how to feel better physically after crying
March 22, 2022 2:59 PM Subscribe
Many people say crying makes them feel better, but for me (whether the emotional release felt good or not) my (upper) head always feels stuffy, congested and heavy afterwards, which is physically unpleasant. Is there anything I can do to feel better other than maybe using a cold compress or taking a shower?
Hot salsa will open up those sinuses. Tortilla chips and salsa will scrape the muck out of your throat.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 3:31 PM on March 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 3:31 PM on March 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
I love to have a good cry but feeling stuffed up makes me panicky. I keep a bottle of Afrin around so I don’t have to be afraid of crying.
posted by HotToddy at 3:31 PM on March 22, 2022
posted by HotToddy at 3:31 PM on March 22, 2022
Hot mint tea or a good sniff of some peppermint essential oils. I find mint much more soothing and less harsh on the sinuses than something like eucalyptus, plus it's generally physically calming as a tea.
posted by fight or flight at 3:34 PM on March 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by fight or flight at 3:34 PM on March 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
I'll be curious what people say, but I'm with you, I always feel awful after crying. Sometimes emotionally it can feel good if it's been a sadness I've been holding in - especially if I end up crying in front of a trusted person - but physically I always feel bad.
All that said, splashing some cold water in my face tends to at least help with redness/heat, should you also find your face gets hot in the process.
posted by coffeecat at 3:34 PM on March 22, 2022 [7 favorites]
All that said, splashing some cold water in my face tends to at least help with redness/heat, should you also find your face gets hot in the process.
posted by coffeecat at 3:34 PM on March 22, 2022 [7 favorites]
It's commonplace but I have read that a few splashes of very cold water (and probably a big glass of it) cause a kind of soft reset of body functions that get out of whack during a good cry. A shock to the system like jumping in a cold lake - makes the body seek homeostasis.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 3:40 PM on March 22, 2022
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 3:40 PM on March 22, 2022
Same thing as when you throw up- brush teeth, wash face, drink some water, take some appropriate over-the-counter medicine, hydrate, get comfortable.
posted by bleep at 3:52 PM on March 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by bleep at 3:52 PM on March 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
Tea is a classic for this reason. I avoid milky drinks though because it contributes to stuffiness and gunk, so no hot chocolate or similar. But a cup of green tea, which is steeped briefly and at a lower temperature than black tea, can be perfect for holding and taking sips of.
There is also something about having things of two different temperatures on the body, like holding a warm mug while pressing something cold to the back of my neck, or taking a hot bath while drinking a glass of ice water, that really helps me feel recalibrated. Don’t know why. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be simultaneous, like for example I’ve felt better after standing in the bracing wind on a ferry and then going inside to have hot soup. Sometimes it can be really simple, like eating a popsicle while sitting in the hot sun. A heating pad on my shoulders while I dry off after a shower under a fan.
I think drinking something is important for a few reasons. Drinking and eating are actions that help guide anxiety responses to a calmer state, because instinctively if we are eating we are in a safe enough space to do so, and our bodies make lots of chemicals that are all connected to this feeling. It’s like a self fulfilling sort of chicken and egg thing. Am I salivating because I’m no longer shocked and hyperventilating or am I salivating because I’m chewing this gum? Who cares! But as mentioned above, it’s also important to rehydrate after crying. The physical processes of crying mean that a lot of parts of us that aren’t regularly utilized in that fashion have been recently stressed and need a refuel, so to speak. Lots of tiny muscles spasm and stretch, glands express things, etc. If you think of it as a sudden workout, you might have better success recovering from it.
posted by Mizu at 3:54 PM on March 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
There is also something about having things of two different temperatures on the body, like holding a warm mug while pressing something cold to the back of my neck, or taking a hot bath while drinking a glass of ice water, that really helps me feel recalibrated. Don’t know why. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be simultaneous, like for example I’ve felt better after standing in the bracing wind on a ferry and then going inside to have hot soup. Sometimes it can be really simple, like eating a popsicle while sitting in the hot sun. A heating pad on my shoulders while I dry off after a shower under a fan.
I think drinking something is important for a few reasons. Drinking and eating are actions that help guide anxiety responses to a calmer state, because instinctively if we are eating we are in a safe enough space to do so, and our bodies make lots of chemicals that are all connected to this feeling. It’s like a self fulfilling sort of chicken and egg thing. Am I salivating because I’m no longer shocked and hyperventilating or am I salivating because I’m chewing this gum? Who cares! But as mentioned above, it’s also important to rehydrate after crying. The physical processes of crying mean that a lot of parts of us that aren’t regularly utilized in that fashion have been recently stressed and need a refuel, so to speak. Lots of tiny muscles spasm and stretch, glands express things, etc. If you think of it as a sudden workout, you might have better success recovering from it.
posted by Mizu at 3:54 PM on March 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
Don't just splash a bit of cold water, actually trigger the Mammalian Dive Reflex. I use it to stop panic attacks, and it basically forces your system to settle the hell down and focus all resources on the fact that you have apparently just fallen through the ice as you hunt and gather.
I can't always do a full 30-second plunge while I'm still in the full throes of the panic attack, but the key part of the process is try to hold your breath and dunk or splash your face for as much of that as you can. It takes me usually 3 mini-rounds of about 10 seconds (I keep splashing through the whole process, but only hold my breath that long at one time) before I feel a sudden significant change in my physical state, and at that point I can usually wrap up with one more 20ish-second round. And where I used to have panic attacks that ran about 45 minutes at full intensity and then another 45 ramp-down and then I had to sleep for 2-4 hours to recover, I can stagger to the sink in the first 10 minutes and 10 minutes later (after changing my wet clothes because all I can do is splash furiously) I can sit back down at my desk and work and have conversations.
When your body goes into cold water mode, it will generally open your airways as much as it can, and you should find the congestion retreats pretty quickly.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:21 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
I can't always do a full 30-second plunge while I'm still in the full throes of the panic attack, but the key part of the process is try to hold your breath and dunk or splash your face for as much of that as you can. It takes me usually 3 mini-rounds of about 10 seconds (I keep splashing through the whole process, but only hold my breath that long at one time) before I feel a sudden significant change in my physical state, and at that point I can usually wrap up with one more 20ish-second round. And where I used to have panic attacks that ran about 45 minutes at full intensity and then another 45 ramp-down and then I had to sleep for 2-4 hours to recover, I can stagger to the sink in the first 10 minutes and 10 minutes later (after changing my wet clothes because all I can do is splash furiously) I can sit back down at my desk and work and have conversations.
When your body goes into cold water mode, it will generally open your airways as much as it can, and you should find the congestion retreats pretty quickly.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:21 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
Something I've noticed is that if I try to stop myself from crying, which is my MO, I'll often feel awful (headache-y and congested). But if I can just let myself have a good cry and get it over with, sometimes I don't feel so bad after.
posted by geegollygosh at 4:23 PM on March 22, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by geegollygosh at 4:23 PM on March 22, 2022 [5 favorites]
One time I cried while drinking broth (lol) and that seemed to help even more than water. I figured I was replenishing saline and breaking up congestion.
posted by kapers at 5:09 PM on March 22, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by kapers at 5:09 PM on March 22, 2022 [5 favorites]
Someone pointed out to me that we tend to hold our breath while we cry. I make it a rule for myself that I can cry as much as I need to but I really have to keep breathing while I do. Definitely helped with the headaches!
posted by metahawk at 5:19 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by metahawk at 5:19 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
I like to use a saline nasal spray to clear out some of the congestion. Also some eye wash since my eyes tend to feel kind of gunky after crying.
I have heard that putting a cold compress over your eyes after crying can help reduce swelling/how puffed up they get.
posted by litera scripta manet at 6:11 PM on March 22, 2022
I have heard that putting a cold compress over your eyes after crying can help reduce swelling/how puffed up they get.
posted by litera scripta manet at 6:11 PM on March 22, 2022
You’re playing my song.
When I get a “cry-graine” — this is a misnomer, obviously it’s my stupid sinuses being stupid as is their stupid wont — I do find that an OTC pain reliever with caffeine (Excedrin Migraine, Midol, Major Pain Reliever) helps. The trick is to down it with plenty of water, including some electrolytes, if possible.
Then I have to do some other basic life-process thing to help me “reset” — a nap, or a meal, or a hot bath, or some exercise, depending on what made me weepy in the first place.
You’re among friends. It’s A Thing™️, for sure.
posted by armeowda at 6:35 PM on March 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
When I get a “cry-graine” — this is a misnomer, obviously it’s my stupid sinuses being stupid as is their stupid wont — I do find that an OTC pain reliever with caffeine (Excedrin Migraine, Midol, Major Pain Reliever) helps. The trick is to down it with plenty of water, including some electrolytes, if possible.
Then I have to do some other basic life-process thing to help me “reset” — a nap, or a meal, or a hot bath, or some exercise, depending on what made me weepy in the first place.
You’re among friends. It’s A Thing™️, for sure.
posted by armeowda at 6:35 PM on March 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
I take an Advil (probably not the best idea given stroke risk and potential GI problems, but it works), plus do cool water on the face. I’m with you, crying sucks.
posted by cotton dress sock at 6:50 PM on March 22, 2022
posted by cotton dress sock at 6:50 PM on March 22, 2022
Take a Sudafed.
posted by DarlingBri at 6:56 PM on March 22, 2022
posted by DarlingBri at 6:56 PM on March 22, 2022
A few years ago, I asked a question about how to deal with puffy eyes the day after a big cry. The advice that I got that worked was to try some exercise.
I think the same might work for you. Try doing a few jumping jacks or run in place for a bit. Make sure you have some water, and get things circulating through your system.
posted by bluedaisy at 11:03 PM on March 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
I think the same might work for you. Try doing a few jumping jacks or run in place for a bit. Make sure you have some water, and get things circulating through your system.
posted by bluedaisy at 11:03 PM on March 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
To me this very much goes in the same direction as how I feel when sleep deprived or hung over. And I find similar remedies go a long way for all three problems.
So yes to washing your face, cold compress or frozen spoons to reduce swelling, drinking cold water or hot tea and chewing gum/brushing your teeth all seem to help me feel better.
Also, depending on how bad the tension headache is - pain killer of your choice.
posted by koahiatamadl at 2:11 AM on March 23, 2022
So yes to washing your face, cold compress or frozen spoons to reduce swelling, drinking cold water or hot tea and chewing gum/brushing your teeth all seem to help me feel better.
Also, depending on how bad the tension headache is - pain killer of your choice.
posted by koahiatamadl at 2:11 AM on March 23, 2022
For the congestion I take an over-the-counter antihistamine tablet (I keep them around for a skin condition). In my country that's loratadine (cetirizine is also widely available and may be more common where you are). That together with drinking water and rinsing my face usually does the trick.
posted by confluency at 3:34 AM on March 23, 2022
posted by confluency at 3:34 AM on March 23, 2022
Another vote for some nice hot tea, maybe something gingery or peppery to clear out the sinuses. It's also just nice and comforting. Also a bit of witch hazel on the eyes and some moisturiser if you have sore salty cry-face. Ibuprofen if you can take it, helps with headache and puffiness.
posted by BlueNorther at 7:22 AM on March 23, 2022
posted by BlueNorther at 7:22 AM on March 23, 2022
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This doesn't so much address the congestion piece, but I like to keep some soothing facial moisturizer in my desk in case of crying jags, to soothe the skin irritation I feel when I cry.
posted by Jeanne at 3:09 PM on March 22, 2022 [5 favorites]