My fiancé dislikes my mother..,
October 30, 2013 3:00 PM Subscribe
My fiancé dislikes my mother. How big an issue will this be? What can I do to mitigate any future issues regarding this?
posted by anonymous to human relations (29 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Longer version: we have been together 2 years, living together for one and a bit. In an otherwise extremely compatible relationship, this has been the one issue. At first, I chalked it up to some special snowflake stuff---his ex's mother treated him horribly and she has some demographic similarities to my mom, and he had one family dinner with my parents that didn't go so well, and I think he never really got over it.
But it recently came up again and he confessed that, while the snowflake issues are part of it, they are not all of it; he just plain does not like her. So...now what? I am disappointed that it is a problem for him as I had thought things were getting better. But I am also not sure how much of a problem this really has to be. She goes south for the winter and isn't even here for six months. When she is, I see her every other week or so, but not excessively. I love her, but she has her own life, as I do mine, and as long as he is prepared to suck it up once in awhile (he says he is) I should be fine. Shouldn't I be? Or am I being very naive about this?
I continue to hope it will improve with time, but I am prepared (I think) for it not to. I'd just like some advice on how to deal with this effectively. For example, I continue to say stuff like 'X can't make it' if I see her on my own; I have not actually told my mother yet that he doesn't like her...