Have you written a letter and been glad you did it?
January 3, 2013 4:54 PM Subscribe
Have you ever written someone a long letter, and it turned out to be a good idea?
There are lots of situations when you might write out a long letter to someone, whether it's your boss, your ex, your ex-best-friend, a family member, whatever.
Often, people suggest that you write out these letters and not send them. Have you ever written a long letter to someone and you ended up being glad you sent it? What was the letter and what happened?
(Email counts.)
There are lots of situations when you might write out a long letter to someone, whether it's your boss, your ex, your ex-best-friend, a family member, whatever.
Often, people suggest that you write out these letters and not send them. Have you ever written a long letter to someone and you ended up being glad you sent it? What was the letter and what happened?
(Email counts.)
This post was deleted for the following reason: This is pretty chatty, if you gave us more detail for why you are asking and specifics on the situation would help. -- mathowie
Sure, but always in the context of "we're having a conversation and you wanted to know my position on this topic", plenty of long letters written like that, as conversation, have been fun to send, receive, and reply to.
On the other hand, if you're writing a long letter that's basically saying "this is why you were wrong to [break up with me, not give me a raise, fire me, cheat on me, wrong me in some way]", it's a lot less likely that this will be productive.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 4:56 PM on January 3, 2013
On the other hand, if you're writing a long letter that's basically saying "this is why you were wrong to [break up with me, not give me a raise, fire me, cheat on me, wrong me in some way]", it's a lot less likely that this will be productive.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 4:56 PM on January 3, 2013
Are we talking about a long angry letter? Or just a long letter in general?
Back in high school, one of my best friends wrote me a very long letter in tiny print on the back page of my yearbook. It is one of the most moving things I've ever read. To this day that yearbook is one of my most treasured possessions, and not for the documentary evidence that I was once a member of the Philosophy Club.
So if it's that kind of letter, I say write it. Send it! Sometimes it can be amazing to know that someone thinks so much of you that they're willing to write a 700 word paean to your existence.
posted by Sara C. at 4:58 PM on January 3, 2013
Back in high school, one of my best friends wrote me a very long letter in tiny print on the back page of my yearbook. It is one of the most moving things I've ever read. To this day that yearbook is one of my most treasured possessions, and not for the documentary evidence that I was once a member of the Philosophy Club.
So if it's that kind of letter, I say write it. Send it! Sometimes it can be amazing to know that someone thinks so much of you that they're willing to write a 700 word paean to your existence.
posted by Sara C. at 4:58 PM on January 3, 2013
Er, I assume you mean one of those emotionally-loaded confessional-type letters, right? Not just a long "hey, what's going on, things are good with me..." letter. Because the former are the ones people are generally advised to write and not send. The latter is, well, just a letter.
Anyway, having sent one or two heart-on-the-page letters when I was considerably more socially inept: they're a severe imposition on whoever is receiving them. Like huge, huge imposition. Permanently-relationship-altering imposition.
posted by griphus at 4:59 PM on January 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
Anyway, having sent one or two heart-on-the-page letters when I was considerably more socially inept: they're a severe imposition on whoever is receiving them. Like huge, huge imposition. Permanently-relationship-altering imposition.
posted by griphus at 4:59 PM on January 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
Long "you're awesome" letter (that wasn't to a potential romantic interest)? Always a good idea.
Long "you suck" letter? Always a bad idea.
Long "you're awesome" letters to potential romantic interests have always been disasters for me, but I'm a dork.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:00 PM on January 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
Long "you suck" letter? Always a bad idea.
Long "you're awesome" letters to potential romantic interests have always been disasters for me, but I'm a dork.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:00 PM on January 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
I wrote a long "fuck you" letter to a friend who had not only done me wrong, but wronged several of my other friends. That letter came back to haunt me. I wrote horrible things in the heat of the moment, sent the letter, wished I hadn't. I think writing things out helps one to organize their thoughts and take a deep breath before sticking their foot in their mouth...but only if one doesn't send the letter the second they finish it without reading it over.
I wrote an "I loved you back when" letter to an old friend that I had lost touch with. It was more for me than for him. I suppose it was cathartic for me. He wrote back saying that he was touched that I told him what I did, but I think he was just being polite. If I got an "I loved you back when" letter from an old friend (ten years later) I'd feel kind of uncomfortable. Glad that they'd had their catharsis and all, but still kind of uncomfortable.
posted by Elly Vortex at 5:07 PM on January 3, 2013
I wrote an "I loved you back when" letter to an old friend that I had lost touch with. It was more for me than for him. I suppose it was cathartic for me. He wrote back saying that he was touched that I told him what I did, but I think he was just being polite. If I got an "I loved you back when" letter from an old friend (ten years later) I'd feel kind of uncomfortable. Glad that they'd had their catharsis and all, but still kind of uncomfortable.
posted by Elly Vortex at 5:07 PM on January 3, 2013
If you're talking about an emotionally-charged letter, don't send it. I've done this and had one of two things happen:
1) The person didn't respond or in one case (where it was posted on my highschool ex's blog - ouch) immediately deleted it without reading.
2) Because of the lack of tone in written communication, the person took what I thought was a calmly worded letter as a hate letter spewed with vitriol and sent a similarly-long, angry-sounding letter that they assumed matched the tone of mine.
I've also received letters like this (all from the same guy, natch) and once it became clear it was a "this is why you suck" letter it went straight into the trash.
posted by Autumn at 5:10 PM on January 3, 2013
1) The person didn't respond or in one case (where it was posted on my highschool ex's blog - ouch) immediately deleted it without reading.
2) Because of the lack of tone in written communication, the person took what I thought was a calmly worded letter as a hate letter spewed with vitriol and sent a similarly-long, angry-sounding letter that they assumed matched the tone of mine.
I've also received letters like this (all from the same guy, natch) and once it became clear it was a "this is why you suck" letter it went straight into the trash.
posted by Autumn at 5:10 PM on January 3, 2013
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posted by pompomtom at 4:55 PM on January 3, 2013