Did you ever want to commit a school shooting? Tell me what PREVENTED you from doing it?
April 24, 2009 8:25 AM Subscribe
Were you ever in a place in your life where you wanted to commit a school shooting? I'm curious why you never did it. Not that I want it to happen - I am, rather more interested in what PREVENTED it, what stopped you from doing it.
Years ago I was a terribly angry young man who wanted to exact revenge on people. I wanted them to feel what I felt every day. I even had plans, and a copy of the Anarchist's Cookbook (this was before Columbine and the internet).
But I never killed anyone because up here in Canada, we don't have easy access to guns, and more importantly, I had some very loving people in my life, and a talent I could find some victory in.
Whenever I read about school shootings on CNN, I have a different response than most people I know. While they are thinking, "That's crazy, that makes no sense - why would someone do something like that?" I am thinking, "That could have been me killing all those people."
I have a great deal of empathy for these killers because I remember what it was like to be that young and so angry and thinking that I wasn't going to live past 21 and hating so much of what you encountered in high school and thinking that what high school was like was how the world was - and that how badly I felt was how I was going to feel forever - so why not kill myself or kill everyone?
But life isn't like that. High school is a strange sort of crucible that isn't wholly reflective of the world.
So I am interested in hearing from people who, like me, found themselves ready to unleash their (at the time, seemingly justified) fury on the world, but, for a number of reasons, never did it, got older, discovered that life will surprise you, and learned to swim in a place they used to drown.
What were your reasons?
(A message for Law Enforcement: I am a happy man now. The feelings I expressed in this explanation was from over a decade and a half ago. I've never been arrested, nor do I own a gun. I have a nice day job and quirky artsy friends. Please do not consider the contents of this question in any way a real or perceived threat. Thanks!)
Years ago I was a terribly angry young man who wanted to exact revenge on people. I wanted them to feel what I felt every day. I even had plans, and a copy of the Anarchist's Cookbook (this was before Columbine and the internet).
But I never killed anyone because up here in Canada, we don't have easy access to guns, and more importantly, I had some very loving people in my life, and a talent I could find some victory in.
Whenever I read about school shootings on CNN, I have a different response than most people I know. While they are thinking, "That's crazy, that makes no sense - why would someone do something like that?" I am thinking, "That could have been me killing all those people."
I have a great deal of empathy for these killers because I remember what it was like to be that young and so angry and thinking that I wasn't going to live past 21 and hating so much of what you encountered in high school and thinking that what high school was like was how the world was - and that how badly I felt was how I was going to feel forever - so why not kill myself or kill everyone?
But life isn't like that. High school is a strange sort of crucible that isn't wholly reflective of the world.
So I am interested in hearing from people who, like me, found themselves ready to unleash their (at the time, seemingly justified) fury on the world, but, for a number of reasons, never did it, got older, discovered that life will surprise you, and learned to swim in a place they used to drown.
What were your reasons?
(A message for Law Enforcement: I am a happy man now. The feelings I expressed in this explanation was from over a decade and a half ago. I've never been arrested, nor do I own a gun. I have a nice day job and quirky artsy friends. Please do not consider the contents of this question in any way a real or perceived threat. Thanks!)
This post was deleted for the following reason: I'm not considering the contents of this question in any way a real or perceived threat, but it is basically school-shooting/murder/suicide chatfilter presented pretty provocatively and I don't think it's going to work here. -- cortex
I was an angry 80s metalhead kid who consumed a lot of morbid media content, abused substances, and generally acted out against authority in school. I guess I probably thought about doing something like this at some point. I even had access to lots of guns, because my dad was the kind of total gun nut who kept a sawwed-off shotgun in his sock drawer and a high caliber handgun next to the bed.
Why didn't I do it? Um, ahhhh, maybe because I wasn't a totally deranged psychopath, like the kind of kids who actually bring guns to schools and kill people with them? There's kind of a pretty broad gap between Angry Teenager and Mass Murderer in terms of psychopathology.
posted by The Straightener at 8:33 AM on April 24, 2009
Why didn't I do it? Um, ahhhh, maybe because I wasn't a totally deranged psychopath, like the kind of kids who actually bring guns to schools and kill people with them? There's kind of a pretty broad gap between Angry Teenager and Mass Murderer in terms of psychopathology.
posted by The Straightener at 8:33 AM on April 24, 2009
Cuz this thread will probably get deleted I just wanna ask you how many brows you think you unfurrowed by claiming to have "quirky artsy friends"?
posted by jon_kill at 8:35 AM on April 24, 2009
posted by jon_kill at 8:35 AM on April 24, 2009
Knowing the consquences of my actions and being able to control my anger through other means.
posted by bleucube at 8:38 AM on April 24, 2009
posted by bleucube at 8:38 AM on April 24, 2009
jon_kill: "3Cuz this thread will probably get deleted I just wanna ask you how many brows you think you unfurrowed by claiming to have "quirky artsy friends"?"
I think the poster was demonstrating that he is well-adjusted and has a sense of humor.
posted by iamkimiam at 8:40 AM on April 24, 2009
I think the poster was demonstrating that he is well-adjusted and has a sense of humor.
posted by iamkimiam at 8:40 AM on April 24, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 8:31 AM on April 24, 2009 [3 favorites]