Now what?
May 10, 2013 10:00 PM Subscribe
What are some after-the-first-date protocols? How long should i wait before giving up?
I am a female in my late 20s. Met a guy who is a couple of years older through an online dating website. Had a nice (in my opinion) first date yesterday where we talked about everything. Both of us seemed a bit nervous which I think was normal for the first date. He seemed very polite and respectful. Before saying goodbye, he said that he had a good time and we should go out to dinner some time and he said he would contact me over the weekend. He texted me later to see if I got home ok and in his text he said that he had fun. I replied by saying that i had a great time too and thanked him for the drinks, and said good night. He is going to be out of town this weekend. I sent him a short text this evening and wished him a good weekend. We exchanged a couple of short texts but he didn't say about our date or a potential future date, neither did I. I really liked the guy and would like to get to know him better...but now what? what is the protocol?I know that I should let him contact me and arrange a date if he is interested..but I have a feeling that he might not, since I didn't hear from him until I reached out to him. is it normal or is he not interested....or am I being too impatient? Should I expect him to contact me over the weekend like he said he would? Can you please share your thoughts and some after-the-first-date protocols?
I am a female in my late 20s. Met a guy who is a couple of years older through an online dating website. Had a nice (in my opinion) first date yesterday where we talked about everything. Both of us seemed a bit nervous which I think was normal for the first date. He seemed very polite and respectful. Before saying goodbye, he said that he had a good time and we should go out to dinner some time and he said he would contact me over the weekend. He texted me later to see if I got home ok and in his text he said that he had fun. I replied by saying that i had a great time too and thanked him for the drinks, and said good night. He is going to be out of town this weekend. I sent him a short text this evening and wished him a good weekend. We exchanged a couple of short texts but he didn't say about our date or a potential future date, neither did I. I really liked the guy and would like to get to know him better...but now what? what is the protocol?I know that I should let him contact me and arrange a date if he is interested..but I have a feeling that he might not, since I didn't hear from him until I reached out to him. is it normal or is he not interested....or am I being too impatient? Should I expect him to contact me over the weekend like he said he would? Can you please share your thoughts and some after-the-first-date protocols?
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster request -- taz
Expect him to be a reasonable human being and tell him what you want. If you want to go out again, say so. If he wigs out, you didn't want to date him anyway.
posted by Mars Saxman at 10:08 PM on May 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Mars Saxman at 10:08 PM on May 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
You met yesterday.
It's no the weekend yet.
He said he would contact you this weekend.
What am I missing????
posted by jbenben at 10:10 PM on May 10, 2013 [5 favorites]
It's no the weekend yet.
He said he would contact you this weekend.
What am I missing????
posted by jbenben at 10:10 PM on May 10, 2013 [5 favorites]
You just went out yesterday. I'd give it a few days. You followed up and he responded nicely; that's great. It's OK to be interested and excited but don't act desperate. If no word in a few days, reach out again. After that, the ball is in his court.
posted by shoesietart at 10:13 PM on May 10, 2013
posted by shoesietart at 10:13 PM on May 10, 2013
Give the guy a chance to live up to his promise that he'd contact you over the weekend.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 10:24 PM on May 10, 2013
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 10:24 PM on May 10, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
With all due respect, the onus should not only be on him to make arrangements. You are perfectly capable of picking up the phone/writing an email and taking the initiative to set up plans yourself.
He could be disinterested. He could be interested but busy. There are any number of other possibilities that we can't know. Just call or email or text him.
I'm not terribly sure why we demand equality of the sexes and egalitarian relationships yet still hold onto expectations like "Men should do X" and "women should do Y", frankly.
posted by Zelos at 10:04 PM on May 10, 2013