Husbands who walk out - do they ever return?

July 30, 2010 11:45 AM

Husbands who walk out - do they ever return?

It's as simple question as that really. Do the husbands that walk out on their wives (because they are overwhelmed or whatever?) ever return? Any personal anecdotes?

I ask because I want to get back together with my ex - but fear the humiliation of returning to a house that I left in January....Do let me know.

posted by spaceandtime30 to Human Relations (10 answers total)

Sometimes they do; sometimes they don't. That's about as much actual evidence you can get from a question that is essentially "show of hands, who does X?".
posted by Hiker at 11:46 AM on July 30, 2010 [1 favorite]

Simple answer: yes, sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't.

But you know that this is anything but a simple question, right?
posted by dzaz at 11:48 AM on July 30, 2010

My uncle came back after leaving for multiple years. My ex asked to come back, and I said no he couldn't. Every situation is different.
posted by Zophi at 11:48 AM on July 30, 2010

Yes. Don't mean it'll be easy.

Whether this is possible for you is pretty fact-specific.
posted by grobstein at 11:49 AM on July 30, 2010

Men never come back if they let what other men do dictate what's best for them.

Do what you feel is right. Don't worry about humliation or if it is precedented (which, of course, it is). If you think returning and working it out is right, then do it.
posted by inturnaround at 11:51 AM on July 30, 2010

You've asked several questions about this relationship in the last couple of months. Seems like you're still going in circles. You mentioned you were getting therapy. How has that gone for you? What has your therapist suggested, and what have you already tried?
posted by Gator at 11:51 AM on July 30, 2010

Sometimes.
posted by availablelight at 11:52 AM on July 30, 2010

Like Gator, I remember your series of questions. You were crippled with doubt about this relationship for a long time. You might get more thorough responses to the present question by describing what has changed to make you want your ex back.
posted by Beardman at 11:53 AM on July 30, 2010

I don't see how knowing the answer to this question will help you with your own situation. You've made a mistake that's actually quite common with AskMetafilter: you've depersonalized your question. This may be an understandable defense mechanism: it allows you to read answers with the feeling that they're relevant to you, without having to face up to actually being judged. What you really want to know about is what to do with your specific situation between you and your ex, but instead of asking about that, you're asking about other "husbands" and "wives." You and your ex are not "husbands" and "wives" -- you're two specific individuals.

I'm sticking with what I said before: you seem to have rationally thought things through over a long period of time and decided you were really, really not OK with marrying this person. (The dealbreaker is this: “Everytime I picture the wedding or being married it’s like my heart just seizes up and every fragment of my being says ‘You’re not being authentic’. ‘You are lying to yourself.’ 'This isn't real'. 'This isn't going to last'.”) As Beardman says, if something has changed since then, it'd help if you explained what happened ... in your relationship.
posted by Jaltcoh at 11:59 AM on July 30, 2010 [4 favorites]

Sometimes.
posted by amro at 12:01 PM on July 30, 2010