As I'm edging closer to middle age, I am struck by how little I know myself. Occasionally I am asked to talk or write about myself (mainly for work purposes) and I have no idea what to say. I am fairly aware of my range of skills, but I have very little insight as to my personality traits. I have done the Myer-Briggs test, read several books and completed various career assessments, but I still struggle to define who I am.
More details inside - but in short: how do others define and describe themselves? How do you become aware of
? Think more pragmatic/philosophical descriptions of your personality traits and less about CV bloats.
I am a 30-something woman. I'm in a loving and healthy relationship, have a somewhat unpredictable but fun career path, and I have travelled a lot. I should have plenty of things to say about myself, yet I continue to struggle.
I usually quip that my personality is that I have none - but though a comedy answer, this does hint at how much I struggle to define who I am. I can say with confidence that I am smart and I am nice .. but I do not know what else to say about myself. I'm verbose? My favourite colour is green?
Strategies I have employed:
+ hiring people to write my bio blurbs rather than stare at a blank screen for three days.
+ asking friends and family what sort of qualities I have. Frustratingly I just got "you are you! xx" replies which felt very unhelpful.
+ reading books about various temperaments and doing tests. I register as an INTP
(Myers-Briggs) - but I cannot shake the feeling that I might as well have consulted a horoscope as the descriptions all seem so vague.
+ therapy sessions - Mainly these ended up us discussing Plato a whole lot. Long story. It is certainly not a lack of stable identity (I am indeed me, as friends & family pointed out) and I have not been diagnosed with any form of disorder. I just don't have a clue as to defining that core Self.
Good friends seem very adept at describing themselves and what they are great at ("I'm great at talking to people!" - "I am creative and spontaneous!" - "I am a family man with a great sense of responsibility for my community"). How do they do
that? More to the point: how can I become able to do that?