Fuck fuck fuck...

November 13, 2009 5:05 PM

My girlfriend had a rather large lapse of judgement and posted nudes of herself on 4chan's /b/ board yesterday. They found her Myspace, Facebook, phone number, address, my facebook and her family's facebook's. Yeah, it's bad...Help needed.

I'm not so much angry as I am worried about her and her family (and me, to some extent.) What can I do to minimize any damage done? So far I've changed all her passwords to long complicated strings and removed all personal info on her profiles. Same for me. Other then that, I'm scared.

I'm NOT asking for relationship advice, I know what she did was stupid, but I can deal with that later. Right now I want to know she's safe.

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (23 answers total)

I suppose you don't need to be told "She's Fucked" with a capital F for the next 6 months or until /b/ gets bored. Here's what comes to mind:

1) Immediately either disable her facebook and myspace accounts or make them not searchable. Make sure the rest of her pictures and friends list are also set to private so nobody else gets harassed. See if you can get everyone else affected to do the same.
2) You don't say whether the phone number was a cell or personal number. Either way, I would change it.
3) Come up with a damn good lie to tell her folks, unless they already know or would not be much bothered by her own volition in putting herself naked on the internet.
4) I don't think you have much to worry about on the physical mail end. Discard anything suspicious you receive (I'm thinking of printed out nudes/'shops somebody would mail to her folks to be a dick).
5) You can't beat search engines, 4chan, torrents, whatever. Sorry.
6) Keep a close eye on your credit reports.
7) Disable or unlink all of her other online identities. This will follow her around.
8) Discard and replace all IM screen names.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 5:12 PM on November 13, 2009

Oh, also, /b/ is going to read this thread. Be very careful about what you post here as well.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 5:13 PM on November 13, 2009 [1 favorite]

/b/ gets bored really, really quickly. If you've changed all the logins and passwords, and she hasn't done anything in a followup to rile anyone, they will likely forget all about it by Monday.
posted by Aquaman at 5:14 PM on November 13, 2009

Aquaman - MOST of /b/ gets bored quickly. When nudes are involved, and this much is already known, it's a safe bet her photos and personal info will be periodically reposted on /b/, anonib, etc. for a while. I don't mean to be crude, but the less arousing the photos are, the less attention they'll get.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 5:16 PM on November 13, 2009

Are you in a one party consent recording state? There's a list here (I'm not vouching for its accuracy, though). If you're in such a state, then you should look into recording phone calls in case you start getting harassing calls. Make sure to note the time, caller ID information, etc. Changing it is best, though.

If they have her family's contact information, then you (or rather she) probably need to be forthcoming about what happened so that they can take appropriate privacy-protection steps. She can probably omit details; it should be sufficient to say that she accidentally attracted the attention of a 'bad crowd' online.
posted by jedicus at 5:19 PM on November 13, 2009

I'd have her tell her family so she can't be blackmailed with it and so they have a heads-up on any weirdness. It'd be really awful for her to put them in this position and have them go "WTF" when they get strange messages out of the blue. Yes, they're going to be upset, but I'd think less so if it's not a confusing mystery for days or weeks.
posted by desjardins at 5:19 PM on November 13, 2009

What Inspector.Gadget said, with one caveat: she's going to have to sit down and tell her family. If /b/ has her family's info, embarrasing as it is they need to be clued in ASAP.

You've already checked her computer for any possible hacking, right?

Good luck to you both. So sorry this happened.
posted by magstheaxe at 5:30 PM on November 13, 2009

To be clear, OP, I don't mean you should lie to her folks and say "Everything's fine", I mean that it's probably better to say to her folks "My PC was hacked/SD card lost or stolen" than "I was bored so I uploaded naked pictures of myself to /b/."
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 5:35 PM on November 13, 2009

I don't know, inspector.gadget. I could see a lie backfiring. What if the parents insist that she report the "hacking" to the police? I think I'd just tell the parents the totally mortifying truth.
posted by craichead at 5:38 PM on November 13, 2009

There's a tiny argument for her posting a brand new nude with a message telling them that they could've had more if it wasn't for a few jerks spoiling the fun. If you get too upset, they just get happier. Act like it's not much of a big deal--and it really isn't--and then they'll get bored.

But, all things considered, the better advice is to shrug it off. Don't get too desperate about deleting information, or you might create a challenge for someone with too little to do.
posted by shetterly at 5:45 PM on November 13, 2009

I don't think you have a lot to worry about, as /b/ is currently undergoing a shitflood ddos of posts. By the time that gets cleared up relatively few people will have copied your girlfriend's contact info.
posted by thewalrus at 6:04 PM on November 13, 2009

What I wouldn't do is post about this anywhere (kinda like what you are doing right here). Best to crawl into a hole, stfu and it'll be over in awhile.
posted by carfilhiot at 6:22 PM on November 13, 2009

No advice, but you are a really good boyfriend for taking the reigns on this.
posted by pintapicasso at 6:42 PM on November 13, 2009

I think they'll probably forget about it in a week.
posted by delmoi at 7:23 PM on November 13, 2009

anonymous, you should go to the contact form and ask the kind moderators to delete this question immediately. /b/ will see this post and be encouraged to escalate. The only sane course of action is to not react at all.

They will get bored, people post nudes to 4chan all the time. Posting how much this gets under your skin on a high profile site like AskMe is a seriously bad idea, anonymous or not.
posted by cj_ at 7:26 PM on November 13, 2009 [10 favorites]

Seconding CJ here, have this thread deleted.
posted by RawrGulMuffins at 7:39 PM on November 13, 2009

cj_, it's way too general of a description to be attributed to any one person. There are people constantly being attacked by /b/.
posted by Taft at 7:48 PM on November 13, 2009

Yeah, this thread is counterproductive. The /b/tards will simply use any information posted here to make things worse.
posted by Justinian at 7:52 PM on November 13, 2009

CJ is definitely right.
posted by meta_eli at 8:01 PM on November 13, 2009

/b/ has already seen this thread. Her parents already know about this. Apparently some of the /b/tards sent copies of the pictures to her school and her parents.

Also, this has already been featured on the local TV news in her home town.

Given that her father knows about this, it seems like whatever happens will be between her father, his lawyers and 4chan. I don't think you, as a minor (I hope!) boyfriend, will really have any part in dealing with the fallout, other then (I guess) being there for her.
posted by Paris Hilton at 8:15 PM on November 13, 2009 [1 favorite]

Heh.. Stunt account posts an update inconsistent with reality if you actually read /b/, where this would be a huge hit if it were even remotely true. Yet strangely isn't.

This entire post is almost certainly a troll and should be deleted for that reason. On the slim chance it's real, my advice stands, and it should be deleted to save the OP further grief.
posted by cj_ at 8:54 PM on November 13, 2009 [1 favorite]

Actually there is a thread on /b/ right now largely consistent with what Ms. Hilton said. I agree that the whole situation seems fishy though.

If this is real I would advise the OP and anyone else involved to stop having any contact with 4chan before it's gets blown up into something even bigger.

And her pictures are going to be on the internet forever, no matter what.
posted by afu at 9:28 PM on November 13, 2009

From what I can tell, Paris Hilton has it. Also, I'd suggest she take her profile pictures off Myspace and Facebook - they're helping anyone who hasn't seen this already join the dots (like me, sorry).

Sorry this is happening to you both, but if this Askme is real (the week wait to post makes me think it might be), it sounds like it's out of your hands.
posted by crabintheocean at 9:29 PM on November 13, 2009