We'd prefer invites with tact
March 20, 2009 8:44 AM Subscribe
A friend's wedding invitation had a poem that included the line "We prefer gifts of money." Besides choking on my own rage, what do I do?
posted by anonymous to society & culture (202 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
My buddy is marrying his fiancee in July. Stuck in the invitation envelope was a cutesy but obviously home-made poem about how the happy couple has everything they'd ever need, but what they really want is a house (instead of the condo they already own), so please pony up. There's no "your presence is enough, but if you must" or anything like that. They just flat-out want cash from every invitee. I showed it to my plus-one and she almost swallowed her tongue in shock.
-This follows a bridal shower invitation to my girlfriend that also requested money-only gifts. (She politely declined to attend.)
-The bride-to-be's parents are from a culture that google implies is more ok with this. I know her quite well, however, and she never identifies with that culture. She's certainly Westernized enough to know how this is going to come across to the guests. The ceremony is going to be in California and won't reflect her parents' culture either.
-They are actually quite well-off. This isn't some ramen-eating college couple looking for a creative way to make next month's rent.
-Their parents are covering the cost of the wedding.
-As sweet as it would be to wrap an etiquette book and give that, I really don't want to lose or damage the friendship over this. I'm willing to score it as a lapse in judgment and forget it once I've figured out how to deal with it.
Question is: given the above, is there a graceful way out? The idea of stuffing a cheque into an envelope galls me in the extreme. What other options do I have that won't come across as a condemnation or attack?
Sub-question, since some of you are going to answer it anyway: Am I being too sensitive? Is this the way of the future? Should I just accept that some weddings are pay-at-the-door?