Two languages, unusual occurrences
June 25, 2020 9:26 AM Subscribe
My bilingual son is doing some interesting things with language. Parents of bilingual kids, is this something that you saw?
My son has been bilingual from birth and now at 2 does two things that are surprising to me and I was wondering if it is common for bilingual kids:
1. We'll communicate to him in one language, he will then interpret into the second language and then respond in the second language. For example if we say in one language "What color is the truck?" he'll interpret into the second language (i.e. say in the second language "What color is the truck" back to us) and then respond in the second language, "red."
2. He will be arguing with us about something in one language (for example, not wanting to take a bath) and then if we switch to the other language he is (almost) immediately compliant.
I'm curious if this is something seen in bilingual children or if this is unique to my son. Anecdotes are more than welcome, but I prefer them coming from people with direct experience either as the bilingual child or parent/guardian/caretaker of one.
My son has been bilingual from birth and now at 2 does two things that are surprising to me and I was wondering if it is common for bilingual kids:
1. We'll communicate to him in one language, he will then interpret into the second language and then respond in the second language. For example if we say in one language "What color is the truck?" he'll interpret into the second language (i.e. say in the second language "What color is the truck" back to us) and then respond in the second language, "red."
2. He will be arguing with us about something in one language (for example, not wanting to take a bath) and then if we switch to the other language he is (almost) immediately compliant.
I'm curious if this is something seen in bilingual children or if this is unique to my son. Anecdotes are more than welcome, but I prefer them coming from people with direct experience either as the bilingual child or parent/guardian/caretaker of one.
Hello, our bilingual toddler doesn’t do either of those things. However, only my husband is also bilingual in the two languages so maybe that makes a difference?
posted by newsomz at 10:14 AM on June 25, 2020
posted by newsomz at 10:14 AM on June 25, 2020
Best answer: just adding my perspective from a bi/multilingual society with our own creole language, this sounds very common. I do #1 a lot, and i have family members who'd switch to textbook perfect English when they're mad (something like #2). I've noticed something like #2 when I'm out and about and observing parents as well.
posted by cendawanita at 10:23 AM on June 25, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by cendawanita at 10:23 AM on June 25, 2020 [1 favorite]
and for #1, from my own pov, i wouldn't describe the act of interpreting as such, if only it seems to indicate some kind of mental lag or conscious act. i hear it just fine and am understanding it in the original language, it's just that i'm replying in the other language that my verbal side has an easier access to at that moment. it also comes out more frequently in my less stronger languages (now that I'm an adult learner), and i don't need to stress about replying in the same language.
posted by cendawanita at 10:28 AM on June 25, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by cendawanita at 10:28 AM on June 25, 2020 [1 favorite]
Best answer: It is a very common experience in my community. I grew up bilingual (dialect of French & English) and #1 is how we, siblings and cousins, spoke with each other and still do. Many of my peers did the same thing. This is especially true with how we played some games and sports - one language was for school and family and the other for the field or hockey rink. To further, when I moved provinces and my new French teacher interviewed me to gauge my ability in French she was taken aback when she asked me questions in French and I responded in English. For #2, I had a somewhat similar experience in the sense that when I was scolded in English I could shrug it off but if it was in French my parents meant business.
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:32 AM on June 25, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:32 AM on June 25, 2020 [5 favorites]
When I was a kid my parents would often speak to me in Urdu and I'd reply in English for anything more complicated than a simple reply. That probably has more to do with my Urdu ability than anything else though.
My kids are bilingual at home (English and Japanese) and also learning French at school. I think they tend to stay in the same language we are speaking in but it is hard for me to track because we all switch between English and Japanese over the course of any given conversation.
As far as acting different depending on the language, I haven't noticed that. Perhaps you use one language more the closer you are to getting angry so if you tell him to do something in that one your son knows he better listen.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 11:13 AM on June 25, 2020
My kids are bilingual at home (English and Japanese) and also learning French at school. I think they tend to stay in the same language we are speaking in but it is hard for me to track because we all switch between English and Japanese over the course of any given conversation.
As far as acting different depending on the language, I haven't noticed that. Perhaps you use one language more the closer you are to getting angry so if you tell him to do something in that one your son knows he better listen.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 11:13 AM on June 25, 2020
For #1 some of the answers above seem to be skipping over the "translate into the other language" part, as in he will actually say "What color is the truck?" in the second language before answering the question, right? My friends who were raised bilingual definitely answer a lot of questions in English (their "easier" language) even when their family is speaking another language. But they don't repeat the question in English first.
These are adults I'm talking about and I don't know how they spoke when they were kids, so it could be the stage of learning language he is at. But I wanted to point that out and make sure I'm understanding.
posted by sillysally at 11:47 AM on June 25, 2020 [6 favorites]
These are adults I'm talking about and I don't know how they spoke when they were kids, so it could be the stage of learning language he is at. But I wanted to point that out and make sure I'm understanding.
posted by sillysally at 11:47 AM on June 25, 2020 [6 favorites]
I think it is one big language that he is engaging. As to why one word or the other is used, I guess that there is no logic as to why one language is used when speaking to him at home. So the logical word is whatever word you want as they are the same. I have seen bi-lingual speakers use their primary language with their kids in a more serious tone and that having traction. Not sure if that is because of repetition over time (serious subjects = primary language + strict tone) but it was effective.
Language is pretty cool stuff. My grandfather was raised by his grandmother who only spoke Polish. It was his primary language until he was 5 years old. English and Polish after that. When he was 75, he had a stroke. We he awoke in the hospital several hours later, he spoke Polish exclusively. Had to get a translator. Over a month or two, with therapy, he regained the ability to speak English again.
posted by zerobyproxy at 1:22 PM on June 25, 2020 [2 favorites]
Language is pretty cool stuff. My grandfather was raised by his grandmother who only spoke Polish. It was his primary language until he was 5 years old. English and Polish after that. When he was 75, he had a stroke. We he awoke in the hospital several hours later, he spoke Polish exclusively. Had to get a translator. Over a month or two, with therapy, he regained the ability to speak English again.
posted by zerobyproxy at 1:22 PM on June 25, 2020 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Raising two kids bilingual, less mish-mosh/ code switching than I grew up with, but then they aren’t growing up in a bilingual culture/society. Answering in the other language? Absolutely.
They definitely express themselves differently in the different languages (they’re teenagers now) and some things they talk about in one language or the other : often emotional-related school issues in the language they speak with their peers... other, more general topics in either language. In that sense their growing up is definitely happening in the one language predominantly. At the same time, it’s a little bit all soup. Which I remember from my own growing up. And when I run into bilingual people I know in the street we will slip around from language to language. Some things are expressed ‘better’ in one language or the other. And in that sense, #2, sometimes things are more appealing/less offensive in one language than the other (according to my teenagers) go figure.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:17 PM on June 25, 2020 [1 favorite]
They definitely express themselves differently in the different languages (they’re teenagers now) and some things they talk about in one language or the other : often emotional-related school issues in the language they speak with their peers... other, more general topics in either language. In that sense their growing up is definitely happening in the one language predominantly. At the same time, it’s a little bit all soup. Which I remember from my own growing up. And when I run into bilingual people I know in the street we will slip around from language to language. Some things are expressed ‘better’ in one language or the other. And in that sense, #2, sometimes things are more appealing/less offensive in one language than the other (according to my teenagers) go figure.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:17 PM on June 25, 2020 [1 favorite]
1. Very common to respond in the “dominant” language, regardless of which language the question was in, so mismatches are unremarkable, but I haven’t heard (of) anyone repeating the question in the other language before responding. I’m raising bilingual kids and will often repeat In my language, the minority language, what they said or asked in any language, similar to active listening. I do this either in order to have them hear what they said in my language as well or to give them a correct version of what they said, if they used my language, instead of correcting their speech. I could imagine a toddler imitating this active listening interpretation but haven’t encountered that.
2. Not in my observation.
posted by meijusa at 2:22 PM on June 25, 2020 [2 favorites]
2. Not in my observation.
posted by meijusa at 2:22 PM on June 25, 2020 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I did number 1 as a bilingual kid, but be careful with this. As I got older—and kinda embarrassed of my immigrant parents speaking a weird foreign language—we got into the bad habit of my mom speaking Arabic to me, but me always answering back in English. As an adult, my Arabic comprehension is excellent and I can still speak the language, but not as fluently as I understand it.
Also very much agree it’s just one big language when you are super little.. I remember being in American preschool and using the Arabic words for colors and my American classmates being very confused (and I was also confused as to why they didn’t know the words).
posted by namemeansgazelle at 5:11 PM on June 25, 2020 [4 favorites]
Also very much agree it’s just one big language when you are super little.. I remember being in American preschool and using the Arabic words for colors and my American classmates being very confused (and I was also confused as to why they didn’t know the words).
posted by namemeansgazelle at 5:11 PM on June 25, 2020 [4 favorites]
from a bilingual's perspective growing up similar to your child:
1. not in my experience. in my family we had a rule of "reply in the language you are spoken to". my parents really adhered to this and it worked fine for me in learning both.
2. is the language in which he shows compliance your native language? again, when growing up bilingual, language A was my parents native language, and B was what they had learned before they had me. If they needed me to understand that "now i *really* mean it", they would say it in A and i got the message "this is serious now". sort of the equivalent of saying their full name out loud, rather than addressing then in any nickname, the subtext reads that PAY ATTENTION NOW.
posted by alchemist at 11:40 PM on June 25, 2020
1. not in my experience. in my family we had a rule of "reply in the language you are spoken to". my parents really adhered to this and it worked fine for me in learning both.
2. is the language in which he shows compliance your native language? again, when growing up bilingual, language A was my parents native language, and B was what they had learned before they had me. If they needed me to understand that "now i *really* mean it", they would say it in A and i got the message "this is serious now". sort of the equivalent of saying their full name out loud, rather than addressing then in any nickname, the subtext reads that PAY ATTENTION NOW.
posted by alchemist at 11:40 PM on June 25, 2020
Best answer: Bilingual Italian-English household in Italy here, ages 5 and 7.5. Our day-to-day is largely 75% Italian, because it’s just me and Netflix speaking English. My kids have/had a tendency to use English for certain subsets of words (colors, numbers) in spite of me constantly saying a word in English and then repeating it in Italian when reading their board books. (And years later I am still off book with “Goodnight moon. Buonanotte luna.”)
My pediatrician always likes to say that in their brains, they’re learning one language with multiple words for the same thing. As they grew/grow older, they start to figure out code switching, largely thanks to figuring out their preschool friends and teachers don’t understand English.
And yes, my kids know that if I switch to English, they’d better straighten up. I’ve usually said it at least twice in Italian to no effect before pulling out the English, though.
posted by romakimmy at 1:13 AM on June 26, 2020
My pediatrician always likes to say that in their brains, they’re learning one language with multiple words for the same thing. As they grew/grow older, they start to figure out code switching, largely thanks to figuring out their preschool friends and teachers don’t understand English.
And yes, my kids know that if I switch to English, they’d better straighten up. I’ve usually said it at least twice in Italian to no effect before pulling out the English, though.
posted by romakimmy at 1:13 AM on June 26, 2020
they’re learning one language with multiple words for the same thing.
I think this is very true. It also reminds me of another situation I've found myself in. I learned my French mostly from my relatives that were part of my grandmother's and great mother's generation. As a result, my French is kind of fossilised as I use a lot of the same words that they did. As you can imagine I have found that French has moved on without me. So during the pandemic I was helping my son with his French homework and he needed to know the word for washcloth... easy it is débarbouillette. While that was not incorrect it wasn't the correct answer - serviette was. Which was funny to me because serviette is the word used for menstrual pad. I mentioned this to his teacher and she very politely informed me hardly anyone uses that antique word anymore...
posted by Ashwagandha at 12:31 PM on June 26, 2020
I think this is very true. It also reminds me of another situation I've found myself in. I learned my French mostly from my relatives that were part of my grandmother's and great mother's generation. As a result, my French is kind of fossilised as I use a lot of the same words that they did. As you can imagine I have found that French has moved on without me. So during the pandemic I was helping my son with his French homework and he needed to know the word for washcloth... easy it is débarbouillette. While that was not incorrect it wasn't the correct answer - serviette was. Which was funny to me because serviette is the word used for menstrual pad. I mentioned this to his teacher and she very politely informed me hardly anyone uses that antique word anymore...
posted by Ashwagandha at 12:31 PM on June 26, 2020
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For 1: Is he maybe modeling behaviors that you and/or your partner/co-parent are doing? He might be picking up a pattern that you do that you're not aware of, or he might be generalizing "interpreting" a bit too much.
For 2: This is really easy to explain if what you're doing is switching from a language you tend to use more for more intimate contexts vs. a language you use outside of the home/for formal businesses. Switching to the formal business code signals to your son "I really mean it."
But even if that's not the case--just the act of switching between the languages/codes can signal something. Switching away from a code that you've agreed on for the conversation (Language X) into a new code (Y) can be indicative of disalignment between the two talkers (but also a lot of other things! It's complicated.) Your son is likely picking up on that, and may be going "Oh crud, Parent is really mad at me now, I better do what they say."
posted by damayanti at 10:04 AM on June 25, 2020 [12 favorites]