Why don't I want friends?
December 19, 2010 11:11 PM Subscribe
It seems I don't have a lot of sustained interest in meeting new people or hanging out with people in general other than people I'm attracted to romantically/want to date
posted by clever anonymous username to human relations (11 answers total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
I find that I'm rarely moved to put the effort into making friends or feeding/growing friendships. I say that I like people/socializing, but most often that is fueled by or at least in conjunction with thoughts of a person I'm attracted to. For example, sometimes if I go out to a club with friends, I think about it in terms of whether I will meet someone I could date. Or I visualize a more social life together with someone I would date.
I would say that I am lonely, but I often think I'm lonely for a specific kind of company - a partner. This seems unhealthy and it does not make for happiness. In addition, I often get mildly obsessed with the people I am interested in romantically--not in terms of smothering them with attention, but thinking very strongly and obsessively about them. (Perhaps obviously, I have not dated much.) I will go to therapy at some point when budget allows, but I would like to hear suggestions and insights about this.