"Inconceivable!"

September 11, 2005 11:58 PM

What words do people use that consistently make you cringe and wonder if they understand what they are saying?

The spelling peeve question a couple days ago was very interesting and got me thinking about advanced word usage. I'm particularly interested in words which may enjoy some common usage, but which people just don't seem to understand. Perhaps they are just wrongly used in general, or are foolishly chosen by people trying to look intelligent.

posted by Invoke to writing & language (241 comments total)

"virtually"

I know that common usage does allow it to mean "nearly", but it is such a great word when its pure meaning is understood.

Dictionary.com: "in essence or effect but not in fact; "the strike virtually paralyzed the city"; "I'm virtually broke"

I think it is particularly useful word for the internet and computing. "Virtual Worlds", "Virtual representation", etc. The common usage of "a fancy word for almost" always rubs me the wrong way.
posted by Invoke at 12:03 AM on September 12, 2005

literally -- "He literally ripped my head off!" Um, no, he didn't.

electrocute -- "I electrocuted myself working on my TV!" Um, no you didn't. Electrocute = electric + execute (as in KILL). If you're still alive, by definition you weren't electrocuted.
posted by kindall at 12:08 AM on September 12, 2005

Islamofascism or Islamist. Also, semantics when it's used to mean pedantry.
posted by Jenga at 12:10 AM on September 12, 2005

Meme. Paradigm (shift).
posted by NekulturnY at 12:15 AM on September 12, 2005

Also: grammer, when they're trying to say "grammar". (just kidding!)
posted by NekulturnY at 12:16 AM on September 12, 2005

"I'm going to try and call her."

Apparently, you're going to try and you're also going to call her. However, we are left to wonder what it is that you will try to do, as you don't specify.

Perhaps you meant "I'm going to try to call her"?

Let's see, what else...

"Irregardless" always kills me.


The misuse of quote marks, particularly on signs which are presumably produced by people who are paid, you know, more than minimum wage for their work. Serving "fresh" eggs!. "Honest" salespeople . Okay. So your eggs are not actually fresh, though you call them that. Strange thing to admit in your advertisment. And you call your salespeople "honest" when in fact they are not? Wow. Maybe we should contact local law enforcement officials regarding your business. Or at least the BBB.

Oh, and in the bdsm community, folks don't seem to understand that there's a difference between "dominant" and "dominate." You'll see people describing themselves as "a 35 year old dominate with ten years of experience." Drives me right up a wall every single time.
posted by Clay201 at 12:24 AM on September 12, 2005

What bugs me are words that, due to common misuse, eventually take on the new (incorrect) meaning. I know, I know, that's how language evolves, but...

Anyway, a few that come to mind are fortuitous, effete, and presently.
posted by rob511 at 12:27 AM on September 12, 2005

People who use "beg the question" incorrectly. Don't use the phrase if you don't understand what it means!

Also, people who say "I could care less."
posted by Justinian at 12:34 AM on September 12, 2005

supposebly - I hear it everywhere.
posted by wsg at 12:38 AM on September 12, 2005

"Penultimate" used as a super-intense version of "ultimate", or as a synonym for "exemplary".

And while pronouncing "patina" as pa-TEE-nah is technically not wrong, it really pisses me off.
posted by Vervain at 12:47 AM on September 12, 2005

I second the vote for "meme". As many as there are people who use it without understanding it's meaning, even more of them have no idea how to properly pronounce it. Hint: it's not pronounced "me+me".
posted by RoseovSharon at 12:48 AM on September 12, 2005

"a tad bit".
posted by influx at 12:52 AM on September 12, 2005

Along with registering my approval for paradigm and the phrase 'beg the question,' I feel I should contribute the word 'fallacy.' It means a logical argument that seems convincing at first, but ultimately is not. A classic example is: X happened before Y, therefore X caused Y. People did a lot of shopping in early December; this caused Christmas.
posted by sindark at 12:52 AM on September 12, 2005

Awesome -- this one is a lost cause, I know, and I'm guilty of misusing it myself...it's just a shame that a word that was once fit to describe things like the Grand Canyon can now be applied to...pizza.

Ecstasy -- what once could encapsulate a complex and overwhelming feeling of conflicting emotions beyond the realm of reason now just means really really really really happy.
posted by samh23 at 12:54 AM on September 12, 2005

blog
posted by angry modem at 12:56 AM on September 12, 2005

"Legos"

Years ago, a guy in my class did an oral report about "Sheeps". It was very jarring to listen too (He had an excuse though, English was his second language.)

A few years ago, I moved to North America, where people very commonly do the same jarring error when talking about Lego. It's pretty much unheard of outside North America, but here it's so common it's bascially an accepted form.
posted by -harlequin- at 1:02 AM on September 12, 2005

Although I'm deeply amused by those who insist there is some monolithic thing out there called "proper English", I will confess that some phrases and usages send me into a momentary petite mal. I don't question the users intelligence; as a practitioner of Zen Linguistics I just wonder how such usage came about. Case in point: When I answer a switchboard from time to time, I get an unusally high number of people asking me to "contact" them to someone or another. "Proactive" still strikes me as a frivolous word (though pedants have gone through Herculeans gyrations to rationalize it to me). In the end, the only words that really push my buttons are not the so-called grammatical errors -- but political euphemisms.
posted by RavinDave at 1:05 AM on September 12, 2005

It really gets under my skin when someone says "irrelevant" and means "irreverent".
posted by evariste at 1:10 AM on September 12, 2005

"Borrowed" for "lent" also bugs me, and it seems to be getting more and more common. You didn't borrow something to someone, you lent it to them!
posted by evariste at 1:12 AM on September 12, 2005

I just noticed the title. Ha ha! That one never bothered me before, but will now bother me for the rest of my life. Thank a lot ;-)
posted by evariste at 1:12 AM on September 12, 2005

Sweet -- OK for the kids, but when it started appearing in ads.
posted by phewbertie at 1:13 AM on September 12, 2005

Thanks
posted by evariste at 1:15 AM on September 12, 2005

ha ha - awesome's a great one: an awesome pizza indeed!

How about "eclectic?" From dance music, to clubs, to cuisine, it's become an inveterately abused word that simply means, "I have no idea what I'm talking about...".

On preview: "proactive" is born of the devil
posted by forallmankind at 1:16 AM on September 12, 2005

You know what really gets me? People who borrow foreign phrases improperly. Penultimate is the most common (even though I've caused a bit of controversy with my definition), but here's some others that get me:

* in memorium or in memorian
* etc. when they mean et al.
* et tu, Brutus
* Deus meam (yes, someone actually used that on a forum)

But most "improper" English usage doesn't bother me (any more). I just find it more curious than anything else. I guess that's what you get when you spend more time looking at all the oddities in the language over the centuries.

(ohh... and I don't see what is wrong with the title)
posted by sbutler at 1:18 AM on September 12, 2005

(Ummm ... what's wrong with "Thanks", evariste?)
posted by RavinDave at 1:18 AM on September 12, 2005

i dont think people who use these phrases are foolishly trying to look intelligent, the communication has been made, and everyone knows what is meant, whether its technically correct or not

youre the ones on the trying-too-hard high horse
posted by Satapher at 1:18 AM on September 12, 2005

(Ooops ... nevermind. I see you were correcting an earlier post.)
posted by RavinDave at 1:21 AM on September 12, 2005

It really bugs me when politicians who want to create new entitlements-by definition, current-account spending-pretend it's an "investment", but that's not an honest mistake, it's deceitful and disingenuous.
posted by evariste at 1:21 AM on September 12, 2005

Satapher: we might be on our high horses, but up here we can see you on yours ;-)
posted by forallmankind at 1:22 AM on September 12, 2005

sbutler-a lot of people call things inconceivable that are, in fact, perfectly conceivable. "A nuclear exchange with the Soviets would eradicate our major cities? Inconceivable!", to contrive an example. "The nature of God is inconceivable" is more like it.
posted by evariste at 1:24 AM on September 12, 2005

People thinking it's trendy to signify thousands using metrics, when they don't actually understand how to do so.

Eg:
"Unreal Tournament 2k4"
"Madden 2k5"

This stuff is strictly defined - the k denotes the multiplier (thousand) and the (decimel) point at which to multiply. Aeroplanes fly because there is no other correct way to interpret this.

2k5 means 2.5 thousand, ie 2500.

Game publishers clearly know this, as the official publibations were always correctly titled (eg "Unreal Tournament 2004"), but more recently, I'm pretty sure I've seen semi-official and possibly official materials bow to the popularity of the error.
posted by -harlequin- at 1:25 AM on September 12, 2005

Irony does not mean "faintly amusing and/or annoying" however much some people may want it to.
posted by Hartster at 1:28 AM on September 12, 2005

Ohhh... and I'm currently torn about the pronunciation of forte.
posted by sbutler at 1:30 AM on September 12, 2005

Ooh! People who say "My position is 360 degrees from yours". You mean 180 degrees, because 360 brings you back where you started.
posted by evariste at 1:34 AM on September 12, 2005

I really hate when people refer to "the verbiage" when they simply mean "the wording/phrasing", "the copy", "the writing" or "the text". When I hear "verbiage", I hear a very negative word, but people casually toss it around, not realizing that it's quite a derogatory term.

What's wrong with a neutral term like "the text" or "the piece" or "the copy"? I can't help but feel insulted if "the verbiage" is my own work, even though I know they just don't know what the word means.
posted by evariste at 1:42 AM on September 12, 2005

I so totally second awesome!

(Oh, and totally, too.)

Also:

- The less/fewer distinction (a lost cause).

- "Going forward" and a list of management bullshit we've all heard and loathed before.

- "Client", when used to refer to someone who supplies or provides a good or service. I've seen it used this way only rarely, generally by management types who tend to incorporate the known universe into their definition of "stakeholders" (another peeve).

- "Hopefully", as in "Hopefully, the pizza will be awesome", instead of "I hope the pizza will be awesome". People, the pizza is not going to be awesome in a hopeful manner. It might be cheesy, though.
posted by bright cold day at 1:43 AM on September 12, 2005

"From whence".
posted by evariste at 1:47 AM on September 12, 2005

"Wherefore".
posted by evariste at 1:48 AM on September 12, 2005

I'm not sure if this counts, but "discombobulated" always stops me in my tracks - it's such a ridiculous sounding word that I always think whoever's crowbarring it into a sentence is trying to impress me; and I get all... discombobulated....
posted by forallmankind at 1:50 AM on September 12, 2005

Oooh, ooh, teacher, pick me! I've got another one, and it's a double: the word model.

Apparently, there are no longer any female models: they've all become supermodels. And a man who models is always a "male model," as though he could be another kind.
posted by rob511 at 1:54 AM on September 12, 2005

Affect/effect.
posted by evariste at 1:55 AM on September 12, 2005

I really hate when people refer to "the verbiage" when they simply mean "the wording/phrasing", "the copy", "the writing" or "the text". When I hear "verbiage", I hear a very negative word, but people casually toss it around, not realizing that it's quite a derogatory term.

Oddly enough, verbum is the latin word for word.

"Hopefully", as in "Hopefully, the pizza will be awesome", instead of "I hope the pizza will be awesome". People, the pizza is not going to be awesome in a hopeful manner. It might be cheesy, though.

Jesus wept. Is this copied straight from S&W? Because Lord knows, this is the only example where an English word takes on a meaning other than the one its construction suggests.
posted by sbutler at 1:56 AM on September 12, 2005

nuculurr
posted by fire&wings at 1:57 AM on September 12, 2005

I don't like the word cogent. Nothing to do with this thread, it just got me thinking about words that I'm not fond of. I also dislike "snarky".
posted by evariste at 2:02 AM on September 12, 2005

To "go and" do something.
posted by shoos at 2:03 AM on September 12, 2005

I find this is sometimes the underlying cause of these mistakes:

Person X assumes no-one really cares when he makes a certain error, because it doesn't bother him in the slightlest when someone else makes the same error. Thus, he doesn't bother to cease making the error.

This terrible assumption leads to unforgettable (and horrifying) moments, for it runs unaware of how much the perception of the same error changes person to person, social group to social group. One man's "It's probbaly not completely right, but no-one cares" is another man's "WTF? How could someone make it through school without learning that? Does he have a learning disability?"

Many times, I seen someone do something that lowers (or utterly destroys) the opinion their peers have of them because they made the mistake of thinking that a shockingly basic error (to their peers) was something everyone did and overlooked as normal. Instead, people were, well, shocked.

Having seen the ugly ugly results of complacency over what seems to the person like a trivial nothing, I figure it's better to be paranoid enough to try to learn not to make mistakes, even if they seem trivial.

But I make exceptions for writing on the internet, 'cos you guys are unlikely to be hiring or firing me any time soon :-P
So I'm person X today :-)
posted by -harlequin- at 2:04 AM on September 12, 2005

I was about to say "font of knowledge" for "fount of knowledge", but apparently I'm mistaken. It still sounds wrong, damn it!
posted by evariste at 2:04 AM on September 12, 2005

"they" - in reference to [insert marginalized group of people here].

It's been particularly frustrating recently, due to Katrina.
posted by dsword at 2:07 AM on September 12, 2005

When people mean "deprecate" and say "depreciate" also depresses me.
posted by evariste at 2:13 AM on September 12, 2005

Error ladder rankings, by Google:
"NFL 2k5" - 373,000 hits
"ATM machine" - 755,000 hits
"go and do" - 1,310,000 hits
"from whence" - 2,610,000 hits
and so on. I was just curious :-)
posted by -harlequin- at 2:23 AM on September 12, 2005

"a myriad of [things]", rather than "myriad [things]"
"try and do something" rather than "try to do" (which is only so painful because I'm guilty of it)
"troll" for opponent
posted by NinjaPirate at 2:27 AM on September 12, 2005

I have a thing about "erstwhile," mostly because I used it incorrectly for many years myself. I had to have picked that up from somewhere else.

Incidentally, sbutler & evariste, the title more than likely refers to The Princess Bride, since that's the first word that came to mind when I read the question. "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
posted by Moondoggie at 2:27 AM on September 12, 2005

A recent favorite of my was from the Michael Jackson juror, Tammy Bolton, who lamented: "I don't think the mother inflicted good values in her kids and that made me have a hard time believing anybody in the family ... ".

I suspect she meant inculcate, or something less stoopid.
posted by RavinDave at 2:39 AM on September 12, 2005

Proactive (as opposed to reactive?) is actually "active".
Burglarize should be "burgle".

"meme" is particularly wank.
posted by Pericles at 2:47 AM on September 12, 2005

Moondoggie-ah. I've never seen that, although everyone I know has. I guess one of these days I'll rent the damn thing.
posted by evariste at 2:51 AM on September 12, 2005

Nauseous.
posted by granted at 3:12 AM on September 12, 2005

"but yet"
posted by granted at 3:13 AM on September 12, 2005

"For all intensive purposes"

I have a coworker who is very, very fond of saying this.
posted by makonan at 3:14 AM on September 12, 2005

'Momentarily'

Many yanks use this incorrectly. It actually means 'for a moment', but often Americans use it to mean 'in a moment'. e.g: 'I will push the button momentarily' means 'I will push the button for a moment' not 'I will push the button in a moment'.

Also, the other one that pisses me off is people saying 'insure' when they mean 'ensure'.
posted by pollystark at 3:23 AM on September 12, 2005

What on earth is wrong with "go and" do something? That's UK/Commonwealth usage. To us it sounds just as bad when Americans leave off the "and" part.

I keep hearing people on TV and in movies saying they've got a "possible suspect", which drives me insane.

A suspect is someone who has possibly comitted a crime. What's a possible suspect? Someone who might possibly have possibly comitted a crime?

I had a colleague who constantly confused similar-sounding words. He'd say "absconded to a project" instead of "seconded" for instance, or "tactile" instead of "tangible". He does this all the time. What drives me most crazy is I seem to be the only one who notices. What do the other people think he's talking about?
posted by AmbroseChapel at 3:32 AM on September 12, 2005

Liberal
Conservative
Preplanning (or pre- anything else when you're actually doing the thing - preboarding, prescreening, etc.)
Utilize
Fact (often used to refer to an opinion)
75% of the words that weathermen use ("as we head into the evening hours;" "overnight tonight")
Proactive (because it can't be maligned enough)
Preventative
Refugee
With a single click (almost always a series of clicks, but it's only the last one that matters, apparently)
Decimate
Mandate
Attitude

I don't have a problem with "go and." Weren't we supposed to "Go forth and multiply?" The multiplying part eventually became a problem, but not the and part.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:42 AM on September 12, 2005

functionality for function

methodology for method

productize for produce

(Any number of "-ize" ending for verbs that didn't need them, actually.)
posted by madman at 4:03 AM on September 12, 2005

"a myriad of [things]", rather than "myriad [things]"

Myriad is noun and adjective, so both uses are fine. In terms of style, I do prefer the latter, though.
posted by nthdegx at 4:09 AM on September 12, 2005

Alternate when used to mean Alternative
Beg the question used by people who don't know what it means
Misuse of amount/number and less/fewer ("less calories" ARGH!)
e.g. and etc. used together
i.e. when used to mean e.g.
literally when used to mean figuratively

And I just hate the word utilize. I know it's not wrong, but it's a useless word. Why not just say "use" and save two syllables?
posted by duck at 4:12 AM on September 12, 2005

Calvary vs. cavalry . . . argh!

Also, "Let's chat 'live'." But then, in the mgmt consulting world, the annoying made-up words and phrases are nearly endless.
posted by lazywhinerkid at 4:20 AM on September 12, 2005

Oh, yes, all that engineerese: functionality, utilize, prioritize, jargonize!
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:26 AM on September 12, 2005

Lost cause: enormity. Still worth fighting for: disinterested.
posted by teleskiving at 4:32 AM on September 12, 2005

Yes, I know, language is fluid and no one has the right to impose rules as long as the message is understood. These are aesthetic judgements and they hurt my ears.

I wish I would have gone.

Also, "If I was" for "If I were". (Unreal condition takes subjective mood. "If I were a rich man...")

For misused hopefully, how about hopedly? (Somehow I doubt it will catch on)

Hung for Hanged

"By rights she should be taken out and hung
For the cold blooded murder of the English tongue"

(Lerner knew better, but couldn't bear to give up the rhyme. Story is that Noel Coward was the first to call him on it)
posted by IndigoJones at 4:59 AM on September 12, 2005

I don't see what you're arguing about this...

It's a mute point.
posted by ph00dz at 5:03 AM on September 12, 2005

I always found the use of "invest" to mean "to spend" odd. Example: Car owners will have to invest more at the pumps to fill their cars.

However, the usage is probably correct.
posted by malp at 5:23 AM on September 12, 2005

I thought the e in i.e. was for exemplum, so I never thought about it until now.

shows what years of latin did for me!
posted by evening at 5:25 AM on September 12, 2005

supposebly - I hear it everywhere.

Supposably isn't necessarily wrong.
posted by McIntaggart at 5:36 AM on September 12, 2005

"i.e" when they mean "e.g."
posted by jamesonandwater at 5:40 AM on September 12, 2005

"Unctuous" used as a positive adjective in food writing. "Fraught" used on its own and not as filled with something unpleasant.
"Female" used as a noun.

According to several online dictionaries, these are proper usages, but they still set my teeth on edge. (Female what?)
posted by brujita at 5:48 AM on September 12, 2005

People in MMORPGs who say "rouge" instead of "rogue".
posted by Skyanth at 5:52 AM on September 12, 2005

Using 'comprise' as in the following:

"The team was comprised of eleven players."

Brrrrr. It ought to be:

"The team comprised eleven players."

'Comprise' means 'to consist of'. Thiink of it as a synonym for 'contain'. Please please please never say "X is comprised of Y". It's just wrong.

(I also hate it when people say things like "SAT tests" and "VCR recorders" and "ATM machines".)
posted by jdroth at 5:52 AM on September 12, 2005

Harlequn, try your error ladder on 'comprised of'. I'll bet it grabs a top rung.
posted by jdroth at 5:54 AM on September 12, 2005

It's amazing how many of the uses described as "incorrect" here are sanctioned by many dictionaries and usage manuals. But clearly¹ random posters on MetaFilter know more than the language scholars who created these materials.

¹ Uh-oh, a disjunct adverb! Bright cold day doesn't like those so I better stop using them.
posted by grouse at 6:13 AM on September 12, 2005

Ditto on some of the political terms mentioned above, but I will also add: Reactionary. This word is so frequently and brutally misused that I think it has finally lost its meaning.

Also, technno or business babble sends me over the edge:

* taxonomy
* repurpose
* to task someone with something
* to multi-task as it refers to people
* synergistic
* to drill-down or to shore up
* take this off-line
* use of the expression "to flush out" when what is intended is is "to flesh out"... in other words, to flesh out the requirements, meaning to add more context and detail... not to chase a gopher out of hole with a garden hose, which has nothing to do with any requirements.

And, slightly off topic, people who pronounce the word across as "acrossed".

This is something that I noticed in the Pacific Northwest, but nowhere else. Very odd.
posted by psmealey at 6:14 AM on September 12, 2005

"As per" - as opposed to just "per"

Use of nouns as verbs, e.g., "Dialogue"

My wife say umbiblical for umbilical, which cracks me up.....
posted by Pressed Rat at 6:15 AM on September 12, 2005

It's amazing how many of the uses described as "incorrect" here are sanctioned by many dictionaries and usage manuals.

For example?
posted by jdroth at 6:16 AM on September 12, 2005

sbutler--the title is taken from the movie the Princess Bride. One of my favorites.

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
posted by adamrice at 6:16 AM on September 12, 2005

"Incent" as a back-formed verb from the noun "incentive."

"Incentivize" is just as bad. The word they're looking for, of course, already exists: "enchant," which is where "incentive" comes from.
posted by jimfl at 6:21 AM on September 12, 2005

Deplaning for when you get off a aeroplane.

I don't care if it is a real word or not - it needs to die.

Deplane is at determinal!
posted by schwa at 6:21 AM on September 12, 2005

The word they're looking for, of course, already exists: "enchant," which is where "incentive" comes from.

Is that true? I had always thought the proper form was "incite", but I could be wrong. When I use that word, and people look at me sideways, I usually fall back on the wordier: "provide incentive for", but I had never considered "enchant".
posted by psmealey at 6:29 AM on September 12, 2005

I second 'literally' and 'verbiage'.

How about people that use 'less' when they mean 'fewer'?

Or my wife who omits the 'to be' in the phrase 'needs to be fixed' or 'needs to be cleaned'? These phrases become 'needs fixed' and 'needs cleaned'


//Wild_Eep works with marketing people and hears most of these other entries at least twice a week.

///goes and looks up spelling thread...
posted by Wild_Eep at 6:31 AM on September 12, 2005

The one that makes me yell is "should of/could of/would of" instead of "should HAVE (et al)".

Stupid contractions ruining english.
posted by softlord at 6:32 AM on September 12, 2005

Moot--it means it *is* open for discussion or an argument.
posted by 6:1 at 6:37 AM on September 12, 2005

patriotism, most people who use don't have any.
posted by substrate at 6:46 AM on September 12, 2005

Cutting off your nose despite your face.
Pre-madonna.
posted by monkey closet at 6:47 AM on September 12, 2005

"Footwear" for shoes

Rightsizing for firing people.
posted by lukemeister at 7:00 AM on September 12, 2005

Decimate -> to kill 10% of a group. Not to completely annihilate said group.

Also:

• Perhaps the fish will go for the bait; you can only wait with bated breath.


• Pour yourself some tea and pore over a good book.


• Hair replacement infomercials are frequently harebrained schemes.


• Lounge in the chaise longue.

&c:

• I feel restive waiting for the restless crowd to abate.


• It was fortuitous that I ran into my ex-girlfriend today. It was fortunate that my current girlfriend wasn't there.

posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:12 AM on September 12, 2005

6:1:Moot--it means it *is* open for discussion or an argument.

moot
adj.
1. Subject to debate; arguable: a moot question.
2. 1. Law. Without legal significance, through having been previously decided or settled.
2. Of no practical importance; irrelevant.

I have always seen moot used to denote an issue which can be argued but shouldn't because it doesn't matter.
posted by Who_Am_I at 7:13 AM on September 12, 2005

pollystark:
Straight from Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: mo·men·tar·i·ly
Pronunciation: "mO-m&n-'ter-&-lE
Function: adverb
1 : for a moment
2 archaic : INSTANTLY
3 : at any moment : in a moment

Seems you're dead wrong on this one.

My pet peeve is "effected" for "affected". Riles me up every time.
posted by splice at 7:13 AM on September 12, 2005

My hipster friend calls anything strange "meta___".

Apoligies to MeFites.
posted by zardoz at 7:15 AM on September 12, 2005

It really bugs me when politicians who want to create new entitlements-by definition, current-account spending-pretend it's an "investment", but that's not an honest mistake, it's deceitful and disingenuous.

The peeves I like to hunt down and kill so I can wrap myself in their furry carcasses and do the peeve dance are hyphens, dashes, em-dashes, and en-dashes that have been mis-used.

(teasing evariste)
posted by Mo Nickels at 7:20 AM on September 12, 2005

lukemeister, I can actually understand the "footwear" thing, as annoying as it may be (oh and it is), footwear could be shoes, sandals, boots, cleats, moccasins, fuzzy bunny slippers, so on and so forth.

The hung/hanged thing always burns me IJ. While most men would do anything to keep from being hanged, many if not most would be overjoyed to be hung.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:24 AM on September 12, 2005

-at- superfluousness..
dilatate for dilate. There are a few more that escape me at present.

Can I have my pet Americanisms peeve dump? (now that's a formidable sentence *cough*)

-smarts
-my bad
-math
-golfing
-word!
-represent!

[I'll accept the middle two by way of compromise]
posted by peacay at 7:26 AM on September 12, 2005

RavinDave, I think she meant "instilled."

My two personal favorites are i.e. when they mean e.g., and eck-cetera instead of et cetera.

I could go on for hours, but I won't.
posted by misterbrandt at 7:28 AM on September 12, 2005

jimfl: While "enchant" and "incentive" derive from similar roots, their meanings have diverged enough that you cannot use "enchant" to mean "provide incentive."

While it's true that "enchant" can mean "to attract and delight," which could be interpreted to mean that one who is enchanting is providing an incentive of some sort, incentives are not inherently good things. For instance, the police provide you with an incentive not to speed—that being that, if they catch you doing it, you will be pulled over and given a ticket. Somehow that seems less than enchanting to me.
posted by cerebus19 at 7:30 AM on September 12, 2005

WRT "momentarily" meaning "in a moment": The word used to only mean "for a moment," but it has over time grown to also mean "in a moment." English is a living language, folks, so sometimes new words get added to it and sometimes old words acquire new meaning. You just have to get over yourselves and deal with it.
posted by cerebus19 at 7:34 AM on September 12, 2005

I always preferred presently to momentarily, common (ab)usage notwithstanding. It sounds more formal, and more formal = more gooder in my book.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:42 AM on September 12, 2005

I'm not a fan of people using "ironic" incorrectly...

All my others have been mentioned - but "literally" is a particular annoying one, which literally makes me slightly annoyed.
posted by benzo8 at 7:42 AM on September 12, 2005

Oh, and peacay, smarts is a perfectly good word when used correctly: to indicate a sharp pain. As in, "Ouch! That smarts!" Sadly, the sort of person that prefers this usage also tends to be the sort that says things like "that's swell" or "whatcha' doin', fella'?"
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:45 AM on September 12, 2005

(You know, when making a post regarding spelling or grammar, there seems to be some law of nature which decrees that one must misspell at least one word in the post. Sheesh.)

Great responses, everyone. Yes, many of the words we're talking about are technically correct, I agree. My example word, "virtually", even directly notes that. What many people posting on this thread are pointing out is that the newer, less precise usage misses something, or loses something. A great example is "disinterested". That is a word not easily replaced without a phrase, and so its loss represents a loss for the language.
posted by Invoke at 7:46 AM on September 12, 2005

The one that makes me yell is "should of/could of/would of" instead of "should HAVE (et al)".

I assume people who say "should of" (which is not a contraction, but a phrase made up by people who were asleep in grade two) mean "should've" (which is a contraction, and fine anywhere where other contractions are acceptable) not "should have."
posted by duck at 7:48 AM on September 12, 2005

Irregardless really irks me.

Also, the misuse of good and well is like nails on a chalkboard to my ears.
posted by necessitas at 7:49 AM on September 12, 2005

English is a living language, folks, so sometimes new words get added to it and sometimes old words acquire new meaning. You just have to get over yourselves and deal with it.

I don't want to be a reactionary here, but I find that discomforting. It's just a little disappointing when you have an excellent, descriptive words that, through continued misuse and laziness their meaning becomes deluded. It's probably inevertable, what you say, but should this sort of thing really be incouraged or incentivized?

;-)
posted by psmealey at 7:49 AM on September 12, 2005

disingenuous.
posted by ifjuly at 7:51 AM on September 12, 2005

The word "penultimate" to mean "really ultimate". That one slays me.
posted by kahboom at 7:54 AM on September 12, 2005

1. People who use a modifier with unique, ie: New Orleans is a really unique city.

2. "Lifestyle."

3. All postmodernist language--tropes, signifiers, etc.

4. Fascist, communist.
posted by LarryC at 7:56 AM on September 12, 2005

Civil_Disobedient, I have no problem using 'smarts' to refer to pain. But -

1. Sharp mental or physical pain. See Synonyms at pain.
2. smarts Slang. Intelligence; expertise: a reporter with a lot of smarts.
It's the slang derivative that annoys me, but I think you knew that :P
posted by peacay at 7:57 AM on September 12, 2005

Utilize - just say use.

Also, model. 99% of the time this word is used it doesn't have to be. Don't use this word unless you are referring to the small model town around a train set.
posted by xammerboy at 7:58 AM on September 12, 2005

And trope is a good word!! and can't really be regarded as being postmodern (or even postmodernist) unless you're aware of some egregious use....

[Latin tropus, from Greek tropos, turn, figure of speech. See trep- in Indo-European Roots.]
posted by peacay at 8:00 AM on September 12, 2005

"intellectually dishonest"..."ad hominem"...people who think they can win debates by using phrases like these.
posted by johngoren at 8:04 AM on September 12, 2005

Compulsive for compulsory, perspective for prospective. Spoken mistakes don't bother me (I'm always tongue-tied), but I cringe when I see them in writing.
posted by Marit at 8:07 AM on September 12, 2005

Ah, and "principal" vs. "principle".
posted by kahboom at 8:10 AM on September 12, 2005

People who say "impact" when they mean "affect" or "effect," e.g. "those who were impacted by Hurricane Katrina" and "it had an impact on them." On my watch nothing is "impacted" except my wisdom teeth.
posted by scratch at 8:13 AM on September 12, 2005

leverage (v.)
posted by Succa at 8:18 AM on September 12, 2005

Anything on a Starbucks sign

"I'd like to order a tall"

GRRRRR
posted by KirTakat at 8:21 AM on September 12, 2005

Irregardless, when people tell me it isn't a word.

Also ain't, again, when people tell me it isn't a word.

If they're good enough for 3 dictionaries, they're good enough for me.
posted by shepd at 8:25 AM on September 12, 2005

I hate when "honorarium" is misused. It is a payment to a professional for services rendered for which there is normally no charge. It is not a gift made in honor of someone or something.

The word "shindig" also puts my teeth on edge. If you're throwing a party in which dancing my occur, then shindig is appropriate. If you're just having people over for dinner, please do not use it. I dispise shindig because in certain settings it is the only word used to indicate a party.
posted by onhazier at 8:25 AM on September 12, 2005

I have always found that most people who describe something as being surreal are actually decribing something which is, in fact, quite real.

I love this kind of thread
posted by Richat at 8:32 AM on September 12, 2005

I'm not annoyed by a lot of these...I use totally, literally, and awesome all the time. Yes, I know this pizza is not literally awesome but it's pretty damn good, and I like being dramatic.

I haven't seen this yet: "gay" as an adjective to describe something that is stupid. As in, "This assignment is gay." HATE IT. Wrong, and offensive, and a lot of kids don't even GET that it's offensive.

Also, with meme...I was annoyed with this when I thought it was pronounced "me+me" and used to describe stupid surveys on livejournal. Now that I know more about the actual idea and pronunciation, it doesn't bother me as much. Which brings me to another point - sometimes I don't know how to pronounce words I only encounter reading online. Anyone else?
posted by jetskiaccidents at 8:34 AM on September 12, 2005

=== "I didn't like that story, because the characters were so one dimensional."

It makes sense for characters to have three dimensions. Such characters have depth. It makes sense for characters to have two dimensions. Such characters are flat. But ONE dimension? The characters are points?

=== I hate it when people on the internet (and teenagers passing notes in class) write like this... You know, they end every sentence with an ellipsis... What is that supposed to mean?... What is the point of it?... People always say, "That's the way I think"... WHAT is the way you think?... You trail off at the end of every thought?... You pause at the end of every thought?... They probably mean stream of consciousness... Well, (a) I don't want to read some unedited stream from your brains and (b) putting "..." at the end of every sentence doesn't somehow join your sentences together into a stream... Sentences are naturally joined together by the simple fact that one follows the other... Some people seem to think "..." adds profundity to their writing... As if writing "If God created the universe, who created God...?" is somehow more profound than, "If God created the universe, who created God?" ... UGH ...

=== "People don't really use just 10% of their brain. That's a myth."

I'm sure the dictionary allows it, but I hate the use of "myth" to mean common mistake, lie, misunderstanding, etc. Myth is such a beautiful word and I would love for it to be reserved for Oedipus, Paul Bunyan, Robin Hood, etc.

=== xFilter. I've always hated mathfilter, mycatissickfilter, harddrivefilter and the like. I thought these were attempts at jokes. If so, they're not funny. But I was told on Metatalk that they were simply a form of tagging. Well, now that we have real tagging, can we put xFilter to bed? While I'm venting about that, I'll say that I'm really sick of googlefu too. Also not funny.
posted by grumblebee at 8:37 AM on September 12, 2005

Oh, and, I have given up using ironic for the most part, because I am so afraid to being part of the problem.
posted by Richat at 8:37 AM on September 12, 2005

A lot of so-called bad usage is because word meanings change over time. That change isn't universal and older people and purists will try to hold off the change. Ain't gonna happen.

Awesome is a perfect example. The correct meaning of awesome is no longer awe-inspiring, but what it means to most people under forty. Something along the lines of great, fabulous, or terrific. Bemoaning that is like bemoaning the fact that people say I feel lousy when they have a cold. It would be silly to lecture people to say I feel lousy only if they are infested with lice, the original "correct" meaning.

There are some word usages, however, that do drive me nuts. I find that most of them are from advertisers or marketing people

Using the word home when you mean house, and especially the word "Townhome". You buy a house. You hope to make the house into your home. Realtors (not real-i-tors) sell houses. A realtor will never, ever, sell a home.

Family Room for what we used to call a den or a living room seems straight ouf of Real Estate Marketing 101.

And I don't know why, but gear in any context other than an actual gear strikes me as phony. If I take up a sport, I don't go to a sporting goods store for gear, but for, stuff, or things, or equipment. I think this may, however, be a regionalism. I've never heard it in New York other than Manhattan, which has a huge percentage of non-New Yorkers living there.

Could care less drives me to contemplate violence.
posted by xetere at 8:49 AM on September 12, 2005

It's just a little disappointing when you have an excellent, descriptive words that, through continued misuse and laziness their meaning becomes deluded.

I think you meant "diluted".
posted by Clay201 at 8:52 AM on September 12, 2005

I HATE "kick butt" as in "let's go kick some butt." When I was a kid, we said "kick ASS." Back then, "ass" was a dirty word. So "kick butt" was the cleaned up version, like "gosh darned" or "heck." Somehow The Man won and "kick butt" became common usage. Now tough guys say it on TV, even though it's now okay to say "ass" on TV. But it always sounds silly to me when a tough drill instructor talks about kicking butt.
posted by grumblebee at 8:53 AM on September 12, 2005

I think you meant "diluted"

I think you missed the joke. Re-read the paragraph.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:08 AM on September 12, 2005

130 comments and no one's mentioned "heighth"? I understand this might be a regional thing, but it makes me want to claw my eyes out. It sounds so utterly ignorant.
posted by peep at 9:10 AM on September 12, 2005

What's heighth?
posted by duck at 9:12 AM on September 12, 2005

Amazing. Everything is amazing nowadays; nobody recognizes that it's no small thing to be amazed. Also, so amazing. There aren't degrees of amazement; you're either amazed or you're not. I blame Felicity for both of these.
Hate as a noun (i.e. technically not incorrect—I looked it up—but hatred is always preferable).
Infer in place of imply and vice versa.
Nearly every piece of 'business' jargon ever.
Irregardless.
They still say Homicide bomber on Fox News when everyone knows perfectly well that they mean a suicide bomber.
posted by willpie at 9:14 AM on September 12, 2005

=== "I didn't like that story, because the characters were so one dimensional."

It makes sense for characters to have three dimensions. Such characters have depth. It makes sense for characters to have two dimensions. Such characters are flat. But ONE dimension? The characters are points?

Hrmm. I never thought of dimension in this sense really referring to spacial dimensions, as much as to 'aspects of character'. A one dimensional character would be a character that really only has one aspect to them; they are a single stereotype with no other characteristics - the screeching harpy, the dumb blonde, the mincing gay man - that exist as set dressing as much as characters.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:15 AM on September 12, 2005

DVD to stand for Digital Video Disc.

I actually saw this given as the right answer on a TV quiz show. I very nearly wrote a letter.
posted by alby at 9:15 AM on September 12, 2005

Such characters are flat. But ONE dimension? The characters are points?

No, such characters are lines. Or at least they have lines. Points have no dimension.
posted by kindall at 9:19 AM on September 12, 2005

"beckon call" to mean "beck and call"
and I see "compermise" ALL the time in personal journals....
posted by nile_red at 9:21 AM on September 12, 2005

Heighth
posted by peep at 9:25 AM on September 12, 2005

What's heighth?

It's how you measure the tallness of your signage.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:25 AM on September 12, 2005

Explicity trust: "I explicity trust my assistant to complete the task."

Exponential: "The river was rising exponentially."

Rate of speed: "He was travelling at a high rate of speed." (Hint: speed is a rate, e.g., miles per hour)

Intoxicated: "I had too much to drink last night. I wasn't drunk, I was intoxicated.
posted by GarageWine at 9:31 AM on September 12, 2005

I'm sure the dictionary allows it, but I hate the use of "myth" to mean common mistake, lie, misunderstanding, etc. Myth is such a beautiful word and I would love for it to be reserved for Oedipus, Paul Bunyan, Robin Hood, etc.

Me too. One of my favorite things is when I have an opportunity to use the notion of creation myths and include the bible. Because, well, it is.
posted by agregoli at 9:31 AM on September 12, 2005

It's amazing how many of the uses described as "incorrect" here are sanctioned by many dictionaries and usage manuals. But clearly1 random posters on MetaFilter know more than the language scholars who created these materials.

Grouse, dictionaries just describe what people do. Save for the usage notes in American Heritage, they don't really care about what's "correct." But I'd bet you'd find a number of these in any usage manual.
posted by dame at 9:32 AM on September 12, 2005

"anxious"

It should denote worry or dread, but people misuse it to indicate excitement or impatience.

I'm pretty liberal about grammar, etc., but people misuse this word all of the time, and for some reason it really bugs me.
posted by lilboo at 9:37 AM on September 12, 2005

People in MMORPGs who say "rouge" instead of "rogue".

God, I want to kill these people. Especially because it's not just a semi-common typo -- many people seem to not even recognize that there is a difference. I also saw a level 60 dwarf priest named "Preist".
posted by dagnyscott at 9:38 AM on September 12, 2005

Annoying Britishism: "orientate." The word is fucking "orient"! And harlequin, "Legos" is a real word in North America. You can hate it, but it isn't incorrect.
posted by dame at 9:39 AM on September 12, 2005

It bothers me when people say "I graduated college..." or "Ms. Spears graduated high school in..."

Technically, your college graduated YOU, but it's easy enough to include the word "from" in there.

I graduated from highschool in 2000. Just so you know.
posted by bonheur at 9:40 AM on September 12, 2005

No, such characters are lines. Or at least they have lines. Points have no dimension.

You're quite right, kindall. Thanks for the correction.

Hrmm. I never thought of dimension in this sense really referring to spacial dimensions, as much as to 'aspects of character'. A one dimensional character would be a character that really only has one aspect to them;

jacquilynne, I see where you're coming from. But (if you know a little geometry), the 1D, 2D, 3D thing creates such a strong image in your mind. 2D is like a piece of paper. It's flat. And you hear people saying, "the characters are so flat." I suspect that 2D characters came from this idea and that it was then bastardized into 1D characters.

This sort of thing happens all the time. "Greatest" means "as great as it's possible to be," but people don't want to settle for that, so they start saying things like "most greatest." I bet 1D character is supposed to mean a character that is even FLATTER than a 2D character. But nothing can be flatter than 2D.
posted by grumblebee at 9:41 AM on September 12, 2005

"Orientate" has made its way across the pond, I'm afraid.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:46 AM on September 12, 2005

I probably shouldn't add anything here because I've abused many a word, but the hung/hanged also rankles me. An English teacher gave the following memorable example:
That man was hung.

I also hate "utilize" with a passion.
posted by Tuwa at 9:48 AM on September 12, 2005

Adding to psmealey's list of irritating business jargon: "on a going forward basis" (what's wrong with "from now on"?)

Also, "webinar" needs to die die die.

What's a better word or phrase for drill down?

I'll second evariste on "from whence" and misused wherefores.
posted by small_ruminant at 9:48 AM on September 12, 2005

Dimensions don't have to be spatial, grumblebee. Maybe they mean the character is developed with only a single characteristic. E.g. he's the most jocktacular jock who ever jocked. Whereas 2D could refer to a character who is broadly but shallowly defined.

/stops talking out of ass.

(On topic. I've given up on "beg the question." "Penultimate" still hurts. "Literally" used incorrectly makes me literally wince. I also hate, when people use commas for no reason.)
posted by callmejay at 9:48 AM on September 12, 2005

Senator Landrieu misused "unprecedented" to describe the response to Hurricane Katrina:

Congress is going to an unprecedented session to pass a $10 billion supplemental bill tonight to keep FEMA and the Red Cross up and operating.

I'm pretty sure Congress has both had sesseions and passed multi-billion dollar supplemental bills.

"Weapons of mass destruction-related program activitives."
posted by kirkaracha at 9:53 AM on September 12, 2005

This could be splitting hairs here... but I think there's a genuine difference between colloquialisms (awesome, amazing, lousy, etc.) and improper usage (I was literally beside myself). There's probably no hard and fast rule for that, but like Potter Stewart I (mostly) know it when I hear it.
posted by psmealey at 9:57 AM on September 12, 2005

Does anyone have a dead horse? 'Cause I'd like to beat it.

2D could refer to a character who is broadly but shallowly defined.

I'm having trouble picturing such a character. I guess we could say that Scooby-do is a 1D character, Scrooge is a 2D character and Lear is a 3D character. But the 2D thing is a little fuzzy in my mind if you mean take dimension to mean "number of traits." I guess it would literally mean that the character has two traits. He's mean AND he's cowardly. I don't think we generally care about shades of characterizations. We just want to know, are the characters Saturday-Night-Live skit characters or are they Chekhov characters? Flat or fleshed out?

But if you take 2D to mean "flat" (like a cartoon character) and 3D to mean "with depth" (fleshed out), everything becomes clear. At least to me. And last time I checked, I ruled the world.
posted by grumblebee at 10:07 AM on September 12, 2005

tow the line.

it's TOE the line, dogg.
posted by fishfucker at 10:13 AM on September 12, 2005

"I've said my piece/peace."
posted by agregoli at 10:16 AM on September 12, 2005

Flaunt for flout, e.g., he was flaunting the law. Television reporters seem to get this wrong a lot, I've noticed.

Gift as a verb.

Wrong pronouns (e.g. "Between he and I")

Fewer for less (and vice versa). Fewer beans, less water. Though idiomatic usage frequently makes even the wrong choice sound (almost) right, e.g. One less bell to answer. Clearly lyricists have a part in the adaptation of wrong usage (see hanged/hung above). Probably a thesis in that for some aspiring linguistic student.

Imply for infer.

Alternatives for options. Sticking to the Latin, you can only have one choice and one alternative (paper or plastic). Beyond that, you have options. Box? Bag? Gunny sack? Shopping cart? (I know this one was lost years and years ago, but it still bothers me.)

Curious language, English. Easy to pick up, nearly impossible to master.
posted by IndigoJones at 10:24 AM on September 12, 2005

wild_eep: your wife must be from pennsylvania? "needs cleaned" seems to be a part of the regional dialect in western penn anyway. maybe parts of ohio too.
posted by joeblough at 10:30 AM on September 12, 2005

Actually, I should recuse myself from any further grammar-related posts. I said "hate with a passion," but you can't hate something dispassionately, can you?
posted by Tuwa at 10:35 AM on September 12, 2005

I don't like the word "dude," but I think this is because I'm too old to understand the way it's currently being used. When someone says, "Dude, you should try some of that pizza," is the "dude" just a friendly sort of title, like a friendlier, more casual form of "Mr."? (I know people use "dude" for women, too.) I always feel like, when someone calls me "dude," they're condescending to me (maybe in a good-natured way). But I'm not sure why I feel this way. My gut reaction to, "Dude, the book you want is on the shelf over there," is "YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!?!?!" Am I crazy?
posted by grumblebee at 10:35 AM on September 12, 2005

I agree with psmealey about colloquialisms. I'd rather chat with someone who says "hopefully" (to mean "I hope") than with a self-appointed grammar cop who has to correct any usage foible they spot.

Still, the one that does make me cringe is "I got bit by a bee." Bees don't bite. Bees sting, goshdarnit, bees STING. That's just bad zoology.
posted by quarked at 10:39 AM on September 12, 2005

Freakin, eff'n -- just say fuckin.' This coy substitute is so stupid in today's world -- everybody knows the f-word, we won't be shocked, just say it!

I hate it when I read that somebody 'lighted' their cigarette. Lit, dammit! (I say read because I only see this in print for some reason. In non-contemporary text.)

Yes, orientate. (shudder)
posted by Rash at 10:40 AM on September 12, 2005

What about "best?" When someone describes something to me as "the best" I'm thinking, "what, in the whole wide world?"

alby: DVD can stand for Digital Video Disc - from Jim Taylor's (the godfather of DVD) DVD FAQ:

What do the letters DVD stand for?
And the official answer is? "Nothing." The original acronym came from "digital video disc." Some members of the DVD Forum tried to express that DVD goes far beyond video by retrofitting the painfully contorted phrase "digital versatile disc," but this has never been officially accepted by the DVD Forum as a whole. The DVD Forum decreed in 1999 that DVD, as an international standard, is simply three letters. After all, how many people ask what VHS stands for? (Guess what, no one agrees on that one either.)
posted by forallmankind at 10:43 AM on September 12, 2005

A gal I work with says, "So, I went acrossT the street...."

And when folks say, "The car needed washed." No. The car needed TO BE washed.

Like nails on a chalkboard, I tell ya!!
posted by SoftSummerBreeze at 10:43 AM on September 12, 2005

Oh, and those to whom every air disaster is a crash. The shuttles didn't crash, they broke up. TWA flight 800 (and for that matter, the Hindenburg) didn't crash, they exploded. In order to crash, you gotta have a collision.
posted by Rash at 10:44 AM on September 12, 2005

"Heighth" is terrible, but just yesterday I heard someone say "weighth". I couldn't understand how anyone could make this mistake.

I also know someone who pronounces "else" as "eltse". This drives me crazy.

Those are pronunciation complaints, though. For some reason I'm bothered by sentences like "If I would have gone outside, I would have gotten wet." Shouldn't it be "If I had gone outside..."? I realize that "would" is conditional, but it gets on my nerves every time I hear it used like that. Maybe I'm wrong.

Thank you, this was therapeutic.
posted by tepidmonkey at 10:47 AM on September 12, 2005

"like"

"I was like no you didnt"

"I was like all depressed and stuff"

Not sure exactly sure where it started but it seems to have been among young people. Maybe it was the Valley Girls.

More and more people use this. Old and young. You might even catch yourself saying it. And if you have a question don't "ax" me.
posted by Justin Case at 10:56 AM on September 12, 2005

ordnance = bombs, ammunition, military hardware
ordinance = a law or official policy
posted by Monk at 10:57 AM on September 12, 2005

Reticent for reluctant.
Renumerate for remunerate.
Vicuna for Vicuña.
posted by horsewithnoname at 11:02 AM on September 12, 2005

I mentioned this in the recent spelling thread, but a general irritant for me is when people needlessly use "big words" when shorter words would be more appropriate and less likely to be misunderstood.

For example, you could say "utilize an excavation implement to maneuver excrement," or you could say "shovel shit."
posted by kirkaracha at 11:05 AM on September 12, 2005

That's interesting kikaracha, but of course you have to beware the opposite: assuming people are just using big words to show off when, in fact, they are using the word that seems most appropriate.
posted by dame at 11:07 AM on September 12, 2005

This morning while speaking to the press in New Orleans, Bush said workers were "dewatering" the city.

I nearly bit right through my pen.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:11 AM on September 12, 2005

Similarly to "penultimate" (above), people use "Quantum" (as in "Quantum Leap") to denote large (radical) change.

A quanta is the smallest discreet change that can be measured.
posted by Crosius at 11:17 AM on September 12, 2005

There are thousands of ways to pronounce etcetera and asterisk, but only one of them is right. (I use asterisk on the phone a lot, and it drives me so nuts I just call it a snowflake, hoping they can't screw that up.)

Decimate.
Et al, i.e., and e.g. If you don't speak enough Latin to know what it means, don't use it. (See decimate.)

Ax instead of ask, or anything with an S in it that ends up with an X they don't need.
posted by unrepentanthippie at 11:34 AM on September 12, 2005

Crosius: but if you were an electron, I imagine the "quantum leap" from one electron shell to another would seem pretty big. Not to mention sudden.

A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:36 AM on September 12, 2005

no one opposes the prevalent term "expresso"? It's bad enough when people SAY it, but when i see it on a menu in a coffeehouse, I barely contain my rage/laughter. When did this country stop caring about proper word usage? What the hell is an "Expresso" anyway and why does it look so much like "Espresso".
posted by Dantien at 11:37 AM on September 12, 2005

"Dewatering" pisses me off too, since everyone knows it's called Unwatering.
posted by Mack Twain at 11:37 AM on September 12, 2005

mr_crash_davis: If we're going to start listing ways Bush abuses and misuses the English language, we'll probably bring AskMeFi to its electronic knees from the sheer volume.
posted by cerebus19 at 11:37 AM on September 12, 2005

Ok so here is a question: does one say "that didn't faze me" or "that didn't phase me"? Because I always assumed the former, but I have seen 3 people on this site today use the latter so I'm doubting myself.

As for things I hate: utilize (with a passion), less/fewer, and 'za for pizza. grrr.
posted by gaspode at 11:41 AM on September 12, 2005

"mr_crash_davis: If we're going to start listing ways Bush abuses and misuses the English language, we'll probably bring AskMeFi to its electronic knees from the sheer volume."

Well, my point was actually that this time he managed to use the right word, but I don't think it was on purpose, which is what made me cringe and wonder if he understood what he was saying.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:44 AM on September 12, 2005

It bugs the hell out of me when an athlete wins a game or tournament or whatever and in the post game interview they say it was "a very humbling experience". A humbling experience would be if they lost the big game but I've heard this spouted over and over again as drivel.
posted by quadog at 11:46 AM on September 12, 2005

no one opposes the prevalent term "expresso"

Holy shit I hate expresso. HATE it. Along with axe (as in, "I axed you a question"), it's like a yellow star of abject stupidity.

I also hate, hate, HATE it when caramel is pronounced "car-mel". You're dropping a syllable, you fucking idiot.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:47 AM on September 12, 2005

psmealey and jimfl,
While I suppose "incite" or "enchant" could be used in place of "incent" or "incentivize", I might suggest a business would be best served to use "entice." Incite connotes violence or rule-breaking. Enchant connotes magic or a hypnotic state. While the note about an incentive having a negative or positive side is well-taken, a business is typically interested in happy-happy joy-joy speak and thus entice might best fit the bill. Just my two grammatical cents.

I'll have to think about the "hopefully" example.
posted by Slothrop at 11:47 AM on September 12, 2005

Now that I think about it, any marketing weasel worth its anthropomorphic salt would suggest that "entice" connotes some duplicity. Hmm...
posted by Slothrop at 11:49 AM on September 12, 2005

emails.
Another case of computer geek language butchery that became commonplace.
heh.
posted by madajb at 11:50 AM on September 12, 2005

Oh, and also when college graduates refer to themselves in the singular as an "alumni". The singular is "alumnus", as in "I am an alumnus of University of X". You went to school to learn that type of stuff, dammit!
posted by quadog at 11:51 AM on September 12, 2005

HATE it. Along with axe

Careful there, Civil. "Axe" is a perfectly acceptable alternate for "ask" within the African-American community.
posted by quadog at 11:57 AM on September 12, 2005

The singular is "alumnus", as in "I am an alumnus of University of X".

Unless, of course, the speaker is a woman, in which case she is an alumna.
posted by cerebus19 at 11:58 AM on September 12, 2005

A quanta is the smallest discreet change that can be measured.
That's discrete change.

The double "is" meme has been going around for about five years now, and it drives me nuts. Highly educated people use it: "The problem is is that..." It's not a pause for thinking time; it's a grammatical error, like pre-programmed, pre-planned, or raise it up a little higher. You rarely, if ever, see it in writing-- psmealey has used it above, but that's likely a cut-and-paste error.

"For free" bothers me. Yes, I know, everybody says it. But "free" means "free of charge", and "for free" is a stupid mix-up with "for nothing".
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:59 AM on September 12, 2005

mr_crash_davis: I understood your meaning. I just thought your post might precipitate a torrent of Bushisms, and hoped to forestall that.
posted by cerebus19 at 12:00 PM on September 12, 2005

Ok so here is a question: does one say "that didn't faze me" or "that didn't phase me"? Because I always assumed the former, but I have seen 3 people on this site today use the latter so I'm doubting myself.

Gaspode, "faze" is correct.


You're dropping a syllable, you fucking idiot.

Civil_D, I bet you (like me) also can't stand it when those fucking idiots ADD syllables: "Kathaleen is a good athalete."

And one more goddam thing: Adding that unnecessary "s" to "all," making "alls." "Alls I gotta do is axe Kathaleen a few questions, eck cetera eck cetera."

*head explodes, cubicle mates look on in horror*
posted by scratch at 12:02 PM on September 12, 2005

I am also frequently astounded by the continued existence of people who spell "lose" with an extra "o". This one was big in the early days of the web and it shows few signs of dying off. It is like the "nucular" of spelling mistakes.
posted by Succa at 12:03 PM on September 12, 2005

I have a million of 'em, but I usually try to let them slide. There are a couple that always drive me nuts, though: saying "I seen" instead of either "I have seen" or "I saw." Also, people who substitute either "I" or "myself" for "me." "Please contact either Bob or myself if you have any questions." "He gave Jane and I invitations to the party." GAAAAHH! My hunch is that it comes from some hypervigilance that using "me" always sounds uneducated or something.
posted by scody at 12:03 PM on September 12, 2005

"Lighted" for "Lit".
Rooms used to be lit.
People lit matches.

Now, for some reason, they've decided that rooms are lighted and in that room, Bob lighted a cigarette.

For all I know, it's technically correct, but it bothers the bejesus out of me.
posted by madajb at 12:10 PM on September 12, 2005

psmealey has used it above

W-GP, I did what to whom? Is there a "double is" in something I wrote above? I can't find if so.

On preview... ditto what scody said. It also bothers me when people misuse subject and object personal pronouns: I/me, she/her, he/him, etc. That one is not a question of snobbery or elitism: unless the schools have given up on this, it's basic third grade english grammar.
posted by psmealey at 12:17 PM on September 12, 2005

In the electronics store, the aisle labeled "Walkmans."

Why? WHY? Is it because the chairman became the chairperson, suddenly the plural of "-man" was forgotten?
posted by Rash at 12:18 PM on September 12, 2005

"As far as" without the "goes".
posted by tangerine at 12:20 PM on September 12, 2005

Walkman is an exocentric compound (ie, the meaning has little to do with "man"), therefore Walkmans is the correct pluralisation.

"Orientate" bothers the hell out of me, but if Auden and Huxley happily used it, I almost feel guilty. How about "antiquitated"?
posted by RGD at 12:24 PM on September 12, 2005

Civil_D, I bet you (like me) also can't stand it when those fucking idiots ADD syllables: "Kathaleen is a good athalete."

Then don't move to Baltimore, scratch. Patapsco is "Patapsico" and Westminster is "Westminister". Of course Bel Air is "Blair" so give a syllable, take a syllable.
posted by gaspode at 12:27 PM on September 12, 2005

W-GP, I did what to whom? Is there a "double is" in something I wrote above? I can't find if so.

It's in your first comment: ...what is intended is is "to flesh out"
I found it when searching to see if anyone had mentioned my peeve. But, as I said, I don't think people write this way. They say it all the time, however.

Walkmans aside, how about those Toronto Maple Leafs? When they had a contest to solicit names for their basketball team, I submitted "Gooves", the Toronto plural of "goof".
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:54 PM on September 12, 2005

"impactful"
posted by macinchik at 1:29 PM on September 12, 2005