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Help me find an annoying player name for a point-and-shoot computer game.
September 15, 2006 8:36 PM   Subscribe

Help me find an annoying player name for a point-and-shoot computer game.

So, occasionally I play Unreal Tournament 2004 online. Over the years I've become just slightly better than average, and so to maximize my skills I'm looking for a player name whose sole purpose is to annoy the person who I've run over, shot, detonated or otherwise destroyed.

In the past my player names have tended to run to the absurd: "Madame Bovary", "Orange Julius", etc. So keeping in mind that the average player is likely in the teenager male subset, help me choose a player name that will get under someone's skin, especially after I've wasted them several times in a row.
posted by jeremias to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (67 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
Hmm, you could insult their masculinity with something like "Momma's Boy", "L'il Sweetheart" or something like that, so they have the pleasure of being killed by something sweet and cutesy.

A totally different attack is a name difficult or impossible to scream out in frustration. Even a chain of random letters and numbers would work for that, and would prevent any release for the recently pwnd.
posted by Jilder at 8:41 PM on September 15, 2006


use "reallygay" it really annoys people in BF2.
posted by damn dirty ape at 8:42 PM on September 15, 2006


Clay Akin
posted by 4ster at 8:47 PM on September 15, 2006


You mom's weeping vagina.
posted by bondcliff at 8:47 PM on September 15, 2006


Twinkletoes

Anime_Sucks

Either of those will infuriate 99.9% of the FPS gamer population before you even fire a shot. I like this question a lot and wish you good luck in dealing with those idiots.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:47 PM on September 15, 2006


The Prom King
Rumsfeld
Jacques the Jock
Paula Abdul
Hoosier Daddy
The Librarian
Clearasil
posted by 4ster at 8:58 PM on September 15, 2006


"The Southern Dandy"
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:03 PM on September 15, 2006


Mouthful of Grandma
posted by frogan at 9:04 PM on September 15, 2006


No specific name suggestions, but there's an overwhelming atmosphere of homophobia and misogyny... if you could somehow suggest they were beaten by a gay man, a woman, or a team of both, you'd be all set.
posted by anildash at 9:06 PM on September 15, 2006


big_gay_pedophile_sucka would certainly ruffle a few feathers but I think it would make all the losing you're experiencing even more painful as the 15 year olds with the killer reflexes deride you after schooling you in the game. I don't know how many wins you'd actually acquire with the 2 seconds of distraciton you'd introduce...

Just something to think about. Annoying names might help you pick up a win or two. But they'd also make losing more painful.

If you really want to use your name to pick up wins, I suggest you masquerade as a hot girl.
posted by scarabic at 9:09 PM on September 15, 2006


I used to use "Su Madre". Insulting and classy.

Since I don't do that kind of gaming any longer, you're definitely welcome to use it if you want.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 9:12 PM on September 15, 2006


My roomie used to use "Bun Bun".
posted by SpecialK at 9:13 PM on September 15, 2006 [2 favorites]


By the way, I have no idea whether "Su Madre" is proper Spanish. I took it from the book "Lost Dorsai" by Gordon Dickinson. But I gather that it translates approximately as "Yo Momma!"
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 9:18 PM on September 15, 2006


"Zach Braff"
posted by dong_resin at 9:24 PM on September 15, 2006


"Su" is sometimes considered the formal "your." You could try "Tu Madre" instead.
posted by roomwithaview at 9:49 PM on September 15, 2006


Michael Jackson
Moonwalker
Fat Albert
Liza Minelli's Husband
George Michael
Careless Whispers
Paris Hilton's Poodle
Big Momma
SpongeBob SquarePants
Minnie Mouse
Olive Oyl
Wile E Coyote
Tee-Hee!
Snookums
Flouncing Nelly
posted by evariste at 9:54 PM on September 15, 2006


", like, a thousand ninjas!"

As in "so and so was killed by , like, a thousand ninjas!"
posted by luftmensch at 9:54 PM on September 15, 2006


A friend of mine always used the name "a baby seal"

The only thing better than seeing "You've been killed by a baby seal" or "You killed a baby seal" was seeing people get bent out of shape about it.
posted by ibfrog at 9:59 PM on September 15, 2006 [6 favorites]


"Hobbit Love"
"Katie Couric"
"Anne of Green Gables"
"Huckleberry Finn"
or just
"Your English Teacher"
posted by furiousthought at 10:00 PM on September 15, 2006


Any adorable cat name will do, e.g., "Marmalade McVelvetpaws."

Or how about "ButtPirate37" -- which will lead homophobes to think there must be at least 36 other Butt Pirates out there lurking.
posted by La Cieca at 10:02 PM on September 15, 2006


The Overenthusiastic Teabagger
posted by iconomy at 10:21 PM on September 15, 2006


Disapproving_Father
Janice_the_Secretary
Tommy_Tune
Dame_Bertha_Crumblecakes
Kimmy_Gib-bler
Insufferable_Newb
posted by Iridic at 10:25 PM on September 15, 2006


Pretty_Pretty_Princess.
Barbie
My_Little_Pony

(Nothing's worse than getting wasted by a 6-year old girl.)
posted by chrisamiller at 10:32 PM on September 15, 2006 [1 favorite]


One of the best ones I've seen was TheEntireCountryOfChile. The same guy also played as ItFeedsOnNoodles.

If you want obnoxious, there's always something like |lI||IIl|ll|II||l. In most online games, those three characters are indistinguishable.
posted by CrayDrygu at 10:41 PM on September 15, 2006


TheSchoolJanitorWhoTouchedYou
posted by Kickstart70 at 10:41 PM on September 15, 2006


fapfapfap
an_inferior_player
Mrs. Radley suggests -- and I stress this is all hers -- "A filthy mexican"
posted by boo_radley at 10:47 PM on September 15, 2006


BetterThanU
posted by box at 10:50 PM on September 15, 2006


I was SparkleTits in America's Army.

Some variation on "Your Mamma" is always good since the in-game text for indicating kills is somewhere along the lines of:

SoAndSo was killed by Your Mamma.

Always good for getting under other's skin.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:05 PM on September 15, 2006


I've always liked the ones which are amusing

hundreds of babies
screaming midgets
santa claus
ovulating ovaries

but my favorite is always the simple

Cancer

just because having your computer say, "you were killed by cancer." is obnoxious
posted by sorindome at 11:10 PM on September 15, 2006 [1 favorite]


The best name i ever came across while playing counter-strike...

Seaman Stayne
posted by unexpected at 11:10 PM on September 15, 2006 [1 favorite]


4Q
IOwnUranus
posted by rob511 at 11:13 PM on September 15, 2006


A latino friend of mine used Mrs. Radley's suggestion. I played as "Princess" which got the same results you're looking for. I'd also play as "Janet Reno" as a CT on Counter Strike. Anime_sucks is hilarious.

How about:

k.d. lang
Rudy Huxtable
Mary Lou Retton
Miss Yvonne
Kelly Kapowski
posted by jaysus chris at 11:23 PM on September 15, 2006


Everyone knows there's nothing more annoying than...

"Have A Nice Day!"
posted by Clay201 at 12:18 AM on September 16, 2006


But I think that a close runner-up could be "Snuggles."
posted by Clay201 at 12:19 AM on September 16, 2006


Oh, oh... What about

Bitsy
Bunny
Cookie
or Barbie

And let's not forget "Precious."
posted by Clay201 at 12:22 AM on September 16, 2006


I suggest:

Vince Neil

or

l4m3_w45t3_0f_t1m3
posted by sourwookie at 12:36 AM on September 16, 2006


The Cleveland Browns
posted by evariste at 12:50 AM on September 16, 2006


'his gay lover', uncapitalized, would probably drive teenagers insane.
posted by Malor at 3:27 AM on September 16, 2006 [1 favorite]


Mohammed Atta.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 3:36 AM on September 16, 2006


n00b
posted by strawberryviagra at 3:56 AM on September 16, 2006


tinseltits
posted by funboytree at 4:32 AM on September 16, 2006


Ooooh, a baby seal. That's awesome. Nice work, ibfrog
posted by Jilder at 5:52 AM on September 16, 2006


"Guest account"
posted by Hogshead at 6:09 AM on September 16, 2006


BetterThanYou
posted by blue_beetle at 6:14 AM on September 16, 2006


Osteoporosis
UrOwnIncompetence
APairOfJacks
FinishUrHomework
Gandhi
posted by horsewithnoname at 6:41 AM on September 16, 2006


a fluffy kitty?
posted by digital-dragonfly at 6:56 AM on September 16, 2006 [1 favorite]


My name on COD servers is your gay lover.

"You just killed your gay lover"


posted by disclaimer at 7:10 AM on September 16, 2006


Hoosier Daddy

4ster, I am forced to adore you now.
posted by DWRoelands at 7:34 AM on September 16, 2006


Snowflake
1800VIAGRA.COM
FCC RULES
My Computer
LINUX SUX
YANKEES_SUCK
MNCHSTRUTDSUC
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:13 AM on September 16, 2006


In Battlefield 1942, my buddy used "Someone's Grandpa" as an offensive screen name.

We also used to like logging on as "Teamkiller 2000" but that usually annoyed those on our side more.

Steven C - The proper Spanish is "Tu Madre", which I find to be a delightful suggestion.

An annoying name is only half the battle - some bizzare personality traits could be added to great effect. For instance, it might be fun to log on as "Daikatana_Rules", then getting really defensive about John Romero's work.
posted by EatTheWeak at 8:31 AM on September 16, 2006


PISSED PISSEDOFFERSON.
posted by dontrockwobble at 8:32 AM on September 16, 2006


But "su madre" could work if it's a text like "So and so was killed by...", because then they would be killed by "his/her mother".

Right? It's been a long long time since I attempted speaking Spanish
posted by solotoro at 9:18 AM on September 16, 2006


I'm good at CS so I usually play one of the following to piss people off:

Gay Pride (lots of homophobes on CS)
Pretty Princess
practice more
haha you're dead

or variations of the above
posted by i_am_a_Jedi at 9:50 AM on September 16, 2006


anildash writes "if you could somehow suggest they were beaten by a gay man, a woman, or a team of both, you'd be all set."

Will & Grace?
posted by apple scruff at 11:46 AM on September 16, 2006 [1 favorite]


I'm a fan of "Ennui" or "Hubris." (Or, your own hubris.)

killder_dude17 has been killed by hubris.

Of course, nothing enrages homophobic misogynist teenage male hearts like "Menstruating Lesbian."
posted by generichuman at 11:54 AM on September 16, 2006


"Tu/Su" depends on where you're from. "Su" (as well as formal pronouns and verb forms) is used in Colombia and Costa Rica, while "Tu" forms are used in Mexico. Just depends on your frame of reference.

So, Steven C. Den Beste and Roomwithaview, you're both right.

Everything's more insulting with an 'y tu mama tambien' at the end.
posted by mynameismandab at 11:58 AM on September 16, 2006


Pick a name that is homophonic or identical to one of the in-game voice insults, and then map that insult to a convenient button.

I used to play as "u.horr" for just this reason.
posted by ikkyu2 at 12:41 PM on September 16, 2006


Sexy Grandma
posted by Operation Afterglow at 2:05 PM on September 16, 2006


David Hasselhoff
PonyLover1994
Buttercup
GeorgeBushRox
posted by Operation Afterglow at 2:13 PM on September 16, 2006


Well, I usually use RobotMonkey, but here are a couple I've used in on occation. They tend to fall into a few categories, so I've grouped them...

Annoying cutesy names:
Mittens
Buttons
Chuckles

"Was killed by" type names
siphilus
a sexual mishap
rectal hemorrhaging
SARS
AIDS
his own massive wang (excessive, insincere flattery is
funny)

Religious:
Christ Loves You
Killing is Wrong
Praise Jesus
The Fifth Christ
72 Virgins: Not for You

More general:
YetAnotherStupidKid
LookImAHomophobeToo
JoinTheTaliban
ImGayForYou
YouHaveACuteButt;)
ILoveWhatYouDidWithYourHair

All in all, not particularly funny, but YMMV.
posted by RobotMonkey at 3:08 PM on September 16, 2006


your worst nightmare
that a-hole over there
a kindergarten teacher
screaming hordes
a girl
[insert name of any mass murderer]
seppuku (that's the fancy name for Japanese ritual suicide)
a rampaging super-saiyan

Feel free to dr355 up any of these by using leet.
posted by ilsa at 3:08 PM on September 16, 2006


poopy_pants
snoteater
posted by KRS at 4:18 PM on September 16, 2006


GeorgeWBush
MeowMeowDanielTigerMeow
HelloKitty
CharlesNelsonReilly
LanceBassOwnsYourAss
posted by mattholomew at 4:44 PM on September 16, 2006


Faerie Dust
posted by birdsquared at 5:03 PM on September 16, 2006


I say go with any name an 8 year old girl might pick:

I<3 timberlakebr> PonyGurl
Ballerina42
FieldHockeyPlayer
posted by Rock Steady at 6:53 PM on September 16, 2006


Oops. Perhaps your 8-year-old girl should learn some HTML.

ILuvTimberlake
PonyGurl
....
posted by Rock Steady at 6:54 PM on September 16, 2006


Hillary Clinton
posted by Phatty Lumpkin at 9:27 PM on September 16, 2006


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