I am Bi, but, im married to a man

February 9, 2013 9:29 PM

Here it is, i was with woman for 10 years, and now I am married to a man. I want to meet desireable woman, however, I don't want him to know. HELP!
posted by brittaincrowe to Human Relations (5 answers total)

Uhm, is that your full name and e-mail in your profile? With your photo? I'm thinking maybe this isn't something you are prepared to take on.
posted by Dynex at 9:31 PM on February 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

I am a woman who dates women and I would not want to date someone who is lying to their spouse about me.

I think many "desirable" women would feel the same--at least if "desirable" includes non-physical qualities like being honest and being a good communicator. So, I think you should discuss this with your husband instead of going behind his back.
posted by needs more cowbell at 9:34 PM on February 9, 2013

Best answer: Why don't you want him to know? I'm aware that this question seems a little naive on the surface but I'd be interested in what comes up as you really unpack it. Some men can accept and even welcome enriching relationships for his partner, particularly when they're with lovers of a different gender. I agree with others that you owe it to yourself to let this part of you breathe in your primary relationship.
posted by R2WeTwo at 9:40 PM on February 9, 2013

If you're asking how to be dishonest and a cheater, you do it the way people always do it. By lying and cheating. "She's a friend, new email address, working late, traveling for work, going shopping, etc., etc."

How do you think it's done? Try and be as clever as possible and hope you don't get caught. D'oh.
posted by shoesietart at 9:48 PM on February 9, 2013

This is sort of obvious, but going behind your spouse's back to have sex with other people of whatever gender is dishonest and nothing good will come of it. Don't do this.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 9:49 PM on February 9, 2013