Anger

August 4, 2005 2:51 AM

What do you do with your anger?

I'm furious. Want to kick down walls, punch things, break things, the whole nine. But I can't. What satisfies your anger without leaving a big trail of destruction?

posted by goofyfoot to health & fitness (57 comments total)

Somehow, I grew out of it - but up to my very late teens I was pretty similar to your description. Eventually I decided that I felt worse after having bust something up that I actually liked, or couldn't replace...

One suggestion is to go somewhere quiet (up in the hills is good, especially if you find somewhere with a great echo) and just yell really loud.
Others advocated gym sessions, or physical sports (I used to play rugby, now I play "field" hockey).
Buy a punch bag?

Slightly flippant - why not start up a Fight Club? :-)

Nowadays when I get frustrated and narked off with something/someone, I tend to go off and play some loud (usually heavy metal) music - it keeps others away from me (which I need!) and allows a bit of an outlet for the physical/emotional energy...
posted by Chunder at 3:15 AM on August 4, 2005

Yeah, buy a heavy bag and some gloves. Make sure to learn how to punch properly, or you'll wreck your wrists.

Boxing is a great way to deal with anger.
posted by the cuban at 3:29 AM on August 4, 2005

serenity now.
posted by Espoo2 at 4:00 AM on August 4, 2005

What makes you angry? I think that shutting it out isn't a good thing, we have to sit with it. Let it be in us and not react, I know it feels like you're going to explode if you don't react. But going for a walk and breathing with it works. I believe punching things only drives your anger deeper and helps you indulge it. Anger is a good teacher it comes up at critical times and lets us know things about ourselves. Every time I think I have a handle on it anger rears it's head (last night getting cut off and following the car, what was I going to do, it wasn't about the car it was the frustration from the day that all focused on that one trigger). We develop patterns for dealing with our anger (albeit sometimes unhealthy ones) sitting with it gives us insight into ourself and creates a new pattern. Good luck it is a difficult problem check out "Tich nat Han" a Vietnamese Buddhist he has a book called "Anger".
posted by aisleofview at 4:07 AM on August 4, 2005

Breathe.

Sit down, close your eyes, and concentrate on your breathing. Keep doing this until you're calm. Then start looking at things rationally. Why are you angry? Spider Robinson contends that "Anger is always fear in disguise, always." I think I agree. If you're angry, figure out what's making you angry. From there, figure out what fear is prompting it. And then confront your fear.

aisleofview says much the same. All this 'go yell, go punch, throw something' stuff is not constructive. Quite the opposite, in many cases. Channeling your anger into working out, I think, simply sets you up to associate anger with working out. That doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Training yourself to see anger as a tool to learn something about yourself, and as an impetus for doing something constructive, seems to be a much healthier option, to me.


And, lest you get the wrong idea, this is something I'm striving towards. I get angry and punch things too.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:18 AM on August 4, 2005

See anger as the irrational waste of time that it is and avoid it all together.
posted by MintSauce at 4:24 AM on August 4, 2005

Extended competitive physical exercise. It helps if it is a martial art as well, boxing, wrestling, fencing, etc.
posted by sciurus at 5:20 AM on August 4, 2005

I find that if I turn anger into pounding the pavement, running as fast as I can for fitness, what used to be a very loud angry "RAWR!" quickly turns into a pathetic little whimpering "But... but... I didn't mean exercise... that's, like, hard work and stuff. I just wanted to let off steam. Please... can we stop now? I'm tired. please?"

:-)
posted by -harlequin- at 5:25 AM on August 4, 2005

You ever see the show Six Feet Under? I'm kinda like a strait version of David, the guy who is a control freak particularly when it comes to his emotions. Usually I just get on MeFi and argue pointlessly about some inane newsfilter item. it doesn't make me feel better, but at least I'm not blowing up at my wife or ritually murdering hobos.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:47 AM on August 4, 2005

aisleofview, I think that's usually written "Thich Nhat Hanh", and I agree that his books are worth reading. It's difficult to beat anger but I find that when I make a decision to let it go it's massively satisfying, more than venting ever would be. When you can do that, you know that you're really in control and not your "inner monkey".
posted by teleskiving at 6:02 AM on August 4, 2005

As I grew older I realized most things in life aren't worth getting angry over. I used to get furious at traffic when I was driving (in Boston) until one day I realized I was getting all worked up for the sake of maybe a five second delay, or just to be ahead of somebody at a red light.

I do get angry sometimes though and I used to bottle it up inside deep down and every few weeks I let it out. Now I try to think rationally about it: "Ok, I know I'm angry and I'm in a pissy mood. I'm starting to snap at my wife and coworkers even though it's not their fault. I just need to calm down a bit because being angry like this is pointless and not very healthy."

Believe it or not, it actually works most of the time.

I've blogged my anger out a couple of times. Nothing like a bunch of "motherfuckers" on a page to make you feel better.
posted by bondcliff at 6:02 AM on August 4, 2005

Avoidance and withdrawal make far more sense to me than "acting out" rage. By giving in to anger, "healthily expressing it", I think you give yourself permission to make it worse, anger feeding anger in a downward spiral. Worse, this becomes habitual, erroding your self-control.

No, the thing that works for me is to withdraw from the situation and go do something unrelated that I find calming. Manual work, routine tasks are all ok, but reading works best for me. Something low stimulus but enjoyable. Then, later, when I'm rational, I can deal with the situation. Everybody is much happier this way, not just me, but everyone else too.
posted by bonehead at 6:24 AM on August 4, 2005

Different things work for different people... so this is a difficult one.

Reading the Tao Te Ching regularly helps me a LOT.

I also find that creative activity of any kind (painting, photography, etc) is very calming.
posted by selfnoise at 6:31 AM on August 4, 2005

I agree with the above - try to find ways to cope, find calm, and relax.

And when that doesn't work... I've turned to exercise. Boxing I'm sure would work wonders (running is enough for me now).

When I was younger, I had a destructive anger-phase. What really made me feel better was breaking pencils. I could break them without really destroying anything important and it did make me feel better (I got to destroy something!). If none of the above help (and I do think you should try them), I'd go for buying things that are OK to break (pencils, rulers, etc.) and release that way. Great bonus - pencils and rulers are OK for work, if you get angry there, too.
posted by Moral Animal at 6:43 AM on August 4, 2005

I try to view the anger as energy and try to expend it on something useful like exercise, cleaning the house, or some project I don't usually have the patience for. Anger can really make me focussed, even though it's not usually in a good way, and if I can channel that into ticking something off my long term to do list, so much the better. Sometimes I'm so angry I can't even see straight and in these rare cases I try to marshall my reserves to NOT act on it, and try to stay very very still and meditate some just to let it pass over me.

Of course sometimes I wind up with anger problems because I'm managing some other aspect of my life poorly -- staying fed, staying well-rested, keeping my stress level low in other ways -- and if possible I try to address that problem as I'm grappling with the anger in other ways. Sometimes I just cry.
posted by jessamyn at 6:59 AM on August 4, 2005

I see a some people here trying to do the good thing, and suggest you deal with your anger at a deep level with "just accept that anger is futile, unhealthy, not worth it" etc. and they're probably right (although Buddhism just doesn't cut it for me: denial? it's an illusion? that shit just makes me angrier. Maybe it will click for you, though, who knows. I just know too many Buddhists who use it to *escape*, not deal with life...).

Whether you deal with it or not, though there will still be residue anger that you have to deal with. What worked for me back in the rage-filled days was taking glass containers and throwing them in parking lots. The sound and visual display were very satisfying. Inside, if necessary, I would throw drinking glasses into the shower (better sound, easy clean-up.

The best solution for me (and alternative to getting into bar fights) was angry (consensual, duh) sex. I say this in all seriousness--S/M works like a motherfucker. It allows you to express your anger fully and the sexual element changes the destructive engergy to something positive. Or at least it did for me. Hopes this helps!
posted by ibeji at 7:05 AM on August 4, 2005

I bottle it up inside. Then I release it all at once at someone who doesn't deserve it.
posted by poppo at 7:06 AM on August 4, 2005

p.s. for balance, I'll just add that the one thing in Buddhism (and various Hindu sects and other religions) I do find useful is chanting. The mantra doesn't matter so much (i.e. say om mani padme hum or the words to a led zepplin song, you choose); the repetition, the ritual, and mostly the very physical aspect of sound created by and permeating your body feels really really good. Singing works too.
posted by ibeji at 7:12 AM on August 4, 2005

This is a difficult question to answer without knowing more about your situation. I agree with most of the advice here, but I want to highlight a couple key points:

- Age. As bondcliff points out, "anger at the world" often subsides with age. Small comfort, though, I know.

- Exercise. In the immediate sense, anger is the emotional equivalent of what physics calls potential energy. It wants release, to become kinetic energy. It's all a matter of finding the proper conduit.

- Eastern Philosphy. I'm solidly in the camp of those that think that they fundamentally "get" something about anger that we, in the West, don't. If you haven't explored it, I'd suggest yoga as a starting point. Yoga will give you the physical exertion you need, and teach you some good fundamental breathing techniques that will serve you well.
posted by mkultra at 7:17 AM on August 4, 2005

I keep it all bottled up inside, for days, weeks, years even and then let it come gushing out in violent torrent.

Well, not really, but it sure makes for a great movie script.

If the anger is not directed at someone else, but say for instance a mechanical object that just isn't working right, some loud cussing and yelling might help you blow off steam. If there are others about they will probably think ill of you though. When you can't unload because of company or your anger is directed at someone else the old count to ten before you speak (it might take higher numbers if you are really upset) actually works to help you past the first rush of adrenaline. Don't hold it in. After the first rush has passed and you are calm enough to speak logically express your anger forcefully yet with some restraint.

If this is a continuing sense of anger rather than an immediate reaction you should address the source of the anger so you don't find yourself in the situation described in my first paragraph.
posted by caddis at 7:28 AM on August 4, 2005

walk like a demon around town. bake bread for the kneading/punching part, and then the aroma to calm down. you say you can't do those things, the punching and kicking, but is there someplace you could go where you could? there's a forest behind my house and i go there sometimes when i'm REALLY angry and kick the leaves and throw twigs into the creek, etc. it's not exactly a great thing to do, but certainly not hugely destructive...maybe get a sports ball and head to your nearest part and chuck it against a concrete wall or bounce it hard on the pavement?

i've always been frustrated that there aren't designated places people are allowed to scream in. sometimes i feel like if there were only places i could go when i REALLY need to, not some muffled in a pillow crap, everything would be much easier and off my chest.

you could also get one of those low maintenance inflatable punching bags. they don't hang off the ceiling and aren't heavy, they just bob up and down.
posted by ifjuly at 7:31 AM on August 4, 2005

Gather it all up, pack it into a tight little shell; then use it to decimate what or who ever it is that made me so angry in the first place.
posted by thefinned1 at 7:38 AM on August 4, 2005

When I'm really pissed, I usually allow myself like 5 mins to curse, yell, etc. just to get myself over the desire to kill. Then I force myself to put in writing all my feelings and basically try to understand the entire situation. I'll even play devil's advocate.

I don't write as fast as my brain can process my thoughts so it forces me to evaluate the entire situation over and over again so that by the time I'm done, I am at least calm enough to not let it ruin the rest of my day.
posted by SoulOnIce at 7:40 AM on August 4, 2005

Anger? What fucking anger?
(I swear)
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:58 AM on August 4, 2005

Sing.

Honestly. If you play the piano, even better. I find music a tremendous outlet for strong emotions.

On the other hand, just listening to music doesn't do it for me - I have to be the one making the music, letting it flow out.

Writing helps, too, but it takes longer.
posted by cptnrandy at 8:08 AM on August 4, 2005

Exercise. Vent to friends. And yes, it's cliche, but blog about it. Really, anything that lets me share my anger with other people. For some reason, I feel much better if I hear someone else say, "You're right, that IS enraging!", and it often helps to write about the situation.
posted by geeky at 8:29 AM on August 4, 2005

another vote for boxing/kickboxing. it really lets you get a lot of energy out.
posted by fabesfaves at 8:38 AM on August 4, 2005

And I'm sorry, I'm really am for saying this, but these are some of the worst suggestions I've seen. Have any of you actually talked to really angry people, the kind you always see blood dripping down their shirt, who have some real anger management issues. I don't think "singing" or "blogging" are good answers. Something about telling a guy whose thrown you up against the wall that he needs to start "baking more bread" just doesn't seem right. The only ones I've seen that really help people who are really angry are the aforementioned boxing and any really competitive sport. Rugby is always a good choice.
posted by geoff. at 8:47 AM on August 4, 2005

Have any of you actually talked to really angry people, the kind you always see blood dripping down their shirt, who have some real anger management issues.

Yeah, well, goofyfoot took the time to put together a calmly-worded question, explicitly asking for suggestions "without leaving a big trail of destruction". I think it's safe to assume she's amenable to answers beyond the obvious sports ones.

Oh, and one more rec while we're at it. I feel like I give this answer to a lot of these questions, but consider talk therapy. I know people this has worked for. In addition to having a safe place to vent, you may wind up learning something about why you feel angry so often.
posted by mkultra at 8:58 AM on August 4, 2005

I draw pictures of the object of my anger meeting a terrible end, usually by falling objects or being eaten by animals. I laugh a little and then I throw the drawing away so I am not reminded of being angry. I suggest a nice fat brush and bottles of red and black ink.
posted by Marit at 9:06 AM on August 4, 2005

I had tons of built-up anger in my teens and twenties as well.

Meditation helped, but really what did it was the constant self-reminders that anger doesn't -have- to go anywhere. It's not a physical object that has to find a place. It can just be released with the realization that things really don't matter that much in the larger scale of things. I'm not talking suppression...I'm talking about just letting it go.
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:09 AM on August 4, 2005

I like to feed birds. I have chickadees, titmouse, cardinals, woodpeckers, and a few finches. And then the morning doves show up, and chase them all away. I cope with my anger by shooting the morning doves. Then all the nice non-bullying birds return.
Sometimes I will also sneak up on a sleeping cat and make a loud "ffffffffff" noise. That helps too, and with no permanent damage to the cat.
I work very hard to turn anger, which is a negative energy; into a diamond of positive energy. Exercise also helps, and has many positive benefits.
posted by buzzman at 9:26 AM on August 4, 2005

goofyfoot asked what people do when they're riproaringly, destructively angry but are desperately to find a way to deal with it without murdering something or destroying valuable things. i bake bread. if you have to beat and thrown down something, dough is better than an expensive laptop.

(i assume this comment will be deleted as noise. which is fine with me. but yeah. i don't consider my answer wrong. and yes, i get violently angry. i don't much care for that being made light of, frankly.)
posted by ifjuly at 11:45 AM on August 4, 2005

ibeji writes "I see a some people here trying to do the good thing, and suggest you deal with your anger at a deep level with 'just accept that anger is futile, unhealthy, not worth it' etc. and they're probably right (although Buddhism just doesn't cut it for me: denial? it's an illusion? that shit just makes me angrier. Maybe it will click for you, though, who knows. I just know too many Buddhists who use it to *escape*, not deal with life...)."

Well, I find--as do many others--that this is ultimately a more productive endeavour. Rather than simply reacting to anger when it appears, the more you allow it to wash over you and leave, the more you understand where it's coming from and what triggers it, and the less angry you get. I'm not Buddhist, to clarify; this just seems like a much more constructive way to deal with anger than randomly destroying things, or conditioning oneself to associate anger with otherwise pleasurable activities.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:55 AM on August 4, 2005

Moral Animal's pencil therapy reminds me that when I was younger, I'd go out into the woods and break handy dead branches against large tree trunks, swinging the branches like a baseball bat. Cheaper than wasting good pencils, allthough for reasons they could't defend very well, friends objected, claiming I was destroying the forest. (It's still there.)
posted by Rash at 12:03 PM on August 4, 2005

I wonder if the various suggestions relating to excercise and in the case of ibeji's sugestion sex work because the excercise causes the release of dopamine in the system (dopamine being the hormone your body uses to control agression and make you happy)?

The Bible offers a number of suggestions regarding Anger/Wrath. Don't let the sun set without dealing with it. Pslam 4 says "stand in awe and sin not, commune with your own heart and be still". The phrase "stand in awe" is one hebrew word which means to be angry.

Proverbs says that the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God (and I know you probably aren't a Christian but the moral here is that acting in wrath doesn't help). Proverbs also indicates in a few places that Anger/Wrath should not be acted upon quickly.

As far as my personal experience goes, I'm normally pretty mellow. I did have some bouts with anger when a teenager though. I found that working rationally through the real issues and making preparations for how to deal with those situations before they came up helped. Also, simply working on developing humility in myself is was a preventative (not that I would suggest I have achieved some great level of humility, but any humility is better than none at all). In James and in 1 Peter the Bible says that only by Pride cometh contention.

Best Regards,
posted by walljm at 1:09 PM on August 4, 2005

I completely agree with baking bread, but not so much for the punching and kneading catharsis aspect.
Somehow just the whole process has a calming effect, and it might actually work to do it pre-emptively. By which I mean, if you're already so angry you can't see straight, you're probably not going to want to start a batch of bread right then, but I find if you do it (or something similar) regularly you can somehow get back in touch with your calmness and that might go some way toward defusing your anger in the first place.

I have a terrible temper myself, but I've learned to keep it from getting out of hand most of the time, usually by trying not to let things get me that upset. I know this sounds ridiculous--my mother always used to tell me "Don't let it make you mad" and I would think, let it? It just makes me mad, I don't have any say in the matter!
But you kind of do.

Anyway, this is really long, but main point = try to find something that can help you not get so angry in the first place.
posted by exceptinsects at 1:09 PM on August 4, 2005

And many of these suggestions -- exercise, meditation, baking or feeding birds or other rituals -- when done regularly, do lower stress levels and keep you from getting as angry in the future.
posted by occhiblu at 1:24 PM on August 4, 2005

The bread thing sounds like a good idea. After a long, losing session of online poker, I think I would have enough to feed a small city.
posted by wakko at 1:36 PM on August 4, 2005

You could try venting your anger against the object that caused your anger. I suspect that's what it's for... and it works well for me. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with 'dealing' with your anger by lashing out at the object of anger (yes, even violently). Shout, scream, yell, throw things, write a threatning letter, leave angry phone messages--let it out and let it go. Just don't let the anger fester and don't go to bed angry.
posted by nixerman at 1:59 PM on August 4, 2005

First of all, studies show that any type of "catharsis" will amplify your anger, not reduce it. It's not like a fluid that needs to be drained out (or bottled up), it's like an idea that can be focused on or forgotten about.

The best thing to do is forget about it. Exercise would probably help, but when you're doing it don't think about what was making you angry. Imagine yourself getting in shape, losing weight, etc. The point is to lose yourself in something totally unrelated to what you're pissed about. And exercise in general has anti-depressant effects, so you should feel happier afterwards.

If you find yourself boiling over, sit down. Relax. Meditate, chant, breath, read a book, play video games, and so on, anything that can absorb your mind and distract you from your burning conscious.

I find that negative emotions help me be creative, whereas I get lazy if I'm feeling good. So you might want to work on some creative outlet, like painting or writing or somesuch.
posted by delmoi at 2:03 PM on August 4, 2005

The best and most accessible place to scream is inside your car. With the windows closed.
posted by exhilaration at 2:24 PM on August 4, 2005

Ohh, another one I just remembered: I take it out on my Sims. You know, drown a few, set a few on fire... etc etc. Works especially well if you're mad at a particular person and you model the Sim after them.
posted by geeky at 2:28 PM on August 4, 2005

I used to be angry all the time at everything (and myself) when I was younger. I punched walls, went out to the woods to find a big stick to whack inanimate objects with, &c.

Then I went through a phase where I'd just squeeze the anger into a little knot and bury it deep inside me. It didn't end up being any good for my depression.

These days, though, I just ask myself why I'm angry and it usually comes down to unfulfilled/unfullfillable desire or something that I can't control. Once I think about it for a bit, the anger goes away and I try to either find a way to not desire whatever it was anymore, to find an alternative way to fulfill that desire, or to try to route around whatever it was that I didn't have any control over.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 2:56 PM on August 4, 2005

You can name the bots in Unreal tournament anything you'd like, then blow them up in various ways. I kill cellulite and various politicians on a regular basis. Feels good.
posted by yodelingisfun at 3:04 PM on August 4, 2005

The American Psychological Association has quite a good overview of the nature of anger and the three basic ways we can react to it -- i.e., express it, suppress it, or calm it. (There are a couple of people in my life who I desperately wish I could send it to, but I fear they'd just get angry at me...)
posted by scody at 4:48 PM on August 4, 2005

I write about it. It gives all those angry thoughts some place to go instead of just circling about aimlessly in your brain and feeding on each other. Besides, getting things down on paper or on a screen is a good way to work through the problem. You'll be better able to get some perspective and plan how to deal with the issue.
posted by orange swan at 5:32 PM on August 4, 2005

Lots of good ideas here. Whatever you choose (I'm a punching bag, Doom3+loud music, or meditation kind of guy) it's damned handy to have mutiple ways of dealing with the rage. If all you know how to do is vent in a physical manner, whether it be punching a bag or knifing a textbook, then that's all you will have. There's an outside chance that that violence will eventualy have no suitable outlet nearby, except yourself. That's not a place you want to go.
posted by Shutter at 7:40 PM on August 4, 2005

I have to say the only things that work for me are: singing along to loud music, expressing it in the most creative swears I can think of, and venting to people who understand that I'm just venting.

Despite what others have said, I find the notion of just calming myself by counting, etc. absurd. I know they work for others, but not for me. I am angry until I vent and then I feel better, then I don't care. Then again, I'm not of the group that considers anger bad. I don't think I'm the best example for anyone though, just an example that "calming" doesn't work for everyone (in fact, just thinnking of calming kinda makes me angry . . .)
posted by dame at 7:47 PM on August 4, 2005

Take a pillow and use it to beat the crap out of your bed. It exerts a lot of energy and it's not dangerous.
posted by Serena at 8:08 PM on August 4, 2005

I'll second Unreal Tournament: my boyfriend and I once went through and created just tons of bots named after relatives, exes, elementary school teachers... whoever. Then gave them unflattering looks. Then shot & giblified them with rocket launchers. Lots of fun. That and exercise (usually just walking in my case, honestly) are great.
posted by dagnyscott at 8:20 PM on August 4, 2005

I'm Buddhist, but not a teacher. I heard one recently though, who pointed out that it's too late when you are angry and then feeling ashamed after. You have to notice in advance the smaller feeling of aversion and work with dissolving it before it becomes anger.

I feel that the venting and allowing it to be inside you is bad advice, no offense. My reasoning is that you are nurturing it with all of that, cultivating it, even: "I'm justified!"

For me, it's usually when I am late on the way to something, or late finishing something that it comes the quickest. Oh, and when I wanted to do something, but was prevented from doing so by another obligation. Something in my expectation conflicts with something happening, usually by my own lack of insight.
posted by mblandi at 8:38 PM on August 4, 2005

Humor helps me. I don't mean finding the humor in life, or the situation causing anger. I mean watching comedy that makes me laugh out loud. It's hard to feel as furious afterwards. A sympathetic ear helps me a great deal too, even if it's just someone over the phone. Strangely enough, my brother laughing at me has helped sometimes. I remember some occasions when I was really angry at someone or something and getting worked up about it at home, and I guess he just genuinely found the sight of me doing that to be ridiculous and laughed out loud. His reaction always feels absurd to me, but also stops me cold.
posted by PY at 12:08 AM on August 5, 2005

I love my anger. No, seriously. The only time I don't is when it slips away from me, which it does, sometimes. I'm working on that. But mostly I think it's good to be angry, sometimes, if you can channel it into doing something non-destructive.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:26 AM on August 5, 2005

I second stavrosthewonderchicken. Though it can lead to unhealthy behavior, never forget that anger can also save you--drive you out of dangerous complacency, depression, or fear. Anger can be an expression of your strength--this is very important. Some may think it is a lesser expression, but this depends on who you are and what you do with it. Some of us prefer a little Malcolm X with our Martin Luther King Jr. That's just how it goes.

When [people] get angry, they bring about a change. (malcolm x)



posted by ibeji at 6:35 AM on August 5, 2005 [1 favorite]

What a response. Right after posting, I got into bed with Persuasion by Jane Austen, and did nothing but read and sleep until an hour ago. I guess that's a calming reaction. But I've been told that anger turned inward is depression.

I've thrown plates against a hard backdrop at a festival; and fired bb's at a blanket-draped fence; and sang like a fiend when I had a car; and blasted music. I've helped bring about political change (tho that's a very different sort of anger).

[The catalyst for the question was family indifference and antipathy to a dying person.]
posted by goofyfoot at 2:54 PM on August 5, 2005

I think the "anger turned inward is depression" means more that getting angry AT yourself is bad.
posted by occhiblu at 9:45 AM on August 8, 2005