Why is asking for money ; not gifts at weddings considered faux pax ?
September 8, 2014 8:25 AM Subscribe
I am referring to the earlier question here - http://ask.metafilter.com/268090/How-do-we-ask-for-cash-as-a-wedding-gift
A lot of vehement posts ... "No." "Do not ask for money".
Are these "older folks"? Is that a previous generation kind of a thing? Why such a strong reaction to asking for money?
Is this a culture thing?
I am just curious. Personally, I am of the opinion absolutely nothing beats cash. You can buy what *you* want/need, instead of being stuck with something someone *assumed* you wanted/needed.
When couples are entirely self sufficient before wedding, useless gifts are just that. Useless. If you are going to spend $X on a gift for me, giving me the $X would be immensely more valuable. I can get something I actually need. I can get something I actually would enjoy more. I can invest it and have it grow to an even larger value in the future.
I can understand if it is some customized gift. Something with the sender's name engraved, so the new couple always know who gave it. If you are going to be giving generic gift bought on the way to the wedding, the couple is probably going to forget who bought the gift a few months down the line, assuming they didn't sell it on the eBay or Craigslist it in the first place.
So why the vehement opposition to money? What exactly is "tacky" about money? Given the recipients will enjoy and benefit from money way more than some random gift, which they probably already have ... Why are people so offended at the mere suggestion of providing money?
Again, is it an age / generation thing? Culture thing? Rich people / poor people thing?
I am just curious. Personally, I am of the opinion absolutely nothing beats cash. You can buy what *you* want/need, instead of being stuck with something someone *assumed* you wanted/needed.
When couples are entirely self sufficient before wedding, useless gifts are just that. Useless. If you are going to spend $X on a gift for me, giving me the $X would be immensely more valuable. I can get something I actually need. I can get something I actually would enjoy more. I can invest it and have it grow to an even larger value in the future.
I can understand if it is some customized gift. Something with the sender's name engraved, so the new couple always know who gave it. If you are going to be giving generic gift bought on the way to the wedding, the couple is probably going to forget who bought the gift a few months down the line, assuming they didn't sell it on the eBay or Craigslist it in the first place.
So why the vehement opposition to money? What exactly is "tacky" about money? Given the recipients will enjoy and benefit from money way more than some random gift, which they probably already have ... Why are people so offended at the mere suggestion of providing money?
Again, is it an age / generation thing? Culture thing? Rich people / poor people thing?
This post was deleted for the following reason: AskMe isn't intended as the starting point for debates, sorry. -- restless_nomad
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All of these. As someone in my twenties, I have never given a wedding gift other than cash, and I have absolutely nothing in common with the people who have apoplexies whenever you suggest you may do something differently than how Ms. Manners proscribed in 1947.
Some people just have more of an attachment to "rules" than other people do, and people who have a personal investment in "the rules" are very rabid in how they are applied to weddings in particular.
posted by Juliet Banana at 8:28 AM on September 8, 2014