Dating 101
May 29, 2005 4:31 PM Subscribe
Do long distance relationships ever work out?
What factors contribute to the likelihood of the success/failure of this kind of relationship?
What factors contribute to the likelihood of the success/failure of this kind of relationship?
Yes, they do, but not as often as one might like. Just as a point of information, there have been a number of AskMeFi threads on this exact subject; you will find a wealth of anecdotes there.
posted by languagehat at 4:56 PM on May 29, 2005
posted by languagehat at 4:56 PM on May 29, 2005
Yeah they do. The "work out" part is usually moving closer together. If you're not prepared for that then the answer to your question is probably no.
posted by fire&wings at 5:01 PM on May 29, 2005
posted by fire&wings at 5:01 PM on May 29, 2005
yes. I was in a long-distance relationship with my current boyfriend for almost a year before we moved in together. Things that I think contribute to these things working in the short term:
- exit strategy plan. are you ever going to live together? where and when? do you agreeon who moves where?
- sex & togetherness. can you go without sex when you are apart, have sex virtually, or is an open relationship okay with you? Do you have other people to spend time with in your respective homes?
- communication. can you find ways to communicate that make you both feel connected?
- money. can you afford to do the travel, pay the phone bills, and other high costs of living apart?
- compatibility. can you shift from the honeymoonish short times together when you live apart to the day-to-day reality of living together?
Some people just seem to hate long distance relationships because the lack of togetherness, or sex, or having the other person available is just lousy for them. Other people like them because it allows for independence in the relationship, more alone time, etc. It has more to do with the people involved than any specific circumstance, in my experience. I've only seen long distance relationships work out in the long term with older folks who have established lives and families and can spend more money travelling together and maintaining separate residences and visiting often.
posted by jessamyn at 5:07 PM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]
- exit strategy plan. are you ever going to live together? where and when? do you agreeon who moves where?
- sex & togetherness. can you go without sex when you are apart, have sex virtually, or is an open relationship okay with you? Do you have other people to spend time with in your respective homes?
- communication. can you find ways to communicate that make you both feel connected?
- money. can you afford to do the travel, pay the phone bills, and other high costs of living apart?
- compatibility. can you shift from the honeymoonish short times together when you live apart to the day-to-day reality of living together?
Some people just seem to hate long distance relationships because the lack of togetherness, or sex, or having the other person available is just lousy for them. Other people like them because it allows for independence in the relationship, more alone time, etc. It has more to do with the people involved than any specific circumstance, in my experience. I've only seen long distance relationships work out in the long term with older folks who have established lives and families and can spend more money travelling together and maintaining separate residences and visiting often.
posted by jessamyn at 5:07 PM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]
1) Yes.
2) The only one I attempted failed for reasons completely external to distance. The relationship wasn't significantly different apart than it was together, we just saw each other less often, used more stationary and had larger phone and travel bills.
posted by mosch at 5:09 PM on May 29, 2005
2) The only one I attempted failed for reasons completely external to distance. The relationship wasn't significantly different apart than it was together, we just saw each other less often, used more stationary and had larger phone and travel bills.
posted by mosch at 5:09 PM on May 29, 2005
Winging it but here goes:
1) Stability and commitment to the relationship
2) Personal values regarding commitment and honesty
3) Personal fulfillment independent of any relationship
4) Alcohol and drug use (high use as a complicating factor)
5) Amount of time separated/together
6) Quality of other social support systems
7) General ability to delay gratification and manifest impulse control
I am guessing that many long distance relationships rise and fall on the general "maturity" of the partners and as a function of the myriad of little decisions like calling, writing, how evenings are spent, socializing with persons who are sexually and/or romantically interesting, etc.
posted by rmhsinc at 5:11 PM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]
1) Stability and commitment to the relationship
2) Personal values regarding commitment and honesty
3) Personal fulfillment independent of any relationship
4) Alcohol and drug use (high use as a complicating factor)
5) Amount of time separated/together
6) Quality of other social support systems
7) General ability to delay gratification and manifest impulse control
I am guessing that many long distance relationships rise and fall on the general "maturity" of the partners and as a function of the myriad of little decisions like calling, writing, how evenings are spent, socializing with persons who are sexually and/or romantically interesting, etc.
posted by rmhsinc at 5:11 PM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]
Everyone so far has given great answers, so I'll just chime in with some anecdotes:
No - I dated a guy for a couple months, then moved to Japan. He got really clingy, sending me flowers from overseas and talking about marriage, when we hadn't known each other that long. I had no idea when I would leave Japan (it wasn't going to be for at least a year), and I broke it off with him about a month and a half after the move.
Yes - my current boyfriend and I had dated for a couple months (we knew each other for two years prior to dating), and then I had to move to Boston to attend school. We kept in touch, reassured ourselves of our relationship, and we were much more open in our relationship. (Neither of us saw anyone else, but the possibility was there and open for discussion.) Back in October, he moved here to be with me. We've been living together happily since.
posted by ArsncHeart at 5:26 PM on May 29, 2005
No - I dated a guy for a couple months, then moved to Japan. He got really clingy, sending me flowers from overseas and talking about marriage, when we hadn't known each other that long. I had no idea when I would leave Japan (it wasn't going to be for at least a year), and I broke it off with him about a month and a half after the move.
Yes - my current boyfriend and I had dated for a couple months (we knew each other for two years prior to dating), and then I had to move to Boston to attend school. We kept in touch, reassured ourselves of our relationship, and we were much more open in our relationship. (Neither of us saw anyone else, but the possibility was there and open for discussion.) Back in October, he moved here to be with me. We've been living together happily since.
posted by ArsncHeart at 5:26 PM on May 29, 2005
In my case, yes. My wife (then girlfriend) and I spent our four undergraduate years in different cities. The long distance can breed a very open, communicative relationship. Some things to watch for though:
posted by Popular Ethics at 5:34 PM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]
- When you do get to visit, take care not to stress to much about it being perfect. Nothing can ruin a rare visit more than having it not live up to expectations.
- Similarly, don't get caught up in a mandatory telephone ritual. Making time out of your day just to have nothing to say can make both parties bitter quickly.
- Invest in some teleconference hardware and software. The last year we were apart my wife and I bought laptops. Some nights we just let skype run while we each watched TV or surfed the web, and It felt like we spent the whole evening together.
- Be patient and forgiving. Communication suffers without body-language cues, so there will be many misunderstandings.
posted by Popular Ethics at 5:34 PM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]
I think they work much better if you have a set relationship which becomes long distance, rather than starting one long distance (you never feel like it isn't a "real" relationship). And, yes, an endpoint helps, such as one being in school, but knowing they can return after a certain time, or the other can join them. From what I have seen, indefinitely long distance is more frustrating.
posted by jb at 6:36 PM on May 29, 2005
posted by jb at 6:36 PM on May 29, 2005
Here's a long distance story about a friend of mine.
He and his girlfriend had been college sweethearts, and they were going on eight years. He moved to Washington, DC, leaving her in Southeast Asia with the promise of coming back for her in a year and a half, with a ring and a proposal. They emailed everyday, and had a fuzzy long distance telephone call once a week.
Three months later, she wanted to break up with him. Six months later, he found that she had been cheating on him with a coworker and a mutual friend. He is completely devastated.
Time passes.
Two years later, he's recovered, happy, and he's found someone else. They're long-distance too, but not quite so long a distance that they can't visit each other once or twice a month, and she's committed and faithful to their relationship.
He's tried to keep a friendship with the ex, but the ex rarely emails, and he finds she's starting to learn -- the hard way -- about why coworkers often make for bad love affairs.
B.O.W/O.H.
posted by brownpau at 7:02 PM on May 29, 2005
He and his girlfriend had been college sweethearts, and they were going on eight years. He moved to Washington, DC, leaving her in Southeast Asia with the promise of coming back for her in a year and a half, with a ring and a proposal. They emailed everyday, and had a fuzzy long distance telephone call once a week.
Three months later, she wanted to break up with him. Six months later, he found that she had been cheating on him with a coworker and a mutual friend. He is completely devastated.
Time passes.
Two years later, he's recovered, happy, and he's found someone else. They're long-distance too, but not quite so long a distance that they can't visit each other once or twice a month, and she's committed and faithful to their relationship.
He's tried to keep a friendship with the ex, but the ex rarely emails, and he finds she's starting to learn -- the hard way -- about why coworkers often make for bad love affairs.
B.O.W/O.H.
posted by brownpau at 7:02 PM on May 29, 2005
I long-distanced someone London - San Francisco. It was a great great experience, but mostly because the long distance meant we packed so much into the little time we had together - and of course we had a lot of time in between to do the planning.
Yes, absence undoubtedly does make the heart grow fonder (or do we just want what we cannot have?) - but once the absence is removed from the relationship, regrettably that same heart can grow mouldy, lazy, complacent, ungrateful....
posted by forallmankind at 7:40 PM on May 29, 2005
Yes, absence undoubtedly does make the heart grow fonder (or do we just want what we cannot have?) - but once the absence is removed from the relationship, regrettably that same heart can grow mouldy, lazy, complacent, ungrateful....
posted by forallmankind at 7:40 PM on May 29, 2005
They can work.
But everyone has their own parameters, and it's up to you whether you think they would work in your situation.
My boyfriend and I were together...knew we were going to be together for a long time, and then unexpectedly he ended up 3 hours away for his medical residency (post PhD). We immediately decided that our relationship was the most important aspect... and tailored our next 1.5 years around that. We spent 1.5 years apart, but by 0.75 yrs we knew that eventually I would be in NYC (I found a job easily) so it was doable.
BUT that was because I was willing to compromise my career (I am a research scientist...I figured a couple of years was make-up-able..given I'm good).
Hence, it was all about career for us. But....to be honest I would have given it all up for him (he doesn't even know that) because he is awesome. (And I speak as someone with a 185 IQ and a PhD in Dev. Neurosci. ) Because he makes me happy. So I dunno. i know he would
do the same for me (and will, when we move to New Zealand in 2007).
Dude, all I'm saying, longwindedly, is, be prepared to make sacrifices. But it can be worth it. If you're sure about it.
posted by gaspode at 8:57 PM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]
But everyone has their own parameters, and it's up to you whether you think they would work in your situation.
My boyfriend and I were together...knew we were going to be together for a long time, and then unexpectedly he ended up 3 hours away for his medical residency (post PhD). We immediately decided that our relationship was the most important aspect... and tailored our next 1.5 years around that. We spent 1.5 years apart, but by 0.75 yrs we knew that eventually I would be in NYC (I found a job easily) so it was doable.
BUT that was because I was willing to compromise my career (I am a research scientist...I figured a couple of years was make-up-able..given I'm good).
Hence, it was all about career for us. But....to be honest I would have given it all up for him (he doesn't even know that) because he is awesome. (And I speak as someone with a 185 IQ and a PhD in Dev. Neurosci. ) Because he makes me happy. So I dunno. i know he would
do the same for me (and will, when we move to New Zealand in 2007).
Dude, all I'm saying, longwindedly, is, be prepared to make sacrifices. But it can be worth it. If you're sure about it.
posted by gaspode at 8:57 PM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]
One of the best ways I've seen it put is that long-distance relationships sometimes manage to work in spite of the distance, but certainly not because of it. The ease with which misunderstandings can grow when you mostly talk over phone or email, the fact that short visits are like honeymoons and not like living with someone [quirks and all] day in and day out, the financial stresses of making it work, the lack of sex if an open relationship isn't an option... long-distance relationships have a lot of complicating factors above and beyond normal relationships [which are often themselves too complicated to manage.] It varies a lot on the people and the situation, of course, but generally it seems that unless both partners are very committed to it [and both are willing to make a fair number of sacrifices for it], there are relatively frequent visits, there's frequent and very open communication, and there's a time limit [the shorter the better] for the 'long distance' part of the relationship, it's a pretty hard situation to make work.
posted by ubersturm at 9:18 PM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]
posted by ubersturm at 9:18 PM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]
My partner and I have done the long distance thing a number of times over the years. The last time was for two years while she went to grad school in another country and I stayed behind and worked. Here’s my bottom line on making it work:
- Trust and commitment.
That is to say, I think long distance relationships can work but I’m not sure about long distance dating.
posted by Staggering Jack at 10:23 PM on May 29, 2005
- Trust and commitment.
That is to say, I think long distance relationships can work but I’m not sure about long distance dating.
posted by Staggering Jack at 10:23 PM on May 29, 2005
Yes, they certainly can, but no, they often do not. A good friend has had a serious long-distance relationship for a long time, and her boyfriend is moving to be with her now. My own relationship has suffered as a result of the long-distance thing. It's not anything dramatic or that involved in breaking our commitment to one another, but we are growing apart. That is probably due to issues in our own relationship, but it's definitely been compounded due to the distance. Things that helped in both cases: same time zone, same coast, one flight away, both in schools/work that were important to us (nobody felt 'stranded'), an end in sight, good communication, frequent visits, common interests, shared experiences outside of our respective cities.
posted by fionab at 11:33 PM on May 29, 2005
posted by fionab at 11:33 PM on May 29, 2005
I have no personal experience but a relative of mine met his wife as a pen pal. He was in Denver and she in Iowa and thay actually wrote letters back and forth. This was like 35 years ago. They stayed married till a couple of years ago when he died and they always seemed pretty happy.
posted by BoscosMom at 11:50 PM on May 29, 2005
posted by BoscosMom at 11:50 PM on May 29, 2005
We met with her in Atlanta in me in NYC. After almost a year of that, she moved to NYC and about a year later we ended up with me in CA and her in NYC for 6 months. We're getting married this fall. Short answer: Yes, it can work.
posted by anildash at 12:29 AM on May 30, 2005
posted by anildash at 12:29 AM on May 30, 2005
My wife and I met while she was living in Seattle, visiting family in Southern California. We maintained a long-distance friendship, and then a long-distance romance, for eight years before she moved in with me. It works if you want it enough.
posted by waxpancake at 1:23 AM on May 30, 2005
posted by waxpancake at 1:23 AM on May 30, 2005
not sure if you classify my relationship as "long distance", but i work away from home 8 days then have 6 back. we also both have to travel abroad for work fairly frequently. so going 3-4 weeks without seeing each other is common.
and it appears to be working quite well. we'd been together for years before starting this kind of lifestyle, so already knew each other well (which, i think, is where this differs from many long-distance relationships). what makes it work? that when we're away from each other we are both busy with work and related activities. that when we're together we try to enjoy that time (meals out, breakfasts and dinners together, etc). trust in each other - that if either person is unhappy about something, they will say so. confidence, after some pretty hard times early on in the relationship, that we can survive pretty much anything. communication both is, and isn't so important. we don't communicate that much (maybe 3 short emails a day, a phonecall a week) unless there's some reason to. if there is a reason, we can sort it out by email and phone - the days of finding a conversation by phone alienating are long gone.
not sure this helps. for us, i think it's just the basic skills you develop in any mature relationship. whereas for many people, the problem is developing those skills while apart.
or what staggering jack said, really.
posted by andrew cooke at 6:14 AM on May 30, 2005
and it appears to be working quite well. we'd been together for years before starting this kind of lifestyle, so already knew each other well (which, i think, is where this differs from many long-distance relationships). what makes it work? that when we're away from each other we are both busy with work and related activities. that when we're together we try to enjoy that time (meals out, breakfasts and dinners together, etc). trust in each other - that if either person is unhappy about something, they will say so. confidence, after some pretty hard times early on in the relationship, that we can survive pretty much anything. communication both is, and isn't so important. we don't communicate that much (maybe 3 short emails a day, a phonecall a week) unless there's some reason to. if there is a reason, we can sort it out by email and phone - the days of finding a conversation by phone alienating are long gone.
not sure this helps. for us, i think it's just the basic skills you develop in any mature relationship. whereas for many people, the problem is developing those skills while apart.
or what staggering jack said, really.
posted by andrew cooke at 6:14 AM on May 30, 2005
gaspode: Dude, all I'm saying, longwindedly, is, be prepared to make sacrifices. But it can be worth it. If you're sure about it.
That's it in a nutshell.
My (now) husband and I internet dated for 4 or 5 months (1999). I moved to Seattle (he was and is in BC) and we long distance dated (150 miles or so, we saw each other every weekend) for a year. By the end of that year, being apart all week was driving us, especially me, mad. Making a long story short, we married at the end of that year (2000) and have been together ever since.
posted by deborah at 7:22 AM on May 30, 2005
That's it in a nutshell.
My (now) husband and I internet dated for 4 or 5 months (1999). I moved to Seattle (he was and is in BC) and we long distance dated (150 miles or so, we saw each other every weekend) for a year. By the end of that year, being apart all week was driving us, especially me, mad. Making a long story short, we married at the end of that year (2000) and have been together ever since.
posted by deborah at 7:22 AM on May 30, 2005
Meh, long distance relationships are pretty much the same as short distance relationships, which is why everyone's reasons for success or failure sound pretty much exactly like the reasons for the success or failure or any relationship.
I lived apart from my girlfriend for the first year we were dating. We saw each other every other week or so and it wasn't ideal but it worked. Then last year I moved in with her and have been commuting from Chicago to Boston (where I lived before) every week for work. This is better but still less than perfect. I don't know. You decide what you're willing to sacrifice and then you make a decision. It's just difficult to know what you're sacrificing until you try it.
In my experience, though, there's usually not much of a decision to make. Either you'll do whatever you can to make it work, or you won't. If you spend your time trying to dictate the terms of the relationship, you'll probably end up failing, but at least you'll have, "It was a long distance relationship, and those are just tough," as an excuse.
posted by MarkAnd at 8:48 AM on May 30, 2005
I lived apart from my girlfriend for the first year we were dating. We saw each other every other week or so and it wasn't ideal but it worked. Then last year I moved in with her and have been commuting from Chicago to Boston (where I lived before) every week for work. This is better but still less than perfect. I don't know. You decide what you're willing to sacrifice and then you make a decision. It's just difficult to know what you're sacrificing until you try it.
In my experience, though, there's usually not much of a decision to make. Either you'll do whatever you can to make it work, or you won't. If you spend your time trying to dictate the terms of the relationship, you'll probably end up failing, but at least you'll have, "It was a long distance relationship, and those are just tough," as an excuse.
posted by MarkAnd at 8:48 AM on May 30, 2005
Not at all unless both people are willing to put the effort into it to make it work. The two times I've been in long-distance relationships, I ended up doing most of the traveling and all of the not-cheating-on-her. Got dumped both times. The last one ended not long after she had moved closer to me — not the sole reason she moved (maybe not a reason at all) but the shorter distance was something we had been looking forward to since when we first started dating, and it should have made things easier for both of us.
I'd never consider entering into another long-distance relationship unless it started out as a normal one and then, somewhere down the line, one of us had to consider a move to another state or whatever. At this point and at my age, the idea of starting to date someone who logistically can't and who otherwise isn't very interested in spending most of her time in the same city where I live doesn't appeal to me at all.
posted by emelenjr at 10:14 AM on May 30, 2005
I'd never consider entering into another long-distance relationship unless it started out as a normal one and then, somewhere down the line, one of us had to consider a move to another state or whatever. At this point and at my age, the idea of starting to date someone who logistically can't and who otherwise isn't very interested in spending most of her time in the same city where I live doesn't appeal to me at all.
posted by emelenjr at 10:14 AM on May 30, 2005
I met my now husband when we were both at college in Massachusetts. People often wonder how we met as he's Icelandic and I'm American, but it's really a truly boring story. We met in the dining hall and started spending time together because he had a good friend who lived next door to me in my dorm.
The typical college relationship turned long distance that summer when he moved back to Iceland. We had both said that we didn't want a long distance relationship, but things took their own course and our relationship was pretty solid after I made a visit here and we started including visits and the relationship in our plans for the future and things inched forward. I visited again in the winter and as spring came and my graduation loomed ahead, we started planning on living together here in Iceland for a year for him to finish his BA and then move together to the US. For this plan to work, we needed to get married, which was a difficult decision to make, but we couldn't face breaking up over the distance.
We were lucky in that there was no real "adjustment period" wherein we had to get used to each other. I worried that having conducted most of our early relationship on the phone that we would get sick of each other in person, but that never happened. We're both pretty easy going and live together quite naturally. If anything, having had the long distance portion of the relationship has made me appreciate living with him and when I'm tempted to get seriously annoyed with something small, I just remember how great of an annoyance it was only to be able to talk to him on the phone.
I don't think I could ever do a long distance relationship again, but it worked out for us. I think the biggest piece of advice that I could give is to talk every day - even though you're apart, if you make each other part of your daily routine, it makes the relationship more stable.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:18 AM on May 30, 2005 [1 favorite]
The typical college relationship turned long distance that summer when he moved back to Iceland. We had both said that we didn't want a long distance relationship, but things took their own course and our relationship was pretty solid after I made a visit here and we started including visits and the relationship in our plans for the future and things inched forward. I visited again in the winter and as spring came and my graduation loomed ahead, we started planning on living together here in Iceland for a year for him to finish his BA and then move together to the US. For this plan to work, we needed to get married, which was a difficult decision to make, but we couldn't face breaking up over the distance.
We were lucky in that there was no real "adjustment period" wherein we had to get used to each other. I worried that having conducted most of our early relationship on the phone that we would get sick of each other in person, but that never happened. We're both pretty easy going and live together quite naturally. If anything, having had the long distance portion of the relationship has made me appreciate living with him and when I'm tempted to get seriously annoyed with something small, I just remember how great of an annoyance it was only to be able to talk to him on the phone.
I don't think I could ever do a long distance relationship again, but it worked out for us. I think the biggest piece of advice that I could give is to talk every day - even though you're apart, if you make each other part of your daily routine, it makes the relationship more stable.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:18 AM on May 30, 2005 [1 favorite]
Yes! Ours is working out just beautifully.
Success: mutual regard, communication, visits at least every couple of months, mutual commitment, ability to address physical needs (open relationship, sucking it up, etc), and above all -- trust. Being stubborn and loving each other a whole freaking lot helps.
Failure: jealousy, not moving forward in the relationship, treating the time apart as less-than-real or not counting in some way or another instead of acknowledging that such a relationship takes a different kind of effort (and therefore not working to find and meet those differences together), not talking
MarkAnd sums this all up very neatly. Long distance relationships are what you make of them, there is no inherent reason they fail or succeed, it's a product of the people involved and how they understand each other (as are all relationships).
More from me (and others) here on how to go about making such a relationship work.
posted by nelleish at 2:27 PM on May 30, 2005
Success: mutual regard, communication, visits at least every couple of months, mutual commitment, ability to address physical needs (open relationship, sucking it up, etc), and above all -- trust. Being stubborn and loving each other a whole freaking lot helps.
Failure: jealousy, not moving forward in the relationship, treating the time apart as less-than-real or not counting in some way or another instead of acknowledging that such a relationship takes a different kind of effort (and therefore not working to find and meet those differences together), not talking
MarkAnd sums this all up very neatly. Long distance relationships are what you make of them, there is no inherent reason they fail or succeed, it's a product of the people involved and how they understand each other (as are all relationships).
More from me (and others) here on how to go about making such a relationship work.
posted by nelleish at 2:27 PM on May 30, 2005
I met my guy at a party in Chicago, where I was (am) living. He was on tour with his band and lived in Massachusetts. We made out in the hallway and exchanged numbers (first time I'd ever done that).
We then spent almost three years visiting each other back and forth from Chicago to MA. Finally, he moved here and we're getting married this fall.
It was incredibly difficult and when he moved we were at our breaking point - but the hard work was worth it - we knew that we were worth waiting for.
It does happen, even if it seems unlikely. If the relationship is worth it, you can stick it out. But eventually, of course, you'll have to get together!
posted by agregoli at 9:04 AM on May 31, 2005
We then spent almost three years visiting each other back and forth from Chicago to MA. Finally, he moved here and we're getting married this fall.
It was incredibly difficult and when he moved we were at our breaking point - but the hard work was worth it - we knew that we were worth waiting for.
It does happen, even if it seems unlikely. If the relationship is worth it, you can stick it out. But eventually, of course, you'll have to get together!
posted by agregoli at 9:04 AM on May 31, 2005
This thread is closed to new comments.
I don't think our relationship would have turned out as well as it did if we didn't have an end time in mind. I have friends who maintained a long distance relationship (with one in CA and the other in NC) successfully by frequent visits and eventual plans to live in the same state, and also friends who were not as successful because they weren't able to have as much in-person time as a relationship really needs.
One thing to keep in mind - there's a definite adjustment period when you go from long distance to everyday - a lot of the times in LD relationships there's a tendency for every vacation or weekend together to be like a little "honeymoon". Everyday is what really puts your relationship to the test - can you stand each other for days, weeks, months on end without wanting to throw your partner out of the window?
posted by cajo at 4:53 PM on May 29, 2005