I found out my husband has me on a Facebook filter so I can't see his activity and talking to a woman he promised he wouldn't due to an emotional affair; what do I do now?
June 5, 2012 5:57 PM Subscribe
Husband left his computer on so I start to shut it down and see things he clearly didn't want me to see. I'm dazed and confused. What Should I do? Snowflakery inside.
posted by anonymous to human relations (23 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
Husband was arrested last night (being AWOL from the military.) It was late and I was emotionally drained so I made the rounds to turn everything off and go to bed. I notice his computer was on so I attempt to shut it off then notice he was watching porn. (I am visually impaired and the screensaver was on so I had no idea.) This is significant to me because we haven't had sex in several years because he is always uninterested. Then I did something awful: I saw his email was open so I looked. (Yes, I know it serves me right.) I saw that not only is he in occasional contact with a woman with whom he had an internet/emotional affair three years ago and promised never to contact again but it also seems he has me on a filter on Facebook so I can't see 99% of his activity. (He had another internet/emotional affair 7 or 8 years ago with a different woman.)
We both have issues from depression and childhood trauma. I have been in therapy off and on but he refuses. We have been together for over ten years after being introduced by a friend on the internet.
I am confused and scared with no idea what to do now. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? What would you do?