Are meaningful relationships the meaning of life?
December 5, 2010 12:47 PM Subscribe
Do most people feel the need for permanent, intense connections with other people? Am I abnormal in my need?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (40 answers total) 56 users marked this as a favorite
I am a very lonely person, and I have come to the conclusion that the only thing that matters in life are meaningful connections with other people. Nobody else I know seems to think this. The few friends I have (who I may be pushing away by talking about these intense connections that I wish we had, which is why I'm posting anonymously) tell me that I expect too much out of friendships, and because of that I end up with no friendships. They say that friendships don't have to be permanent or deeply intense, and to just appreciate people while they're around, and move on when they're gone.
For reasons out of my control, I don't have a deep connection with my family, and so I try to get a glimpse of that connection through friends. This does not work very well because those friends prioritize things other than meaningful friendships, even the ones who are also distant from their families. If I could do nothing but sit in a circle with my friends and talk every day for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be too disappointed. Obviously there are other important things in life, but to me it seems like at the end of the day, the only thing that matters are these connections (this can be extrapolated to very real, material aspects of life, such as the fact that our economic system encourages individuality and selfishness, and so perhaps our priority in life should be to change that). I have some really fulfilling hobbies, I spend a lot of time thinking, learning, and doing, so it's not just that I'm looking for ANY kind of meaning. it's specific.
My question is: should I just chill out and take what I can get, or am I justified in my constant search for these connections that I think everyone should have?
I have considered therapy, so it's not necessary to suggest that, unless you give me a very specific reason why, and a very specific way in which therapy could help. Thank you. Throwaway email: Anon Mefite at gmail