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January 15, 2009 8:53 AM   Subscribe

Why don't cats fart? Or do they? Googling has been inconclusive.
posted by desjardins to Pets & Animals (74 answers total) 41 users marked this as a favorite
 
They do fart, and it is fiendishly smelly when they do. They don't do the big loud "braaaap" kind of farts like people do -- it's more of a quiet "pfffffft" and then they walk out of the room leaving you to wonder what might have crawled into the walls and died.
posted by Forktine at 8:58 AM on January 15, 2009 [15 favorites]


Cats fart.
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 9:00 AM on January 15, 2009


Oh, hell yes, cats fart. Putrid, disgusting, usually SBD farts. Yuck.
posted by alpha_betty at 9:01 AM on January 15, 2009


Oh, man, do cats ever fart. My brother brought his kittens home for Christmas, and the appropriately named Fiona Fartsalot Moore let loose silent but violent blasts of gastric malcontent like there was no tomorrow. We had to lock her in the basement during meals.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 9:01 AM on January 15, 2009 [4 favorites]


Oh, yes, they do.

And it's AWFUL.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 9:01 AM on January 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


Nthing everyone above. Our cat had a farting problem for a while and it was one of the most horrific things ever.

(And I do literally mean EVER.)
posted by Lucinda at 9:03 AM on January 15, 2009


Cats fart. I was not aware of this until we acquired Beeper. My husband & I spent a couple of nights watching tv with him between us, and each of us thinking the other one had gas. It turned out that Beeper's diet did not agree with him.
posted by kellyblah at 9:03 AM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


Sweeet mercy, do cats ever fart. My cat Rhubarb got into some nacho cheese recently... her nacho cheese farts were epic and vomit inducing....
posted by gwenlister at 9:06 AM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


Our recently rescued cat will jump up acting all cute looking for pets and suddenly you will be hit with the most noxious smell on earth- completely silently I might add.

Cats fart and it is awful when they do.
posted by zennoshinjou at 9:08 AM on January 15, 2009


Yes. And I almost think they can do it on purpose.

Cat: I wish these guests would leave. They are on my favorite chair. *PFFFT*
posted by pointystick at 9:08 AM on January 15, 2009 [6 favorites]


Nothing in this world smells like a cat fart. It's horrible.
posted by EarBucket at 9:09 AM on January 15, 2009


My mom's cat farts. Loud. Human-like. Really bizarre.
posted by nitsuj at 9:11 AM on January 15, 2009


Silent, but deadly. That is a cat fart.

We got a couple of kittens this past summer, and one evening Roswell was curled up on the couch cushion behind me, half-resting on my shoulder. And he farted, right next to my head. And...whew, yeah. Had to light a match.
posted by rtha at 9:13 AM on January 15, 2009


90-lb greyhound (gassiest dog I ever owned) vs. 11-lb Abyssinian cat: cat wins.

I can't decide whether I am more annoyed by flatulent cat or by his brother, who pukes on things as a hobby.
posted by catlet at 9:13 AM on January 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


Cats fart. And very, very occasionally, they shart, onto the screen of a Macbook Pro.

We will never speak of that incident again.
posted by avocet at 9:16 AM on January 15, 2009 [24 favorites]


I have a husband, two dogs and two cats, so any flatulence gets blamed on the first three animals in this sentence.
posted by desjardins at 9:16 AM on January 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


Yup, terrible thing that is.

One of my cats growing up would fart uncontrollably a mere hour or so after eating 'Pounce' brand cat snacks, so of course for every family gathering my wisecracking uncle would sneak in a new supply and lets the fun begin!
posted by Jezztek at 9:16 AM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Cats fart like ninjas. Silently and it kills.
posted by dabitch at 9:17 AM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Google "feline flatulence."

From kittencare.com: "Flatulence is almost always the result of either air swallowing or of the bacterial fermentation of food in the intestines. Liquid diets cause more air to be swallowed. The air then travels through the intestinal track and, well, you know the rest…You can reduce air swallowing by having your humans feed you dry food in small quantities, several times a day. As for bacterial fermentation, this is caused by food not moving through the bowels fast enough. Avoid any and all foods with milk or milk by-products, since most cats are lactose intolerant.

"Also, ensure that your people play with you since exercise is important in maintaining a healthy intestinal track. A healthy digestive system has less fermentation, and, well you know the rest…"

I call my orange cat "Stinky Pete" for a reason.
posted by MonkeyToes at 9:19 AM on January 15, 2009


just as I was thinking how lucky I am that my cat doesn't fart (I also thought they didn't) catlet mentions the puking hobby. Durn cat.

Perhaps it's diet? Cat specific, of course.
posted by agentwills at 9:19 AM on January 15, 2009


One of my cats looks back in shock when she farts, and then runs away.
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 9:24 AM on January 15, 2009 [24 favorites]


Cats fart. Salty farts.
posted by fire&wings at 9:24 AM on January 15, 2009


You can always tell when a cat has farted (before the stench reaches you) because it'll go from being all curled up in a circle to stretching so its head is as far away from its arse as it can get.
posted by essexjan at 9:26 AM on January 15, 2009 [4 favorites]


Can't....breath....laughing.....too...hard.

Yes, our cat does this. Infrequently, thank god.
posted by Happy Dave at 9:33 AM on January 15, 2009


Yeah, growing up our cat definitely pooted every now and then. Though I think dogs farts are funnier. Somehow, I always get blamed though.

And Beeper is the best name for a farting cat ever.
posted by Grither at 9:44 AM on January 15, 2009


Cats don't fart. They have the vapors.
posted by netbros at 9:49 AM on January 15, 2009 [5 favorites]


"Also, ensure that your people play with you since exercise is important in maintaining a healthy intestinal track. A healthy digestive system has less fermentation, and, well you know the rest…"

I think I'll tell my cat that. "Bored, huh? I'll have my people play with you. Can we pencil you in for some Chasing Bottlecaps Around this afternoon from 5:15 to 5:30?"
posted by Spatch at 9:50 AM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh Lord, do cats ever fart. (Oddly enough though, our guinea pigs' farts stink worse than the cat's.)
posted by sarcasticah at 9:56 AM on January 15, 2009


My (now deceased, but not due to flatulence) cat Artemis easily earned the nickname Fartymis.
posted by mcbeth at 9:57 AM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh, dear god cats do fart. They just do it silently so they can still pretend they're all dignified while they run into the next room and laugh.

Sorry, Klang.
posted by Space Kitty at 9:58 AM on January 15, 2009


One of ours does all the time. The others, not so much that it's noticeable.
posted by Lynsey at 10:06 AM on January 15, 2009


My Muffin farts ALL THE TIME. More than me. And that's saying something.
posted by deezil at 10:11 AM on January 15, 2009


I give my cat milk (special cat milk from the store) every so often, simply because it makes her fart. I get a good laugh out of it
posted by phrakture at 10:17 AM on January 15, 2009


> Cats fart. And very, very occasionally, they shart, onto the screen of a Macbook Pro.

Avocet, Your cat saw it's reflection in the glossy screen and marked. They do it to low-hanging pictures and mirrors too.
posted by datacenter refugee at 10:26 AM on January 15, 2009


Our cat seems to fart at the same time that he is jumping up onto the couch, into our laps (which essentially gets him shoved right back off).

Makes sense that the muscle contractions associated with the jump might also push out the air biscuit.
posted by tdischino at 10:28 AM on January 15, 2009


You have them on your lap. Cozy, warm. Massage their tummy. They curl and purr. Twist around, chew lazily on you thumb. You massage again. More curling, purring, even drooling. Then there is that moment when there is no sound. Like in a creepy movie. Then you get flying cats.
posted by Namlit at 10:39 AM on January 15, 2009 [4 favorites]


The funniest thing I ever saw was when our dog was sitting on the floor and farted. He jumped and started looking around to see where it came from.. I can still laugh thinking about the look on his face.
posted by Relly70 at 10:43 AM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


As my father says, they fart in technicolor.
posted by pokeedog at 10:51 AM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


I have two cats, and, as far as I know, I have never experienced a feline fart. Must have found just the right food for them I guess.

But this reminds me: When I was a kid we had a dog who could clear the room with his farts. It wasn't until many years later that I learned that his flatulence problem stemmed from the fact that when money was tight my parents would feed him Cheerios.
posted by crickets at 10:55 AM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Who says Mefites can't have a consensus on something?
posted by desjardins at 10:56 AM on January 15, 2009 [9 favorites]


Cats fart and they make awesome scapegoats.
posted by romakimmy at 11:07 AM on January 15, 2009


Mine did it in my face once. RIGHT IN MY FACE. Tail up, standing on the back of couch, I turned around to pet him as he walked off and *pwhoooosh*
posted by Kloryne at 11:09 AM on January 15, 2009


crickets : as far as I know, I have never experienced a feline fart.

crickets, you would know if you did. Trust me. Its like slamming your hand in a door. When it happens there is no question.
posted by gwenlister at 11:12 AM on January 15, 2009 [5 favorites]


I recall reading somewhere that all mammals fart.
posted by lordrunningclam at 11:19 AM on January 15, 2009


I gave my cat the honorary last name McStinky because of her eye-wateringly bad kitten farts, which for the most part cleared up once she was weaned off the kitten formula. But sometimes they return, like when she's had a duck and sweet potato dinner and is on my lap purring contentedly, poised to make me cough and gag and turn on the fan.
posted by johnofjack at 11:28 AM on January 15, 2009


Cats do indeed fart and it smells pretty much like one would expect aerosolized cat shit to smell. To my mind, it's one of the most horrible animal scents out there, a near perfect silent biological weapon (and I say this as someone whose dog was sprayed by a skunk yesterday).

In many decades of cat stewardship, I've only heard one cat fart. Unfortunately, I also felt it because I was sort of lightly spanking my cat on the butt (don't judge, he liked it) and after a few minutes of happy cat flogging, he brapped out a little bubble right into my hand. It was awful. And warm. I was convinced my palm smelled for days.
posted by jamaro at 11:41 AM on January 15, 2009 [4 favorites]


Not only do cats fart, but THEY blame it on YOU.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:57 AM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


My cat farts so that we see farticles.
posted by peagood at 12:14 PM on January 15, 2009


Googling has been inconclusive.

Googling is lucky to never have been in the same room with my wife's previous cat.
posted by malocchio at 12:19 PM on January 15, 2009 [6 favorites]


Our cat once licked up some tomato sauce from a plate, and the resulting onslaught was so bad we had to open all the doors and windows. In the middle of winter.
posted by Soliloquy at 12:26 PM on January 15, 2009


Oh good heavens, cats fart. My last cat, Graham Chapman, reacted very badly to poultry in his diet and he would apparently hop into your lap to purr, but it was really to cover up the farting.

This cat also could open the fridge and one time ate a left over black bean burger. Let me just say that beans affect cats in the same way as people, except that the gas acquires a feline accent and not in a good way.
posted by plinth at 12:30 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


everything farts
except kangaroos.
posted by Z1LCH at 12:30 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Not only do kangaroos fart, their farts may save the world!
posted by jasper411 at 12:41 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


One of our two cats farts audibly occasionally. He's portly, which may or may not have something to do with it.
posted by fidelity at 12:43 PM on January 15, 2009


So, a follow up question: Why don't cats ever not puke?
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 1:03 PM on January 15, 2009 [6 favorites]


It is absolutely essential that we maintain the fiction that cats fart. I take very seriously any attempts to deviate from this party line.

One of the greats at perpetrating this fiction, of course, was T.S. Eliot. As he wrote (and I quote):

When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of his butt shooting flame.

posted by Clyde Mnestra at 1:23 PM on January 15, 2009 [10 favorites]


Clyde wins.
posted by Lou Stuells at 1:33 PM on January 15, 2009


Man, I have weird cats. I've had one for 7 years. The first four years, it was just him and me in a studio apartment, so I'm quite confident he never farted in my presence. I got the husband three years ago and the kitten two years ago, but we already had two dogs, so now it's impossible to tell who's done what. I can only remember cleaning up cat puke twice in the last three years. Dog puke, dog shit, dog piss, and dog farts... those are LEGION in our household.
posted by desjardins at 1:54 PM on January 15, 2009


One of our cats, Eddie, farts as a kind of invisible noxious defence shield. If he gets a fright, or is in a tight spot, he farts this horrible impenetrable dome of stink, like a squid squirting ink into the sea to befuddle a predator.
posted by lottie at 2:00 PM on January 15, 2009


desjardins: What are you feeding your cats? I must know and copy you immediately. My cats vomit and fart as though it's their full time job.
posted by lottie at 2:05 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


lottie, your cat may not be farting. He may be "...spontaneously express[ing] their anal glands when alarmed, much as skunks do."
posted by rtha at 2:12 PM on January 15, 2009


We had two kitty brothers who were notorious for their gassy stink. One day, my husband lit a cigarette, then all of a sudden, the older cat jumped from the arm of his chair about 15 feet to the other side of the room. Just blasted off and ran out of the house.

Then we noticed a most vicious odor. I mean, the farts had stunk but this drove us out of the house.

Near as we could tell hubby had lit the 'gas' and the cat...took off.
posted by lysdexic at 2:48 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wow, I didn't think cats farted. My two never do. They only eat dry food, though -- they won't eat wet food, as much as I've tried to get them to. Apparently I am quite lucky.
posted by sugarfish at 2:50 PM on January 15, 2009


My wife has nicknamed our kitty "Fruity McTootypoots." I'd say he hasn't been quite as farty lately, though. Maybe because we switched him over to Harmony Farms indoor formula dry food.
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 3:13 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Dry food here. The older one is prone to crystals, so we started feeding him Royal Canin Urinary SO. We tried to keep the younger one on IAMS, but old cat steals young cat's food, and it was easier in the end to feed them both the same thing. Young cat is also male, and males are more susceptible to UTIs, so it works as a preventative. We don't feed them wet food very often; young one doesn't like it anyway.

Remember, pictures are obligatory in cat threads. Older cat. Younger cat.
posted by desjardins at 3:22 PM on January 15, 2009


mine farted today! yowzaa!
posted by snugglebunny at 3:35 PM on January 15, 2009


I had a lovely cat when I was younger. He used to curl up on my pillow, around my head, at night. The first cat fart I ever became aware of woke me in the middle of the night. Woken up by a stench that stunned me. From my cat's ass. Mere inches from my face.

Cats fart.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:37 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


I have never noticed a fart from my cat ever. Or, if you prefer, my cat's farts don't stink. I will bow to the experiences of all those in this thread with flatulent cats, but honestly, until this question was asked, I always thought cats were just a convenient vehicle for the carrying of blame.

Oh, wow, what's the chances? I think my cat just farted.

barking spiders, ducks
posted by cjorgensen at 5:47 PM on January 15, 2009


I've never heard or smelled the farting of my cat. His diet and environment have never been consistent, and yet despite the fact that I have probably greeted him with my own vicious smells, he has never returned the favor.

Part of me wonders- does the breed of cat matter?
posted by localhuman at 7:59 PM on January 15, 2009


If your cat farts it is because your cat is not getting the right food and/or exercise.

Never, ever, ever feed a cat wet food. Cats should get dry food in small amounts three times a day.

Also, you should exercise your cat for at least a half hour with a laser pointer or something similar every other day.

If you can't do these things, you will have a sad, obese, farty cat and I won't feel bad for you. But I will offer to initiate your cat into the Balrog Cat School of Cat Health Training and your cat will be returned fart-free and thinner for a meager $699, U.S.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:51 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


Our two cats farted like crazy when they were kittens, but we haven't heard or smelled a toot out of them for years, now. We feed 'em wet breakfast, dry during the afternoon, then wet at night for dinner. (Oh - Mrs. Blahtsk points out that the wet food is grain free.)
posted by blahtsk at 10:31 PM on January 15, 2009


Come to think of it, the green clouds only began after we started giving him pouch food to disguise medication.

Now that he's finished up his meds, maybe we can breathe free again!
posted by Space Kitty at 10:37 PM on January 15, 2009


Not only do cats fart, I've got one that's bulimic.

If I'm home late from work, if I push him from my lap at a time he feels is 'inopportune', if company stays past (his) welcome, if one of his brothers hits the bed and gets into under-the-cover cuddle position before he does, in short, if anything upsets him sufficiently, he'll huff (and it is an audible, disgusted *hrumph*), trot off to the food bowl and gorge. Then, like clockwork, about ten-to-fifteen later, we hear the tell-tale *hruk-hruk-Hurk-Hurk-HOURKSQH*.

Then begins the 'whose turn is it now?' game:
**Ok, Whose turn is it now?
*We'll, it's probably mine, but you're the one who (scared/ angered/ rebuffed/ whatever) him.
**What the hell has that got to do with it? He's your cat.
*Oh, he's my cat when he's bad, but he's your little ball of fun when he's good, right?
**Fine, I'll get it - later, after it hardens. You know that when it's still warm it's disgusting.
*Yeah, but chances are that you'll happen along when one of the other boys are having a, shall we say, midnight snack?
**Eww, stoppit! Fine! I'm going!

Ah, good times.
posted by eclectist at 1:06 AM on January 16, 2009 [1 favorite]


Fuckin' a. Farts are funny.
posted by crickets at 3:13 PM on January 16, 2009


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