I want to raise bilingual children - is there hope?
January 12, 2022 5:52 AM Subscribe
Here is my problem in a nutshell: I am a Russian immigrant living in the US and married to a non-Russian-speaker. I work long hours, so during the week, I typically only see my kids in the morning when I get them up and ready for school. (I spend more time with them on weekends.) My older kid just turned four, and speaks no Russian. The baby is almost 15 months old and has started picking up English words. I want them to speak Russian fluently, but I don't know how to make that happen. I am stuck and hoping your advice can help me get unstuck.
The challenge I have is that I am the only Russian speaker in my little household, and I'm only with them for 90-ish minutes a day 5/7 days of the week. If I suddenly declare that I will speak exclusively in Russian (which I've heard is a thing some people do when they want bilingual kids), will that even work given the limited time I have with them? And does that strategy work when the other parent doesn't speak or understand the second language? It will definitely frustrate my older kid (and deprive her of our special story time - I tell her stories about a family of beavers while I braid her hair in the morning), and it will mean that my husband and I kind of can't communicate during the part of the morning when we both overlap. So is it worth creating all this frustration and distance if the result won't even be that anyone learns Russian?
The challenge I have is that I am the only Russian speaker in my little household, and I'm only with them for 90-ish minutes a day 5/7 days of the week. If I suddenly declare that I will speak exclusively in Russian (which I've heard is a thing some people do when they want bilingual kids), will that even work given the limited time I have with them? And does that strategy work when the other parent doesn't speak or understand the second language? It will definitely frustrate my older kid (and deprive her of our special story time - I tell her stories about a family of beavers while I braid her hair in the morning), and it will mean that my husband and I kind of can't communicate during the part of the morning when we both overlap. So is it worth creating all this frustration and distance if the result won't even be that anyone learns Russian?
My housemate grew up in the UK with an English mom and an Italian dad. While his dad didn't speak Italian exclusively or even predominantly in the home, all of his extended relatives spoke no English. Italian was and is his connection to his many aunts, uncles, cousins, and so on. Anything you can do to keep an extended network of communicating friends and family active in your home life would be a helpful step away from feeling like you're the only source of Russian practice. And your husband will probably pick up a bit without even feeling like he's trying, too.
Note, too, that there are an awful lot of possibilities for passive language acquisition (in the form of bilingual cartoons and apps and such). You don't have to be present for kids to get into that, and to share in it with them when you're able to. It's a nice bridge to have content and questions that go hand in hand ("what did Винни Пух do today?").
No one in America gets to young adulthood and resents learning a second language when their brains were young and plastic, especially when it's a connection to their cultural heritage. *No one*. Many people regret the opposite (myself included). It makes me happy to hear that you're thinking about this. Your kids will thank you when they're older!
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 6:11 AM on January 12, 2022 [14 favorites]
Note, too, that there are an awful lot of possibilities for passive language acquisition (in the form of bilingual cartoons and apps and such). You don't have to be present for kids to get into that, and to share in it with them when you're able to. It's a nice bridge to have content and questions that go hand in hand ("what did Винни Пух do today?").
No one in America gets to young adulthood and resents learning a second language when their brains were young and plastic, especially when it's a connection to their cultural heritage. *No one*. Many people regret the opposite (myself included). It makes me happy to hear that you're thinking about this. Your kids will thank you when they're older!
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 6:11 AM on January 12, 2022 [14 favorites]
To the point above about cartoons, it appears that the ever popular Bluey is on YouTube in Russian -- it's a dub. I'm sure it's probably pirated from Disney Channel Russia but it might appeal.
posted by Medieval Maven at 6:20 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Medieval Maven at 6:20 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]
Hi, don't give up! My situation is quite different from yours since my parents do not speak English so the home language is Asian Language. I later learned English when I started school. Although I spoke Asian Language at home and attended classes as a child, I did not take it seriously at all. However, with the basic foundation I had as a child, I was able to relearn and improve it as an adult.
That said, here are my concrete suggestions:
1) speak Russian exclusively to them as suggested. Every little bit counts towards laying down the neural foundation. I just read a study that shows the brains of transnational adopted kids responded to their native language even though they have forgotten it. You will need your spouse's cooperation but it can't be helped. Maybe your spouse could learn some Russian along with the kids? Gift him with Russian classes? There are apps and other options nowadays.
2)Are there any other Russian speakers/community where you are? You should definitely try to make friends and see if you can find playgroups and look into community classes/activities.
3) Expose them to kid-appropriate media in the language like kid's songs , cartoons (Cheburashka?), stories etc. I'm sure you can find stuff like this online. My parents read and watch news in Asian Language and if you have this constantly playing in the background, it will help.
4) See what your kids are interested in and brainstorm ways for them to do it in Russian, e.g. you could make traditional Russian recipes with them.
5) Bring them to Russia for holidays so they can get to know the country! I don't know if you still have family back home but if you do, you can arrange FaceTime meetings in Russian or something.
Note: Do not worry about their English. They will pick it up easily from the environment. My Asian Language started deteriorating when I started school so you must emphasize Russian instead. It will be an uphill battle but it will be worth it.
Good luck! Russian is such an interesting culture/language, I think it would be such a pity to lose touch with it.
posted by whitelotus at 6:52 AM on January 12, 2022 [5 favorites]
That said, here are my concrete suggestions:
1) speak Russian exclusively to them as suggested. Every little bit counts towards laying down the neural foundation. I just read a study that shows the brains of transnational adopted kids responded to their native language even though they have forgotten it. You will need your spouse's cooperation but it can't be helped. Maybe your spouse could learn some Russian along with the kids? Gift him with Russian classes? There are apps and other options nowadays.
2)Are there any other Russian speakers/community where you are? You should definitely try to make friends and see if you can find playgroups and look into community classes/activities.
3) Expose them to kid-appropriate media in the language like kid's songs , cartoons (Cheburashka?), stories etc. I'm sure you can find stuff like this online. My parents read and watch news in Asian Language and if you have this constantly playing in the background, it will help.
4) See what your kids are interested in and brainstorm ways for them to do it in Russian, e.g. you could make traditional Russian recipes with them.
5) Bring them to Russia for holidays so they can get to know the country! I don't know if you still have family back home but if you do, you can arrange FaceTime meetings in Russian or something.
Note: Do not worry about their English. They will pick it up easily from the environment. My Asian Language started deteriorating when I started school so you must emphasize Russian instead. It will be an uphill battle but it will be worth it.
Good luck! Russian is such an interesting culture/language, I think it would be such a pity to lose touch with it.
posted by whitelotus at 6:52 AM on January 12, 2022 [5 favorites]
I have two kids, am a non-Russian speaker married to a Russian speaker. Our oldest is 4.5 and the younger one is 1.5. My husband was determined that they speak Russian and I'm happy to say that for our older one he has definitely succeeded - he is completely bilingual in Russian and English. That said, it did involve quite a lot of work from my husband. The main thing is that he is completely consistent. He never speaks to our kids except in Russian and he never responds to the older one unless he speaks in Russian. He does have more interaction with the kids than it sounds like you do but maybe not significantly more - our son usually goes to (English-speaking) daycare all day and we also have a nanny for the younger one. But my husband wakes up our son and gets him ready, and then in the evenings he's usually interacting with him from around 6 pm until bedtime at 8. He also has recently started taking him to a weekend Russian class which involves a fair bit of homework (I know! But son seems to love it) and they do a bit of that every evening - generally writing Russian letters and doing puzzles. He is incredibly, incredibly patient. But at the core is just speaking - always - in Russian.
posted by peacheater at 6:53 AM on January 12, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by peacheater at 6:53 AM on January 12, 2022 [7 favorites]
One of the perks of having relatives from that part of the world is that it's entirely normal to have your kid spend a huge chunk of their vacation with grandparents, cousins, etc. This can be a great chance for them to make up a lot of ground on second language skills. We sent our 10 y/o kiddo to stay with family in Transylvania for six weeks the Year Before The Thing and they did well enough after a few weeks to attend summer camp and make some friends. We've seen dropoff since, but hopefully, more opportunities like this aren't so far away...
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:05 AM on January 12, 2022
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:05 AM on January 12, 2022
Just because nobody has mentioned it, could you send them to a Russian school or daycare?
posted by beyond_pink at 7:24 AM on January 12, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by beyond_pink at 7:24 AM on January 12, 2022 [3 favorites]
Growing up in an area with a large Russian immigrant population, several of my friends were enrolled in Russian language school and/or theatre programs by their parents for this explicit purpose.
posted by overeducated_alligator at 7:54 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by overeducated_alligator at 7:54 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]
Is a weekend language school possible? Most of the US and Canadian born people I know who speak Chinese languages did that for years as kids, even if the language was also spoken at home. We send kids to school to learn how to write and read in English. Expecting them to do the same without a teacher is asking a lot.
I don't have kids. But, I've tried speaking only a second language at home for weeks a few times. It's really hard and frustrating, even for an enthusiastic adult. I'm not sure I'd force that on a kid who's also soon starting school and learning about the world. Especially not instead of story time. But, kids TV might not be a bad idea. Sesame Street any time they want, but only the Russian version?
(On preview, what beyond_pink said.)
posted by eotvos at 7:55 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]
I don't have kids. But, I've tried speaking only a second language at home for weeks a few times. It's really hard and frustrating, even for an enthusiastic adult. I'm not sure I'd force that on a kid who's also soon starting school and learning about the world. Especially not instead of story time. But, kids TV might not be a bad idea. Sesame Street any time they want, but only the Russian version?
(On preview, what beyond_pink said.)
posted by eotvos at 7:55 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]
I grew up in an era where speaking anything other than English at home was actively discouraged ("confused the children," they said) and now have little linguistic connection to my first language, so thank you for doing this for your kids!
Things that have worked for me trying to relearn:
- Media! Youtube videos of people just speaking/interacting normally. I still struggle to follow movies or plays because of the language register and unfamiliar vocab, but a web sitcom about an overbearing mother and her two lazy kids? I'm here for that!
- Learning the alphabet, how to write their name, reading them kids' books in Russian. Maybe the beavers go on vacation and befriend a family of Russian beavers?
- Any other Russian speakers nearby? Russian school?
Would your partner be willing/able to learn some basic household terms in Russian? I think that would go a long way toward making it feel like a family language and avoid the trap of it being a way to exclude dad from conversations.
posted by basalganglia at 7:56 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]
Things that have worked for me trying to relearn:
- Media! Youtube videos of people just speaking/interacting normally. I still struggle to follow movies or plays because of the language register and unfamiliar vocab, but a web sitcom about an overbearing mother and her two lazy kids? I'm here for that!
- Learning the alphabet, how to write their name, reading them kids' books in Russian. Maybe the beavers go on vacation and befriend a family of Russian beavers?
- Any other Russian speakers nearby? Russian school?
Would your partner be willing/able to learn some basic household terms in Russian? I think that would go a long way toward making it feel like a family language and avoid the trap of it being a way to exclude dad from conversations.
posted by basalganglia at 7:56 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]
I just finished reading 'Raising a Bilingual Child' by Barbara Zurer Pearson and I would highly recommend you read it - it has detailed descriptions of methods, including One Parent One Language, and case studies.
What Pearson says is that 30% of a child’s waking hours, roughly 25 hours a week, needs to be in 'meaningful exposure' to the target language.
So that means, things like:
You speaking Russian to the kids
Playing games in Russian with the whole family
Watching media and discussing it together
And also, looking into outside options:
Immersion school, if you have that in your city
Summer camps in your country
Playgroups (if you have other families in your area you can organize with)
Vacation in Russia, enrolling them in the local school programs (this is incredibly effective - they want to play with other kids!)
But the basic bottom line is, the kids have to see a need to speak the language in order to bother learning it. They need to want to speak to you, win at a game, understand an interesting youtube show, play with other Russian-speaking kids, or some other thing that is motivational for them. And they need to spend enough time actually interacting with humans in that language to pick it up.
If you want to do this, you are going to have to put some serious effort in. And your partner needs to agree on the project - is he going to feel left out, or motivated to learn Russian himself? It's a family project. And it's totally worth it - your kids will be so happy when they are older and realize that they can go to Russia and participate in the culture. But you all have to agree that the work is worth it.
posted by epanalepsis at 8:12 AM on January 12, 2022 [2 favorites]
What Pearson says is that 30% of a child’s waking hours, roughly 25 hours a week, needs to be in 'meaningful exposure' to the target language.
So that means, things like:
You speaking Russian to the kids
Playing games in Russian with the whole family
Watching media and discussing it together
And also, looking into outside options:
Immersion school, if you have that in your city
Summer camps in your country
Playgroups (if you have other families in your area you can organize with)
Vacation in Russia, enrolling them in the local school programs (this is incredibly effective - they want to play with other kids!)
But the basic bottom line is, the kids have to see a need to speak the language in order to bother learning it. They need to want to speak to you, win at a game, understand an interesting youtube show, play with other Russian-speaking kids, or some other thing that is motivational for them. And they need to spend enough time actually interacting with humans in that language to pick it up.
If you want to do this, you are going to have to put some serious effort in. And your partner needs to agree on the project - is he going to feel left out, or motivated to learn Russian himself? It's a family project. And it's totally worth it - your kids will be so happy when they are older and realize that they can go to Russia and participate in the culture. But you all have to agree that the work is worth it.
posted by epanalepsis at 8:12 AM on January 12, 2022 [2 favorites]
If you'd be willing to share your location maybe people can recommend schools. My kids went to a daycare that was not technically a "Russian" daycare but had caregivers in the infant and toddler rooms who spoke Russian to the kids a lot, to the point that one of my middle kid's first words was "da".
Definitely you cutting over to 100% Russian at home would cause some short term pain. I wouldn't necessarily kick it off during a time of other upheaval in your family. But maybe it is worth it for the longer term prospect of your kids knowing your language. I'd think so personally.
posted by potrzebie at 8:19 AM on January 12, 2022
Definitely you cutting over to 100% Russian at home would cause some short term pain. I wouldn't necessarily kick it off during a time of other upheaval in your family. But maybe it is worth it for the longer term prospect of your kids knowing your language. I'd think so personally.
posted by potrzebie at 8:19 AM on January 12, 2022
So the following is based on my reading, done in preparation for arrival of our first child, i.e. I don't know personally how well it will work.
My situation is that I am a fluent speaker of English and Dutch, living in England with a wife who speaks some (CEFR B2 or so) Dutch and is continuing to learn and improve. I will continue to be able to work from home but have a high time-commitment job and it is likely she will spend more time with the child[ren] while they are young than I will.
I am the child of two Dutch parents who apart from a single year of school, has spent my entire life outside of the Netherlands and attending English language schools. I can speak and understand Dutch fluently as well as reading it. I can write it but not nearly as well as English (which is not surprising considering my lack of Dutch schooling).
From my reading, to achieve genuine fluent bilingualism requires:
-a minimum of 30% of their language input in the minority language (but this is for full active bilingualism with both languages equally strong - that is not the only possible goal)
-for babies and toddlers, language input from physically present people is essential and while videos etc may be useful adjuncts, actually speaking to them in person is much higher impact
-for toddlers, peer interaction in the language is important, also because it drives a reward response for the children
-monolingual relatives are also very helpful. Being Dutch I don't have those
-Language input from non-fluent speakers is beneficial and not harmful
-There are a number of overlapping critical periods for language, younger is better but a four year old could potentially still develop accent-less full fluency (there are differences that show up in fMRI between very early ( <1>
So is it worth creating all this frustration and distance if the result won't even be that anyone learns Russian?
There are levels of fluency. Even if your circumstances do not allow the children to reach full active fluency equivalent to their English, that doesn't mean they won't understand and be able to pick up a faultless accent which they can build on later to reach full fluency if desired. Picking up additional vocabulary when they are older is much easier if they have a good sense of phonology and grammar which you probably will be able to do even if they are not equally proficient in both languages.
What we are planning to do is:
-I will only speak Dutch to the child, as will my relatives
-I will speak as much Dutch as possible to my wife while she's around the child
-She is continuing to learn Dutch and will try to speak Dutch with the child, sing Dutch songs and read Dutch children's books which is well within her abilities
-Only Dutch children's books, films, and TV at home (I anticipate that we will not realistically be able to maintain this strictly but the aspiration is there)
-One day a week Dutch primary school when they are old enough. We're lucky that London has several, elsewhere in the UK (outside of Aberdeen) we'd be out of luck there
Of course we are pre first child so who knows how much of this we will be able to maintain in practice...
I see you are in [a city with a lot of Russian speakers]. Are you somewhere within that city with Russian playgroups etc? Could your partner learn Russian? As above, it is *not* the case for very young children that exposure to non-fluent language is bad or of substantially lower value. It's a big ask of an adult to learn a language and my wife has learned a language that is (let's be honest) of no economic value when all my relatives speak fluent English purely for the sake of our child[ren] which I am very thankful for and recognise as quite extraordinary.
posted by atrazine at 8:38 AM on January 12, 2022 [3 favorites]
My situation is that I am a fluent speaker of English and Dutch, living in England with a wife who speaks some (CEFR B2 or so) Dutch and is continuing to learn and improve. I will continue to be able to work from home but have a high time-commitment job and it is likely she will spend more time with the child[ren] while they are young than I will.
I am the child of two Dutch parents who apart from a single year of school, has spent my entire life outside of the Netherlands and attending English language schools. I can speak and understand Dutch fluently as well as reading it. I can write it but not nearly as well as English (which is not surprising considering my lack of Dutch schooling).
From my reading, to achieve genuine fluent bilingualism requires:
-a minimum of 30% of their language input in the minority language (but this is for full active bilingualism with both languages equally strong - that is not the only possible goal)
-for babies and toddlers, language input from physically present people is essential and while videos etc may be useful adjuncts, actually speaking to them in person is much higher impact
-for toddlers, peer interaction in the language is important, also because it drives a reward response for the children
-monolingual relatives are also very helpful. Being Dutch I don't have those
-Language input from non-fluent speakers is beneficial and not harmful
-There are a number of overlapping critical periods for language, younger is better but a four year old could potentially still develop accent-less full fluency (there are differences that show up in fMRI between very early ( <1>
So is it worth creating all this frustration and distance if the result won't even be that anyone learns Russian?
There are levels of fluency. Even if your circumstances do not allow the children to reach full active fluency equivalent to their English, that doesn't mean they won't understand and be able to pick up a faultless accent which they can build on later to reach full fluency if desired. Picking up additional vocabulary when they are older is much easier if they have a good sense of phonology and grammar which you probably will be able to do even if they are not equally proficient in both languages.
What we are planning to do is:
-I will only speak Dutch to the child, as will my relatives
-I will speak as much Dutch as possible to my wife while she's around the child
-She is continuing to learn Dutch and will try to speak Dutch with the child, sing Dutch songs and read Dutch children's books which is well within her abilities
-Only Dutch children's books, films, and TV at home (I anticipate that we will not realistically be able to maintain this strictly but the aspiration is there)
-One day a week Dutch primary school when they are old enough. We're lucky that London has several, elsewhere in the UK (outside of Aberdeen) we'd be out of luck there
Of course we are pre first child so who knows how much of this we will be able to maintain in practice...
I see you are in [a city with a lot of Russian speakers]. Are you somewhere within that city with Russian playgroups etc? Could your partner learn Russian? As above, it is *not* the case for very young children that exposure to non-fluent language is bad or of substantially lower value. It's a big ask of an adult to learn a language and my wife has learned a language that is (let's be honest) of no economic value when all my relatives speak fluent English purely for the sake of our child[ren] which I am very thankful for and recognise as quite extraordinary.
posted by atrazine at 8:38 AM on January 12, 2022 [3 favorites]
Hello! There are some really wonderful suggestions here. I just want to chime in on something that may or may not happen in your case since you have very small kids. In my household, my Russian father not responding to me unless I spoke Russian back to him created a giant rift that we still have to this day. I was a bit older when this rule was instituted and it felt very alienating. There were a lot of other issues as well but this was a pivotal nail in the coffin of what pulled us apart, and I stopped wanting to talk to him as a child and well into adulthood.
All of this is to say that if you are gentle about this approach it may work. If your kids are excited to share something with you and you pour cold water on that with "tell it to me the way I want to hear it" it may backfire.
posted by erratic meatsack at 9:03 AM on January 12, 2022 [2 favorites]
All of this is to say that if you are gentle about this approach it may work. If your kids are excited to share something with you and you pour cold water on that with "tell it to me the way I want to hear it" it may backfire.
posted by erratic meatsack at 9:03 AM on January 12, 2022 [2 favorites]
If your four-year-old is anything like other four-year-olds I know, enlist her help. Tell her that you want to teach the baby to speak Russian, but that you can't do it by yourself, so would she be willing to learn Russian with you so that the two of you can teach it to the baby together. You can still tell her stories in English while you do her hair, I think, but maybe ask her to help you come up with some stories in Russian to tell the baby (including teaching her how to talk about the beaver family in Russian, maybe?). The four-year-olds in my life would be pretty excited about this project.
posted by decathecting at 9:41 AM on January 12, 2022 [10 favorites]
posted by decathecting at 9:41 AM on January 12, 2022 [10 favorites]
Does your school board offer heritage language instruction? That can help and add to their exposure as well as give them formal training in reading/writing.
Also, would your partner be open to learning some Russian? I mean they would likely never be a fluent speaker unless they really throw themselves at it, but this might help both because it would create a little more exposure and because his openness would be a good model for them.
Finally note that the point of one parent one language isn't that the parent never speak the non-target language (i.e. when your kids are around you can still speak English to your husband) but when speaking directly to your kids you speak Russian.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 10:09 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]
Also, would your partner be open to learning some Russian? I mean they would likely never be a fluent speaker unless they really throw themselves at it, but this might help both because it would create a little more exposure and because his openness would be a good model for them.
Finally note that the point of one parent one language isn't that the parent never speak the non-target language (i.e. when your kids are around you can still speak English to your husband) but when speaking directly to your kids you speak Russian.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 10:09 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]
Children are different, although in general children are far better than adults at learning languages. When I was a child, I was bilingual, though in actual practice, I didn't speak Danish. I understood what people said and replied in English. When we moved to Denmark, by total coincidence I came into a class where at least half of the other kids where being brought up to be bilingual, so I could observe the different methods of approach. As a rule, one parent always spoke the other language. I don't remember any parents insisting on replies in that language. In one family, the parents were not very consistent, and the kids went to weekly Spanish classes at the home of another classmate. They speak Spanish at a professional level today. The girl who's mother was the Spanish teacher participated in those classes because it was fun and at home, but she also went to summer language camp at least once. Her father was really bad at Spanish.
The kids with an Italian parent had an Italian mother and a dad who was very good at Italian, so there would be Italian conversations at their home. They spent all their holidays in Italy, where almost no one in their family spoke any other languages. Interestingly, they had neighbors where the kids were taught French from infancy just for fun, they had French au pairs growing up, and a vacation house in France. They are all very good at French, so you don't have to have a parent with another language.
The girl in our class who had a French parent had no other teaching than a mother speaking French to her, I don't have any contact with her now, but as far as I remember she was good.
I think the least fluent person was a guy who parents were divorced, where the father was Turkish. This is very long ago, but I seem to remember that he said he could make himself understood at the candy store and with grandparents, without being fluent.
There are more, but this describes the spread of methods. All of the parents spoke mostly Danish when there were Danish visitors, out of politeness, and in some families the parents spoke Danish to one another.
What is interesting is that everyone from that class speaks more than two languages today. One person who grew up with Norwegian and Danish, too very similar languages, now also speaks French, Russian and English fluently. The thing about plasticity of the brain is true. Everyone chose to expand on their language skills as young adults, so you don't have to get to completely fluency in childhood, just to set a direction.
On the other hand, one can loose languages. The French members of my extended family insist I was fluent in French from when I was 8, and I can still read the paper, and buy a fruit, but I am definitely not fluent, one reason being that I married a person whose first language was French, and it was easier to let him do the talking when I should have been practicing adult-level speech. That person is actually German, and our daughter is bilingual, German + Danish (and has her degree in English literature), but since he was not comfortable with speaking German, our daughter went to a bilingual school.
posted by mumimor at 10:18 AM on January 12, 2022
The kids with an Italian parent had an Italian mother and a dad who was very good at Italian, so there would be Italian conversations at their home. They spent all their holidays in Italy, where almost no one in their family spoke any other languages. Interestingly, they had neighbors where the kids were taught French from infancy just for fun, they had French au pairs growing up, and a vacation house in France. They are all very good at French, so you don't have to have a parent with another language.
The girl in our class who had a French parent had no other teaching than a mother speaking French to her, I don't have any contact with her now, but as far as I remember she was good.
I think the least fluent person was a guy who parents were divorced, where the father was Turkish. This is very long ago, but I seem to remember that he said he could make himself understood at the candy store and with grandparents, without being fluent.
There are more, but this describes the spread of methods. All of the parents spoke mostly Danish when there were Danish visitors, out of politeness, and in some families the parents spoke Danish to one another.
What is interesting is that everyone from that class speaks more than two languages today. One person who grew up with Norwegian and Danish, too very similar languages, now also speaks French, Russian and English fluently. The thing about plasticity of the brain is true. Everyone chose to expand on their language skills as young adults, so you don't have to get to completely fluency in childhood, just to set a direction.
On the other hand, one can loose languages. The French members of my extended family insist I was fluent in French from when I was 8, and I can still read the paper, and buy a fruit, but I am definitely not fluent, one reason being that I married a person whose first language was French, and it was easier to let him do the talking when I should have been practicing adult-level speech. That person is actually German, and our daughter is bilingual, German + Danish (and has her degree in English literature), but since he was not comfortable with speaking German, our daughter went to a bilingual school.
posted by mumimor at 10:18 AM on January 12, 2022
I studied Russian in college, and I was acquainted with two students who emigrated from Russia in childhood. The one who left at age nine was actually less fluent with the grammar than I was after two years of classes. The one who left at age five was taking the same classes as me in order to master the grammar. They both spoke Russian at home. All of this is just to say that your kids might need formal study to master the grammar at the adult level. I know some universities offer special courses for heritage speakers of Russian.
posted by Comet Bug at 10:53 AM on January 12, 2022
posted by Comet Bug at 10:53 AM on January 12, 2022
Hi! Bilingual/multilingual households are common in Quebec and, to a lesser extent, the rest of Canada. I know many families where one parent spoke one language exclusively to the kids while at home and the other spoke a different language to them. This has worked well in every case for my friends, the kids easily distinguish and learn both languages.outside the house they continue except or translate where needed to include other people.
In one case the kids are also going to immersion school in french immersion (a language the parents dont speak) and that is going ok too.
Language is important!! Definitely worth it, and starting right away.
posted by chapps at 10:46 PM on January 12, 2022
In one case the kids are also going to immersion school in french immersion (a language the parents dont speak) and that is going ok too.
Language is important!! Definitely worth it, and starting right away.
posted by chapps at 10:46 PM on January 12, 2022
Hi!
Just another suggestion I haven't seen mentioned: can you designate something you do as a family in Russian? Like you all do "outdoor sporting fun" in Russian or cooking in Russian? Or the stuffed animals all speak Russian so every time you play with them, it's in Russian?
I've had some luck learning languages that way, at least you get one "vocab set" and exposure to basic grammar/syntax/sound. Good luck :)
posted by athirstforsalt at 12:27 AM on January 13, 2022
Just another suggestion I haven't seen mentioned: can you designate something you do as a family in Russian? Like you all do "outdoor sporting fun" in Russian or cooking in Russian? Or the stuffed animals all speak Russian so every time you play with them, it's in Russian?
I've had some luck learning languages that way, at least you get one "vocab set" and exposure to basic grammar/syntax/sound. Good luck :)
posted by athirstforsalt at 12:27 AM on January 13, 2022
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I am skeptical that 50 minutes a day and weekends will make them "fluent" speakers, but you can absolutely get them to learn a lot of Russian phrases and cultural signposts. My brother in law's kids both speak parts of three languages because of various native language speaking family members, but already as they move past toddler-hood and into kid-hood, they default to English and tend to use their other languages for things like terms of endearment (dyada and tetya in a funny accent), hello and goodbye, etc. And they very much understand if someone speaks in Russian to them (go get your shoes, let's go to the playground, etc.) I don't have the experience of raising small children with her, but my step kid knows only a handful of Russian words, and they tend to be cultural things or names.
I think increasing the amount of time you speak Russian to them would probably be welcome and a learning opportunity to them (maybe your older kid complains a bit, but she'll get into it and then it becomes natural) but I don't think its going to lead to lifetime fluency. If full fluency is your goal, you should think about future day care and immersion schools.
posted by RajahKing at 6:10 AM on January 12, 2022 [1 favorite]