Who's going in the Halloween graveyard?

September 15, 2009 9:19 AM

Funny/punny/scary names to put on fake tombstones for Halloween.

A few years ago, I made some fake tombstones to decorate the front lawn for Halloween. They have names like Moe Dover, Willie Makeit, Betty Wont, Sam Boney, Henrietta Badclam, Les Digits, Barry L. Plotz. I'm making more this year, and need some names.

Come on Mefites! Show me what you got!

(To prime the pump, some more names I like; Gladys Overwith, O. Howard Hurtz. And, yes, I've blatantly stolen a bunch from Click&Clack.)

posted by ObscureReferenceMan to home & garden (33 answers total)

Poly Tikal des Course
posted by Goofyy at 9:24 AM on September 15, 2009

Not quite a name, I know, but I bring to you the wording of a tombstone that appeared in the pages of Mad magazine more than thirty years ago:

Saw five sharks
Off the coast
Four he missed
One almost
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:31 AM on September 15, 2009 [1 favorite]

L. F. A. Bang
Luke Out
Ann Thrax
Hugo First

And perhaps a few for '09
Les Riches
Wilma Moneylast
posted by IanMorr at 9:32 AM on September 15, 2009

a friend's costume one Halloween consisted of a name tag...

Anne Thracks
posted by sio42 at 9:40 AM on September 15, 2009

Ted N. Berreed?
I. M. Wormfood
Phil Graves
Lane Horace Zontally
Vic Timm
posted by bashos_frog at 9:40 AM on September 15, 2009

I thought about phrases, but I'm not sure. I have to dremel out each letter, so they can be time-consuming.

Keep 'em coming!
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 9:42 AM on September 15, 2009

Hedda Sploaded
Dee Seesed
Eaton Bybears
posted by bashos_frog at 9:45 AM on September 15, 2009 [1 favorite]

Old Mybeer Hotchdiss
Pinky Anna Socket
Cy and Ide
posted by forforf at 9:46 AM on September 15, 2009

Hugh R. Neckst
posted by bashos_frog at 9:49 AM on September 15, 2009 [1 favorite]

one more:
Hugh R. Notindawill
posted by forforf at 9:50 AM on September 15, 2009

Izzy Breedin
Noah Deeyar
posted by bashos_frog at 9:52 AM on September 15, 2009

Barry L. Plott
Anita Newhart
Mort M. Post
Roddy Fleish
posted by dudiggy at 9:56 AM on September 15, 2009

Why use fake names when real ones can be funnier?
posted by ColdChef at 9:58 AM on September 15, 2009

Also.
posted by ColdChef at 9:59 AM on September 15, 2009

Ma Lignent
Paul Bearer
Pam Demmick
posted by xingcat at 10:10 AM on September 15, 2009

Now I have this on the brain. Some more ideas:

Gil o'Teen
Dee Fenestration
Emma Beau Lism
Mr. Sa
posted by xingcat at 10:17 AM on September 15, 2009

A great resource for these sort of cheeky names is the International Rollergirls' Master Roster." A sample of some gems:

• Iva Deathwish
• Liv Dangerously
• C.N. Blood

And some other jewels culled from the internets:

• Barry M. Deep
• Cy Copath
• Dee Cayed
• Eaton Wurms
• Lane Downe
• Miss N. Cranium
• M.T. Tomb
• Myra Mains
• Russ T. Kauphin
• Ted N. Buried
posted by numinous at 10:24 AM on September 15, 2009 [1 favorite]

Xavier Onasis
posted by Midnight Skulker at 11:09 AM on September 15, 2009

Hugh Jass
Half-Fast
posted by bach at 12:01 PM on September 15, 2009

Can't believe I haven't seen R U Next already.

This one is long, but my fave:
H Dumpty
I was pushed

There's a bunch here.
posted by evening at 12:15 PM on September 15, 2009

M. T. Graves
posted by dunkadunc at 12:21 PM on September 15, 2009

Ben Morecareful
Pete Moss
Al Beback
Wenton A. Hurry

Lisa Grave
May Comeback
Joy N. Me
Sheena Amongus

reaching, but i had fun thinking about them for a minute.
posted by Palerale at 12:27 PM on September 15, 2009

Rip Owtchergutz
Sue Asyde
Diane Rott
posted by dlugoczaj at 12:45 PM on September 15, 2009

It's long but I always liked

ObscureReferenceMan was a Chemist
but now he is no more
What he thought was H20
Was H2SO4!
posted by pointystick at 1:19 PM on September 15, 2009

Barry Dalyve
Phil DePitt
A. Fine & Pvt. Place
Dan S. MacAbre
Sir Cophagus
Molder N. Bones
D.M. Drybones
G. Host Ryder & D. Skye
DeCom Posen
Metta Norrible Fate
Hebe Rottendowne
U. Shelby Dust
posted by Pallas Athena at 2:32 PM on September 15, 2009

Nott N. DeGrave
Will B. A. Rysing
Ko Min Pho Ryu
Ken Dance
(I think the name "Ken Dance" on a tombstone would be the best joke ever)
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:03 PM on September 15, 2009

Dee Punderground
posted by LobsterMitten at 4:11 PM on September 15, 2009

Lotta Stumps
I.S. Ocketts
Bea Rains
S. Kelly Tunn
Ann Eurisom
'Pops' Vessels
M. A. Gotti
posted by nj_subgenius at 5:32 PM on September 15, 2009

A couple poems I've seen:

this spot's the sweetest
I've seen in my life
for it raises flower
and covers my wife

Here lies Ann Mann
She lived an old maid
but died an old Mann

posted by knave at 5:35 PM on September 15, 2009

L. Onley Pitt
Nellie Krofilia (NSFK I suppose)
Bela Tolsfoyu
G. Rand Guignol
S. Plata Gutz
Hedona Pike
posted by nj_subgenius at 5:44 PM on September 15, 2009

I. Grimley Wreap
Wormley Bates
Schuyler B. Glumie
Paul Behrer (think that was done already but my spellings better)
Dan Sonmagraive
Sy O'Neide
posted by nj_subgenius at 5:58 PM on September 15, 2009

Here lies Oliver
Ended It With His Revoliver
posted by nj_subgenius at 6:09 PM on September 15, 2009

Angel Odetts
Lex Trokyuhsin
F. Amos Laswordrz
Juan Moore Tipple
Noah Brakes
Grippen D. Coffin
posted by nj_subgenius at 6:34 PM on September 15, 2009