November 2019 Archives
November 30
Speaker damage?
I just bought a new car with an excellent 12 speaker stock Bose sound system. When I connected my phone to it via Bluetooth, the sound was quite low until I turned up phone volume, but then all of a sudden it got really loud. I turned it down within about 2 seconds, but for my peace of mind, is it possible to cause damage to the speakers in such a short time? [more inside]
How can I feel okay about throwing money at a problem for a year?
So, in my last post I detailed a bunch of worries I have about my mom's future, from the costs of assisted living to what to do with her home. I've since calmed down, slightly, I've realized that a lot of these problems are things we can throw money at for a year until I return to town in 1 year. However, it's going to be an expensive year and I feel bad about spending (or my mom spending the money) on these things. How can I be okay with it?! [more inside]
G tube for elderly Dad?
My dad is is 80 years old, has parkinsons, and has been doing great until he hit a quick and steep decline 2 weeks ago. The doctor is suggesting installing a feeding tube in his stomach, but I'm skeptical. Any thoughts or anecdotes would be appreciated. [more inside]
Drivable mountain destinations in Nor Cal on 12/1/19?
I'm trying to take a day trip by car in northern California to get to the mountains tomorrow, on 12/1/19. It looks like the roads are closed to Tahoe and Yosemite and/or winter storms are coming. Where can I go to take a long drive with a beautiful girl? Looking for natural beauty at it's finest. [more inside]
Fine art scanning
I need very hi res scans of paintings I’ve done; higher than even with a good DSLR. I need to make large prints from these. The largest paintings are 16x20. Prices for this are very expensive—around $100 per image. Can anyone recommend a quality but more affordable service? I can mail the art in, and I don’t mind waiting a while.
Strategies for leaving a note for myself in a library book for 20 years
So I came across an interesting suggestion I want to try: writing myself a letter, then leaving it in a library book for 20 years to come back and get. But I need some strategies. I know some libraries semi-regularly pull unread books. And I don't want that. But if I pick a a higher traffic book it might get read and removed. So what's a book that a librarian won't cull even if no one reads it? Also should I go with a big library (NYPL Main one) or a small one in a random locale (small town in Finland)?
The lonely, lonely air fryer
I received an air fryer that's still in the box because I just don't know what to make in it. Lend me your favorite air fryer recipes and tips? [more inside]
The baby bear of bags: not too big, not too small but just right!
I'm looking for recommendations to replace my Foerenkla shoulder bag. I would like something similar in type (cross body with zippered pockets), size (medium!) and materials (canvas/fabric) but maybe a big less casual. I am starting a new job next week so I'm willing to spend a bit and maybe get something besides basic black as a present to myself! Tom Bihn? Chrome? Timbuk2? is the perfect bag out there?
Can you explain this Babylonian math problem?
The link in the below explanation shows a math problem from thousands of years ago, in which someone appeared to have made a mistake. Can you explain the question and the mistake? [more inside]
Converting large HTML files to PDF or Word
I'm having trouble converting a large HTML file (around 35MB) to PDF or Word. I have a Mac with 4GB of RAM. I've tried wkhtmltopdf but it didn't work. [more inside]
Formatting automatically numbered chapter headings in Word 2019
I'm trying to create automatically numbered chapter headings in a word document that are formatted like you see here (PDF). I want both the automatic numbering and the line/paragraph breaks between "CHAPTER X" and "Title of Chapter" like you see in the linked document. [more inside]
My boyfriend might have (undiagnosed)high-functioning Asperger's
As I was telling my therapist some things that have come up frequently with my boyfriend, she asked if he was on the spectrum. I hadn't considered this, but we might be breaking up because of his troubles with communication. I'm not here to diagnose him or make excuses and I don't expect you to do either. But maybe some of you can tell me if this rings true or not. [more inside]
New powder vanity
I’m looking for a bathroom vanity (24” or 30”) that is better quality than IKEA/wayfair, but not as expensive as restoration hardware. Our style is modern/industrial (clean lines, etc.). Any thoughts on unusual places we can order from? I’m really hoping to snag a cyber Monday deal! Thanks!
NYC Shopping filter: Mom Visiting from out-of-town
My mom (Late 50s, Midwestern, Lovely) is visiting me in NYC next week and has requested a shopping expedition for a chic, not-too formal dress that she can wear to dress-up type events like an upcoming new year's eve party or she has or when she goes to Chicago for a play and a nice dinner.
Not mother of the bride, not office wear, just something that looks great but is also easy and tasteful. [more inside]
Good portable food near Zurich HB and Paris Gare du Nord
I'm going on a couple of long railway journeys across Europe soon, and I'd like to buy myself some tasty things for each leg. Getting portable food around stations is easy, but tasty portable food can be harder. I'd like your recs for where to get the good stuff within a few minutes walk of either Zurich HB or Paris Gare du Nord. Baked goods are always a winner, but I'm interested in anything! [more inside]
How to cut up an old coal burning furnace in my basement
Ancient coal burning gravity furnace. I need it gone. It's huge and weighs a ton. Far bigger than the doorway, it has to be cut into pieces to get it out. It laughs at my reciprocating saw. And there's no room to swing a sledgehammer down there. Suggestions? [more inside]
No more 🎶 Here Comes Santa Claus 🎶
With the Christmas season almost here, I find myself wishing I had any knowledge of, like, fiddler trios, or classical 12-string guitar players, or basically any instrumentalist of any genre who has released Christmas / winter solstice music. Can you recommend any? What's your favorite Christmas album? [more inside]
New router time: stock firmware? DD-WRT? Tomato? OpenWRT?
Looking for a new router for a shared house, including two home offices. I could go with one of the picks from The Wirecutter, but should I? Or do you recommend a router that's compatible with DD-WRT/Tomato/OpenWRT (which one)? Specific models and firmware versions welcome. I've used Tomato for the past few years. Aside from wifi: need at least four ethernet ports, one of which will connect to another router (which still works) for a different wifi network in a different room. [more inside]
help me buy less stuff
I enjoy buying things for myself... and I hate this fact about myself! For me, retail therapy really is therapy. How can I change this around and become more thoughtful about my purchases? I don't want to be a slave to capitalism, but acquiring new 'stuff' makes me feel good. How do I stop wanting things? [more inside]
driving in the rain
When you're on the highway and it rains so hard you can't even see the car right ahead of you what do you do? [more inside]
Date night between Tewkesbury and Putney
I'm looking at a bunch of places that look like really nice options for a quiet and dimly lit dinner, but I don't know how comfortable they are with two dudes being romantically inclined in their company. It's not an easy thing to telephone up and ask. Do you have any suggestions? [more inside]
November 29
Professional Fairy Godmother
How do I become a Fairy Godmother for a living? [more inside]
New to steam heat and I know nothing
I just bought a house with steam radiator heat. I've never had this kind of heating system in my life, and I don't know the first thing about it. Is there anything I should know about maintenance or any tips for keeping it running efficiently? [more inside]
Expressing inner-life without my employer noticing?
I am a cis queer dude, in my mid 30s and enjoying expressing my queer-ness in new fun ways that make me happy. But this is difficult as I am not comfortable doing so in a way that is super obvious for work related reasons. I am looking for more ways to enjoy this part of my life, and would appreciate your tips! [more inside]
best text by Jung on dreams
What is a good short text by Carl Jung to learn about his dream theory? [more inside]
Why would a King County Sheriff's SUV be driving around Copenhagen?
I was walking around Copenhagen, Denmark this afternoon and saw a King County (Washington State, USA) Sheriff's department black-and-white SUV driving around. It had the Martin Luther King Jr. logo and everything. It was from something like the traffic department, or traffic control department, I can't remember exactly. [more inside]
Family bonding ideas with an only child
My husband and I have a nine year old daughter. The three of us all have great 2-way relationships, but I find it hard to feel a sense of cohesion as a family. When the three of us are together, it's hard to all feel connected. Do other families of 3 find this? What has helped develop a sense of cohesion for parents with a single child? [more inside]
How to support new parents in another city?
My brother and his partner very recently had their first child, and I am unable to visit them for the foreseeable future. I'm guessing that it might feel more isolating or challenging to manage a newborn when they are on their own in a city without a nearby network of friends and family. If you've ever been in the position of raising a child without easy access to a "village", was there anything that worked especially well for you? And particularly, are there any products or services that I could send from afar that would be genuinely helpful? [more inside]
Plus Size Onesie PJ
On the holiday gift hunt for a plus size women's onesie pajama. Challenge level - size 4xl or 5xl, preferred with shipping in Canada, but will ship to Canada if that is the way to go. The few I have found only go to a 3xl.
Any hints on places to look?
Supporting UK Labour from overseas
I'm British, live overseas and would like to increase the chances of a Labour win as much as I can. How do I do this? [more inside]
How not to stand in line? (disability)
Any good strategies for a person with a disability to avoid standing in line? [more inside]
DIY kit/platform/??? for semi-autonomous rolling toy?
Mini-cres (8 m.o.) has this electronic rolling toy that ostensibly avoids obstacles and randomly wanders. Trouble is, it gets hung up on obstacles/surface changes really easily. I'd love to use a RasberryPi or Arduino project kit/platform to make her a toy that does something similar, but more robustly. I mean, even the Roomba navigates way more reliably than this thing (unsurprising I guess at the price point). Any recommendations? [more inside]
How to deal with harmful editors or supervisors that don't listen to you
I've started my first job out of law school in a writing heavy area, and I am having a very difficult time with some of my editors. This question applies to writers who feel their work is made worse by an editor, and employees who feel their own judgments and experience aren't respected by a supervisor. Specific issues listed below. [more inside]
Protecting the name of our theatre festival
Our theatre school runs an annual theatre festival. It's become quite successful but what's to stop someone from appropriating the name and using it? How would we protect against that?
Historical weather API
Looking for first hand experience with a free weather API where I can pull recent weather information for different cities. [more inside]
Where's the Deep State when you need it?
Today is Buy Nothing Day, and to show The Man we're on board, we're keeping the television off all day. But will any data-collecting entity even notice? Is this akin to hollering into the wind?
Gift advice for a 7yo Disney Princess lover
Hi all, I'm doing a charity gift thing where we were given a kid to buy gifts for. This kid's big gift is a Disney Princess travel suitcase set, which we'll get. I'm looking for other suggestions she might like, based on this admittedly limited profile. [more inside]
What do I want for Festivus?
I hate cooking, food prep, meal planning, basically everything that must happen before food goes in my mouth. So do I want one of those newfangled electronic pressure cookers (Instapot, Ninja Foodi, etc)? [more inside]
Withholding tax question for side part-time job.
I have a part-time, seasonal job (retail) in addition to my full-time job (actually laid off, but still on payroll through January). I have a few questions about what I should set as my tax withholding. Yes, I know, YANML, but my question should be straightforward enough to not require legal advice. [more inside]
Get list of certain buisnesses along a route
I want to help a friend job searching, and she is looking for a list of doctors offices reachable in say 30 min with public transport from her home. Is there a somewhat easy way to do this? [more inside]
Trying to find the theme song for Ninguém Tá Olhando (Nobody’s Looking)
One cat has a theme song and the other has proven more challenging. Bear with me here...
Yes. We’re those weirdos who have cats and write theme songs for them.
Or at least, we have a theme song for one, and have been trying to write one for the other cat for a couple of years (man, the more I try to explain/describe this, the dumber I feel)... [more inside]
November 28
I think my elderly mother has to go into assisted living...
I'm going through a lot right now: new job, moving to a new city, AND my 74 year-old mother has been hospitalized since last week. From talks with her doctors and nurses, it really seems like she'll be ending up in some sort of assisted living facility. I'm moving in a WEEK and my head is spinning, I don't know where to begin. In particular, I'm worried about the money aspect of it all. [more inside]
Steam games off external hard drive on Surface Pro 6
I have a Surface Pro 6 with Windows 10. I'm thinking of getting an external hard drive to install PC games (mainly Steam games) on there and play them off that. Is this possible? [more inside]
How many calories an I burning in a bike stand?
I have a vintage Blackburn Magtrakstand. The bike is held upright by the rear axle with the 5 - magnetic resistance settings for/against the rear bike wheel. I'm trying to know how many calories I'm burning at each setting if I'm pedaling at a set speed in a specific chain ring and cogset. Does such a calculator or chart exist? Blackburn doesn't have one, but lots of people use these trainers. There must be something. [more inside]
Where can I learn more about Miokonin?
Alan Watts describes Pure Land Buddhism. He indicates something happens to followers of Amitabha. He says, "Miokonin in Japanese means a marvelous fine man. But the Miokonin in is a special type of personality who corresponds in the West to the holy fool in Russian spirituality, or to something like the Franciscan in Catholic spirituality."
Where can I learn more about Miokonin? [more inside]
Bluetooth Adapter Without The Bloop Bloop Bloop
I have an Amazon Basics Bluetooth audio adapter (similar to this) attached to a small amplifier which I use to stream/ play music from my phone. It works exactly as designed, but makes a loud bloop bloop bloop every time the phone connects/ disconnects. Is there a (reasonably priced) adapter which doesn't do this, or for which the bloop bloop bloop can be turned off or down (the linked adapter also bloops, yes)?
Idle moments without a smartphone?
My 14 year old daughter wants to cut down the time she spends on her smartphone. What can she do in stead, while she's waiting for the bus, waiting for the teacher, sitting on a park bench while the dog does his business, taking a break from homeworks, etc... You know, all those moments when you just grab your phone and scroll through Instagram, go through your Snapchats or take a BuzzFeed quiz? [more inside]
Help me name this video game from the late 80s-early 90s.
I'm at my parents house going through boxes of old ephemera and came across a few sheets of computer paper with notes from a video game written on it. It would have been played on a PC, probably via pirated floppy, sometime in the late 80s (perhaps a little later). [more inside]
Sewers of Mefi, WWYD: repair vintage Husqvarna or buy a new Janome?
We took our second hand, old Husqvarna Viking 2000 for a servicing...turns out the thing is in desperate need of a full overhaul, which starts at $250 (and could be more, if things look bad in there). The woman at the shop (a well reviewed place in Toronto) mentioned another option would simply be to buy a new all metal Janome, around the same price. I’m not a serious sewer, just hemming and repairs, tapering jeans. What would you advise?
Ya who?
Almost every day lately, I get a single message from Yahoo with a sign-in code. [more inside]
Cooking fail advice please
I screwed up and used a CAN of coconut milk instead of a CUP, in a pumpkin pie filling. Can I recover from this?? [more inside]
How do I finally recover from having mental breakdowns?
I have finally accepted that I am going through another breakdown. It is not mild depression from job searching nor malaise from current world events. So it's time to stop, reflect, and make some serious changes. [more inside]
How and when to transplant oak saplings?
I have about a dozen tiny (1 ft high) and medium (2-3ft high) oak saplings scattered around my yard in places where they will not be able to mature. Could any mefi friends of plants and trees point me the right direction for resources or give me an orientation? [more inside]
Why is my cat afraid of turkey?
My older cat is terrified of certain cooking smells, and is currently crouched downstairs in a corner meowing in fear. Could this be a medical issue, or is it a somewhat common fear? [more inside]
Where can one purchase a rock tumbler in Toronto or Hamilton?
Where can one purchase a rock tumbler in Toronto or Hamilton, Ontario? Are there stores other than Mastermind? All the stores I once knew have gone out of business. Would prefer to avoid Amazon at all costs. Thank you!
Seattle area outings, with crutches and/or borrowed wheeled assistance?
My 19 year old son had knee surgery last week. His medical crew want him to be up and moving, to get better at using crutches and generally for exercise/circulation benefits. He’s also starting to get pretty bored with the same four walls. So, I’m looking for outing ideas in the Seattle area that aren’t too exhausting while upright, or where we can rent or borrow a wheelchair or scooter. [more inside]
Loss of taste
Dental hygienist used a topical numbing agent on my bottom gums in the front before using the ultrasonic. I told her I was sensitive to it, so she offered to numb my gums where she intended to use it. Since I was lying prone and maybe a little inverted, I think I got a lot of the agent on my tongue and down my throat. This was over about a half hour. I noticed that day I couldn’t taste much, but now it is a full two days later and I still can’t really taste anything. I’d say I have about 80% diminution in my sense of taste. Would this be due to nerve damage or have my taste buds been destroyed? Chocolate tastes like cardboard. I cannot taste sweet very well. Is my taste likely to return? This has never happened to me before.
Am I a monster?
I am trying to figure out how often I need to launder my clothes in order to reduce my impact on the environment and also because I am lazy. I don’t trust the cleaning institute’s advice because it’s the cleaning institute. Google tells me I need to launder a T-shirt after a single use. Traditionally, unless it is smelly, I will wear a T-shirt twice before I toss it into the hamper. I don’t tend to be especially sweaty. Am I monster? Either way, is the single-use rule truly necessary and if so, why?
How did I Ms. This is class?
Ok I am speaking purely from professional/etiquette standpoint.
If you are penning a note, letter, or other correspondence to a female you are not sure of her status, but you dont want to be looked at as awkward by using her first name (a neighbor perhaps or the lady who sits in your desk for the morning shift) how would you address it; Miss, Ms., or Mrs? [more inside]
How to unlock an iPhone?
How to unlock an iPhone. Difficulty level: no other Apple products in the household [more inside]
Substitutes for ranitidine
Most ranitidine is in recall or has been removed from shelves due to recent discovery of possible carcinogenic contaminants. I've been on it for a couple of years (per my doctor's orders) to control GERD. YANMD, I am not you and my mileage may vary but have you also been on it long term and what did your doctor switch you to? I'm not taking it as much as I once used to and my GERD is better but I'd like to know what generally is being recommended that people take instead.
November 27
Uma-Me
Dear MeFi foodies! Every time I go nuts about food, it involves umami. Can you be a chef in my imaginary themed restaurant and create a two- or three course feast to let me revel in umami? [more inside]
Irish Funeral Poem
Seeking a similar poem and sentiment for a memorial service. Non-religious. [more inside]
Seeking Android calendar app with specific layout
Can you help me find a replacement calendar app for Android that has a "continuous" view/layout? [more inside]
model language for asking medical providers to tell me what they'll do?
I have what I dearly hope is a higher than usual rate of medical providers trying to do the wrong procedure on me. So far, nothing worse than X-raying the wrong body part, or drawing the wrong blood samples. Could the hive mind suggest some polite phrasing for asking medical providers to review their orders with me before they execute them, without getting me labelled a difficult patient? [more inside]
Thanksgiving Emergency
Please suggest innocuous conversation topics similar to "last book you read" and "something you cooked this year" for my family Thanksgiving dinner. [more inside]
What should I watch this weekend?
Please recommend me something engrossing to watch this weekend. About the only things I’ve seen in years are This Is Us and the Romanoffs and Doc Martin, but those are good examples of the things I like. I like relationship stuff, set in the real world (not a fantasy world), in the present or past (not the future). Bonus points for interesting interiors. No real violence please. I only have Prime but I could sign up for a trial with another service.
The easiest garlic chicken linguine recipe ever
Could somebody help me find, or just tell me, a VERY simple recipe involving linguine, chicken, and garlic, in the fewest number of pots & pans? I've looked at dozens of recipes and they all seem way overly complicated. I don't want to wing it because last time I did that it came out bad. [more inside]
Why are my plant buds dying?
Two of my plants sprouted new leaves... and as soon as they started unfurling I realized they were already dying. Help? [more inside]
San Diego to San Fran... I need a plan.
We are a family that only gets to take a trip every couple years (so I have lots of pressure to make it great!). I am planning on taking my family to California in April or June 2020 for 10 days. They've never been and last time I was there I was staying in the back of a '79 Celica. I really want to see the best of California. What would you say we shouldn't miss? [more inside]
Is there a meaningful afterlife for VCR movie tapes?
I'm emptying the house of a very elderly aunt who has 100+ VCR tapes - boxes and bookcases full - and I'm looking for a solution that is not a landfill. They are all commercially produced movies, like Gene Kelly, Shirley Temple, Judy Garland, and with a special selection of sentimental Christmas movies. All tapes are mainstream, though dated, productions. But no matter the stellar quality of the performances, if the technology is defunct, I'm not sure what to do with them. Any ideas?
Mustache Pageant Colour Commentary
I am on the Movember committee at my work place. My colleagues have decided there will be a mustache pageant to wrap things up. I am the designated MC.
Can you provide a series of one-liners that I can add after I introduce each mo bro? Must be safe for work, and ideally funny - but I refuse to be cruel. Can you help me fill in the blanks? [more inside]
Which tablet should I gift?
I want to gift a tablet to a technophobe 65-year-old who likes to do some simple web browsing and check his Yahoo mail. Which one should I get him? Parameters inside. [more inside]
No! You're NOT saying it RIGHT!
So, you can't say that to a 3 year old OBVIOUSLY... but what do you do/say? My two boys are sensory and the youngest (3) is having *slight* speech/language challanges. I took him for an assesment, but afterwards I was really none the wiser. They kind of helped me on the speech part... but the language part "look mommy, I'm opened the fridge!" Well, I don't know what to do. I'm just glad he's talking and not screaming! [more inside]
Court-Ordered Mental Health Evaluation in NYC?
I'm involved with an abuse case out of state, and slapped the abuser who pressed charges. I admitted everything immediately, and was charged with a misdemeanor. My penance is a small fine. But the prosecutor's office also require me to get a two-session mental health evaluation to prove I'm not nuts. Where can I find someone to provide me with one in NYC, relatively quickly, and preferably low cost or paid by Medicaid? [more inside]
What's an excellent applied ethics text with good scenarios and cases?
I'd like to shift from a heavily discipline-specific applied ethics text to one that has better general cross-context applicability. Further details below... [more inside]
Excel question: COUNTIF to count cells containing expired dates
I would like to be able to count the number of cells in an array that contain a date more than 3 years old. I would like it to be dynamic so that the expiration date changes in relation to the current date. The following does not work: =COUNTIF(Table1[Date],"<TODAY()-1095") Could someone point me in the right direction?
MMQB replacement?
I'm looking for a regular weekly single page or article summary of the NFL game action and goings on. Preferably something well written and a little quirky and amusing rather than just straight up facts. I really don't want to have to click through dozens of articles like what SI's Monday Morning Quarterback has become. Anybody have any good recommendations?
Making a solo Christmas season nice
The last two Christmases I have done different things. The first one I went to my sisters. On the plus side, I enjoyed the lovely Xmas meal and the chat. On the minus, I had to go through on 24th and return on 26th, and it felt like I ran out of things to say. Also I'm 50 and just really like sleeping in my own bed, the sofa was uncomfy. Last year actually worked out better - I ordered Chinese takeaway for Christmas Day, and was able to visit my sister and return the same day on January 3rd or 4th and still have plenty of time to chat.
I feel very lucky the online friends I chat with everyday by voice, a few will be on their own at Xmas Day and we will be chatting and have a quiz etc same as last year. I have set aside in my mind some money to make xmas nice but am not sure what to spend it on yet. [more inside]
What should I be doing about my mom's abusive roommate?
My mom is in a shared room in an assisted living facility. Her roommate is verbally abusive and harrasses my mother. What should I be doing? [more inside]
My dog and I both need to sleep
My 13-year-old dog is in declining health and essentially on hospice care but her issues are well-managed during the day. She‘s increasingly having trouble sleeping at night, though, and I’m feeling like I’m running out of options for managing it. [more inside]
Big Lettuce out N $bn
There has been another contamination of romaine with e.coli. I have questions regarding how / if costs for the disruption of production are recouped at different levels. [more inside]
Thing that goes thump in the night?
Weird noise in our house. Can you help identify? [more inside]
How do I view several windows at once on my Mac?
I have always been able to view multiple windows at once on my matchbook air. But suddenly, something's changed, and when I want to view one of the open windows that's minimized in the dock, the current screen is whisked off to the side and I only see the new window. Not sure what I did to bring about this terrible state of affairs, but how do I undo it? I'm not talking about seeing all open screens in miniature. I mean I want to see multiple full size screens on top of each other. Thanks!
Catholic funeral reading delivery
In a few hours I'm going to be conducting the reading at a Catholic funeral. I've been volunteered and am happy to do it but I am very much an atheist and haven't heard it before so I don't know how to deliver it or which words should have inflections. YouTube isn't helping in a brief search, please help. [more inside]
Dog Attack! Help us in real time!
My sister's geriatric Cattle Dog was just attacked by a Great Dane. She is texting me in a panic about what she should do. What should she do? [more inside]
Cleaning coffee machine - Scottish edition
What's the best cleaning compound to use in my Gaggia Brera bean-to-cup espresso machine? The handbook talks about descaling, and it has an automatic cleaning/descaling cycle that kicks in when it thinks it needs it. But I'm in a soft water area in Edinburgh where there is no scaling, and it's not cleaning properly. [more inside]
Give me some of that old time... Italian bee propolis?
When traveling in rural southern Italy, my husband got sick. Our innkeeper insisted we go to the local apothecary and get pure bee propolis. I was skeptical, but followed her orders, and procured some foul-tasting locally made propolis spray that numbed his throat and... TOTALLY WORKED. Back in the states, I'd like to use something like it, but most versions I've found aren't that potent. What is the closest American version I can find?
What to bring for an indefinite hospital stay
My father is now going in for treatment on Monday, for at least 2 weeks in hospital. He will be in a hospital in central Montreal, where most of his family lives and works, so we will be able to bring things to him as needed. However, we have 5 days to pick up stuff for his first day. What will he need for a long stay in the hospital? Side effects range from non-existent to severe and we can't know which or how he will feel. [more inside]
Want an apolitical Crime/Detective writer
Does anyone know of a writer of crime fiction who is modern, nonleftist (or even obviously conservative), and good? I've already read John D. MacDonald, Ross Macdonald, Connelly, Westlake/Stark, Rob't Parker, and am now reading John Sandford but he's becoming too liberal for me. I'd like to go with someone well-known but need to know whom to avoid. I also like horror, but Stephen King's "Under the Dome" I had to drop. Have also already done the Dan Simmons trilogy... Thanks.
Cold shoulder after fight, how to proceed?
Boyfriend and I (mid 30s) had an argument a couple weeks ago which I take full responsibility for. I lashed out on him in a way that wasn't me, and I don't know why it even happened, which is not an excuse. I've been digging deep and trying to figure out why I treated him that way because I know he deserves an honest answer, but my mind is going in circles because I just can't explain what happened to me that day. [more inside]
Best drawing tablet for a beginner?
My 11 year old loves watching Odd 1s Out and Jaiden Animation and would like a drawing tablet for Christmas to do some of their own animations. I am hoping to keep the price point limited to $100 and would love your recommendations. FWIW we have an Adobe Creative Suite subscription that they would have access to but we are also willing to invest in some software and would welcome recommendations for software as well.
Make Racism Wrong Again - where to buy flags and banners?
Need some large anti-racism banners. Where to buy? [more inside]
ThanksgivingFilter: Vegetarian lasagna
I need to help prepare today, for baking tomorrow, a vegetarian (not vegan) lasagna. I have never done so. HALP! [more inside]
Filing for bankruptcy: Will it clear off an eviction for...
I’m currently locked in a lease with an ex-boyfriend, who is a covert narcissist, and his brother who lives out of state and is on the lease by name only. My ex is threatening to file for bankruptcy and stop paying rent.
My question is: What is my ex getting out of filing for bankruptcy? Can filing for bankruptcy clear off an eviction? What about in the case where you are evicted because you violated the terms of the lease by having someone live with you who is not on the lease? [more inside]
November 26
help me uncouple my Chromebook from the Google Calendar app
I accidentally told my Chromebook to open Google Calendar as an app, not a browser tab, and now I can't make it not do that. Help! [more inside]
Programming Minecraft Characters on XBox One
My daughter has recently gotten into Minecraft. She's begun using command blocks to automate and spawn some things. Now we'd like to make a village where people do and say certain things, like a game. Is this possible on XBox One? [more inside]
What kind of stemware is this?
My wife and I have had these two glasses in our cabinets for years, and we have no idea what they are intended to be used for. Wine glasses? Dessert glasses? Some kind of snifter?
Here's a photo.
Practice Spanish/English online with a real person
Does online language practice exchange still exist for Spanish/English? [more inside]
Dry non-mint mouthwash for travel?
I love Listerine orange, but would like to have an alternative that for travel that won't leak and take up so much space. [more inside]
Where can I live on the water?
I'm thinking about retirement and wondering where I can live that is on the water somewhere. Criteria ahoy... [more inside]
Canadians, where do you shop for presents?
Usually at Christmas, I just ship a bunch of stuff home to my family from Amazon and then wrap it up when I get there. This year, I'd like to step away from Amazon, but I need alternatives for places where I can find a good variety of toys (particularly) and housewares and other gifty type things that ship FROM WITHIN Canada. [more inside]
The answer is: “You should try Terry Pratchett”
I know the answer to my question as you can see by the title, problem is I have tried his work, I have read all of it. I need something to read. Please Metafilter you love to suggest discworld so I trust you enough to ask.
What should I read now in Fantasy and or Science Fiction. I am well read in the genre and I want to avoid dystopias and good satire is welcome. The last things would be something newish (say within the last 5 years) and Different.
Greens
My boss gave everyone a Thanksgiving box. It contains greens. I've never cooked greens. [more inside]
Date/Activity ideas for a couple on winter weekend evenings?
My spouse and I (childless, 30s, married for a couple years) are looking for date ideas for the weekend nights in a typical midwestern city for the winter months. Right now, it's typically less than 5C/40F and the sun goes down at 5pm on weekends. [more inside]
How to rewarm my turkey?
Because Reasons, on Thanksgiving I'm going to need to cook a 16-lb. turkey early in the day then slice it up and let it sit. What's a decent way to rewarm it that's not going to dry it out? [more inside]
New job, same awkwardness: Is it me?
I'm the only female in a male-dominated environment. A manager from another department was giving my male coworker a hard time about us working together. Now it's awkward. Snowflakes inside... [more inside]
Preparing Pretty Pie Crusts
Every year for Thanksgiving, I make a pumpkin pie, using the Cook's Illustrated recipe for both the pie and the the vodka crust. This year, I'd like to fancy it up a bit, like the picture in this recipe. I have leaf cookie cutters, and I think I have a good idea of what I'm doing, but I'm looking for tips/advice on how to make the decorative rim thing work. [more inside]
What happend to the President's Volunteer Service Award?
I've earned PVSA pins the past several years and was working towards the Lifetime award, but this year it's all gone pear-shaped. Does anyone know what happened? [more inside]
How do I get my mac to wake me up tomorrow morning?
I left my phone at work and therefore have no alarm clock. Is there a way to get my mac book pro running Catalina to reliably wake me up tomorrow, without installing specific software or using a web app? This seems like it should be straightforward but I am stumped.
Gate-checked bag went missing -- laptop inside
I was on a crowed American Airlines flight with a connection through Charlotte airport yesterday. I was in the back of the line, so by the time I was ready to board, overhead compartment space was no longer available, so I and several other passengers were forced to "gate-check" our carry-on luggage. I had two laptop computers with me, so I took one out for the flight, but I left the other in my gate-checked bag. Then, the bag went missing... [more inside]
Tunes to Buenos Aires
What are normal non-commercial import duties in Argentina? [more inside]
Affordable holiday treats for colleagues
What's the best affordable gift for bulk giving to coworkers and neighbors? And how do you package things? [more inside]
Family games for kids for Thanksgiving get-together
Hi folks! I'm looking for game or activity ideas for this Thursday, when I'll be hanging with my partner's family and our five nieces and nephews. The kids are roughly 11, 9, 7, 6, 3, and <1 years old. I'd like to organize something they can all participate in (except the littlest one)--ideally something cooperative rather than competitive because of the age differences and so we won't be courting a tantrum. Cards? Puzzles? Art projects? Jenga? What are your favorite holiday get-together activities for groups of kids of different ages? Thanks!
ISO "The Times They Are A-Changin'" Broadway show (i swear) full video
In 2006, for one blessed fever dream of a month, Broadway was blessed with a Twyla Tharp choreographed Bob Dylan jukebox musical called The Times They Are A-Changin'. Please help me watch the whole thing. [more inside]
How best to “herb” infuse olive oil?
I’d like to “herb” infuse some olive oil. What is your preferred method? [more inside]
Seeking fiction set in 2020
I'm interesting in reading fiction set in 2020 in 2020. Help me find more! [more inside]
Personal, consumable, thoughtful gift?
I have a friend who gives me a landscape art calendar every Christmas. She buys the same calendar for herself, so I know we're looking at the same picture every month, and sometimes we discuss them. It's basically the perfect gift: personal, gets used up every year so she can buy me another one, doesn't take up any space, and makes me think of her when I look at it. I'm trying to think of similar gifts that I could give to her and/other other people but I'm drawing a blank. Any ideas?
UK Politics: should I report this election material?
I've had some political advertising material through the door in the run-up to the general election. It is designed to look like a newspaper and the fact that it has been produced by a political party is only explicitly indicated by the "Produced by xx on behalf of the xx party" in white text, 1 millimetre high, on a red background at the bottom of the front page. [more inside]
Two composers go in... two come out
Classical music is full of collaborations, but I'm looking for examples of one specific type: a substantial piece of notated music that was an equal collaboration between two composers from the ground up. [more inside]
Mosquito repellent plants
I’m doing what I can for mosquito abatement in my backyard, but I’d like to line my covered patio with a last line of defense. I’m wondering if there is some plant that either repels mosquitos or at least covers up the chemical signatures they follow. Has anyone had any success with this?
IVIG and hypogammaglobulinemia: What? How?? Help!
I've always gotten sick...a lot. Then this summer I developed a fever of unknown origin and in the process of crossing out scarier things the doctors uncovered that my IGG levels are extremely low.
In mid December I'm due to start IVIG infusions.
Please assume that I'm receiving excellent medical care, but I still have questions... [more inside]
Trope inversion in Christmas movies
Tis the season for made for TV (or Netflix) Christmas movies. And every year I'm reminded how much I hate a specific trope: city girl (or guy) is forced to go to a small town unwillingly, where they then find redemption from their evil city ways and true love. I want to see the opposite situation. Does it exist? [more inside]
Don't try this at home (you don't have the equipment for it anyway)
I work in a molecular biology lab. I also sometimes find cool science demos for my friends and their kids to try out at home. There are tons of these! But what about cool activities that can quickly and safely be accomplished when a visitor stops by the lab? [more inside]
Stop people seeing messages on a Messenger chat without them knowing?
I'm in a group chat on Messenger where I organise an annual event. Two of the participants are related, and one has recently become very seriously, and most likely terminally, ill, so obviously neither are now attending. Although I'd actually prefer to cancel the event, it's been decided to go ahead, and it's now time for me to make the final arrangements about payment, final details etc. It's a big group and this is usually a fun time in the thread with lots of chatter. I don't want either of them to be disturbed/upset by notifications but I don't know how to stop them seeing them. Is there a way to do this? [more inside]
Kitty Tinkle
We have a 15-year-old cat who has recently forgotten how to use her litter box. [more inside]
repurposing cocoa mixes
I got some Trader Joe's powdered salted caramel flavored hot cocoa and some of their powdered sipping chocolate, and I'm not that excited about either one. How else can I use them if I don't want to drink them? [more inside]
What to watch
The only exercise that works for me is walking on a treadmill for long periods (60-90 minutes, typically). While doing this, I watch videos on my laptop. Please provide me with more choices. [more inside]
Calling photojournalism buffs... and everyone else too
I'm trying to round up some examples of emotionally powerful photo-centered profiles of individuals, families, or groups that also incorporate text in a limited but meaningful way. Do you have any? [more inside]
Farmer’s Markets in Eastern Mass with live music
Which farmer’s markets and/or flea markets in Eastern Massachusetts have live music? I’m looking to play a few outdoor markets this spring and would love some leads.
Is there a vegan Zingerman's?
I've been sending coffee cakes and pastries from Zingerman's for Christmas, but I'm getting less comfortable with it, and more of my family members are turning vegan. What are the alternatives? [more inside]
How to hit the reset button on a foul mood
Dear Metafilter, my short vacation that I've been looking forward to for months is off to a bad start. I'm grouchy, tired, and deeply annoyed. I don't want to spend the rest of the day like this. Is there anything I can try to reset my mood? [more inside]
Google Assistant Refuses to Assist
I have a new Pixel4 phone. Google Assistant gives me a message that says " I can't show you personal photos for this account" when I ask it to pull up photos from Google Photos. I need to find a fix for this. Any ideas? [more inside]
Who are the streamers I will like?
Please recommend your favorite non-misogynist, non-racist, non-generally-horrible videogame streamers! I have enjoyed the occasional video game stream on Twitch or YouTube, but there are so many of them, and my standards are apparently so high, it is nearly impossible to find ones that I like. In general, I am looking for folks that use games as a way to tell stories and have fun, as opposed to minmaxing and dominating their opponents. I'm particularly interested in anyone doing Death Stranding, if that is a possibility. Some further examples of streams and qualities I like inside. [more inside]
Liquidating Closed Hardware Store
What options can we consider to liquidate the inventory (hinges, locks, drawer slides, screws, etc) of a closed hardware store? [more inside]
Uncertain about relationship: help wanted to figure this out
I've been with my (gay) boyfriend for about 5 years now, but I'm having doubts about the relationship. I'm not exactly sure why, and I don't know what to do. [more inside]
Stupid OTC medication question
I mean, the question is stupid, not the medication. Ideally. So I have a bad head cold and a headache, which may be the result of the cold or not. Is it a bad idea to take both Advil (contains ibuprofen) and cold medicine (contains aceto-whatsit and codeine), if I am observing the basic requirements of each--i.e., not taking more than one medication within a given four-hour period, not taking more than 3 doses (of each separate medication, not total) within 24 hours, etc.?
Nobody ever died of a head cold and I can stand it, but I want the headache to go away so I can work...;(
November 25
Name that vocal quality
What would you call the gentle quality you hear in the voices of Lorenzo Music, David Costabile, and Allison Janney? It's like a purr, but human. Help me name my personal ASMR.
Help me find important Skype recording
I did a two-plus hour recording of an inteview via Skype 35 days ago, and downloaded it to my Mac. I then dragged the MPEG-4 file from Downloads to a GarageBand project for editing, but forgot to save the project. Now I need the recording, and Skype no longer has it. It's not in my Downloads any longer, or anywhere else on the computer I can think to look. Where should I look on the Mac to see if there is a copy?
What's the taste I don't like in some red wines?
Many red wines, even good ones, have a taste that I and my wife both find unpleasant. But I don't have the vocabulary to describe it, and so I don't know how to avoid it. [more inside]
Can I buy Amazon offsets?
Amazon has problems with their labour practices, with their strong arming of local governments for subsidies, their tax dodging, and so much more. I don't feel good about buying from them. Unfortunatel, they also sometimes have products that are hard to find locally, or that are wildly overpriced locally. What charities are there that help fight Amazon or improve the things they make bad? [more inside]
How to handle holiday cards this year
Well, this year has been absolute crap. However, I love giving and receiving Christmas and Chanukah cards. My day-to-day motto is “fake it till you make”, but I don’t want to fake holiday spirit when I’ve already got a snorkel keeping me afloat. I feel like it’s a lie to send a smiling family photo. How would you handle this?
Should I write this letter in support of my landlady?
Landlady is involved in a lawsuit regarding another property and has asked me to write a letter stating her relations with me have been fair and respectful -- which they mostly have except for occasional fits of weirdness (see within). Should I? [more inside]
Himbo in chief
Who was the most himbo US president? [more inside]
Real Female Characters Over 30 in Films
What are some movies that have women over 30 that are real people, not stereotypes, not based on famous people, that have agency and are interesting to watch? Bonus points for women who don't live in suburbia, aren't villains, aren't defined by others.
What are your top Oboe jams to displease my roommate?
My roommate has an irrational hatred of the Oboe. So naturally, for the annual winter gift-exchange season, I will be compiling and gifting him a mix CD entitled "Now That's What I Call Oboe 17".
What are your favorite Oboe tracks for me to include? [more inside]
Is there a non-rolling, non-swiveling, office chair?
Looking for an office chair, ergonomically suitable/adjustable for a medium size 5'6" woman to sit in for typing at the computer for extended periods. The catch: no wheels, no swiveling. My person has a hard time with balance, and I'm looking for a stable chair with arms that is non-swiveling, non-wheely. Does such a thing exist in the world of office chairs? Or is there a way to hack a regular office chair, e.g. to stop the chair from swiveling?
Looking for women's underwear with cuffs around the thigh holes
Because of the shape of my ass (??) almost any underwear I wear tends to ride up into my ass crack, which is understandably annoying. The only underwear I've found that doesn't do this is pairs with tight cuffs around the thigh holes. Can you help me find affordable underwear like this? [more inside]
Car insurance options in GA?
Any suggestions for a young driver that has let her car insurance lapse in Georgia? Trying to come up with options for my niece.. [more inside]
What went wrong with my self-drilling drywall anchor?
I am used to the non-threaded plastic drywall anchors where you drill a pilot hole and then hammer it in. My hardware store insisted on selling me the threaded plastic anchors that you are supposed to screw in, saying they were better. I tried screwing one in and instead of going in smoothly, it pulled the crumbly drywall up making a small drywall mountain/volcano. Please help me install curtains! I live on the first floor and everyone can see into my house! [more inside]
Are these beans safe to cook and eat?
I bought about a pound of beautiful Scarlet Runner Beans at the Farmer's Market and thought they were dry, so I put them in a jar. A week later we noticed the beans were starting to grow fuzzy mold. Turns out the beans had just been shelled and were not dry at all when purchased, my bad! I threw away the worst-looking ones, and decided to put the rest in the dehydrator overnight where they became hard and small with no visible mold. I keep hesitating to cook them now. Are these beans safe to cook and eat?
The opposite of the usual “went through the wrong toll lane” - PA 476
Usually when people ask this type of question it’s because they went through an EZ-Pass lane without a transponder. I did exactly the opposite - I went though a “CASH ONLY” lane with an EZ-Pass. This was at a point where 476 changes from EZ-Pass only to cash and EZ-Pass. What now?
Hit on by my m*ssage therapist, what now?
About half an hour after my my m*ssage the other day as I was on the way home I got a message from my therapist basically coming onto me. I’ve said thanks but no thanks. Can I still go for m*ssages? [more inside]
Buying ice skates in southern Indiana
Where, within a three hour drive (one way) of Bloomington Indiana, can I go to see and try on a selection of figure skates and get some professional fitting advice for my kiddo? [more inside]
Moving Past the Samsung S7
I'm going to need a new phone probably sooner rather than later. I had a Samsung S4 that I loved. I currently have a Samsung S7 that I love but not as much as the S4. What should my next phone be? [more inside]
Help me understand tire chain clearances
I'm looking to buy tire chains for my car. I know the tire size and specs, and I know I need class S chains, but my owner's manual says only SOME class S chains are ok. [more inside]
Buying a Kobo Libra
Will Kobo e-readers, and specifically the Kobo Libra be discounted on Black Friday in the US? Alternately, if it'll be used almost exclusively for library books, is there any good reason to consider a Kindle Oasis (just in case it sees significant discounts), now that you can access Overdrive directly on Kobo devices? [more inside]
Fix my matcha pudding?
In the winter my matcha puddings come out the wrong color. [more inside]
Where to spend Christmas?
My sister and I plan to spend Christmas together avoiding messy family stuff. It needs to be 6 hours or fewer drive time from Columbus, Ohio -or- quite near central N Carolina. Wild Card: near or en route to Fairfield, IA is possible. I don't want to be spendy, sister prefers amenities, will adapt to more basic options, not tenting, heat (fireplace) & hot water req'd. Many State and possibly National Parks have nice cabins. I'm good with cooking our meals or a restaurant for Christmas dinner. Limit per night is 125. Map We both like walking, nature, arts, books, bookstores, good food/ restaurants, avoiding immediate family.
Dairy-free, make-ahead savory breakfasts
What are some delicious, dairy-free, savory breakfast casseroles or similar items that can be batch-cooked in advance and reheated? No other dietary restrictions; meat and eggs are fine.
I want it vegan! Bag search help please
I love the looks of this Fern by Hobo crossbody bag. Alas, it is leather and I would prefer it in a fabric textile or vegan "leather" such as cork or pvc or polyurethane. Any leads, shopping wizards? [more inside]
Traveling China->Singapore->China on an American "emergency passport"?
So an idiot at Delta ripped my passport. It's not awful and China did let me in (after 10 minutes and a call to the supervisor), but I am going to go to the consulate to get my passport replaced (I am not going to keep rolling the dice). I can get a so-called emergency passport, but I'm not quite sure if this is valid for travel (well, besides back to America). The American embassy said "maybe? Might not want to risk it." The American consulate said "it should be fine!" I called the Singaporean embassy in America and they said to call the embassy in China (oh bureaucracy). More details within! [more inside]
What's your best platform for an office Secret Satan exchange?
I've been using Elfster forever, but I kind of hate it. What have you used instead, that is web-based and fully featured, for your office holiday-adjacent non-denominational gift exchange?
How do you decide where and how much to donate?
How do you decide how much of your time and income to give away, and how to allocate it, broadly speaking? How much to local non-profits versus national versus international? How much to political campaigns? To friends and family that are struggling? And how to balance against long term financial goals like a child's college fund or buying property one day? [more inside]
Thanksgiving in New York City -- Challenge... Brunch!
We live in New York City and typically travel to family out of state for Thanksgiving. This year, however, we have a newborn and my wife and youngest son are staying home while my older son and I fly out Thanksgiving evening. We'd like to eat a family Thanksgiving meal at a restaurant somewhere in Manhattan at 10 am or 11 am. All the options I see start with noon seatings at the earliest. Any tips for Thanksgiving brunch in the city? Thanks!
Budgeting with a Credit Card
My wife and I purchase everything we possibly can with our credit card and pay it off every month. We don't have a problem paying that bill religiously every month. What we do have a problem with is spending more than we probably should. Is there a service or tool that can nag me through the course of the month and say "Hey jasondigitized, your daily budget is $10, and right now, your daily spending average for the month is $20?" [more inside]
A Rhiannon Giddens Video
I'm a fiddler and mandolin player. A couple of years ago I saw a concert video of Rhiannon Giddens scat-singing. The tune she was improvising on was an old British Isles tune called "The Green Fields of America". The problem I'm having is that the tune wasn't identified in either the title or the video itself, which makes searching well-nigh impossible. I'd like to see that video again. Anyone have a searchable title?
Need to make more money but what path would work with my health needs?
I'm a woman in my late 30s. I’m a chronically ill, highly sensitive person who has multiple sclerosis, PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I need guidance on figuring out a career path reboot that addresses my needs as best and as fast as possible. (Long details inside) [more inside]
Non-binary-friendly suiting around Boston
One of my bridespeople is non-binary and would prefer to wear a suit to my wedding. Unfortunately, they don't already have one. Can you recommend a welcoming place to shop near Boston, or tips if you have them?
Is there any DIY finish that would make this tabletop durable?
We'd like this dining table. But it's painted veneer over engineered wood (i.e., MDF, I think), and a bunch of the reviews note that it doesn't wear well: it blisters, scratches, and gets water damage. Is there a DIY coating or other treatment that would make it durable? [more inside]
How to get my health insurance to pay more of this bill?
I mistakenly had a doctor's appointment that was an uncovered service. But at least that shingles shot should be covered. How do I get them to pay up? [more inside]
Where to find digitised aerial photography from the 1940s?
Our borough council has an online mapping service that includes a layer of 1940s aerial photography. I'm trying to buy this, as it would help in planning habitat restoration on a nature reserve I manage, but not having any luck finding it. [more inside]
How can I dispose of a mattress with menstrual blood stains on it?
I’m moving to a new apartment within my building. I have a double mattress I want to dispose of but I’m not able to lift it so I have to hire someone. Mattresses are meant to be put inside the building near the outside dumpsters. I don’t want the person I hire to see them nor my building manager who lives in the building. I prefer it’s not just sitting there in the open for everyone to see either. What’s the cheapest way to deal with this? Thanks.
Why don’t people like it when I gain self confidence?
I’ve noticed a trend in my life that during periods of growth, when I’m gaining self confidence, others around me seem not to like it very much. It’s hard to find examples so apologies for being vague but I have noticed the need to stand up for myself more often lately, as I’m going through one of these periods currently. [more inside]
November 24
Threesome Etiquette
A couple of months ago I, (f48) was approached by the female member of a couple (f33, M32) and asked if I would participate in a three way escapade. They are familiar to me for the pool tournament scene and I've been friends with them in social circles but never more than that. (It gets better...) [more inside]
How to improve/polish poetry (to publication level)
I found some poems I'd written. They seem to me to be decent. But I don't know what the next step after writing a first draft of a poem is. [more inside]
How do I talk to our Housekeeping service about missing jewelry?
Hi ALl,
This isn't a question I wanted to ask, but here we are. Mom suspects our housekeepers of swiping some valuable, sentimentally irreplaceable jewelry while she was away on vacation. I'm tasked with talking to them about this and wonder how to do so. [more inside]
Winfinite Indow 818-555-0130
Recently I searched my own phone number on Google and found a bunch of sites that claimed to know who had that number. They all claimed it was assigned to someone with an obviously fake name. These are separate from the background check sites like Spokeo or Truthfinder and its workalikes. What is the purpose of these sites?
Help me find the perfect farm style wooden bench dining seat and table
I have the two wriggliest kids in the wood - and I’m looking for a wooden farm style table with dining benches with a low back but with some specific requirements. Home design gurus of metafilter please help! [more inside]
How do you handle suspected Russian trolls in closed Facebook groups?
I'm an admin of a community Facebook group in my city. It's a closed group, and people need to answer screening questions before they're accepted. [more inside]
LAX to Long Beach via public transit - Fun stops along the way?
My spouse and I are flying to LAX on Wednesday morning. We'll meet up with family that evening in Long Beach, and are free the whole day. It looks like the trip from LAX->Long Beach will take 90 minutes via public transit. While we're making our way south, are there neighborhoods or spots we could visit that are close to public transit (or a quick rideshare from LAX/Long Beach)? [more inside]
Another question about telephones in 1991
The character in my novel is calling the telephone of someone whose house has just burned down. This is in the immediate aftermath of the massive 1991 Oakland/Berkeley fire. Would she just get endless ringing? Or would she get some other sort of message? I'm actually hoping for the former, so unless that's patently wrong, it's what I want to go with.
What is this soothing vacation music I'm seeking?
I'm taking this whole week off from work and want some tunes that will bring the anxiety, work-level down to negative 50. [more inside]
Make-ahead Gougères
Help me strategize my Gougères. I'm planning to bring them to a Thanksgiving dinner this week and I can't decide whether I should freeze the balls or pre-bake, cool, then freeze or some third option? [more inside]
Margins of error, multiple variables, and probably overthinking stats
I need to compute a margin of error for the result of f(x,y), where x and y are variables, with known errors, provided by sensors. This is something that would go on a spec sheet, so it should be applicable to any equation f(x,y) no matter the inputs. I guess?
An example and possibly a better explanation of the wall I'm hitting behind the cut. [more inside]
In search of a book on Chinese History
I'm looking for a nice big coffee table book on Chinese History, with lots of art and architecture. [more inside]
The Only 3D Blu Ray I Really Want to Watch
My favorite film of the last decade is Bi Gan's "Long Day's Journey Into Night", and it's about to release on 3D Blu Ray. Part of the film is mandatorily in 3D. Being completely uninterested in 3D format, I've invested in a nice OLED that doesn't do 3D...but, alas, I really want to be able to watch this film a couple times per year. [more inside]
Pre-rock & roll pop songs with overtures
Recently I learned that the song ”Paper Moon” has an opening part, which frequently gets cut from cover versions. Which other songs from the pre-rock & roll/Great American Songbook era have overture-type parts? [more inside]
Steel-Cut Oats: Can I eat?
24 hours ago I put some steel cut oats in a pot with some water to make them this morning. I forgot. It’s now roughly the same time as it was last night when I put them in to soak. They have not been cooked. They have been sitting on a kitchen counter in an apartment between 18 and 20 C. I have a low tolerance for risk. Go ahead and cook and eat or not?
Pick one Star Trek movie for us to watch
I am a moderate-level fan of science fiction in general and Star Trek in particular. My wife has never seen any Star Trek, and she knows very little about it. But I think it might appeal to her more than most science fiction.
Which Star Trek movie should we watch together? [more inside]
That node, that node, that noOoOode
Painful lymph node (with no swelling). Or is it a pulled muscle? [more inside]
Advice for Moving on a Shoestring Budget? (Possible: FL, NY)
Should a freelancer with little money move and start over in NYC, FL (or other places -- open to suggestions) or stay in Philly, possibly? I'd love to get firsthand advice from individuals in different places, as I've seen I've learned much more about Philly by living here and asking advice. I'm moving very soon and really have no clue about what neighborhoods are affordable and ideal around Miami, Orlando, Tampa, and other cities in other states. [more inside]
Mirroring an iPad Pro on a windows PC
I have a new iPad Pro that I use for drawing. I'm wondering if there's a way to mirror it to my Windows laptop so that I can draw on the iPad while looking at the laptop screen, therefore reducing neck pain. [more inside]
Books on Dealing With Stress/Anger
Looking for recommendations on books that give practical advice on dealing with stress/defusing anger. [more inside]
Research lab job interview
Are research lab job interviews much different than any other job interview? [more inside]
Help Me Remember This Woman Motivational Speaker's Name
So she used to open for Tony Robbins, way back in the day, I believe she's Cuban or Porta Rican descent, American, she's a bit hippy/New Age-y, wears large pendant necklaces with tie-dye backdrops on stage, also wears long tunics, she's funny and engaging. That's all I've got. Help me find her name. Thanks.
how do i get *just* the NYT MAGAZINE?
I love doing the NYT xword in the magazine. Something about using a red felt tip gliding over that glossy magazine paper just hits the spot in a way that clicking around my online subscription never will. But they don't offer it for sale without the whole paper! Halp! [more inside]
The Thickest Stew
I want The Thickest Stews. I want my stews to never be thinner than a good gravy, and I find that many stews disappoint me. How do I do this? Please answer with tips and tricks to getting the consistency I want, though recipe recommendations are welcome. [more inside]
Name this film?
What relatively recent, possibly British-Romanian, film has a fictional dictatorship, possibly a giant statue or monument, a lake, a family living in a poor rural village and elite living in high tech houses? [more inside]
Put the needle on the record!
Looking for suggestions for a reliable sturdy user-friendly intro level turntable, used or new, for a 12 year old who is into all kinds of different tech. I want to go above portables with cheap cartridges and speakers and disappointing sound quality, but below fancy stuff that is fussy to set up and will be wrecked by thrift store vinyl. [more inside]
Europe-based web hosting, 2019
I'm looking for a new EU-based web host as I'm fed up with my current provider. I'm struggling to find a review site that doesn't look dodgy as hell so would really like either personal recommendations or sources of trustworthy reviews. Requirements within. [more inside]
Is it a bad idea to put plants on my range hood?
I want to put a mature Pothos with long leafy vines on my very large, flat range hood. Am I overlooking a downside beyond asthetics? [more inside]
November 23
How can I live in the present, not in the past or the future?
I know this sounds a little difficult to answer, but I have a huge issue with this.
I carry around a lot of regrets about a lot of things which I think I should have done differently in the past. I also think a lot about the future, about how things will somehow change for the better. Neither of these things are helpful for me as a person and I want to leave these mentalities, they're ultimately toxic and self defeating. [more inside]
Thanksgiving after meal activities
Hi! My family is getting together this year and would like to have some sort of craft to make. Challenge: toddler friendly, adult interesting, can go on an airplane after, and is as green/eco friendly as possible. Food is OK so long as it's very low mess (decorating cookies is too much mess)
Why are there so many New York license plates in Michigan?
I live in southeast Michigan, but I see New York license plates almost every single day. Help me figure out this baffling mystery. [more inside]
Help me choose a tub: acrylic vs cast iron vs ???
My husband and I are remodeling a bathroom and we're now attempting to choose a tub (must be a tub, not a shower with no tub). We have never chosen a tub before, so we're a bit unclear about how much materials affect feel and durability - and how much that matters anyway, in terms of resale. Please advise! [more inside]
Identify these eyeglasses please
fresh eucalyptus smell and cat
If I hang fresh eucalyptus over my shower head, is the smell bad for my cat? Litter box is in the bathroom. The cat won't be able to get at the eucalyptus but the bathroom smells strongly of it
Who is the artist in the pic of Prince Andrew with Virginia Roberts?
Just wondering who is the artist of the painting in the photo of Prince Andrew with Virginia Roberts and Ghislaine Maxwell:
Putting the Me in Memoir
I've found in recent years that memoirs are my preferred reading genre. I'm interested in exploring more memoirs that are written from the perspective of middle-aged or older non-celebrity/non-wealthy women. For some reason I've found this
--my own--demographic to be underrepresented in the memoir landscape I've explored so far. The organizing theme can be later stage parenting, empty nesting, aging parents, career, self -discovery, or whatever. If you've read a really good memoir lately that fits those criteria let me know!
Searching for story of reporter who died in mysterious circumstances
Who was this man I'm thinking of and where did I read an article about his mysterious death? [more inside]
How to video-monitor my farm, on demand, on battery, on cell-data
I'm looking for help finding the right remote camera system to see what's happening at my farm (far from my home) without having to drive there. There isn't electricity or internet out there yet, so I need a battery powered system. All I can find are "trail cams" for hunters, chock full of expensive features I don't need. Any tips? [more inside]
Help me stream Shakespeare for Crying Babies and Faraway Relatives
My kids' youth theater group performs unabridged, original language Shakespeare plays. They are great but sometimes it is hard to hear and crying babies make it worse. I'd like to make it easier for parents to leave the theater with a loud baby by streaming the show to a monitor in the lobby. Can you help be figure out the best way to do this in 2019? [more inside]
I Saw A Movie
I saw a movie in the early 1960s. The structure was a boy and girl through the years. It was set in San Francisco and Northern California. Google isn't helping, so I'm turning to the hive mind. [more inside]
I will crush you like an insect
I enjoy threatening my children using cartoonish supervillain-type phrases. Please tell me your favourite over-the-top threats - they are quite small children so the threats need to be hugely, obviously ludicrous.
Also keen to hear any collective terms I could start using to address them, along the lines of "pesky/meddling kids".
WTF is filling up my hard drive?
My 2018 macbook pro's disk is apparently full. But I can only find files that comprise a fraction of the total when I look at everything on the hard drive. Where else can I look? Any thoughts on what could be driving it? What am I missing? (screenshots) [more inside]
"I just can't see it." Obliviousness and division of labor
I don't think this particular angle has been asked before. I am wanting nature vs nurture information on male obliviousness with regard to domestic needs, and have some other related questions. [more inside]
All Things Clicked and Added to a Playlist
How do I listen to a full All Things Considered episode (without happening to turn on the radio exactly when it's playing)? [more inside]
Lazy beauty advice
I'm trans and I kinda alternate wildly between feeling attractive and not feeling myself. I also have depression under treatment, so I don't have a ton of free energy. I'd like to invest a little bit of what energy I have left into taking care of my appearance.
Right now I have a pretty basic makeup and hair routine to even out my complexion and make sure my hair looks neither too frizzy or in need of a wash. I'd like to do more without too big an energy/time sink. [more inside]
How does the "drop in any mailbox, return postage guaranteed" thing work
I saw an old key ring at a garage sale - on the key ring was printed "Drop in any mailbox, return postage guaranteed" and then the address of the association (in this case was a community group, functionally a club). This made me curious - what would happen if I did that today? Could I print that on my key ring and add my home address and just get billed for the postage if my keys were mailed back to me? Very curious about logistics and how this works from a "how stuff works" perspective.
I actually DO want Big Brother to monitor me...
I'd like to ask Santa for a watch that will also track my heart rate. I do not want to ask Santa to spend $199. What should I ask for? Review sites seem to spit out the same questionable Top 10 lists, and I've never heard of some of the best rated ones on Amazon. [more inside]
Husband’s odd odor
My husband’s body odor has changed all of a sudden in the past few months. Not just his sweat but his daily personal smell. It’s a little rancid, like sour metal. Doesnt seem to be his breath but his entire body odor. It’s not the usual smell of B.O. When I bring this up with him he is offended. But honestly I don’t even want to kiss him anymore. It’s an unappealing smell.
He has not changed habits recently. Diet, exercise and hygiene are all the same as usual. What the hell is this smell?? How can I get him to see a doctor about it?
My five year old's behaviour makes me want to avoid social occasions
When we go somewhere like a friend's house, or when friends come to us, my 5yo daughter gets overexcited and misbehaves. [more inside]
Egg freezing effects on emotions
This was me I decided a few months ago to do a cycle and am currently on my second round of egg freezing. I’m just noticing the last few months that my emotions seem to be on a hair trigger, and I wonder if it could be the egg freezing hormones making things worse? I have had very few physical symptoms so I’m not sure if I’m on a particularly high dose.
I am still looking for a therapist, but just wondering in the meantime.
November 22
Low Carb, Low Acid Soup?
I want to make some hearty soup as the weather gets cold. But I'm doing low carb, and my partner has to do low acid. So that means no tomatoes, no citrus, no spiciness, no garlic or onions. Help!
What to do about unprofessional detective work
We were robbed a few weeks ago. Several conversations with the detective working our case have left me and my spouse feeling blamed. What are our best options? [more inside]
Because There's Not Always a Dog or Baby
How do you strike up a conversation with a stranger? [more inside]
Has the frequency of bladder stones changed over the centuries?
Bladder stones show up all over the literature and history of medicine. As far as I can tell in the past hundred years or so, they don't show up much at all. Has the frequency of them changed, or is this a matter of them being something that could be dealt with before modern medicine and thus people actually talked about it? If the frequency has changed, what in our dietary habit or personal care caused the change? [more inside]
Chicago Drop Off Catering
Chicago: which are your favorites for drop-off catering and why? 40-50 people, evening, cocktail do, Lincoln Park. Need substantial vegetarian options, no pork, not too difficult to eat while mostly standing. Budget is up in the air, but assume $10-20/head. I know Big Star is popular, but what other options are there?
Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it
Well, I was somehow able to get a job after a really rough job search. It's my first librarian job, so naturally... it requires a move to a new city and it's only for 1-year. This is good right? I'm feeling really mixed about it. [more inside]
Decision fatigue + obesity x executive function issues (no soylent)
I need a simple meal plan (1200 calories) that's sustainable. I don't want to buy pre-made foods. I don't want to heat my lunch at work but I don't much like sandwiches. I have a salad jar thingy but I haven't tested it to see how many days a salad will last in it. [more inside]
Executive functioning and IVF
My executive functioning has not been the best since I had a concussion this past spring, and I'm about to start my first IVF cycle, which has me worried about coordinating everything that needs to happen for it. I need help! [more inside]
iPhone 11 volume popup on unlock.. sometimes
Occasionally, when I unlock my iPhone 11, I get a big popup of the volume setting (without pushing the volume button). This is highly annoying. Help? [more inside]
Cooks and bakers of Metafilter, lend me your bindings...
I want to make a slice or small cube snacks out of seeds - pumpkin, sunflower, chia etc - but I don't want to use sugar, honey, syrup or other carb-heavy ingredients. What else can I use to bind the seeds into something I can mix together, bake for a bit, then cut into cubes?
Electric Tea Kettle for Older Person
Can you recommend a simple, lightweight electric tea kettle for an older person? [more inside]
Xmas murder ballad recommendations?
Since it's getting close to that most wonderful time of the year, I was just wondering if anyone could recommend any good holiday-related murder ballads. (Preferably "vintage" but I'd be into more modern ballads as well).
iOS 13.2.3 Edit and Name Photo
I upgraded my phone to iOS 13.2.3, which now (supposedly) gives you the ability to choose your own profile photo in Messages. I did this, have name and photo sharing turned on, and chose to share automatically with contacts. But no one sees my photo or is getting the message banner announcing that I shared a new photo. What am I missing?
An ice-cold glass of blood??
In this NYT article, the author describes using "kk" (versus "OK") as "an ice-cold glass of blood: mostly neutral, slightly basic." Have you ever heard the phrase "an ice-cold glass of blood" before? How is this "mostly neutral" and "slightly basic"? What's at all neutral about a glass of blood? It seems very dramatic to me. Could it be the acidity? I'm so confused.
Process-oriented Debriefing
I just finished a fairly major project, and as I usually do I'm organizing a debrief/retrospective for everyone so we can improve the next time. Are there any theory- or process-based methods for doing this kind of exercise? [more inside]
How to deal with strangers who crowd you?
I seem to attract people who deliberately crowd me, seemingly to control where I go and when. They also like to stand in doorways that I am about to walk through. It does not seem to be cultural. It happens in situations that are not otherwise crowded. It is irritating. If this were happening frequently to you, how would you handle it in a mature, responsible way? [more inside]
Name for aligning objects with the same orientation on a flat surface?
So, eg, all objects are are lined up on a table. There's a specific word for this that I can't remember?
Employer delayed on matching IRA contributions - do I have any options?
My former employer was delayed in depositing our employee contributions to SIMPLE IRAs and has yet to deposit the employer match from August 2018 forward, despite telling me they had until 11/15/19 legally to do so. Not sure if I have any options to take action or if I'm just out of luck. More details inside. [more inside]
What should I write on the company whiteboard?
I just moved office cubes. There's a big whiteboard in the main hallway near it. Every day, somebody writes "Happy [day of week]!", with usually a heart or something on Friday. There's lots of room on the whiteboard, and this is just BEGGING for a new doodle or remark, snarky or unsnarky. What should I write or doodle on this whiteboard? (We're a bunch of smart, friendly engineer types who appreciate almost anything.) Thank you!
Questions Relevant to Oil Field Work
My 20-year-old son, C, is considering accepting a job offer to work in a Texas oil field. What questions should he be asking? What questions should I be asking? [more inside]
Should I sell my 2019 Macbook Air?
I picked up a 2019 Macbook Air earlier this year and I like it a lot. I even don't mind the keyboard. However, with all the stories of keyboard failures I'm wondering if I should sell it and get something else - an ipad pro 13" would probably work just as well for my purposes. I don't use the keyboard heavily but the stories of getting a single crumb in it and needing a repair have me spooked.
In search of lentil soup—with conditions
I want to make lentil soup. Pretty much every recipe I find contains tomatoes and/or spinach. I don’t like either of these. Do you have a tried and true lentil soup recipe that would work for me?
Note—tomato sauce/flavor is fine. I just don’t like pieces of tomato or tomato seeds. And yes, I know I can purée tomatoes but I just really don’t like using any form of fresh tomatoes when I cook. It’s a texture thing. We’ve all got our food quirks, right?
Good tropical destination between Tokyo and Portland Oregon in winter?
I am searching for a good mid-point to hit up on my return from Japan this February/early March. I would be returning from Tokyo or Sapporo to Portland OR, and would like a few days of sunshine before landing in Portland. I would like a destination preferably reachable inside of a 10 hour nonstop flight. Any suggestions?
Preference for somewhere less crowded...
🌶️ Store-Bought Sauce Chemistry 🍅
I like to combine Frank's Red Hot with Heinz Ketchup. I like the 'spicy-sweet' flavor profile that combining these two ready-made sauces creates. I want to experiment and find out what other ready-made, store bought condiments and sauces I can combine for similar yumminess. Please keep suggestions limited to combinations that ONLY contain ready-made condiments and sauces (mayo, Greek yogurt, and sour cream also count); I am not looking for lengthy recipes that require making things from scratch. I am looking for quick "instant" sauce combinations I can make without fuss by simply combining two or more store bought sauces.
How do I begin to rebuild relationships?
TW: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ABUSE
I have burned so many bridges because I cannot intimately trust people and frequently imagined hypersexualised and hyperviolent scenarios playing out where I am unable to stop the abuse I am experiencing. I am now in therapy and want to start the process of healing relationships I care about. Unfortunately, my counsellor does not have a lot of ideas on how to do this. Can you help? [more inside]
99% sure it's not a magic lamp
I'd love some help identifying a few things I found at Dead Horse Bay. [more inside]
How long to get new glasses?
I recently bought new glasses from my optometrist. They ordered them and said they would take about 2 weeks. Two weeks came and went. I called to ask about status and they said that it may take longer since it is the end of the year. [more inside]
How do I make my bedroom feel more like a swanky spa waiting room?
What steps can I take to make my bedroom/a room of my house feel obscenely comfortable and lush? I'm looking specifically for things that feel a bit extra: things like color-changing, dimmable lights, tastefully flavored waters/teas, nice sound systems for plucky harp garbage, oil diffuses, etc. As winter kicks in, I feel like providing myself with semi-grotesque levels of relaxation and soothe. [more inside]
Smart home...but not too smart
We'd like to get a device or system that allows smarter control of lights in our house (i.e., turning lights on and off on a schedule, possibly being controllable remotely). We're not interested in a more holistic system to control of things like HVAC and camera/monitoring. My husband doesn't like the idea of the house being vulnerable to hacking and we don't really need these features, so I'm not interested in paying for them. We just want a more programmable system for the lights and maybe some outlets (i.e., for the Xmas tree). Do you have a system that meets this need, is cost-effective, and is secure? [more inside]
How do I hire a translator?
Seeking advice or recommendations for hiring an English-to-Tamil translator for a text of personal significance that ISN'T a legal text. (And quickly!) [more inside]
Where can I buy this specific bookstand (or something similar)?
I have a bookstand that I like. (front view; rear view; side view.) It holds books at just the right height and angle for my needs, and I want to get a second one that is as much like this one as possible. Unfortunately, I don't remember where I got it. Can anybody point me towards one that's the same or similar?
November 21
Do you mix personal data and freelance work files in same computer?
Rather a weird question towards freelancers... I recently got a new heavyweight desktop for doing freelance work at home. Though I already have a middleweight one that I worked, and still, play games, and watch videos on in my bedroom. Originally, I want to separate personal and work but then don't feel like to have both computers on switching myself around, or even get distracted by one another so keeping only one was the solution. However, I need to bring my work computer to work from time to time so it's not a good idea to have my personal files, games, and videos in it either. Ended up, I have two desktops and both are on the whole time.... I would like to know how you guys do. [more inside]
What do I wear instead of Jeans?
I find jeans restrictive and less comfortable, but am not sure what else to wear. Sweats are too casual (and inconvenient pockets) but jeans just feel..... annoying. What else is there? [more inside]
Is it okay for a committed partner to flirt with women on social media?
My partner of one year (51M, we do not live together) and I have had a rocky relationship so far, but we do care for each other. Arguments galore, which makes me concerned about shared values, and the overall wisdom of continuing with the relationship, but this question is very specific. I am also not sure if this behavior is indeed "flirting". [more inside]
Where can my 5-year-old see an electron microscope in Seattle?
I have a curious five-year-old. She plans to ask Santa for an electron microscope. He’s really, really not gonna bring one - what’s the next best thing? [more inside]
Moving from a support job to network admin
My career has been pretty much Desktop/Tech support as a title, but I've done Jr Network Admin work, despite lacking the certificates - I have a chance to take some time to get certificates and classes - but I have no idea what's valuable! What's good to get? What's the best bang for my buck?
Recommendations for supportive bra for large chest
I am tired of bras that don't really support my 40 DD breasts, and tired of those that ride up in the back repeatedly. I have been tolerating this issue my entire adult life, and would like to experience one Truly Supportive Bra before I die. [more inside]
Me Want Cookies!
I'm looking for tried and true cookie recipes. [more inside]
ISO Lasercutting service and wood
I'm making a wood lasercut thing which I hope to sell. Currently I can make prototypes at a fablab, so my only cost is the wood. Looking for ways to scale. [more inside]
How to host two different domains on the same hosting account?
What is the best way to host two different domains on the same webhosting account?
I have two domains (one personal, one professional). The professional one is new and I haven't created a real site for it yet. The personal domain points to a self-hosted WordPress site that I've had for over a decade. I'd like to be able to host both domains on the same webhosting account. Is this possible? [more inside]
Looking for a dog backpack
I'm looking for a front-entry dog backpack for a 9-lb dog. Please point me in the right direction. [more inside]
Healthiness of weight gainer supplements and maltodextrin
I'm quite a skinny person and I'm working on putting on the pounds.
I've been using up some leftover weight gainer supplement from a friend and it's time to buy some more.
I'd like to get the same kind, but after doing some googling on the main ingredient (maltodextrin), I have some concerns. [more inside]
Do you think through talking? How on earth do you work alone?!
My best ideas come through talking with other people. However, I'm a solo consultant--hired for these ideas and my content expertise, but really doing most of my work alone. How can I better channel the energy, focus, and inspiration I get from from conversation to guide my workweek, when I have only an hour or two a week with my client? [more inside]
Online vocal coaching?
Have you ever used an online vocal coach? How did it work out for you? I'm hoping to find a singing coach and it seems like there's a lot of new online options for this, but I'm not sure if that's the best way to go about this. Recommendations for online or in-person coaches in the SF East Bay are welcome. [more inside]
Why does a new account on Wire have people listed under Contacts?
I created an account on the Wire messaging app using a burner email address that should be untraceable to my real identity. When I opened Wire, it showed me "Contacts" with a list of six people? Is it supposed to do that? [more inside]
Long winter weekend in Denver
I'll be in Denver, late December, for a four day mini vacation. I'm up for ice and snow related activities, good food and drinks. I'm probably staying in the city center area and won't have a car, but could rent one if needed.
Thank you for any suggestions you have.
Work hours in humanities grad school?
I am looking for advice from academics in humanities fields on how to strike a balance between pushing yourself and taking breaks in grad school. [more inside]
So I have this mysterious bone...
It was given to me by a friend who found it on his land near Mariposa, CA, USA, just outside Yosemite National Park. It's huge, about 6 inches wide and 4 inches tall. I'd love to identify it - what animal and what specific vertebra? Photo album here. [more inside]
Excel IF formula or something easier?
I can't seem to auto-fill this formula and there must be an easier way. [more inside]
Gimme dat word
Creative manager looking for the exact right word to describe a brand. Is there a word that means "Able to customize and adapt based on your needs because of how absolutely, thoroughly knowledgeable and experienced we are"? Caveat: it can't be "solution-oriented" because it sounds so meaningless to me.
Are small scratches in new stainless steel appliances normal?
I just had some stainless steel appliances delivered and I'm inspecting them for damage. I've never had stainless appliances before. There are some very small scratches on our stove front. So small that I don't know if I would have noticed them if I weren't inspecting them. Is that kind of thing unavoidable? [more inside]
Text-to-donate recommendations?
I'm part of a small, local nonprofit about to embark on a big fundraising campaign and we want to have ALL the options for donations. Have you been part of a fundraising campaign that used a text-to-donate service and have one to recommend (free or cheap, preferably?) Anything we should keep in mind? This is new to us so we don't know what we don't know; feel free to share lessons learned about the whole process!
How do you rid a toaster of ants?
Tiny ants invaded my toaster, and there doesn't seem to be a way to adequately clean it. I think I can address the ants in the cupboard, but how do we prevent this in the future? [more inside]
How do you get back to sleep?
I'm a light sleeper who has difficulty going back to sleep. Teach me how to do this. Difficulty: Newborn. [more inside]
Help me find a quote about the origin story of famous foods
I remember reading a quote (or hearing a bit, maybe) about how the origin stories for famous foods are overwhelmingly (1) it was an accident, or (2) the chef did it to spite an annoying customer and it turned out to be great. Google turns up lots of listicles and mentions of accidental discoveries, but not what I am after. Can anyone point to this quote?
Suggestions? Looking for OSX friendly dvd ripper that can handle DRM
Suggestions? Looking for OSX friendly dvd ripper that can handle DRM.
can you recommend any?
Why is my 8 year old still having bathroom accidents?
My son is 8, and still having bathroom accidents. It honestly doesn't even look like he is TRYING to wipe his bottom at all, and there have even been times that it is bad enough that it looks like he didn't even go to the restroom. What could be the issue? [more inside]
Best way for a middle school students to learn Java offline?
I am a mentor with our local FRC (FIRST Robotics Competition) team. Due to a lot of kids graduating out, we will have a relatively young and inexperienced team for the next year or two. I need help getting a couple talented 8th graders a good solid introduction to Java programming. (Challenge: must be offline) [more inside]
GIMME THE SHINIEST THINGS
I have been to a number of concerts lately where the performers are decked out in stage costumes that are just blindingly sparkly. Like, so sparkly that I am convinced I saw god. LIFT THE VEIL. TELL ME THE SECRETS. [more inside]
What Portuguese woman beat back which 7 Castillians with a breadpaddle?
Long shot here. I'm reading a 16th century history of Portugal in which the author refers to an anecdote concerning a Portuguese woman who beat back even Castilians with a bread paddle.
Sound familiar? If there are other references to this story, something with some kind of context (who the woman, who the Castilians, what the problem), I'd be glad to hear of them.
Refresh my Firefox extensions so they'll play nicely
Firefox has been slooooow, and is suggesting that I hit the refresh button. I have never done this, and am a little unnerved about losing my extensions. At the same time it may be the extensions slowing me down, so...Please tell me which add-ons/extensions will help with privacy, security, and ad blocking, and which will not conflict with each other. [more inside]
I'm not trying to be the sad old guy who's still slinging COBOL...
WebDevelopmentFilter: what are the up-and-coming frameworks, platforms, technology stacks, etc. for building CMS sites and similar web apps in 2019? I need to hit the "eject" button on my PHP/LAMP career. [more inside]
Laptop for Plex server & streaming - UK Black Friday edition
Our media laptop is on the brink of death, and was never that great anyway. Looking for a cost-effective Windows laptop for running a Plex server and streaming, available in the UK on Black Friday. We've tried figuring this out ourselves and are completely bamboozled. Hope us! [more inside]
I am pregnant but don’t want to be
After a night of carelessness we got pregnant. We don’t want to be pregnant right now, we’ve only been married slightly more than a year. We are just not ready. Please help me sort my thoughts out. [more inside]
November 20
Vegan shortbread recipe?
Does anyone have a vegan shortbread recipe that they have personally tried and would recommend? Snowflakes within. [more inside]
I'm being assessed a medicare Premium pEnalty. Why, and what can I do?
Hi, AskMe. :) I'm trying to sign up for a new Medicare plan in the US, which offers prescription drug coverage. I'm an otherwise healthy adult who has never needed any prescription coverage until now. I'm being told I owe a penalty on my premium. Why, and what can I reasonably do? [more inside]
Help me pick a TSA-friendly shaving cream
I have always, since the dawn of time, used Aveeno's aloe-and-vitamin-E shaving cream. Cheaper stuff pisses my skin off real bad, and I've never bothered trying other fancy stuff. But Aveeno doesn't come in a 3.4oz/100ml travel size, and I need one that does. Help me find something comparable that comes in a TSA-friendly size. (I'm only familiar with aerosol. Non-aerosol stuff is okay, but you'll have to explain to me like I'm five how to use it and why it's good.)
How can I stop forgetting to take off my mic?
I need to wear a FM mic in my classroom that is hooked up to an amplifier. The problem is that the new system will pick up the mic even at a great distance (i.e. including the Men's room down the hall). It is only a matter of time before I forget to take off or turn off the mic when I leave the room and broadcast something that I don't intend to. [more inside]
Amazon's Algorithm
Yesterday, a book on Amazon was ranked 616th in General Broadcasting and 1564th in Journalism Writing on Amazon. Today, it's ranked 68th in General Broadcasting and 206th in Journalism Writing on Amazon. What does that mean? Could a ranking change that much in a day? Somebody said their algorithm might be screwy. Amazon isn't generous in explaining what those numbers mean.
Low Ferritin - Anything I should know about my prescriptions?
I (38 cis F, never been pregnant) just had a check up and am not at all surprised to find my ferritin is low. I've been prescribed a daily dose of 325mg of Ferrous Sulfate (w/ orange juice) and 100mg of Colace to prevent constipation. Anything I should be aware of? [more inside]
Haunt me
I used to read every horror novel I could get my hands on, but for the past several years I've been reading in other genres. I miss curling up with a good scary book, and today's dark, rainy weather reminded me that I have a lovely 10 days of stayacation ahead of me. What should I read? [more inside]
What kind of doctor should I see for this kind of leg pain?
I've recently been experiencing an unpleasant and painful issue with my leg where every once in a while it feels like there's a band stretched between my groin and my quad and that band has snagged on something. When it happens the pain starts near my groin where the "snagging" is happening and radiates down to my knee. If I shake my leg around/stretch out it eventually goes away, but it hurts like hell. [more inside]
Need an artist in NorCal for a “Spaceship Tribal” tattoo
I’m looking to design and execute a “tribal” tattoo for a tribe of people who have spent generations in ships traveling between space stations & hollowed out asteroids in the outer solar system, rather than sailing the Pacific Ocean. Help me find the right artist in/near Northern California. Details after the jump. [more inside]
What do I do if Pristiq gives me hair loss?
How likely is it that I'll experience hair loss from Pristiq (SNRI) and if so, what are my options? [more inside]
How to clean ears before ear mold?
I'm getting ear molds made for some custom ear plugs and when I made the appointment with the audiologist's office, the receptionist mentioned to make sure my ears were clean before I go. She did not seem to know anything further when I asked her how to clean them. So... I know to not get a mud bath right before the appointment but other than that, does anyone have any idea of how I should clean my ears before something like this?
Software to extract files from encrypted itunes / iphone backup
For some reason my phone refuses to install the most current backup and I was forced to use one from several months ago. This means I no longer have all the photos I've taken on my phone over the last few months.
Has anyone used any of the software that says it can decrypt iphone backups? I'm seeing a lot of products for a pretty wide range of prices.
What's new in Portland, OR?
I had a great time in Portland last November and am about to return. What's new that wasn't there before? [more inside]
Trying to source George Lucas quote
A fascinating quote from George Lucas about the three main heroes from the original Star Wars movie is going around Twitter, but no one has bothered to cite a source for it. Help me, Obi-Wan? [more inside]
Can you recommend awesome radio plays? e.g. BBC Radio's 'Cabin Pressure'
Because podcasts are not my cuppa. [more inside]
Understanding file/music storage on Android phone
I dragged a bunch of mp3s from an external drive to the Music folder on my Note 8 using Google Files app. However, no music app, including Google Play Music, sees them. I see no other appropriate folder to drag them into. What am I not understanding?
Best App or Website to Share Medical Updates
My mother-in-law is currently in hospital (and might be for a while), and various family and friends are carpet-bombing my wife with requests for updates on her status and treatment. Is there an app (iOS and Android) or website where my wife could periodically post updates that could be accessed by approved contacts? Thanks!
Where can I print a mailable photo postcard?
For Christmas cards this year, I want to send postcards that have photos on them. I do not want to have to put them in an envelope. I want to be able to write a note on the back by hand. Where can I get these printed online? [more inside]
Medicare as secondary payer?
How can I decide if MSP (Medicare as Secondary Payer) is a good idea? [more inside]
How can I take this poster with me on the plane?
I just realized that I need to take a 20" x 20" foam-mounted poster on my flight tomorrow. It definitely doesn't fit in my carry-on, and I would prefer to not check a larger bag. What's the best way to bring it with me? [more inside]
A day and a half in LA - where to stay?
Headed to LA for a concert at the Forum & wondering if there is a funky, cool, diverse neighborhood to stay in? Was thinking Koreatown or Downtown but not sure how much of a pain it will be to get to the venue (will not have car, will likely Lyft to the show). [more inside]
Amazon Renewed
Does anyone have any experience purchasing Amazon Renewed, specifically a Dell laptop?
Can I eat olive this?
Left a 3/4-full Costco jar of kalamata olives out, open on the counter, all night. Still safe? [more inside]
Songs that sample iOS notification sounds
I'm looking for songs that sample common iOS notification sounds in order to make a fun playlist! I've noticed them in several songs and I really enjoy it when they come up, especially when they're integrated into the structure of the song. Normally I'd think they're annoying because they have me reaching for my phone, but I find them charming somehow. [more inside]
Italian meal suggestions
On Sunday, I am going to cook a dinner. It's half business, half pleasure. The guests are renting two rooms in my house for a few days and I've promised to cook a welcoming meal. I know them professionally, and for many reasons, I want them to enjoy the dinner and recommend me to others, not just for cooking.
But the dinner has to be delicious. [more inside]
Cheapest/simplest way to play local media files on a TV?
Is there a standalone device that I can leave perpetually plugged in to my TV for the sole purpose of playing media stored on an external USB hard drive? [more inside]
Picture of a road with landscape changing
Is this a thing? Show me some examples: I want to see a picture of a road (ideally a vanishing point style road) but I want the landscape along the side of the road to change dramatically along the lengh of the road. Like let's say the very back part visible is mountains, then prairie, then forest and the closest (to the "camera") part is rocky. Also acceptable side-views of roads that do this, but a vanishing point road would be the holy grail. Photo(-like) better than illustration. But realistic-ish illustrations also acceptable. [more inside]
Should I skip my half-marathon?
I'm sick. I've been sick since Friday. Should I run a half marathon on Saturday? [more inside]
Where to buy custom printed/embroidered pajamas?
Where and how should I source some custom pajamas for my wife's birthday? [more inside]
Sturdy bed frame for under $500: is it possible?
I am in the market for a queen bed frame. Under $500, has a headboard, and supports two non-ace adults (500lbs?) and all the activities that entails. I won't be using a box spring so I guess it will have to use slats or a bunkie board (?). No upholstery on account of having cats. I'll be putting it on risers. Is this possible? Do you have recommendations? More details within. [more inside]
Can I buy a physical button I can push to trigger Find My Phone?
I misplace my phone a lot. I leave my phone on vibrate at all times. Find My Device when accessed from my laptop lets me find my phone easily, but my laptop is in my bag packed up when I'm ready to walk out the door. Is there some sort of physical button I can buy that makes my android phone do Find My Device? [more inside]
Watching Top Chef France as an American
I just discovered that there is a whole world of international versions of the TV show Top Chef. I'd love to watch some as an American who only speaks English. [more inside]
Is it OK to use an answer key when studying?
I'm in grad school for TESOL and I'm currently taking a Linguistics class. Our textbook has lots of exercises but there is no answer key included. I'm struggling to understand the material without a way to check my own understanding. I found the answer key book online. [more inside]
Short-term, part-time jobs without experience?
I'm a graduate student who has been fortunate to have had mostly paid internships during my undergraduate, and a relatively comfortably-earning job after my undergraduate. Now, I've switched fields and need to earn money during short semester breaks to try and offset my costs. What are some places that hire for 2 month periods? [more inside]
November 19
help us understand and handle volunteer who is weirdly miscalibrated
Asking for a friend, who is having some odd interactions with a fellow volunteer he is training. New Guy seems to give polite and reasonable responses based on weird misunderstandings of reality. Friend has no idea what's going on in New Guy's head, or how Friend should handle New Guy. [more inside]
Can I recover from messing up at my job?
I've been heavily depressed the last year or so, been through loss of friends (got walked over by people. Twice.), questioning my life choices, wondering what I'm doing with my life. Basically an existential crisis. The end result is, I lack any drive to be friendly. I'd greet people, but I don't try to engage further. I am closed in, just don't want to reach out anymore. It still hurts, and I still have difficulty trusting people. [more inside]
"It is she!"--help me place this literary anecdote?
I'd swear I remember reading a story of some writer who left an early career in journalism because he was reporting on the tragic story of a husband discovering his wife was dead and shouting "it's her!" when he identified her, and then the author's editor made him change it to "it is she!" So he stormed off in disgust and became....some famous writer? I tried googling. I tried googling it with Melville because I thought that might be it. No dice...did I dream this whole thing?
Black and White Cookie Recipes
I want to bake NYC deli-style black and white cookies. Difficulty: I want them to have a consistency more like shortbread rather than cake. Do you have a good recipe? [more inside]
Camellias in cold places
I've been asked to design a camellia garden in a cold (by NZ standards) place, -10°C (14F) is the coldest, so about Zone 6a and sloping south - which does not face the sun here! Altitude 350m. [more inside]
US Vacation - Lounging about in the Water
I am looking for vacation spot/resort recommendations in the US/Canada, ideally closer to the West Coast rather than the East Coast. I would like to lounge about in the water tranquilly in the shade -- help me find my next vacation! [more inside]
Can I eat it? Open fridge edition
The fridge where I'm staying has a tendency to pop open if you don't close it right. I got some groceries and then noticed, nearly two hours later, that the door was open and an alarm was beeping. Should I chuck my food (which would be a huge blow given how broke I am), or assume that it'll be OK? [more inside]
I could just print it on scrap paper
Have you used a service to print your own coloring book? Which, and why was it awesome? [more inside]
Between interview and job offer I quit my current job. Do I bring it up?
I've been at one job for a few months but it was a bad fit from the start. So I started interviewing elsewhere. In between the interviews and the job offer, I voluntarily resigned from my current job in exchange for severance. Company policy is anyone who takes severance is NOT eligible for re-hire.
I'm worried that the earlier end hire date, and no re-hire, will come back on the background check. The potential employer might conclude that I was fired for cause and rescind the offer. Do I stay silent and hope for the best, or do I preemptively mention my resignation to the new employer? [more inside]
Help me choose a car
I'm trying to choose between a 2006 Acura TL with 6 speed manual and a 2006 Honda Accord with a V6 and 6 speed manual. Which one is more fun? [more inside]
Gift ideas for an avid 13 year old reader
We're trying to think of good books to get for Young DTMFA (13 yo). Criteria inside! [more inside]
What kind of soles do I want on these boots?
I just bought these black leather wingtip boots on consignment (only $40!). I'd like to get them re-soled with a sole that has more traction, including when it's wet out (right now even though the soles are scuffed, they're a bit slippery). Can I go to any good cobbler for this? What soles should I get, and what am I asking for? [more inside]
The theory of music theory
Is there a book that is the music equivalent of Gilles Deleuze’s books “Cinema 1: The Cinema-Image”, “Cinema 2: The Time-Image”, and Roland Barthe’s “Camera Lucida: Reflections of Photography”?
Best resources for colorwork knitting?
I am usually a pretty adventurous knitter, and my next project will be a round yoke sweater with colorwork. I have never done any stranded knitting before, and there are several rounds with three colors. [more inside]
Do we know whether class strata stay static over time?
I was idly reading today's featured Wikipedia article about a guy I'd never heard of, Odaenathus, born in 220 CE and described as "born into an aristocratic Palmyrene family." [more inside]
Any tips or tricks to help effectively build a fake profile on Facebook?
Does anyone have advice on creating a fake Facebook account, without being caught by their fraud detection, or noticed by other people? [more inside]
Switching to a new MacBook Pro
I’m planning on buying a new MacBook Pro later this week when the one I want goes on sale at Costco. Current MacBook is 10 years old and barely functional. What do I need to know about switching and what is the easiest way to handle transferring data from old to new? [more inside]
How to find low-cost legal help to review a contract I received?
I'm a writer and the company that I worked for remotely (HQ was in NYC, I am in MI) for 15 years was sold in 2018. I was let go, and since then have been semi-paying the bills via freelance work. I pitched an idea to a company (originally an idea for a documentary film), and after several revisions, I was sent a contract. But I need help in translating all the legal-speak, and I don't have tons of money to spend on an attorney at this point. [more inside]
Libby App on 21:9 Sony Xperia 10 Plus Screen
Does anyone in the US own a Sony Xperia 10 Plus cell phone? It has a 21:9 ratio screen and I've read that some apps are able to maximize to this size and others can't, and I'm trying to find out if the library reading app Libby does or does not. Bonus points for an image!
Can I use my old iPod mini with my new Chromebook?
I have a very old iPod Mini and a new Chromebook. I would like them to play well together. [more inside]
How do I commission an artist (painter)?
My company would like to hire a painter (someone recognized or with some prestige in the art world if possible) to paint a particular New York streetscape scene for us. I'm not finding this process as straightforward as I expected. Do I need an agent? Who would you call in order to find out what artists would be a fit? Thanks for any advice!
Please help solve this media problem
Spending a lot of time recuperating from chemo in bed and watching Netflix on the old iPad Air, which is balanced on our chests or propped up in other ways. Not particularly comfortable or long-term sustainable. Is a projector the answer? [more inside]
Ever heard of a Gigaset phone? We need to get one fixed.
It's a german digital phone and we have a super old like 13 year old siemen's gigaset. [more inside]
Beat Saber recommendations
Finally picked up Beat Saber and am having a grand old time. If I never hear hunna-dolla-bills again I will be just fine with that. Up my game with some sweeter hits. Difficulty: old [more inside]
Moto G5 Plus troubles
My phone (moto g5 plus, Android 8.1) won't let me unlock it: I'll enter the code and the System UI (apparently) crashes and returns me to the lock screen. No problem, just reboot the phone, right? Except that the power button has also recently broken. Oh, and I thought I had USB debugging turned on, but apparently I don't, and I can't connect it to a computer in the normal way because I can't get past the lock screen to enable the USB connection. So I have 2 questions... [more inside]
ISO: iPad keyboard practice app with headphone support
I have a MIDI keyboard hooked up to my iPad and I want to use an app to learn piano. Unfortunately, a lot of apps seem to recognize/rate your playing by listening to the speaker output, and I want to play with headphones. Which apps will recognize my notes from the MIDI input itself?
What if McClatchy goes bankrupt?
I've watched McClatchy slowly destroy its newspapers with layoffs, as it struggles to pay off its massive debt obligations from buying Knight Ridder. Now that it increasingly looks like McClatchy is going to declare bankruptcy, what's going to happen to their newspapers?
Basic newsletter templates for nonprofit
I volunteer for a nonprofit small dog rescue group, who recently lost its tech-savvy person who handled the newsletter. I've been asked to help out, but my skills are VERY out of practice, and were pretty basic when they were current. [more inside]
PakistannnnNO thanks?
I've been asked to attend a 3-day meeting in Karachi, Pakistan. While it would be cool to be included in this and I'd be helping my client out my family are not so thrilled. Is it worth it? [more inside]
Gmail OCRs my attachments, including postal covers. Can I turn it off?
Gmail is OCRing all the images sent as attachments to me, including in my case, postal mail. Can I stop it? [more inside]
LinkedIn best practices?
I’m gainfully employed, not looking for a new situation, and not looking to be a thought leader, etc. I have the obligatory 500+ connections. I’m in a senior role at my organization. How should I be using LinkedIn? [more inside]
Is there a non-gurgling humidifier? (That we can buy in Canada?)
We have a small humidifier in our bedroom. It runs very quietly, but every minute or two, it makes a gurgling noise as it intakes water from the tank. It's not a loud noise by any stretch, but when I'm trying to sleep it sometimes keeps me up (like a dripping water faucet). Are there humidifiers out there that don't do this? Any other solutions? [more inside]
I made up this episode, didn't I?
I have an emotionally vivid memory of watching an episode of Mork and Mindy where they were held captive by an alien (?) and forced to choose who would live or die. They of course escaped unharmed, but I never forgot the terror of the thought of having to choose between your own death or living with the death of your loved one. But I can't find any record of this episode. I assume I'm making it up, but what other early 80s show might I be confusing it with?
2019 style alert on Windows desktop !
I'm wanting to send desktop notifications to users on my work LAN. I'm aware I can do simple dialog box messages and I can even do slightly fancier balloon tip notifications but I'm wanting something ideally a bit more attractive and fitting with the year 2019. [more inside]
"Year at a glance" calendar as an app?
I don't have space in my office or my home for a "year at a glance" calendar, but it would be very valuable to have a general overview of upcoming things, synced with my Google Calendar. Not just the next week, two weeks or 1 month in my calendar app. Is there an app for that? [more inside]
November 18
Comfortable dress shoes that don't look comfortable?
The company holiday party is coming up, and I have a slinky black dress and sparkly accessories, but find myself without appropriate shoes. I have problem feet and can't do any but the steadiest and gentlest of heels, and pointy toes are right out. Dress sandals are my fallback but wouldn't be quite appropriate. What's is your comfiest dressy black shoe?
Can I access my dog's and my sister's cat's treat dispenser with 1 app?
Is there an app that I can check into my sister's apartment and give her cat a treat through one of those wifi connected pet cams that dispense treats, and then, in the same app, check in on my dog and give him a treat. [more inside]
Best way to get facial creams out of jars?
My day/night creams and eye cream are all in jars. What is the best way to get the creams out without using my fingers? [more inside]
Dog book recommendations
You read dog books. I just got a dog. I have a public library. What ONE nonfiction dog behaviour and/or training book would you most recommend for me? [more inside]
How to Close/Archive my Podcast
I'm planning to end my podcast soon, maybe forever and maybe for just a season. I currently pay $15/month to host my episodes using Libsyn and would like to eliminate that expense if it's possible. If I cancel my Libsyn account, does that mean my podcast goes away from all of the podcast places? Or, is there an archive process where my podcast can continue to be heard indefinitely? Or do I need to keep my Libsyn account active to make sure I keep all of my episodes available?
Roland Barthes, bad translation?
A friend has recommended reading Barthes' Camera Lucida. I downloaded Richard Howard's translation and it made so little sense that I downloaded a second copy in French. Now I have only schoolgirl French but with the help of google translate it seems it is in fact clearly and elegantly written (first two pages at least) and the translation is beset by false word equivalences. Like, 'disorder' (désordre) when muddle, or confusion would have made more sense. Two questions below. [more inside]
Should I purchase prescription glasses in Mexico?
I'm going to be buying prescription progressive glasses/frames at some point in the next few months. I already have the prescription. Is there any cost savings to making this purchase in Mexico. The trip is already planned. If you have any experience with doing this, please let me know the pros/cons of going this route and any other related advice you may have. Thanks.
Rooftop restaurants in Wellington, NZ?
Requesting recommendations of fine dining rooftop restaurants in Wellington, NZ. Hoping for view of Wellington Harbor. Restaurant atop hotel preferred.
I want to sit in the tub.
It's looking like I might just possibly be getting to remodel a bathroom and get the tub of my dreams. You guys are so good at finding things I can't find. Can you help me find the bathtub of my dreams? Even better, do you have experience to share with any of these options? [more inside]
I already checked the couch, now I'll check the internet
About 5 years ago I bought some silver and turquoise original earrings in Santa Fe. I lost one and would like to contact the store, whose owner *might* have been the artist, to see if they can make me another single one, or if they would sell me the same earrings again. Do you know what store it might have been? [more inside]
Recommendations for a vaporizer, hopefully around $150
I live in a state with legal marijuana. I prefer to consume it by purchasing it in flower form and using a vaporizer. I absolutely can't stand reading/watching reviews by people who are weed enthusiasts and regardless I don't know of a reliable source that isn't writing an advertorial disguised as a review. I've purchased two vaporizers that are frustrating to use: dismal battery life, difficult to pack, pieces break off, inconsistent experience. [more inside]
How to get involved in volunteering when we have very young kids?
We have very young kids (5 mo & 3 yo) - how can we volunteer in our community? The logistics seem impossible. [more inside]
sticky drawers, not stuck drawers
i just moved into a new-old house, and two of my kitchen drawers have stuck-on messes i can't make any progress on. help, please? [more inside]
What kind of lamp oil to use in indoor oil lamps?
Is it better to use clear kerosene lamp oil, or a paraffin lamp oil? [more inside]
:siren: calling all ice cream making mefites :siren:
I make a lot of ice cream, but I've never made just plain vanilla ice cream, which is what I've been charged with for an upcoming celebration. What's the best vanilla ice cream you've ever made? Please share your secrets! [more inside]
Should We Move to Santa Fe?
My partner got a job offer from Meow Wolf. We're trying to decide if the move is right for us. [more inside]
Etiquette/Manners Filter: Go-To Quip for vendor "I don't work here" ?
Textwall in body of question; and also please read it just to know that we do exist and why. Loosely: I stock specific-brand merch in multiple grocery stores, as a "pull up" vendor. I am frequently mistaken for a store employee despite not having any uniform/nametag resemblance, and need suggestions on a go-to phrase to politely turn down help requests, but not seem dismissive. [more inside]
Jain diet + chicories?
I am making a menu for a person who adheres to the Jain diet tonight. The difficulty is, I can't use rice or lentils and am limited to produce that's currently available in Northern California.
Can he eat chicory salad and escarole? I asked him, and he doesn't know. [more inside]
St. Louis house architecture question
There's a particular look to old houses in parts of St. Louis that I've only ever seen here. Where can I find information about this style? Is there a particular name for it, and a reason it's particular to this area? [more inside]
Fantastic London restaurants
We (early 40s U.S. couple, no kids) are headed to London for four days next month and would like to know where we should eat! We'll be staying in Soho but can of course travel anywhere in town. Some more details inside. [more inside]
Buying a Used Piano
What do I need to know before I try to buy a used piano on craigslist? [more inside]
What info to give to a debt collection agency when disputing a claim?
I received a letter from a collection agency for a loan I did not take out. In the dispute process, they are asking for a lot of information I don't feel comfortable giving them. Is this just the normal process? [more inside]
Deciding on fees for freelance design work
How do freelance designers charge appropriate rates for custom jobs? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
Parentfilter: past as prologue; or, managing unresolved childhood issues
Sometimes parenthood brings with it the opportunity to revisit whatever badly-healed wounds your own childhood had. How do you manage these feelings? [more inside]
Fish broth for cats
Our cat needs to drink more water. While I am adopting diverse strategies, I am particularly hoping that I can make delicious home made fish broth. Do you do this? Do you have recommendations?
Best utility to find duplicate folders / directories in Windows 10
My digital archives are a huge mess, with many instances of entire folders (and sub-folders) being duplicated. I feel like my de-duplication efforts would be inefficient if I started by focusing on file-level duplicates. Instead, I'd like to begin by identifying and deleting duplicate folders / directories. [more inside]
Car with "unsolvable" mechanical problems?
My wife has a 2011 Honda Pilot with just over 100k miles on it. Recently, while driving, the electrical system went kaput, and she lost power steering, power brakes, and ALL the dashboard warning likes came on. So, we towed it to our mechanic. However, after working on it for two weeks, he finally told us, "I've never had to tell a customer this, but I don't know how to fix it." What should I do? [more inside]
How can I secure my yahoo account?
I can't figure out how to check if any 3rd party is accessing my email because the info I find online on how to do it seems out of date. [more inside]
November 17
Do AntiNuclear Antibody lab tests usually give a titer reading?
I was dx'd with SLE (Lupus) in 1989; in the years since I was also dx'd with conditions that are often Lupus-related, such as Raynaud's Syndrome, Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome, Vasculitis, and Sjogren's Syndrome. Due to many complications, I am now on Medicaid and unable to see my regular rheumatologist. After almost a year of being without my Plaquenil (primary treatment for Lupus, which I've been taking since 1989) I was finally approved for Medicaid and got an appointment with a Primary Care Physician. She included an Anti-Nuclear Antibody blood test only at my request, and then a few days later phoned me to say that it was "negative". In my experience, the lab reports for an ANA test always detail a titer ratio and a "speckled" or "homogenous" pattern. She told me that there were no numbers on the report, just a "negative". She repeated to me "Negative means negative." Don't ANA blood tests traditionally print out the various numbers so that a physician can interpret whether or not it's "negative"? [more inside]
What on earth is this early OS/early web sound from?
So I was reading the New York Times' great multi-headed hydra of a piece: So, the Internet Didn't Turn Out the Way We Hoped, which linked a video from a gen-Z YouTuber named Antonio. At 9:26, the video used a sound clip which is driving my 40 y/o self nuts. What is it? [more inside]
Help me decide on a Japan Sabbatical Plan--Breadth or Depth?
tl;dr: do I spend six weeks in Tokyo or a couple weeks in a few different cities?
I am lucky to have a six week sabbatical. I am planning to spend all that time in Japan around March or April as a first time visitor.
I am deciding between spending all or most of the time in Tokyo with maybe a few weekend trips or spreading it out between cities. [more inside]
Converting The Meme-able Into Money-Earning IP?
Whoever invented Duck/Rickrolling never got paid, but at least Rick did in a way. "This is fine" didn't earn its creator a fraction of its actual, cultural worth, but plenty of people /companies did well out of it by proxy.
Fruitless litigation aside, what (if any) are proven or possible ways of converting something meme-able into some sort of income stream for the creator? [more inside]
How can I stream media from my multiple hard drives?
I have multiple 2TB portable hard drives with various media on them. Is there a hardware solution that would let me stream this media from anywhere in the house? [more inside]
suddenly, capsaicin is bitter!?
Suddenly, in the last week or two, anything with capsaicin (chili pepper) spiciness has started tasting strongly bitter to me. I love spicy food and now I'm enjoying it less because of this. What's going on? [more inside]
How well is a particular textbook selling?
How can I find out how many copies of a specific textbook have been sold? What is its adoption rate? Or what rank, or share of the market, does a particular book occupy? [more inside]
Need ideas to ward off potential burglars.
For the second time in a year our relatively isolated rural property in what I thought was a very safe area has been broken into. The police haven't been able to help, and all the surveillance/deterrents that I have put into place have also not worked. The thought of a further burglary or possible physical encounter with my young family is starting to take a toll on my mental health. Looking for some ideas to get some greater peace of mind and/or make our home a less attractive target. [more inside]
Ideas for "Cozy" birthday evening
Hi! Next weekend I'm having a cozy night in for my birthday with some friends. I am having a lovely hot stew, homemade bread, a cocoa bar, & a fire. I would like 1) ideas for making things feel cozier, & 2) ideas for things to include in the cocoa bar that are yummy. Thanks!
Tidy analogy or quote re: plan for the future vs. crisis-to-crisis?
Specifically, in the context of planning/budgeting when one is in debt.
Focusing only on getting the $ together for the overdue rent without making a plan for how to auto-pay /budget for rent in the future is like just calling for more buckets to bail water out of a leaky boat, without also looking at how to patch the boat so it can sail the seas in the future. Or something.
Is there a better analogy? Or has some famous person summed this up in a tidy quote?
Is £17,000 a significant figure when disposing of a business?
UK (England) question. I've known of and worked for a couple of successor small businesses which were regularly (every other year) sold or reconstituted under extended family members. The figure of £17,000 has come up several times as the impetus for the change in reference to unpayable debts accrued by these businesses, e.g. as a utilities bill or as monies owed to suppliers. For curiosity more than anything, does this figure have any particular significance, e.g. some threshold for declaring bankruptcy or for de facto unpursued debts or something?
Start my morning with some lovely Italian cookies!
I need to buy some Italian cookies for a work party tomorrow. What's a good Italian bakery in nyc that will be open before 9am? [more inside]
How can I duplicate this type of online quiz?
I've been experimenting with different types of learning aids for science students, and building versions of automatically graded daily quizzes. I also spend time talking about various study techniques like spaced repetition. The first quiz in this article on quantum computing really caught my attention. How do I make something like this for different subject matter? [more inside]
Book of Penguin Books
Penguin released a book of their covers and graphic design in the mid-2000s. I believe it’s still in print, but I’m having a hard time tracking it down. Does anyone know what the title or author is?
What is the best facial moisturizer for extremely sensitive skin?
My face is prone to redness and burning whenever I attempt a new facial moisturiser; especially if they are loaded with chemicals and not non-toxic and naturally friendly. [more inside]
How do I deal with the Queen Bee at my new job?
I’ve been at my new job for about 5 months now. While it’s better than my last job, it’s not exactly my “dream job.” I’m having trouble fitting in- The Queen Bee doesn’t seem to like me. She’s the boss’s “right hand” person, so I can’t go to the boss. What should I do? (Snowflakes inside....) [more inside]
Not hungry
Client wants to pay open invoices by credit card. I don’t want to eat the cc fees. What to do? [more inside]
What illness would fit this description?
A character in the novel I'm writing -- a young woman -- has a condition/illness that can be in remission or without symptoms for long periods of time (i.e., years) but can then get worse, and then get better again. Basically a course that is unpredictable and that could potentially be serious, but could also, if she's lucky, not be. I was thinking of something autoimmune. Can you think of an illness that would fit this description?
I have an idea for a card/board game. How do I do this?
[Intellectual Property Filter] I have an idea for a card/board games. I need help finding resources on two different matters. 1. What do I need to research / what trees should I bark up to figure out the best way to bring the game to fruition? 2. How do I ensure the protection of my intellectual property (IP) while I'm navigating a way to create and market/sell said game? [more inside]
Fascinating voices and faces
I'd like to build a little library of people I can study for writing fiction. People with distinctive speech and phrasing and character. Some examples and notes inside. [more inside]
I got patch fever, and the only prescription is more patches
For some reason, over the last couple of years I've become very interested in applique style patches for the first time in my middle age life. After collecting for a while I have several dozen, but they're just lying in a box and I'm not sure what to do with them. [more inside]
Where to order decent custom water bottles in Toronto
I'm trying to get a film crew to go green and stop using disposable water bottles - compliance has been... an issue. I'm resigned to supplying them with re-useable water bottles for the duration of the shoot.
I need help finding said bottles. [more inside]
Worried about moving away from my elderly mother for 1-year
I've recently accepted a great job opportunity, but it's about 5 hours away from where I currently live. I'm excited for it and it's only for 1-year. However, I'm starting to worry about a specific scenario that could happen to my elderly mother while I'm away and I've been thrown into an anxiety spiral. [more inside]
How to co-parent with live-in ex?
My ex and I split up for good in April, after 18 years together. The last few years were rocky, but we both gave it our best. We have a 14 year old, who we are staying together to co-parent. I am dating, ex is not. Initially I said I would support my ex and we could live together until our child leaves home, but I've found the situation harder to manage than I had anticipated. [more inside]
November 16
Life tasks - what do we do and when
So to borrow a bit of Adler’s psychological theory, every human has life tasks to complete, which we all do at different ages and stages. I’m looking to get your help making a list of what the tasks are and when most people do them in a modern, western country. Here’s what I thought of so far. [more inside]
That’s what the money’s for (?)
My excellent clinical psychologist is retiring in December. How do I honour the end of a highly meaningful to me relationship that leaves us both feeling good? [more inside]
Midnight question about non-american fantasy fiction
When I watch Hollywood fantasy fiction, I can usually tell where the grey line is between "This is a pretty accurate portrait of how we think history looked" vs "Yeah this is total fantasy." For example, Braveheart and Gladiator are "realistic" history, whereas Game of Thrones is obviously "fantastic" history. However, in thinking of Japanese shows, or the little African literature I've read, I don't know what those cultures would consider "realistic" vs. "fantastic" fiction. Can you please give me some examples?
Technical advice for limiting a young person's Chromebook usage
If you wanted really careful logging of someone's Chromebook activity, and to have fine-grained control of various kinds of restrictions (i.e. can't use it at all between certain times, can't use any app but the web browser at certain times), how would you go about doing it? Details below. [more inside]
What to expect on a silent meditation retreat?
I am new to meditation and I am contemplating a 2-5 day retreat. How can I best prepare my heart and my mind? [more inside]
American in Europe?
I freelance in software development on a very niche platform. For a variety of reasons the product is more popular in Europe for freelancing. Most engagements are short (3 mos). Simple question, is there an easy route for me to take these contracts as a US citizen? [more inside]
Google is worthless without knowing the names of stuff
What is this type of handheld shower head connector - and how do I (temporarily) change it to a regular fitting for a fixed shower head? Pic inside. [more inside]
How do I get better at staying put?
I get very restless and unhappy if I have to spend a lot of time in one place, so I try keep active. But sometimes staying home or at my desk all day is unavoidable. Do you have any tips or reframing ideas for how to embrace the stillness, instead of feeling stuck?
Strategies for managing with ADHD in a new and challenging job?
I have ADHD for which I take regular medication. 2 months ago I relocated out of state to take a more challenging position at a larger and faster-paced company. I now feel completely overwhelmed. My distractability is very high and I am struggling with basic executive function—tracking and following through on tasks, synthesizing and retaining new information, proactively and regularly communicating. Unsurprisingly my anxiety level is now high also. It's like I've gone back to my pre-diagnosis state.
I need strategies to keep the lid on my head, maintain focus, and restore good performance. [more inside]
How shall I address my new dog?
Please help me discover the name of my new best friend. He's a four-year-old Australian cattle dog that I picked up from a rescue a few hours ago. He hasn't had a great life up till now.
Photos
here, here and
here.
I'm not a fan of cutesy names. In the past my companions have been named after scientists and musicians, but I'm open to anything. Thanks!
Give me some good, weird books to read.
I've been having trouble finding books that interest me lately, until I realized that I'm really looking for weird, spooky books. The one that really scratched that itch was Shirley Jackson's We Have Always Lived in the Castle. What should I read next? [more inside]
ID this logo "UF" with a long gun in between
Can you ID this logo I saw on a bumper sticker recently? It has the letters "U" and "F" with some kind of assault rifle in between.
Should I wait for the police or should I go?
This is an in the moment sort of question. It’s currently 1:23 PM where I am. At about 10:50 AM the rental car I am driving got sideswiped by another vehicle on one of the parkways that goes through Queens, NYC. Since that time, I have been waiting on an adjacent side street for the police to show up to take an accident report. Although I got the other driver’s information, they are now long since gone. My plans for the day are now shot, but I’m getting awfully tired of waiting here. Should I stick it out and keep waiting so I can have an official report? My main concern is that I don’t want this incident to come back on my insurance since I am not at fault.
Math is hard: fruitcake edition
What is the target internal temperature for a cooked (but not overcooked) fruitcake? And lord almighty can you help me figure out some volume conversions for a 25cm pan? [more inside]
Car service from JFK Airport to Philadelphia area
I'm in need of a car service to take me from JFK Airport to a residence in Gloucester County, NJ (Phila suburbs) around December 17th. I will be traveling alone with my almost 3 year old and 3 month old. I have a car seat for the baby but would need one with the service for the toddler. does anyone have any recommendations? [more inside]
Thanksgiving in Parts
I would like to have the leftovers for Thanksgiving dinner. We can't do a whole turkey, so I want to make sandwiches instead. I'd prefer to do my own roasting -- or I'd rather not have deli slices.
Where can I get turkey legs and/or roasting parts in Burien/Seattle WA?
How do we fundraise for a nonprofit daycare?
I'm on the fundraising committee for a parent-led nonprofit daycare. We would like to raise money from businesses for need-based financial aid. How do we do that? [more inside]
Really gripping biographies
Having just read Romantic Outlaws and been blown away by it, can anyone recommend other biographies or autobiographies that are written in such a gripping, page-turning style, please? I'm looking for books about any subject or time period, but they should be well-written and the subject should be likeable. [more inside]
How can I best help / support ADHD boyfriend in financial crisis?
My ADHD boyfriend needs to make more money. How can I be supportive and encouraging during his job search while still giving good advice? The things that motivate me and work for me just don't work for him. Advice from adults with ADHD or artists making a living in creative jobs especially welcome. Details below. [more inside]
November 15
Got a new job offer. Can someone help me out deciding?
So I got a new job offer, it's a very good opportunity and it really came out of the blue. I'm well connected and a friend of mine contacted me and came with this offer. I wasn't actually looking for a job. I'm a software developer, in this new job I'd be working with a lot of tech I would like. It would also give me a lot of time to focus on the things I want to do in my free time, plus the pay is way better. [more inside]
Books from and set in Mexico
Please hit me with your Mexican literature (in English translation) suggestions. Any genre, time period, etc. Just looking for good readin' [more inside]
Seeking children's book re a platypus from the 1990s
One of my son's (born 1992) favorite childhood books was about a platypus. As we recall, it was illustrated with drawings, not photographs, and the story involved other animals trying to figure out what this strange animal was. [more inside]
Seeking Scrumptious Vegan Gift Basket
A dear friend is in Los Angeles and has been diagnosed with a chronic illness. I'm several states away and would love to send a wholesome, fresh, vegan food gift basket but I'm having trouble finding one that meets my (too strict?) criteria. [more inside]
How do I track down a deceitful pop-up on android
Recently I've been getting pop-ups in Android that are directing me to a specific app on Google Play. I can't figure out which app is causing this and don't know how to fix it. More within... [more inside]
Step into my shoes and tell me where to go.
You're a single middle-aged gal with a couple of (non-negotiable-gotta-live-with-them) cats and have a stable, salaried job you love and do remotely and no particularly strong ties to anyone/anything beyond the day-to-day. Where in the world would you choose to live for a few months to just try something new, preferably on the cheap—or at least cheaper than Chicago? [more inside]
office christmas decorations for the the new office grinch
I got a new job! I will be sitting in a cube in an office. My new officemates are really gearing up for Christmas, planning their decorations with a fervor and level of secrecy that kind of frightens me. I...don't want to do this. [more inside]
Please explain these jokes in an old X-Files video game!
The 1998 X-Files video game is pretty fun, but it has some jokey banter in it that's caused me such lasting bafflement that I feel compelled to blow an Ask on it 21 freaking years later. The "jokes" are below the cut... [more inside]
Incomplete Twitter Timeline
I'm trying to find a recent tweet (4 hrs ago) by loading the author's timeline and searching down the page for text string via web browser find. It doesn't appear. This happens a lot. Does Twitter not show the complete timeline, even for recent tweets? [more inside]
Where to buy Grandma Moses prints online
I'm having trouble finding Grandma Moses prints to buy online. I've only found them on ebay, Etsy and the Bennington museum store. Does anyone have any leads ?
Do SSRI’s reduce highs too?
I’m on Paxil (20mg) and it completely ended my acute panic attacks. But I tried taking a little vacation from it, and I feel like I’ve been noticing more moments of joy. Just smiling at a pretty day or song or etc. Is this in my head, or is it the drug, or is it some third thing?
Help me find this kid's book (series) about a Catholic school girl
I'm trying to remember a book I read as a kid (sometime in the early '90s, book could be older) about a girl who starts at a new Catholic school and makes two friends: one with a girl whose family are "bad" Catholics and one whose family are "good" Catholics. I think one scene had the main character and one of the friends (not sure which) pretending to be a priest taking confession. [more inside]
What kind of improvement should I strive for between marathons?
How much time improvement can I safely train for between a fall and a spring marathon? [more inside]
Song advice for non-singer?
My son will be auditioning for his high school play. He is not a singer, but he has to have 1) a monologue and 2) a 2 minute song. What are some songs he should consider? He's already asking the choir teacher for some singing tips. Thank you!
Help me choose among these 3 (very different) phones
It's time for a new phone. I've always had some version of stock android - Nexus 5 and 5x, and currently a OnePlus 5. However, the Oneplus 7 is just way bigger than I want my phone to be. So, I'm trying to choose one out of this somewhat weird spread of phones:
- Pixel 4
- Pixel 3a
- iPhone 11
Experience with the Fujitsu ScanSnap SV600?
Women's multivitamin without biotin
Can you recommend a women's or prenatal vitamin that does not include biotin? Biotin makes me break out so I am trying to avoid it.
How to move on from homophobic abuse in a relationship?
My [F 30] ex-girlfriend [F 28] went on a seven-week course she needed for her degree this summer. She met a guy there that she says she wasn't interested in, but who was interested in her. Instead of telling him she had a partner of a year and a half, she pretended to be single. When she got back, he sent her presents and love letters to our shared apartment. When I asked her why he didn't respect our relationship, she just said: "You have to understand that I have always been ashamed of you and that I will always be ashamed of you." She then went on to explain to me that she knows she can't love a man like she loves me, but that she doesn't believe same-sex love and relationships are real. We had been planning a life together at that point, talking openly about marriage and kids. Of course we are no longer together. But how do I ever get over this? How do I ever not think of myself as a disgusting homosexual again? [more inside]
Flying Frontier for the first time - what to pay for?
I am flying Frontier Airlines for the first time in January on a weekend bachelorette trip. Base fare was only $29 roundtrip which is why I considered it in the first place. What upgrades are worth paying for? [more inside]
Making a printed photo book - recommendations needed
I would like to create a printed photo book, for a Christmas gift. There are a lot of websites that do this, I assume some better than others. Who do you like? Who don't you like? [more inside]
honest, narrative, and straightforward
I am almost done with Normal People and I want more. [more inside]
Trying to remember the name of an East Village NYC gift shop
Pretty straightforward question, I guess. I’m trying to remember the name of a kind of quirky gift shop in NYC; it closed around 15 years ago, I guess? [more inside]
Winter boot suggestions
I'm wanting to get my grandma some really nice winter boots. Her requirements are that they're waterproof and really easy to get on and off. [more inside]
Did the Tories support Labour's budgets before 2010?
I'm sure I've heard somewhere that the Conservative Party either didn't oppose or voted in favour of all of Labour's budgets when Labour were in office before the financial crash, but my Google fu isn't strong enough to find very specific evidence of this. To save me from trawling through Hansard for the next few weeks, can anyone direct me to any articles that show this?
divorce, kids, and moving
So this was me. Long story short, things haven't gotten much better, and I'm starting to consider the idea of ending the relationship. There's one big thing stopping me, though: My spouse and I moved to a different state a couple of years ago. I hate it and want to move back intensely. I'm not sure how that could happen if we split up. [more inside]
Seeking family lawyer in Colorado Springs
Seeking a Family Lawyer Colorado Springs area, divorce with a minor child [more inside]
hauntology and Afro-futurism?
Wondering if someone can explain these interesting concepts to me in a simple way. [more inside]
how do I stop getting diverted into low-impact legacy projects at work?
I'm noticing a trend recently of getting assigned to maintain old, weird, bad projects. Someone has to do it, but it's been me repeatedly. I am spending a lot of time fighting fires and fixing other people's mistakes and neglect, rather than making progress on my main projects. I'm also concerned about becoming the guy into whose portfolio you dump your junk. I am a minority, employed at will in the U.S. How can I discuss this with my manager? [more inside]
November 14
Let's Buy A Fun (but Cargo-Capable) Car!
So, my car just died in a way that I suspect may be, if not final, a poor value to fix. While I'm waiting to hear from the shop where I left it, please help me brainstorm car ideas to look at if I do end up having to take the plunge and buy something new-to-me. (Caveats: Single dude with space-consuming hobbies, dislikes SUVs, likes 'fun' cars, wishes charging an electric were practical for apartment-dwellers). [more inside]
Deciding between PPO and HDHP+HSA health plans with a potential birth?
My life is undergoing some changes in the near future which may affect which health plan to select and I am looking for some advice. [more inside]
Help me find a book for my daughter.
Please help me find historical fiction that takes place around the ancient Silk Road. [more inside]
Improving documentation organization for a group of people
Are there ways to improve use of Box? Help me troubleshoot my lab's documentation organization. [more inside]
Puppies pooping when it’s pouring
My puppy is doing well with house training so far but there’s a problem when it’s pouring rain outside. Namely, she refuses to go out there at all. Unfortunately this means sometimes she holds it too long and goes potty inside the house. [more inside]
Does anyone have experience with Genome Medical's Invitae testing?
I'm looking specifically for breast cancer testing, but any accounts will do. Here's a link to their site.
odd? traffic ticket in SC
Driving south from Charleston to Florida, I got stopped for speeding on a state highway, shortly before the interstate. (The ticket, printed from a mobile device, was for 73 in a 60 zone.) Here's the odd part: the officer hands me her business card with the printout, and tells me (not once but repeatedly) that I should email her to discuss, eg maybe reduction in points. [more inside]
Queer Dating in Brooklyn?
I'm doing the OK Cupid thing, but meeting people in person seems like it would save me a lot of messaging only to end up with "oh we have no chemistry." If I'm a genderqueer woman looking to meet other women to maybe date, are there still physical places where I can do this? Or are internet dating, social hobbies, and friends-of-friends really my only good options? [more inside]
In search of business casual style inspiration!
Could you recommend some fashion blogs, instagram accounts, etc where at least some of the outfits are business casual or more formal work attire? I’m looking for inspiration and am open to accounts / sites featuring people of any gender or size! [more inside]
How can I help my brother and mother deal with each other?
They live together at home and I no longer live there, but I visit often. He's in his early 20s and I'm about 4 years older. He's been going through a rough time after graduating from college but taking a lot of his anger and frustrations out on my mom. It's tearing our small family apart. [more inside]
Non-white futuristic interior aesthetics!
Please recommend examples of non-White futurist aesthetics (Afrofuturism, Indigenous futurism, etc) - particularly as it relates to interiors! [more inside]
unprecedented acorn abundance: anomaly or illusion?
I live in a Brooklyn neighborhood with a lot of oak trees, and it feels like this autumn there have been waaaaay more acorns than in any of the 20 previous autumns I've been around here. Can any Northeastern US naturalists confirm it's been a big acorn season this year and maybe explain why?
City of the Beasts by Isabel Allende - help me fill a plot hole!
I’ve just re-read, and re-enjoyed the book, but there’s something I just can’t work out, it’s really just a tiny detail but it’s bugging me so much, you know how you’re reading, thinking “I must have missed something,” turning the pages back and forth and back and forth in search of an explanation - so much so I kind of lost the momentum of the finale. So I’m wondering if anyone else can put me out of my misery and explain it. SPOILERS inside! [more inside]
no-egg vegetarian savory pies
I'm seeking tasty recipes for savory pies that are vegetarian and do not contain eggs. (Dairy is very welcome though.) Thanks!
Roommate leaving, best practices
It looks like my roommate might be moving to another city (from Brooklyn, NY) halfway through our one-year lease, while I'm staying in the apartment, under non-dramatic circumstances. Before things move further, I'd like to get a sense of best practices on handling this, as well as what reasonable expectations on my part would be. [more inside]
Body Decomposition in a Cold Environment
Imagine a log cabin that is unheated but dry inside. The cabin is in a snowy field, and it's January, about -5 to -10ºC, or 15–25ºF. Now put a human corpse in the cabin in a burlap sack. By March, the weather has slowly warmed up to about 5ºC/40ºF. You go into the cabin. Is the sack oozed through? Does the corpse smell yet? [more inside]
Mandalorian-Themed Cocktails?
A group is getting together to watch The Mandalorian. We love having themed cocktails for these gatherings. What should be made? [more inside]
What do I need? Have ethernet-cabled house and confused.
My new house is wired up with Ethernet jacks. But I can barely get a Wi-Fi signal on the top floor — the Wi-Fi Modem is on the ground floor.
I need a device to plug into the Ethernet jack to get Wi-Fi up there. I can plug in my laptop directly and get online, so I know it works. Googling has only confused me as I do not think I need a Wi-Fi range ‘extender’.
What do I need exactly? What it the device called? Thanks for helping me to untether myself.
ISO a FODMAP Navigation App
I'm having some GI issues and my doctor suggested cutting out FODMAP foods, but it's not very intuitive to know what's ok and constantly scanning a printout to find the answer is tedious an error-prone. Please suggest iOS apps that can help me avoid FODMAP foods. [more inside]
Inuction Cooker for an elderly person
A family member who lives in an independent living complex left a plastic pan cover on an electric stove burner. There was an aide in the apartment at the time that saw the burning cover and extinguished the fire.
It was agreed, in a family meeting, that they would not use the stove anymore and that the family would supply more packaged meals and come over during the week and cook family meals for them.
What are your thoughts on giving them a tabletop induction cooker and proper cooking utensils so they can still prepare some meals on their own?
ISO Robin McKinley Essay/Commentary
In the late 90's I read "Deerskin" by Robin McKinley. I also remember reading something at that time, also by Robin McKinley, commenting that several readers had criticized the Deerskin/Lissar/Moonwoman character for not being a virgin throughout the novel. I can't remember if this was a forward or afterward to the novel or something I read online. Could anyone please let me know the ISBN of any book that might contain this forward or afterward or where I could find it online? Google is not being helpful. Thanks.
Sports coat, blazer, suit?
My (male, american) work outfit is what I think is called business casual--dress shoes, slacks/khakis, and a collared shirt. A few times a month, I need to be wearing a suit and tie for an hour or two. What kind of sports coat should I buy to make me look decent but not be a hassle? [more inside]
Intermittently loud furnace: call the landlord?
We have a gas furnace that intermittently sounds very noisy upon starting up, like a small prop plane. This seems to happen when it's running a lot, such as during cold nights. At other times it makes only a very faint humming/whooshing sound when starting up. Is this a "contact the landlord" situation, if it is otherwise functioning fine? [more inside]
Seeking warm slip-on boots for 14W feet
My spouse has asked for warm boots he can slip on without tying for short trips between the house and garage, in our snowy climate. [more inside]
Man in Red
I've finally reached that age and girth when I've been asked to play Santa Claus for our local early childhood centre. How do I be the best Santa possible? [more inside]
Pick up your litter
What am I missing about this cat litter: [more inside]
Child Health Plus
Can someone explain Child Health Plus in NYC to me? [more inside]
Christmas presents; changing incomes
My parents don't have a lot of money. They would like to send Christmas presents. I have more money than they do. I would like to send them presents. How do I make it not awkward? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
There's no bun in this oven!
YANMD but my doctor also doesn't know, so why am I bloated all the time and what can I do about it? [more inside]
Is a university certificate is financial management worth it?
I am wondering if a university certificate in financial management is worth it if I do not have a bachelor's in finance/STEM? I am wanting to get into a government kind of job down the line possibly. [more inside]
How long until you feel normal after quitting nicotine?
Before quitting three weeks ago, I smoked for about a year. During that time I also switched up my psychiatric meds a couple of times. I'm wondering how long I should give it before I attribute my weird state of mind (read: anxious, depressed, fatigued, etc.) to the psych med adjustments rather than coming off of nicotine. [more inside]
Fun newsletters to read?
I would like to read some more email newsletters (whether from Substack or somewhere else). Currently I subscribe to Nicole Cliffe and Anne Helen Peterson's newsletters, but I would like to read some different things and perspectives. [more inside]
(UK-specific) I think someone has stolen my identity, what do I do?
A bank card and details for an account that I didn't open arrived today. I know enough to know that this isn't good, but I don't know what to do next. Hope me, MeFi.
The Enigma of Avery Label Templates
I've never, in 25 years of Mac computing, made an Avery label template work as-is. Not the design-online thing, I'm just downloading Pages templates and filling in. Most common: a font size small enough to fit the template prints out insanely small. Any general guidelines/strategies? [more inside]
Range hood installation and dampers
Do I need an internal and external flapper on the ductwork for my range hood? [more inside]
Ok, Dublin! Let’s go!
After asking Monday about a potential trip to (or connecting through) the UK immediately post the next Brexit deadline, we opted to book a trip to Dublin instead. It seems like it will be a great place to go with our 5 year old. We will do more research on sights later, but hoped those who know Dublin can help us figure out where to stay so that we’ll be central to the sights we may ultimately visit. [more inside]
Two thumbs down
My thumbs have not been functional since last January, and doctors can’t find an explanation or effective treatment. What should I do next? [more inside]
What order should my daughter read the Squirrel Girl books?
My daughter just discovered Squirrel Girl, and she wants more. She'd like to read them in order, if possible, but my usual sources for such info (Wikipedia, Amazon) aren't working. Is there an ordered list of titles somewhere on the Internet? [more inside]
How do I make a cushion out of a rug?
I am the world's least crafty person, so this may be obvious, BUT, I have a much loved kilim rug (damaged in one corner so needs retirement) that I would like to turn into a floor cushion with a bit of stuffing. Who/what terms should I look for to find someone to do this for me? Triple bonus points if you can recommend this sort of service in the UK?
I know it sounds absurd but I am NOT crazy
This question may offend if of a particular religion and if so I deeply apologize. I have been in my life deeply haunted by something and I dont know any other way to ask without sounding like a loony. I'm wondering if my belief that I am among ghosts and spirits and that I have a slight touch of ESP may be possible, or could it be proven? More on that ... [more inside]
Favorite vegetarian + thyme recipes?
I made an onion soup with thyme, butter and a couple bay leaves yesterday and it was a-ma-zing. So good. I think I’m in love. What other recipes might I like? [more inside]
How to use up low-quality tea?
The Christmas teas at Lidl had cute tins and decent ingredients. Alas, the flavour is completely not up to par. I balk at just throwing away the tea. Give me your baking, DIY or other surprisingly useful recipes that use up black tea and are forgiving of the tea's quality! [more inside]
November 13
How much is too much?
Curious what fellow Mifis are paying for their insulin?
Psych me up for a bus commute
I live in LA and have always commuted by car. I'm taking a new job that doesn't provide employee parking, and the nearby street lots are $8/day, so it's time to start taking the bus. The good news is I'm not dreading it, but I'd still like your tips and advice for making it as un-dreadful as possible. [more inside]
Purchasing new hard drive for an early 2000's computer
I am trying to access documents on an early 2000's computer for which both hard drives are broken. I think I could access this data by installing a new hard drive from the same era with Windows ME installed (I think that was the Microsoft OS before XP).. I am a bit confused about where to find a suitable hard drive and what details I need to check in terms of compatibility (possibly relevant may be RAM details, whether I need a 32-bit or 64-bit operating system)? [more inside]
Birb times
I would love to watch videos of & read essays about birds who are happy, communicative, empathetic, intelligent, and who have positive & close relationships with humans and animals of other species. [more inside]
Got a big head there, Bobo
Can other animals (apes/bears/etc) be allergic to bee stings like humans? [more inside]
Ever faced the “why are you studying language x” question?
I don’t have any Jewish heritage really - I do have some Ashkenazi family but it’s so far back that it has no direct significance in my life - so that fact that I’m studying Hebrew always prompts the question of why I bother studying the language. Plus I’ve got the whole “Oh how could you ignore what they do to Palestine?!” a couple of times. [more inside]
Not being the smartest one creates self-hate
I would like to handle being bad at things (not perfect at them) better. I would like to not feel a sense of shame and worthlessness if someone is smarter than me. More below. [more inside]
Good gifts for 11-year-old into cosplay and manga art?
I'm looking for good gift ideas for an 11-year-old interested in art and Japanese media. They like drawing (particularly cutesy manga-style work) and just got interested in cosplay. (They dressed up as a video game character for Halloween.) Other interests: cats, Studio Ghibli, Zelda, and Squishmallows (we got some Squishmallows already). Any gift suggestions? [more inside]
Spicy Salty Crunch
Anyone have a recipe for savory granola? I try to limit my sugar and prefer salty snacks anyways. Has anyone tried making granola at home with savory flavors—salt, lemon, dill, mustard, cheese, onion, peppers, whatever? I can easily find recipes for savory oatmeal, but not this... [more inside]
The perfect security camera is the enemy of the good
Are there options beyond Ring for a video doorbell that integrates with a few cameras? Or do I just have unrealistic expectations for what I think I want to do with minor home surveillance? [more inside]
How to handle private harassment in a social group
I recently discovered that a friend whose behavior I had had some somewhat hazy reservations and discomfort about has apparently been privately harassing several other mutual friends via DMs, text, and letters? possibly for years? Everyone involved is part of an extended and long-established network of friends, and the harasser is someone who has been part of this group for much longer than the people being harassed. I'm not directly involved, so I could say "not my circus" but... snowflakes. [more inside]
Is there such a thing as a stupid question?
I've recently been promoted to a position that has me supervising new people in three knowledge areas. I'm very familiar with one of the areas, less so with the other two. I've worked at my company for 13 years and been at the manager level for 6, so I'm not new around here. I know all the of these people well from working closely with them before the promotion. [more inside]
Help me feel my toes this winter
My sun room is very poorly insulated, which means that my apartment gets very cold in the winter. What steps can I take to remedy this? Difficulty level: I rent. [more inside]
Does Anyone Else Remember A Candy Store In The NYC Subway?
Back when I was in high school in the 1980s, I remember there being a candy store -- not a newsstand where you'd buy candy bars, but someplace you'd buy chocolate or caramels by the pound -- inside the 14th St Union Square subway station: if I remember accurately it was right at the top of the stairs up from the 4/5/6 platform. It went away in some remodeling of the station in the late eighties, I think. First, does anyone else remember it at all?
Second, the part of my memory that seems really implausible. [more inside]
What words do you repeatedly spell or speak out loud incorrectly?
Usually I am a good speller. But there are words that I type regularly that I always spell wrong first. For example covenant I always first spell convenant. There are other words I often but not always mess up in spoken language, usually by misordering similar phonemes (chicken/kitchen --> "The kitchen is defrosting in the chicken"). I am guessing that I am still mentally "speaking" the word as I type, and am doing the same kind of misordering for covenant, where I put the "n" too early in the word? [more inside]
Sudden Onset, Now Persistent Wrist Pain
What on earth could cause wrist pain that came on with no warning and now won't go away? [more inside]
Looking for a low-key scent
I'm looking for a very mildly-scented perfume or scented lotion. Just the sort of thing that's like a hint of fragrance, not super distinctive or punchy. What are some scents I should investigate? [more inside]
B2B Sales: One weird trick?
IdleCuriousityFilter. Why do would-be vendors always tell me all the names of everyone they've met at my company? They must learn this in school, because they ALL do it. Why do they think I'd care if they know Joe Blow in Marketing or Jane Doe in R&D? Even if it's someone I happen to know, so what? I don't get it.
How do you record music mixes, using Spotify and a turntable as sources?
I listen to a lot of music, and spend a lot of time curating playlists from that music. I'd love to turn some of these playlists into recorded mixes (while getting some DJ practice in the process). If I wanted to record mixes from a combination of Spotify tracks and vinyl records, what equipment and software would I need? [more inside]
Stealing the show
I'm looking for videos of people who are very good at what they do stealing the show. The best example I have is this video of some good guitarists performing a boring cover of While my Guitar Gently Weeps, until Prince swoops in and performs SO HARD and leaves everyone else in the dust.
Living long-term in a car city...without a car
I've never owned a car in my whole life. And for the first time in my life I'm living in a "car city" with the idea of living there long term. Will I get frustrated? Have you been in a similar situation? What were some workarounds you discovered? Should I reconsider living here even though I like it? [more inside]
Low paying retail vs better contract job & career job hunt decisions
I am currently making a mid-career change. I left my previous field to get a master’s degree applicable to new field. I know that finding a new job in new field can take a few months. I can do retail immediately at low pay, wait for a better higher paying contract job or take neither and focus solely on the new field job search. I'm not sure what to do. [more inside]
Holiday coziness for kids
Life is chaotic right now, and we need some coziness and together time. Unfortunately, I'm not in the easiest place, mentally, for making that happen effortlessly. I need a list, and I need inspiration. Can you share your favorite seasonal activities for creating a cozy atmosphere? [more inside]
Job hunting... while interviewing for residency
I'm a med student currently interviewing for residency. I'll be graduating med school in December, but won't be working as a doctor until July. My folks have been supporting me for the past six months, since I'm no longer supported by loans,* and understandably would like it if I could get some sort of job in the meantime. I'm pretty burnt out on job hunting, as I have effectively been doing a version of it (the residency application process) for the past 14 months.** How do I get myself fired up to find a part time job that will last me from now until May? What kind of jobs can I even get? Will places like Starbucks hire a weird baby MD like me for a 6 month stint? [more inside]
ADHD in the UK
I've always had serious problems with executive functioning and I've wondered if I might have ADHD. I talked to my GP about it around ten years ago and she looked at me like I was crazy and told me that ADHD is only diagnosed in children with severe behavioural problems. [more inside]
Easy as ABC, 123, PLC ...
My boss wants us to dabble in PLC programming. What are good resources for self-teaching this skill? I am completely new to this -- I don't even know what PLC stands for, so 101-level resources would be the best right now. [more inside]
traffic court. i can't get there. what will happen to me?
i was due in court today for a citation i received for not having car insurance. .. [more inside]
Book of accounts of HRT?
I'm looking to read a book (if it exists!) that would be/contain accounts of how it felt to 'be on' Testosterone or Estrogen. Ideally there would be multiple such accounts, rather than just one perspective! I've read the odd article that interviews people mid-transition, and I find it so fascinating - is there anything like this at full book length?
Name the voting system
So I was idly thinking about voting systems, with an eye on gerrymandering. And I came up with the idea to give the winner as much voting power as he got votes. So a winner of district A with 100 people who got 51% gets 51 "voting power" and the winner of district B with 1000 people and 80% gets 800 "voting power". As opposed to every winner getting one "voting power" in the Sentate/ House whereever.
Does this exist, what's the name for it?
DIY tattoo risk
My young adult kid (18) is a getting a tattoo at the home of a tattoo artist in our town who evidently has done tattooing (stick and poke) on my kid's friend and others they know. I'm filled with worry. [more inside]
How to decorate a shared game development office?
I'm involved with starting a shared office for game developers in Zurich. Right now we have a drab-looking 60sqm room with white walls and grey carpet, tables, and chairs. How do I make this look like an inviting place to work in? [more inside]
Preparatory monkeys
I have convinced myself that a prototype model of a sculpture is called a macaque. Is that right? What's the word I'm thinking of? [more inside]
Looking for a piece of short fiction from Twilight Zone Magazine
Looking for a short story titled "Dwindling" by a female author. [more inside]
November 12
How to disclose childhood and other trauma while dating?
I am an educated, mid-30s woman with a successful career in a white collar industry and a PTSD diagnosis. A couple of years ago I left a very abusive relationship and that experience was compounded by expansive grief and a very scary childhood. I'm in a good place at this point and would like to date but held back by how and when to discuss these parts of my life. Details below the fold. [more inside]
How to stop procrastinating at creativity-on-demand?
I am a professional actor. About 3-5 times a week, I have to prepare and self-tape an audition. I procrastinate TREMENDOUSLY and feel miserable every single time. Please help! [more inside]
What are hospitality jobs
I'm burning out in my emotionally demanding public sector job, but I've never had any really good ideas about where to go from here. I've sometimes thought that I'd like working in hospitality and tourism -- maybe in hotels? -- but I don't actually know anything about those jobs. What's out there? [more inside]
Should a non-veteran wear a ball cap with a U.S. Army division insignia?
My grandfather served in the U.S. Army 99th Infantry Division during the Battle of the Bulge in World War II, winning the Bronze Star. I have never served. I have always been very proud of my grandfather and would like to buy a black hat with the 99th checkerboard insignia (with no words) to honor him. Is this acceptable/appropriate? [more inside]
Catching up on sexual experience and skills
For reasons, I have not had much sex in my life. I am looking to learn now the kinds of skills and experience that you would expect a late 30s female (heterosexual) to have. Practice is the obvious answer, but seeing as I can’t control who wants to sleep with me, can you also lead me to books, videos, podcasts, anything like that that I can look at on my own beforehand to lessen the rejection from Tinder dates when they figure out I am bad in bed. Please assume I have really absolutely no idea about anything (if I know it already I will happily ignore that advice)
I have little hope anyone will be able to identify this song.
Terrible recording I made in an Urban Outfitters store, but this song is kind of weird and haunting and I wonder if anyone could identify it or the musicians.
Another font for kids book: Regular text + Fun Text
It's my with another parenting-is-all-about-font-selection question. Tell me what font to write my kid's book in. I need a regular body font but some words might be written bigger and more fun-ly (e.g. "pop" as big capital letters in a bright colour or "bumping" written on a bumping path (yes, may be too short to pull that off, we'll see, "groovy" may be written in some sort of groovy way). Please recommend, including opinions on whether I should use one font or two (or more). I have Adobe Creative Cloud, which I believe gives me all those fonts. [more inside]
Toe stepping elevator
I read this story years and years ago.
Essentially, it was about how if you stepped on someone's toe in an elevator, you'd apologize. [more inside]
Turntable with Built in Tube Pre-Amp
Has anyone seen these or have experience with turntables with built in tube preamps? [more inside]
Life insurance...for war zones?
I don’t know anything about life insurance, and I know you’re not my insurance agent, but I have no idea where to start. [more inside]
Removing snow from the top of a minivan?
I have spent 20+years cursing people who drive with snow flying off their cars. Now I am one of *those* people because I have a minivan and am too short to actually get all the snow off (and honestly in too much of a rush to do a great job on the areas I can reach). What are my options? [more inside]
Self-therapy
I can't get therapy. What's the next best option? [more inside]
Switching from Kaiser to Anthem for mental health reasons
After a lifetime (literally) at Kaiser I'm considering switching to Anthem, primarily so I can start going to therapy (Kaiser is terrible for me in that regard). But, Kaiser in every other aspect is so dang easy. What should I consider before making the switch? [more inside]
Boys Love media in China
After watching Nirvana in Fire (at Mefi's recommendation!) I've been looking up other Chinese shows and came across a genre of media known there as BL, or Boys Love. As I understand it BL involves gay male protagonists and ranges from the implied to the erotic. It's apparently popular enough that huge, expensive, popular historical romances are being made — e.g. The Untamed.
My question is: wait, what? Isn't mainland China famously restrictive, especially lately, of LGBTQ+ representation in media? How is it possible that BL is essentially mainstream there? [more inside]
Exercising with uncooperative ankles
I'm suddenly having weird intermittent pain in my right ankle, toward the outside of the joint right where my ankle meets my foot. (This came on seemingly out of nowhere, but I'm very sure that it's related to a nasty sprain I got playing soccer about 9 months ago.) The earliest appointment I could get with my sports doctor isn't for another month. In the meantime, I am in desperate need of ideas for how to exercise with this limitation -- I'm starting to feel like I'm crawling out of my skin! [more inside]
How to decide whether to go to Lebanon for NYE
I've made plans (including flights) to go to Beirut and Byblos for a week in Dec/Jan. How do I decide whether or not to go? I am not looking for an answer on whether or not to go. I'm looking for advice on how to make that call, and possibly whether to go to Israel (or Saudi Arabia?) instead. [more inside]
African Art & Architecture Book Recommendation?
I have to have a LOT of conversations about and around African Art, Fashion, Design, & Aesthetics. Are there any art books on these subjects you’d recommend? [more inside]
My new Yeti tumbler tastes like Tide.
Found a Yeti stainless tumbler for cheap at the thrift store. Unfortunately it has some kind of chemical taste in it like someone carried detergent in it for a while. I've tried rinsing it with soapy water, filling with baking soda, and currently it is soaking in vinegar. If the vinegar doesn't work I will need some other solutions (no pun intended) to remove this residual flavor/smell. Can you help?
Using Voice Access on Android with Firefox
I use Voice Access on Android to control my phone, but it doesn't play well with Firefox for Android. [more inside]
Regional Fast Food Bracket?
I remember reading a specific "regional fast food bracket" article on a sports/pop culture site a few years ago, and I'm trying to find it again. Grantland and Deadspin (RIP both) both ran brackets like this, but I can't find what I'm looking for by searching their archives. [more inside]
Tips for simulating severe UV wood damage without the actual sun?
weathering UV Lamps would do I guess, but I can't seem to find them on amazon. Any pointers would be helpful. [more inside]
Wedding photographer lost some of my photos. Should I ask for a refund?
I got all of my wedding photos over the weekend. I had paid my wedding photographer for 10 hours of her time and a minimum of 100 photos per hour. When I got the album, I didn't suspect anything was amiss, as there were more than 1,000 photos in the album. However, when I got to the end of the album, the photos abruptly stopped at the end of dinner, and there were no photos from the dancing portion of the reception. When I wrote to my photographer asking if there was a mistake, she told me that she had lost all of the photos from the last two hours of our wedding. Her SD card was corrupt and she could not access any of the photos. Should I push for a refund on the missing hours? And if so, how should I tactfully word it? [more inside]
Where to go on a road trip this week?
Can someone recommend me a general target destination for a road trip this week, starting from San Francisco and going... probably east? Hopefully places that aren't *too* icy/snowy? [more inside]
In search of searching...or something
My wife is looking for a new hobby/activity which scratches a particular problem solving/puzzle-ish itch. We've tried looking but honestly aren't even entirely sure what we're looking for so I suggested we see what kind of ideas the hive mind might offer up.
She's mostly looking for stuff that can be done indoors/at the computer but all suggestions welcome!
Her thoughts inside. [more inside]
How to soothe my ex's anxious cats until they can move in with him?
My husband and I are getting divorced. He's getting the cats in the divorce. He has effectively moved in with his new girlfriend (temporarily, until we can sublet our apartment and he can afford his own) whose living situation precludes him taking his cats with him, leaving me as the sole caretaker of two very upset cats who don't understand why their favorite human isn't around and are acting out accordingly. How do I survive this and maybe help these poor babies be a little happier? [more inside]
Ankles suck
My ankle hurts again. Last time I saw a doctor about it, they said it was a sprain or strain, but I have no memory of any specific injury whenever this happens. It occurs a few times a year and now it is my left, but usually it is my right ankle. What could this be? [more inside]
Yet another Excel Formula question
For the record - I know this question is stupid. I am trying to do what should be a simple Excel formula but it is stymieing me. [more inside]
Print resources for Adult English Language Learners
If you have experience with teaching/tutoring adult English Language Learners, which published resources do you consider to be essential? For the purpose of this question, I’m only looking for PRINT materials that deal with any/all aspects of English Language Learning for adults—day to day survival skills, workplace , health, etc. I’m looking for print resources that would be used by educators, as well as by students. Suggestions for materials for learners at all levels are welcome. Thanks!
Why are promoted tweets in Russian?
Why is Twitter sending me promoted tweets in Russian? [more inside]
November 11
Getting my foot back in the door with Apple, and other job-hunting tips?
After being laid off from my previous job, I have tried to get back in the door at Apple Retail, but seem to be hitting a brick wall so far. Also running into brick walls with my job search. [more inside]
Preview won't delete pages from a PDF (OS X Mojave 10.14.6)
I've opened up a PDF of a practice ACT test I got from Prep Scholar here. I want to split it up into the separate test categories, rather than having one single document for the whole test. I opened it in Preview, clicked on a thumbnail of a page I wanted to remove, clicked the delete key -- nothing happened. The "delete" feature from the Edit menu is grayed out.
Is the PDF saved in such a way that the user can't edit it? If so, does anyone know a workaround?
How do you get into the "don't even care if I have sex," state?
Sometimes when I'm with new potential partner, I'll *really* want sex. Other times, I can get into a sort of compassionate, caring state where there's much less internal pressure to have sex. It's very distinct. And it makes relating go much better. I don't know how to reliably do this, though. [more inside]
Need iPhone app to listen to MP3s at variable speed and make bookmarks
Looking for the best app for listening to MP3s of interviews on my iPhone. Requirements inside. [more inside]
How do I get the hair I had in India?
I recently spent a month in India, where my hair was all soft and wavy with lots of body. My hair is usually stick straight, fine and thin, and often quite dry (but so fine that any product makes it look limp and even thinner). My best guess is the high humidity was what made my hair look so nice. How do I replicate that back in dry Australia? [more inside]
Help me easily track my water intake
I need something that will stick on the side of my refrigerator, and allow me to track the number of glasses of water I drink. What is that thing? [more inside]
Do I live only so that I may die?
What is the purpose of my life? - this is a question I have been thinking a lot about. [more inside]
Fun shows set in the past
My husband and I are looking for a series to watch on Netflix or Prime that we both enjoy. This is difficult. We've narrowed it down to a) must be set in the past and pay attention to historical details, and b) should have interesting characters you can root for and intelligent plot. Humour is also good. So far we have enjoyed Mad Men and Life on Mars (British version) as well as House of Cards (British version). [more inside]
Help me decide where to live
I'm moving out of my apartment next month and trying to decide between three different places I could potentially move to, each with their pros and cons. I have to make a decision in the next day or two - help! [more inside]
How to handle this? Newly anxiety-inducing relationship with SIL.
Metafilter has always been there for me when I am in an anxiety spiral about something. I would not say I am in one now, but I was recently and upon reflection could still use advice about how to deal with this new situation with my sister in law. I never thought there was any conflict in our relationship until recently. I'll try to keep it from being too wordy but snowflakes inside. [more inside]
Funky commercial investment for personal use
There is a commercial building in my neighborhood for sale and I'm interested in purchasing for personal use (i.e. art studio), but need advice on how to go about looking into it. Details below. [more inside]
MusicBrainz Picard tutorial?
Could someone point me to a tutorial, please?
I've looked at the ones on musicbrainz.org, howtogeek, and plex.tv, all found by googling, and I find them all not basic enough. I thought I was computer-savvy enough, and music-savvy enough, but I feel defeated. None of the screenshots of interfaces seem to correspond to what I see in my version (2.2.3). [more inside]
How to take handwritten notes on Surface
I am going back to school and I have a Surface. I understand that I can take handwritten notes on the tablet and I am very excited. What app do you recommend?
It looks like there is a lot you can do in OneNote.
How do I get started?
How can I get organized with OneNote? [more inside]
Should I get rid of my toxic friend? How?
Hi everyone.
My friend and I are both 30F and have been friends since we're 4 years old. Here's a brief description of my friend and our friendship.
The positive: My friend and I can talk about pretty much everything and she's my go to when things get rough. I do believe she genuinely cares about me. When I'm down, she doesn't kick me down further and has reassured me and complimented me in the past. [more inside]
Hack for making cold brew coffee and lattes at home
We would are working on getting financially fit and we need to cut our coffee budget. I am interested in making cold brew coffee and lattes at home so that we can ditch Starbucks.
Any tips on the best cold brew system to buy?
And, an inexpensive and easy to use latte maker? I heard about Aeropress, any thoughts and advice? [more inside]
Flying Seattle to Heathrow with BA—can I put hand luggage in the hold?
On the way over from Heathrow to Seattle I screwed up and had a few toiletries that were 150ml (where the max was 100ml). Luckily I had the option to stow my hand luggage in the hold. Will I have the same option on my return journey, also with BA? I want to keep my toiletries and avoid paying for extra luggage.
How to find a part-time nanny/childcare/general help in San Francisco?
My San Francisco-based friend has a 4 m/o daughter, and has had a very very tough time with pregnancy, birth, and the first few months of her baby's life. She needs help, but she's too overwhelmed to figure out where to start. Do any of you SFers have tips or resources for finding a nanny or other childcare help? [more inside]
Windows update can't connect and other issues
I'm having a host of Windows 10 issues that I think are generally related to a corruption of user account control, and I can't figure it out. I first discovered this when trying to run Windows Update and it cannot connect, having last successfully updated in March 2019. Details inside. [more inside]
Picture books for toddlers I should not miss
My three-year-old has, overnight, lost interest in baby board books and wants real paper, and stories. Yay! Reading with him is so much more fun now that it’s not just pointing out all the fire trucks. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
Portuguese-language documentaries about community climate response
I'm looking for Portuguese-language documentary films that show how a Portuguese-speaking community has come together in response to a climate event. [more inside]
Larger photo of cat
I'm looking for a larger resolution picture of a cat (a tabby, not necessarily orange, either classic or mackerel pattern is fine) in the exact position found in this piece of stained glass. Different pictures for head/body/tail are acceptable but not ideal.
Selling your home to buy a new home (UK)
We are considering selling our London flat in order to buy one that will better suit our needs. We've never done this before. (We were first-time buyers when we bought our current flat.) I have questions about the timing of selling and buying, as well as choosing an estate agent. I'd also love any general advice from people who have been through this process in the UK. (UK-centered answers only, please) [more inside]
Flashcards for LinkedIn?
Is there an app that will slurp in my LinkedIn connection photos, and quiz me about their names/job titles/organizations?
Job interview prep to lessen anxiety
I have a job interview coming up at the end of this week (yaaay), but I have become filled with anxiety and almost dread about the upcoming interview. I've been avoiding preparing for it, or even thinking about it... how can I best prepare for it? [more inside]
Checklist for viewing a prospective house?
We might be moving and thus looking for a new house. But it's been close to 2 decades since we've been house hunting and we're feeling kinda lost/overwhelmed with what to check for when viewing a prospective house. Anyone got a link a good checklist to use as a starting point? [more inside]
The US immigration border crisis - where to donate?
In order not to feel so helpless, I want to donate to organizations that are mitigating ICE policy at the border: detention, forced separation, and deaths. [more inside]
Should I move forward with getting engaged?
I'll make this intro short. I've been dating my girlfriend for the past 2.5 years, and she talked with me yesterday about how she wanted to get engaged. I want to as well. The problem is that I don't feel financially secure enough in my career growth. The reason this is an issue is because gf's parents are strict Indian people who have told me that they want me to be in a certain place before accepting me and moving forward.
Is all work "a pie-eating contest where first prize is more pie" now?
This phrase used to be how lawyers joked about what it was like to advance in their industry, but it's starting to feel like all work is this way. Are there exceptions? [more inside]
Can I even lift bro?
I recently started working out with a personal trainer but she missed so many sessions I need to figure out how to move forward without her. I wanted to begin a starting strength program, but she expressed concerns that I wasn't ready for the most common beginner weightlifting programs. Should I begin a training program on my own or find a new personal trainer? Or something else? [more inside]
D&D etiquette, or how can we become a better team?
We've been playing D&D for a few months now - all us players are beginners, (not the DM, he's experienced). I'd like to know about ways to ensure that we have the best group dynamics possible. How to avoid players getting too frustrated with one another. Slight complication, the DM is on Skype, but all the players are in the same room. [more inside]
Another Brexit Question OR where to go w/5 yo in Feb 2020
We’re making plans for school vacation week, 2/17-21/2020. The next Brexit deadline is 1/31/2020. We’re trying to decide where to go, and are a bit torn. [more inside]
managing travel receipts for Xledger(is there an app for that??)
I both tend to lose receipts, and even if I've kept hold of them, fail to hold attention all the way through the tedious xledger entry process to actually get the reimbursement form submitted. Does an app exist where I could snap a photo and QUICKLY code it for easy upload/entry later? Bonus points if it specifically works with xledger! [more inside]
Teen books where friends are imperfect
My 11-year-old son is struggling with new friendships at a new school. He is very loyal to his friends, who can be difficult and get in trouble, and that can lead him into trouble. I would like to find teen fiction books that address these kinds of situations -- for example, where the kids have friends, and those friends are imperfect and do bad things, and kids have to decide how they will respond. I'd also be interested in teen fiction that addresses issues of troublemaking, independence or loyalty more generally. He is a fairly mature reader for his age, so books aimed at 10-14 year olds might fit the bill.
Finland fun! Difficulty level: cold and rainy November
We have a couple of weeks in southern Finland. Most of the recommendations on here have been for summer. We are looking for recommendations for November. What are your top tips?
November 10
Anyone has experience with the minimally invasive hallux valgus surgery?
Hi all,
I'm curious to your experience if you've had the new style, minimally invasive hallux surgery, Percutaneous Bunionectomy, where they make several small incisions instead of 1 to 2 large ones?
If yes, what was your recovery like, do you have loss of mobility, and overal, are you satisfied with the results? [more inside]
Has animal behavior study led to direct understanding of human behavior?
What examples of studying the behaviors of animals led to breakthroughs in understanding the behavior of humans in a direct or correlative way? As in, has a Jane Goodall of some species study (like meerkats) been like "Eureka! Meerkat behavior for how they don't want to take out their trash is exactly like teen males!" Or is there some discipline in behavioral studies that is dedicated to finding these common links?
Green tomatoes while nursing
I ate raw green tomatoes. Can I breastfeed? The Poison Control hotline confirmed that there can be toxins like solanine that theoretically can pass through breast milk, so to be safe, i should give the baby stored breast milk and "pump and dump" for a day. Really? [more inside]
Allergic to new puppy. Looking for advice / success stories
Hello fellow sufferers. So the title is pretty explanatory. My family wanted a puppy so after a lot of research we identified the breed etc.
I (the potentially allergic person) even had a skin allergy test done. The tests came back negative, but the allergist cautioned me and said basically they only test for major proteins and it was possible I was reacting in the real world to proteins that they dont test form. [more inside]
Help Identify (indie?) Card Game Like Set + Memory
This year at XOXO Fest I played a card game that had elements similar to Set and a basic memory game. You placed square cards upside down and then took turns either viewing, flipping, or sliding cards IIRC. The object was to make a set of cards in a row. [more inside]
Boys vs Girls
A question just came to me as I was looking over legal papers. Is there any research that says that men who father mostly girls do or don't get along with men who mostly father boys? [more inside]
Buffet Recommendations in Las Vegas
Are there any Vegas buffets that will have no wait? This is for a weekday (breakfast, lunch or dinner). We want whatever the best options are that won’t have a wait. Thanks!
This one is kind of a necessity
My landlord is refusing to fix a broken toilet, claiming it's my fault that it keeps clogging and therefore it's *my* responsibility to hire a plumber and pay for the subsequent repairs. Meanwhile, my toilet keeps clogging up so badly I can't use it and it's only a matter of time until it floods the apartment and rains shit water on the shop downstairs (sorry but it's true). [more inside]
Learning to read tarot - first steps?
Looking for suggestions -- books, websites, personal anecdotes -- about what to do once you realize, "I want to learn to read tarot." (Like, other than "Buy a deck," what are the literal next few steps?) [more inside]
Soft Skills courses for introverts
What are some great "soft skills" management courses (especially geared to deep introverts, socially anxious, low EQ type people) that I can ask my job to pay for?
Can Someone Offer Me Any Kind of Explanation of this Behavior?
There is a man I just cannot get out of my head, so I made a bold move. His response has been...puzzling. Can someone offer insight? [more inside]
Where to eat in San Juan
I’ll be spending a few days at La Concha resort in San Juan, PR and would like to eat amazing food that locals eat. The nearer to the resort, the better. Where should I go?
What's a non-Apple replacement for an iPod Nano?
It finally happened: my iPod Nano 7 bit the dust. I bought the Nano 7 as a replacement for a previous Nano 5, even though the 7 was the obviously inferior model, lacking the scroll wheel. I see that the Nano is no longer manufactured in any model, leaving only the iPod Touch, which has all the drawbacks of the 7 and is also way too huge. It's clear that Apple no longer makes products I want to buy, so where do I go from here? [more inside]
What is your chill vibe?
I'd like to know what environment/mindset really resonates with you--is there an awesome place in your head that may or may not exist in reality that really ticks your boxes re: safety, comfort, relaxation, and empowerment? Do you know why it resonates with you? And if not have you considered it? As much detail as you're comfortable giving is welcome. Example inside if this is abstruse; I guess it's sort of like the idea of a "happy place" but specific. [more inside]
should I stay or... you know the gist
My job isn't fulfilling me creatively, and is causing me a lot of anxiety, but I can't really decide once and for all whether I should stick around and suck it up and know I'm getting a good salary in a sector that is meaningful to me, or whether I should leave and risk ending up with a worse salary or an equally toxic job elsewhere. I feel like this question has been asked a thousand times, but I just need some help getting over the hump. [more inside]
Gaining Perspective on Unrequited Something or Other
When we were 21 years old, a friend had a crush on me and I rejected him. 12 years have passed, and we have kept in touch despite living thousands of miles apart. We've traveled together, were roommates for a time, etc. Neither of us has made a move since that one rejection, and I doubt he is interested anymore. But I am. I miss him a ton and fantasize about us being together. And then I get sad. Should I dismiss these fantasies or should I make a move? [more inside]
Really really long audio recs needed with no sexual violence content
I’m working on a several month project that involves listening repeatedly to conversations about sexual trauma for long hours. I use audiobooks to unwind while I do chores and craft and I have run out of non-sexual violence content. I’ve tried only YA audiobooks but so much coercion! Loved The Magnus Archives but maybe less nihilistic. I hate true crime. I need at least 20 to 100 hours of content In one books or podcast, something I can sink into.
Favorite stops along I-70, St. Louis to Limon, please!
Asking for a friend: What are your favorite places to stop/eat/shop/browse/stretch your legs along I-70 from St. Louis, Missouri to Limon, Colorado? Long road trip ahead, looking for places to take brief pauses along the way. Thank you! [more inside]
Wherefore art thou pawpaws?
I would like to acquire some pawpaw fruit in time for Thanksgiving. Is this possible? [more inside]
I need legal help with my taxes in NY.
A few years ago I owned a business. As part of the business dissolution, I received a relatively hefty sum in personal goodwill separate from the sale of the business assets and customer list. Unfortunately, at the end of the business sale process my life took a real turn and I never got everything handled with the IRS. I need to know who to talk to and in what order. [more inside]
Another Name my Blog Question - Women's Health Edition
I'm planning to start a blog that focuses on managing Endometrial Cancer, PCOS, and infertility. These are three separate issues that are linked. There are many blogs out there that focus on PCOS and infertility, but fewer that focus on Endometrial Cancer, so that will be the primary focus in the beginning. [more inside]
Help Me Give To Teachers
Mr. Westridge and I would like to give some assistance to teachers in our area this Holiday season. We don't have kids, and so are pretty clueless regarding whats needed and how to get it into the right hands. Details follow. [more inside]
Where to vacation (with swimming) in Feb/Mar?
I’d like to make a long list of possible vacation options for a long weekend in February or March. Details inside: [more inside]
Limits of time on a 7”
I’m working on an EP that I planned to release on a 7”. I’ve read that 7” records have a limit of seven minutes a side, and one side is coming out to eight-ish minutes. Is seven minutes at 33 the hard limit for time on one side of a 7” record?
Smoke alarms in basement
I’m a first time home owner. My basement has furnace, water heater, and laundry (all gas powered) and the electrical panel. Should I put a smoke alarm in my basement? If so, how will I be able to hear it in the middle of the night? My bedroom is in the finished attic 3 floors up.
Low-acid, non-irritating, easy-to-make, non-dairy recipes & snack ideas?
Mr. Pup often gets canker sores. Eating anything acidic or spicy hurts / delays healing, so he eats bland food (basically rice and bread) when he’s on the mend. He ends up losing weight because the food is so boring, and he’s trying to gain weight. What low- or no-acid recipes and snack ideas can you share to keep Mr. Pup eating while he heals? [more inside]
November 9
How to set wholesale price to independent gift shops?
I want to sell items to independent gift shops, not a Spencers or Hallmark store. Looking for guidance on how to set wholesale price based on what I think the retail price would be. [more inside]
Hairstylists of Metafilter, lend me your shears!
My new shag haircut looks dull and blocky. Could it be an execution error by a stylist using the wrong tools? If so, what's the best way to get it fixed (if it's even fixable)? [more inside]
Is “Guts” the book too old for my kid & other anxiety book recommendatio
My 4 yo saw the book Guts today at target and fixated on it; I want to give him language to talk about his anxiety but I don’t want to feed / seed it either. Is the book too old for him?
And what other books would you recommend for parenting an anxious kid? [more inside]
Need e-bike recommendations for pulling a baby trailer
My wife and I have two kids who go to different daycares, and only one car. We are considering upping our commute game with an e-bike, which would be used to pull a trailer containing one of the kids. I'm looking for general advice as well as recommendations for specific models. [more inside]
I have the liners, now I need a shell
I have a shell (jacket) with two liners. The shell is damaged, but the liners are still in great shape. How can I shop online for a new shell? [more inside]
Should a Dr recommend a transfer of care away from another specialist?
My mother has been diagnosed with what two separate neurologists have independently concluded is probably Alzheimer's. My father took my mother to another doctor for a third opinion. The doctor had my father sign a "transfer of care" away from the neurologist she is currently seeing to her( the new doctor). Is this normal? [more inside]
Best places to get bakery boxes made from plant fiber?
My wife started a bakery this year and has worked really hard at getting earth-friendly packaging. One thing she's had the hardest time finding, though, is cake boxes. She's hoping for a variety of sizes. She would like to find something made from plant fiber (like sugar cane) because she likes that it's more easily renewable than trees, for example. Does anyone have any ideas?
Should I tell my ex what his problem is?
Had an ultimately unsatisfying pseudo-relationship with someone who I now realise fits all the criteria for an Avoidant relationship style. I know he wants to have a loving relationship, and is flummoxed as to why this keeps happening. Do I break my no contact and share what I've learnt from reading about attachment styles, in a non accusatory and hopefully helpful way? He is a good person and I don't want him to be alone forever, which he is convinced he will be, and honestly so am I. [more inside]
Working harder but losing lean mass...who do I talk to?
TLDR; my DEXA scan shows a lean mass decrease of approximately 3kg, and a fat increase of about the same, in spite of increasing my strength work outs. Why is this happening and what sort of professional do I talk to figure out how to reverse it? [more inside]
Unvaccinated adult, travel, and measles outbreak
My 38-year-old partner's mum has just revealed they never vaccinated my partner against measles and whooping cough as a child. This is ahead of a holiday - with the mum- somewhere with a measles outbreak. I have a ton of questions, which include how to discuss this with their mum and where/whether to travel at all. [more inside]
Can I pick up a police report in Jersey City that someone else filed?
I loaned my bicycle to a friend in Jersey City and it was subsequently stolen from their building's bike room (along with several other residents' bikes). The police report my friend filed is now ready to be picked up, which I’d like to do ASAP to get the ball rolling on an insurance claim. Is it even possible for me to go get a copy of the report in person even though I'm not the one who filed it? [more inside]
Which music file is "fresher," from my computer or external hard drive?
Need advice on hard drives w/ music files. Seven years ago I ripped a bunch of CDs and also backed up the collection to a Passport hard drive (a little Western Digital black box). I started playing the files on the computer, a Dell laptop, and have ever since. Now, I want to throw all the same music onto a different computer. Should I use the files as they are from the old computer, where I've been playing them? Or would they be "fresher" coming from the Passport hard drive that's just sat safely for seven years? [more inside]
Shipping car across state lines to unreliable family member (not my idea
A member of my family is shipping a car across state lines to their daughter who is not reliable. In order to ship the car to Daughter State Y, the car has to be registered and have plates in Home State X. Last time my family member shipped a car to this daughter (yes, second time), daughter did not register the car or get plates in Daughter State Y. All of the tickets and toll bills etc. ended up eventually routed to my family member who paid them. [more inside]
Should I (M 28) leave my partner (F 30)?
I've been with my partner for four years. Never really had a 'butterflies in the stomach' kind of feeling with her, but we're generally fairly compatible despite having completely different hobbies and interests. Ended up falling head over heals for an old family friend and starting an emotional affair. My partner discovered by reading messages. We've subsequently realised we'd both been very unhappy over the last 2 years, but seem to have identified many of the problems. I'm still not feeling 100% about the relationship though. Should I leave? [more inside]
Casual fun family board games for new English learner
Looking for board games for a pre-teen girl who will be coming from a Spanish speaking country to live with an American family, with not much previous study of the English language. [more inside]
How to use an RCD socket?
My rented garage has this RCD power socket installed (or at least one that looks identical). It's acting like it's permanently tripped. Am I just using it wrong? [more inside]
How Do Daily Marijuana Smokers Travel Internationally?
I use marijuana nightly for anxiety, depression and sleep. I am traveling out of the US for a week. Am I going to get withdrawal? How do I deal?
Details inside [more inside]
Help identifying 1920s camera
I've uploaded some images here - can anyone tell me what type of camera this might be? [more inside]
Burn it all down
Advise me on roach sitings and how to get rid of the *****ers. Complication: new house, a couple of innocuous bug sitings, and prior apartment had roaches but was regularly sprayed. [more inside]
bulk powdered broth at Berkeley Bowl
When I lived in the Bay area I used to buy really great, fairly cheap ($7/lb) vegetarian stock powder (sometimes chicken flavored, sometimes "vegetable" flavored, both were good) in bulk at Berkeley Bowl. I moved away and can't find anything that's as good & as cheap, so I'd like to order it in bulk online. Does anyone know what brand it is? I don't think it's Frontier, which seems to be the most common bulk bin supplier.
Best fleece-lined leggings?
I want some fleecy leggings for winter. I would like them to be high-rise, come in 7/8ths or petite lengths, and resist pilling and bagging. A higher price point is fine if they are really well made. Thanks!
November 8
Advice on anxiety meds
I've been unhappy with zoloft/sertraline and don't know if I should try something new or continue to make the best of things without it. What should I tell my psychiatrist? [more inside]
Choosing between jobs
Offered a job change that sounds less interesting and would force me out of my comfort zone, in exchange for a significant raise. How should I make this decision? [more inside]
Help navigating the final steps of foster/adoptive parent certification
My wife and I thought we were in the final weeks of our road to becoming certified foster parents. Unfortunately, we've hit a roadblock, or at least a significant speed bump. The social worker at our agency is now demanding that my wife attend several months of therapy to obtain a written letter from the therapist that her anxiety diagnosis will not be detrimental to her being a good foster/adoptive parent before they will certify us. We feel horrible about this, as my wife's anxiety is minor and not something we believe would cause us to be unfit parents. We are now wondering if we should switch to another agency, try to plead our case with the current agency, or just suck it up and do what they're asking. Details below. [more inside]
2 jiggers of frustration, garnish with a soupçon of rage
My small division was acquired by a big corporation that is systematically ruining everything good about it. I would like to have a signature cocktail to drink on evenings when something particularly egregious has happened. Suggestions? [more inside]
Harrumph...How To Talk About Trump
How do you have a conversation with Trump supporters about politics, or anything related to politics? [more inside]
Your best non-fiction books of the decade?
Which non-fiction of the past ten years should I not miss? I'm looking for books that you're pretty sure you'll still be recommending thirty years from now. [more inside]
Entry-Level Marketing Job Woes
I need help finding an entry-level job in marketing in the Los Angeles area (although I live in Riverside right now). I’m sort of flailing in the dark here; nobody I know works in marketing so I don’t have anyone to ask for help. [more inside]
Warm Me Up in the Twin Cities
A few months ago I relocated to the Twin Cities area. Suddenly it is unseasonably cold. I think I need a new coat sooner rather than later. [more inside]
Slammed a door on my toe - should it be better?
I slammed a door on my big toe while wearing flip flops about a week and a half ago. Under my nail is a little sliver of blue - I think that's blood because I poked it thinking it was dirt and it bled. Anyway, I'm worried because it's still very tender to the touch. Although I've been walking on it since I hurt it and it's not crazy painful. Should I go to the doctor or just let it heal? I know YANMD but just curious. I can afford to go to the doctor but I just don't want to take an extra trip.
Car rental in Cozumel vs Scooter rental
Going to Cozumel for a week — do I rent a car the whole time or could I get by with a scooter the whole time for exploring the island? [more inside]
Office food vendors question
A lot of co-working spaces offer healthy snacks, coffee, etc. for sale. Example here. We are looking for a vendor who will install and operate a vending arrangement similar to this (not vending MACHINES, something similar to the video posted) in our building in New York City. I am having trouble locating any companies that operate like this; does such a thing exist?
How do we remove these brackets?
We’re taking down some curtain rods, and can’t figure out how to remove the brackets that were holding them. Here’s a photo of the whole bracket and a photo of the top, which is the only clue to its attachment. All other edges are flush with the wall. Tugging in any direction (up/down/left/right/out) is doing nothing to dislodge it. How do we get these things off?
Reading puts me asleep; or I simply drift off.
I read a lot; short stuff; NYT.
But anything like a book I find myself drifting away, wondering what I just read. Little retention, easily distracted, so little memorization and comprehension. I try to read again, harder, concentrate more. Not my glasses (I've had them checked for reading distance) and not the subjects. This is not new, had trouble when I was a kid. Help! I want to read all the books I buy but barely get started on. Need to add that short attention is not just a reading issue in my life!
Hypoallergenic electric guitar and bass strings?
I have a nickel allergy. I also have a cobalt allergy. I might have a chromium allergy as well (am currently looking at getting tested for that). Do electric guitar strings without any of these metals even exist? And if they do, do they exist in heavy gauges (12+ on the high E ideally)? What about bass strings? [more inside]
Female-fronted music with a certain vibe
I started building a Spotify playlist and would love help finding more things that fit the vibe. The artists are all female (with a few that have supporting male voices, but not many) with smoky, rich voices. I titled it Velvet in case that helps set the tone. [more inside]
Ambitious vegan thai recipe for a potluck?
The title says it. I am a pretty decent cook with access to a giant Asian Supermarket (and vegan ingredients nearby too). What I don't have is any experience eating Thai food beyond pad thai, green curry, and red curry. October's Palak Corn and September's Mole sauce on roasted veggies went over really well, so I want to impress again.
A 2019 Guide to Laptops
I found a great deal on a laptop (I think!) but I'm woefully out of the game on what to be looking for. I want to use it for school, programming, some games. I mostly want it to last! [more inside]
Best app for merging family member calendars?
I need to coordinate multiple family members' calendars including iOS, Google and Outlook. I attempted to use FamilyWall, but it will not pull in one iOS calendar and their tech support has been unable to resolve it. Can anyone recommend a good app for this?
Where is lying to police legal?
In which countries, if any, is lying to police unpunished? [more inside]
National Geographic was wrong!!
I'm still considering the potato, and this is a question about Acadian recipes, and salt pork, and potatoes. The internet has a trillion recipes, but some clarification would be helpful. [more inside]
Do I still need my Apple TV hardware appliance?
Is there any reason to keep my Apple TV (hardware device), if I sign up for Apple TV+ (the streaming app)? This seems like a simple question, but my Google-fu is failing me. [more inside]
Tween holiday gift ideas, 2019 edition
I need gift suggestions for family and friends who like to give gifts to my tweens for upcoming holidays. These kids have everything they could think to ask for already (literally shrug when I ask what to tell people). [more inside]
Seeking pretty, engaging games with no violence: 2019 edition
I asked this question six years ago, but I'm getting an Xbox One and so I thought I'd ask again: what's new on the visually stunning, nonviolent exploration/puzzle games front? [more inside]
Financial Aid and Nontraditional Students
My partner is in college for the first time, balancing school with work. He's not getting any financial aid outside of loans-- is there anything we should be doing differently, or is that just the norm? [more inside]
Talking to people you dislike
Looking for recommendations on books (audio is fine) or podcasts that tackle the issue of talking to people who you disagree with or openly dislike. [more inside]
These soundalike songs. What are they FOR?
I picked up a "Hits of the 80s" album on YouTube music and only realized while listening in the car that NONE of the songs were originals. They were all soundalike covers. (The Ultravox one really made my eyelid twitch!) I understand such songs are made for advertising purposes... and it didn't cost me anything to download, but why the heck would a consumer buy or want an album of fake songs? In short, what are they for? [more inside]
Arabic calligraphy, Marvel edition
It's another Arabic calligraphy question, this time supervillain-themed. Can anyone read what it says on this t-shirt, around the Hydra skulltopus? [more inside]
Is there any way to shorten the recovery period for sudden neck pain?
Do you ever turn your head while awake or asleep and feel a muscle in your neck do something weird, which results in not being able to turn your head normally and without pain for several days? That happened to me this morning and today has been a complete waste. [more inside]
How best to organise old family photos?
I have a few hundred old family photos that I want to digitise (using my iphone).
Please give me your recommendations on how I might best organise and store them together with some text about each photo. [more inside]
November 7
Spy kids!
What's a good Christmas present to give a 7 year old who's getting into spy and detective stuff? [more inside]
iPhone and iPad neophyte. I now own both. Need online tutorial.
Stroke of luck, a friend re-signed up for new cable, new phone service, new iPhone. Sign-up bonus: brand new iPad. He sold it to me for $100. Another friend just got latest iPhone, sold me his iPhone 7 Plus for $150. So I've a brand new iPad, a sweet (if a bit dated) iPhone. I've used cheapo android phones and don't even know what all they can do -- Apple a whole nother game. Seeking instructional site, series of videos, where I can go from knowing nothing to utilizing these amazing pieces of gear. Any ideas? [more inside]
Autistic anxiety on new hobby projects
I'm after some rational solutions to reduce a newly-recognised but long-term trigger for anxiety. [more inside]
Indoor Workout Level 1
I want to work on my physical fitness, but I don't want to leave my house. [more inside]
Learning how to write short stories
I'm interested in writing short stories (genre fiction more so than literary or non-fiction). Share with me the best resources for learning how to do this well. [more inside]
Map Making
For an art project, I would like to generate some maps of neighborhoods in various cities, from OpenStreetMap, I guess. I would like to keep this as simple and cheap as possible. [more inside]
Tell me about your beepless microwaves
You have a microwave on which you have completely muted button and reminder beeps. What specific model is it, and would you recommend I buy it? (Please no comments about how the beeps are for safety, etc. I am aware of the danger of leaving bagel bites in the microwave for too longer after they're done, thanks.)
Where should I buy couch cushion foam replacements?
My couch is about 10 years old, and while structurally sound, the foam is noticeably less supportive than it used to be. How should I go about replacing it? [more inside]
Definite article question
I have a question about definite article use--and its non-use. [more inside]
Refurbished Playstation 3 or new Playstation 4?
Seems obvious that the answer would be PS4 if I can afford it, BUT there are snowflakes involved. My primary use for the Playstation will be to play RockBand, puzzle games (like Portal 2), and games I can play with my 6.5 yo daughter (like MineCraft). [more inside]
Excel crossword puzzle that triggers conditional formatting when won?
I’m making a custom crossword for which the player will input their guesses into Excel. My plan is to have two sheets in this document: a hidden puzzle with all the correct letters in it (the player is on the honor system), and a visible sheet with the proper boxes blacked-out and the rest empty. (Obviously each cell has to correspond exactly between them.) I know just enough about Excel to know that there’s gotta be a way to set up a visible indicator when the puzzle is completed successfully, but… [more inside]
Does anyone, anywhere, like their wired smoke detector?
Our smoke/CO detectors are at the end of their lives.
Time for new ones.
The thing is, everyone hates their smoke/CO detector. [more inside]
Help me escape Orange County. Just for a little while.
I live in Orange County. I'm not from around here, originally, but I've been here for about 10 years now. I find that I've been in my office for the past few hours, listening to Elton John's "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" on repeat, and longing desperately to get away from the shiny, commercial, traffic-filled life and somehow, just for a little while, escape. For people who are in Orange County: Is there anywhere you like to go when you feel like this? [more inside]
What's my website name - mentorship edition
I've been doing this unofficially for several years and I finally want to try to take some next steps with my freelance work. I want to focus on resume review, interview prep, and career coaching. Help me pick a domain name.
Who is this artist?
My mother has three prints that she acquired knowing only that they were "a Chinese artist," and although I can make out part of the title of the prints, I haven't had any luck figuring out the name of the artist. Can anyone read either the title of the prints or the artist? Bonus points for the seal! [more inside]
Book on nutrition for middle-aged (and older) female athletes?
I'd like a book on nutrition aimed at athletic women aged 50 or higher. Any favorites? [more inside]
Gift for 9 year old cat lover
My daughter's friend is turning nine. According to her mom, she likes "anything cat. Toys, books, clothes, you name it." This somehow does not help narrow it down at all! Please help! [more inside]
What are my insurance options (while unemployed) in NY state?
I live in New York, am quitting my job, and plan on traveling and maybe doing a freelance project or two in the next 3-4 months. What are my health insurance options in the meantime? [more inside]
Tell me about your Ektorp
I last had an Ektorp 3 seater couch purchased in 2005, before they came disassembled. You literally walked out with a couch. My understanding is that now they come disassembled, with a base, back, and arms. I LOVED that Ektorp. Do the "new" ones hold up as well? Are they as comfortable? I'm looking at the 3.5 seater, and it's at the way high end of my price rage, but I don't want to get it if they aren't as comfortable as they used to be.
Where is the eggless vegetarian Thanksgiving stuffing of my dreams?
I need an eggless vegetarian Thanksgiving stuffing recipe. Over the years I've tried many, and they've mostly sucked. Parameters inside. [more inside]
Custom vinyl wall decal printing for work logo
Hi all, my job just designed a swanky new logo and we'd like to stick it up on the wall outside our office. Probably something around 3 feet long by 2 feet high, with color (not black and white). I found a few options online for custom vinyl decal printing -- does anyone have any specific recommendations or stay-away-froms? [more inside]
Colored food contest
You all were so helpful last year in my sister's Thanksgiving appetizer competition, here's this year's... Select a single color and make a dish. We need 2 for adults and 1 for a tween. Only green has been taken. Suggestions?
A decent sectional couch for under $1500?
I am looking for a decent sectional couch for under $1500, but I have many conditions and it is making things complicated. The biggest issue is that the longest part must be <110'', and I have cats so I need a slipcover to fit it. [more inside]
Videos about mental disorders
I'm prepping to teach abnormal psychology to undergrads, and want to find some videos about various mental disorders to show. What engaging, short to mid-length (<30 min) videos have helped you understand a mental disorder in a new way? [more inside]
Switching out my coffee habit with Vyvanse/Adderall. What to expect?
For those who dropped their caffeine habit cold turkey (or close to) in favor of ADHD meds - should I expect to have any withdrawal symptoms? Or will it feel like an "upgrade" since ADHD meds are generally regarded to be more "powerful" than caffeine products? [more inside]
Can you share current perspectives on the pride flag and trans flag?
Within my organization, there has been rising awareness of the transgender day of remembrance, culminating in an event. The organizers - who identify as trans - have asked the org and attending individuals to not display rainbow pride flags/symbols during the event, just trans flags/symbols. [more inside]
How many books are printed in one edition of a book?
Is there a way to verify the number of books printed in a edition of a book?
Fiction and poetry about dementia
I'm wondering if anyone knows any established poets or authors of other genres who have written about dementia. [more inside]
workouts for the uncool
I’ve been trying to find a workout class to sign my partner and I up for, but totally overwhelmed with these new fancy classes. Help. [more inside]
Moving to a new place with a new roommate: am I not doing my share?
A friend asked/offered to live together in a new apartment, but now seems to be dragging their feet a little. Should I chalk it up to them being worn out and short on time, or bail on this whole idea, and if it is reason one, should I be doing more to help with the apartment search> [more inside]
Rotating List App
I'm looking for a todo app with a difference. I want a list (or ideally multiple lists) where I can input a list of tasks and when one has been done it goes to the bottom of the list. [more inside]
ePOS data locked in
I'm a customer of an unscrupulous ePOS company - all of my stock holding is stored in a Firebird database. Pictures, barcodes, stock levels, descriptions etc. I'd dearly like to move to a new ePOS provider and import my current data into their system. My current provider won't help with this and they won't disclose the username and password, either. [more inside]
Two screens, how to use them?
Please tell me about your dual-monitor setup and how are you using it to be a (more) productive business professional. [more inside]
November 6
ideal battery-powered under-counter lighting
I bought a motion-detecting light set to attach under the upper kitchen counters. It will only light up when it's dark, because it turns out it's for closets. I want to be able to wave my hand under a small, bar-shaped, bright, batter-powered light and have it brighten for 10 or so minutes. Does this exist? [more inside]
Two bulbs, one fixture
How could two CFL light bulbs burn out at the same time? [more inside]
Affordable way to get legal advice for immigration by marriage?
I'm an American looking to marry a Chinese citizen, with the aim to move to America together (we are currently in China). It seems pretty straightforward, but I have two questions...within! [more inside]
See the line where the sky meets the sea? (career change edition)
I want go into ocean science - but I have to navigate some tricky obstacles and a whole lot of unknowns. I also have no idea what I'm doing. More below the fold. [more inside]
Options for nail clippers for arthritic hands
My mom has bad enough arthritis in one of her hands that she seriously struggles with trimming her other hand. Are there any options that might work better for her? [more inside]
Seeking subversive fiction
I really like fiction that takes established universes or tropes and plays with them or completely subverts them. What should I check out next? [more inside]
Question about Japanese self-heating baths
Is it cheaper (in terms of gas-usage / energy usage) to run a new bath in the evening or to keep the morning bath heated throughout the day? [more inside]
Explain dishwashers to me
I've never had or even used a dishwasher. Now I'm living in a place that has one. What do I need to know about cleaning it (it really needs a good clean), using it, and getting my dishes clean? [more inside]
Best option for replacing a floor mat in my Honda Accord?
I recently had to throw out the front driver's seat floor mat in my mid-2010s 4-door Honda Accord. I went to the dealership and they offered a replacement set of four floor mats for $255. Obviously that's not happening. I'd rather go without floor mats than pay that exorbitant price.
What are my best options for after-market floor mats? How can I make sure that they'll fit in my car? What's the best place to buy them?
VH1 Behind the Music: not so much
I want to make a picture book for a 6-year-old boy who loves music, but I've got no ideas. Maybe he's a rockstar and then.... um yeah I've got nothing. Can you lovely creative Mefites throw me a few story prompts?
What entrepreneurship programs support domestic violence survivors?
What entrepreneurship programs support domestic violence survivors? [more inside]
Turmeric is stuck in my taste buds! Help me get it out.
I have houseguests. Last night one of them made dinner and put a lot of turmeric in it. So much of it that 24 hours later the taste is still lingering in my mouth. I've brushed my teeth several times. I've used mouthwash. I've drunk lemonade hoping the acidity would help. Nothing is helping and I really really don't like this taste. Am I the only one who has experienced this? Any suggestions? Yeah, I know, it will eventually dissipate.
Help me get footage of mosquitos
I need to get video of mosquitos in flight. I'm particularly interested in ones around 250 cm (8 ft) from the camera so I was going to set the focus there, but even if they're blurred I need to record all of them within the field of vision. I know between little and nothing about cameras or video in general. [more inside]
How Do I Japan? YANMTA
"Travel Agent". How much does 10 days of budget travel for two in Japan cost? [more inside]
What to eat during pregnancy, scientific edition
I am very early in pregnancy and have been taking in a lot information and advice about what foods to eat and not to eat, but there appears to be a huge variance in people's personal risk tolerance as well as in whether they happen to have a more laid back or uptight OB. [more inside]
I think I put myself on a list - How do I stop these calls?
Short version: I dialed the wrong number by mistake and am now being flooded with calls from various 800 numbers tracing back to the same company. How do I make this stop? [more inside]
Moving to Ubud, Bali, and have questions
There are lots of forums devoted to life in Bali, and more specifically to Ubud, but the hive mind has never steered me wrong. And I have questions about moving a family of four to the Ubud area for a minimum of one year starting July 2020. [more inside]
Why can’t I have a relationship too?
After many years of health issues and setbacks, in late 2018 I decided I was ready to meet someone. I joined several dating apps and did my best, but I have only had a few dates (about 5 with three different guys) and only once did I get past the first date, in that case I got three dates and then he didn’t want any more. [more inside]
1995 Nissan D21 Hardbody Rehab
I am rehabilitating a 1995 Nissan D21 Hardbody. One thing it needs is new leaf springs. Some questions ... [more inside]
Help me find a recent article on survey fatigue
About a month ago (plus or minus) I read an article somewhere online about "survey fatigue" - especially regarding the ubiquitous NPS (Net Promoter Survey) that all companies seem to be asking these days. Has anyone seen this article? [more inside]
Is This Worth the Effort?
I recently bought two cameras (one tape and one digital) that each had baby video on them. I am considering posting a notice on FB to try to find the parents of the kids to see if they want the tape/files. [more inside]
Impossible filter: can I dye a pink synthetic upholstery fabric green
I have several yards of synthetic upholstery fabric. It is heavy weight and a dusty rose in color. Ideally I'd like it to be a sage green. Any suggestions? The Rit website suggested adding green would (reasonably enough) create brown but had no suggestions about how to create green.
App that lets you randomly send texts to yourself
Does an app like this exist? I would like to be able to input a bunch of text messages of my own choosing (motivational, reminders to stand up and stretch, etc.) and have them sent to me in a random order on a regular but not strictly scheduled basis (e.g., it would send me one of my messages in every two hour period, but not at the exact same interval). I’m only interested in apps where I get to input the content.
Short show that can distract me this morning?
Do you have any recommendations for a 30-90 minute show I can watch on Netflix (or maybe Youtube) this morning? [more inside]
Cork to Santander Ferry on foot
I would like to take the ferry from Cork, Ireland to Santander, Spain in February on foot. They do not allow passengers without vehicles. Is there a way to do this? A bus that I haven't been able to find or maybe a casual carpool or other way? If I could rent a car and dump it in Santander or Bilboa, I may be interested, but I would prefer not to.
Legal Volunteering for the Laywoman
I'm a 33 year old accountant living in the Washington, DC (NOVA) area, and plan to apply to law school next fall. In the meantime, I'd like to volunteer on Saturdays for a legal organization or with the court. My personal goals are to learn more about attorneys' day-to-day work, to start developing an interest in a specific specialty, and hopefully to wind up with a law school rec letter (maybe even a mentor). Where should I volunteer? [more inside]
Update Calendar Invites in Bulk?
Is is possible to update multiple Outlook calendar invites at once OR create Outlook invites in bulk via a mail merge kind of action? [more inside]
Help me fix my Thinkpad's battery and display issues (please)
I have a Thinkpad T470s, in good condition, running Windows 10. This morning it suddenly started giving trouble: its battery (one of the two batteries is registering but not supplying power) and its display (which suddenly cycles to red and then back, sometimes immediately sometimes not). I am about to leave for a work trip overseas and would like to get it sorted quickly. Any suggestions what I should do to fix it? I am self-employed so I'm my own IT department. [more inside]
How much should I sell a limited-run piece of artistic furniture for?
I've got a limited-edition Wave City coffee table (link/info inside), and a somewhat persistent individual interested in buying it. With my financial situation having gone down the toilet in the years since I got it, it's getting awfully tempting to sell. But for how much? [more inside]
How do actual trans folks feel about cutesy "all-gender restroom" signs?
Trans, non-binary, and genderqueer folks! How do you feel about the cutesy "whatever, just wash your hands" all-gender public restroom signs? The ones that typically feature fanciful creatures such as fairies and satyrs, unicorns and dragons, aliens and mermaids, or robots and (more) aliens? [more inside]
Help me find a vintage baseball cap website
A few months or a year ago I found a website that specialized in selling baseball caps (and I think maybe jerseys as well) that were high quality reproductions of negro league and old minor league teams with cool logos/history. Now I'm having trouble tracking it down... [more inside]
How do I *know* if my block heater actually works?
Well, winter is here and I woke up this morning to a dead car battery. I'm waiting for roadside assistance to come out, but I rarely plug my car in during the winter because I've always been suspicious that my block heater doesn't work. How do I know if it works for sure? [more inside]
Pricing/selling dishes
A friend of mine is looking to price/sell her wedding china. It's an unused 12 place set of Tiffany band china: soup bowl, small plate, dinner plate, sugar bowl and creamer, serving platter, vegetable dish, soup tureen, coffee pot, twelve cups and saucers. (Either she will sell it or her STBX will buy out her half. She currently has an offer that feels lowball, $1200 for the set.) Where in the NYC metro area can she sell this? She also has silver utensils, so both at once would be a bonus.
When did inexpensive holographic stickers become available?
Approximately what year did these stickers popular with children and as packaging highlights first appear?
Quality and affordable leather bag and also shoes
Two part question. Seeking a camel leather convertible backpack that can pass as feminine-ish/androgynous but not super femme, and is big enough to hold an iPad and a few other things. Also seeking the best possible men's shoes for comfort, nonslip and longevity. [more inside]
seeking information about a very old book
Look at this old book.
I know nothing about it. It could be 1,000 years old. It could be a stage prop from 1987. Can you tell me anything about it? Thanks!
Help me find an essay about the Trump administration from last year
I'm trying to find an essay or a magazine article about the Trump administration and the Republican party from at least a year ago and my google-fu is completely failing me. Unfortunately, I don't remember the author or what publication it was in. Two things stood out for me about the essay.
First, it featured a very vivid biological metaphor about some sort of insect or virus that did not just kill its victim, but completely transforms its still-alive host in a particularly cruel way. [more inside]
Is this a browser hijacking? If so, how do I fix it?
No, with no Rhyme or Reason, when I click on a link in Google, a new tab opens trying to sell me something related to the link that I clicked on. [more inside]
In need of Wordpress shopping cart with some special requirements
I'm trying to figure out a solution to handling a contest with variable entry fee for a club I'm involved with using our existing wordpress site. Can you recommend a shopping cart plugin that will do what I need? [more inside]
I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike (where to buy one PA?)
I am looking for tips, suggestions, and recommendations for where to buy a new (road?) bike anywhere within 4 hours of central Pennsylvania. More specificity below the fold. [more inside]
Do you LOVE being a mom?
If you LOVE being a mom (or the default parent if not a mom), can you break down why? Is it something you DO? Is it a way of thinking? Is it an attitude thing? Just your personality?
November 5
Toilet seems to be spitting up, help?
We have a toilet that gets super stinky and accumulates dark flecks on the underside of the seat and lid. Cleaning it temporarily removes the odor and the dark flecks, but they soon return. I believe nobody in the apartment is taking super-messy poops in there. We've cleaned it, gone away, and come back to find it dirty again. But I don't think it's backing up because we're on the fourth floor, the sink and tub drain fine, and we never see anything in the bowl. Help?
want to buy a bamboo or wood flute not made for giants
I have owned a lovely bamboo flute in the key of G for years and years. I'm having a super hard time finding another one. [more inside]
Should I rent a Tesla?
Over Christmas I'll be traveling with my family to a small US vacation town and I have the opportunity rent a Tesla. I'd love to do this - is it practical? [more inside]
Do you remember this funny Coldplay reference?
I need help remembering what this funny Coldplay reference is from. I think a guy had just gotten broken up with and he weepily says “I finally understand Coldplay. We ARE all yellow!” Maybe he was in love instead of dumped. I can’t remember if it was from a movie or a tv show or it could even be from a stand-up routine. Anyone else remember this? I’ve had no luck googling.
Tell me more about 19th century French lit (especially Balzac and Zola)
I'm currently in a Zola and Balzac phase and would love to hear recommendations about books, podcasts, videos, academic articles (I am grad student with access to jstore) about these authors and their novels (and other 19th century authors). Also if there are any books that link the art world with the literary world, share those too.
My reading knowledge of French is low intermediate so English resources are preferred.
Where/how to buy Barbara Sansoni plush toys in the US?
I love the plush toys by Barbara Sansoni! If you ask me they are more fabric works of art than toys. Especially the crocodiles! They are from Sri Lanka and I’ve only seen them in a handicrafts from around the world type store like the one in Seattle. I’m looking for a way I can order several pieces without paying exorbitant shipping fees to ship from the UK or Australia. eBay is a no go. Etsy did not work either. Thank you!
Mounting a keytar
Quieting bass guitar practice
I live in a townhouse, and my neighbor has started playing a bass in the evenings, around 8-11pm for 1-2 hours. I get up early and this isn't working well for me. Musicians, what are some equipment solutions I can suggest beyond quiet hours? [more inside]
Unreasonable moving expectations? (academia edition)
I'm a science grad student (in the USA) in the fourth year of my PhD, in a small lab group of other nearly-completed PhD students. Our advisor decided he wanted to move to a new lab space, and has told us to do everything. I recognize this isn't fair. Can/should I do anything about it? [more inside]
What are these tiny flying, sort of floaty bugs in my living room?
What can they be? In the last couple of months I've been noticing tiny flying bugs in my living room. They're a little floaty rather than flying more directly, like flies or something. They don't bite, but they seem attracted to me. I don't see groups of them sitting on furniture or other surfaces. [more inside]
My friend's kid is ... not great with my kid.
I have a friend with whom I have a great relationship that I really value. We actually met when our kids were infants and they have been playmates for both of their lives. The problem is I don't like the way their son plays with ours. [more inside]
Can You Recommend A Fun Trivia Night in PDX on Tuesdays or Wednesdays?
I'm looking for some fun bar trivia for peeps who are pretty particular about bar trivia. [more inside]
How can my 'cats' self-herd?
My volunteer organization needs a method to log member availability for about fifteen separate events over a ten-month season. [more inside]
Dental pain!
I am having extremely distracting dental pain. Please help me solidify or change my plan. [more inside]
Does motive play into estate planning?
I have a friend in Toronto who owns a rental property. She wants to evict the current "excellent tenant" so that her pregnant granddaughter can move in. Ontario law says that she cannot do that unless it's her daughter, not her granddaughter. As a result, she now wants to change the title to put her daughter as co-owner so that she can then do the eviction. I believe this is unethical. I'm curious if it's unlawful. [more inside]
Popcorn movies where the lead is an emotionally-unavailable mom?
I feel like I've seen this trope a lot in popcorn movies: a mother is grieving something (usually the loss of her husband or another child) and for that reason she's not emotionally available to her kids. Then something threatens the family and by the end she's like, SUPER into her kids. Can you give examples of movies that do this (not TV shows?)
Where can I buy 16 identical hardcover books on the cheap?
I have my mind on an art project and it requires sixteen (16) identical hardcover books. I'd like to spend as little money as possible. [more inside]
Possible for Middle-Aged Men to Not Have "Muffin Tops" Around Waist?
I'm in my 50's and have a very ectomorphy body and have always been skinny. I had a year of gaining some weight (maybe 7 pounds above normal) and now I've lost it but still have those gross bulges protruding over my swimsuit. Is it ever possible for us old people to naturally lose them? [more inside]
Restaurants open Thanksgiving night near Reedsport, OR
Mr. Armeowda and I will be in the Reedsport area on Thanksgiving to visit my aunt. We fly in via Medford (long story) that afternoon. We originally had plans for Aunt to buy groceries in advance, and we’d make dinner together. But after travel dates were locked in, some health stuff came up. She now has surgery scheduled two days before our visit. We want to remove the shop/cook/cleanup burden by picking up dinner. Will anyplace be open? [more inside]
Children's classics. Difficulty level: non-racist
I am looking for some children's classics to listen to in the car with my elementary aged kids. The problem is that so many of the children's classics I remember have some pretty awful content hidden among the delightful English countryside or wherever. Specifically seeking classics and not modern books. [more inside]
Why is Comcast paying me to use their modem?
I have Comcast gigabit internet, and use my own cable modem (which then hooks to my router, etc.)
In evaluating my plan Comcast said they will lower my internet cost by $50 but the catch is...I MUST install and use their modem/router.
Is there any reason I shouldn't do it? [more inside]
Constituent Buy-In Fostering Capitulation to Autocratic Rule
Rising autocrats are usually facilitated by politicians who are caught up in the credo (i.e. believers) and/or at direct material stake (i.e. paid off). Is there much historic precedent for privately disgusted representative leaders falling hostage to constituent buy-in to the populist b.s.?
Burgers in Tulsa
I will be in Tulsa in a couple of weeks for work. I really love hamburgers, and it seems like Tulsa has an awful lot of hamburger restaurants. How do I choose? [more inside]
What does a grown-up do with pins and posters?
I've gotten into a number of podcasts. These podcasts put out merchandise, like pins and posters. I really like these pins and posters! I want them, and I want to support my favorite podcasts! But what does one do with pins and posters? [more inside]
Route audio on Mac differently based on location (or a switch)
I'm producing music, so at home I have a USB-connected audio interface through which I route all of my audio. When I have my laptop on the road, I need my audio switched around so that it comes out of the built-in speakers. I'm tired of having to go into sound options and switch this back and forth every time I plug in. Is there a software / MacOS built-in solution to either be able to detect when the audio interface has been plugged in and switch, or to create a hotkey or something to switch between audio configurations?
Spellcheck for Google Docs?
My son uses Google Docs for all school work (school requires it). The spellcheck function is atrocious! Are we doing something wrong? Is there a solution? [more inside]
Rain + Handheld Shower Recommendations?
Thinking about upgrading the shower in our bathroom & have some interest in a large rain-style showerhead with a handheld accessory for rinsing off soap, etc. Looking for your recommendations/experiences. [more inside]
Help me decide if I should drop a course at grad school
I am enrolled in a master's programme for history, I applied to this particular programme for its focus on a particular region. Now the professor who usually teaches a survey course (that provides a sweeping overview of the region) is a bit of a superstar in his field and he's away this year -- so the course is being taught by a youngish prof who as nice as he is doesn't really know how to lead discussion seminars. [more inside]
Best arguments for and against online anonymity
What are the best-written arguments you've seen both for and against preserving online anonymity? [more inside]
Leafy green salads that stay fresh for several days?
Please share tips, techniques, and favorite recipes for salads that contain leafy greens and will keep in the fridge for more than two days. [more inside]
OCR Bar Code Image Scans
I don't own a bar code scanner. Is there any software or web service that will OCR (or, better, OCR plus look up product info for) image files of bar codes? My usual solution for quickie OCR needs, Picatext (Mac only), isn't quite right for this task.
Hit me with your best Egyptian pun
I need a punny name for a group of women that is somehow tied to ancient Egypt. Something along the lines of "Midlife Isis" or "Scrolling in the Deep" (those are not awesome examples, hence why I'm asking this question). This is related to Mardi Gras, but nothing profane or too sexual. Pop-culture, drinking, song references, etc. are ok. Help!
Please, please help me stop the dating madness
I am by nature an anxious overthinker. Add to this the fact that I'm now back in the dating pool, 35, female and wanting to find the man that I settle down and have babies with and I am reaching what I think is the zenith of an extremely unhealthy pattern of not being able to see the wood for the trees and stressing myself out needlessly. Please help. [more inside]
Do you bike all winter? What do you wear coat-wise?
I have biked all winter for years and years and I still don't have a satisfactory biking coat situation. What works for you? [more inside]
Itching at night
Last night I couldn't fall asleep for ages bc I kept having itchy spots all over. Does anyone know a remedy? [more inside]
Backing Up MacBook Air to external hard drive... How?
I would like to back up my new MacBook Air to an external hard drive, but have no idea how to configure this... [more inside]
Acidosis in ER - Is it Reversible?
IKYNMD - and here is the back story. I've been sick with a few issues - with many symptoms for at least 6 years. Only recently (last 3 months) it's been confirmed that due to high calcium and PTH that I'm basically dealing with a parathyroid issue. [more inside]
Challenging non-technical mountains?
I'm looking for the most difficult mountain/terrain I can hike up/across, on a hobbyist budget and without technical/mountaineering experience. [more inside]
How to get a partner to be less messy/less defensive about that fact
My partner tends to dump anything they are holding or using onto the nearest flat surface and leave it there, this drives me crazy. There's no rhyme or reason to it, just whatever is convenient. When I confront them about this they tend to get defensive and turn the conversation into how I also am messy and therefore it's no ones fault. How do I defuse their attempt to redirect the conversation to my failings and get them to actually engage and improve. Further details below the fold. [more inside]
Seeking honeymoon advice — great views a must, location less critical!
Where have you stayed that's peaceful, breathtaking, and relatively affordable in the US/southern Canada? [more inside]
Ordering a custom wood brand... advice/testimonials needed.
Where and how should I order a custom wood brand? [more inside]
How to disable Edge browser?
I now have a Win10 Home laptop. The built-in Edge browser loads automatically, and interferes with some other programs. I want to disable it, since I'm not using it, but MS doesn't want me to. [more inside]
music to fight bandits to
I have a weekly boardgame night that's pretty recently turned into Gloomhaven Night. I'm looking for recommendations for background music and ambient sounds to go with our sessions. [more inside]
Batshit & Crazy Trap
Is there a way to trap a bat without actually seeing a bat? [more inside]
A Star Trek-referencing short story about hot beverages and probability
I'm trying to find a short story for a friend. It's about a hacked hot-beverages machine in a research facility, and one line references Picard's famous order, "Tea, Earl Grey, hot." More details inside. [more inside]
November 4
Direct links to the transcripts
Where can I directly download the transcripts of the impeachment witness testimony in the House? Scribd demands I log in and the other couple places I saw had embedded document windows on their web pages, no way to download them to read on my own time. [more inside]
What should I do on a long weekend in Dhaka?
I'm in Bangladesh for work, and I find myself facing a long weekend in Dhaka. I could stay in the hotel and work and probably will for part of it, but I'd like to see or do at least something. [more inside]
Feminist Pregnancy Book Needed (Fiction or Essay Anthology Edition)
Friends of AskMe, I find myself with child, after two years of trying and two rounds of IUI fertility treatment. I am having a lot of Thoughts and Feelings, and I yearn for reading about feminist perspectives on the experience of pregnancy, whether it leads to birth or not.
Therefore, I find myself in need of a Feminist Pregnancy Book. [more inside]
Date ideas for NYC and Beyond
One specific and one general question for fun date ideas; let’s go! [more inside]
Where can I get rid of full syringes in the Twin Cities?
I used to take injectable medication and I still have about 20 pre-filled syringes left. I tried to turn them into the DEA on their take back day and they refused. The flyers they gave me are generic and only talk about where to dispose of used needles. I want to get rid of these unused - where? [more inside]
Recommendations on sink and sink accesories.
I am looking for recommendations on devices or ways to make washing dishes not so much of a chore. [more inside]
Help me translate this cup's contents from Japanese
Found these photos on the internet and somebody told me they mention some health tips for life. Can you help me out to translate them? Each photo has a different set of "rules".
Thanks!
Best Layout for Schedule?
I have 12 staff members who are scheduled at any one of 3 locations between 9 am and 11 pm Monday through Friday. What's going to be the clearest, easiest, simplest way to convey this information in poster form? By person? By time? Or by place? Join me as I way overthink this with [more inside]
We're laying off my only team member tomorrow morning . . .
Do I tip this person off? Details below the fold. [more inside]
air purifier with air quality monitoring
i want two air purifiers that filter the bejesus out of two spaces (300 sq ft, 600 sq ft) when the air is sooty or pollen-y or otherwise spare the air day-y. [more inside]
Online source for "office supplies" that aren't pens/paper/staples etc.
I work in a branch office of a company that has a much larger home office fairly nearby. Standard "office supplies" that one could normally get at an office store are supplied by the home office, but me and a couple other coworkers handle procuring other items (snacks, paper towels, tissues, dish soap, medications, etc.) ourselves through a couple different methods. Our branch has grown to a degree that this is becoming unsustainable. What are our options? [more inside]
What kind of doohicky do I need here?
How do I connect this DVD player when the TV is out of HDMI ports? [more inside]
Bail vs waste
I bought concert tickets for myself and a friend, but couldn't go for Reasons. I asked friend if they wanted to take someone else in my place, but they didn't know anyone who could go. [more inside]
Hershey's Cocoa container unopened weight
My dog (Merlin) got into an 8 oz container of Hershey's Special Dark cocoa while I was away this morning. The container currently weighs more than the advertised weight (226 grams) - it's weighing out to 259 grams. But there was definitely some on the floor and I assume he consumed some so I assume some of that weight is packaging. Does anyone have an unopened container they can weigh for me so I can do a worst case scenario math?
How often should I clean my rice cooker?
How often should I clean my rice cooker? I have a fancy fuzzy-logic rice cooker with a delicate non-stick inner pot. I use the rice cooker everyday. Assume I know what the *best practice* of cleaning the inner pot of the rice cooker, i.e. every day with a warm water and a soft sponge. Looking for good-enough answers that considers the capacities of tired worn-out parents with young children and full-time jobs. [more inside]
Identify This Tree
Javascript soundboard
I'm coding a soundboard using HTML5 audio elements triggered by a Javascript onClick. What are the little tricks that an experienced coder would use to make this work as well as possible? [more inside]
A seedy query
Does anyone know what these seeds are called? [more inside]
Materials: Term Used to Describe a Characteristic of Rubber?
My searches have not yielded a good result. Does anyone know the term used to describe the clinginess or stickiness or perhaps grippiness of rubber or rubber-like materials? Examples of products that exhibit of lot of clinginess are those rubber pads for car dashboards that cling to cell phones or adhesive rubber dots used to keep artwork straight on walls, etc. [more inside]
How do I make a magic "turn out the lights" button?
All Mrs. True wants for Christmas is for everyone in the family to TURN OUT THE BATHROOM LIGHTS when they aren't using them. I'd like to come up with a magic button to make this happen, from anywhere in the house. Help me make her dreams come true! [more inside]
Why were people running the NYC Marathon with pineapples on their heads?
I watched about an hour of the NYC Marathon yesterday to cheer on some friends as they ran through my neighborhood. I noticed that there were many runners who ran with stuffed pineapples strapped to the top of their heads or their foreheads. They were not running as a team. What's up with this? [more inside]
Value of Kennedy School Public Leadership Credential?
I'm giving thought to this qualification, and I'm interested in soliciting opinions as to its value (or lack of it). Snowflakes below the fold. [more inside]
I'm Good At And Enjoy Low Code Workflow Building - What Else Could I Do?
My current job is building SharePoint business workflows - e.g. approval workflows - in Nintex (example) and MS Flow (example), mostly for the Audit and Compliance teams. I'm successful at this because I'm good at understanding and mapping out customer requirements, building low risk/ stable/ adaptable workflows, and testing rigorously. I'd like to find a new job which utilizes these skills and would also allow me to broaden my experience (vs just re-doing what I do now). What other types of opportunity could I be looking for/ what other keywords could I be searching for on Indeed?
Do you have insights on my oldster cat?
I have a 17 year old cat and his behavior has changed significantly in the last year or so - can you tell me why, and if there's anything to be done? [more inside]
flowers! plants! New Orleans!
What flowers and plants are in New Orleans? [more inside]
Key West and Cozumel day activities with 11 year old
We will be cruising with day stops at Port of Key West and Port of Cozumel in late December. We would like to go snorkeling, interact with dolphins, caving, and eating. Any suggestions? [more inside]
Help me find earplug cases in bulk
I'm looking for small clear boxes I can buy in bulk and use to hold earplugs, similar to these. Help? [more inside]
Adjusting crock pot timing for super long cook times
Most of our Crock-Pot recipes call for cooking on low for 6 to 8 hours. But thanks to our work schedules we usually put the food in 12 hours before we take it out, so the Crock-Pot stays on warm for an extra 4 to 6 hours before we get home and eat. This means everything gets a little dried out, no matter how liquidy. Can we adjust the cook time down if we know it's going to sit on warm for hours? How many hours on warm = 1 hour on low?
November 3
The RealReal for Real?
How does The RealReal get away with taking such a big cut of consignment sales? [more inside]
Help me see please!
I’m a new, wearer of glasses. I love them but I’m having an issue. I haven’t been “oily/greasy” for the past 20+ years but my new glasses beg to differ. I cannot keep them clean and every little smudge drives me nuts! Give me your best tips on keeping my new specs sparkling clean. [more inside]
Planless in Seattle
What should I do with a possibly rainy Saturday in Seattle next weekend? [more inside]
Moving Company Lost and Damaged Items
When I moved earlier this year, the moving company lost and damaged many of my things as signed and acknowledge on the BoL by the delivery representative. Based on the $0.60 per lb. valuation, I am owed several thousand dollars. They currently offered $86. Is there any law or regulation I should site or use to ensure I am properly covered. [more inside]
Extreme controller/negotiator types who need to work together as peers.
I am quite happy with my new job. My only issue is with one of my peers. He's very very good at what he does and I think we tend to respect each others' opinion. However, our style as to the how is incredibly different and a source of friction. Any advice? Particularly love to hear from folks more like him. [more inside]
Hungry in San Francisco
Please recommend a San Francisco restaurant for an indulgent weekday lunch in mid-December for a dozen or so people. If they have a private room, that's a bonus. [more inside]
Mascara that's more like lash dye
I don't need my lashes to be thicker or longer. I just need them to be dark all the way to the tip, and have a natural shine. Is there a mascara that will do this? *bonus question* I would also like to find a powder-based eyeliner, the kind of thing you sort of tap into your lash line to make a soft line. I guess I can do this with any dark eyeshadow but I wonder if there's one you particularly recommend.
Wedding present for my boss?
I work at a small company (we are only 7 people, including the owner). The owner, my boss, is getting married this weekend and I am invited. It is supposedly a very small wedding, in the neighborhood of 30 guests. [more inside]
French drains, yard drainage
We want someone to inspect our French drains, and also give us an opinion on whether an area of our yard could be paved or needs to stay gravel for drainage. [more inside]
Do you have transcription tips?
I need to transcribe 15 to 20 hours of interviews. Someone recommended Express Scribe software and the foot pedal, but I see that it gets pretty mixed reviews.
Do you have any tips for transcribing efficiently? What has worked for you? I have a Mac, and I'm recording my interviews both on my iPhone and also with an Olympus recorder. I've found AI transcription software to be useless. And for various reasons, I'm not keen on paying someone else to do it.
Name that band!
This is a band I remember listening to about a year ago. They were two brothers who grew up in Florida. [more inside]
Social work: Careers in schools or hospital/healthcare settings?
I’m interested in going to graduate school to earn a MSW. What’s it like to be a school social worker or a social worker in a hospital/healthcare setting? What is the demand/competition like for these jobs? [more inside]
What do you get when you cross an editor with a therapist?
I'm an editor of (among other things) personal essays, and people who work with me have compared the process to therapy. I love this part of the job—helping people figure out what they really mean and how to express it—but being an editor is intensely precarious right now. I'm kicking around the idea of getting a counseling degree. Is there a middle step I can take instead, or while that's in process? [more inside]
Making best use of an unused ticket
We both have an upcoming (return) flight scheduled. We both flew out but only one of us is flying back. She can make it. I can't. The flight is non-refundable, non-changable. How can she best make use of my empty seat? [more inside]
Vegetarian dinner ideas for large groups, with some extra constraints
I need vegetarian main course ideas for a recurring group dinner of 15-30 people! For the sake of my sanity, the meals should be:
- Possible to prepare for a large group in ~3 hours. I'm still learning this skill, so general advice here is appreciated as well!
- Ready to serve to everyone all at once. For instance, pizza is not ideal, because by the time the 6th pizza is ready, the 1st pizza is already cold.
A southwestern desert hiking experience I can have without a car...?
I would like to have a peaceful soul-cleansing desert hiking experience somewhere in the American southwest during the first 10 days of December. I would be flying in from New York and without a car. Does any particular destination come to mind for this? [more inside]
And all the horrible no good very bad EVERYTHING
Someone I love very much and spend a lot of time with is EXTREMELY negative and pessimistic. I am a pretty positive person and having a running narrative about how bad things are is very difficult to deal with and manage. Have you dealt with someone like this before? What kind of stratagies might I try? [more inside]
Help My Fridge to Keep Its Cool
My refrigerator began to run loudly a few days ago. Should I try to fix this, and if so, how? [more inside]
How much energy was expended when my stove blew up?
One of the burners on our electric stove blew up (will explain further). I am curious to know certain estimates, like: how hot it may have been, the amount of TNT it was equivalent to, and the amount of UV and IR radiation that might have been emitted. [more inside]
Help me set up my clock - in Chinese?
I got this new clock from amazon which states: "2 Display mode: it can have a fixed display with time, humidity and temperature or it can alternatively switch between time, date, humidity and temperature in turn."
Mine keeps switching from time to date, but I want it to stay just on the fixed display with time. I can't find any way to do change this in the English version of the instructions (I can only read English), nor in any google results. Perhaps there is something more in the Chinese version? Can anyone read this and see a way??
A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit CBGB's
How can I bring more of a feel of a "country life" into living in a city, WITHOUT moving? [more inside]
Password manager images workflow?
My dad has five sheets of physical paper filled with account information and passwords. I'd like to backup this information by taking pictures and storing those images in a password manager, rather than typing everything out, now, and verifying that I got everything correct. But, I don't want the images to end up in iCloud or something. And I don't know which password managers support image storage, anyway. [more inside]
Marriage Counselling with Abusive Partner?
I am told that couples counselling is not recommended for situations with an abusive partner. Why is this, and what is recommended instead?
Emotional needs in relationships
When I’m in relationships, I have a bunch of emotional needs, things that make me feel loved —and if these aren’t met, I’m absolutely miserable and the frustration builds up . [more inside]
Being asked at the beginning of an interview if you have any questions
I've been asked at the beginning of interviews if I have any questions. Google doesn't really turn up anything, and I have an interview in a couple of days for a very competitive job, so no room for error. Is there a decorum for this, because in every case I've asked to defer to the end and not gotten the job. Thanks.
November 2
Buying essential oil samples in Portland OR?
Hi! I'm going to try my hand at candle making for loved ones for Christmas. Is there a place in Portland where I can buy tiny samples of essential oils? I don't really want to buy full bottles because if I hate making candles then I will have wasted a bunch of money. Thanks!
AirBnB Alternatives for Hosting
Say that a person was convinced to switch away from AirBnB. What alternatives are there for people with a room to rent out? [more inside]
Comparing vet costs: feline tooth extraction edition
The vet says partner's cat needs some kitty dental surgery. What's an average price range for this? Relevant details inside. [more inside]
Do you have tiny wonders? I need 20 of them.
Help me fill 20 4x4x4 boxes with wonderful little things! [more inside]
Web browser with "tabs" in 2001
I've been trying to remember the name of a web browser I used in 2001 or 2002. It may have been very niche, as I can't find it on the Wikipedia pages. Details inside. [more inside]
What's the best single serving blender?
After 10 years, it's time to replace our old Magic Bullet. What's the best single-serving blender? Wirecutter says the Nutribullet, but other reviews--including comments on that article--are less positive.
This will be used almost exclusively for making smoothies, or the occasional dressing/sauce. But 99% of the time, smoothies, involving frozen fruit and the other usual suspects. A quieter option is a big plus, but I realize that's challenging.
You can please some of people... Kitchener, ON edition
Is there a restaurant anywhere close to The Centre in the Square that can accommodate both vegan and keto diets? What's good for one is bad for the other, so a pure vegan place is out, but I'm not seeing a lot of vegan dishes at regular restaurants. This is for a celebration, so a little spendy is okay, but time will be a factor, so nowhere that'll take over an hour and a half. So far our only option is TWH Social, which has one vegan selection.
Gmail spam instant messages problem
I'm getting spam pop up messages on my gmail account trying to lure me into clicking on a porn site. How do I block these?
MAC dupe
does anyone have a good dupe for MAC studio fix powder foundation? i have had NO luck replacing it!
My life feels stuck and I don’t know how to move forward
What can I do to help myself feel better about my life and about feeling stuck, when it seems like almost everyone around is in a different life stage/situation? [more inside]
Travelling from UK to Guernsey but don't have photo ID. Are we stuck?
On Monday I am flying with a friend to Guernsey from Southampton on Aurigny Air. After I got the boarding passes, my friend told me they don't have any photo ID, which the airline apparently requires. [more inside]
Fantasy books to read with my niece
My teenage niece and I both enjoy fantasy books. We would like to find new titles to read together. We enjoy magic worlds but do not like excessive violence or dystopia and we do not care for love stories. [more inside]
Short term health insurance in MA
So I find myself without health insurance in MA. Long story, but my existing insurance dropped me for non-payment as I am in a shitty financial position. What to do now? [more inside]
Where to Find Pork Cheek Near Highland Park (Los Angeles)
My friend is looking for a grocer or butcher shop that sells pork cheek near the Highland Park area of Los Angeles. [more inside]
Helping My Mother Not Terrify Racialized People With Kids
My mother, a middle-class elderly White lady, is magnetically drawn to children of other ethnicities. More than once, I've seen that this attraction make parents and children feel really uncomfortable. I'd like to see her stop approaching strangers and attempting to touch their kids. [more inside]
Resources To Help With Interior Design
I appreciate design, but I am awful at it. I know what I like from a visual standpoint, but I never seem to be able to achieve it. Short of hiring an interior decorator, what resources are there? [more inside]
What game/toy do you play with your older cat boy/lady?
I have a 13-year old male cat at home. When he was younger, his favorite game is to play "catch ball" with me throwing out a paper ball that I crumple a small sheet of paper into small and tight that rolls and bounces fast. [more inside]
Best computer for an 8 year old?
My daughter is turning 8 soon. She wants “something with a keyboard”. There are so many options out there with different pluses and minuses, I’d love to hear what your kids are using and how it’s working out or any other advice. [more inside]
What stew should I make?
I would like to make a robust stew to eat over the course of the week. I have almost no fresh stew ingredients in my home so I will be buying everything other than pasta, dry beans and spices. What should I make? [more inside]
What Am I Trying to Wash Off My Lettuce, Exactly?
Okay, so we're supposed to wash lettuce. What am I trying to wash off? How long? Am I supposed to use soap? (Yuck.) What am I doing to myself if I just do a quick rinse under the faucet?
Speak up!
I listen to music streaming from a classical radio station on my android smartphone. I'd like to hear it through better speakers. I listen through the phone in only one room in my house, so portability is not necessary. What are my options? Under $100, if possible.
November 1
Help me feel the bass
I remember loving the "feel" of loud music when I was younger - the sheer force of a loud soundsystem playing great music, thumping in my chest with every beat. I'd like to experience this again now, but anxiety precludes me from experiencing this through any of the venues I'd traditionally expect to (clubs, shows, etc). Help me find an alternative way to experience this again. [more inside]
Help me talk constructively about kink
I want to include my kinkiness in my next serious romantic relationship, but I don't know how to articulate my desires. When past partners have asked me to be more specific about my needs, I've been at a loss to explain well, and there's been a lot of trial-and-error and "I dunno how to describe it, but I know it when I see it". [more inside]
What food seasons are there in San Francisco?
What food seasons are there in the San Francisco Bay Area? For example, Alaskan king salmon season ended a few weeks ago, and I just read that Dungeness crab season starts this month. What else can we look forward to at only specific times of the year? Food in particular, but non-food would be interesting, too.
First-hand recommendations for a budget wristwatch with vibration alarm?
Interested in getting a watch with a vibration alarm, for when I can't use my phone alarm, or when I want to have a backup in addition to my phone alarm. I don't expect it to wake me from a deep sleep, but I'm hoping it'll be noticeable enough if I'm taking a catnap, or working in the yard or on something temporarily where it'd be inconvenient to use my phone. I know Casio and Timex make relevant watches - suggestions for specific models under or around $50? Any others to be aware of? [more inside]
What remote work programs pay you to move to their city or country?
I just saw a program that pays you to work remotely from Tulsa (LINK). It's interesting and I'm thinking about applying. But I was wondering if there are any others anywhere else in the world. I know there are other programs you pay to be a part of but are there any others like this that pay YOU?
Minivan Sliding Door Freezing Shut
With the return of snow (!!!), my minivan's sliding doors immediately froze shut, which is a problem since the whole point of the thing is that it's a kid-hauler. This happened near the end of last winter, too, but winter was over before I got around to dealing with it. How do I fix this problem? [more inside]
Three couples; brunch; is this weird?
I want to hang out again with neighbors that I met at another neighbor's birthday brunch. I am not especially skilled at making new friends, and I'm asking you to be my external brain because I'm not sure what's appropriate here. [more inside]
Master document-style collaborative tools?
Word won't allow me to point at a subfolder of documents and automagically build a master document from them, instead requiring me to click through an awkward user interface for each subdocument. Is there a more-automated way of building a master document? I am not tied to Word. Google Docs, weirdly, does not support master-document style source embedding. [more inside]
I want to make my home audio system wireless
1. It's about 40 years old. I have a Luxman receiver, a Luxman turntable, a pair of Advent on-the-floor speakers (13x22 in.), and a Sony CD changer (10 yrs. old). What do I need to do to make the system wireless? [more inside]
Does multi-tabbed text editing software exist?
So, I'm always juggling a few projects at a time, and I really like using plaintext or close to it for project files. I love how Excel and its clones have tabs that let you have multiple sheets at once in a single document - is there anything like that for plaintext? Preferably free and low-feature? [more inside]
Places to think in Portland, OR
Random 3-4 day roadtrip to Portland because I need time and space to think about things, please share your best deep thought spots. [more inside]
Do I need to buy new RF outlets?
I have two sets of lamps in my apartment hooked up to two different wireless radio frequency remote control outlets, controlled by two separate remotes. They've worked great for 4 years. A couple weeks ago, both of the remotes stopped activating their outlet unless they were ~3 feet away. I changed the remote batteries and it didn't help. What gives?
Salt Lake City sights and events, after hours edition
I'm visiting Salt Lake City, Utah, next week, but I'm there for work, and I won't have a car, so I expect that the fun things listed previously aren't an option (though there are restaurant recommendations there). [more inside]
Printing question - sets of stickers associated with form
I need 1000 sets of 10 stickers. Each set of 10 are identical to each other; each set is different from all the rest. Each set is associated with a regular size piece of paper (printed questionnaire). [more inside]
Rec me some good RSS feeds
I'm looking for RSS feeds to read on long train rides to and from work - so the most important aspect is that they load full articles, not snippets. I wouldn't quite say "I'm open to any kind of content," but I have a broad range of interests, and over two hours every weekday morning and evening on trains and buses. [more inside]
How to transport a small heavy side table from long island to ca
I bought a small side table on ebay. It is quite small but heavy- at least 60lbs. I'm trying to figure out how to get it shipped to California. The seller doesn't want to take it to greyhound or ups for me and I dont know anyone in Long Island. Help/advice? [more inside]
Live theatre productions on YouTube?
Can you point me to great videos of live theatre online? [more inside]
Deep Cleaning Stains Out of Carpet
My dog has had many accidents and smeared a lot of food on my cream, wall-to-wall carpet. I am renting a big carpet cleaner from the hardware store tomorrow. How do I make sure that it gets the stains out? [more inside]
How to Run Effective Meetings?
What are your best recommendations for resources on making meetings effective, useful, and dare I suggest it, enjoyable? [more inside]
ISO Stocking Stuffers: USB edition
My daughter has a USB hub on her nightstand for her IKEA reading light. We also got her a small USB fan. She has two USB slots left! I would love recommendations for other cute/useful kid-friendly USB-powered gadgets.
How/where do you find community?
I know there are lots of AskMeFi questions about making friends as an adult (I think I've even asked one of them), but I don't think I've seen anyone ask about finding community. I've realized that part of the emptiness in my life is lack of community, but I'm not sure where to find it. More inside. [more inside]
Sioux City!
AskMe, you were so helpful when I went to Oshkosh, WI a few years ago. Now, same question, different city. I'm taking a business trip to Sioux City, IA in about a month and will probably have a few hours of spare time here and there. How should I spend it? [more inside]
Wholesome, bite-sized Twitter substitute..._
I'm on a social media break! (I know...) I would quite like to put something in place of Twitter and Facebook on my phone to fill those little 5 minute gaps that is wholesome, good for me, educational, maybe even mood-boosting etc. [more inside]
Need allergy card translation in European Portuguese, please
Unexpected trip to Lisbon and I need to have the following to present at restaurants:
Allergy Alert
I cannot eat any food which contains:
Fish
Sesame
Lentils
Peanuts
Any kind of nut
I would be very grateful for help with this, especially that last phrase. Thank you so much!
How soon, time-wise, after taking Valtrex is it MORE safe to have sex?
So I'm trying to be more responsible in having sex with my genital HSV1. I've never had an outbreak (as far as I know) but, based on a recent bad incident, I now know I DO shed. So...responsibility. I've just been prescribed some Valtrex. Unfortunately it seems like they only gave me two weeks of it. So two questions related 1) how soon after taking it is there a preventative effect? One day? Two days? And 2) is it as effective to just take it a day or two before having sex and while having sex instead of every day?
Tips on interviewing a prospective boss?
I am a software engineer working on a team without a manager. I'm going to be part of the interviewing process for my new boss. I have worked for bad bosses before and want to make every effort to not work for one again. So, askme, do you have any tips for how to interview candidates who may become your direct superior? [more inside]