Follow-up: How to talk with my 8-yr old about suicide?
June 24, 2012 11:30 AM Subscribe
Follow-up: How to talk with my 8-yr old about suicide?
In follow-up to the question here: http://ask.metafilter.com/217848/How-to-talk-with-my-8yr-old-about-suicide
So, in conclusion, it went better than we expected. We asked him to sit down with us, let him know that no one is in trouble, but we have to talk about something very important. Cuz kids immediately think something's wrong when you try to have a serious conversation.
We talked about cancer and the process of being diagnosed, and the work it takes to overcome it. He could relate to this, as a friend in school just lost one of her mothers to cancer this year.
We used that to support the angle on depression, how feeling sad is a feeling, not a condition. Just as pain after getting hit by a baseball is a feeling, but fades away. But with serious sadness that never goes away, you have to get a doctor to help you, because something is wrong inside your brain.
We explained that, just like cancer, a person who has this problem can fight it, and change. But sometimes they fight so hard for so long that hope starts to leave their mind. When that happens, it can be very difficult to get them to continue the treatments.
We then showed him a picture of him playing with his cousin (to bring the topic to reality), and explained that he had a very long battle with his depression illness, and that doctors around the world tried to help him (true), but that ultimately he gave up and took his own life.
That was pretty much it. We asked if he had any questions. He didn't have any, but saw me crying over a situation that I've not shown him before, and realized it was very serious, as he never really sees his parents cry when talking to him.
Later that day, he came back to one of us and wanted to know "how" he took his own life. We stated that it's understandable that he would want to know that, but it was a very private matter in his cousin's family, and should stay that way. He understood that.
Thank you so much, all of you, for the great feedback and encouragement. Without your view, we would have been less prepared for this conversation.
In follow-up to the question here: http://ask.metafilter.com/217848/How-to-talk-with-my-8yr-old-about-suicide
So, in conclusion, it went better than we expected. We asked him to sit down with us, let him know that no one is in trouble, but we have to talk about something very important. Cuz kids immediately think something's wrong when you try to have a serious conversation.
We talked about cancer and the process of being diagnosed, and the work it takes to overcome it. He could relate to this, as a friend in school just lost one of her mothers to cancer this year.
We used that to support the angle on depression, how feeling sad is a feeling, not a condition. Just as pain after getting hit by a baseball is a feeling, but fades away. But with serious sadness that never goes away, you have to get a doctor to help you, because something is wrong inside your brain.
We explained that, just like cancer, a person who has this problem can fight it, and change. But sometimes they fight so hard for so long that hope starts to leave their mind. When that happens, it can be very difficult to get them to continue the treatments.
We then showed him a picture of him playing with his cousin (to bring the topic to reality), and explained that he had a very long battle with his depression illness, and that doctors around the world tried to help him (true), but that ultimately he gave up and took his own life.
That was pretty much it. We asked if he had any questions. He didn't have any, but saw me crying over a situation that I've not shown him before, and realized it was very serious, as he never really sees his parents cry when talking to him.
Later that day, he came back to one of us and wanted to know "how" he took his own life. We stated that it's understandable that he would want to know that, but it was a very private matter in his cousin's family, and should stay that way. He understood that.
Thank you so much, all of you, for the great feedback and encouragement. Without your view, we would have been less prepared for this conversation.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Heya, thanks so much for the followup but this doesn't really belong in a new question. Go ahead and post this as a comment in the original Ask Metafilter post; it's still open and people who commented will see it there. -- cortex
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posted by Sal and Richard at 11:39 AM on June 24, 2012