How do I ask a complete stranger out while she's at work?
June 1, 2011 12:52 PM Subscribe
How do I ask a complete stranger out while she's at work? Should I even consider doing this?
posted by menschlich to human relations (68 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
Here's the deal: I'm 26 (almost 27) and have never asked anyone out. I've managed to be married (5 years), have a child, get divorced, but I've never actually said, hey, do you want to go out and grab lunch? I'm the guy who, at anything social, will be sitting quietly - alone, more often than not. I suck with people and I hate it. My self confidence is quite low, and so getting the nerve up to do anything gutsy is nigh impossible.
I don't have very many real life friends, and I don't really do much of the whole "hanging out" thing. Not that I don't want to, mind you - just that I've never really done it much and so I tend not to be invited to such gatherings.
When it comes to women, I'm more or less clueless. I'm not good at reading signs, I'm not good at sending signs, and even if I were, I wouldn't really know how to follow up on such signs. I'm really, really shy, and am pretty awful at expressing how I really feel.
Now that you have an idea of what I'm like, here's the question: how do I go about getting over my stupid hang-ups and ask a complete stranger out, while she's at work? I know nothing about this woman other than I find her attractive, and I think she looks like she'd be interesting to get to know. Just a gut feeling, really. I've never seen her anywhere but at her place of employment, which happens to be a pharmacy. As such, there are usually 10 or so people buzzing around here all the time, so the chances of privacy are more or less null. Furthermore, she's never really shown any signs of being interested - this is most likely a completely one-sided thing, and I'm okay with that.
My concerns lie largely with 1) her well-being and feeling of ease and 2) how I should act if / when (the latter is far more likely) she says no. As for 1., I don't want to do this if it's going to make her feel like crap or make things really awkward from now on (I frequent this pharmacy fairly regularly). And as for 2., consider me a 9 year old or something in regards to this. If I ask if she wants to get coffee or something, and she declines, what do I say to make sure the conversation doesn't go kersplat? "Oh, okay"? "No problem"? "Thanks anyway"? "Have a nice day"?
Bonus points if you can help me figure out what my underlying issues are, because frankly, I hate being the way I am.