How to manage feelings in BDSM/casual sex relaionships?
October 4, 2009 4:55 PM Subscribe
Your tips on figuring out my feelings as I enter into casual play relationships? (risque elaboration within)
posted by anonymous to human relations (10 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Sooooo I am a newbie to BDSM and casual play/sex and while I've had a small handful of good experiences so far, I'm a little worried of my own green-eyed monster rearing its head. Main reason I ask: I met someone recently who I enjoy play/sex with, and since he is unattached and very affectionate towards me (and I find him very attractive) I'm starting to get date-y feelings toward him. He compliments me in a date-y way, too, i've spent the night, and he has once (on our 2nd of 2 play dates) suggested we hang out in a non-play setting too, but I'm not sure what to make of this or if I'm reading into it. I'm afraid to bring up any deeper discussion because I feel... uptight? demanding? like I'll freak him out by being not-casual? if I do.
This is all especially confusing because, while 3somes are something I'd like to try, I now am getting antsy and mixed-up emotionally when he brings up looking for new play partners for us. And I'm feeling tinges of jealousy knowing he's looking for new play partners for himself. How does one manage this sort of transition and dealing with jealousy? Any suggested tips? Suggested reads? Throwaway email: firstname.lastname@example.org If it matters, I am female, 30, unmarried (and not very marriage-minded normally.)