How do you know when a dog is the right dog for you?
June 13, 2011 12:16 PM Subscribe
I've found a potentially great dog to adopt. Did you fall in love with your dog when you met him/her, or did you warm up over time?
So, after much time and consideration, I've decided that I want to get a dog. Hooray! I've looked at Petfinder, and have found a few interesting-looking candidates that might meet my criteria.
I want a dog that is not much of a barker, since I live in an apartment, and one that is older and laid-back since he or she will need to be able to handle staying home alone during the day while I'm at work. I also think it would be good to find a dog that is happy playing inside and going for walks outside, since I don't have a yard (with dog park visits and visits to friends' yards, of course). I like dogs that are not hyper or up in your face all the time, but are laid-back and that like to be with their people, to play, and to be petted. It would also need to be on the smaller end of things, as my apartment has a thirty pound weight limit.
Yesterday I met up with a lady who runs a dachshund rescue, so that I could meet a dog that looks promising. He's two year old mini dachshund, a former puppy mill/backyard breeder dog who seems to have been neglected, but is laid back and likes to be petted. The rescuer said he doesn't bark, is very sweet and submissive, and seems to get along fine with everyone (canines and people). He didn't seem timid or shy, and I think with a little work, socialization, and time he could warm up and be a really great dog.
However, I didn't immediately fall in love with him like I did my last dog. There is nothing wrong with him at all that I can see, and he is very cute and sweet. Is this a problem? Should I keep looking? In your experience, is it better to adopt a dog you logically think would be a good fit, or is it better to try to find a dog you click with and really love from Day 1? Did you "just know" when you found your dog?
So, after much time and consideration, I've decided that I want to get a dog. Hooray! I've looked at Petfinder, and have found a few interesting-looking candidates that might meet my criteria.
I want a dog that is not much of a barker, since I live in an apartment, and one that is older and laid-back since he or she will need to be able to handle staying home alone during the day while I'm at work. I also think it would be good to find a dog that is happy playing inside and going for walks outside, since I don't have a yard (with dog park visits and visits to friends' yards, of course). I like dogs that are not hyper or up in your face all the time, but are laid-back and that like to be with their people, to play, and to be petted. It would also need to be on the smaller end of things, as my apartment has a thirty pound weight limit.
Yesterday I met up with a lady who runs a dachshund rescue, so that I could meet a dog that looks promising. He's two year old mini dachshund, a former puppy mill/backyard breeder dog who seems to have been neglected, but is laid back and likes to be petted. The rescuer said he doesn't bark, is very sweet and submissive, and seems to get along fine with everyone (canines and people). He didn't seem timid or shy, and I think with a little work, socialization, and time he could warm up and be a really great dog.
However, I didn't immediately fall in love with him like I did my last dog. There is nothing wrong with him at all that I can see, and he is very cute and sweet. Is this a problem? Should I keep looking? In your experience, is it better to adopt a dog you logically think would be a good fit, or is it better to try to find a dog you click with and really love from Day 1? Did you "just know" when you found your dog?
Not talking dogs here, but when I got my kitty, I think I was pretty "kitty neutral". She was nice and sweet when we met her. It took me all of about 5 minutes once we got home to fall in love.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:23 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:23 PM on June 13, 2011
I fell in love with my dog right away, and she fell in love with me too-- sort of the mutual approval check.
It isn't always necessarily crucial, though. Did you spend a few hours with him, or a few minutes? He may have been having an off day-- tummy ache, recent feather-ruffling encounter with another dog at the time that you happened to meet, etc.
Maybe he absolutely loved you right away and he's not be a big extrovert when it comes to showing his emotions.
It's also hard as hell-- maybe the right word is actually "impossible"-- to replicate a special relationship, so when you say you didn't fall in love with him like you did your last dog, it may be that the attempt-- even if only sub-conscious-- to get those paw-shoes filled is jammin' the circuits when it comes to trying to sniff this potential new love out.
I say get a fresh visit planned on another day and see if you can get him in a neutral environment, like a nearby park, for 45minutes or such so that you can both have a better chance at an objective perspective of each other. good Luck; hope it's a match
posted by herbplarfegan at 12:25 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
It isn't always necessarily crucial, though. Did you spend a few hours with him, or a few minutes? He may have been having an off day-- tummy ache, recent feather-ruffling encounter with another dog at the time that you happened to meet, etc.
Maybe he absolutely loved you right away and he's not be a big extrovert when it comes to showing his emotions.
It's also hard as hell-- maybe the right word is actually "impossible"-- to replicate a special relationship, so when you say you didn't fall in love with him like you did your last dog, it may be that the attempt-- even if only sub-conscious-- to get those paw-shoes filled is jammin' the circuits when it comes to trying to sniff this potential new love out.
I say get a fresh visit planned on another day and see if you can get him in a neutral environment, like a nearby park, for 45minutes or such so that you can both have a better chance at an objective perspective of each other. good Luck; hope it's a match
posted by herbplarfegan at 12:25 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
I loved my dog, who just passed away, to the maximum capacity I personally have to love anything or anyone. When I first got him though, when I was a kid, it hadn't developed yet. I was happy and excited when we brought him home, and I was glad we had him, but I still remember thinking, "I just don't love him like I loved Frosty." Frosty was my guinea pig who had just died. It didn't take long to start developing though.
posted by Ashley801 at 12:26 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by Ashley801 at 12:26 PM on June 13, 2011
I adopted my first dog only because she was to be put down in the morning. She was too big and too young for me, but I was determined I would find her a home. I fell absolutely in love with that dog and had her for over 14 years, until she died.
My second dog I felt no connection with, but it was the same story...he was a big middle aged german shepard that was not going to get adopted, so I figured I would do my best.He was a truly awesome dog, and I loved him to bits.
Neither of these dogs were the dog I thought I was looking for, but I'm so happy I chose them.
The connection happens, don't worry. You will fall in love with your new dog and you'll be glad you chose him.
posted by newpotato at 12:28 PM on June 13, 2011
My second dog I felt no connection with, but it was the same story...he was a big middle aged german shepard that was not going to get adopted, so I figured I would do my best.He was a truly awesome dog, and I loved him to bits.
Neither of these dogs were the dog I thought I was looking for, but I'm so happy I chose them.
The connection happens, don't worry. You will fall in love with your new dog and you'll be glad you chose him.
posted by newpotato at 12:28 PM on June 13, 2011
Also, with one of the dogs I'm fostering right now -- we brought him out of the shelter where he was on the euthanasia list. When they handed me his leash, he was completely disinterested in me, didn't look at me, didn't smell me, didn't acknowledge me at all, just pulled me around sniffing other things. Stood rigid when we petted him. It's a little depressing when it feels like the dog also feels no connection to you and doesn't like you. That was 2.5 months ago. Now he goes crazy when he sees me, and if I'm inside the house and he's outside, he stares at me through the window wagging his tail, if I go around to different rooms, he follows around to those windows to watch me. It takes time for them too.
posted by Ashley801 at 12:31 PM on June 13, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by Ashley801 at 12:31 PM on June 13, 2011 [5 favorites]
The wonderful people at the local pet rescue did an amazing job of matching my family up with our dog. He is not the dog I would have chosen. I was looking for a smaller, cuter dog. We walked 2 or 3 dogs, then the volunteer "strongly suggested" that we take Rocko out for a walk so we did. We liked him, he liked us, but we weren't head over heels for a few days. They really felt like he would be a great fit for us and we trusted them. They were totally right on target!
posted by Ochre,Hugh at 12:32 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by Ochre,Hugh at 12:32 PM on June 13, 2011
I adopted a dachshund as a surprise for my husband from a pet rescue shelter far away from our home. I didn't really like the dog; I had always been against purebred animals. But she was sweet and needed a home. My husband grew up with a pack of dachshunds and had been missing them; this was going to be his 30th birthday present.
Well, the dog fell in love with me instead of my husband (it may have been the 3 hour car trip we spent together, alone back to our home). And my hardened heart took very little time to begin adoring the little purebred dog back. I didn't want to let her sleep in the bed, but now she scurries under the covers to curl up beside me every night. I didn't want us to turn into "dog people," but now we take Tinker everywhere we go (outside of work). We're training her to go kayaking with us too because it breaks my heart to leave her alone on the weekend.
Dachshunds are great little pups. Stubborn as the dickens, but just wait to see how much they try to please you. Loads of personality, cuddle bugs to the nth degree. I have full confidence you wouldn't regret adopting the little guy.
posted by Kronur at 12:32 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Well, the dog fell in love with me instead of my husband (it may have been the 3 hour car trip we spent together, alone back to our home). And my hardened heart took very little time to begin adoring the little purebred dog back. I didn't want to let her sleep in the bed, but now she scurries under the covers to curl up beside me every night. I didn't want us to turn into "dog people," but now we take Tinker everywhere we go (outside of work). We're training her to go kayaking with us too because it breaks my heart to leave her alone on the weekend.
Dachshunds are great little pups. Stubborn as the dickens, but just wait to see how much they try to please you. Loads of personality, cuddle bugs to the nth degree. I have full confidence you wouldn't regret adopting the little guy.
posted by Kronur at 12:32 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
This just happened with my parents! They met a dog that my mom immediately fell in love with, and my dad was kind of neutral about and they didn't get him--but after a few days of my mom really wanting to go back for him, they did, even though my dad never wanted a small dog and wasn't really interested. I'm not kidding, I happened to call while they were in the parking lot from picking him up, and my dad started telling me like "Oh, he just lay down in the backseat and he's so cute!" I could hear the light in his voice and he's now just as in love as my mom is. So neutral first impressions don't always matter.
posted by leesh at 12:40 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by leesh at 12:40 PM on June 13, 2011
Personally I would wait it out and try to find a dog who both "matches up" with your lifestyle and who you fall desperately in love with. There are so many dogs who need homes out there that you can (unfortunately) afford to be picky.
posted by ohsnapdragon at 12:40 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by ohsnapdragon at 12:40 PM on June 13, 2011
When we went to the animal shelter to look for a dog, I wasn't even convinced I wanted one - I've always had cats. Plus, I went into the shelter already smitten with another dog I had found on petfinder. After talking with the knowledgeable staff (seriously, aren't shelter folk the best?), I was directed to a different pooch than the one I originally liked. My husband and I somewhat reluctantly agreed to "meet" this other dog. The shelter staff armed us with treats ahead of time, but the dog, "our" dog, walked in, she walked straight over to my husband, placed her widdle head on his lap and then flopped on him. We were completely lost in an instant. It didn't hurt that she was super-affectionate from the word go, but we would have taken her anyway. She is the world's best pet and I can't ever imagine what we did without her. I say take the dachshund, they are such awesome little dogs.
posted by msali at 12:45 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by msali at 12:45 PM on June 13, 2011
My dog, who is truly the best, most wonderful, most adorable dog in the whole wide world, didn't really click with me when we first met. Or rather, I thought he was "just fine" and wanted to adopt him because he was on his third rescue organization and probably didn't have many options open to him, and he loosely fit my general preference of short-haired, medium-breed dogs.
Hell, the same is true for my husband. I wasn't madly in love with him at first sight, either, and of course I couldn't imagine life without either of them. This dachshund sounds like a good fit with your lifestyle, and I wouldn't take your lack of starry-eyed smitten-ness as a bad sign this early in the game.
posted by booknerd at 12:54 PM on June 13, 2011
Hell, the same is true for my husband. I wasn't madly in love with him at first sight, either, and of course I couldn't imagine life without either of them. This dachshund sounds like a good fit with your lifestyle, and I wouldn't take your lack of starry-eyed smitten-ness as a bad sign this early in the game.
posted by booknerd at 12:54 PM on June 13, 2011
My girlfriend volunteers at a shelter as a dog walker and most of the dogs she walks that seem shy and submissive only open up and display their personalities when they're out on the street for a walk. Even well run shelters are scary places for them but when they're out walking in the open air and sunlight they really shine. If you haven't taken him for a walk around the block yet give it a try and see if he opens up.
A lot of dogs in shelters also come down with kennel cough which can make them a lot calmer and reserved than they'd normally be, so that's also something to look at.
posted by mikesch at 12:55 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
A lot of dogs in shelters also come down with kennel cough which can make them a lot calmer and reserved than they'd normally be, so that's also something to look at.
posted by mikesch at 12:55 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
My little rescue dog is awesome and goofy and arguably senile, and I'm not kidding when I say it took several months for us to completely click. I wasn't at all sure about her when I adopted her but I'm so glad I took the chance. It's been almost two years now and I just melt when she curls up next to me. (On cue, she just walked up to me and rested her head on my foot.)
posted by mochapickle at 12:56 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by mochapickle at 12:56 PM on June 13, 2011
I had been eyeing up smaller dogs an the local humane society's website and we actually went in to adopt a different dog. But my husband was unimpressed and we hemmed and hawed and looked at other dogs. Then, a mid-sized, sad black dog was surrendered while we were there and was walked past us to a vacant kennel. My husband nearly jumped when he exclaimed "THAT'S MY DOG! THAT'S THE ONE I WANT!"
Three days later, I took her home with me. We weren't sure about each other (she had an unhappy life before us) and I had mostly been a cat person before then. We had to both figure out who was the alpha female in the house (me) and had to figure out all the things you need to do for a dog that you don't do for a cat.
Four years, and innumerable nicknames later, that dog is one of my favorite things in the whole world. Don't get me wrong, it took me a good six months to really figure her out (and her, me), but I wouldn't give her up for anything.
posted by jillithd at 12:58 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Three days later, I took her home with me. We weren't sure about each other (she had an unhappy life before us) and I had mostly been a cat person before then. We had to both figure out who was the alpha female in the house (me) and had to figure out all the things you need to do for a dog that you don't do for a cat.
Four years, and innumerable nicknames later, that dog is one of my favorite things in the whole world. Don't get me wrong, it took me a good six months to really figure her out (and her, me), but I wouldn't give her up for anything.
posted by jillithd at 12:58 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
We spent about a month looking for dogs at the local shelter. We met some that were nice or cute etc., but not until we met the dog we ended up getting did it really feel like a 'click' - like I could visualize actually having this dog much more than the others we'd looked at.
With that said, though, the clicking feeling was different from instant love, at least for me. It was more about potential than instantaneous affection, which I think takes longer to build up. Our dog has also changed a lot behavior-wise than she was at the shelter - it takes them awhile to get used to you too. If you have a good feeling about it, I think both of you will grow into each other.
posted by nakedmolerats at 12:58 PM on June 13, 2011
With that said, though, the clicking feeling was different from instant love, at least for me. It was more about potential than instantaneous affection, which I think takes longer to build up. Our dog has also changed a lot behavior-wise than she was at the shelter - it takes them awhile to get used to you too. If you have a good feeling about it, I think both of you will grow into each other.
posted by nakedmolerats at 12:58 PM on June 13, 2011
I adopted my deeply traumatised puppy mill breeding bitch from the shelter not because she was the dog I was most drawn to but because it was obvious she was suffering, lowest on the terribly run shelter's pack pecking order, and desperately needed to get out of there. I distinctly remember petting her in the shelter while she studiously ignored me, and thinking "Well, maybe we'll never bond but at least she'll have a better quality of life."
Within 48 hours she'd become Velcro Dog. A week later I was shedding tears at the thought anyone could hit, let alone burn, this dog who looked at me with utter devotion. She still has a lot of issues, but us failing to be in love with each other is not one of them.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:59 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Within 48 hours she'd become Velcro Dog. A week later I was shedding tears at the thought anyone could hit, let alone burn, this dog who looked at me with utter devotion. She still has a lot of issues, but us failing to be in love with each other is not one of them.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:59 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Just out of curiosity, what rescue are you going through? I got my dachsie from DRNA and i had to fill out this extremely long application in which i stated all my preferences- basically, like the second paragraph of your question. they were great because they matched me with a dog who had all the personality things i wanted- non barker, active, etc. I wasn't sure at first- I wanted a purebred male, and this was a female mutt. But I figured the people doing the matching knew what they were doing, and she seemed sweet and kinda needy, so I adopted her.
It DID take me some time to warm up to her. Partially because it took her personality a while to come out- she was stressed at first, I think. Which is why maybe it's not a good idea not to judge a dog based on the first time you meet it- the way it acts in a shelter, or in a foster home, may be totally different than the way it acts once it's established and comfortable in your home. I think all dogs have personalities and are lovable . . . well maybe not all dogs, but dachsies definitely have personalities. What detracts from that is their annoying behaviors. So I think the important thing is to focus on reducing the negatives- get one that doesn't bark constantly or chew or pee all over stuff, because that sort of thing will make a dog a lot harder to love. Once you don't have to worry about all that stuff, its hard to imagine a scenario in which you would not bond with and totally love your dog. i honestly don't think i would have been able to judge my dog's personality based on only meeting her once or twice. all of the most endearing things about her- her ability to catch flies, her love of howling along with the sirens, the crazy noises she makes and the dance she does when i'm eating food and not sharing it with her- they all came out gradually over the course of months to years.
posted by GastrocNemesis at 12:59 PM on June 13, 2011
It DID take me some time to warm up to her. Partially because it took her personality a while to come out- she was stressed at first, I think. Which is why maybe it's not a good idea not to judge a dog based on the first time you meet it- the way it acts in a shelter, or in a foster home, may be totally different than the way it acts once it's established and comfortable in your home. I think all dogs have personalities and are lovable . . . well maybe not all dogs, but dachsies definitely have personalities. What detracts from that is their annoying behaviors. So I think the important thing is to focus on reducing the negatives- get one that doesn't bark constantly or chew or pee all over stuff, because that sort of thing will make a dog a lot harder to love. Once you don't have to worry about all that stuff, its hard to imagine a scenario in which you would not bond with and totally love your dog. i honestly don't think i would have been able to judge my dog's personality based on only meeting her once or twice. all of the most endearing things about her- her ability to catch flies, her love of howling along with the sirens, the crazy noises she makes and the dance she does when i'm eating food and not sharing it with her- they all came out gradually over the course of months to years.
posted by GastrocNemesis at 12:59 PM on June 13, 2011
Yeah, we fell in love with our dog Cash at first sight pretty much. He was pretty timid, but warmed up to us the second we got him home. He really started to love us once we established a proper pecking order with intensive training a month after we got him. Most dogs love love love structure and knowing the rules.
Also, Dachshunds have a tendency to be reaaaaally barky, especially when their owners are absent. I've known a fair cross section of wiener dogs, and they are not even nearly as quiet as some larger dogs i know.
posted by furnace.heart at 1:03 PM on June 13, 2011
Also, Dachshunds have a tendency to be reaaaaally barky, especially when their owners are absent. I've known a fair cross section of wiener dogs, and they are not even nearly as quiet as some larger dogs i know.
posted by furnace.heart at 1:03 PM on June 13, 2011
Oh and I'm with DarlingBri as well, about adopting dogs who "need" it more. part of the reason i adopted mine is because i knew she would probably be harder to place than other, purebred dogs. she's had a checkered past and a history of people abusing her. it does feel rewarding to know i've given her a new chance in life, and i think she knows and appreciates it too. i think it makes our relationship more meaningful (i know, that sounds silly, but i really feel that way sometimes.)
posted by GastrocNemesis at 1:07 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by GastrocNemesis at 1:07 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
I loved my rescue mutt right off the bat, though in some ways it was love initially motivated out of sentiment/pity (he's a senior dog with a perpetually sad fuzzy face and came within a day of being put down, so I was all BAWWWWWWW SAD WIDDLE OLD MAN). He was pretty nervous when he first moved in with us, probably due to a combo of shelter trauma and previous neglect/abuse, and couldn't walk on our hard wood floors without falling over or trying to hide or peeing on everything in a panic. I was actually a little worried that we weren't going to be able to keep him (thankfully the woman from the rescue group encouraged us to give it some time).
However, once we got throw rugs to put all over the place for him to walk on (a tip I picked up from an old episode of Dogtown!), he gradually started to calm down and get accustomed to us and our other dog. His real personality started to shine through (he's actually a very cuddly, sweet, funny little guy), and two years later he's the sad-faced king of the house.
posted by scody at 1:13 PM on June 13, 2011
However, once we got throw rugs to put all over the place for him to walk on (a tip I picked up from an old episode of Dogtown!), he gradually started to calm down and get accustomed to us and our other dog. His real personality started to shine through (he's actually a very cuddly, sweet, funny little guy), and two years later he's the sad-faced king of the house.
posted by scody at 1:13 PM on June 13, 2011
(and I'm also in the camp of rescuing dogs that are harder to place, because the odds are stacked against them worst of all. I saw my dog on the rescue group website and the combo of his earnest little face and the fact that he is elderly, has health problems, and a history of neglect made me teafully announce "THAT'S MY DOG!!!!" the second I saw him.)
posted by scody at 1:17 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by scody at 1:17 PM on June 13, 2011
ok sorry just one more thing about dachshunds. i'm not sure if this is true for ALL of them, but i know it's true for many: they want to sleep with you in the bed. they want to crawl under the blanket with you on the couch. this is cute and fun for a while, and while you're awake, but sleeping with my dog in the bed is super annoying. i toss and turn a lot which means every time i try to roll over or move my legs i have to either position myself around her or shove her over. breaking her of bed-sleeping involves many nights of nonstop whining, so out of laziness i just keep letting her do it. but anyway my point is, this is definitely one of those behaviors you won't be thinking about until the dog is actually in your home.
posted by GastrocNemesis at 1:19 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by GastrocNemesis at 1:19 PM on June 13, 2011
Throughout the past 20 or so years, my parents have adopted four dogs. Each time a new dog was adopted, my dad swore up and down that he would never love the New Dog as much as the Previous Dog. Never ever. Previous Dog and him shared a special bond that could never be matched by the New Dog. No dog could ever compare to Previous Dog!
Sometimes it seems like it took him up to a year to fall in love with New Dog, and he always acts like he's completely shocked that he loves this one too.
posted by inertia at 1:21 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Sometimes it seems like it took him up to a year to fall in love with New Dog, and he always acts like he's completely shocked that he loves this one too.
posted by inertia at 1:21 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
I did a lot of research and decided on a few breeds that I thought fit our lifestyle then went on pet finding websites.
When we went down to the Humane Society I was actually there to look at a different dog. The dog I went to see was more interested in playing with the other dogs than playing with my kids and that was a turn off to me.
After I put that dog in its kennel I took a walk around the other kennels just to see what they had and saw a dog laying down in the kennel while all the other dogs were jumping all over themselves or barking their heads off at me. On a whim I took her out of her kennel and took her outside to meet my kids. She was really gentle with them and seemed interested in them while basically ignoring all the other dogs. She even let my one year old lead her around by the leash.
How well she did with my kids and the fact that she was a breed I'd researched was enough for me to give her a chance in my home. I liked her after a few days and really liked her after a few months. A few years later and I love her to bits!
posted by TooFewShoes at 1:24 PM on June 13, 2011
When we went down to the Humane Society I was actually there to look at a different dog. The dog I went to see was more interested in playing with the other dogs than playing with my kids and that was a turn off to me.
After I put that dog in its kennel I took a walk around the other kennels just to see what they had and saw a dog laying down in the kennel while all the other dogs were jumping all over themselves or barking their heads off at me. On a whim I took her out of her kennel and took her outside to meet my kids. She was really gentle with them and seemed interested in them while basically ignoring all the other dogs. She even let my one year old lead her around by the leash.
How well she did with my kids and the fact that she was a breed I'd researched was enough for me to give her a chance in my home. I liked her after a few days and really liked her after a few months. A few years later and I love her to bits!
posted by TooFewShoes at 1:24 PM on June 13, 2011
I spent 3 months vaguely looking around to see if someone would want to re-adopt Hippo the tumblecat when she first moved in. She was sweet, but I wasn't feeling it and I thought we could do better with other people. I don't know if I'd actually have given her up, but it's been a year since then and I can't imagine not having her here with me! It took longer with her than with any other pet, but she's all mine and I love her now.
posted by robot-hugs at 1:29 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by robot-hugs at 1:29 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
My husband and I adopted a dog in the middle of May. We both knew we wanted an older dog with medical issues - one that would be harder to place - but we hadn't officially started to look for a dog.
However, I was looking unofficially one Sunday, and had narrowed my list down to about five dogs locally. I was watching a video of goofball Shaggy when my husband looked over my shoulder and said, "Oh, that's a great dog. I've been looking at him too." Unbeknownst to me, my husband was cruising PetFinder on the sly. :)
The next day Shaggy's foster mom brought him to our house and he was much bigger, had poorer manners, and was more energetic that I was really prepared for. He didn't act much like an 8-yr old dog with severe Valley fever. But I followed my husband's lead when he said he wanted to go ahead with the adoption.
I liked the dog from the start, but didn't really fall in love with him until a week or so ago, when I'd worked with him enough that he began to recognize me as an individual.
posted by Squeak Attack at 1:33 PM on June 13, 2011
However, I was looking unofficially one Sunday, and had narrowed my list down to about five dogs locally. I was watching a video of goofball Shaggy when my husband looked over my shoulder and said, "Oh, that's a great dog. I've been looking at him too." Unbeknownst to me, my husband was cruising PetFinder on the sly. :)
The next day Shaggy's foster mom brought him to our house and he was much bigger, had poorer manners, and was more energetic that I was really prepared for. He didn't act much like an 8-yr old dog with severe Valley fever. But I followed my husband's lead when he said he wanted to go ahead with the adoption.
I liked the dog from the start, but didn't really fall in love with him until a week or so ago, when I'd worked with him enough that he began to recognize me as an individual.
posted by Squeak Attack at 1:33 PM on June 13, 2011
I think that, much like humans, you can know straight away whether or not a pet is one you can get along with, but that falling-in-love feeling comes with getting to know their quirks, their personalities, their likes and dislikes. true, deep love takes time to develop - it can happen faster or slower, but doesn't happen on first sight.
in adopting my dog and all three cats, I had a hunch they'd be a good match. that instinct turned out to be correct, and I went on to fall in love with each of them for different reasons and in different ways.
posted by wayward vagabond at 1:44 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
in adopting my dog and all three cats, I had a hunch they'd be a good match. that instinct turned out to be correct, and I went on to fall in love with each of them for different reasons and in different ways.
posted by wayward vagabond at 1:44 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
After many months (years?) of prodding, my ex finally agreed to get a dog. (this is when we were still together, obviously.) We drove 3.5 hours to visit a home that was fostering a litter of puppies. I really wanted to meet the 8-week-old puppies so that we could get a feeling for their personalities, meet Mama Dog, and pick the one that stole our hearts.
We met a puppy that we named Laika, after the Russian Space Dog. She was perfect. We took family pictures and gave lots of kisses, and then we had to leave. She could come home when she was 11 weeks old...three weeks would seem like an ETERNITY.
I came home and set the picture as my background at work. I told everyone about Laika. I lovingly bought puppy supplies and made an army of toys for her to tear apart. I was the most annoying expectant mother ever.
The big day came! My ex couldn't join me, so I brought along his 11-year-old son to meet Laika and help with her on the ride back. We got to the shelter, big smiles, and they went in back to get her...and came out with another puppy. 'There must be some mistake,' I said. 'Where's Laika? The one with the white patch on her lip.' It took a few minutes of sleuthing and then the shelter folks realized that they'd adopted Laika out to another family.
Of course I freaked out. Crying on the phone with my ex. I can't just take another puppy! We drove up here three weeks ago specifically to meet the right one. Dogs aren't interchangeable. I was totally heartbroken. My ex's son was good through my freakout. Finally, he asked if we could just PLAY with the puppy that they had there for us. FINE, I said. I didn't even want to look at the substitute dog. I was so mad and upset and utterly dejected.
So we took the other puppy out into the yard and my ex's son played with her for a while, and then he asked, "Can we take her home instead?"
So we did.
On the ride home, I didn't think it was fair that I was bringing a second-choice dog home when the first choice was still so fresh in my mind and my heart. Could I possibly get over it in time to bond with the dog?
The answer is YES, she's now my best friend in the whole wide world. Won everyone over. I love her to bits. I don't know if I'd loved Laika any less, but Lucy is my Canine Soul Mate. Fate brought her to me. I hate that I had to go through all of the doubt and sadness and anger to get her, but I'm so so so so so glad that I did.
posted by Elly Vortex at 1:45 PM on June 13, 2011
We met a puppy that we named Laika, after the Russian Space Dog. She was perfect. We took family pictures and gave lots of kisses, and then we had to leave. She could come home when she was 11 weeks old...three weeks would seem like an ETERNITY.
I came home and set the picture as my background at work. I told everyone about Laika. I lovingly bought puppy supplies and made an army of toys for her to tear apart. I was the most annoying expectant mother ever.
The big day came! My ex couldn't join me, so I brought along his 11-year-old son to meet Laika and help with her on the ride back. We got to the shelter, big smiles, and they went in back to get her...and came out with another puppy. 'There must be some mistake,' I said. 'Where's Laika? The one with the white patch on her lip.' It took a few minutes of sleuthing and then the shelter folks realized that they'd adopted Laika out to another family.
Of course I freaked out. Crying on the phone with my ex. I can't just take another puppy! We drove up here three weeks ago specifically to meet the right one. Dogs aren't interchangeable. I was totally heartbroken. My ex's son was good through my freakout. Finally, he asked if we could just PLAY with the puppy that they had there for us. FINE, I said. I didn't even want to look at the substitute dog. I was so mad and upset and utterly dejected.
So we took the other puppy out into the yard and my ex's son played with her for a while, and then he asked, "Can we take her home instead?"
So we did.
On the ride home, I didn't think it was fair that I was bringing a second-choice dog home when the first choice was still so fresh in my mind and my heart. Could I possibly get over it in time to bond with the dog?
The answer is YES, she's now my best friend in the whole wide world. Won everyone over. I love her to bits. I don't know if I'd loved Laika any less, but Lucy is my Canine Soul Mate. Fate brought her to me. I hate that I had to go through all of the doubt and sadness and anger to get her, but I'm so so so so so glad that I did.
posted by Elly Vortex at 1:45 PM on June 13, 2011
Personally I would adopt him but I know it takes time for me to warm up to animals (and people for that matter). It took 4 months to fall in love with my 8-yr old rescue cat. A month or so after I got her, I had a quick trip out of town and it didn't phase me a bit. Three months later, I flew to see my relatives for a weekend and spent the entire time worrying about her. Similarly I got two puppies last year from a rescue. It took me at least 7 months for me to move from "oh so cute but lots of work!" to "this was the worst idea ever!!!" to "how did I ever live without you?!?!".
posted by bluesapphires at 1:48 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by bluesapphires at 1:48 PM on June 13, 2011
My first dog who was all mine, I didn't even intend to adopt. I went to the shelter because I was too sick to go Christmas shopping, but bored at staying around my folks' apartment. I liked this Rottie, who was sixty pounds, had whipworms and had had puppies too young and was found as a stray, because she looked in my eyes in a calm and loving way, and thumped her tail hopefully. I walked her and she heeled. I went home and dragged my dad back. I called my roommate to see if she'd mind if I got a dog. I called my then boyfriend/now husband. I ran around to every other shelter and compared dogs, and none of them did that. So, I adopted her. She jumped up on the counter as I was signing for her, and the lady said "She's a Beauty all right!", and that became her name. It turns out she'd been trained in German, but beaten and so we had to work with the same commands, but in only English and only in a positive way. But she had this great willingness to please, and she had great dignity and pride and yet a decent amount of silliness. She had some quirks, but nothing extreme and was the best dog I ever had. I had her ten years and adored her and she loved me (and my husband, and then my baby) and showed it in a million ways.
I waited a year and a half after her death for my current dog. I'd started looking on CL and Kijiji and Petfinder every day for dogs that needed homes. She kept turning up, and I started a correspondence with her owners, who were giving her up for various reasons. She is a Basset Hound, then about two years old. I researched the breed. I corresponded with the owners, an older couple, for a few weeks, asking a lot of questions. She'd been raised with their grandkids and cats and another Bassett and had clicker training and was supposedly healthy, and she was being offered around because they realized they were just not up for a young dog. They'd gotten her from a backyard breeder right after their old Bassett died, and too late realized they just couldn't deal with her when they wanted to wind down their lives. She seemed perfect for us, and though my husband wasn't keen on her, my daughter thought she was fun and nice and so we went for it. She didn't mourn her owners, and she fit right in here and quickly got herself settled in.
Aaaaand...it's okay. She's just the dog. And it kills me to say that, because I've almost never not had a dog, and I know it's a commitment and I want to love her more and feel terribly guilty that I'd cheerfully sign the DNR, thinking that we've given her a better life than she had; but she's not getting our best. She needed expensive eye surgery. Twice. And her eye is still wonky, and it's frustrating that her owners lied about it. And, though I read about hounds, she is indeed as houndy as they say, and it turns out that's not my favourite personality type. My husband likes it even less. She doesn't travel well, or wait anywhere quietly. She is stubborn and even with constant training, she is leash-aggressive and walks are more like dashes from thing to sniff to thing to sniff. And she's aloof. She is in no way devoted to any of us, and she only works for food and does not give a fig for praise. She'll bolt, given the chance, and keep running. I know that's what hounds do, but it's shocking that nothing overrides that and there's no "But where's my boss?!" and that if she gets out the door, she'll keep going. One time, at my folks', she snuck out and was found fifteen minutes later over two miles away. Her barking was so loud the shelter that the police turned her into told us that if I got her right away they wouldn't charge us. I thought with enough training, love and consistency she's be a happy companion, but instead she's like a relative who's overstayed their visit.
I'm telling you this, since you mentioned it, that my dog never "warmed" up to me, and though I was ready to give my heart to her, she didn't (and doesn't) seem to want it. She's happy here, she's well cared for and she's nice enough - but she's not grateful and she's just the amount of naughty with the garbage-tearing and food stealing and "accidents" that I think that next time, I'll let the dog choose me - not me choose her. It's been three or four years now, and we are too responsible to inflict her on anyone else (not many other dog owners we know would have stuck this out); and while I wish her a long enough and peaceful life with us, I hope nothing horrible ever happens to her, because there will be no extreme measures taken.
Can you do a trial run?
posted by peagood at 2:17 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
I waited a year and a half after her death for my current dog. I'd started looking on CL and Kijiji and Petfinder every day for dogs that needed homes. She kept turning up, and I started a correspondence with her owners, who were giving her up for various reasons. She is a Basset Hound, then about two years old. I researched the breed. I corresponded with the owners, an older couple, for a few weeks, asking a lot of questions. She'd been raised with their grandkids and cats and another Bassett and had clicker training and was supposedly healthy, and she was being offered around because they realized they were just not up for a young dog. They'd gotten her from a backyard breeder right after their old Bassett died, and too late realized they just couldn't deal with her when they wanted to wind down their lives. She seemed perfect for us, and though my husband wasn't keen on her, my daughter thought she was fun and nice and so we went for it. She didn't mourn her owners, and she fit right in here and quickly got herself settled in.
Aaaaand...it's okay. She's just the dog. And it kills me to say that, because I've almost never not had a dog, and I know it's a commitment and I want to love her more and feel terribly guilty that I'd cheerfully sign the DNR, thinking that we've given her a better life than she had; but she's not getting our best. She needed expensive eye surgery. Twice. And her eye is still wonky, and it's frustrating that her owners lied about it. And, though I read about hounds, she is indeed as houndy as they say, and it turns out that's not my favourite personality type. My husband likes it even less. She doesn't travel well, or wait anywhere quietly. She is stubborn and even with constant training, she is leash-aggressive and walks are more like dashes from thing to sniff to thing to sniff. And she's aloof. She is in no way devoted to any of us, and she only works for food and does not give a fig for praise. She'll bolt, given the chance, and keep running. I know that's what hounds do, but it's shocking that nothing overrides that and there's no "But where's my boss?!" and that if she gets out the door, she'll keep going. One time, at my folks', she snuck out and was found fifteen minutes later over two miles away. Her barking was so loud the shelter that the police turned her into told us that if I got her right away they wouldn't charge us. I thought with enough training, love and consistency she's be a happy companion, but instead she's like a relative who's overstayed their visit.
I'm telling you this, since you mentioned it, that my dog never "warmed" up to me, and though I was ready to give my heart to her, she didn't (and doesn't) seem to want it. She's happy here, she's well cared for and she's nice enough - but she's not grateful and she's just the amount of naughty with the garbage-tearing and food stealing and "accidents" that I think that next time, I'll let the dog choose me - not me choose her. It's been three or four years now, and we are too responsible to inflict her on anyone else (not many other dog owners we know would have stuck this out); and while I wish her a long enough and peaceful life with us, I hope nothing horrible ever happens to her, because there will be no extreme measures taken.
Can you do a trial run?
posted by peagood at 2:17 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Is there a chance you can foster him for a week and see if you two feel like you might be a fit? You might not fall in love in that week, but you're gut will know what you want to do when you have to return him - pang of sadness or relief.
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 2:20 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 2:20 PM on June 13, 2011
Sometimes it does take time.
Charlie was our second dog. I wasn't interested in getting another dog, because we lived in an 800 sqft house at the time. My wife coaxed me into going to the animal shelter with her, where she promptly chose Charlie, who was the most pathetic, bony-ribbed thing you've ever seen. He was scheduled for termination the next day, so of course he came home with Mrs. Bleeding Heart and myself.
For the first couple of weeks I found him particularly annoying because he hadn't been neutered and would walk around and pee on everything. My wife had to follow him around with paper towels. (You wanted this dog, you clean it up!) I was on the verge of taking him back to the shelter.
But we got him neutered, which took care of him marking everything, and over time, he bonded to me. I couldn't leave a room without him following me. If I got upset, he would walk over and try to snuggle and make things better. He became my best buddy. When I worked from home, he would wander into my office every now and then to check on me and get some pats. In the evenings he would lie on the ottoman in front of my chair and sleep with his head on my knee.
We had to say goodbye about 18 months ago, because he had cancer that had metastasized in his lymph nodes. The day we had him euthanized, I sobbed myself to sleep.
I still get misty eyed thinking about Charlie.
posted by Fleebnork at 2:44 PM on June 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
Charlie was our second dog. I wasn't interested in getting another dog, because we lived in an 800 sqft house at the time. My wife coaxed me into going to the animal shelter with her, where she promptly chose Charlie, who was the most pathetic, bony-ribbed thing you've ever seen. He was scheduled for termination the next day, so of course he came home with Mrs. Bleeding Heart and myself.
For the first couple of weeks I found him particularly annoying because he hadn't been neutered and would walk around and pee on everything. My wife had to follow him around with paper towels. (You wanted this dog, you clean it up!) I was on the verge of taking him back to the shelter.
But we got him neutered, which took care of him marking everything, and over time, he bonded to me. I couldn't leave a room without him following me. If I got upset, he would walk over and try to snuggle and make things better. He became my best buddy. When I worked from home, he would wander into my office every now and then to check on me and get some pats. In the evenings he would lie on the ottoman in front of my chair and sleep with his head on my knee.
We had to say goodbye about 18 months ago, because he had cancer that had metastasized in his lymph nodes. The day we had him euthanized, I sobbed myself to sleep.
I still get misty eyed thinking about Charlie.
posted by Fleebnork at 2:44 PM on June 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
My current cat was the scared runt hiding at the back of the cage. The volunteers said they thought they'd never get rid of her, which made me want to have a go. She was hardly friendly, but my last cat had been a loner, so I was ok with that. A few days after I got home, she opened up and has been more or less the best cat ever (except perhaps for destroying our furniture many times over).
When I went to get a rescued dog (my first) I found one online with a personality I thought I wanted. When we arrived at the kennel, the subject dog took off like a shot when the door opened, while her twin brother sat in front of me and looked up as if to say, "Ok, we can leave now." I had no chance. As an abused animal, he had some trust & abandonment issues, but I wouldn't trade him for anything.
These experiences taught me that the pet you take home is not necessarily the one you met at the kennel and the best you can do is make educated guesses about what the relationship between you will be like. Otherwise, it's an adventure.
posted by Hylas at 2:55 PM on June 13, 2011
When I went to get a rescued dog (my first) I found one online with a personality I thought I wanted. When we arrived at the kennel, the subject dog took off like a shot when the door opened, while her twin brother sat in front of me and looked up as if to say, "Ok, we can leave now." I had no chance. As an abused animal, he had some trust & abandonment issues, but I wouldn't trade him for anything.
These experiences taught me that the pet you take home is not necessarily the one you met at the kennel and the best you can do is make educated guesses about what the relationship between you will be like. Otherwise, it's an adventure.
posted by Hylas at 2:55 PM on June 13, 2011
My dog Mishmash started out with a very bad impression... he almost escaped the shelter when they brought him out for a walk and he flipped out in the car ride to the ferry terminal. I was worried and he sort of ignored me the first week. Now he adores me and I adore him. It was not love at first sight. But now that furry turd is the best dog ever.
posted by Foam Pants at 3:02 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by Foam Pants at 3:02 PM on June 13, 2011
it was mutual epic and dopey adoration at first sight. He practically clung to me like a baby monkey when I picked him up out of the trash bin he'd been rooting through, and I cuddled him despite his horrible stench. PUPPEH.
posted by elizardbits at 5:17 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by elizardbits at 5:17 PM on June 13, 2011
I liked my dog very much, but the real magic didn't happen till I'd brought him home and he curled up in the red chair and started to snore.
posted by tangerine at 5:32 PM on June 13, 2011
posted by tangerine at 5:32 PM on June 13, 2011
Our miniature dachshund/yorkie cross Charlie has been with us for three years now. He used to be my grandmother's dog, and we took him in when she passed away in 2008. I never liked him much when he was with my grandmother (submissive urination problem, plus he's barky), and even after he became our responsibility, it took me a long time before I found him remotely likable. At first I only took care of him because I knew he brought happiness to my grandmother and wanted to do the right thing for her sake. But after about 3 months I found myself beginning to like him for who he was, so to speak. I think it helped that my husband and son both loved Charlie to bits from the beginning, and their enthusiasm must have rubbed off on me.
He's still got a lot of problematic traits that I won't go into here, but I've come to accept that he might not change. And he's also a costly little furball because he needs regular vet visits to keep his UTI under control. But he's gradually grown on me and I love him now very much. I would have continued to take good care of him even if I hadn't grown to like him, but I'm glad that I feel very differently about him now. So, like others have shared above, it does happen.
posted by misozaki at 4:02 AM on June 14, 2011
He's still got a lot of problematic traits that I won't go into here, but I've come to accept that he might not change. And he's also a costly little furball because he needs regular vet visits to keep his UTI under control. But he's gradually grown on me and I love him now very much. I would have continued to take good care of him even if I hadn't grown to like him, but I'm glad that I feel very differently about him now. So, like others have shared above, it does happen.
posted by misozaki at 4:02 AM on June 14, 2011
I fell head over heels in love with my first dog, acquired when I was married. Schuyler was a mini-dachshund and I'd never been taken with any animal as much as I was with her.
Which was probably what saved her life because MAN doxies Are. Not. Easy. She was cute and she knew it. I'd say she preferred my ex to me, even though I did all the training and feeding and care-taking. She liked me a bit more when he gave her up.
I got my second dog just about two years ago, as a companion to Schuyler. Tobey is also a dachshund. I didn't care much for him when I first met him (super-aggressive barker) but I agreed to take him. We were a bit wary of each other for a few weeks but he became Schuyler's best buddy and saw me through a very rough patch and now it's me and him against the world.
He is still a massive pain in my butt.
posted by noxetlux at 9:01 AM on June 14, 2011
Which was probably what saved her life because MAN doxies Are. Not. Easy. She was cute and she knew it. I'd say she preferred my ex to me, even though I did all the training and feeding and care-taking. She liked me a bit more when he gave her up.
I got my second dog just about two years ago, as a companion to Schuyler. Tobey is also a dachshund. I didn't care much for him when I first met him (super-aggressive barker) but I agreed to take him. We were a bit wary of each other for a few weeks but he became Schuyler's best buddy and saw me through a very rough patch and now it's me and him against the world.
He is still a massive pain in my butt.
posted by noxetlux at 9:01 AM on June 14, 2011
Response by poster: Ultimately, I decided to check out some other dogs. Even though I liked the dachshund and I probably would have loved him entirely had I ended up taking him home, I thought I should look around a bit more before committing.
So yesterday I went to another rescue looking at a dog I saw online, and ended up bringing an entirely different scruffy little mutt home. He is unquestionably the cutest dog in the world, so I think I was right to wait for the "click." Oh, and here's a picture.
posted by zoetrope at 9:00 PM on July 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
So yesterday I went to another rescue looking at a dog I saw online, and ended up bringing an entirely different scruffy little mutt home. He is unquestionably the cutest dog in the world, so I think I was right to wait for the "click." Oh, and here's a picture.
posted by zoetrope at 9:00 PM on July 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
Congrats, zoetrope. That truly is a cute pup.
Unfortunately, yesterday we had to say goodbye to our old shelter pup, Annie. She was 13 years old and her liver failed. We took all her leftover food, medicine and her beds to our local animal shelter, to help out the less fortunate.
When the time comes that we feel ready for a new dog, we will definitely get another shelter dog. We had two very good ones.
posted by Fleebnork at 10:57 AM on July 6, 2011
Unfortunately, yesterday we had to say goodbye to our old shelter pup, Annie. She was 13 years old and her liver failed. We took all her leftover food, medicine and her beds to our local animal shelter, to help out the less fortunate.
When the time comes that we feel ready for a new dog, we will definitely get another shelter dog. We had two very good ones.
posted by Fleebnork at 10:57 AM on July 6, 2011
« Older Academic Articles or Books in German | Help me make the best decision about the effects... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
I adopted a very scared and shy cat almost a year ago. The shelter said his last owner had died. I wasn't super in love with him, there were cuter and more affectionate cats, but he was older and I could see he was very unhappy. Now he is the happiest and he likes to lay by me purring at all times. I couldn't imagine not owning him at this point.
Crap, now I want to go home and take a nap with my tiny purr bot.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:21 PM on June 13, 2011 [6 favorites]