I am heartbroken and the pain is terrible. :( How can I feel better
November 21, 2013 9:18 PM Subscribe
There is this guy I've liked for the past four years. I'm 25 and he's 33. We were always good friends, very attracted to each other, but he always told me he never wanted a relationship, not just with me, but with anyone. But I always had very deep feelings for him, he was the first man I ever had sex with, and he cared for me a lot too; even got a little jealous when I had a boyfriend.
Anyway, he's been seeing this girl for a few months that he told me a few weeks ago he’s starting to get really serious about her. It's killing me. He said the reason me and him never got together was because of timing, our age difference, and the fact that we are at different stages in life. He said he sees a better match with her than with me. He said I'm amazing and it has nothing to do with me, but this whole scenario killed me. With me, it was casual hanging out, and with her, it's nice vacations, (Disney World, etc), meeting his family, spending holidays together. He also came back to me once over the summer while they were temporarily in exclusive, but went back to her. It hurts so much to see him giving to someone else what I always wanted.
What hurts me even more is the fact that she’s very beautiful. I know looks aren’t everything, but it’s still making me feel very insecure. I’m average-looking, but she’s tall, thin, has long brown hair, etc. She also has a career, apartment, and a regular salary, while I’m still working on my Master’s thesis, working a part-time job at the Y, and living with my parents. It makes me feel like I never stood a chance with him. How am I supposed to be okay, knowing that only did he pick someone else, he picked someone who’s better than me in so many ways? The weekends are the worst, when I know they’re happy going on dates together, and I’m sitting in my room alone, working on my thesis. With the holidays coming up, I dread how much worse I’m going to feel, knowing he’s probably meeting her family and getting even closer to her. I just feel terrible all the time. I wake up sick to my stomach every morning, and don’t know how to feel better. HELP!
PS—A shorter version of this question was posted on here a little while ago, but there are still aspects of the situation which I am struggling with, which is why this question is posted again. Thank you to the Metafilter community for coming together and helping me so much last time. It helped me a lot, and I appreciate it.
Anyway, he's been seeing this girl for a few months that he told me a few weeks ago he’s starting to get really serious about her. It's killing me. He said the reason me and him never got together was because of timing, our age difference, and the fact that we are at different stages in life. He said he sees a better match with her than with me. He said I'm amazing and it has nothing to do with me, but this whole scenario killed me. With me, it was casual hanging out, and with her, it's nice vacations, (Disney World, etc), meeting his family, spending holidays together. He also came back to me once over the summer while they were temporarily in exclusive, but went back to her. It hurts so much to see him giving to someone else what I always wanted.
What hurts me even more is the fact that she’s very beautiful. I know looks aren’t everything, but it’s still making me feel very insecure. I’m average-looking, but she’s tall, thin, has long brown hair, etc. She also has a career, apartment, and a regular salary, while I’m still working on my Master’s thesis, working a part-time job at the Y, and living with my parents. It makes me feel like I never stood a chance with him. How am I supposed to be okay, knowing that only did he pick someone else, he picked someone who’s better than me in so many ways? The weekends are the worst, when I know they’re happy going on dates together, and I’m sitting in my room alone, working on my thesis. With the holidays coming up, I dread how much worse I’m going to feel, knowing he’s probably meeting her family and getting even closer to her. I just feel terrible all the time. I wake up sick to my stomach every morning, and don’t know how to feel better. HELP!
PS—A shorter version of this question was posted on here a little while ago, but there are still aspects of the situation which I am struggling with, which is why this question is posted again. Thank you to the Metafilter community for coming together and helping me so much last time. It helped me a lot, and I appreciate it.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Asking the same question a week later isn't really how Ask MetaFilter works. -- mathowie
« Older how do you find / hire a researcher (for a... | Switching to 12-hour night shifts: what am I... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.