Logistics of a license-less carless introvert ending a 20 year marriage: I don't know where to start with my preparation.
Backstory - you don't need to read if you don't want.
Hi, it's me again. I'm leaving next year - when our lease runs out, so I don't stiff him with it. I've got the "how to find some place to live" thing down, and I'm good at paying bills and being organised including the "socking" away some cash. I do intend to move out when I tell him so that he has space for mourning without me around to make it worse. Marriage counselling was many times, and the last time several years ago, and we live in another part of the country now. I'm not really interested in more of that. I don't intend to jerk him along. This is it. I won't do the conversation in a new counsellor's office because that would give him false hope.
My problem for this question: I'm an introvert and shy. I cannot talk to people comfortably, easy and natural-like for a period of time after I meet them. So if I'm in a group environment, with friends, I can smile a lot, and get to feel comfortable and so forth, and then, you know, maybe the next time say something, or the time after that. And then I get funny, and compassionate and one-on-one people like me, and want to spend time with me, and don't seem to think that I'm an idiot.
My friends in this town are all at my place of work. I don't care for them to see me going through building a new social life. Oh no, really not. But I can't see how to build a social life where I can't talk to people the first time I meet them. No, really. Thank you, I have done public speaking (that's not the same), and I am a professional in the workplace (I have set phrases for new events - cliches if you like), and yes, of course I've read How to win friends and influence people, and David Burn's Feeling good - the new mood therapy. I've read many many more books on the subject, worked with a psychologist, enjoy the benefits of a consistent SSRI, and have imbibed for dutch courage. I just can't do it.
And now, I KNOW I need to leave him, but I'm scared I'll be incredibly alone without a security blanket to do the talking for me the first few times.
I went to a metafilter meet-up once, lovely people, and I'd so prepared so that I could talk that I felt like a total dickwad, and left early. Have never been back.
1. How the fuck am I going to date if I can't talk to people? 2. How can I join clubs and so forth, if I haven't a single thing to say?