how to be a more fun aunt
May 30, 2019 2:43 AM Subscribe
I want to be a more 'fun' aunt to my many nieces and nephews, but I'm scared of physical play and accidentally hurting them! How can I get over this fear and play with them safely?
I am an adoring aunt to many small niblings, but I'm not big into physical play (as a child, I was very clumsy, physically timid and bookish), and am much happier reading to them, singing, playing guessing games or just talking to them. I had a really interesting conversation about democracy with my 5 year old nephew the other day!
But they love physical play - being swung about by the arms, being tossed up into the air and caught, etc. I am terrified to do this! What if I drop them and they get hurt? I worry they'll think of me as boring, especially as they get older and stop needing to be read aloud to etc. They already show a marked preference for their other uncles who are more comfortable with this kind of play. They don't even like it when I push them on the swings because I don't push them high enough. (but I'm scared they'll fall!)
I don't have children of my own so I am very cautious with other people's. It's possible that if I had children of my own I would be a little more chill. It doesn't help that many of them are accident-prone children who have already had to go to hospital for many play-related injuries (falling off things etc). How can I stop thinking of kids as tiny fragile breakable beings and learn how to play with them safely in the way that they prefer?
I am an adoring aunt to many small niblings, but I'm not big into physical play (as a child, I was very clumsy, physically timid and bookish), and am much happier reading to them, singing, playing guessing games or just talking to them. I had a really interesting conversation about democracy with my 5 year old nephew the other day!
But they love physical play - being swung about by the arms, being tossed up into the air and caught, etc. I am terrified to do this! What if I drop them and they get hurt? I worry they'll think of me as boring, especially as they get older and stop needing to be read aloud to etc. They already show a marked preference for their other uncles who are more comfortable with this kind of play. They don't even like it when I push them on the swings because I don't push them high enough. (but I'm scared they'll fall!)
I don't have children of my own so I am very cautious with other people's. It's possible that if I had children of my own I would be a little more chill. It doesn't help that many of them are accident-prone children who have already had to go to hospital for many play-related injuries (falling off things etc). How can I stop thinking of kids as tiny fragile breakable beings and learn how to play with them safely in the way that they prefer?
I'm sensing some beanplating about what your niblings may or may not think of you - even several years later into the future?
Using my toddler and his friends as an anecdote my observations are that "Marked preferences" in children change as frequently as the wind and are also extremely contextual. So uncle one might be super fun because he's the dude that will throw me up in the air, but two weeks later he might be boring uncle one because that's all he does.
If physical play makes you uncomfortable think through first what you are comfortable and interested in and offer those options and immerse yourself in play with them, perhaps separately or after Uncle one. You can be Board Game Aunt. Science experiment aunt. Awesome story telling Aunt. Video game aunt. Lego Aunt. Gardening aunt. Zoo and Museum Aunt. Painting aunt.
posted by Karaage at 3:54 AM on May 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
Using my toddler and his friends as an anecdote my observations are that "Marked preferences" in children change as frequently as the wind and are also extremely contextual. So uncle one might be super fun because he's the dude that will throw me up in the air, but two weeks later he might be boring uncle one because that's all he does.
If physical play makes you uncomfortable think through first what you are comfortable and interested in and offer those options and immerse yourself in play with them, perhaps separately or after Uncle one. You can be Board Game Aunt. Science experiment aunt. Awesome story telling Aunt. Video game aunt. Lego Aunt. Gardening aunt. Zoo and Museum Aunt. Painting aunt.
posted by Karaage at 3:54 AM on May 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
Talk to the parents to make sure they’re on board with this kind of play and what guidelines they have around it. My kid loves climbing on his uncle, going for shoulder rides, etc. and I allow it to an extent but it’s really not my favorite. I want my kid to learn to be gentle and respectful with other people’s bodies and personal space, and to make sure the other person wants to hug, wrestle, whatever - not only because it’s super important in itself, but out of self-preservation: it can really hurt if he climbs me like playground equipment, and lots of carrying a squirmy bouncy kid can wonk up my back and knees. Doing physical activity with his uncle sometimes bleeds over into wanting to do the same thing with me, and I have to re-teach him out of it.
There are many other ways to be a fun aunt that are less likely to end in injury, and even if you are as swingy-aroundy as their uncles that might not make them change their preferences. Be fun in ways that are fun for you.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:30 AM on May 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
There are many other ways to be a fun aunt that are less likely to end in injury, and even if you are as swingy-aroundy as their uncles that might not make them change their preferences. Be fun in ways that are fun for you.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:30 AM on May 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
A fun aunt:
- see and accept me as I am
- think I'm special or wonderful
- bring something different or interesting to the relationship.
example: I had one aunt who would let me look through her extensive jewelry collection and try it on. I had another who always had Coke in the fridge and would let me drink it. She always had great food and this wonderful house and would always tell me I was beautiful and walked with grace. She was calm and accepting which was a contrast to my home life at the time.
- my sister would bring my kids on outings. She would indulge them and do things with them that I would most likely never do -- like buy them hermit crabs. My sister is a schoolteacher and she was the first person who taught my kids to write. She isn't a physical person. They adore her.
Taking the time to be with them, accepting them, and injecting new experiences, or something different from what they get at home, is what makes a fun aunt.
posted by loveandhappiness at 4:30 AM on May 30, 2019 [20 favorites]
- see and accept me as I am
- think I'm special or wonderful
- bring something different or interesting to the relationship.
example: I had one aunt who would let me look through her extensive jewelry collection and try it on. I had another who always had Coke in the fridge and would let me drink it. She always had great food and this wonderful house and would always tell me I was beautiful and walked with grace. She was calm and accepting which was a contrast to my home life at the time.
- my sister would bring my kids on outings. She would indulge them and do things with them that I would most likely never do -- like buy them hermit crabs. My sister is a schoolteacher and she was the first person who taught my kids to write. She isn't a physical person. They adore her.
Taking the time to be with them, accepting them, and injecting new experiences, or something different from what they get at home, is what makes a fun aunt.
posted by loveandhappiness at 4:30 AM on May 30, 2019 [20 favorites]
Hide and seek. My favourite spot was lying on a sofa with a cushion over my head and one over my feet. Took Miss 4 and Mr 2 ages to find me. Also good spots: behind curtains, lying in the dry bath.
Chase and cuddles is also a go to- physical affection is important to little kids, and it doesn't have to be 'throw up in the air' style.
Yes, it is possible to over extend yourself and (nearly, thankfully) drop a child on their head on the floor. It's OK to be cautious and leave the throwing around to someone else!
My sister in law bribes our niblings to say that she is their favourite auntie- (it's a joke) they love us all though.
posted by freethefeet at 4:54 AM on May 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Chase and cuddles is also a go to- physical affection is important to little kids, and it doesn't have to be 'throw up in the air' style.
Yes, it is possible to over extend yourself and (nearly, thankfully) drop a child on their head on the floor. It's OK to be cautious and leave the throwing around to someone else!
My sister in law bribes our niblings to say that she is their favourite auntie- (it's a joke) they love us all though.
posted by freethefeet at 4:54 AM on May 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
How can I stop thinking of kids as tiny fragile breakable beings and learn how to play with them safely in the way that they prefer?
So yeah, kids are small. They break sometimes. But they are also pretty strong. They also give feedback and squeak when they start to get hurt, so you can back off a bit. If you do want to play a bit more confidently with them, just start small and build up. A chase here, a grab there. Have a look at their body language, facial expressions, listen to their tone of voice. After having a go a few times you'll get a feel for it.
posted by freethefeet at 5:08 AM on May 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
So yeah, kids are small. They break sometimes. But they are also pretty strong. They also give feedback and squeak when they start to get hurt, so you can back off a bit. If you do want to play a bit more confidently with them, just start small and build up. A chase here, a grab there. Have a look at their body language, facial expressions, listen to their tone of voice. After having a go a few times you'll get a feel for it.
posted by freethefeet at 5:08 AM on May 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
My favorite aunt as a child actually was very ill and couldn't walk without the aid of a walker. But we connected on so many levels. She would make me little bread and butter sandwiches that she would assemble into a wall, and then plop an egg on top decorated to look like Humpty-Dumpty. She would take me to the pet store to buy things for her fish and allow me to feed them. She kept a special store of toys in her house that I could play with. She made special origami creatures for me. She showed me the value of keeping track of everyone's birthdays and sending them cards. She shared books with me and we discussed them. She was calm and accepting and would listen to my stories of school drama and friendships without judgment. I miss her every day. There's more than one way to be a fabulous aunt.
posted by peacheater at 5:43 AM on May 30, 2019 [12 favorites]
posted by peacheater at 5:43 AM on May 30, 2019 [12 favorites]
There are other ways to be a "fun" aunt. Here are some suggestions, but ymmv -
- Bring them really interesting presents, unusual things you might find in a museum store.
- Be the "book" aunt. Bring them pop-up books, coffee table books on subjects they are interested in, etc.
- Take them fun places. Is Mom lactose-intolerant? You be the one who takes them to get ice cream. Dad not a sports fan? You be the one to take them to a baseball game.
One of the great things about extended family is that you get to be an adult in their life who does different things than they are used to from their parents. They already have plenty of outlets for boisterous play. It is okay to bring something different to the relationship. It may seem awkward at first, but over time it will be treasured.
posted by eleslie at 6:00 AM on May 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
- Bring them really interesting presents, unusual things you might find in a museum store.
- Be the "book" aunt. Bring them pop-up books, coffee table books on subjects they are interested in, etc.
- Take them fun places. Is Mom lactose-intolerant? You be the one who takes them to get ice cream. Dad not a sports fan? You be the one to take them to a baseball game.
One of the great things about extended family is that you get to be an adult in their life who does different things than they are used to from their parents. They already have plenty of outlets for boisterous play. It is okay to bring something different to the relationship. It may seem awkward at first, but over time it will be treasured.
posted by eleslie at 6:00 AM on May 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Our fun aunt got categorized that way when we were a little older (maybe starting when we were 6 years old or so), because she’d come sit and chat with us while the adults were socializing with each other. She remembered our friends’ names, things going on at school or camp or whatever, and spent a lot of time hanging out with us at the kids’ table. Nothing to do with physical play! It was about taking us seriously as little people.
posted by sallybrown at 6:05 AM on May 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by sallybrown at 6:05 AM on May 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
(Oh yeah and offer to babysit and then let them stay up late, watch scary movies, and eat good snacks. That’s a guaranteed path!)
posted by sallybrown at 6:07 AM on May 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by sallybrown at 6:07 AM on May 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
I have a stash of field guides: birds, animals, lizards and amphibians. The grandkids love to sit on my lap and page through them, repeat the funny names, find their favorites (one the flamingos, another any snake) and see where we live on the migration maps. The older ones have aged past these, so you do have to keep on the move, of course. I support the opinion that there are a lot of ways to interest kids.
Making them some special treat that’s just for them is always appealing. I usually fix some sort of mocktail for them if they’re here for breakfast. Always different and sometimes a bigger hit than others, but believe you me, I’ll hear about it if I skip the little paper umbrellas or cherries-transfixed-with-a-sword (you can get junk like that at a restaurant supply place and it greatly enhances the experience, as well as a variety of straws).
Just be yourself, but the best version. They’ll like you just fine.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 6:10 AM on May 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
Making them some special treat that’s just for them is always appealing. I usually fix some sort of mocktail for them if they’re here for breakfast. Always different and sometimes a bigger hit than others, but believe you me, I’ll hear about it if I skip the little paper umbrellas or cherries-transfixed-with-a-sword (you can get junk like that at a restaurant supply place and it greatly enhances the experience, as well as a variety of straws).
Just be yourself, but the best version. They’ll like you just fine.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 6:10 AM on May 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
You can tickle them if that is something they like. If you do it well, they‘ll already run away in (joyous!) shrieking when you do the ‚tickle fingers‘, of course only to return and squeal ‚Tickle meeeee!‘.
Your being careful is a great asset here and will put you high above the roughhousing uncles if you do it right - tickling is only fun if you meticulously respect boundaries and in my experience rough players will often overdo it and scare the little ones. Your light touch will be appreciated. Done right and respectfully, tickle games are actually a great way to teach consent and boundaries.
You needn‘t worry, soon your niblings will prefer intellectual to physical attention anyway. Coming from a mom who doesn‘t really roughhouse - being swung by the arms is fun for 5 minutes but actual attention is what kids crave at any age.
posted by The Toad at 7:00 AM on May 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Your being careful is a great asset here and will put you high above the roughhousing uncles if you do it right - tickling is only fun if you meticulously respect boundaries and in my experience rough players will often overdo it and scare the little ones. Your light touch will be appreciated. Done right and respectfully, tickle games are actually a great way to teach consent and boundaries.
You needn‘t worry, soon your niblings will prefer intellectual to physical attention anyway. Coming from a mom who doesn‘t really roughhouse - being swung by the arms is fun for 5 minutes but actual attention is what kids crave at any age.
posted by The Toad at 7:00 AM on May 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Don't try to be someone you're not - kids will sniff that out in an instant and see you as "trying too hard" which is something they generally shy away from.
Having said that, some kids like different things at different times so if you're at a family gathering, they may want to roughhouse with an uncle or two but that doesn't mean they love you any less.
Keep showing up for them, be a safe place for them (emotionally as well as physically), and love them for who you are. (Sounds like you're already doing all that :-) )
posted by dawkins_7 at 8:01 AM on May 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Having said that, some kids like different things at different times so if you're at a family gathering, they may want to roughhouse with an uncle or two but that doesn't mean they love you any less.
Keep showing up for them, be a safe place for them (emotionally as well as physically), and love them for who you are. (Sounds like you're already doing all that :-) )
posted by dawkins_7 at 8:01 AM on May 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Do you. Be the Aunt that sits & listens to them, that goes for walks & talks with them not at them. Be the board game Aunt & the trying computer games Aunt & sitting & talking while playing games badly Aunt. They'll grow out of being roughhoused, you will instead have established a solid foundation of trust that you hear them & see them as they are, that you can have with them for the rest of their lives. Take it from an Aunt that didn't rough house, that stage lasts a very short time and it sounds like they have people in their lives that do that stuff with them, it's OK to bring something different. Remember they grow up & will grow out of rough housing, they'll never grow out of wanting someone who loves them wanting to listen to them & spend time with them.
If you want to be more physical without being physical. Take them to a local park & let them play on the play equipment & be interested every single time they say "Look at me". Or go fly a kite with them, or go for walks on the beach & collect shells. Take them on hikes or bike rides.
posted by wwax at 8:26 AM on May 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
If you want to be more physical without being physical. Take them to a local park & let them play on the play equipment & be interested every single time they say "Look at me". Or go fly a kite with them, or go for walks on the beach & collect shells. Take them on hikes or bike rides.
posted by wwax at 8:26 AM on May 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
I don't think you have to push your boundaries outside of what you feel is safe to play with your niblings. You can still tickle them, bounce them on your knees. I pretend to fall on my son - I make a big show of "Oh no! I'm gonna fall! Oh no!" and then dramatically "fall" on him while, of course, putting no weight on him. He thinks this is HILARIOUS. Another endlessly funny game is that he stands behind me, I grab his wrists over my shoulders and turn back and forth, swinging him a little bit (he doesn't really leave the ground) but pretend I can't find him. "On no! Where is my little boy? I can hear him giggling, but I can't see him! Help! Where is he?!?!"
And honestly, if you get down on the floor and play with them: puzzles, cars, ponies, dolls, whatever, do art projects, or bake and decorate cookies, whatever, they will adore you. Giving them your full, undivided attention is enough. Listen when they tell you stories, ask them questions other than, "How was school?" and you will be a favorite.
posted by Aquifer at 8:43 AM on May 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
And honestly, if you get down on the floor and play with them: puzzles, cars, ponies, dolls, whatever, do art projects, or bake and decorate cookies, whatever, they will adore you. Giving them your full, undivided attention is enough. Listen when they tell you stories, ask them questions other than, "How was school?" and you will be a favorite.
posted by Aquifer at 8:43 AM on May 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Zany physical play is popular with lots of kids, but it's not the only thing they like, especially over time. Start taking them for walks, singly or in groups. Listen to them ask them to tell you about their friends or whatever they like. Learn to identify plants, birds, bugs trees and teach them. You will end up being the auntie they come to when they need to talk; a great role. Go to the playground and let them run off energy.
Learn to make up stories. I used to make up bedtime stories that always began One Day Prince Son went for a walk and included his stuffed animals. We had several puppet animals and sometimes the story was told from Polar Bear's point of view, by Polar Bear. There were adventures and silliness, and the Prince and his friends always came home safe and sound. Feel free to go to a library and steal ideas from good children's books.
Read to them. Sing to them. Be the auntie who gives them a bath and sings silly songs - splashing and bubbles and funny hairdos with shampoo are pretty popular. Have a few lullabies that you and only you sing to them.
As they get older, teach them stuff like cooking or drawing. Do projects. One whole summer my son and his friends like making masks that I cut out of old file folders, decorated with markers, glitter, tissue, pictures cut from magazines and catalogs.
What they like most is your interest in them and love for them.
posted by theora55 at 8:48 AM on May 30, 2019
Learn to make up stories. I used to make up bedtime stories that always began One Day Prince Son went for a walk and included his stuffed animals. We had several puppet animals and sometimes the story was told from Polar Bear's point of view, by Polar Bear. There were adventures and silliness, and the Prince and his friends always came home safe and sound. Feel free to go to a library and steal ideas from good children's books.
Read to them. Sing to them. Be the auntie who gives them a bath and sings silly songs - splashing and bubbles and funny hairdos with shampoo are pretty popular. Have a few lullabies that you and only you sing to them.
As they get older, teach them stuff like cooking or drawing. Do projects. One whole summer my son and his friends like making masks that I cut out of old file folders, decorated with markers, glitter, tissue, pictures cut from magazines and catalogs.
What they like most is your interest in them and love for them.
posted by theora55 at 8:48 AM on May 30, 2019
Little kids often love having their back skritched. Consider the treasure hunt back skritch. Variations are fun for all ages and a nice way to be physical without roughhousing.
Honestly it is fine to be careful. Sure, most physical play doesn't result in injury, but injuries from kids being dropped are most definitely a thing that can cause long term problems (and don't discount the potential injury /discomfort to you! My brother cracked a rib for my dad while playing at least once; and my husband tore off his own toenail play-chasing a little one around.) So if it's not your bag it's fine! What kids really want is your focus and attention, anyway. Take them for a walk and show them stuff.
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:15 AM on May 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Honestly it is fine to be careful. Sure, most physical play doesn't result in injury, but injuries from kids being dropped are most definitely a thing that can cause long term problems (and don't discount the potential injury /discomfort to you! My brother cracked a rib for my dad while playing at least once; and my husband tore off his own toenail play-chasing a little one around.) So if it's not your bag it's fine! What kids really want is your focus and attention, anyway. Take them for a walk and show them stuff.
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:15 AM on May 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
They already show a marked preference for their other uncles who are more comfortable with this kind of play. They don't even like it when I push them on the swings because I don't push them high enough.
I feel like this is the heart of the reason for your question. Don't what their preferences look like at any age - they will change over time, but what's more...they may be more related to what their daily lives look like than anything you're doing. For example, if the kids are home with moms, they may gravitate towards uncles over aunts right now for no reason you control.
But what's more, their love for you and their uncles is not a cup of sugar that will get used up. They can be more demonstrative with people who throw them in the air and still love you tons, just like you have room in your heart for all of them even if some are more wild than others.
Here's a story for you. I am actually "the hairy aunt" in that I have some facial hair and while I used to obsess over its removal, we were in those kids' lives in a way where sometimes we just picked up and went to see them and maybe I had hairs on my lip or chin. One time my niece asked me about it and inside I was cringing at what an uncool aunt I am although on the outside I gave a very feminist little talk. I scheduled waxing before our trips together religiously after that!
She's 24 now and sells a line of her own hand-designed art...which features women with visible body hair.
It's okay to be you!
posted by warriorqueen at 9:27 AM on May 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
I feel like this is the heart of the reason for your question. Don't what their preferences look like at any age - they will change over time, but what's more...they may be more related to what their daily lives look like than anything you're doing. For example, if the kids are home with moms, they may gravitate towards uncles over aunts right now for no reason you control.
But what's more, their love for you and their uncles is not a cup of sugar that will get used up. They can be more demonstrative with people who throw them in the air and still love you tons, just like you have room in your heart for all of them even if some are more wild than others.
Here's a story for you. I am actually "the hairy aunt" in that I have some facial hair and while I used to obsess over its removal, we were in those kids' lives in a way where sometimes we just picked up and went to see them and maybe I had hairs on my lip or chin. One time my niece asked me about it and inside I was cringing at what an uncool aunt I am although on the outside I gave a very feminist little talk. I scheduled waxing before our trips together religiously after that!
She's 24 now and sells a line of her own hand-designed art...which features women with visible body hair.
It's okay to be you!
posted by warriorqueen at 9:27 AM on May 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
loveandhappiness said it best, you don't need to roughhouse to be a wonderful aunt. But I will add that with my toddler, while dad does most of the tossing around, I will definitely grab her while we're both lying down and tickle her while rolling around, or blow raspberries on her belly, or pretend to munch on her arms and legs (while calling out "look at this tasty little girl!") which she finds hilarious. Maybe some down to the ground physical play would be as fun and not as worrisome for dropping?
posted by namesarehard at 9:30 AM on May 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by namesarehard at 9:30 AM on May 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
If you're asking how to engage in more physical play with kids, then there are actually concrete techniques/guidelines that you can adopt or bear in mind when you play with the kids. Maybe if you have a better or more concrete grasp of how to safely play with kids physically you might feel less timid/fearful of hurting them?
Some examples of guidelines/tips: When swinging them around, grasp them by their limbs but not their joints (kids are more prone to injury if you hold them by their joints when playing around). When carrying them on your back, make sure there's enough space clearance behind you (so their head doesn't bash against something), and make sure they are safely on the ground when alighting before you release your hold on them. Watch out for sensitive body parts like their head, neck (because this supports the head) and their eyes (esp if they are thrashing or swinging themselves around vigorously). A lot of this is learning-by-doing - I think after awhile you figure out the right amounts of force to use, and you get better at anticipating the trajectory of limbs/heads/torsos etc.
Maybe you can google some more of these guidelines (or maybe other MeFites here could give some more concrete suggestions?). A lot of this is stuff I was not always fully aware of - but I picked them up along the way when interacting with kids. That, and also family/friends giving me pointers on how to safely support a kid while piggybacking/swinging/etc and how to break a kid's fall, etc.
posted by aielen at 10:12 AM on May 30, 2019
Some examples of guidelines/tips: When swinging them around, grasp them by their limbs but not their joints (kids are more prone to injury if you hold them by their joints when playing around). When carrying them on your back, make sure there's enough space clearance behind you (so their head doesn't bash against something), and make sure they are safely on the ground when alighting before you release your hold on them. Watch out for sensitive body parts like their head, neck (because this supports the head) and their eyes (esp if they are thrashing or swinging themselves around vigorously). A lot of this is learning-by-doing - I think after awhile you figure out the right amounts of force to use, and you get better at anticipating the trajectory of limbs/heads/torsos etc.
Maybe you can google some more of these guidelines (or maybe other MeFites here could give some more concrete suggestions?). A lot of this is stuff I was not always fully aware of - but I picked them up along the way when interacting with kids. That, and also family/friends giving me pointers on how to safely support a kid while piggybacking/swinging/etc and how to break a kid's fall, etc.
posted by aielen at 10:12 AM on May 30, 2019
Another safe physical thing to do is to pick kids up by their ears. You put your arms under theirs so you are actually lifting them by their armpits, but you grip their ears between your fingertips. You can swing em around a little like that too.
posted by Iteki at 11:26 AM on May 30, 2019
posted by Iteki at 11:26 AM on May 30, 2019
Seconding the "stories" suggestion. Kids are an extremely forgiving audience and love to hear made-up stories, so long as they are far-fetched to the point of ridiculousness. Even the ten-year-olds like this at bedtime (possibly seasoned with bedtime-postponement). They also love stories about when their parents were their age which you probably have some of that you don't usually even think about. So you can be "dish-the-family-dirt-aunt!"
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 6:40 PM on May 30, 2019
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 6:40 PM on May 30, 2019
There are lots of fun games that are physical and fun and that don't involve the kind of interaction you are uncomfortable with - indoor/outdoor bowling, etc. that you can still play with them. I love this sprinkler thing for outdoor water play.
Make up games that involve putting balls into a bin and other similar activities, or putting on a puppet show - check out shadow puppets.
posted by Altomentis at 12:30 PM on May 31, 2019
Make up games that involve putting balls into a bin and other similar activities, or putting on a puppet show - check out shadow puppets.
posted by Altomentis at 12:30 PM on May 31, 2019
This thread is closed to new comments.
BUT!!
They are going to “grow out of” being thrown around long before they grow out of conversations about democracy and reading (unless that stops being provided). You have a special position of being a person with whom they can be calm and curious and conversational. That sort of person is invaluable, especially if “everyone” else is boisterous. You are going to be extra special to one or two of them for valuing the kind of person they are. Be you, be genuine, be “fun” in other ways (I recommend ketchup as ice cream sauce, exposure to slightly age-inappropriate film like 80s kids movies, colorful but officially inoffensive swearing, etc). Be intellectually dangerous.
posted by Iteki at 3:52 AM on May 30, 2019 [21 favorites]