Shadowy names?
June 25, 2012 5:13 PM Subscribe
What are some obliquely named bureaucracies, organizations, and companies?
I'm looking for real and fictional names of governmental departments, various bureaucracies, shadowy organizations, and private or public companies that have non-specific yet vaguely threatning or 'mysterious' names. Names that give a small hint as to what they do, but cover much more.
One example would be The Office of Intelligence and Counterintelligence, a real organization.
Another would be the Umbrella Corporation or Massive Dynamic.
I'm looking for real and fictional names of governmental departments, various bureaucracies, shadowy organizations, and private or public companies that have non-specific yet vaguely threatning or 'mysterious' names. Names that give a small hint as to what they do, but cover much more.
One example would be The Office of Intelligence and Counterintelligence, a real organization.
Another would be the Umbrella Corporation or Massive Dynamic.
The Foundation for a Better Life (I dunno, I find that creepy although I've never been able to actually disagree with any of their billboards.)
posted by restless_nomad at 5:18 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by restless_nomad at 5:18 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
My favorite has always been the General Services Administration.
posted by Drastic at 5:21 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by Drastic at 5:21 PM on June 25, 2012
Excel Specialty Corporation is an abandoned sign on a building near me. It has always struck me as one of those vaguely threatening names, although I think in real life "Specialty corporation" is a common business-type in construction.
posted by bleep at 5:26 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by bleep at 5:26 PM on June 25, 2012
Best answer: Acxiom Corp: The 'faceless organization that knows everything about you'
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:35 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:35 PM on June 25, 2012
Samizdata, from Samizdat, is my favourite example of this.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:43 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by DarlingBri at 5:43 PM on June 25, 2012
Best answer: The Summer Institute of Linguistics is a missionary organisation that was given a secular academic name in order to gain access to Latin American countries.
posted by nomis at 5:47 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by nomis at 5:47 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
I worked for a while at a company which was doing contract work for NSA. First day I started there, I was told that we were never to use that name. Our customer was always to be referred to as "Fort Meade". (To this day I don't know what they thought they were accomplishing by doing that.)
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 5:52 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 5:52 PM on June 25, 2012
There actually was a SMERSH that the James Bond version is loosely based upon.
posted by porpoise at 5:53 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by porpoise at 5:53 PM on June 25, 2012
The huge evil medical company in "Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy" was named RORITOR.
posted by hermitosis at 5:59 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by hermitosis at 5:59 PM on June 25, 2012
I've always thought that the Project for the New American Century sounded creepy/dystopian.
posted by Mr Mister at 6:07 PM on June 25, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by Mr Mister at 6:07 PM on June 25, 2012 [2 favorites]
This one is not menacing - it's just fun. Telstar Logistics. Read the About Us page for the story.
posted by yclipse at 6:16 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by yclipse at 6:16 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
Best answer: The Intelligence Support Activity, or The Activity.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 6:18 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by villanelles at dawn at 6:18 PM on June 25, 2012
Mitre is a CIA cover.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:27 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:27 PM on June 25, 2012
As long as fictional is OK, I always liked Special Circumstances.
posted by mukade at 6:28 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by mukade at 6:28 PM on June 25, 2012
Mitre is a CIA cover
What!? Mitre is a research spin off of MIT, I believe it was MIT Research and Engineering originally. I am sure that have many CIA contracts, but they take government money from any agency that will give it to them. They are not a CIA front.
posted by procrastination at 6:50 PM on June 25, 2012
What!? Mitre is a research spin off of MIT, I believe it was MIT Research and Engineering originally. I am sure that have many CIA contracts, but they take government money from any agency that will give it to them. They are not a CIA front.
posted by procrastination at 6:50 PM on June 25, 2012
Response by poster: These are all great - keep 'em coming!
posted by the man of twists and turns at 6:55 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by the man of twists and turns at 6:55 PM on June 25, 2012
The School of the Americas. The Illuminati and the Bilderberg Group.
posted by lakeroon at 7:26 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by lakeroon at 7:26 PM on June 25, 2012
You get all this at one low price:
Group 4 Falck
Wackenhut
Touchcom
G4S Secure Solutions (USA) Inc
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:32 PM on June 25, 2012
Group 4 Falck
Wackenhut
Touchcom
G4S Secure Solutions (USA) Inc
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:32 PM on June 25, 2012
Best answer: Ooh, that same company, or a related company, has even more good euphemistic names if you let your mind go to its dark places:
International Service System
Kjøbenhavn-Frederiksberg Nattevagt (Copenhagen-Frederiksberg Night Watch)
Det Danske Rengørings Selskab A/S (The Danish Cleaning Company)
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:35 PM on June 25, 2012
International Service System
Kjøbenhavn-Frederiksberg Nattevagt (Copenhagen-Frederiksberg Night Watch)
Det Danske Rengørings Selskab A/S (The Danish Cleaning Company)
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:35 PM on June 25, 2012
USX Corporation
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:36 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:36 PM on June 25, 2012
The Symbionese Liberation Army.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:38 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:38 PM on June 25, 2012
Best answer: Chicago's very own General Growth (although it looks like they're going by GPP now).
posted by centerweight at 7:57 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by centerweight at 7:57 PM on June 25, 2012
Landmark Corporation.
Xe. (Now, I think, it's called Academi).
posted by allnamesaretaken at 8:49 PM on June 25, 2012
Xe. (Now, I think, it's called Academi).
posted by allnamesaretaken at 8:49 PM on June 25, 2012
And before Academi and Xe they were called Blackwater.
posted by carsonb at 9:22 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by carsonb at 9:22 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
General Devices in lower downtown Denver. Thirty some years ago, before LoDo started redeveloping.
posted by Bruce H. at 9:29 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by Bruce H. at 9:29 PM on June 25, 2012
Consular Operations in Ludlum stuff
Universal Exports in Bond stuff
posted by juv3nal at 10:00 PM on June 25, 2012
Universal Exports in Bond stuff
posted by juv3nal at 10:00 PM on June 25, 2012
There's always Acme, Wile E. Coyote's preferred provisioner of projectiles and munitions.
posted by rube goldberg at 10:53 PM on June 25, 2012
posted by rube goldberg at 10:53 PM on June 25, 2012
Omni Consumer Products, the evil corporation from RoboCop.
(I'm surprised that hadn't been mentioned yet.)
posted by brundlefly at 11:06 PM on June 25, 2012
(I'm surprised that hadn't been mentioned yet.)
posted by brundlefly at 11:06 PM on June 25, 2012
Applied Research Center actually does decent stuff, despite having a sinisterly vague name.
posted by klangklangston at 1:05 AM on June 26, 2012
posted by klangklangston at 1:05 AM on June 26, 2012
American International Group
United Technologies
Though if you want some really creepy names, look at the top owners of your bath & body, food, and clothing businesses. You think you're making a choice between 2 cans of peas, or 2 shampoos, or 2 pairs of jeans, but it's often really a carefully regulated system designed to make you think you're giving your money to a more expensive brand, a better cause, or healthier ingredients.
There's nothing like realizing you're a cog to make that wheel suddenly sound tarnished and squeaky, like a door in an old horror movie.
posted by DisreputableDog at 1:52 AM on June 26, 2012
United Technologies
Though if you want some really creepy names, look at the top owners of your bath & body, food, and clothing businesses. You think you're making a choice between 2 cans of peas, or 2 shampoos, or 2 pairs of jeans, but it's often really a carefully regulated system designed to make you think you're giving your money to a more expensive brand, a better cause, or healthier ingredients.
There's nothing like realizing you're a cog to make that wheel suddenly sound tarnished and squeaky, like a door in an old horror movie.
posted by DisreputableDog at 1:52 AM on June 26, 2012
A comment on jeudi's link reminded me of the Kaospilots.
posted by divabat at 3:36 AM on June 26, 2012
posted by divabat at 3:36 AM on June 26, 2012
As long as we're including Acme and Omni Consumer Products, there's always the Engulf and Devour Corporation.
posted by carmicha at 6:14 AM on June 26, 2012
posted by carmicha at 6:14 AM on June 26, 2012
The US Military has many Directorates which clearly state what they do, but Directorates is mildly creepy in a Soviet Russia / KGB way....
Army Publishing Directorate
Army Cyber Directorate
Navy Biological Defense Research Directorate
Naval Systems Engineering Directorate
Air Force Research Laboratory's Human Effectiveness Directorate (!!!)
Air Force Space Superiority Systems Directorate
Coast Guard Coast Guard Acquisition Directorate
Coast Guard Enterprise Strategic Management & Doctrine Directorate
posted by lstanley at 6:41 AM on June 26, 2012
Army Publishing Directorate
Army Cyber Directorate
Navy Biological Defense Research Directorate
Naval Systems Engineering Directorate
Air Force Research Laboratory's Human Effectiveness Directorate (!!!)
Air Force Space Superiority Systems Directorate
Coast Guard Coast Guard Acquisition Directorate
Coast Guard Enterprise Strategic Management & Doctrine Directorate
posted by lstanley at 6:41 AM on June 26, 2012
Best answer: The one that I thought of immediately was the Civil Cooperation Bureau. They were around during Apartheid and Wikipedia describes them as a "government sponsored hit squad". Speaking of South Africa, some of the private military companies also have some innocuous names like "Executive Outcomes".
posted by FJT at 8:15 AM on June 26, 2012
posted by FJT at 8:15 AM on June 26, 2012
Service Corporation International, a death care firm. No, really.
posted by rdc at 7:48 PM on June 26, 2012
posted by rdc at 7:48 PM on June 26, 2012
INTER, Incorporated; we're INTER everything! Heinlein I think.
posted by ergomatic at 11:37 PM on June 26, 2012
posted by ergomatic at 11:37 PM on June 26, 2012
Response by poster: The Way Ahead Group, whose 'mandate revolves around constitutional issues surrounding the monarchy, such as the question of royal marriages to Roman Catholics or the end of precedence for male heirs '
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:27 PM on June 27, 2012
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:27 PM on June 27, 2012
Response by poster: Wells Fargo's internal trading division is/was called 'Customer Accomodations.'
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:05 AM on January 15, 2013
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:05 AM on January 15, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by vidur at 5:18 PM on June 25, 2012