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June 4, 2010 10:39 AM Subscribe
How do I help my friend recover from having his home broken in to?
A friend of mine got home from work last night to find that someone had broken in to his house and stolen about $5,000 worth of electronics and jewelry. My friend has homeowner's insurance and contacted the police, so that stuff is taken care of. My question is, how can my husband and I help our friend get his sense of comfort back?
For people who have had this happen to them, is there anything a friend did for you in the aftermath that helped to put you at ease?
A friend of mine got home from work last night to find that someone had broken in to his house and stolen about $5,000 worth of electronics and jewelry. My friend has homeowner's insurance and contacted the police, so that stuff is taken care of. My question is, how can my husband and I help our friend get his sense of comfort back?
For people who have had this happen to them, is there anything a friend did for you in the aftermath that helped to put you at ease?
Best answer: When this happened to my family when I was a teenager, there were a few things people did that really helped.
First, some neighbors offered up their washing machines -- the thieves had gone through our dresser drawers looking for jewelry boxes and the like, and my mom in particular just could not bear to think of wearing any of that clothing before washing it. They had also stripped our pillowcases to use to haul stuff away in, so the bed linens also needed to be washed. (Seriously, people who break into other people's homes suck.) There was just too much to wash in our machines, so a couple of neighbors let us come over and do laundry at their homes.
Second, other friends came over and helped clean up the mess, fold laundry, sweep up broken glass, clean fingerprinting dust off of things, and generally get the house back in order. Having other people around while we did all of that was so nice because it helped us to take our minds off of why we were doing all this cleaning.
Finally (and this may not apply in your circumstance because not everyone is religious), but our parish priest came by and said a few prayers with us, blessed our home, stuff like that. That was really the most comforting thing for my mom -- she felt so violated, and having a feeling that God was watching over our home after that violation really helped her move past it.
I do think other people brought food, and food is nice, too. If that's what you can offer, it's a good thing -- that way your friend doesn't have to worry about cooking while he's dealing with the mess in his house, etc.
leesh's suggestion of offering your guest room or couch for a night is also a good one, but the best thing is to help your friend get comfortable in his home again, so maybe the simplest thing you could do is offer to come over and hang out.
posted by devinemissk at 11:12 AM on June 4, 2010
First, some neighbors offered up their washing machines -- the thieves had gone through our dresser drawers looking for jewelry boxes and the like, and my mom in particular just could not bear to think of wearing any of that clothing before washing it. They had also stripped our pillowcases to use to haul stuff away in, so the bed linens also needed to be washed. (Seriously, people who break into other people's homes suck.) There was just too much to wash in our machines, so a couple of neighbors let us come over and do laundry at their homes.
Second, other friends came over and helped clean up the mess, fold laundry, sweep up broken glass, clean fingerprinting dust off of things, and generally get the house back in order. Having other people around while we did all of that was so nice because it helped us to take our minds off of why we were doing all this cleaning.
Finally (and this may not apply in your circumstance because not everyone is religious), but our parish priest came by and said a few prayers with us, blessed our home, stuff like that. That was really the most comforting thing for my mom -- she felt so violated, and having a feeling that God was watching over our home after that violation really helped her move past it.
I do think other people brought food, and food is nice, too. If that's what you can offer, it's a good thing -- that way your friend doesn't have to worry about cooking while he's dealing with the mess in his house, etc.
leesh's suggestion of offering your guest room or couch for a night is also a good one, but the best thing is to help your friend get comfortable in his home again, so maybe the simplest thing you could do is offer to come over and hang out.
posted by devinemissk at 11:12 AM on June 4, 2010
I'll second: go over and hang out.
Also, he might be uncomfortable with going in to his place (who knows what he might find this time?) so be available to "go through the door" even if you can only stick around for a few minutes.
posted by janell at 1:00 PM on June 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Also, he might be uncomfortable with going in to his place (who knows what he might find this time?) so be available to "go through the door" even if you can only stick around for a few minutes.
posted by janell at 1:00 PM on June 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
When this happened to me I really appreciated my friends meeting me on the way back from work and walking me home. It was winter and got dark early.
Being broken into was the worst feeling. It's really nice of you to look out for your friend this way.
posted by Ziggy500 at 3:36 PM on June 4, 2010
Being broken into was the worst feeling. It's really nice of you to look out for your friend this way.
posted by Ziggy500 at 3:36 PM on June 4, 2010
Response by poster: Thanks for the answers everyone! I appreciate that you're helping me to be a better friend.
posted by shesbookish at 5:55 PM on June 4, 2010
posted by shesbookish at 5:55 PM on June 4, 2010
I can only imagine how violated your friend must feel! I think it's great that you're looking out for him this way. Aside from literally standing by his side and being there for him, it would be really helpful to offer him some practical advice, meaning insurance - specifically home owner's insurance and diamond insurance.
posted by HStern at 12:57 AM on July 11, 2010
posted by HStern at 12:57 AM on July 11, 2010
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posted by leesh at 10:52 AM on June 4, 2010