Help me stand my ground against my ex.
June 22, 2012 12:15 AM Subscribe
I may have to see my abusive ex soon. Help me cope.
posted by These Birds of a Feather to Human Relations (66 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
My ex dumped me after months of bad times and emotional abuse. I successfully disengaged and realized I'd dodged a bullet when a few weeks ago he contacted me to tell me he is engaged to a girl he'd met while we were still together last December. This is obviously upsetting for a variety of reasons, but now I have to deal with the prospect of possibly seeing them together at a big event he had decided he is now coming to so I "can meet her". I did not respond to his announcement and am flabbergasted by his desire to do this.
I have been looking forward to this event for a year and spent a lot of money to go to it, so I want to do right by myself and not ditch it in fear of seeing him again.
In the event that I see him and her and he approaches me (something he is sure to do since he did this to his last girlfriend after we became a couple), what can I do to communicate my dislike for him as well as my desire for him to leave me alone? A friend suggested that if the two of them try to talk to me in passing, I should feign that I've never met him before and that I'm disgusted by the suggestion that we are even remotely acquainted. I want to leave feeling happy and empowered, not anxious and nauseated like I do right now whenever I think of seeing him. I don't know that the aforementioned strategy will achieve that.
How would you gracefully but pointedly handle this kind of situation?