Conversation starters

September 26, 2011 2:53 PM

What is a good wearable conversation-starter?

I'd like to have more conversations with new people, and I figure that it would be good to facilitate meeting people with an interesting item on my person. Only problem is, I don't have any ideas, so I am reaching out to Mefi instead.

posted by LSK to Human Relations (48 answers total)

Hats are good.... Also brooches, if ou are female. I've had some conversations about brooches. A pin saying 'ask me about my x' seems like a sure winner.
posted by bq at 2:55 PM on September 26, 2011

A flower in a buttonhole.
A chunky piece of jewelry made out of something that jewelry isn't usually made out of (I've seen some lucite with computer chips in it, for instance).
A jaunty hat.
A wee hat that nobody can figure out how it stays on your head.
Most hats, actually.
A ferret, wrapped around your shoulders (live).
Holiday earrings (lights optional).
Elbow-length opera gloves.
A cocktail ring.
Political buttons.
An arm cuff.
posted by xingcat at 2:57 PM on September 26, 2011 [4 favorites]

It depends on if you're a man or woman, and what kind of group you're interacting with. Like with the developers and designers I work with, mostly dudes, some ironic/sci fi tshirt or typography themed shirt would work. With the project managers/marketers, mostly women, it would be more cool shoes, belts, earrings.
posted by sweetkid at 2:57 PM on September 26, 2011

I have a shirt that has simulated braille dots on it, with the "translation" underneath in very small letters: "if you're reading this, you're too close." I think various blindness organizations have them.
posted by Melismata at 2:58 PM on September 26, 2011

In college I used to wear a lot of political buttons, mostly pinned to my bag. It definitely started a lot of conversations with strangers. Then again, I think this would only work if you are really earnest about politics and want to engage with politically inclined strangers. Keep in mind too that this approach will often result in political arguments and not making new friends.
posted by Sara C. at 3:00 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Sweetkid: Good point. I'm male and would like to meet interesting people. I'm at a state college, and generally need a way to weed out the people who are just here to party and get the attention of those who are interesting and have unique interests or are passionate about an odd hobby.
posted by LSK at 3:00 PM on September 26, 2011

i have this shirt from woot, and no matter where i go, people love this shirt. they ask me where i got it, say they love zombies, that they feel bad for the poor zombie who only wants a sandwich - i've gotten more comments on it than probably anything else i wear. a clever tshirt goes a long way.
posted by koroshiya at 3:02 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Filmmakers as rock logos.
posted by rhizome at 3:03 PM on September 26, 2011

Some people are really into watches. So, watches.
posted by prunes at 3:03 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Fedora hats- these are just plain awesome.
LED belt- gets you noticed very easily and you'll certainly stand out!
Tiedye shirt- works for me just fine.
Mardi Gras / generic plastic beads- (if they ask about em talk about how you 'earned them' in New Orleans last year).
Random Piercings- be careful, lots of girls don't like them, but many do, so my advise is don't go overboard.
Any Cool Phone- Make sure that it is worth showing off.
Athletic Equipment- portrays activity which is very attractive.

Via (I do not endorse this link)
posted by crabintheocean at 3:03 PM on September 26, 2011

This needs a "flair" tag. How about a bow-tie? Or even just a tie.
posted by resurrexit at 3:04 PM on September 26, 2011

Make your own t-shirts. I used to design/make a bunch of shirts whose primary purpose was conversation-starting-materiel, partly designed with the hopes of attracting people of similar viewpoints to my own.

"Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" - this shirt would start conversations with all sorts, including people who took it as a christianity-positive message

"Will kill Rush Limbaugh for food" - equally effective at finding conversation-interested folk of liberal and conservative bents

"Coffee without caffeine is like sex without leather", ...
posted by nomisxid at 3:05 PM on September 26, 2011

(living) Mink coat - conversation starter and attracts women
posted by zia at 3:08 PM on September 26, 2011

I have worn pince-nez glasses for 17 years now, and they've started many, many conversations. In fact, after my first day at a place I used to work at, the VP went home and told his wife, "that guy we saw at the grocery store that one time wearing the glasses with no bows? He works for me now." I think part of it is that people engage you by looking at your face, and the glasses are already right there, and they're not a joke or overtly attention-grabbing, but a curiosity worth discussing. When people hear they're both 14k gold and a hundred years old, they're doubly impressed.
posted by AzraelBrown at 3:11 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Just wear a standard name tag that says "hello my name is...". You'll find lots of people calling you by your name, being chatty, etc.

Simple and to the point.
posted by alms at 3:11 PM on September 26, 2011

Do you speak any other languages? In some instances a flag pin of other countries you've visited/ speak the language of may be helpful. This also works for backpack pouches, however if it's overflowing with stuff then you just look ridiculous.
posted by raccoon409 at 3:11 PM on September 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

this tshirt
http://6dollarshirts.com/submit_a_design.php?view=submission&id=1281940537
would help you separate the sheep from the goats...
posted by runincircles at 3:13 PM on September 26, 2011

I would be very careful about doing this. This is something that people regularly take way too far and the results can be off-putting to say the least. If you do really want to wear your icebreaker then I recommend picking something that means a lot to you -- a silly bit of clothing isn't going to get you very far in a conversation if there's not much you can say about it other than it's silly -- and to keep it to one thing.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 3:20 PM on September 26, 2011 [7 favorites]

This Threadless shirt (currently out of stock) has been my most-commented upon shirt in a while.

Whistling odd tunes that people know can start conversations, but can also be annoying.

Why only one watch? Try multiple. But then you'll need a reason for having multiple watches.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:25 PM on September 26, 2011

I don't know that you have to go to extremes. Band t-shirts are a tried-and-true method of saying, "hey we like the same music, let's talk."

I personally own this shirt, and it's guaranteed a few people talk to me every time I wear it.
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:26 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Vibrams. I swear people stop me on the street at least twice a week to ask about them.
posted by restless_nomad at 3:28 PM on September 26, 2011 [3 favorites]

I find that I usually get conversations struck up when I wear something that's one degree classier than the event I'm attending. It's vague, but it's situational: you stand out, but you don't look out-of-place.
posted by psoas at 3:30 PM on September 26, 2011

Here are the wearable things that prompt me to strike up a conversation with dudes who come into my specialty bookstore:
Red Sox paraphernalia (I am well outside New England, so it's a novelty to find fellow fans here)
Bow ties (with appropriate attire)--I've had a couple of these lately on dudes, along with nice button-down shirt and nice pants/shoes. I always ask if they've tied it themselves, which I find an impressive level of skill & dedication.
Nice-looking clothes--Guy came in last week with pinstripe pants, but instead of white stripes on black, they were gray with shiny (not like vinyl, more satin-y) blue pinstripes. And he had a satiny brocade tie in the same blue. It was more subtle than the description, but super cool-looking. Uniforms can be really dull; I find it interesting when people manage to wear their "uniforms" but still express creativity or enthusiasm.
Tattoos that are any of the following: extremely well done, intricate, beautifully colored. I'm always curious about the process that goes into good tattoos.
Hats are good if you can pull them off. If you go with this, own it, and it'll work. Try some seasonally-appropriate hats--maybe a nice tweed in winter, straw in summer. Something other than baseball cap/fedora/cowboy hat is sure to get you noticed.

Also, a friend just got married, and instead of boutonnieres, her groom & groomsmen wore different fancy fishing flies on their lapels. Totally cool-looking, even if you're not a fisher. And you could do it on a regular jacket, too, if you're not a regular suit-wearer.

Some kind of interesting watch if you're a science or gadget guy. I've talked to people with watches powered by kinetic energy, watches that display the time in binary, and a really lovely steampunk watch (and I'm not generally a steampunk person). It'd be a nice segue into your physics or computer or whatever interest.

Seconding everyone else, pick one thing and go with it. And stick with it for a little while. New flair each time you go out might make you look like That Guy With the Flair.
posted by Fui Non Sum at 3:31 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

I have a Dr. Suess pin on a jacket collar and it's not big, maybe a little bigger than a (U.S.) quarter, but I've thought about taking it off because sooooooooo many people comment on it.

I'll wear my share of shirts and caps with various things on them, but the pin gets more comments than all the shirts and hats put together.

(I'd happened across a set of four Dr. Suess pins at Target, paid a dollar for 'em.)
posted by ambient2 at 3:31 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

I've got a couple of T-shirts from amorphia apparel that have started a few conversations.

My wife always wears interesting shoes (especially Fluevogs) . I recall being at some party or art opening or something, and someone who we had never met but who was part of our broader circle approached her and said "you always have the best shoes." So not only did they prompt a conversation, they created a reputation.
posted by adamrice at 3:32 PM on September 26, 2011

You should make sure you have a hilarious halloween costume and go somewhere where a lot of your fellow students (that you would like to meet) will be. Then later they will be saying "hey, I loved your xyz outfit!". I did that in college (remembered others' costumes and commented on them later...maybe because I was never original enough to think up a good one so I was impressed by their creativity.) Maybe you can incorporate that creativity into your daily life? Or really embrace your odd hobby/music preferences and really roll with that? And dress the part? And have magazines sticking out your bag...like Thrasher for skateboarding..etc.
posted by bquarters at 3:44 PM on September 26, 2011

I'm at a state college, and generally need a way to weed out the people who are just here to party and get the attention of those who are interesting and have unique interests or are passionate about an odd hobby.

I think wearing something odd/unique isn't going to work the way you think it is. If you want to weed out people who don't share your interests, you need to be the person initiating conversations, not trying to passively reel someone in by your awesome suspenders. If you want to attract people and get them to notice you in a positive way--attaching something that lights up or makes a noise is a sure-fire way to find party animals. You might try being really well groomed.
posted by Ideefixe at 3:54 PM on September 26, 2011

My partner and I have a whole bunch of Threadless shirts and quite often get stopped to chat about them, especially the Communist Party shirt.

This is a little out there, but my partner has gorgeous, well-maintained, mature dreadlocks (she's a tiny little woman who works in a professional context) and very often gets stopped to chat about them - either compliments by people who know something about dreads, or friendly questions from people who have always wanted to ask.

While you may not want dreadlocks, I think the lesson is to wear your personal tastes and interests on your sleeve and you'll attract people who like those same things.
posted by arcticwoman at 4:10 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Addendum: band t-shirts or quotes from the media you like has this effect (wearing signals of your interests)
posted by arcticwoman at 4:11 PM on September 26, 2011

alms: "Just wear a standard name tag that says "hello my name is...". You'll find lots of people calling you by your name, being chatty, etc.

Simple and to the point"

Absolutely. I did this for a year in college, just because I could, and the results were astonishing. People loved being able to refer to me by name no matter where I was, and I got into multiple cool conversations every single day. Give it a shot.
posted by barnacles at 4:28 PM on September 26, 2011

The point about being one notch overdressed is a good one. In the same vein, as long as you don't seem like you're wearing a costume, being anachronistically dressed works in the same way. My grandfather was shaped precisely the same as I am, so I've got a good stash of 70's clothes that a 30-40 year old guy would have worn that fit me like they were tailored for me. People seem to love it.

Also, weird shirts. I don't mean Spencer's shorts or most threadless ones, but ones that no one will ever see again. I've got a shirt with a black troll doll dressed as a baseball player with the word "AWESOME!" printed huge on the front. I don't know what it means, but it always starts conversations about why it is what it is.

A good, unironic moustache.
posted by cmoj at 4:33 PM on September 26, 2011

An unusual umbrella or rainboots. (Although this might only work for those of a female persuasion.) People LOVE to comment on my clear plastic bubble umbrella, for instance.
posted by Nixy at 4:34 PM on September 26, 2011

Also! Scarves. With fall coming up, now is the time. Scarves basically only exist to serve this purpose. I once had someone tell me they recognized me by my favorite scarf.
posted by Nixy at 4:41 PM on September 26, 2011

Get into steampunk and start making your own clothes. I'd stop a dashing young airship captain and grill him about his goggles any day.
posted by mornie_alantie at 4:46 PM on September 26, 2011

Turning the question back on you - what do other people wear that makes you think "I'd like to have a conversation with them, they seem like someone I'd find interesting"? Is it a band t-shirt, a pin showing that they care about a cause that you're interested in, or just their general style?

What are you interested in? What makes you interesting? Demonstrate that in how you dress and you're guaranteed some interesting conversations...
posted by finding.perdita at 5:05 PM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Half these things would make me avoid people but yeah.

I've got a bag with a bunch of buttons/badges on it that I always get asked about. Plus the obligatory fedora, which I'm trying to stop wearing, and the band shirts.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:14 PM on September 26, 2011

My warning would be that in day-to-day life out on the street, you are only going to attract the sort of people who find this unbelievably clever, rather than those with enough street-smarts to be jaded by it.

In any case, what you're trying to do works well in the context of an already-existing social situation, like a party. Very eye-catching shoes tend to work pretty well. The reason it works is because people want to talk to each other and really want an excuse to. What you're doing is providing them with an opening line.

You have to strike a balance here between being "guy who I want to talk to, and I should go up to him by asking him about his shoes" and "weirdo creep strutting about wearing that ridiculous thing."
posted by deanc at 5:27 PM on September 26, 2011 [4 favorites]

I have a dual-timezone travel watch, an awesome gift from my spouse, that gets a lot of comments. I also tend to buy clothes / jewelry / messenger bags when I travel, so that sparks conversation with those that have been to those places or want to visit those places and recognize the motifs. A really specific referent is always preferable to a general one.
posted by Morrigan at 6:02 PM on September 26, 2011

I buy weird t-shirts at the Goodwill that get comments from strangers all the time. The most popular one was from the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics. It said simply "I Love Math!" People constantly ask me, 'do you really love math?' I also had a shirt that said "I Like Operations" (no idea what that meant) that got me lots of weird looks and questions.
posted by Gilbert at 6:09 PM on September 26, 2011

I have always had a massive crush on Bill Murray, so I have a tshirt with Bill Murray's face on it that I wear. Always gets comments. (Duh.)

Another conversation starter was a tshirt of Elvis shaking Nixon's hand, since I love Elvis. But I lost it (sigh).
posted by medeine at 6:10 PM on September 26, 2011

I have this campaign button left over from my mom's visit to New York City in 1964. I am sure it would start a conversation or two.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:15 PM on September 26, 2011

Hats, yes. People always comment on my hats, which are pretty normal hats.

A tie or vest or suspenders, especially if you're female (I am). Anything androgynous, really, will get comments from people, although sometimes not positive ones. (Oddly I have received one homophobic comment ever, and it was during pride week in San Francisco while I was standing next to my husband; I was called a "fucking dyke!" and not in a "right on!" kind of way. In LA and *Texas* of all places, nothing but love though.)

I used to have a little cloth charm from the Kinkakuji (golden temple) in Japan on my bag that my friend had given me as a souvenir, and people asked me about it all the time. This is a good example of only wearing things that you can actually say something about, because all I could say was, "Yeah, my friend went there."

I try to avoid wearing it unless everything else is dirty because I don't generally like shirts with ~things~ on them, but I have a shirt with H.P. Lovecraft's face on it in the style of the Obama "HOPE" pictures that implores one to vote for Lovecraft because "the stars are right." I have had maybe half a dozen people, the majority of them who know who Lovecraft is, ask me about it, and then a few people just wondering who he is. The coolest was an old guy who wanted to get one for his son, because he knew his son liked Lovecraft.

It's not exactly *wearable* but carrying a book around will get people to comment on the book. I have seen guys talk to each other because they both were familiar with the author. However, I can't recommend this for women because of the countless times people have asked me about my book, exactly *zero* times has a guy ever been genuine in his interest in the book and it's made conversation excruciatingly awkward and pointless for me. When other women say something it's been because they actually know of the book or author, but I think that's happened twice ever.

People will comment on ereaders as well. I've never had a guy be irritating to me about my Kindle, so there's that.
posted by Nattie at 7:29 PM on September 26, 2011

Imaginary Foundation.
posted by oceanjesse at 7:37 PM on September 26, 2011

Given how much people with tattoos complain about random people on the street asking nosy tattoo questions, I would suggest getting a tattoo.
posted by naoko at 7:49 PM on September 26, 2011

My Chrome bag is often a conversation-starter as are many Threadless t-shirts (less so with hipsters on both counts). I have Q E D subway-line buttons on my bag and those are also a winner.
posted by mlle valentine at 8:06 PM on September 26, 2011

What Ideefixe says x1000. There's something about a well-dressed person that shows confidence, maturity, and finesse. If you're not ready for that yet (because it doesn't necessarily promote approachability), smart, ironic, unusual t-shirts are the way to go.

>Madeline Albright used to wear brooches brouches brouches (sp?!?) to signify her message at places. Sometimes she would wear a hawk when she wanted to fuck shit up.

Your instinct was right, hal_c_on. It's brooches. Also, hilarious.
posted by therewolf at 1:06 AM on September 27, 2011

I have only ever had two items of clothing that have been commented on by random strangers.

One was a Firefly Blue Sun t-shirt (by numerous Firefly fans, and once by a Chinese gentleman who just strated explaining the writing on it for me in a lift).

The other was a naval officer's jacket that I picked up at a second hand store. One of the comments involved politely telling me I shouldn't be wearing it without making some modification that I now can't recall the specifics of (taking off the rank or the country tag or something). I don't wear it anymore in case I was inadvertently causing offense to someone (lots of ex naval officers in Canberra), but it did receive more random complements from complete strangers than anything else I have owned.
posted by damonism at 3:22 AM on September 27, 2011

I am painfully shy, but I would talk to someone in an xkcd T-shirt in a heartbeat. The same goes for other webcomics I read, and for T-shirts (or pins) referencing books I've enjoyed.

The things I wear that attract comments: items of jewellery picked up on travels (I'm female, which makes that easier, perhaps); Studio Ghibli pins; a black T-shirt with black cats on it, only their eyes showing; a dark green T-shirt with a section of Henri Rousseau's Surpris! printed on it; a black T-shirt with a famous T-Rex skeleton on it.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 4:00 AM on September 27, 2011 [1 favorite]