Picture this... a rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire, my little wife massaging my feet...
May 18, 2012 4:35 PM Subscribe
I want to get into the (non-PC) male mind. What is the male ideal of a perfect marriage - one where he is the "king of his castle"?
I've been really curious lately about what men want in a fantasy marriage. I'm not talking about necessarily realistic expectations, but perfect world scenarios...more like a man-utopia ideal. Actually, I know that people have a lot of different ideas of want they want, but the specific idea that I'm trying to learn about more is the "man is the king of his castle" idea. E.g. I am trying to read more about the scenario where a man comes home from work, has his own easy chair to sit in, his wife brings him liquor in a cold glass, gives him a foot massage, he smokes a pipe, etc. I especially would like to hear men talking about this. The only real source I have right now is Gaston's proposal to Belle!
I thought it would be easy to find some websites with guys talking about this but not a website nor a blog could I find, I'm not really sure of the search terms I need. The closest thing I could think to search was mancave, but I feel like what I really want to read about is where the whole home is kind of a man-cave of sorts. Feel free to share books, links, and personal anecdotes.
It's fine if the sources are rather sexist, I'm assuming most will be and that's ok. Also, old stuff or modern are both good.
Hope this question sort of makes sense... thanks!
I've been really curious lately about what men want in a fantasy marriage. I'm not talking about necessarily realistic expectations, but perfect world scenarios...more like a man-utopia ideal. Actually, I know that people have a lot of different ideas of want they want, but the specific idea that I'm trying to learn about more is the "man is the king of his castle" idea. E.g. I am trying to read more about the scenario where a man comes home from work, has his own easy chair to sit in, his wife brings him liquor in a cold glass, gives him a foot massage, he smokes a pipe, etc. I especially would like to hear men talking about this. The only real source I have right now is Gaston's proposal to Belle!
I thought it would be easy to find some websites with guys talking about this but not a website nor a blog could I find, I'm not really sure of the search terms I need. The closest thing I could think to search was mancave, but I feel like what I really want to read about is where the whole home is kind of a man-cave of sorts. Feel free to share books, links, and personal anecdotes.
It's fine if the sources are rather sexist, I'm assuming most will be and that's ok. Also, old stuff or modern are both good.
Hope this question sort of makes sense... thanks!
This post was deleted for the following reason: I feel like this is just "tell me a bunch of male stereotypes" and it's unclear why you can't find this on your own without MetaFilter's assistance and equally unclear what problem you are trying to solve. Sorry,maybe try again next week with something clearer? -- jessamyn
Your description strikes me as something from the 1950's. The first season of Mad Men highlights this mindset pretty well. I think you'll have a harder time finding modern expressions of this idea as you've framed it only because it sounds so anachronistic.
One place to search might be among Evangelical Christians who believe the man should be the head of the household and that wives should be submissive. The phrase "submissive wife" has some currency amongst pockets of Christianity and oftentimes these individuals have an affinity for days gone by like the 1950s.
posted by helloimjohnnycash at 4:46 PM on May 18, 2012
One place to search might be among Evangelical Christians who believe the man should be the head of the household and that wives should be submissive. The phrase "submissive wife" has some currency amongst pockets of Christianity and oftentimes these individuals have an affinity for days gone by like the 1950s.
posted by helloimjohnnycash at 4:46 PM on May 18, 2012
A lot of dominant male/submissive female relationships are like this, in my experience. I don't have a good link off the top of my head (my relationship is the reverse) but I'd look on BDSM sites. FetLife groups would be a great place to ask this question. (NSFW)
posted by desjardins at 4:49 PM on May 18, 2012
posted by desjardins at 4:49 PM on May 18, 2012
Response by poster: Thanks for the responses so far. I'm not sure I explained what I was looking for so well, definitely not looking for the NSFW type thing. Really more than even how the man and wife interact, just what a guy would like his life to look like. I mentioned married life because I am specifically thinking of husbands not single guys.
So for a paralell example, if I was asking what the ultimate kid fantasy life was, I'd probably hear: never go to school, sleep in, eat ice cream for breakfast, and have a roller coaster in my backyard. I'm looking for the same thing but for the life of a married guy.
posted by chocolatemilkshakes at 5:08 PM on May 18, 2012
So for a paralell example, if I was asking what the ultimate kid fantasy life was, I'd probably hear: never go to school, sleep in, eat ice cream for breakfast, and have a roller coaster in my backyard. I'm looking for the same thing but for the life of a married guy.
posted by chocolatemilkshakes at 5:08 PM on May 18, 2012
Would ads help?
http://vintage-ads.livejournal.com/tag/men
http://vintage-ads.livejournal.com/tag/women
http://vintage-ads.livejournal.com/tag/sexism
The sexism tag is probably going to be especially useful, because it'll be about gendered dynamics (like there's one about how a good wife remembers the poker night, makes the food, then disappears)
posted by spunweb at 5:12 PM on May 18, 2012
http://vintage-ads.livejournal.com/tag/men
http://vintage-ads.livejournal.com/tag/women
http://vintage-ads.livejournal.com/tag/sexism
The sexism tag is probably going to be especially useful, because it'll be about gendered dynamics (like there's one about how a good wife remembers the poker night, makes the food, then disappears)
posted by spunweb at 5:12 PM on May 18, 2012
I don't have any websites but I know a few married couples who have "king of the castle" type relationships. The common denominating factor seems to be that the men have no responsibilities outside of work. Household chores and child rearing are left to the women. Even chores that are stereotypically male, like lawn mowing and snow blowing.
posted by MadMadam at 5:18 PM on May 18, 2012
posted by MadMadam at 5:18 PM on May 18, 2012
There are some online communities where American/USian men discuss their desire to arrange a marriage with a woman from an Eastern European or Asian country through a mail-order bride service, ostensibly because those women are more submissive/feminine. I think there is some corresponding marketing from mail-order bride services on their websites and in individual women's ads about wanting to be a homemaker, etc. That would probably be a place to look for ideas that those particular men and women have about what a traditional relationship looks like.
There's also a scene in the Cathy Rigby Peter Pan where Wendy and the Lost Boys bring Peter a pipe and slippers under the explicit guise of playing house.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 5:31 PM on May 18, 2012
There's also a scene in the Cathy Rigby Peter Pan where Wendy and the Lost Boys bring Peter a pipe and slippers under the explicit guise of playing house.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 5:31 PM on May 18, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Scottie_Bob at 4:40 PM on May 18, 2012