"Pull the string and I'll wink at you, I'm your puppet"
March 29, 2010 12:44 AM Subscribe
When did you realize that you were being emotionally manipulated by a friend, family member or even a coworker? I'm curious about other peoples experiences and how it was dealt with.
I used to be one of those folks that would always give people that did not deserve it the benefit of the doubt. Of course, it wasn't until long after I'd been taken for a ride that I realized what had happened due to constantly second guessing myself and said persons motives. It's happened to me more than I'd like to admit in the past. I'm a non-confrontational person and usually cut all ties and never speak to them again unless forced to.
How about all of you folks that have had the not-so-fun experience of dealing with people of this nature?
I used to be one of those folks that would always give people that did not deserve it the benefit of the doubt. Of course, it wasn't until long after I'd been taken for a ride that I realized what had happened due to constantly second guessing myself and said persons motives. It's happened to me more than I'd like to admit in the past. I'm a non-confrontational person and usually cut all ties and never speak to them again unless forced to.
How about all of you folks that have had the not-so-fun experience of dealing with people of this nature?
This post was deleted for the following reason: Sorry, there may be an answerable question nestled in here that you could extract and ask more clearly next week, but right now this is pretty much "let's talk about x" chatfilter. -- cortex
This seems chatfilter, but I'll try to help answer the general question you didn't explicitly ask.
In a sense, we are all out to manipulate this imperfect world to fit our needs and desires...
In my experience, I have only ever felt manipulated when I have somehow allowed it; I don't think an adult can be psychologically/emotionally manipulated without his/her acquiescence.
You say you are a non-confrontational person but clearly you have something to say. I have learned to express what I feel, and the earlier in the relationship the better. Confrontation can be something as simple as stating my opinion when something bothers me ("I don't think I could ever do that."), or even asking for details when I feel slighted by a remark ("What do you mean?").
This has helped me build more personal and honest relationships, and also avoid unhealthy relationships with people who don't respect me enough to be honest.
posted by pants tent at 2:16 AM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
In a sense, we are all out to manipulate this imperfect world to fit our needs and desires...
In my experience, I have only ever felt manipulated when I have somehow allowed it; I don't think an adult can be psychologically/emotionally manipulated without his/her acquiescence.
You say you are a non-confrontational person but clearly you have something to say. I have learned to express what I feel, and the earlier in the relationship the better. Confrontation can be something as simple as stating my opinion when something bothers me ("I don't think I could ever do that."), or even asking for details when I feel slighted by a remark ("What do you mean?").
This has helped me build more personal and honest relationships, and also avoid unhealthy relationships with people who don't respect me enough to be honest.
posted by pants tent at 2:16 AM on March 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
pants tent, I am sort of hoping that that is the OP's question, because I find your answer useful! I am not a confrontational person myself, like the OP, and this has caused me to let more forceful people have their way until I get so peeved I break off the friendship.
I like your baby steps examples on how to say when something bothers you and would like to read more of how people learnt how to do this (if this is what the OP is asking).
posted by Omnomnom at 6:58 AM on March 29, 2010
I like your baby steps examples on how to say when something bothers you and would like to read more of how people learnt how to do this (if this is what the OP is asking).
posted by Omnomnom at 6:58 AM on March 29, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by emilyw at 2:15 AM on March 29, 2010