Tell me again why teenagers shouldn't be having sex.
July 28, 2014 11:57 AM Subscribe
My 15-yr old daughter recently told me she has been having sex with her boyfriend of 10 months (also 15 y.o.)
posted by cherrybounce to Human Relations (78 answers total) 53 users marked this as a favorite
She is a smart girl, well behaved, honor student, never in trouble at school, always been mature for her age. I like the BF. He is outgoing, motivated and very smart.
We have tried to "keep an eye" on them - obviously not too well. I was initially very upset about this news. Yeah, I think 15 is too young. She is still my baby. I think high school in general is too young, but I was in high school when I had sex the first time so ... I told her, while I did not approve, I would put her on birth control. I told my husband she wanted to be on birth control, but not actually that she has already had sex. One step at a time for him.
Her BF decided to tell his mom, WHY I DON'T REALLY KNOW. Now, all hell has broken loose. The mom wants the adults to meet, tell the kids that this is unacceptable, and that from now on, they have to be under our watchful eyes at all times. My husband was upset, but not too shocked. He was initially opposed to putting daughter on birth control, but has come around. He also wants them watched like a hawk, now. He wants the BF to only come to our house, not let her go to his.
I feel that the genie is out of the bottle. I am trying to analyze my feelings about kids that age having sex and find that I am ambivalent, especially now that it has already happened. I know my husband and BF's mom (not sure about B.F's dad yet) would think I am NUTS if I say, maybe we shouldn't worry about it so much, as long as Daughter is on birth control. I think it is just a matter of time before it happens again - they start driving soon. Is the issue that they are not emotionally ready? Yes, they probably aren't. Is it that it is immoral? That is not my issue, but is probably the BF mom's issue. Why is sex such a big FUCKING (ha ha) anyway???? My daughter is upset - this is practically the end of her life. I'm trying to tell her that this will all settle down (without saying, you know, you two are 15 and could break up next month.)
I don't want to have to chaperone them 24/7. But I don't want to abdicate my parental responsibility.
My question is, what would you do in this situation?