please help restore my faith in humanity
August 17, 2012 12:25 PM Subscribe
Please help restore my faith in humanity by sharing true stories of un-self-conscious, under-the-radar kindnesses that people have done for one another.
A thread in my local city-data forum had me this close to happytears last night and I would love to learn of more stories like it.
A woman from NJ posted that her father had died in a plane crash in 1969 in rural southwest Virginia and she was hoping to find out more about what happened. Somehow, the current owner of the crash site found her query and joined the forum to respond to her, with tremendous kindness and generosity. He actually has a piece of the plane that he has offered to her.
The past year has been exceptionally difficult for me and my emotional response was a welcome surprise, I really thought I'd become too cynical and hard to be touched like that.
Please share with me any stories, links, etc., like it about people who have done a kindness to others, or paid it forward, etc. simply as a matter of course, with no reward, no pathos-filled news-at-11 reports, no viral overexposure, etc.
I'm not asking for cute puppy videos or guys offering free hugs on street corners, but rather the quiet unreported stories of people just being kind for the sake of being kind ... I think having a supply of these anecdotes would go a long way toward helping me re-believe that we are capable of more than selfishness, dishonesty, and violence toward each other. Thank you.
A thread in my local city-data forum had me this close to happytears last night and I would love to learn of more stories like it.
A woman from NJ posted that her father had died in a plane crash in 1969 in rural southwest Virginia and she was hoping to find out more about what happened. Somehow, the current owner of the crash site found her query and joined the forum to respond to her, with tremendous kindness and generosity. He actually has a piece of the plane that he has offered to her.
The past year has been exceptionally difficult for me and my emotional response was a welcome surprise, I really thought I'd become too cynical and hard to be touched like that.
Please share with me any stories, links, etc., like it about people who have done a kindness to others, or paid it forward, etc. simply as a matter of course, with no reward, no pathos-filled news-at-11 reports, no viral overexposure, etc.
I'm not asking for cute puppy videos or guys offering free hugs on street corners, but rather the quiet unreported stories of people just being kind for the sake of being kind ... I think having a supply of these anecdotes would go a long way toward helping me re-believe that we are capable of more than selfishness, dishonesty, and violence toward each other. Thank you.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Heya, I know you're going for something nice here but this pretty much "tell me anecdotes" chatfilter stuff more than it's an answerable question. -- cortex
Really? Don't you see this around you pretty regularly? People who drop money in the homeless person's cup, or volunteer at shelters and food centers, or donate to charities, or hold the elevator and door for others, or stop to help strangers find their way, or watch their neighbor's home, or speak up for others who are being mistreated, or call the police when they see a crime happening? These are just things that occur off the top of my head.
So far today I was waved ahead at a stop sign while riding my bicycle by a driver in a car who got there ahead of me, was greeted by the station guard, was allowed to go before them by people at the traiin door who were closer to it when it arrived, was greeted by the security guards at my building and wished a good day, had one of our staff drop by personally to explain a lead remediation project that will affect my office, and was treated nicely even though I was irritable when I called my bank's customer service to ask why they'd frozen my credit card account in response to a charge by one of my regular vendors.
There is a lot of everyday kindness and consideration. It is all around you. Selfish, cruel, and inconsiderate people are the exception, not the norm.
posted by bearwife at 12:33 PM on August 17, 2012 [2 favorites]
So far today I was waved ahead at a stop sign while riding my bicycle by a driver in a car who got there ahead of me, was greeted by the station guard, was allowed to go before them by people at the traiin door who were closer to it when it arrived, was greeted by the security guards at my building and wished a good day, had one of our staff drop by personally to explain a lead remediation project that will affect my office, and was treated nicely even though I was irritable when I called my bank's customer service to ask why they'd frozen my credit card account in response to a charge by one of my regular vendors.
There is a lot of everyday kindness and consideration. It is all around you. Selfish, cruel, and inconsiderate people are the exception, not the norm.
posted by bearwife at 12:33 PM on August 17, 2012 [2 favorites]
As lovely as this is, I don't think it's answerable. There aren't going to be any links to unreported stories, so you're really just asking for anecdotes.
My dad does stuff like this all the time, though. He grew up really poor in a really shitty home situation, so when he sees kids (total strangers, folks he just passes out on the street) who are struggling and on the cusp of making terrible, life-ruining decisions, he takes them aside, takes them out to lunch, gets to know them, and offers support (moral and occasionally financial) to get them self-sufficient. Helping them find jobs, helping them go to school, and basically just being one person who tells them that they're capable of doing good things and that their lives have worth.
And he keeps all this stuff to himself. We (our family) usually wouldn't find out until years later (or ever) when we'd happen to run into one of these people out and about and they'd stop and say hi.
Good folks are out there.
posted by phunniemee at 12:34 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
My dad does stuff like this all the time, though. He grew up really poor in a really shitty home situation, so when he sees kids (total strangers, folks he just passes out on the street) who are struggling and on the cusp of making terrible, life-ruining decisions, he takes them aside, takes them out to lunch, gets to know them, and offers support (moral and occasionally financial) to get them self-sufficient. Helping them find jobs, helping them go to school, and basically just being one person who tells them that they're capable of doing good things and that their lives have worth.
And he keeps all this stuff to himself. We (our family) usually wouldn't find out until years later (or ever) when we'd happen to run into one of these people out and about and they'd stop and say hi.
Good folks are out there.
posted by phunniemee at 12:34 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
There was a well-covered shooting in the city I live in (College Station, TX) earlier this week. One of our area Constables (elected law enforcement officers, similar to a Sheriff but covering only a portion of a county instead of an entire county) was shot dead as he attempted to deliver an eviction notice. Very few uniformed law enforcement officers have paid cash for their lunches and beverages this week.
Last year, during the wildfires in our area, the community of Washington County self-organized firefighter support efforts (as most of the units fighting the fires were local volunteer & city firefighters and not professional wildfire crews -- the pros were on fires further west or in Bastrop), including intake and categorization of supplies, cooking meals for firefighters, and setting up aid stations for firefighters and displaced community members (including sleeping accommodations and prepaid cellphones to call loved ones) that when the professional CalFire management team arrived on scene to manage the fire, they left the volunteer structure in place because it far exceeded what they'd have organized.
posted by SpecialK at 12:35 PM on August 17, 2012
Last year, during the wildfires in our area, the community of Washington County self-organized firefighter support efforts (as most of the units fighting the fires were local volunteer & city firefighters and not professional wildfire crews -- the pros were on fires further west or in Bastrop), including intake and categorization of supplies, cooking meals for firefighters, and setting up aid stations for firefighters and displaced community members (including sleeping accommodations and prepaid cellphones to call loved ones) that when the professional CalFire management team arrived on scene to manage the fire, they left the volunteer structure in place because it far exceeded what they'd have organized.
posted by SpecialK at 12:35 PM on August 17, 2012
From right here at home (er, the green), go read this question, this answer, then this one.
posted by rtha at 12:36 PM on August 17, 2012
posted by rtha at 12:36 PM on August 17, 2012
I was working at starbucks and was soon going to be finishing my pilates mat certification. I told a regular about it bc she was really sweet and we often would chat. she told me that she had a reformer, which is a pilates machine worth $4000. Now, if you teach mat work you can make around $25 an hour, but if you teach on the machine you can make $50-$75 and hr. She asked if I was ever going to teach on the reformer. I told her that I did plan to at some time. She asked if I wanted hers. I told her thank you but that I did not have any savings at the time. She said no, I want to GIVE it to you. That was the best tip I ever got in my life. It was in great shape and I just love this story. Some people are really generous and love to help others out. BTW, have you seen the film pay it forward? Kinda corny, I know but uplifting :)
posted by TRUELOTUS at 12:40 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by TRUELOTUS at 12:40 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
It's a tiny tiny one, but my mother had a story from when my father was in a hospital; he'd just had a colonoscopy a couple days before and had some complications and was going into sepsis; Mom rushed him back and was in the waiting room while the doctors were working on him.
While she waited, Mom overheard a conversation another woman was having with her own family, and from the conversation Mom gathered tha the woman's husband was way worse off than Dad was - Mom caught the words "chemo" and "do you think we need hospice yet," for instance. Anyway, the rest of the woman's family left, and the woman chuckled to herself and turned to Mom and struck up a "so what brings YOU here conversation" with her. They chatted just a bit, and Mom confessed she was worried about Dad. She was so worried, in fact, that she'd been needing to get a drink of water for an hour by that point but was too worried about leaving the waiting room in case the doctor came out to talk to her or --
And at that exact moment, the doctor came out to talk to Mom and said he could bring her to see Dad. The woman wished Mom well as Mom, scattered, followed the doctor off, saying she'd just leave her coat where it was. "I'll keep an eye on it," the woman said as Mom walked off.
Dad was fine - he'd just forgotten to tell the doctor he was on an immunosuppressant for his arthritis, so they just had him on some IV antibiotics and they were already seeing improvement. A couple days in the hospital under observation and he'd be fine. The doctors let Mom and Dad talk for a few minutes, then Mom left him to go home.
When she got back to the waiting room, the woman was gone. But sitting with her coat, Mom found a bottle of water and a cookie that the woman had got for her from the vending machine.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:45 PM on August 17, 2012 [2 favorites]
While she waited, Mom overheard a conversation another woman was having with her own family, and from the conversation Mom gathered tha the woman's husband was way worse off than Dad was - Mom caught the words "chemo" and "do you think we need hospice yet," for instance. Anyway, the rest of the woman's family left, and the woman chuckled to herself and turned to Mom and struck up a "so what brings YOU here conversation" with her. They chatted just a bit, and Mom confessed she was worried about Dad. She was so worried, in fact, that she'd been needing to get a drink of water for an hour by that point but was too worried about leaving the waiting room in case the doctor came out to talk to her or --
And at that exact moment, the doctor came out to talk to Mom and said he could bring her to see Dad. The woman wished Mom well as Mom, scattered, followed the doctor off, saying she'd just leave her coat where it was. "I'll keep an eye on it," the woman said as Mom walked off.
Dad was fine - he'd just forgotten to tell the doctor he was on an immunosuppressant for his arthritis, so they just had him on some IV antibiotics and they were already seeing improvement. A couple days in the hospital under observation and he'd be fine. The doctors let Mom and Dad talk for a few minutes, then Mom left him to go home.
When she got back to the waiting room, the woman was gone. But sitting with her coat, Mom found a bottle of water and a cookie that the woman had got for her from the vending machine.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:45 PM on August 17, 2012 [2 favorites]
I knew I'd marry my husband when he helped an elderly woman put her bags up on a train. He was exhausted. We'd run a marathon the day before and just getting up out of the train seat killed his thighs. But he got up. Carried her bags up the steps and put them up on the overhead for her. Not for any reason except that he's a kind and decent guy.
The world is full of truly kind and decent people.
posted by 26.2 at 12:52 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
The world is full of truly kind and decent people.
posted by 26.2 at 12:52 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I keep an eye out constantly for "restore your faith in humanity" stories to keep myself from going postal. One page I really like is Andre Bastary's Pinterest collection of re-humanizing stories. There is also a collection of mundane acts of kindness here that may cheer you.
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 12:56 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 12:56 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yes, probably chatfilter, but... here's one for you..
On particularly bad day at work, I had to get out for a while in order to survive.... I left for lunch, at my usual bad-fast-food outlet, I pulled up in the drive through to pay for my order to be told that the guy in line in front of me (who had already picked up his food and left) had already paid for it.
I paid for the guy behind me.....
Turned my day around, I should do it more often!
posted by HuronBob at 12:57 PM on August 17, 2012 [3 favorites]
On particularly bad day at work, I had to get out for a while in order to survive.... I left for lunch, at my usual bad-fast-food outlet, I pulled up in the drive through to pay for my order to be told that the guy in line in front of me (who had already picked up his food and left) had already paid for it.
I paid for the guy behind me.....
Turned my day around, I should do it more often!
posted by HuronBob at 12:57 PM on August 17, 2012 [3 favorites]
When my son was a toddler, I picked him up from childcare and walked to the bus stop on campus. Suddenly, it began pouring rain. Like, pouring buckets of rain. There was no place to take shelter. Cars passed by us, but I couldn't even accept a ride. A guy pulled over, dashed out of his car, handed me an umbrella, and drove away before I could even thank him. I had that umbrella for years and always thought of that guy.
This year, my husband died the day before my son's birthday. On the day of his birthday we saw a helium balloon in the driveway. We found it attached to a gift bag filled with water guns and other little things from the dollar store. There was an unsigned card wishing him a happy birthday. As I walked through town in those difficult days, I figured that anybody we knew (or sort of knew) could have been the mysterious gift giver. That made me assume the best in everyone, and it lightened my heart when I needed it.
posted by Fichereader at 1:01 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
This year, my husband died the day before my son's birthday. On the day of his birthday we saw a helium balloon in the driveway. We found it attached to a gift bag filled with water guns and other little things from the dollar store. There was an unsigned card wishing him a happy birthday. As I walked through town in those difficult days, I figured that anybody we knew (or sort of knew) could have been the mysterious gift giver. That made me assume the best in everyone, and it lightened my heart when I needed it.
posted by Fichereader at 1:01 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
What about all those people who paid off folks layaway at Christmas-time last year? Those stories were everywhere.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:02 PM on August 17, 2012
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:02 PM on August 17, 2012
In 2006, a local Massachusetts bike builder, Mike Flanigan needed a replacement van after his old vehicle died. He wound up going to Providence to buy a beatup old Dodge Caravan from an elderly couple. The van was a little rundown but it held up over the years, and also, every year, Mike would get a Christmas card from Al, "The Guy With The Van", and even though it was just a Craigslist transaction, Mike's the sort of nice guy who will write people back. So they maintained a correspondence.
In 2010, Mike got a letter from "The Guy With The Van" just letting him know that his wife (of 32 years) had died and he was having a rough time of it, and he had also been diagnosed with cancer himself. So, that December, Mike posted an entry on his blog basically asking his customers and friends to send a Christmas card to Al, "The Guy With The Van" simply saying:
It's notable, not so much for a guy on the Internet asking a bunch of friends to send Christmas cards, but the way the meme spread so that random strangers on the Internet would just put this guy on their Christmas card list because of his story.
posted by bl1nk at 1:03 PM on August 17, 2012 [2 favorites]
In 2010, Mike got a letter from "The Guy With The Van" just letting him know that his wife (of 32 years) had died and he was having a rough time of it, and he had also been diagnosed with cancer himself. So, that December, Mike posted an entry on his blog basically asking his customers and friends to send a Christmas card to Al, "The Guy With The Van" simply saying:
Hi Al,He didn't intend for it to go viral. But, because it's the internet. It did.
I am a friend of Mike “The guy that bought the van”. He told me you were having a hard time, so I thought I would say Happy Holidays!
It's notable, not so much for a guy on the Internet asking a bunch of friends to send Christmas cards, but the way the meme spread so that random strangers on the Internet would just put this guy on their Christmas card list because of his story.
posted by bl1nk at 1:03 PM on August 17, 2012 [2 favorites]
also, i'm sure others have received this chain email and it list all the best things in lfe that are free and just make you smile.
1. Falling in love.
>
> 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
>
> 3. A hot shower.
>
> 4. No lines at the supermarket
>
> 6. Getting mail
. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
>
> 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
>
> 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
>
> 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
>
> 11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
>
> 12. Coffee or Hot Cocca on a cold snowy day
>
> 13. A long distance phone call.
>
> 14. A bubble bath.
>
> 15. Giggling.
6. A good conversation.
>
> 17 The beach
>
> 18. Finding a 20 bill in your coat from last winter.
>
> 19. Laughing at yourself.
>
> 20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
>
> 21. Running through sprinklers.
>
> 22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
>
> 23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
>
> 24. Laughing at an inside joke.
>
> 25. Friends.
6. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
>
> 27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
>
> 28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
>
> 29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
>
> 30. Playing with a new puppy.
>
> 31. Having someone play with your hair.
>
> 32. Sweet dreams.
>
>
> 34. Road trips with friends.
>
> 35. Swinging on swings.
>
> 36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and
> drinking yeggnog while listening to your fav christmas music
>
> 37a new CD from a favorite artist
>
> 38. Going to a really good concert.
>
> 39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger
>
> 40. a great new book
>
> 41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
>
> 42. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
>
> 43. Spending time with close friends.
>
> 44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
>
> 45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
>
> 46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or
> bad) never change
>
> 47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
>
> 48. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much
> desired present from you.
>
> 49. Watching the sunrise.
>
> 50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another
> beautiful day.
Life is beautiful!
in Navajo culture there is a saying Walk in Beauty. My sis and I do gratefuls each day, based on the book Simply Abundance. I really suggest writing down each day what you are grateful for and I am sure that soon you will notice these interactions that you were asking for. Just simple things like giving someone in the laundry room 2 quarters or change in the grocery line....Maybe you need to be moved to action and help others like volunteering and than you will be surrounded by those with the same intentions
>
posted by TRUELOTUS at 1:04 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
1. Falling in love.
>
> 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
>
> 3. A hot shower.
>
> 4. No lines at the supermarket
>
> 6. Getting mail
. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
>
> 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
>
> 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
>
> 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
>
> 11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
>
> 12. Coffee or Hot Cocca on a cold snowy day
>
> 13. A long distance phone call.
>
> 14. A bubble bath.
>
> 15. Giggling.
6. A good conversation.
>
> 17 The beach
>
> 18. Finding a 20 bill in your coat from last winter.
>
> 19. Laughing at yourself.
>
> 20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
>
> 21. Running through sprinklers.
>
> 22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
>
> 23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
>
> 24. Laughing at an inside joke.
>
> 25. Friends.
6. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
>
> 27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
>
> 28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
>
> 29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
>
> 30. Playing with a new puppy.
>
> 31. Having someone play with your hair.
>
> 32. Sweet dreams.
>
>
> 34. Road trips with friends.
>
> 35. Swinging on swings.
>
> 36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and
> drinking yeggnog while listening to your fav christmas music
>
> 37a new CD from a favorite artist
>
> 38. Going to a really good concert.
>
> 39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger
>
> 40. a great new book
>
> 41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
>
> 42. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
>
> 43. Spending time with close friends.
>
> 44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
>
> 45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
>
> 46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or
> bad) never change
>
> 47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
>
> 48. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much
> desired present from you.
>
> 49. Watching the sunrise.
>
> 50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another
> beautiful day.
Life is beautiful!
in Navajo culture there is a saying Walk in Beauty. My sis and I do gratefuls each day, based on the book Simply Abundance. I really suggest writing down each day what you are grateful for and I am sure that soon you will notice these interactions that you were asking for. Just simple things like giving someone in the laundry room 2 quarters or change in the grocery line....Maybe you need to be moved to action and help others like volunteering and than you will be surrounded by those with the same intentions
>
posted by TRUELOTUS at 1:04 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]
Best answer: The existence of Foster Care is pretty high up on the list for me. Not the fact that it's needed, of course, but that many of the people do it are awesome.
I was in foster care for some time as a teenager, and I really won the foster care lottery with the family I got. The mom taught me how to make Beef Bourgingnon, with wine and everything, while being very clear that you don't use much and you don't drink any of the wine until you're 21. I had clean sheets, which got changed twice a week. I learned how to use a duvet cover, which I had never even seen before. I cried a lot that week, because I knew I was going to have to go back to my mom's place, which was pretty dangerous. Foster Mom made it clear that it was ok to be sad and mad about the situation, and she just let me cryyyyyyy, which nobody had ever done for me.
See also the blog Fosterhood, which also has a lot of sadness, but is a single woman in NYC doing her best to remain connected to the children she has provided foster care for. Here's the timeline on the fosterhood blog.
posted by bilabial at 1:07 PM on August 17, 2012 [3 favorites]
I was in foster care for some time as a teenager, and I really won the foster care lottery with the family I got. The mom taught me how to make Beef Bourgingnon, with wine and everything, while being very clear that you don't use much and you don't drink any of the wine until you're 21. I had clean sheets, which got changed twice a week. I learned how to use a duvet cover, which I had never even seen before. I cried a lot that week, because I knew I was going to have to go back to my mom's place, which was pretty dangerous. Foster Mom made it clear that it was ok to be sad and mad about the situation, and she just let me cryyyyyyy, which nobody had ever done for me.
See also the blog Fosterhood, which also has a lot of sadness, but is a single woman in NYC doing her best to remain connected to the children she has provided foster care for. Here's the timeline on the fosterhood blog.
posted by bilabial at 1:07 PM on August 17, 2012 [3 favorites]
Most inspirational story of selflessness I know: nothing dramatic, just a quick, quiet moment of altruistic thought.
Kid (about 20) in total liver failure, orange as a pumpkin and reeking of ammonia. In pain and horribly nauseated. We made the nausea infinitely worse by flying him on a windy, bumpy day to a large medical center. Midway through this hellish flight he looks troubled and asks something nobody else had ever asked me in 7 years of med-evac work, "what if there's somebody else who needs the helicopter while you're busy with me?"
So here's a kid no more than a couple days from death, going through torments, and he's worried about some other person's possible need.
(Happy ending. A donor liver came through, and he eventually went home.)
posted by wjm at 1:09 PM on August 17, 2012 [3 favorites]
Kid (about 20) in total liver failure, orange as a pumpkin and reeking of ammonia. In pain and horribly nauseated. We made the nausea infinitely worse by flying him on a windy, bumpy day to a large medical center. Midway through this hellish flight he looks troubled and asks something nobody else had ever asked me in 7 years of med-evac work, "what if there's somebody else who needs the helicopter while you're busy with me?"
So here's a kid no more than a couple days from death, going through torments, and he's worried about some other person's possible need.
(Happy ending. A donor liver came through, and he eventually went home.)
posted by wjm at 1:09 PM on August 17, 2012 [3 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
I also recommend Peter Diamandis's TED talk, it's not a story like you mentioned but it really helped me be more optimistic especially with all the sad and awful news we constantly are bombarded with.
posted by xicana63 at 12:32 PM on August 17, 2012 [1 favorite]