Just don't burn the place down...

February 25, 2009 4:49 AM

Housesitting etiquette?

I'm housesitting for some friends soon, for a period of about six weeks. It's a really cool little house in the city, and I'm currently staying with my parents whilst jobhunting, so I'm really looking forward to having my own space for a while.

I know that often housesitters get paid, but since they're renters, and I'm not having to cover rent of my own at the same time, I'm wondering if I should offer to chip in for bills etc? Or maybe I should just get them a nice thankyou gift, or leave some nice food in their fridge for their return? Or is this totally unnecessary?

Are there any other things it would be helpful for me to know, either in terms of etiquette or more practical things? They don't have any pets or much of a garden, and I assume things should be pretty straightforward. I understand generally how to be good house-guest, but I've never housesat before and I want to do a good job!

posted by Emilyisnow to home & garden (19 answers total)

They asked you to house sit? It seems like you're kinda doing them a favor, I wouldn't worry about chipping in on the bills but it never hurts to give someone a thank you gift anyway. It's not like it'll look bad on your part if you get them something nice but unless you asked to stay in their home I don't think they'd be expecting anything. Hell, they might end up getting you a thank you gift.
posted by BrnP84 at 5:19 AM on February 25, 2009

Rather than a thank you gift, its always nice to come home to fresh food and groceries in the fridge, gives a few more options than takeaway when they get back. Maybe a bottle of wine or two in there also?
posted by biffa at 5:36 AM on February 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Along with the groceries, make sure the house is cleaner when they come home than it was when they left. That's really all you need to do to be a fantastic housesitter.
posted by amelioration at 5:46 AM on February 25, 2009 [4 favorites]

You'll be providing your friends a service which is usually paid for. The pay may not be much, and depending on the perks vs. the responsibilities, could occasionally even go the other way, and would depend to some extent on the sitter's relationship to the owners (hired stranger vs. a friend, e.g.). It sounds like this gig would be a win for both of you - they get their house watched over and cared for; it sounds like you'd be getting a pleasant six-weeks gig in the city for free.

You should probably have a conversation with them about what they expect you to cover during their absence:
- Regular plant watering
- Trash disposal
- Taking phone messages & what to tell whom about your friends' whereabouts
- Collecting mail and newspapers
- Who to contact in case of various kinds of badness - no heat, water leak, fridge failure, ...
- Whether and how to contact your friends, and under what circumstances they'd want you to
- Whether it's OK to use/eat what you find in the house (you'd replace what you finish, of course)
- Who else has keys and/or might expect to come in?

If it were me and I was not being paid but getting a free gig in a nice location, I'd expect to cover my own phone calls and groceries, use their heat and hot water as though I had to pay for them, maybe use their rice or peanut butter (but ask) and replace any that I even come close to finishing.

For their return, I'd make sure the bed was made, household laundry done & put away, something nice for breakfast and dinner left in the (clean) fridge and nice welcome home / thank you note left behind (or handed to them as you leave, if you're there when they return).
Your sense of how to be a good house guest will stand you in good stead and probably get you invited back or recommended.
Enjoy your nice, solo, city vacation!
posted by TruncatedTiller at 5:48 AM on February 25, 2009 [10 favorites]

I definitely wouldn't expect any gift or money from someone I asked to housesit - they would be the one doing me a favor. I might even be a little weirded out if they offered to pay the bills, unless the bills are ones they themselves accumulate (long distance, pay per view movies).

IMO there's nothing more to doing a good job of house-sitting than having the house in the same condition or better when the owners return. If you want to pleasantly surprise them, you could leave fresh food as biffa mentioned, or some flowers on the table. I would recommend against major clean-up tasks (steaming carpets, washing walls, moving furniture around, cleaning garage, etc.) - there's a lot of room for things to get ruined, which is horrible to have to explain later.
posted by pocams at 5:48 AM on February 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Replenish anything that you use, do some cleaning, and generally leave the place a little better than you found it and you should be fine. As BrnP84 said you're doing them a favor, that doing this favor is easy or even beneficial to you as well does not put you under any obligation to do anything other than a good job.
posted by Bango Skank at 5:49 AM on February 25, 2009

Next time I need a house sitter, I'm calling TruncatedTiller. That's a nigh-perfect answer.
posted by DWRoelands at 5:56 AM on February 25, 2009

Don't offer to pay the bills. There's no way that could be a non-awkward conversation, and no way to really work who owes how much. That said, that doesn't give you license to waste their resources--two hot baths a day, heat at 85*F the whole time, and every light burning for every minute they're gone.

You're doing them the favor, even if, on balance, it's pretty equal for what you're getting.

The number one thing I'd worry about as a householder giving it over to a sitter: don't snoop, even by accident or in the course of doing something legitimate. Confine your activities to public spaces. Don't use their closets, open their drawers, rummage through the nooks and crannies. It's one thing to search the medicine cabinet for a decongestant, but it's totally unacceptable to rummage through the drawers in the office looking for an envelope. This is for their protection, but also for yours--do you really want to find your nice, platonic friends' collection of assplugs and dildos?

In the same vein, ask where they keep extra blankets, fire extinguishers, trash bags, and other household consumables.
posted by Netzapper at 6:00 AM on February 25, 2009 [3 favorites]

Agreed. Housesitting 101: Hire cleaners to come the day before the occupants return home. Or, if you're cheap / industrious, you can do it yourself. But having the place sparkling clean, mopped, and dusted and stuff is definitely going to leave them with a nice impression. For some housesitting I did a while back, we got the house cleaned ($80), bought them a nice bowl for their kitchen ($50) and flowers ($30). It went over really well.
posted by zpousman at 6:49 AM on February 25, 2009

The only thing I'd add is if you think you might have a houseguest (like a boyfriend sleeping over or a few friends to come watch movies), talk about that with them before they go. Just so they know.
posted by lizbunny at 7:13 AM on February 25, 2009

If I asked someone to house sit I wouldn't expect anything other than that they leave the house in the same, or better, condition than the day they moved in. If they paid the utilities for the period that they were there, I wouldn't turn it down, and would probably buy them a nice bottle of wine in thanks. This is great advice, also find out their feelings on pets (your own or visitors') and to what degree you can entertain (any friends, only mutual friends, none, small-large, etc.). Change the sheets and towels the day they get back, and wash and fold the used ones. Make sure the neighbors know who you are, better still if the homeowners introduce you. Enough food for 2-3 meals in the fridge for when they get back is a lovely gesture; double it by making and freezing a casserole.

I've used house sitters several times, both in rentals and the house I own. Did I mention to please please please leave the house as clean as you found it?
posted by nax at 7:27 AM on February 25, 2009

but since they're renters, and I'm not having to cover rent of my own at the same time, I'm wondering if I should offer to chip in for bills etc?

I'm a renter, and when I have a house sitter, I pay them.

TruncatedTiller has a great answer.
posted by All.star at 7:45 AM on February 25, 2009

Whenever my mother has a housesitter in, she brings her a gift back from wherever she's gone -- she'd never expect a gift from her housesitter.

That said, there are really three sorts of housesitting scenarios:

1. Professional, paid housesitters. This is pretty clearly not you.
2. Friends or Friends of Friends who've been asked to do a favour for the homeowner / renter.
3. Friends who are really being done a favor under the guise of housesitting for people who might not normally want a housesitter.

It's not clear which of 2 or 3 you fall under. If you're 2, just make sure you do the things on TruncatedTiller's list, and expect a nice gift when the homeowners return.

If you're actually 3, and you might be, then do the things on 2 with a little more attention to detail, and maybe leave some fresh flowers for them when you go.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:07 AM on February 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

I've had people stay in my house for a month to three months when I've been gone. They paid no bills, but got no payment either. The main things I wanted from them were:

Don't break anything
Have the house clean when I get back
Put everything back where it came from
Some fresh flowers were a lovely, thoughtful gesture
posted by Nelson at 8:25 AM on February 25, 2009

Housesat for some friends last summer while they were out of town. We fed the cats, made sure to tidy up after ourselves, made sure the dishes were done right before we left, and left them a gift basket of food in the fridge upon our exit.

And we also washed the sheets and made the bed with the clean sheets the morning we left.
posted by kathryn at 9:25 AM on February 25, 2009

Cleaner than they left it, and clean sheets are a good idea. Don't drink their liquor/wine.

Ask them what their homeowner's insurance covers; if you have a friend over, and the friend slips on a rug and falls... asking them will prompt them to think about it in advance. If they are renters with no insurance, ask them to think about that. What if you leave the tub filling, slip on a rug, fall, and water damages the downstairs apt. I'm not saying don't do it, just think about it. Have fun, I hope they have 900 channels on cable.
posted by theora55 at 9:52 AM on February 25, 2009

Keep it clean, and instead of a thank you gift (which I think is inappropriate to the circumstances), get them a "Welcome Home" bottle of wine.
posted by coolguymichael at 12:23 PM on February 25, 2009

Before they leave:
- very explicit directions on who to contact in case of household problems (you or landlord or both)
- how and under what circumstances to get in touch with them
- any packages to expect and what to do with them
- ask what to do with newspapers and junkmail
- what to tell any friends who call or drop by
- let them know if you're expecting a friend or partner to stay overnight
- where to find cleaning supplies and any special cleaning rules (i.e. ceramic cooktops)
- directions for plants and/or pets
- any weird things about the house - circuits that trip, toilets that plug, sprinklers that need resetting, washing machines that only use a special powder, dishwashers that need pre-scraping, how to turn the TV off/on

When you're there and before your departure:
- clean sheets and towels, and leave a note on them to indicate that they're clean
- clean the house when you leave - including bathrooms, floors, light dusting, kitchen, wipe down inside of fridge if it got gunky while you were there
- don't break anything, don't have a party, don't be dirty
- stack the mail in one clean area or nice tidy box - I separate the junk mail from the envelopes
- don't drink any of their booze, wine, or unique foods items unless given EXPLICIT permission
- replace any food items you use more than a few times
- take garbage/recycling out frequently, and the day of your departure - don't allow bugs or mice to get happy
- leave some milk, bread, a bit of fruit, cereal, eggs, coffee, cheese - nothing fancy, but don't leave the fridge barren either
- bouquet of flowers and a little note is a nice touch

If you do all of that, you'll have VERY happy friends and probably a good recommendation to others!
posted by barnone at 12:34 PM on February 25, 2009

I've housesat often, and have had very good experiences and one horrendous experience. The good homeowner left me with an incredibly detailed binder of everything pertaining to the house, the cats, the neighbors, the neighborhood, the appliances, and so on. She also included a calendar of when to do what -- when the trash gets picked up, when to water the plants, when to mow, etc. The bad homeowners operated on a "oh just do whatever" principle that stemmed from their neurosis about actually being homeowners (instead of the squatting, sticking-it-to-the-man anarchists they aspired to be) and then were aghast to come home and find that I hadn't read their minds. So please, please communicate with the people for whom you're housesitting. About minutiae. Even if it seems picky or awkward. Find out what their routines and rules are.

Enjoy! (Who knows, you may get a gift, too -- the good homeowner paid me to housesit, left me with wine, and brought me back some tchotchkes from where she was vacationing. Nice gig ... )
posted by delayed-reaction android at 1:37 PM on February 25, 2009