How long is too long to use major life trauma as an excuse?
August 1, 2012 2:31 PM Subscribe
How long is too long to use major life trauma as an excuse for everything in my life falling apart?
posted by Cat Pie Hurts to human relations (39 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I lost my mom 2 months ago today. I flew home in a daze, not really knowing how to process things. Mom and I had a very complicated relationship, but we were surprisingly close and we both knew that we loved each other. The story behind her death is long and sad, so I won't go into it here. Needless to say, it's been an awful 7-8 months.
The day after I got home, I was feeling pain in my knee. The next day, I'm in the ER screaming for painkillers. Turns out that I had ruptured my quadricep tendon. Ouch. Surgery happened the next morning. The next day, I'm all sewn up, packed into a full leg brace and sent home on crutches.
I should also mention that, in December, I decided that I wanted to go back to school after over 20 years after dropping out to finish my degree. Classes started in May, so on top my mom and my leg, I've also been taking classes (summer session, so they're condensed and frankly, more intense than I expected).
Since all of this has happened, I've become very flaky (well, flakier than usual). I find it very difficult to keep my apartment clean. I'm having a lot of trouble concentrating at work, and all of my projects have fallen behind. As for classes, I finished my first class last week. Somehow, I got an A. My second class isn't going as well. Every paper has been late. I can barely write because I can't get my thoughts together.
My boss is noticing the quality of my work dropping. My professor is pissed that all of my work is late. I'm not normally like this. I'm still dealing with all of the emotional fallout from my mom's death. And the leg surgery has screwed me up physically. I go home every night and just crawl into bed because I'm having a tough time dealing with the world in general. I KNOW it will all pass, but how long is reasonable to keep using my mom and my leg as an excuse for not living my life the way I should be?
tl;dr: Mom died two months ago. Surprise leg surgery immediately after. Work, school and general life performance have dropped significantly. I blame the traumatic events. How long is too long?