Seeing an old ex stirred up more feelings than expected
September 26, 2013 6:13 PM Subscribe
So more than 4 years after the breakup and we only dated 6 months. But I see her car in the parking lot at the grocery store I go to. I've never seen her there before. I keep looking and see that it's definitely her in the car. We didn't talk. I don't think she saw me. I was leaving as she was pulling in. But my heart definitely raced and all sorts of emotions came flooding back. I was disappointed that it affected me as much as it did. Does this need fixing? How would I fix this?
posted by yeahyeahyeah to human relations (7 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
It's just a shock to ego to still be so easily tripped up by something like this.
She was the first person I fell in love with and I guess it's hard to shake that, despite the relationship itself being so torturous. I still play over things in my head about how it could've been better or worked or what went wrong. But then I know all the ways in which I disliked her so much. I still don't comprehend how I so deeply liked someone that frustrated me so much and made me doubt and still sometimes makes me doubt my natural inclinations about relationships and love and romance (after all, if I weren't so weird about certain things, the relationship would've worked and we would've just had the good, pure marrow of ecstatic touching, talking, and love). I know that this is crazy, like if I heard someone tell me this, I'd be like, "Yo, you've got to get a grip. I'm saying this as a friend." But now I'm afraid that I haven't resolved/made peace with this enough. Out of sight of mind has worked but it seems there hasn't been an inward transformation. It's all still submerged.
So, any advice for truly curing these old feelings? Or should I just keep on keeping on and not worry about it and one day I'll feel nothing when I see a car that looks like hers pull into a parking lot? Or is this impossible and some things in life you never completely get over?