Name Droppings
October 28, 2009 11:38 AM Subscribe
How much should anyone, including my husband and children, know about people I know and where they've been?
I have been around and among many famous and infamous people. It gets tiresome for my husband and children to watch tv/movies, open print media and hear me say "Oh, I knew him/her, she was in my this/that, or, worse, I wanted to marry him, or she knew all about what they were doing, etc. Sometimes I just shut my mouth.
When does name dropping stop being interesting and become tiresome? Or is it always, inherently so?
I have been around and among many famous and infamous people. It gets tiresome for my husband and children to watch tv/movies, open print media and hear me say "Oh, I knew him/her, she was in my this/that, or, worse, I wanted to marry him, or she knew all about what they were doing, etc. Sometimes I just shut my mouth.
When does name dropping stop being interesting and become tiresome? Or is it always, inherently so?
This post was deleted for the following reason: This is looking less and less like a good faith use of askme. Please figure out if you want help with a real problem or if you're just looking for a place to chat, because the latter is not an okay use of the site. -- cortex
The only time name dropping is interesting is if you are already having a specific conversation that related to that particular person and when any personal insight you have would actually contribute to the conversation.
Otherwise? Sorry to be blunt, but people usually could not care less.
posted by Eicats at 11:44 AM on October 28, 2009 [10 favorites]
Otherwise? Sorry to be blunt, but people usually could not care less.
posted by Eicats at 11:44 AM on October 28, 2009 [10 favorites]
A vote for "always, inherently so", by the definition of "name dropping".
posted by fritley at 11:44 AM on October 28, 2009
posted by fritley at 11:44 AM on October 28, 2009
I thought it was awesome when my mom would point out people she knew on TV when I was a kid.
As an adult, I still think it's neat when I find out people who I know know celebrities. What's annoying is when people work their celebrity encounters into conversation every chance they get.
Example of something that would be obnoxious:
Friend: I think I'm going to go on vacation to New York City.
You: New York, where Sex and the City was set!! I met Sarah Jessica Parker at the airport one time!!
Example of something that would be fine or even awesome:
Friend: I just love Mad Men!
You: Me too! Fun story, Jon Hamm was my high school debate partner.
posted by oinopaponton at 11:44 AM on October 28, 2009 [10 favorites]
As an adult, I still think it's neat when I find out people who I know know celebrities. What's annoying is when people work their celebrity encounters into conversation every chance they get.
Example of something that would be obnoxious:
Friend: I think I'm going to go on vacation to New York City.
You: New York, where Sex and the City was set!! I met Sarah Jessica Parker at the airport one time!!
Example of something that would be fine or even awesome:
Friend: I just love Mad Men!
You: Me too! Fun story, Jon Hamm was my high school debate partner.
posted by oinopaponton at 11:44 AM on October 28, 2009 [10 favorites]
I think it all depends on why you want them to know. Do you want them to know because it makes you look more important? If so - that gets tiresome super quick. Or is there a reason why they should know you know a particular person - maybe because said person was a very fine upstanding individual and you want your family to know that even though someone is famous doesn't mean they aren't still wonderful and down to earth.
posted by Sassyfras at 11:45 AM on October 28, 2009
posted by Sassyfras at 11:45 AM on October 28, 2009
Best answer: One could argue that "name dropping" is always tiresome for people hearing it, and always interesting for whoever is telling it.
posted by Grither at 11:45 AM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by Grither at 11:45 AM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]
I am only interested in celebrity name dropping if salacious gossip is involved.
posted by something something at 11:47 AM on October 28, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by something something at 11:47 AM on October 28, 2009 [5 favorites]
IMHO, name dropping is almost always annoying. even if I find it interesting that x knew y or that y dated z...it still is annoying.
I have been around and among many famous and infamous people.
You see? Totally interesting, but totally annoying.
posted by teg4rvn at 11:52 AM on October 28, 2009
I have been around and among many famous and infamous people.
You see? Totally interesting, but totally annoying.
posted by teg4rvn at 11:52 AM on October 28, 2009
I think celebrity name dropping is really interesting. Unfortunately, the people you're actually telling these stories to don't seem to feel the same way.
posted by Jaltcoh at 11:53 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Jaltcoh at 11:53 AM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Yeah, I guess I should revise my previous comment to say that it's cool to name drop if you have a great story. For instance, my friend's dad makes expensive custom furniture, and once ended up punching Harrison Ford over a sofa disagreement or something. That's an enjoyable story. Same friend also used to live next door to another celebrity-- less interesting story and really just a fact about his life. Drawing attention to that would be like talking about the price of his pants: boring and in poor taste.
posted by oinopaponton at 11:56 AM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by oinopaponton at 11:56 AM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
I'd ask myself "would this still be an interesting story if it weren't about a famous person?" if the answer is yes - tell it. Also tell it if it's about someone that your audience is particularly interested in.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:00 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:00 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Do you want them to know because it makes you look more important?
I don't know. I think it's kind of interesting that my once boyfriend asked if his younger brother could stay in my room and I could shepherd him around--and I dragged him to a Government class and he drew a caricature of the professor, and then he went on to be the bad guy in the Jungle Book, he turned 47 yesterday, along with Natalie Merchant whom I have also met, not by my design or desire--
And how about seeing your best friend from journalism summer school accepting the Oscar for best adaptation for A Beautiful Mind, or maybe some friend of yours had the apercu/wherewithal to
coax J.K. Rowling into giving Harry over to Warner Brothers, how about that?
One starts to feel weird.) Oh, And Meatloaf sat in front of me at the New Yorker Theater, round the corner from my house. I was sixteen. He was a large, scary man.
The list goes on. I do not feel more important. If anything, I feel the lack of importance in names droppings.
posted by emhutchinson at 12:08 PM on October 28, 2009
I don't know. I think it's kind of interesting that my once boyfriend asked if his younger brother could stay in my room and I could shepherd him around--and I dragged him to a Government class and he drew a caricature of the professor, and then he went on to be the bad guy in the Jungle Book, he turned 47 yesterday, along with Natalie Merchant whom I have also met, not by my design or desire--
And how about seeing your best friend from journalism summer school accepting the Oscar for best adaptation for A Beautiful Mind, or maybe some friend of yours had the apercu/wherewithal to
coax J.K. Rowling into giving Harry over to Warner Brothers, how about that?
One starts to feel weird.) Oh, And Meatloaf sat in front of me at the New Yorker Theater, round the corner from my house. I was sixteen. He was a large, scary man.
The list goes on. I do not feel more important. If anything, I feel the lack of importance in names droppings.
posted by emhutchinson at 12:08 PM on October 28, 2009
I must have a lower standard for what makes for interesting-enough family conversations, because I think it would be cool to hear that my husband lived next door to a celebrity.
But because your family finds it tiresome, I have to ask: are you sure you're not repeating yourself? It would get tiresome to hear the same tidbit about George Clooney or whatever every time he appeared on TV.
posted by palliser at 12:11 PM on October 28, 2009
But because your family finds it tiresome, I have to ask: are you sure you're not repeating yourself? It would get tiresome to hear the same tidbit about George Clooney or whatever every time he appeared on TV.
posted by palliser at 12:11 PM on October 28, 2009
Eh, I don't think it's inherently tiresome, as long as it's tied to a good story. You mentioned Meatloaf, above, and I would immediately classify that as a lousy story, unless we happened to be talking about whether Meatloaf is a big guy. Just seeing someone isn't a story. Punching Harrison Ford over an argument about furniture is a story.
posted by craven_morhead at 12:14 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by craven_morhead at 12:14 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Reading your followup, each of those stories, in and of itself, could be fine if worked into a conversation about that specific topic or celebrity.
Telling these stories every time one of those celebrities is on TV, or in a list of "my celebrity encounters" (like you just did) makes you seem like a braggart.
posted by srrh at 12:19 PM on October 28, 2009 [5 favorites]
Telling these stories every time one of those celebrities is on TV, or in a list of "my celebrity encounters" (like you just did) makes you seem like a braggart.
posted by srrh at 12:19 PM on October 28, 2009 [5 favorites]
I work in a professional environment (public affairs) and we have a woman in our office who is a chronic namedropper. There are not enough hours in the day, or days in the week to accumulate the chance encounters she has had with celebrity. Not to mention she is only 27 years old. She has now become the butt of an entire offices jokes, completely unbeknownst to her. Some even coax them out of her from time to time-- you know, they mess with her. She doesn't even realize it. For instance:
Jokester: Hey NAMEDROPPER, i was walking the dog this weekend and I ran into the Dog Whisperer and he fixed my dog.
NAMEDROPPER: Oh my god, you did not. I had a friend who had her 2 dalmations on his show and he still calls her.
Emhutch-- I implore you, don't be NAMEDROPPER...save your family!!!
posted by tdalton at 12:19 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Jokester: Hey NAMEDROPPER, i was walking the dog this weekend and I ran into the Dog Whisperer and he fixed my dog.
NAMEDROPPER: Oh my god, you did not. I had a friend who had her 2 dalmations on his show and he still calls her.
Emhutch-- I implore you, don't be NAMEDROPPER...save your family!!!
posted by tdalton at 12:19 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
My mom is a journalist and has met a large number of famous people. In my career I've had a lesser number of run-ins and involvement with famous people. For the most part, we might talk about the events or projects concerning the famous people while they're happening, as in an "Here's what I'm up to, this is kind of cool, I get to work with ____" kind of way.
But after that, I think it's kind of odd to just call up these memories for no real reason. When you've had one or three or seven such run-ins in your life, it might be more interesting. But if you and your friend group are in kind of active, creative, public roles as it seems some are, it's just that this is going to happen over and over and over. And after a point, it sounds to other people like you might be bragging about how fabulous your career is, or claiming some reflected glory based on your friends' involvements - which indeed is tiresome.
I think most people whose lives have been at least somewhat worldly - as in, they've lived in a few different places, traveled a bit, gone out to places and shows, probably been to college - have come into contact, direct or ancillary, with people who are famous for something or who go on to become famous. It would be silly, and take a lot of time, for everyone to constantly bring up slightly-less-than relevant stories about famous people they've encountered or have some connection to. And namedropping is considered kind of gauche even in groups of people who are already mostly famous. Some people do it, but it generally comes off as needy.
But if you have a relevant story, one that is truly not egregious, one that says a little something more than "I am somehow connected to that," then definitely share it. It can be interesting.
posted by Miko at 12:24 PM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]
But after that, I think it's kind of odd to just call up these memories for no real reason. When you've had one or three or seven such run-ins in your life, it might be more interesting. But if you and your friend group are in kind of active, creative, public roles as it seems some are, it's just that this is going to happen over and over and over. And after a point, it sounds to other people like you might be bragging about how fabulous your career is, or claiming some reflected glory based on your friends' involvements - which indeed is tiresome.
I think most people whose lives have been at least somewhat worldly - as in, they've lived in a few different places, traveled a bit, gone out to places and shows, probably been to college - have come into contact, direct or ancillary, with people who are famous for something or who go on to become famous. It would be silly, and take a lot of time, for everyone to constantly bring up slightly-less-than relevant stories about famous people they've encountered or have some connection to. And namedropping is considered kind of gauche even in groups of people who are already mostly famous. Some people do it, but it generally comes off as needy.
But if you have a relevant story, one that is truly not egregious, one that says a little something more than "I am somehow connected to that," then definitely share it. It can be interesting.
posted by Miko at 12:24 PM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]
...or: I knew or know all those very important and celebrated people. And look at me now.
posted by Postroad at 12:25 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Postroad at 12:25 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think you are 'allowed' to be somewhat tiresome to your husband and children -- only if they are allowed to eye roll, and if you don't mind their eye rolling.
I would not do name dropping with anyone outside of family, though, unless the conversation really calls for it.
posted by moiraine at 12:26 PM on October 28, 2009
I would not do name dropping with anyone outside of family, though, unless the conversation really calls for it.
posted by moiraine at 12:26 PM on October 28, 2009
Thing is, your husband and children have probably already heard most of your celebrity anecdotes. If you reflexively tell the same story every.single.time you hear a certain celebrity's name, it will get tiresome for them and any other people you see often.
It's a slightly different situation when you're relating these stories to new people- if it comes up in conversation and you don't jump to mention it immediately in an obnoxious way that steals the conversational focus to yourself (ie, Other person: "Have you guys all seen a Beautiful Min-" You: "Oh did I tell you about blah blah blah") AND you keep the story short ("Oh I met him once"; if they want more details, they will ask) AND these are stories about people whom other people actually know (most people know who JK Rowling is. Most people do not care at all who convinced her to give her movie rights to WB. That person is interesting in your view only, frankly), then you might be OK.
posted by MadamM at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's a slightly different situation when you're relating these stories to new people- if it comes up in conversation and you don't jump to mention it immediately in an obnoxious way that steals the conversational focus to yourself (ie, Other person: "Have you guys all seen a Beautiful Min-" You: "Oh did I tell you about blah blah blah") AND you keep the story short ("Oh I met him once"; if they want more details, they will ask) AND these are stories about people whom other people actually know (most people know who JK Rowling is. Most people do not care at all who convinced her to give her movie rights to WB. That person is interesting in your view only, frankly), then you might be OK.
posted by MadamM at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
The NAMEDROPPER thing sort of reminds me of Kristen Wiig's character Penelope - an example of how this can come off if you're not careful.
posted by Miko at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Miko at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: How can I not be a NameDropper? Burl Ives (who? you say?) lived in the penthouse apt and gave out his albums at his Christmas party . . .
oh well, it was only the upper west side in the drop dead '70's--what did we know?
posted by emhutchinson at 12:28 PM on October 28, 2009
oh well, it was only the upper west side in the drop dead '70's--what did we know?
posted by emhutchinson at 12:28 PM on October 28, 2009
I think whether or not name-dropping is socially acceptable depends on a lot of factors -- who you're talking to, how cool the story is, whether you've told the story a gazillion times, etc. I'd perhaps develop more of an awareness of your audience and take a case-by-case basis rather than instituting a blanket policy (i.e., if you notice your family's eyes starting to glaze over, then maybe cut back, but if they still turn to you all star-struck every time you mention something, you're probably okay).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:32 PM on October 28, 2009
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:32 PM on October 28, 2009
There seems to be a fine line between "namedropping" and "sharing a serviceable anecdote." I think that line has to do with whether the anecdote is worthwhile in itself.
As a rule, I think it's best to do this: replace Famous Person X's name in the anecdote with some name you've never heard before. Is the anecdote still interesting? If not, don't tell it, as it relies solely on celebrity for its impact. If it is still interesting, however, give it a go.
For example,
You know, I used to do my laundry with Ricky Gervais.
is a pretty awful example of pure namedropping, because it's only laundry, and the only reason you said it was to point out that you had some connection to some famous guy.
However,
You know, I once did ten months in a Bolivian prison for smuggling cocaine with Ricky Gervais.
is an anecdote worth telling because if you replace Ricky Gervais' name with anyone else's it's still interesting.
posted by koeselitz at 12:32 PM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]
As a rule, I think it's best to do this: replace Famous Person X's name in the anecdote with some name you've never heard before. Is the anecdote still interesting? If not, don't tell it, as it relies solely on celebrity for its impact. If it is still interesting, however, give it a go.
For example,
You know, I used to do my laundry with Ricky Gervais.
is a pretty awful example of pure namedropping, because it's only laundry, and the only reason you said it was to point out that you had some connection to some famous guy.
However,
You know, I once did ten months in a Bolivian prison for smuggling cocaine with Ricky Gervais.
is an anecdote worth telling because if you replace Ricky Gervais' name with anyone else's it's still interesting.
posted by koeselitz at 12:32 PM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]
Another vote for "inheretly tiresome." Virtually everybody has some story or other (six degrees of separation, etc.), and unless it's an absolutely great story on its own merits regardless of the names involved, is especially relevant to the current conversation (like the guy I used to know who, in a discussion of potential benefits of rehab programs, mentioned his guitar playing had improved significantly after being in rehab with x and y big name guitarist and bassist), or is relevant to a decision ("I don't want to donate to so-and-so's foundation because he was a prick to me"), it's irritating and reeks of "Look at me! I'm important!"
posted by notashroom at 12:33 PM on October 28, 2009
posted by notashroom at 12:33 PM on October 28, 2009
Maybe try this: unless the person you're talking to is a big fan or really interested in the celebrity for some reason, ask yourself "would this story be interesting if it was just some random guy or girl?" If the answer is no, quietly bask in your own coolness.
posted by ropeladder at 12:35 PM on October 28, 2009
posted by ropeladder at 12:35 PM on October 28, 2009
I had dinner with Colin Powell. We didn't say a word to each other. I didn't know what to say. But I can say that he came in the back entrance and arrived by helicopter.
I saw the actor that plays Mr. Belding (on Saved by the Bell) at the airport.
My husband saw Latrell Spreewell (however you spell it!) at the mall.
A girl from my graduating high school class went on to become a successful model. I saw her on a commercial once and was like Oh my gosh! I know her! My family said, "cool."
Another girl from high school is a successful comedienne.
I dunno . . . any of that interesting? I think there has to be a relevant story to go along with it. And not just any story . . . but a really good one.
Don't want to be a name dropper? Just keep your mouth shut. No one NEEDS to know that Burl Ives handed out his album at a Christmas party. UNLESS, someone asks, "hey - where'd you get that album?" But, you don't have name drop every time Rudolph comes on the tv.
posted by Sassyfras at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2009
I saw the actor that plays Mr. Belding (on Saved by the Bell) at the airport.
My husband saw Latrell Spreewell (however you spell it!) at the mall.
A girl from my graduating high school class went on to become a successful model. I saw her on a commercial once and was like Oh my gosh! I know her! My family said, "cool."
Another girl from high school is a successful comedienne.
I dunno . . . any of that interesting? I think there has to be a relevant story to go along with it. And not just any story . . . but a really good one.
Don't want to be a name dropper? Just keep your mouth shut. No one NEEDS to know that Burl Ives handed out his album at a Christmas party. UNLESS, someone asks, "hey - where'd you get that album?" But, you don't have name drop every time Rudolph comes on the tv.
posted by Sassyfras at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2009
Oh yeah, one more exception: if it happened today, or since the last time you saw/spoke with the person you're talking to, and you're sharing it in the course of general sharing of current personal events ("Guess who we saw at dinner last night? Famous Actor! I was surprised at how short he seems in person," etc.), it's fine.
posted by notashroom at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by notashroom at 12:37 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think namedropping can be fun if there's a decent story to go along with it. If the stories you're recalling tend to be about you, then maybe they get a bit old/repetitive to hear about after a while.
For example, I once found myself bowling in the lane next to Flavor Flav. I could recall my night of bowling in the Valley with some old high school friends. Or I could recall the details that most people seem to be curious about: he was there with a kid, it was late on a weeknight and no, he wasn't wearing a giant clock necklace.
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2009
For example, I once found myself bowling in the lane next to Flavor Flav. I could recall my night of bowling in the Valley with some old high school friends. Or I could recall the details that most people seem to be curious about: he was there with a kid, it was late on a weeknight and no, he wasn't wearing a giant clock necklace.
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2009
and no, he wasn't wearing a giant clock necklace.
How disappointing. Some things should just be kept to yourself.
posted by Sassyfras at 12:40 PM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]
How disappointing. Some things should just be kept to yourself.
posted by Sassyfras at 12:40 PM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]
How can I not be a NameDropper? Burl Ives (who? you say?) lived in the penthouse apt and gave out his albums at his Christmas party . . .
oh well, it was only the upper west side in the drop dead '70's--what did we know?
See, you've been dropping names in this thread, ostensibly to answer questions, but you don't answer the questions at hand at all, instead supplying mostly irrelevant anecdotes about your connections with celebrities. These answers aren't supplying relevant information that is necessary for the respondents to read. Instead, it just seems like you want an excuse to talk about the celebrities you know. And, like, honestly, it's getting tiresome to read. So I say, just cut it out. If it's bothering the people around you, make a conscientious effort to stop doing that.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:43 PM on October 28, 2009 [29 favorites]
oh well, it was only the upper west side in the drop dead '70's--what did we know?
See, you've been dropping names in this thread, ostensibly to answer questions, but you don't answer the questions at hand at all, instead supplying mostly irrelevant anecdotes about your connections with celebrities. These answers aren't supplying relevant information that is necessary for the respondents to read. Instead, it just seems like you want an excuse to talk about the celebrities you know. And, like, honestly, it's getting tiresome to read. So I say, just cut it out. If it's bothering the people around you, make a conscientious effort to stop doing that.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:43 PM on October 28, 2009 [29 favorites]
Yeah, here's the thing: if you grew up in Manhattan like I dod, you knew, dated, slept with, went to school with, lived next door to or shared a grocery store with absolutely everyone and all of their offspring. It becomes tedious because there is literally a story about every East Coast celebrity. The net effect is that every interaction with every celebrity, even in terms of watching TV, becomes all about you and doesn't let the people you're with have their own experience. THAT is what is irksome.
And yes, there should be a board or something for awesome celebrity stories, or somewhere you can play 1 Degree of Separation to your heart's content, but your livingroom ain't it.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:46 PM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
And yes, there should be a board or something for awesome celebrity stories, or somewhere you can play 1 Degree of Separation to your heart's content, but your livingroom ain't it.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:46 PM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
I think you just have to tailor for the person. If I were your good friend, I'd love to hear about those connections/incidents when they come up naturally, and I'm not even the tiniest bit of a celebrity hound. It would just be interesting and fun to me because it was your story, and I'd feel sad if you held back for any reason aside from natural inclination. But some will feel smaller because they think that their own stories aren't "good" enough in comparison, some are just not interested in those kind of anecdotes, some may have heard a lot of it before from you (can you remember if you've told the story before, to that person? It's tough to keep track!), and kids, depending on their age, are often irritated or embarrassed by any stories that have to do with their parents as not-parents. They often become quite interested as adults, though.
Your husband is really the most important... if he seems bothered, you should keep the anecdotes few and far between - perhaps especially the ones that might have to do with romantic/sexual connections. I'm all for stories, tales and remembrances, but I really would not be so thrilled to hear that my husband almost married Scarlett Johansson (of course, for that to have actually happened, she would have had to be no more than six years old, so you can imagine how that would be especially disturbing.)
posted by taz at 12:52 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Your husband is really the most important... if he seems bothered, you should keep the anecdotes few and far between - perhaps especially the ones that might have to do with romantic/sexual connections. I'm all for stories, tales and remembrances, but I really would not be so thrilled to hear that my husband almost married Scarlett Johansson (of course, for that to have actually happened, she would have had to be no more than six years old, so you can imagine how that would be especially disturbing.)
posted by taz at 12:52 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Are you namedropping in this thread as an example of what you do with your family? Because it's really annoying.
posted by gaspode at 12:54 PM on October 28, 2009 [24 favorites]
posted by gaspode at 12:54 PM on October 28, 2009 [24 favorites]
As a point of reference, your followups are uninteresting and on the tiresome side. And actually, this entire AskMe feels like it was created so you could do more namedropping.
posted by hwyengr at 12:54 PM on October 28, 2009 [22 favorites]
posted by hwyengr at 12:54 PM on October 28, 2009 [22 favorites]
I think it's the way you tell the story. All your stories sound really boring and have no real bearing on the conversation (sorry).
I think on a fundamental level, the way you tell your stories makes it seem like you're not listening. Essentially, when you celebrity name drop you should do it in a way that shows you care about the person you're telling it to.
Your last one, in particular, is not relevant at all and comes across like you just want to tell us that you met Calvin Klein. This isn't worthy of note to the thread, and everyone that reads it is not going to care.
In essence, do you want to hear about the person that I ran into at Potbelly's do you? They were a complete nobody. So why would I want to hear about Calvin Klein? It's just another person. You wouldn't think to tell your husband and your kids a story about some random person you saw at the grocery store.
By dropping a celeb story, you're trying to convey something. Think about what you're trying to convey about yourself- in essence why you tell a story. You want people to think of you better, as quasi-famous, even if you won't admit to it, that's the message that's coming across.
posted by unexpected at 12:57 PM on October 28, 2009
I think on a fundamental level, the way you tell your stories makes it seem like you're not listening. Essentially, when you celebrity name drop you should do it in a way that shows you care about the person you're telling it to.
Your last one, in particular, is not relevant at all and comes across like you just want to tell us that you met Calvin Klein. This isn't worthy of note to the thread, and everyone that reads it is not going to care.
In essence, do you want to hear about the person that I ran into at Potbelly's do you? They were a complete nobody. So why would I want to hear about Calvin Klein? It's just another person. You wouldn't think to tell your husband and your kids a story about some random person you saw at the grocery store.
By dropping a celeb story, you're trying to convey something. Think about what you're trying to convey about yourself- in essence why you tell a story. You want people to think of you better, as quasi-famous, even if you won't admit to it, that's the message that's coming across.
posted by unexpected at 12:57 PM on October 28, 2009
It doesn't sound to me like you actually know any of these people, contrary to your question.
posted by rhizome at 1:03 PM on October 28, 2009
posted by rhizome at 1:03 PM on October 28, 2009
Mod note: please don't namedrop in this thread as an "is this annoying" example.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:05 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:05 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
If this thread is representative of how you drop the names in real life, I would not want to be sitting next to you on a plane (for example).
However I would like to hear more about Harrison Ford getting punched over a sofa disagreement.
posted by mikepop at 1:14 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
However I would like to hear more about Harrison Ford getting punched over a sofa disagreement.
posted by mikepop at 1:14 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
I don't find any of this interesting and I live off of gossip blogs. I'm trying to figure out why you don't just start your own site to get all of your stories out once and for all, where people who actually give a hoot can congregate and ooh and aah over some arrogant designer buying ugly, overpriced flowers* or how luxurious your life must be having run into so many people all the time.
Oh the glamor, the mystery. Did you make this post to illustrate to someone else that they're acting a fool? That's what it seems like.
*not my personal feelings but a pretty broad sentiment as an example. love your jeans, mr. klein.
posted by june made him a gemini at 1:14 PM on October 28, 2009
Oh the glamor, the mystery. Did you make this post to illustrate to someone else that they're acting a fool? That's what it seems like.
*not my personal feelings but a pretty broad sentiment as an example. love your jeans, mr. klein.
posted by june made him a gemini at 1:14 PM on October 28, 2009
p.s. Not to pile on, but I’d find it hurtful and rude if my husband made any kind of habit out of pointing out the other women he had wanted to marry.
posted by applemeat at 1:16 PM on October 28, 2009
posted by applemeat at 1:16 PM on October 28, 2009
Response by poster: The point is not to draw attention to oneself. The point is that one cannot turn over a leaf without
discovering a "famous" person beneath. Yes, it gets tiresome. Maybe only DarlingBri knows what I mean. No, the actual anecdotes may not be interesting, but it is tiresome that there are so many.
Sorry, and yes I do know all these people and I kind of wish I didn't. Sorry my stories are boring.
To you.
posted by emhutchinson at 1:17 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
discovering a "famous" person beneath. Yes, it gets tiresome. Maybe only DarlingBri knows what I mean. No, the actual anecdotes may not be interesting, but it is tiresome that there are so many.
Sorry, and yes I do know all these people and I kind of wish I didn't. Sorry my stories are boring.
To you.
posted by emhutchinson at 1:17 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
While I understand jessamyn's reason for deleting your most recent comment, at the same time I regret it a bit because it showed just how far off your idea of "interesting celebrity story" is from most people's.
Based on having seen that comment, I would say that your bar for what makes an interesting celebrity story is much much lower than most people's, and yes, you should stop doing that. Take a while to listen to how often other people bring up stories of their personal encounters with celebrities, and consider the possibility that it's not that they've met fewer celebrities than you have, but rather they are better judges of which stories about them are interesting. (And if your instinctive response to this suggestion is "of course I've met more celebrities than they have," well, how do you know how many celebrities anyone else has met, if they won't necessarily mention it if they have?)
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:23 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Based on having seen that comment, I would say that your bar for what makes an interesting celebrity story is much much lower than most people's, and yes, you should stop doing that. Take a while to listen to how often other people bring up stories of their personal encounters with celebrities, and consider the possibility that it's not that they've met fewer celebrities than you have, but rather they are better judges of which stories about them are interesting. (And if your instinctive response to this suggestion is "of course I've met more celebrities than they have," well, how do you know how many celebrities anyone else has met, if they won't necessarily mention it if they have?)
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:23 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
....Okay, the fact that even YOU say it's tiresome to you is probably reason enough for you to think about giving it a rest.
As far as I can tell, this is what your'e saying:
* You have met an inordinately large number of famous people.
* Every time you see one of these famous people, you're compelled to remark "hey, I met them.
* You say your family's finding it tiresome.
* It sounds like even YOU find it tiresome.
* Nevertheless, you....wonder if you should stop.
If that's the case, it doesn't matter what the actual behavior in question is. You're doing something that your family is tired of, and you're even tired of it yourself. So just stop doing it. It doesn't matter whether anyone else thinks you should stop it, you and your family don't like it any more, so there you have it.
Seriously: if the question were this instead --
"It gets tiresome for my husband and children to watch tv/movies, open print media and hear me spontaneously yodel Sometimes I just shut my mouth.
When does spontaneously yodeling stop being interesting and become tiresome? Or is it always, inherently so?"
....Would you be wondering whether or not to stop the behavior? Probably not -- you'd be thinking, "well, duh, if your family's getting sick of it, time to stop yodeling."
This is the same thing. It doesn't matter what it is you're doing, it's bugging your family. There it is.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:23 PM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
As far as I can tell, this is what your'e saying:
* You have met an inordinately large number of famous people.
* Every time you see one of these famous people, you're compelled to remark "hey, I met them.
* You say your family's finding it tiresome.
* It sounds like even YOU find it tiresome.
* Nevertheless, you....wonder if you should stop.
If that's the case, it doesn't matter what the actual behavior in question is. You're doing something that your family is tired of, and you're even tired of it yourself. So just stop doing it. It doesn't matter whether anyone else thinks you should stop it, you and your family don't like it any more, so there you have it.
Seriously: if the question were this instead --
"It gets tiresome for my husband and children to watch tv/movies, open print media and hear me spontaneously yodel Sometimes I just shut my mouth.
When does spontaneously yodeling stop being interesting and become tiresome? Or is it always, inherently so?"
....Would you be wondering whether or not to stop the behavior? Probably not -- you'd be thinking, "well, duh, if your family's getting sick of it, time to stop yodeling."
This is the same thing. It doesn't matter what it is you're doing, it's bugging your family. There it is.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:23 PM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
I kind of wish I didn't
If you don't tell your stories, nobody else would know that you did. The secret will die with you.
Having lots of stories is only a small part of being an interesting person. Knowing when to tell them is much more important.
posted by hwyengr at 1:25 PM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]
If you don't tell your stories, nobody else would know that you did. The secret will die with you.
Having lots of stories is only a small part of being an interesting person. Knowing when to tell them is much more important.
posted by hwyengr at 1:25 PM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]
I lived in Los Angeles for a few years, where it's very common to run into, and interact with, celebrities in the normal course of life, just because there are so many of them there.
Seriously -- and I say this without intending to be mean or vindictive -- all the name-dropping you've done in the thread above is the worst kind of banal, meaningless, incidental name-dropping that there is. It's obnoxious 100% of the time. The fact that Meatloaf sat in front of you really does mean nothing. Telling the story implies that you think it does mean something, and that's pathetic, and it makes the people you're talking to feel sorry for you.
What's really pathetic - and I mean sickeningly - is your anecdote about Calvin Klein and the orchids. Why did you tell us that? Is that supposed to be an example of how interesting and relevant your stories are?
It's nothing. Not interesting, not fun, not worthwhile. I can, and am in fact obliged to, tell you this, because you told your story in the context of actually asking how to tell whether your-name dropping is tiresome. Well, it is. If the examples that you've given here are at all representative, then compared to you, my interaction with famous people makes me a rock star. Except that I'm not.
I personally know one of the people you've mentioned above. And when I say "know" I mean that I actually know them, not that I just happened to be within ten feet of them once. But I'm not going to say who, or tell them about this thread. I'm not even going to tell our mutual friends about this thread in casual passing.
That's because nobody cares.
posted by bingo at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2009 [13 favorites]
Seriously -- and I say this without intending to be mean or vindictive -- all the name-dropping you've done in the thread above is the worst kind of banal, meaningless, incidental name-dropping that there is. It's obnoxious 100% of the time. The fact that Meatloaf sat in front of you really does mean nothing. Telling the story implies that you think it does mean something, and that's pathetic, and it makes the people you're talking to feel sorry for you.
What's really pathetic - and I mean sickeningly - is your anecdote about Calvin Klein and the orchids. Why did you tell us that? Is that supposed to be an example of how interesting and relevant your stories are?
It's nothing. Not interesting, not fun, not worthwhile. I can, and am in fact obliged to, tell you this, because you told your story in the context of actually asking how to tell whether your-name dropping is tiresome. Well, it is. If the examples that you've given here are at all representative, then compared to you, my interaction with famous people makes me a rock star. Except that I'm not.
I personally know one of the people you've mentioned above. And when I say "know" I mean that I actually know them, not that I just happened to be within ten feet of them once. But I'm not going to say who, or tell them about this thread. I'm not even going to tell our mutual friends about this thread in casual passing.
That's because nobody cares.
posted by bingo at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2009 [13 favorites]
one cannot turn over a leaf without discovering a "famous" person beneath.
That's exactly right. That's why it's so unremarkable, and therefore pretty much uninteresting, to talk about them most of the time.
posted by Miko at 1:33 PM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
That's exactly right. That's why it's so unremarkable, and therefore pretty much uninteresting, to talk about them most of the time.
posted by Miko at 1:33 PM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
Best answer: ...the other thing is that people, when hearing celeb anecdotes, often have to decide how to respond, which can be awkward. For instance, I bet everyone here has a "lived-in-building-with-X" story analogous to Burl Ives. But if they answer you anecdote for anecdote, then that's just engaging in one-upmanship. If they don't do that, what's left? "Wow, that's cool." (kind of a dead end).
If I was having a genuine conversation about Celebrities I've Known with someone, I'd probably enjoy hearing something like the Burl Ives story. Or maybe that would fit in a conversation about the weird juxtapositions one found in 1970s New York. In those conversations, there is a place for that note. But I don't enjoy it inserted where it's not germane to the current topic, and I doubt most people could be expected to.
posted by Miko at 1:38 PM on October 28, 2009
If I was having a genuine conversation about Celebrities I've Known with someone, I'd probably enjoy hearing something like the Burl Ives story. Or maybe that would fit in a conversation about the weird juxtapositions one found in 1970s New York. In those conversations, there is a place for that note. But I don't enjoy it inserted where it's not germane to the current topic, and I doubt most people could be expected to.
posted by Miko at 1:38 PM on October 28, 2009
I think you are not realizing these stories are't interesting. Instead of "Billy Joel" say "Andy Fuller". If it's not an interesting story with your next neighbor as the subject it's not interesting.
Once my ex's brother came to school with me? Not very interesting.
I sat behind a big scary guy one time.
Not that interesting.
I have interacted with and socialized with some (very) famous people maybe 100 times but I only have about 2 interesting stories. And when I was young and dumb I thought people would think I was more interesting if I mentioned them. Now I know I shuold just really just shut my mouth. They aren't interesting enough to look like a desperate name dropper.
posted by beccaj at 1:43 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Once my ex's brother came to school with me? Not very interesting.
I sat behind a big scary guy one time.
Not that interesting.
I have interacted with and socialized with some (very) famous people maybe 100 times but I only have about 2 interesting stories. And when I was young and dumb I thought people would think I was more interesting if I mentioned them. Now I know I shuold just really just shut my mouth. They aren't interesting enough to look like a desperate name dropper.
posted by beccaj at 1:43 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Yeah.. if you had real stories they would be interesting. Seeing Meatloaf at a concert, not so much.
Seems like you have some trouble self-editing.
Anecdotally (ha) my mother came of age in the 60s and 70s in NYC. Her first husband was an actor. She knew TONS of famous people. But she only ever told me stories when they were (a) on point to the conversation and (b) particularly interesting.
Try working out some criteria for yourself. It won't be that hard.
posted by miss tea at 1:46 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Seems like you have some trouble self-editing.
Anecdotally (ha) my mother came of age in the 60s and 70s in NYC. Her first husband was an actor. She knew TONS of famous people. But she only ever told me stories when they were (a) on point to the conversation and (b) particularly interesting.
Try working out some criteria for yourself. It won't be that hard.
posted by miss tea at 1:46 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
I don't think namedropping per se is your problem. I think you might try polishing up your conversation skills. I don't mean to be harsh, but you come off as lacking energy and enthusiasm, and maybe you think your celebrity encounters are the only thing remotely interesting about yourself? Try to engage in activities you find inspiring and revitalizing, and you will naturally have more interesting conversations. Also, make sure you aren't just talking about yourself, but also asking questions of your family about their activities, being an active listener. You may find that now and then your celebrity encounters will naturally come up in conversation. Once in awhile is fine; daily mentions of anything is tiresome.
posted by JenMarie at 1:55 PM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by JenMarie at 1:55 PM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]
It seems you should just try going cold turkey. See how things go from there when you simply don't mention knowing X or Y. The problem with too much name dropping is that it would seem as if you're worried you're not interesting enough, so you try and interest others in you by connecting yourself to those celebrities. Give folks a chance to get to know you, not the people you know or knew!
posted by Atreides at 1:59 PM on October 28, 2009
posted by Atreides at 1:59 PM on October 28, 2009
Response by poster: Gee, I'd never have thought things could come to such a pass . . .
See, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
And no, I do not think such brushes with "fame" render anyone "interesting."
As for the LA inhabitant, once upon a time, yikes!
P.S. Conan O'Brien is the only person with whom I have had a blind date, ever. Dinner at the Harvard Lampoon. I watched them throw the plates into the fireplace.
posted by emhutchinson at 2:27 PM on October 28, 2009
See, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
And no, I do not think such brushes with "fame" render anyone "interesting."
As for the LA inhabitant, once upon a time, yikes!
P.S. Conan O'Brien is the only person with whom I have had a blind date, ever. Dinner at the Harvard Lampoon. I watched them throw the plates into the fireplace.
posted by emhutchinson at 2:27 PM on October 28, 2009
If my mom had gone on a blind date with Conan O'Brien, I would totally want to hear about it. You should really work on your story-telling skills though, because somehow you made even that sound boring.
posted by booknerd at 2:28 PM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by booknerd at 2:28 PM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]
Seriously, why did you ask this question if you are totally uninterested in hearing anybody's perspective besides your own? I am a little befuddled. Is this some kind of performance art?
posted by miss tea at 2:31 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by miss tea at 2:31 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
Ok, that thing you did with telling us about Conan O'Brien . . . .
that totally would have been interesting and appropriate if we had been talking about BLIND DATES, or perhaps dates in general, or the topic of Conan's love life came up.
But to just throw that out there is really . . . awkward and . . . name dropping.
posted by Sassyfras at 2:34 PM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]
that totally would have been interesting and appropriate if we had been talking about BLIND DATES, or perhaps dates in general, or the topic of Conan's love life came up.
But to just throw that out there is really . . . awkward and . . . name dropping.
posted by Sassyfras at 2:34 PM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]
I agree with sassyfras. To not just drop, but throw names out there like this is a little crazyface.
posted by craven_morhead at 2:35 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by craven_morhead at 2:35 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think that last comment shows that the poster is not only a boor who doesn't understand how to make interesting conversation, but also doesn't understand how to use Metafilter.
posted by hilaritas at 2:37 PM on October 28, 2009
posted by hilaritas at 2:37 PM on October 28, 2009
So let me get this straight. You asked a question about whether or not you should continue namedropping. People responded with their opinions, generally agreeing that it's probably for the best if you cool it. In response... you namedrop.
Nobody asked you to share your stories with us, but that's what you're doing. Completely out of context. Your replies in this thread are totally inscrutable. "Why are you all attacking me? I went on a date with Conan O'Brien, by the way." What? Who cares? How is that relevant?
You came here, ostensibly, for advice. Take it or don't, but this certainly isn't the forum for name dropping celebrities, especially when so many have said they aren't interested.
posted by timory at 2:40 PM on October 28, 2009 [8 favorites]
Nobody asked you to share your stories with us, but that's what you're doing. Completely out of context. Your replies in this thread are totally inscrutable. "Why are you all attacking me? I went on a date with Conan O'Brien, by the way." What? Who cares? How is that relevant?
You came here, ostensibly, for advice. Take it or don't, but this certainly isn't the forum for name dropping celebrities, especially when so many have said they aren't interested.
posted by timory at 2:40 PM on October 28, 2009 [8 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by modernnomad at 11:40 AM on October 28, 2009