Relief for the bereaved
July 5, 2014 11:32 AM Subscribe
My mom died two weeks ago. It was from a fast growing lymphoma - was sudden and unexpected. She was an incredibly healthy person leading up to about the year before her death - no vices at all, exercised religiously, and maintained a very healthy lifestyle. Question revolves around help for coping with this loss, potential near-future loss of father, and changes in live.
posted by dmbfan93 to Human Relations (12 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
I had a complicated relationship with my mother (who doesn't) but feel very sad about this loss. I'm newly married, 8 months pregnant and really still needed my mom, regardless of the complexity of our relationship. I'm also under incredible stress from other things going on in my life (new first marriage, first baby, started a new job in May, new home, financial strain of trying to sell old home, the list really does go on and on). Additionally, my father is in very poor health and we actually anticipated him passing way before my mother. Parents are divorced but were married for decades and were still very congenial. So my question is really two fold - how do you deal with all of these unanticipated stressors - i am talking to a counselor but would love to hear some anecdata on how others have really dealt with this - any suggestions on books to read about loss would be helpful, esp ones dealing with complicated mother-daughter relationships. My other question is about my anxiety over my father's failing health. I sense he's becoming more and more weak since the shock of my mother's passing and know that sometimes when one spouse dies the other one follows shortly thereafter. (even though they are both divorced and remarried, there was still a connection) so any anecdata or insight you could share on this anxiety I have (either to quell or confirm, yes you've seen this before) would be appreciated.