Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.
June 22, 2012 3:43 PM Subscribe
Several years ago, my husband's close friend died suddenly. Now the friend's oldest son is graduating from high school, and his wife asked my husband (and others) to pass on some personal accumulated wisdom and memories. What kinds of things should we address?
posted by Madamina to human relations (14 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I'm sitting here typing while my husband talks, which seems to be the easiest way.
Apologies for being pedantic, but specifically, I've seen those "What do you wish someone had told you when you were 20?" threads. I'm not looking for you to tell me what you wish you'd have known (i.e., the answers or the pearls of wisdom themselves), but the questions you were asking back then.
So, for example, if you said, "I wish someone had told me how to deal with being lonely" I would ask my husband, "How do you deal with being lonely?" and he would share his 30+ years of wisdom so I could type it out.
The same goes for talking about the kid's dad. If your dad had died when you were, say, 13, what do you wish you knew about him? What do you wish you could call on later in life?
The kid is pretty cool, but slightly young and nerdy, as far as I can tell. He lives in a manufacturing town where there's not a lot going on, and is going to the local community college to study culinary arts. (For reference, another friend who took the same path is still in that town, working at a chain restaurant. I'm hoping we can encourage the kid to at least travel if he can.) The dad was a magnetic personality who drew people to him and dominated gatherings. I.. don't think the son is. His wife has remarried to someone who is pretty much the opposite, but I think they're reasonably happy.
We live several hours away, but the kid knows my husband and they're Facebook friends. (All-important.)
Any other ideas for how we could contribute to this gift would be very much welcomed. Thanks!