Help me sort some problems.
November 4, 2013 1:26 PM Subscribe
How do I make the changes I want and actually see them through? Breaking life long habits.
posted by Junghans to human relations (12 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Ok so at present, I feel like my life is incredibly polarising, there are sections I'm content with. However these are often cast next to immense turbulence and feeling of discomfort.
1.) Work & Home Life - My current job is great. I get paid to cover my passion and it opens me up to esoteric experiences I could never get just sitting at home watching. I work with arguably the leader in my field, and my bosses have said some very kind things about my work. My LinkedIn has some amazing references (I'm freelance) and I feel like work is truly progressing in a positive direction.
The problem here is, I don't really want to be in England anymore. I've worked briefly in the US and it just clicks for me. I feel more comfortable in the country, and overall I prefer the lifestyle/culture there. I preface this with the fact I have done more than holiday in the country. Up until recently I dated an American for just over 3 years and we spent periods living/working together (I can operate remotely). There's days when I wake up, remember that I'm not where I want to be and get down.
2.) Relationships - As you will have ascertained I'm also the single one in my group. My friends to a man are all in steady relationships, preparing mortgages and settling down (we're 24/25). I just broke up with my fiancé. We were set to marry and after I attempted to call it off, she eventually did - dating a new man a week later before becoming serious 2-3 weeks into it.
That situation has left me with huge pangs of regret. In trying to date, I've actually ended up longing for what I had. My entire life I have never really connected with English girls. I've tried to date them, (even recently) and I never apply a prejudice, but it's crept its head up again. Subsequently, I find myself questioning whether I've let someone great slip by. At the time I thought she was selfish, demanding, clingy, and not always supportive of my work. Now I think there was actually a shit ton of good things about her and the fact she has been able to a seemingly great guy proves that.
Meanwhile I scrabble around a country I don't like, dating women I care little for.
3.) Weight/lifestyle changes. I'm overweight. My ex had admitted she wasn't physically attracted to me at least from the shoulders down. I've bought weights, I've joined a gym, and yet I can't summon the motivation to eat healthy. I want to cook and I want to read more I want to make so many life changes and grow as an individual, yet I can't seem to actually see them through - this has been a long standing problem and I'm desperate to change it. Like truly desperate.
I also want to drive, 25, without a car or license it's embarrassing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, please help me work out how to fix my problems, because at present I feel as if they're piling up on top of me.