August 2019 Archives
August 31
Who is this “Maaaaaary…?” – Not Mary Tyler Moore (I think)
This has been driving me bats for the past few years – trying to remember a character from a ‘70s-era sitcom whose catchphrase was “Maaaaaaary.” [more inside]
CBT reco in toronto for waking up in the morning?
I want to be able to wake up in the morning. Over years I've tried many suggestions and methods, including in every askme, to achieve that goal with no success (if I put an alarm clock on the opposite side of my room I can assure you I will get up, turn it off, and go straight back to bed with no problem for days on end). I don't have any particular issue with going to sleep, it's the getting up to be on time for work/to keep appointments/to just start my day. I'm willing to invest the time and resources to try something like CBT but I'm not sure where to start and how to find a place. Suggestions?
Looking for the coziest procedurals on TV
My spouse and I are looking for some low-stakes TV to watch while one of us is exercising or pinned under the cat or something. We have Netflix (streaming and DVD), Amazon Prime, and local OTA channels in the SF Bay Area. No dish or cable, not interested in more streaming subscriptions. What do you recommend? [more inside]
Looking for holy grail of notebooks
Target never has my favorite notebook in stock and it is, shockingly, not available online. I use it for work. It's an A5 size, has quality pages that don't ghost or bleed through and is quite durable. What can I replace it with? [more inside]
Chicken stew?
It's going to be a rainy weekend here and I'm craving a good chicken stew. Can you recommend some recipes? [more inside]
Does the tote bag I'm looking for exist?
I'm trying to find a tote bag with specific features, namely: boxy in shape (i.e. not tapered at the top), zippered top, roughly 15 to 20 liters in volume, uncomplicated design, neutral or vaguely-masculine style. I want something I can carry everyday to a casual office, pack with clothes for an overnight trip, or take with me on a plane (preferably stowed under the seat). Can you help me find one? [more inside]
Alternatives to Escoffier's brigade system for professional kitchens?
My understanding is that Escoffier's brigade system is the only game in town for organizing Western kitchens, but I've read of alternative organizations for, e.g., Singaporean restaurants. What other systems are there for organizing professional kitchens?
Philosophers on the idea that harming others also harms oneself?
I'm looking for philosophy sources that address the idea that a moral or ethical harm one causes to others (dehumanizing another person, for instance) also harms the self. What philosophers address this idea? Any specific passages, essays, articles, etc. would be very appreciated.
I'm looking for more ways to build things, solve puzzles, and play games
I love puzzles, games, and building stuff. I was recently given a lego brickheadz character and loved building it. I had never played with legos before and it hit some kind of puzzle fix button for me. My ADHD brain can only seem to really focus on games and building. [more inside]
What does "Island Casual" attire mean?
We are invited to a wedding where the weekend festivities are "Island Casual" attire. This is separate from the wedding attire. Give me some advice for both sexes ("mature" adults) w/out breaking the bank
Ok, doctor, what's next?
YANMD, but maybe you can help me talk to mine. I've been sick almost a month, and doctors keep flip flopping between two possible diagnoses without a plan for if things don't get better. Their theories could be right, of course, but I'm here for ask help with the language to talk to them what's next--I'm barely leaving the house, struggling with my freelance work, etc. Please refrain from trying to diagnose me, and please also refrain from giving me longer things to read; can't do that right now. [more inside]
quick spanish help
My spanish used to be pretty decent, but it's almost 10 years since I used it on a regular basis. Can someone please write a script and all the useful phrases for an important phone call I need to make today? It is to ask a funeral home in Central America to order flowers for someone who died. [more inside]
What to do about a rib that doesn't heal?
I had a nondisplaced fracture of the 9th rib 13 weeks ago. It doesn't seem to be getting any better. What do I do now? [more inside]
Help me choose a replacement computer!
My workhorse computer is a 27" iMac from 2011, and it's reaching the end of its life. I use it for cartooning, book design, audio editing and a little bit of video. What should I replace it with? [more inside]
What do you do when your oven is....on fire?
I bought a condo, cool, but when I tried to use the oven for the first time there was a....medium-sized flame coming from the bottom of it. I turned off the oven, opened windows to clear out the smoke, and have been avoiding the oven for the past several weeks. How do I resolve this problem so that I can get back to the good life of eating roasted vegetables and frozen pizzas? [more inside]
August 30
Blistering in new exterior paint
I had my house painted, and now it's blistering. Should the painter fix this, or is it just bad luck? How would you handle this? [more inside]
The last scene in the movie Joshua
I watched the movie Joshua on Prime. It has no sub titles. I am hard of hearing. I would like to know what was said between Joshua and the Pope in the final scene of that movie? A great movie by the way.
Recovering from a breakup
I just finally got out of a terrible four-year relationship where I was lied to and manipulated. I'm having a hard time keeping my center now and not doing crazy things that I will regret later. [more inside]
Big Hair in a Dry Climate
how can I trick my hair into behaving like it does in places with high humidity? [more inside]
What can we play now that we’ve finished Breath of the Wild?
What game should my husband and I play on the switch now that we’ve finished Breath of the Wild? [more inside]
Does a vehicle purchased as a business expense need commercial insurance
Does a vehicle that will qualify as a business expense necessarily need commercial insurance? [more inside]
Stinky kitchen composter
So I have a kitchen composter that uses a carbon filter. Lately my wife has been complaining about the oder, and I'm guessing that my attempts to wash the filter has reduced its efficacy. Is there some alternative I can use to keep it from being smelly that is cheaper than the filters on Amazon? [more inside]
how do I choose a CBD product and take it for back pain?
An orthopedist casually suggested I take CBD oil for back pain. I would like advice on how to choose an effective product and how to administer it. [more inside]
Where's good for a quick solo vacation near Gainesville?
Looks like I may be going to Gainesville on business in October and I might be able to tack on a couple extra days of personal vacay. I like water in all forms and quiet. I can rent a car but don't really want to drive more than 90 min. Where should I go?
Eating and Drinking in Hartford, CT
I will be spending three nights in Hartford. I like all types of food and beverage, and enjoy trying local specialties. Where and what should I eat and drink in Hartford? Are there any iconic Hartford foods that I shouldn't miss?
1940s-1950s children’s book illustrations: more, please
I love the style of the drawings in “Katie the Kitten,” (1949), as seen here. What other children’s books have this style?
What would happen if a US citizen tried to sneak into the United States?
What would be the potential crimes for an American citizen to sneak into the United States from either Canada or Mexico? [more inside]
Fun themes for 3 year olds
I'm looking for some books, songs, props, and easy circle activities to share with a group of 1-3 year olds, on specific themes. [more inside]
A talk about counter-surveillance?
I have a memory of a person or people who did some research regarding drones. In the video I saw they ended up identifying a number of CIA agents via front companies and released photos of them at their homes, and (if I remember right) also did some work to identify the purpose of a single satellite in orbit. [more inside]
Should I accept a free 1974 Toyota Landcruiser?
A friend has offered me a 1974 Land Cruiser. All I have to do is get it home from 500 miles away. Is there anything particularly tricky about that vintage Landcruiser, or should it be fairly straightforward to make roadworthy? [more inside]
Live broadcast TV on my dad’s Roku? It’s more likely than you think!
My father, who lives in a very rural area with poor digital TV reception and almost no broadband access, just got a Roku and a WISP data connection, so he and my stepmom can watch movies. I talked him into Netflix and he already had Prime for shipping, but I didn’t realize how much he would care about live TV, and he didn’t realize I didn’t realize, so I never thought to check into it. [more inside]
What does a Web Design curriculum look like in 2019?
I'll be teaching a course in Web Design to high schoolers this autumn. Most courses I've seen are all about HTML and CSS, maybe some light javascript. However, in this age of Wordpress and Google Sites, and Wix, and Weebly, and Squarespace, how relevant are HTML and CSS?
Can anyone recommend a book, course, or curriculum that's centered around Wordpress, AWS, Google Sites, or some other currently in vogue platform? [more inside]
"Not everything needs to be difficult." Whaaaat...??
Through therapy, I have come to realize that I was raised to believe that everything is incredibly hard. Each task is onerous, life is one catastrophe after another, people will expect SO much of you, and you must read into, interpret, and respond to the moods, energies & subtle behaviours of others because that is the way we care for them. Thanks to my upbringing, I now excel in the art of overcomplicating things! How did you re-learn? [more inside]
Something old, something new, and a KVM for the two
What KVM and related cords will I need to get to share a USB-A keyboard, USB-A mouse, and old-school DVI monitor between a late 2012 Mac Mini and a 2019 Macbook Air? [more inside]
Can we store things in a cabinet where the range hood vents?
We just moved to a new place! Most of our stuff showed up yesterday! Now it's time to organize our kitchen.
The new place has this cabinet that hosts the vent for the range. I'm wondering, can we store anything safely in these cabinets? [more inside]
Reverberating throughout history
When baby is fed, baby is burped - held vertically, sometimes slumped over a shoulder and allowed to get some gas out through the mouth before being laid down. That's just how it is.
How old is this practice? Is there evidence that shows it in ancient times? Prehistoric? Is it universal now? Were there alternatives?
Buyer's panic
I'm in the middle of a divorce, have just bought an apartment and am filled with anxiety about the purchase, convinced I have made a mistake: paid too much, overlooked some serious flaws. I can't go back and TBH, the anxiety is about more than the apartment. Help? [more inside]
Harpsichord in mid century popular music
I enjoy the harpsichord, and I’m always piqued when I hear it in popular music. I’ve been wondering: why did the harpsichord feature in songs from the 1950s? Was there something in particular that brought it back to popularity post WWII? [more inside]
Teenage vegan baking/crafting blogger from 10-15 years ago?
10 or 15 years ago, I recall reading the blog of a younger woman who baked vegan desserts and sewed/crocheted/knitted cute little anthropomorphic critters, whom she'd photograph in sociable little groupings. I recall her having a somewhat gothy personal aesthetic, and I think she had published a book or two. Who am I thinking of?
The better to hear you with -- oh squirrel!
From how far away can a dog hear a specific car? [more inside]
Forgotten children's book - cat neighbors
Looking for the name of this out of print picture book (from the 70s? 60s?) [more inside]
Do we keep the dog?
Our neighbor is moving from our rural area to a small city apartment. He has asked if we would be willing to keep his big country dog. We have always said we don't want a dog, should we keep her anyway? [more inside]
Trying to identify an actor in Margin Call (2011)
Watching this clip from Margin Call, the woman followed by the camera in the first few seconds makes me go "hey, it's...hm...back in the day, she was in...hm". But there is definitely that feeling I should recognize her. Can you tell me the actor's name? [more inside]
Cat is aggressive towards men
My cat becomes very aggressive when I have male visitors. For the last few months I've been putting him up in another room when someone comes over but I can't do that forever. How do I change this behavior? [more inside]
August 29
Let sleeping dogs lie?
A contractor did work for me in May. I forgot to pay. They haven't asked. Later I learned the work was done so poorly that I need another company to redo all the work. I don't plan to pay. Do I tell them? [more inside]
Looking for music recommendations- the new sounds in Nerd Funk
I'm putting together a birthday playlist for somebody who's a big fan of Devo, Talking Heads, TMBG. Needless to say, I believe them to be pretty literate in the first wave/ 80s artists (Thomas Dolby, etc.).
In Nerdcore, Postpunk, Indie, etc, what are some good new bands that are getting the funkier side of post-punk? I've got Lemon Demon and Bodega to start with, but what else can you suggest?
Want More Music Feels
Please help me find more music that gives me all of these feels. Details inside. [more inside]
Best exercises for chest definition?
It’s been nearly three years since my top surgery and my chest still looks very undeveloped compared to the rest of me. I’m not super toned in general though I am fairly well-muscled under the layer of fat; my arms, legs, back, butt, and even abs (under the fat) all have this quality, and only my chest is, like, empty and hollow under the skin—missing muscle as well as the layer of fat present everywhere else on my body. What exercises can I add to my routine to help make my chest look like it belongs on my body? Snowflakes below the fold. [more inside]
Best read-aloud for 10-11 year old?
I’m going to be teaching a Grade 5/6 class, perhaps for the whole year, and my last teaching assignment was Grade 1 French. Hit me up with your best, most engaging literature suggestions for this age group! [more inside]
From zero to polyp in...?
I had a colonoscopy on July 9th, during which a 20mm polyp was found and because [reasons] was only partially removed. I made an appointment with a specialist who would able to remove the remainder of the polyp in an outpatient setting during what would amount to another colonoscopy.
So, six weeks after the original colonoscopy, I had the second procedure. The surgeon removed the rest of the polyp and found (and removed) two additional 20mm polyps. [more inside]
I'll take shitty genetic disorders for 200$ Alex!
In a recent thread on the blue, a genetic disorder was described where a person can be intolerant of all dairy and beef fat as a sort of horrible combo platter of suck. The fattier the dairy/beef, the worse the gastro-intestinal distress. It was explained as something totally separate from lactose intolerance, and something which can come and go in your lifetime, and that runs in families. Holy Shit I think this is me. Problem is- they didn't know the name of the disorder, and my google-fu is failing me. Hope me metafilter! [more inside]
Roku TV TCL-4 stopped playing .mkvs from USB
I have this Roku TV. I watch H264 mkv files and mp4 files on it from a USB stick. Today, I put the USB stick in and tried to play a movie I had just watched the other night, and got a "File Not Playable" message. What gives? [more inside]
Cavity finding pen
My former dentist had a little device that made a humming noise as it touched my teeth. When it touched a tooth with the beginning of a cavity (I guess an area of demineralization?)... the pitch of the hum would change. What's that machine called? Secondary question- if I do have areas of demineralization, is it possible to fix them without drilling so they don't become cavities?
How to add a second unit address for my ADU?
We purchased a house with an established accessory dwelling unit in Seattle. However, it seems to not have a separate address. How can we get it registered as a separate unit number address? [more inside]
Recurring events that follow a different route each time?
I'm interested in community events which follow a different route each time they occur - for example, the Tour de France happens every year, but follows different roads each time. Please give me more examples! [more inside]
Inexpensive practice room recommendations in PDX
I'm looking for recommendations for a cheap, bare-bones place I can rent or reserve for sax practice in Portland OR. [more inside]
Best way to approach expensive business travel?
I contract and my contracting firm requires me to travel. What I did not know is that they require me to pay out of pocket for hotel and air. I'm brand new, and for an upcoming trip it'll cost me about $4k which I don't have and if I did, would be lenient to shell out given I haven't even had a paycheck yet. What are my options? [more inside]
beginner piano study for a teenager?
My fifteen-year-old daughter would like to explore piano for a month. I play at an intermediate level, but I don't know how to teach piano (especially correct technique). Help me explore options? Snowflakes within. [more inside]
More authors like Sydney Padua?
I've just finished reading The Thrilling Adventures of Lovelace and Babbage by Sydney Padua and am looking for more authors and/or graphic novels (or books, fiction and non) like this. [more inside]
Drum practice room in central New Jersey
Having procrastinated about it for 30+ years I'm finally taking drum lessons. I do get to play with my fellow midlife-crisis guys a number of hours each week in salubrious garage/basement settings, but this isn't practice time. Unfortunately I'm also an apartment-dweller, meaning that playing drums at home is not possible - so I'm looking for a practice space to (probably regularly) rent by the hour, ideally one with an ensuite drum kit to practice on. Locations closer to New Providence NJ are better. [more inside]
How to keep carpet treads in place without destroying wood stairs
We just moved to a house with steep-ish wood stairs. I want to put carpet treads on them so our dog won't slip when he barrels up and down them. I bought a set of rectangular carpet stair treads. They supposedly have a non-slip backing, but it barely helps. I wanted to put carpet tape on them, but I hear that it will badly damage the finish on the wood underneath. Is there any product that will keep these things stationary without destroying the wood finish?
Central Air issues - should I consider replacing?
Our home A/C has been starting to give us issues this month (specifically a "Locked Rotor" error), and the tech thinks we might need to consider a replacement even though the system is only 9 years old and still under warranty. I've never dealt with HVAC replacements (expensive!) and have no clue what I'm doing. Best options? [more inside]
Fun Stuff in Downtown LA
I'm going to be in LA for a single day and have successfully convinced my family (mom, sister, 12 year old niece) we should spend it downtown rather than at the beach. I used to live there and have some ideas but I would love to know about any other fun things I might not be aware of. [more inside]
RetroSys: Scam or huge scam?
My Facebook feed is full of ads for the RetroSys video game system. So help me, I'm tempted. [more inside]
Why give both street and PO box?
I am cleaning up some (USA) addresses and I have many that provide both a street and a PO box in the address:
101 Main Street
PO Box 100
City, ST 00000
Why do they do this and which one should I keep? I want them to be only three lines where possible, including the name and city/state/zip.
Medicaid Dentist in Denver, CO
Looking for a dentist recommendation in Denver or nearby. Ideally looking for someone who takes Medicaid, but at this point looking for quality service and also open to self-pay. [more inside]
How to wear dresses and not freeze?
I love the idea of switching my work wardrobe to mostly dresses, but I'm not sure what to wear under them. Right now I have a few dresses that I can wear with black leggings and ankle boots, but any dress that doesn't work with leggings I only wear in spring and summer. [more inside]
How to buy affordable kid-friendly furniture?
First post - just moved to the Bay Area, and (un)luckily for me, I now also have to replace a lot of furniture. The last time I bought major pieces of furniture was about ten to fifteen years ago. [more inside]
Books about specific urban animals for kids
My students enjoy learning about animals, and we are going to be incorporating some real-world observations of animal habitats around our neighborhood along with research into a unit we're doing this fall. Help us find good books! [more inside]
Another question about pet euthanasia
We're having trouble deciding whether it's time to say goodbye to our cat. External opinions appreciated. [more inside]
Therapy. But for my career.
I am stuck with a complicated career and life situation and desperately need to move forward, but have not ben able to come to a final decision. I'm looking for resources, preferably a real live human, to help me through my options [more inside]
Hope me RPG with my kid!
Seeking suggestions on casual, creative role-playing games I can play with my 10 year old. [more inside]
Finding professional success as a fortysomething autistic woman
As the title states, I'm trying to address something I've grappled with since my teenage years: how to earn a living while also struggling with social expectations and executive functioning? [more inside]
Time for another OKC question!
I have a question of etiquette for OKCupid, and for online dating generally. We had a first date, I wanted a second, she didn't. That was a year ago. We went our separate ways, and eventually we each found our way back onto OKC again. Can/should/may I start messaging this lady again, with a view to a second date, given the amount of time that has passed? [more inside]
I Have a Shrubbery!
Imagine a home, but homier.
How would you make a home more cozy, more comfortable, more relaxing, more like the aaaaaah you feel when you sink into a hot bath? Details after the jump. [more inside]
How can I set up a "Help, I've been dropped!" alert for my Androi phone?
How can I make my Android phone make lots of noise of I drop it, by detecting that the Bluetooth connection has dropped with the fitness tracker that I always wear? (Or if someone takes it, I guess?) [more inside]
Better bedtime behaviors
I want to move my bedtime earlier, so I can get more sleep. If you have successfully pulled off consciously choosing to switch permanently to an earlier bedtime, please share your secrets. [more inside]
ISO Medication and Symptom Tracker
I'm looking for a medication/symptom tracking app for Android that does the following. After downloading a few that don't, I'm hoping you can help! [more inside]
Best tools to improve Emotional Intelligence
I’m looking to do better with my emotional intelligence skills. Not sure yet what I need to focus on (so diagnostic tools also welcome). Please can you tell me about the tools you would recommend for this. I’m looking for things I can do by myself ie not therapy and not requiring me to role play with friends etc. Open to suggestions apart from that! [more inside]
the ones who walk away from academia
I’m in a STEM PhD program. I'm trying to slowly phase my life into a path that combines my technical ability with my strengths in writing, art, and community organizing. How do I lay the groundwork for a life change while keeping up motivation to finish? What do I owe my advisors after I graduate? [more inside]
August 28
Resources for high functioning alcoholics
Specifically for San Francisco / East Bay area. Looking for outpatient services, books, therapy recommendations etc.
Top my lap... gently. Seeking recc's for used/refurb little laptop
Looking for recommendations for a lightweight laptop or notebook or something like that, maybe even a two-in-one, that's going to be relatively inexpensive, light in weight, and easy to use in bed lap desk. Current laptop does not fit the bill. Snowflakes abide. [more inside]
Housing next steps
I am probably overthinking this, but I am in a weird rut with my housing situation and in paralysis. [more inside]
Kona of Silence
So I think I want to get a new car, a Hyundai Kona Ultimate, black, loaded. When I go to the Hyundai website and build this car, I find that there are 0 (ZERO) in the U.S.
What gives? [more inside]
Planning a spring trip to Japan
Just booked tickets for a family trip to Japan, flying in and out of Tokyo. Looking for recommendations on where to go (this will be our third trip there). [more inside]
How do I stuff my jacket into its pocket?
I have an Eddie Bauer Weatheredge barrier edge shell jacket. I remember watching the sales clerk pack it into (I think) the right-side pocket at the store years ago, but now I can't remember how she did it. Yahoo videos talk about a double-zippered pocket being the one to stuff the jacket into, but my jacket doesn't have a double zipper on any of its pockets. I can't find the jacket on the Eddie Bauer website and Google isn't helpful either. Does anyone have any ideas?
Which cat foods are the juiciest?
Some cats I know really seem to prefer drinking up the juice of their wet food and leave the solids behind. Which cat foods are the juciest? Not looking for "kitty broth" types that are all juice -- they've rejected those in the past.
How Do I Extend Wi-Fi Reach?
I live in the Hollywood Hills in a mobile home on spacious property 75 feet from the main house. The homeowner has a Spectrum business account and has added an extender to increase the reach of the wi-fi. While I am in the mobile home, I get a strong signal yet no internet. I have tested outside around the mobile. I do get a connection which leads me to believe that the metal structure is preventing the connection. [more inside]
New Underwriting Voice
There is a new female voice doing underwriting credits for NPR. I started hearing her about two weeks ago. A few years ago, Jessica Hansen replaced Sabrina Farhi. Who is the new voice and is another NPR sound change underway?
How can I find a living situation in NYC that works for me?
Hey ya'll. Here's my story. Most of my life has been centered around New York- I grew up on Long Island, went to school at Hofstra, and now work in Midtown. I studied accounting and after having worked in public accounting for two years, I'm ready to look for a job in private accounting which should afford me less hours and a better income (wooo!!!). Im 27M and make 65K for reference. However, I really dislike apartment living and there aren't many options for alternatives in NYC. Accordingly, I don't know how I can find a livable situation. [more inside]
What was this weird car malfunction?
My 2009 Hyundai Elantra just refused to start for a few minutes and flashed warning signs at me that I'd never seen before. Then it started normally. I'm going on a road trip this weekend so definitely want to understand what happened and how to make sure it doesn't recur. [more inside]
You can do it, baby!
Looking for your favorite videos of mama (or papa) birds or animals encouraging their baby animals to fly or walk (particularly looking for flying lessons, but glad for anything if it's particularly adorable). Extra points if the action feels like the way a human would do it.
Oddness with photos downloaded from iPhone to Mac
Occasionally when my iPhone gets full, I'll download the images to my Mac to free up space. When looking at these photos later, I notice that a few suffer from weird colour banding issues or other 'corruption' that didn't seem to be an issue on the iPhone itself. See here for a picture of the kind of thing I'm talking about from Finder [more inside]
Pith fact, not fiction
A question for the Nutritionists/ dieters: what is the nutritional value of orange pith? Specifically, the white spongy stuff between the bitter skin of the orange and its flesh. I like to eat this and can’t find a calorie count for it. Thanks
Seeking fiction recommendations--what's your favorite?
I'm looking for books to read! [more inside]
What's wrong with my face?
I have clenched my teeth for several years, almost exclusively on the right side of my face. It doesn't seem to cause much pain, but lately I can tell the right side of my face is much more "developed" than the left, and I'm freaked out for health and esthetic reasons. What kind of specialist can help me with this? Is there anything I can do at home to slow this down? YANAD/oral surgeon/cosmetic surgeon, YANMD/oral surgeon/cosmetic surgeon. [more inside]
Name this historical political speech that displays ambivalence?
For the life of me I can't remember the context or author of a historical political speech about something controversial--perhaps alcohol or gambling--in which the speaker outlines an identical subject twice in both a positive and negative way, claiming to support the positives but derides the negatives, ignoring that it is the same subject. Perhaps satirically or ironically? [more inside]
Do you see what happens when you wear a sneaker in the Alps?
Light hiking in the Alps! What sort of footwear is necessary for easy trails? [more inside]
Would you send in your ID to Facebook to recover your account?
I would like to recover my old Facebook account that had connections with people from my childhood and school years. In order to recover it, they are asking me to send in a picture of a government issued ID to confirm my identity. Are there any risks in doing so? [more inside]
Travel printer for standard documents?
Looking for a tried and true printer for a someone who needs to print standard 8.5 x 11 inch pages from a a laptop. Sometimes will be in a vehicle which has an inverter or a place with outlets.
Small enough to fit in a backpack so the person won’t be lugging an extra carry case around.
Color ink is optional
What kind of doctor treats an A-V malformation in the tongue?
The dentist wants me to go see an oral surgeon to get an old trauma-induced AV malformation in my tongue checked out. I don't want to see an oral surgeon because my dental insurance is awful, but my medical insurance is good. Can I see a medical specialist of some sort, instead? If so, what kind? [more inside]
Need magical cobbler elves
I've worn these bernie mev sandals a few times this summer and can't get the heel strap to stay up. It's too late to return them now, and I'm determined to find some kind of DIY solution so I'm not out $70 for nothing. [more inside]
My good friend at work is about to be my supervisor. How do we do this?
My dear friend whom I met at work, who has turned into someone I socialize with outside of work, is about to become my supervisor. She mentioned this to her supervisor who said there’s no reason why we can’t still be friends. But I think both of us are nervous. Everyone knows we are close and we don’t want to imply any favoritism. How do we make this work?
Will my Onkyo Home Theater In A Box work with a new receiver?
Long story short, I bought an Onkyo HT-28409home theater in a box some years back. It's sat in my basement boxed up until next month when we move into our first house. Included is the Onkyo TX-NR609 receiver. By looking at the websites and specs I would presume that the receiver isn't proprietary in my case, there's the normal speaker wire screw on inputs from what I can see. I'd like to upgrade to a newer Denon 4k receiver as part of a staged upgrade. More details inside! [more inside]
What can I do in the fall to prepare my yard for spring?
So our yard is terrible. Really a disgrace. We don't have a lot of money to hire someone and health limitations mean that doing heavy work in the summer is very difficult. My hope is that we can do some stuff in the fall that will render the whole mess more stable in the spring. [more inside]
Busy Beavers Bothering (some)Bodies on the Block
I live near a small pond in the Northeast US. Over the summer some beavers have been busy on our property on the shore cutting and dragging branches, including building a lodge. Some of the people who live on the pond want them trapped or removed, since they have gone after their trees some as well.
Has anyone else had experience having beavers removed? (more inside) [more inside]
Why Is Excel Inserting An Automatic Page Break After My First Column?
I've started two new documents and each of them has had an automatic page break (the dotted line kind) inserted after my first column. The document is 8.5" x 11", portrait orientation, normal margins. I'm using Excel via Microsoft Office 365 (subscription), if it matters. I've tried the usual ways of removing the page break (under Page Layout/Breaks) and they don't work. Why is this happening and, more importantly, how do I get rid of it?
Dating Question: My dates *never* follow up with me. Is this normal?
I [straight youngish male] go on tons of dating app dates that seem to go well and sometimes even turn into a second date. But women never, ever follow up with me on their own volition and I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong or give off the wrong "vibe". [more inside]
Maintaining a consistent level of productivity
How can I maintain a consistent level of productivity everyday? I feel like too often, my productivity or lack of it is too dependent on my mood or on other external factors. Have any of you managed to crack this? [more inside]
Jailbreaking in 2019
I am interesting in jailbreaking my iPhone X running iOS 12.4 (goodbye, giant center screen volume popup!). It has been several iOS generations since I've done this - is there anything special I need to watch out for? [more inside]
Baby food inspiration recommendations
I’m in search of meal ideas for our 9/10 month old. Instagram accounts preferred but blogs are good too. Details inside. [more inside]
Should we do a cat ultrasound for cancer?
We think our cat has cancer. Our vet has recommended doing an ultrasound to see how far it has spread. Does this make sense to do? [more inside]
August 27
Onenote in tablet mode stretches out toolbar buttons. Make it stop?
I use Onenote to project lectures on a screen. My laptop is a Lenovo X1 Yoga that converts to tablet mode. In regular laptop mode, my custom toolbar is just right, and all the buttons I want fit in one row across the top. When I flip into tablet mode, Onenote automatically stretches out all the buttons, so not as many will display. The rest now require an extra click/touch to access. Do you know a way to make that stop? I want it to stay nice and compact always, but especially when I am in tablet mode. [more inside]
How to stay safe in the Twitter-verse
Are there 'best practices' to keeping harassment and personal attacks down online? [more inside]
sub-24 hr overnight hikes near New York City?
I'd like to do more hiking, but in NYC that typically means rising at 5 a.m. to ride the subway to the train to the trailhead for a 9 a.m. start. It'd be cool if we could instead camp near the trailhead overnight and be right there in the morning. So, are there any trails accessible by public transit from NYC where we could camp out overnight near the trail head? [more inside]
Philly Restaurant Recommendation...for tomorrow
I need to find a good restaurant for 6 people to meet and converse, in Center City, tomorrow (Wednesday) night. Please help! [more inside]
What is the smallest RISK/war game board available?
I wanted to put a little chessboard on my desk, or on my dresser, or next to my bed. Then I realized -- chess is boring! I'm much more interested in a war game like RISK or Stratego. The boards for those games are pretty big, I don't see a travel version (of RISK anyyway). Does anyone know of the smallest strategy board game out there, that I could play by myself? Or am I going to be stuck with a tiny travel chessboard, which I know does exist? Thanks for your help.
Favorite way to use caramelized onions?
I caramelized four big onions this weekend. How should I use them? What is your favorite recipe that incorporates caramelized onions?
One day itinerary please for a tired mom
What’s a good one day exploration of Philly look like? Toddler-friendly. Exhausted parent-friendly. [more inside]
Will it blend?
Best blender recommendations here! [more inside]
Women in Tech Session
My company is holding its annual user conference and our marketing group is beta testing a women in tech session this year. What should it look like? [more inside]
It felt easier to job search when I didn't have a job
It's time for me to find a new job for a variety of reasons, but I find myself feeling generally unmotivated and pretty negative about my "stupid" career choices (imo). How do I get it together and just job search!? And if I made a career mistake, now what? [more inside]
Ravenna : Seattle :: ____ : Vancouver ?
What neighborhoods in Vancouver, BC are "most like" north Seattle neighborhoods (Ravenna, Queen Anne, Ballard, etc)? Talking about access to amenities, "feel", and cost. The north Seattle neighborhoods I mention have single family homes with small yards and townhomes, often within walking distance to at least a few good restaurants and a grocery store and parks/libraries, but only a 15 minute drive to downtown core where a lot of the offices and theater/museums are located.
You say tomato, I say yum!
I am about to come into a serious amount of tomatoes (beefsteak/field), like upwards of 40 pounds or more if I want. Lucky for me, I flipping love tomatoes. I'd like to make some dishes to stock up the freezer as well as some fresh recipes. Give me your ideas, please! [more inside]
Alternative to "not waving but drowning"
I'm working on a water-related creative project, and I love the sentiment of Stevie Smith's Not Waving But Drowning. Unfortunately, so do lots of other people (so there are lots of other projects of the same type which use this title). Is there another creative work that references drowning in a similar way?
Has anyone redrawn the D&D red box cover art with a female warrior?
I'm going to tackle my first big cross stitch project - the 1983 D&D "Red Box" cover art, as interpreted here but I would like to replace the 'conan' type warrior with a woman. Short of commissioning an artist to make my dream a reality, has anyone already re-done the painting with a female warrior?
What are the pros and cons of giving your kid a debit card?
Have you given your young teen a debit card, and how has it worked out for you? I am considering it as my kid is going into high school this year. [more inside]
For what domestic purpose is 70% ethanol?
We have a 4 liter sealed bottle of reagent 70% ethanol in water, now what. [more inside]
I Can Stay Young Till I Die - women's roles in musical theatre
So, I've been asked to participate in a conversation about what it means to be a woman in her 40s in community theatre. Help me create a list of musical roles for women in their 40s. [more inside]
Help with digital detox
I want to try Cal Newport's suggestion of a 30-day digital detox (from the book Digital Minimalism). Has anyone done this? [more inside]
What are best practices for maintaining a gravel driveway?
So we've had this house for over five years but we've never really gotten the whole gravel driveway thing down. We just have people regrade and dump new 'stuff' on it periodically, but I would like to find out what people who know what they are doing do. [more inside]
Any old-school bloggers still posting?
I started blogging in the late 90s and posted regularly for many years. But then a few years ago I decided it was too much work and moved that daily activity over to Google+. Which obviously wouldn't go anywhere ever. Poop. So now it's gone and I'm restarting my blog. I looked around for some OG bloggers from the 90s and early 2000s. And found..... only Kottke??? [more inside]
Little House in the Big Woods with less meat?
Which sections of Little House in the Big Woods have no animal deaths or meat preparation? [more inside]
Driving between Salt Lake City and Grand Junction
For reasons, I may be driving between Salt Lake City and Grand Junction, Colorado in mid September/early October. It appears to be a drive of 4.5 to 5.5 hours. I am an okay driver but I don't love driving. Any tips for helping make this more manageable for me? [more inside]
Mirena IUD removal because of side effects -- what to expect
My Mirena (probably) caused persistent under-the-skin bumps all over my cheeks and jawline. It sucks! If you had a hormonal IUD pulled because you hated the side effects, what happened? Did it help? How long did it take to notice any change? [more inside]
AI for marriage
My relationship is deeply unhealthy, but we are trying one more time to repair what is broken before we proceed with a divorce. Requesting marriage support options that are cost effective while we make one last effort. Details below the fold. [more inside]
Choosing a TMS clinic (in Boston or in general)
Do you have a recommendation for a TMS clinic in the Boston area? How about general advice on selecting one? [more inside]
I've heard of Gallows Humour but this....
How much of a red flag would playful references to violence be in a new relationship? [more inside]
Best robot vac for 2 cats and 1 lazy person
I have two cats and one of them has asthma. Even the dustless litter creates some dust, and of course litter gets tracked everywhere despite copious use of litter mats. I TRY to vacuum, but with heart failure it's hard for me even just in my 1 BR. I need a robovac that is very good with pet hair and litter. $300 is my upper limit. Halp?
First day of kindergarten rituals
Tomorrow is my daughter’s first day of kindergarten. My wife and I will take her to school together and there will be lots of photos (and the obligatory “first day of school” sign). What else she we do tomorrow and beyond to commemorate this important transition? [more inside]
Hobby ideas for my disabled mom
My mom, who is in her late 60s, had a stroke in 2017. As a result, she had to retire from work, no longer drives, and has some paralysis. She uses a cane to walk and only has use of one arm. She is bored out of her skull at home, so for her birthday, I'd like to buy her some potential new hobbies to try out. Ideas? [more inside]
Help me find a particular new sci-fi podcast
Argh, heard an ad or saw a description for a new sci-fi podcast, but can't find it in the ever growing morass of content.
Not much description here, but ... scientist wakes up on a planet (colony?) alone? Supposed to have great sound design.
It's new apparently. Anyone?
Security deposit due upon NYC apartment rental application
Some NYC apartment rentals nowadays require payment of the security deposit upfront at the time of application, before lease signing. (1) is this legal? (2) is the deposit refunded if the applicant fails the credit check? (3) is the deposit refunded if the applicant passes the credit check but decides they no longer want the apartment? I'm particularly curious about (3). Thanks!
"You appeared in XX LinkedIn searches this week" - how many is good?
I'm employed, but I've been looking for a new job for awhile now. I get these notifications from LinkedIn, and it seems like I'm getting an impressive amount of attention, but I don't know what to do with it. [more inside]
August 26
help me choose my robot
I have zero carpets. Is there any reason to get a robot vacuum or should i proceed straight to robot mop? which one? [more inside]
Which Digital Distributor to use to put original music on Spotify, etc.?
If you want your very own original music to appear on Spotify, iTunes, et al, I gather that the standard way to accomplish this is to go through a Digital Distributor--CD Baby, or Distrokid, or (numerous other examples). If anybody has experience dealing with these distributors, and wants to recommend me one, or warn me away from one, or has related advice about putting their music on these services, I'd be delighted to hear it.
I can't reach my damn laundry
I am short. My wash machine is a top loading one that's up on a little concrete pad. Even if I get a step stool I practically fall in it (not an exaggeration) trying to reach my wet clothes to put them in the dryer. I have seen the reach contraptions on Amazon, they don't look very sturdy nor grippy enough. I did try very long kitchen tongs like these, didn't really work well. Please hope me!
Are these two vendors illegally fixing prices?
If one vendor starts charging for a service, and another does the same after communicating with the first, is that totes OK market research or illegal price fixing? [more inside]
Forcing parrot tulips?
I would like to force parrot tulip bulbs this winter, but conventional wisdom is that such bulbs are difficult to convince to bloom. Do you have advice about forcing tulips? What makes them more likely to bloom,?
Is there less added sugar - and corn syrup - in Japan's processed foods?
I've been losing weight kinda easily since I got to Japan and I want to know how? I eat more convenience store food here actually (because it's great) and yes portion sizes are smaller but I eat two things for the one I ate in the US. So I used google translate on a couple of ingredient lists and what I didn't see was corn syrup. So do they NOT use it here? Is that the magic bullet?
How to use a planner 101
I have never in my life maintained any kind of external planner/calendar/to do list, paper or app-based, for any length of time. I’ve held my life together, narrowly, but the last several months have been a little hectic and they’re about to get moreso. If you are a person who made the transition from holding everything in your head somehow to keeping a better system, how did you make the change? Are there specific tools you recommend? [more inside]
How do I stop the post-hair-dye bleed?
Now that my daughter has crossed the teen Rubicon of at-home hair dyeing, how does she get the color bleeding to stop? We used Splat 's Midnight Amethyst 30 Wash today, and she...well, her hair is fine, it's just that she's looking like Violet Beauregarde in her blueberry stage. Help? [more inside]
About to buy a house, and then the pipes burst — how bad is this?
The (seemingly) well-maintained house we were about to buy just burst some pipes while being de-winterized. The owners are asking to delay the purchase two weeks so they can repair it. How concerned should I be? Is there anything I should look out for? [more inside]
Prescription Safety Glasses Online Recommendations
I need to get a pair of prescription safety glasses ; I had an unsatisfactory experience buying them locally at an optometrist, hoping someone could share their experiences with online purveyors. Price, accuracy, quickness, ease of using website are my main concerns. Thank you!
What are the details of the contract between Motorola and ICE?
What are the details of the contract that Motorola has with ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement)? Is it possible to view the contract? What is Motorola providing? When is the contract up?
Falling asleep makes me panic
Since the beginning of the summer sometimes falling asleep triggers panic. This is terrible. Has this ever happened to you? [more inside]
Dog breeds for older parents?
Help me narrow down dog breeds for my parents. [more inside]
Tell me about some ill-conceived opening acts for concerts!
A friend and I were discussing "Ill-conceived" concert opening acts and wondering if there are more examples out there. Specifically these are opening acts that were just not a good fit for fans of the main act. Doesn't mean they're bad, in fact they could be legendary bands and that's even more interesting. There's a (maybe apocryphal) story of Jimi Hendrix being booed off the stage when he opened for the Monkees. Neil Young fans in the 90s did not appreciate Sonic Youth. Any other good examples?
"bring me the red dog ball"
Which language has the least ambiguity? [more inside]
Stop waiting, start living
I'm waiting for certain things in my life to happen. Once they do, my life should change/improve considerably. I can't do anything to speed these things up though; they are either out of my control or mostly just a function of time. So how do I stop feeling like my life is "on hold" until these events take place? [more inside]
Cooking pork heart, liver, tongue for the faint of heart
I bought half a pig and my cuts included a heart, a liver and a tongue. Between me and my extended family with whom I am sharing the pig, no one is very interested in getting fancy with organs. Can I cook with these things the way I would cook with other cuts of meat? [more inside]
Where to buy a laptop backpack in NYC
I'd like to purchase a new backpack that can hold my laptop. I'd prefer to shop in-person rather than online, so I'm looking for good options in NYC. Thanks for any tips!
Tips for surviving a potentially awkward meeting?
Hi, AskMe. :)
I have a meeting with one of my company's clients tomorrow, a person who has a reputation for being abrasive and has apparently been rather confrontational to my coworkers in the recent past. I'm going to be demoing some software bugs for them, and am anxious about the whole process. I'd appreciate some tips for surviving this. [more inside]
Recommend urban childhood memoirs
I'm looking for well written, evocative memoirs of growing up in a large city or other urban area in the 20th century. Anywhere in the world is ok but I want to read at least one set in the United States. Recommend me your favorites!
Course in Bioethics, online
What are my options for taking a course in bioethics that can help me think better? [more inside]
How do I find every business operating in a specific NYC building?
How do I find every single tenant in an NYC commercial building? I am willing to pay for a service that would provide this information, if that exists. How can I obtain such a list?
Tell me about your experiences owning a lake house
We have an opportunity to buy a small house near the beach in southwest Michigan, about a 2 hour drive from our home. In theory that's awesome: a family getaway that could be shared with the kids now and into their adult lives. But we have no experience in what it takes to maintain/keep up a place from afar and I am afraid that there are 100 things I'm not realizing that are "unknown unknowns" about owning a second house that's often empty. People with a lake house: what has been your experience? [more inside]
"Le Corps Enjeu" to English
What would be a proper English translation of the French phrase "Le Corps Enjeu"?
In context, it was the title of this 1983 exhibit at the Ethnographic Museum of Neuchâtel. I presume there's a better idiomatic translation that Google's "the body at stake". [more inside]
Toxicity of chimney creosote to environment?
Every year I clean out the soot/creosote that's fallen to the bottom of my wood stove chimney and toss the maybe 4 gallons of it "over the bank" onto an old brush pile. I've begun to wonder if this is a bad practice. I could as easily landfill it or take it to a hazardous waste collection. As always, fact-based answers please
Please help with this Google Sheets chart question
I am not a person who makes charts, yet I have made a chart. Now, how do I get my data to show up slightly differently? [more inside]
A goose in summer
Our local zero-waste store has frozen geese at a really low price. I am planning to buy one. But what should I do with it? I am fine with cooking Christmas geese, but isn't that a bit weird right now? Any ideas?
Mouse in my house, what to do :(
Late last night, I watched a mouse crawl into my house. I called my super and he was like, "Just put out some traps." But that would only kill the existing mouse/mice and wouldn't solve the problem going forward. What should I agitate for to try and solve this problem for good? [more inside]
New job in Cybersecurity. Problem: no background
I just was hired for a managerial role in cybersecurity. I have a background as a good manager (good at developing teams, improving morale, impacting performance/job satisfaction with unhappy folks, producing targets) and have been told I was hired explicitly for this, and they know I have no background. I'd like to learn more about cybersecurity. Where do I (good at technology but in my late 30s) start? [more inside]
How Many Processes in the Human Body is Calcium Directly Involved With?
Hi, I need the exact number and the details (!) of how calcium is needed and UPTAKEN for these processes.
Thank you!
Help me to appreciate Plays and Acting and Writing
Suggestions for a Play novice. Not real interested in Blockbusters, but some smaller, more accessible productions; w/ good acting and writing.
If a conductor dropped dead in the middle of a symphony...
...could the orchestra a) finish the piece of music, while b) continuing to sound like a professional orchestra? If not, why not?
Help me identify this weird (scary?) sign!
So my friend works in at a pizza place in Concord, California and the other day noticed this (see picture).
Anybody know what it means (if anything)? [more inside]
August 25
Joining a new company as a manager
I am joining a new company as a software engineering manager and this is my first time being hired directly into a leadership role. What should I do to make sure I get off to a good start with my new team? [more inside]
Please help with some hebrew text
While spending the evening with a friend reviewing a number of their family photos and documents we came upon this image. [more inside]
How do you fill your days?
When you're not working, what do you do? How do you fill up your time? Looking for inspiration. [more inside]
what colour sofa should i get?
I have a small and sunny living room area. I want to buy a 2-seater sofa or sofa bed to put in the space. I don't know what colour to get. [more inside]
Teaching at American schools overseas
I teach Social Sciences and Computer Science at a high school in Northern California. I have heard that there are sometimes summer jobs at American schools overseas, teaching children of service members or other Americans who live in other countries.... [more inside]
Memorable Meals in Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka
I'm taking my first trip to Japan next month and I'm looking for recommendations for memorable restaurant experiences in Tokyo (Ginza/Tsukiji area especially), Kyoto, and Osaka. I do plan to eat plenty of cheap noodles and random sushi but would like some specific nice places planned ahead as well. I don't mind spending some money but maybe not like $200 per person. [more inside]
No Regerts?
People with tattoos: Do any of you actively regret getting your tattoos? [more inside]
What is this mystery machine?
I found this machine in a vintage shop near Santa Rosa, CA, and immediately fell in love. The owner of the shop didn't know what it was either - my receipt reads "WHAT IS THIS???"
I brought it home, have christened it "the portal", and am now using it as a plant stand. However, the mystery remains: WTF was it originally for??? [more inside]
Laundry bacteria in the cold cycle
How do I sanitize soiled clothes if I use the cold cycle? [more inside]
What's a short-term training that's been helpful or reassuring to have?
What are some unusual but practical kinds of training that might not occur to the average millennial/Gen X-er? [more inside]
What are your best baby redirects?
I’d like to limit the amount of “no” my child hears. A friend told me their nanny says, “use soft hands” when touching people/animals, for example, instead of, “No, don’t pet so hard.” What other sorts of positive redirects have you found useful? [more inside]
I need additional help at home
Right now I have hired a husband and wife team who come to our house to clean the kitchen, vacuum and straighten up once a week. They are here for about 90 minutes and I pay them $100 cash (I have no idea if this is market rate or not). Laundry & cooking isn't part of the services they provide. I am not sure how to go about hiring someone who will do those things, and about how much I should plan on spending. [more inside]
Logistics of taking a toddler to the US Open
We're getting the incredible chance to watch a match at Louis Armstrong Stadium from the players' box as my cousin is taking on a very high-ranking player there. This will be during the Day session, first round. How do we manage our toddler when there? [more inside]
Moving to Salt Lake City - Family edition
Considering a move to Salt Lake City for medical reasons. What’s good, bad, ugly for living and raising kids here? [more inside]
Deutsche Bücher
I'd like to read more contemporary German fiction and am looking for recommendations on novels and authors! I don't speak German, but I read in both English and French (though I'll also welcome recs for untranslated literature to keep in mind for the future). [more inside]
Identify a (possibly imaginary) tree
This tree appears in the Japanese Anime "Akira". I'm trying to figure out what species it is/might be.
What book is the "Come As You Are" for men?
Are there any books that help demystify sex for men the way Come As You Are demystifies it for women? [more inside]
The two-bag problem
I usually carry a largish shoulder bag with various necessities of life (books, wallet, phone, umbrella, etc etc etc). I am now likely to need to carry around a smallish laptop on a regular basis as well. What's the most efficient and comfortable way to schlep all these things? [more inside]
Best websites for comparing city/town data
We're moving to St. Louis! And have narrowed it down to a few municipalities in the area. I'd like to get some real numbers about each of the areas we're looking at. Which websites are the best for this? I've seen bestplaces.net, city-data.com, and a few others and honestly I'm overwhelmed with all of the other work that goes into moving so I'm low on time and energy for evaluating websites. Which one(s) is/are the best? [more inside]
August 24
Demonstrating leadership skills
How would you demonstrate leadership skills, in the context of applying for jobs, if you have never managed a team or been someone’s supervisor, and are not really the sort of person who takes charge in a group setting?
Cat breathing weirdly - emergency?
My friend's cat started breathing weirdly tonight and she's wondering if she should go to the vet immediately. [more inside]
Plants that work well in narrow borders
I have a very narrow strip between a small wall and my paved patio that the previous people filled with sand and then decorative pebbles. It is constantly sprouting weeds. There is proper soil underneath the sand. Can I plant it with something deliberately to keep the weeds out? What would that something be? [more inside]
Is it ok for me to make a request of a local charity that I worked for?
Can I ask a local charity if they would write some things about the volunteer work I did for them? [more inside]
WiFi My Driveway
I am currently staying in a family member's RV, until I can get my own place. The WiFi connection out here is pretty spotty, and I want to boost the signal from the house. [more inside]
The beef, it is not here
My son told me his favorite food is meatloaf. I'm trying to cut back our family's beef consumption. Do you have a favorite nonbeef loaf? [more inside]
CRABAPPLES. Help.
My crabapple tree remembered it’s a fruit tree this year and made a bumper crop of small but flavorful crabapples. Some of them are bird food, some of them are dropping off, but what do I do with the rest? [more inside]
How to share recipe links across 2 people and 3+ computers?
My wife and I both scroll through recipes and bookmark them at random when we're web surfing. We're not very good at combining them into one resource we can both add to and view easily. We have bookmarks on multiple home and work computers. Is there a tool that will help us with this? [more inside]
Setting up DV editing
I have some Mini DV cameras that I want to use. I also have a Sony (DSR-1500A) Mini DV player/recorder. That unit has a firewire output and my PC has a firewire card. I want to edit with Adobe Premier. [more inside]
My Gyno Screwed Up - How Worried Should I Be?
Went for my annual PAP Smear today. Because my cervix is so tightly closed, my doctor has to insert a very thin metal dilator in order to obtain a good sample. Several hours after the procedure, she called to let me know that the instrument she used to dilate my cervix had been inadequately sterilized. How worried should I be that I've been exposed to a communicable disease or infection? [more inside]
best compostable containers?
I know compostability is a complex question, but for the short-term (though with an eye to changing behaviors): what is the best source for compostable containers that one might recommend in lobbying a local restaurant to go compostable? If it matters, this is in western Virginia.
How do I clean a (treated?) bamboo desktop?
How do I clean my desk properly? What cleaners should I avoid? (It's bamboo with a "UV cured topcoat") [more inside]
Too much butternut. Difficulty Level: picky kid
My garden is producing an absurd amount of large butternut squashes. I love butternut in all its many forms, but my kid cannot tolerate slimy/mushy foods. Assume I'm already aware of standard butternut preparations such as soup and ravioli. What else can I make with all this squash that my kid will eat?
Resources for developing emotional maturity
I haven't had a very good experience with therapists, and I seem to do better with self-therapy. I'm in a phase of particular growth and looking for all the external help I can find to fuel it. Books, websites, forums, online support groups. Details inside. [more inside]
Delay notification of email
Gmail has filters that let you move all email matching a set of characteristics into a certain folder. Gmail also has a "snooze" function that will mark a message as read until later, when it returns to your inbox. Is there a way to do both things at once, i.e. delay notification about certain messages until a specified time? [more inside]
Navigating a maze of toxic manbabies without endangering my cosmic soul
What resources do you suggest for navigating a workplace riddled with toxic behavior? [more inside]
Our wisteria is dying. Root rot?
Our beloved 12 year old wisteria appears to be rapidly dying. Over the space of a week, all the leaves have started shrivelling. However, it has shown signs of being unwell for months. Best guess as to cause is root rot, I'd appreciate a second opinion. Also, how to plant a new wisteria in that location, if necessary, without it succumbing to the same thing. [more inside]
August 23
Who are the VLoggers that you love?
I'm interested in watching some Vloggers on Youtube that are low-fi (don't have a big industry behind them) and have short/snappy videos (5 minutes tops) that cover a given topic. Prefer one-man/woman show, but can be on ANY topic.
Hand over the money now or later?
For Reasons, my sister and I will be inheriting money (a bit over $1M, split evenly between us) within the next ~10 years. We would like to give some of this to our mom, but are trying to decide how best to arrange it given the circumstances. [more inside]
Ideas for dinner tomorrow in Midtown West/Hell's Kitchen/Hudson Yards
We are meeting people who are brand new to the city (the daughter is starting at John Jay), and we'd like to take them to an early dinner tomorrow someplace that is walking distance/short cab ride from their hotel, the New Yorker. Ideally, it would be relatively quiet, without being rushed, so we can converse, and not crazy expensive. Also would love any other places where we can sit and chat, such as ice cream or coffee places.
Hope us, Metafilter!
Can I change my Comcast Xfinity plan mid-contract?
I'm about to sign up for a Comcast Xfinity internet-only plan, with a new customer promo ($20/month for Performance Starter). It's possible I may want the next plan up ("Performance"), which also has a promo for $30/month for new customers I think. If I sign up for the Performance Starter and determine in a month or two that I want to upgrade, will I only have to pay $30/month at that point, or will that deal no longer be valid and will I have to pay the full price?
What was that cartoon where everybody was carrying their partner?
A street scene populated by double figures, each carrying her partner on her shoulders. The female is carrying the male in every case except one of the two approaching each other in the foreground, about which the woman in the other is saying
"Now there's a relationship that's working!" [more inside]
cordless lighting in the US?
the new house has an under-the-stairs cabinet in the basement we'd like to use for litterboxes. No lighting in there as is, and no power socket inside. Any recommendations for how to light this for daily kitty maintenance? [more inside]
Blueberries and Cherries
I'm looking for dessert recipes featuring blueberries and cherries. [more inside]
Looking for a word
I'm working on something and am trying to come up with a single word that begins with the letter "E" (to fit in an acronym), which refers to the concepts of process documentation, definition documentation, data governance/validation/quality, etc. I just can't seem to find one, so I'm turning to the hive mind.
Secret Society & Occult Walks in London worth the $$$?
We're hoping to go on at least one Secret Society and/or Occult Walk while we're in London this October and want to know if they're worth the $$$ [more inside]
UU sermon-like podcasts appropriate for a 7 year old (not religious)
I often listen to Universal Unitarian sermons just before bed. They align well with my social justice and self-awareness perspective. I find the more religious aspects interesting, and the lack of dogma approachable. My 7-year-old knows that I do this an has started asking to join me. Can you help me find something that is age-appropriate? [more inside]
Dragonroasted
I have a seriously dumb question, it‘s for a fantasy story and I think I need to ask some...BBQing experts? [more inside]
can you feel the printing on bedsheets?
Cotton bed sheets with white printing on them - will I be able to feel the slightly raised white ink after a few washings? [more inside]
Please give me your comics / comic book / graphic novel recommendations!
Here are mine! [more inside]
Missing Fitocracy Android App
This seems like a weird problem, but the Fitocracy app on the Google Play store appears to be... gone. I can't find word of why anywhere, and my bug report to Fitocracy has gone unanswered for a month. Is this just me? Does anyone have any idea what happened or if it's permanent?> [more inside]
How to Be a Clean Person?
You have a home. The household goods, materials, and linens in it are clean, fresh, and not discolored or covered with a fine film of grease, despite your copious cooking and sweating and living. How do you do it? [more inside]
4 Days in Xiamen, China
I'm an American attending a conference in Xiamen soon. I've tacked 4 days onto the trip after the 4-day conference concludes for vacation / sightseeing. I've never been to China before. What's the best way to spend those days? Are there interesting things in Xiamen to occupy those days or should I plan to move around a bit? [more inside]
Drum me off the couch
I'm trying to create a playlist of songs with a strong drumming beat that pumps me up, both to boost my mood and to get me to move via jogging or dancing terribly around my apartment. What songs that fit this mold work for you? [more inside]
Golf Fans: rags to riches stories from the Korn Ferry Tour?
Anyone know of any particularly interesting stories about semi-professional players who battled through the Korn Ferry Tour and got a spot on the PGA? Don't need to have had tons of success on the PGA, but would be great if they had interesting back stories ALA, they were working as a golf pro in a small town before, etc.
When the crack in the tea-cup opens a lane to the land of the dead
I regularly go through bouts of what I can best describe as extreme neuroticism. Does anyone relate, and/or have tips for coping with them? [more inside]
Dupe for Yamuna foot wakers?
I've been occasionally going to some Yamuna mobility classes at a local fitness practice (thanks, Classpass!) and the benefit of using foot wakers has been particularly noticeable. These spiky things. You stand on them with each section of your foot and drop your heels or rise onto your toes to get intensely into the fascia. I want to get a set to use at home that will do the thing while I do the exercises I've learned. Without breaking the bank. Because capitalism is failing me here. [more inside]
Please find kitty's home!
Looking for advice on locating the MIA owner of a lost cat. [more inside]
Electric Bike Newbie help
Hi everyone, wanted to find out first of any electric bicycle shops around the Kansas City metro area, any favorite shops, with tech support- and for those riders out there what brands and battery packages are your Favs . I'm not needing a foldable, just a solid bike with an excellent ride - for use around town or joyriding. Thanks for the help!
New York-Londonfilter: (how) do we decide to move to London?
My husband has dual UK-US citizenship and is in a career that keeps him pretty exclusively in New York. I am a US citizen. We love New York but also would like to live somewhere else, at some point, for some length of time. This was a hypothetical until a possible, rare, internal transfer opportunity with a short deadline to decide recently presented itself that would mean him doing the same work, but in London. I don't know how to make this decision! Have you done something similar? Can you help me figure it out or at least understand the logistics? More details inside. [more inside]
Tell me your favorite cold dinner recipes that aren't salad or gazpacho!
It is officially the hottest day of the year in my neck of the woods, and I'm serving dinner for six. We want a cold meal, and it needs to be vegetarian (not necessarily vegan) friendly! We're a little burnt out on gazpacho and greens salads, so what else can we prepare?
Bookfilter: Thought it was called "The In Six"
I read two books in the early '80s that I bought at a used book store; I thought the first one was called "The In Six." That's not correct - all my googling has turned up nothing. Essentially, six college students/grad students swap partners and practice various sexual techniques with each other, while pursuing their education. [more inside]
At-home bikini wax advice
I would like to give myself an at-home bikini wax, and I would like recommendations for specific products and techniques. [more inside]
Sure-fire indoor toddler activities
Will be on grandma duty for a week with a 2- and a 4-year-old, sometimes together and sometimes separately. Please help me be a good grandma in two ways: 1. Give me your best indoor activity ideas for good times together within a small apartment. (There are many ideas on Google, but I want to know what has worked for your family.) 2. I raised an only kid; what's the best response when the boy starts bashing on his younger sister, as he does? [more inside]
What is the carbon/material/environmental cost of loot boxes?
This is a bit of a dumb question, but it comes up when trying to put an ethical question to loot boxes and other 'game currency/goods/services' vs irl counterpart discussions. Given the estimates for the carbon footprint of something like bitcoin, I realized I was out of my depth. Considering things like processing, hosting, even work hours lost or physical things like gift cards for STEAM and EPIC. Is there a way to quantify this, even broadly? [more inside]
Help me write for the teevee!
My friend has happened into an Executive Producer role for a new syndicated daytime talk show which will be produced in a major non-California Western city. (Think lifestyle, health, food, good vibes). The star/creator has won an Emmy for an earlier daytime show and is a veteran of TV and radio. They want me to be a writer! NOW WHAT? [more inside]
2013 Subaru Forester Power Steering Leak
My 2013 Forester was at the dealer for the Takata airbag recall, and as part of the inspection, the mechanic apparently noted that I have a small power steering leak, which was chalked up to aging gaskets. The dealer quoted $1400 for parts and labor to fix, but advised it wasn’t an emergency and I would notice changes in steering before it became critical. I already have an independent Mechanic and have a periodic maintenance visit next month where I’ll get a second opinion. But I want a third opinion from Metafilter! [more inside]
How do you buy nice things?
How do you (as in, what is your process to) buy nice things for yourself? Have you overcome an overly frugal mindset? How did you make the shift? Do you treat yoself when it's financially OK to do so? How do you choose to treat yourself without going overboard? Tell me your luxury-buying ways. [more inside]
Introvert meets extrovert. Hijinks ensue.
How do I get to know someone I'm interested in? How do I let him get to know me? [more inside]
How should a ladies suit fit?
I mostly know how to dress myself like a grown up, but I need a suit for next week. Can someone please show me pictures of what a well-fitting ladies suit should look like? I'm mostly concerned about the jacket/blazer side of things. I've found some fit guides online, but they are all woefully under-illustrated for me. [more inside]
August 22
Dog questions redux (tiny dog edition)
Around a month ago, my beloved rescue Huggy (of many earlier questions) died of a sudden heart attack. I miss her dreadfully, but I feel like I kept my promise to make sure she was a princess the rest of her days. Now because of a number of reasons, I'm taking in two middle aged chihuahua mix dogs on a foster-to-adopt base and I find myself with a number of questions. Relevant topics: eyecare, neglect, introductions. small dog tips [more inside]
Is there an explanation for the onset of back pain as a stomach sleeper?
I've been a stomach sleeper as long as I can remember. However, over the past four weeks I've been waking up with lower back pain. Online searches suggest that is a common side effect for stomach sleepers - your lower back being forced to extend beyond its normal limits.
I've been trying to understand a) why has this started happening all of the sudden, and b) what is the solution? Many possibly pertinent details below. [more inside]
How to eat lettuce in winter
Our backyard is full of volunteer cos (romaine) lettuce, which is mostly being eaten by snails because it is winter here, and lettuce just does not feel like winter food.
Any suggestions for what I can do with it that will be interesting to eat in winter?
Child psychologist in New York City
Hi, my friend needs a psychologist for her 3.5-year-old daughter. Does anyone have a recommendation? Ideally in Manhattan (they live in Inwood), and preferably one who takes Aetna insurance (but that is not a requirement). Thank you!
Is this a gender thing?
Curious if gender socialization plays a role in what we do as soon as we get home (after work, errands, school etc). If you transitioned or are non-binary, please answer too. [more inside]
Help me conquer the world and still get a good nights sleep
I love strategy games like Civ, but the downside is that they take a lot of time to play, and all the "just one more turn"s add up quickly. Does anyone know of any fun similar games that can be played in a single sitting?
Places in the US that will host a queer lady magician
Which venues, cabarets, events, etc in the US (besides the West Coast) should I reach out to about performing some queer feminist stage magic in/around March 2020? [more inside]
"How is wire fraud even a choice on the Class Dojo drop-down menu?"
My daughter and I like to joke that she's committing various crimes at school and receiving negative classroom points for them. I need more suggestions about crimes she could commit. [more inside]
Name this non-science-oriented 'Far Side'-like comic
Trying to recall the name of a long-discontinued single-panel newspaper comic: [more inside]
Help me find the right kind of musical showing off
I’d like to train my ear and learn enough music theory to be able to confidently play popular music by ear. There’s loads of instructional videos out there, but what I want to see (for motivation and just for interest) is people with highly trained ears and theory brains showing off what they can do. [more inside]
Do I really need McAfee on my new laptop?
I recently purchased a Lenovo ideapad 330. Ever since setup, McAfee popups have been trying to browbeat me into subscribing, but my understanding was that Lenovo 330s came with Windows Defender, but I'm not finding that when I search my computer? Suggestions?
Will these urine test strips still be accurate?
The color of the unused leukocytes square on the strip (for UTIs) is not the same as on the bottle. [more inside]
Two questions about to-do list app features
I'm looking for to-do list apps that meets my needs for two different projects. Two specific questions within. [more inside]
Is it possible to prevent a brass ring from leaving a mark on my skin?
I got a lovely brass ring, only to realize that it turns my skin green/black after a couple of hours. What's the permanent solution? Is there one? [more inside]
Pantsfilter
Friend (M, 20s) is looking for slacks/dress pants. Major obstacle/snowflake: the crotch is often "too tight", independent of waist/inseam/rise/all other metrics known to us. [more inside]
What are these wheeled carts for?
The plates--or bricks, or whatever they are--inside these carts slide out and are made of metal; they're very heavy. These recently appeared in the hallway in the basement of a government office building. Can you tell me what they are?
How to use doubanjiang (without a good Chinese supermarket)?
Hey, it's the long-awaited (by me, anyway) follow-up to my 2012 question on where to buy the stuff. I finally did! Now, I want to crowdsource ideas for what to cook with it. What are your favorite recipes that use doubanjiang + ingredients I can find at a regular US grocery store? [more inside]
Spiders or spider mites?
Am I seeing a minor spider mite infestation or just spiders? I have a backyard cannabis garden (small and legal) in CA that is a few weeks away from harvest. It looks lovely. I am obsessing over one thing, though. [more inside]
Best medical alert device for MIL?
My mother-in-law will be moving to our town in a few months. Please help me figure out the best way medical alert device for her. [more inside]
Help me think through options of where in the US we should live
Me and my GF (future wife?) have been thinking about our future move back to the US from China (I'm dreading the move, but that's another thread ;). Right now the top city we are considering is Seattle, but we also want to consider smaller cities. Snowflake details within! [more inside]
How can I set up an internal company email digest?
At my small (5 people) company I am regularly forwarding articles of interest, links to social media posts, etc. I'd like to try to organize it a little better. Is there a tool that I can add articles to as I come across them, and then will send out an email "digest" when I ask it to? I suppose people are using slack for this nowadays, but I work with some app-phobic people who need to receives this as an email. Thanks!
How to maintain existing friendships after sobriety
Newish sobriety (weeks), and looking for some non-alcohol centered activities to maintain relationships with friends who drink, but are not alcoholics. Because of me, almost all of our social activities in recent years have involved alcohol. [more inside]
How can I repair this door threshold?
The threshold under the door to our garage (not the garage door) has rotten away. What should I use to repair it? [more inside]
It's another vacation question!
I'm a stay-at-home parent to two young kids that I love very much. I want to take a solo vacation, alone, by myself, on my own in early December. Where should I go? [more inside]
When does kidsplaining become mansplaining?
At what point do you start to redirect a child who's telling you stuff you already know? How? [more inside]
How do I point Cloudflare to our site?
How do I point our domain name managed by Cloudflare to our site's server's IP address? Explain to me like I'm a donkey. [more inside]
Should I gain work experience before graduate school?
I am wanting to go to grad school, but I do not have much professional experience -- I will be doing an academic internship next year, but that will be all the professional experience I will have in my fourth year undergraduate degree. [more inside]
Suddenly Better Sex - What's Going On?
I've been happily married for quite a long time. Our sex life was fine until recently, when my libido and enjoyment of sex went up a lot, apparently for no reason at all. Is this a perimenopause thing? Isn't the opposite supposed to happen? [more inside]
August 21
Brief poem about anxiety
A few years ago I read a short (2-3 sentence?) poem about anxiety/fear. It may have been in The Sun or The Believer magazine. It went something like "You spend your life afraid that something will happen. Then it happens and you worry that it will happen again." Does anyone know the poem I'm thinking of?
Please Hope Me Find the Text of a Multilateral Agreement/Arrangement
a library patron is looking for the text of a trilateral maritime cooperative agreement between Indonesia, the Philippines, and Malaysia that was signed on July 14, 2016... [more inside]
How to keep resident cat from catching URI from foster...
I'm fostering a cat and treating her for a URI - I'm keeping her in a separate room of course, but what else can/should I do to protect my own cat from catching it? [more inside]
Negotiating salary when the offer is already enough
I just interviewed and got a job offer in another city close to family. The offer they made is less than what I make now but it's enough that I would accept the job since I really want to move closer to family. Should I still negotiate, and if so how? [more inside]
Help me find ONLY the duplicate files between folders
I have two folders full of images on my Mac with identical file names, and I want to find only the duplicates between them. [more inside]
How do I learn to be curious?
Over the past couple of years it's become clear to me that I am not what you'd call a "lifelong learner." It's not that there's something I want to learn, and I just can't motivate myself. It's that when it comes right down to it, I'm just not a very curious person, and there really isn't anything I want to learn. But there is so much that I ought to learn! So, how do I GET curious, at least about the things that matter to people around me? [more inside]
Make My CRM Training Session Fun
I will be leading a short (one hour) training session on our cloud-based CRM and need ideas on how to make it fun, interesting and useful. Have you attended a training that blew your mind? What did the facilitator do that made it successful? Are you an expert training facilitator? Share your magic with me! [more inside]
Home dialysis
Anyone have any experience with doing dialysis at home? [more inside]
21 and My Dogs - Your experience with Breed Identification tests?
I want to get some Doggo DNA tests to figure out the breeds of my mystery mutt rescues, but they are expensive as heck! Would love to hear about your experiences with these mail-in tests (e.g. Wisdom Panel, DNA My Dog, etc) [more inside]
"Hey, what happened to our other room?!?"
I'm about to move from a two-bedroom apartment to a one-bedroom apartment. I also have two cats who seem to be taking this calmly, but that's only because they haven't seen the new place. Should I be worried that they'll freak out at the smaller space? [more inside]
Laywoman-accessible, yet well-researched, biography of Machiavelli?
I recently read a children’s biography of Machiavelli, which piqued my interest but didn’t differentiate enough between documented history and the author’s personal opinion. Can anyone recommend an accessible and reputable biography of Machiavelli for adults? [more inside]
Where to stay in Chicago for a quiet, artsy vacation?
I'm planning a little getaway to Chicago for a few days in October. I've never been, and am looking for ideas for places to stay, whether it be neighborhoods or actual hotels/B&B's. (And a bit of specific advice on things to do -- details inside!) [more inside]
HeavyMetalFilter
Please help me establish mental reference points for the many subgenres of heavy metal music by recommending exemplars. [more inside]
Uggs and the dryer?
Battling an infestation of clothes moths. [more inside]
What are some great books to wean a kid off of Captain Underpants?
Don't get me wrong, Captain Underpants is really funny. But I do think the literary canon should consist of books not by Dav Pilkey. What are some great books for a kid with a 2nd-3rd grade reading level that might pull him away from C.U.? Classics or modern classics, ideally. Don't say Dog Man.
How do I imitate an old guy?
I have an audition tonight. A friend informed me that for the part I'm going for, I need to be able to channel/imitate the dad character. How do I do that as a relatively high pitched female? [more inside]
Advice on hiring a salesperson to sell advertising
I'd like to hire someone to sell screen ads for an independent movie theater. The ads play as a slideshow before the movies start. Seeking advice on compensation and related. [more inside]
How to phrase email for reference letters
I am mid-late stage in a very technical job hunt, and I've been told that reference letters would speed things along, and are a thing I should ask for, but have not been given a timeline. Can I get some help writing the requests? [more inside]
There are only five original ideas in any century. Who said it?
I thought this was an Oscar Wilde quote but internet searching is making me doubt this as I'm finding nothing.
Is the quote correct? Who said it? Am I misremembering it?
Can you all help me attribute this quote and if not remembered correctly tell me what it is instead?
Massage therapy for multiple sclerosis from the therapist PoV
When I search online I find a lot about massage as an ameliorative treatment for multiple sclerosis from the patient point of view, but not much for a massage therapist who wants to touch up those specific skills. [more inside]
Lost health insurance, state screwed up the exchange
I had Medicaid through the state of Arkansas, and lost it because I got a job. They were supposed to then send my information to healthcare.gov so I could get a plan through there, and they didn't. I can't reapply for either until the exchange opens again in November. Help? [more inside]
Advice on property markets in Edinburgh vs Glasgow?
I've unexpectedly received a legacy that will allow me to buy a flat mortgage-free. I'll likely settle in Edinburgh in the future, but am starting a masters degree at Glasgow this September. It might make sense to buy in the place I'm about to be, but I'm worried about being priced out of the parts of Edinburgh I'd like to buy in if I leave it any longer to buy. I think property prices in some areas have been growing at 10% a year? I don't know if Glasgow prices will rise fast enough to match, leaving me unable to buy and move to Edinburgh. [more inside]
How to Deal with Work Disappointment - Higher Ed Edition
I work for a university and I applied for a position above mine. I was led to believe that I would get it. I was encouraged to apply, etc. I did not get it. I am going to walk away when I can, but there's a snag... [more inside]
Why is everyone in this bar white?
Despite living in a diverse city, I often find myself in spaces where the vast majority of people are white, without looking for that. Why is this? [more inside]
Synonyms for “Origin Story”
What are some good synonyms for “origin story” that still have the pulpy connotation of the phrase? Bonus points for anything related to Marvel Comics.
Lovely lovely lakes in New Hampshire or Vermont
My s.o. and me will be spending two weeks in New England. To acclimatise (we're coming in from the UK) we would like to spend 3-4 nights at a nice lakeside cottage in either New Hampshire or Vermont (ca 4-5 hours drive from Boston). There seem to be loads of lovely cottages available for hire, but we can't decide on the location (would be nice to have something to visit/do while we're there).
We would be grateful for any suggestions.
August 20
Where to eat near Portland convention center?
I could use some restaurant suggestions near the Portland, Oregon convention center. [more inside]
Fun ways to learn Brazilian Portuguese from zero?
What are some fun ways to learn Brazilian Portuguese, starting from nothing? I'm specifically hoping to find something that I can get obsessed with and spend hours on. I do use Duolingo, but I find it's too tedious to spend more than an hour on. Any suggestions are appreciated!
What are some things I can do to sound more professional on the phone?
I've been told that when I speak on the phone, I tend to sound much younger than I actually am. I think that it could be because I sometimes say "like" a lot. But, I wonder if there are other things I could be doing to sound better on the phone. What are some things I can do to sound more professional on the phone?
Is lying ever forgiveable?
I've known someone for 8 months through work 6 mo that ago he asked me for a date and hit it off. We have been official since. I'm 35 single mother of one.
I've been cautious and have done all the right things in my dating life. Single for three years but have dated a few times. When I met him, things felt easy, never forced or wondered where things were going. Really put in genuine effort to get yo know me my daughter and family. I've never inteodiced her to anyone to her or my family.
After a great weekend away with family he decides to tell me he has a 12 mos old. Im hurt and very sad by this bc he has had many opportunities to tell me, especially given fact I'm a single parent. I feel like the carpet was pulled from me. Someone I actually thought I saw a future with and I fee betrayed because it just felt right. He's appologetic of course maintains that he felt scared that I would run if o had known. I feel heartbroken and sad bc I always have him stable ground to be honest with everything in his past. I've already asked him to leave. My daughter and family grew close to him, and so did I. I felt a love I thought was real and now overnight it's gone. Before I completely close this chapter, is there any hope to this? Is this forgiveable?
Play sequential videos in a folder
It should not be this hard [more inside]
How do you use your health insurance?
We [spouse + me] have family health insurance through work, with a very high deductible [several thousand dollars]. My understanding is that the yearly preventive exam [free] would become a paid medical expense if we were to tell the doctor something was wrong with us, or if something was found to be wrong, during the exam. [more inside]
Please don't group me
Twice in the past month my cell number was added to a groupme thread. They have the wrong number and I have exited the group both times. This is likely the same people again (once for dancing, now for cheerleading). How can I stop them from adding my number to the next group? I replied to say wrong number before exiting this time. [more inside]
Another bored cat question
We call our cat, Pumpkin, the two-minute cat. After two minutes of anything (besides sleeping), she walks around the house yowling, chirping, moaning, singing the song of her people, and generally sounding like she is on the brink of a very painful death. She is not, of course. [more inside]
Room for low-income group therapy work in Harlem?
We help young formerly incarcerated men come back into community, find mentorship, and heal. We're Harlem-based and looking for a space to run our circles -- 10-15 or so men, weekly. The circles last 2-3 hours, and our budget is limited. Would anyone have any contacts or ideas? [more inside]
Lounges at BB&T pavilion in Camden, NJ
I am attending a concert at BB&T pavilion in Camden, NJ this weekend and would like to access one of the lounges. However, it is completely unclear what the difference is between the River Garden Deck, the Live Nation Lounge and the VIP Club - any advice? [more inside]
Delicious-smelling body lotion
My legs are kind of dry--I'd love a recommendation for a scented body lotion. [more inside]
Can you identify what kind of power cable I need?
I own a Samsung SyncMaster P2770 monitor, model code ls27efhkuf/za and I misplaced the power adaptor and cable during my recent move. Can you help me figure out what replacement part to order and where I can order one from? (Ideally in Canada.) [more inside]
Am I dumb for keeping my bass guitar unfinished
Years ago, I bought a bass guitar secondhand – a Fender Bullet Bass Deluxe – secondhand, from someone who might've been planning to refinish it. Which means that it came unfinished. The body is, simply, wood. I've toured with it, recorded albums, played innumerable practices. But am I still tempting eventual fate by keeping it sans-paint? [more inside]
Incorporating English for bilingual toddlers
My wife and I both speak English and Spanish, and we've been speaking to our 2.5-year-old twins exclusively in Spanish since they were born. At this point, they're both very talkative in Spanish, but we're wondering if or when we should start incorporating more English. [more inside]
Addictive Podcasts for a Road Trip
Please recommend to me some of the finest, addictive serial podcasts for an upcoming road trip. [more inside]
The plague that never ends
YANMD. For over two weeks now, I've been totally knocked down with some kind of crud. My doctors have done a ton of tests and I've done a course of antibiotics, so my doctor thinks this is viral. That theory makes sense to me, but I'm wondering how common it is for a virus to last this long? If you've experienced it, can you tell me more? [more inside]
Midi Sequencer?
Trying to save for a sequencer. And I am conflicted and looking for any thoughts. Primarily I'm thinking $800 or less.
So far I have a Volca FM, Volca Drum and PO-12.
I used to have some original Electribes (ER1, EM1, EA1), so I'm comfortable with the "Korg" way in general but am open to others.
Looking for dedicated/standalone (so no Maschine type samplers or Launchpad). [more inside]
Weird sleep issue with odors
Asking for a friend who doesn't have an account here:
So a weird thing happened to me today. I was fast asleep only to suddenly wake and bolt up. I felt weird like I'm gunna puke. But the weird thing was a had this smell that was like stuck in my nose. I've never smelled anything like it. [more inside]
How much to pay mom's boyfriend for watching the house?
My Mom passed away last autumn, and she made provisions to enable her boyfriend to stay there over the winter, because it's harder to move in the winter and harder to sell a house anyway. So the deal was that he would stay there until the house sold, and he would take care of everything like shoveling snow and mowing the yard. He would pay the bills out of a fund mom had put aside for the purpose. [more inside]
Where to buy British puzzle magazines in France?
A friend is staying in the Vendée near La Roche-sur-Yon. She has forgotten to take any puzzle magazines with her. Where might she be able to buy British puzzle magazines? She has tried a large supermarket.
Is it plausible that my vacuum insulated mug stopped insulating?
It seems to me that my 2 year old daily-use stainless steel double wall tumbler is not keeping water as cold as it once did. Is it likely the seal on this could have failed, or is my perspective being skewed by hot weather? [more inside]
Swapping SIM cards between two iPhones...
I have an iPhone 5s, and my wife has the iPhone 6s+. We want to switch phones, so that I can use the 6s+ but with my phone number, contacts, etc. from my 5s, and she will use my 5s but with her phone number, etc. from her 6s+. I think I can just swap the SIM cards and restart the phones with our Apple IDs, but I'm not sure it's that simple... [more inside]
Adirondacks in Late September
We're going to upstate New York from September 24-October 3rd! We are taking the train to Albany and will be renting a car while we're there. Since we got a late start in planning, we're open to suggestions for what to see and do, what to avoid, where to stay, etc. [more inside]
Should my E&O insurance cover my personal name, or my LLC's name?
I do contract computer programming and (since 2018) I do this as a single member LLC. I am careful to do business only as the LLC, I keep company and personal finances separate, etc. How should I carry my errors and omissions insurance for maximum safety? [more inside]
Tell me about St. Martin / St. Maarten
My wife and I are starting to think about Spring Break already. We live on the East Coast and have a stockpile of JetBlue points, so looking at where they fly and where it'll be warm in April. Our priorities are beaches, restaurants, and nightlife somewhere that we'll feel safe venturing off the resort or hotel property.
Puerto Rico has been our destination twice in the Caribbean - looking to try somewhere different this time. St. Maarten has grabbed my attention, but if you want to make a case for somewhere else in the Carribean go for it.
How to make a company style guide work?
My company has never had a style guide and wants one to standardize our communications. We are about 600 employees across six offices, several using Commonwealth English. We use Macs and PCs and Office products. We want offices who use Commonwealth English to retain their spellings and punctuation. We have a lot of people creating work that goes to clients and conferences. [more inside]
Renting a car seat in Seattle
Any recommendations? [more inside]
Find my quote on performance expectations
Years ago, I remember reading a quote about performance expectations. It was something about how we think we judge our standards by the best work we receive, but our actual standard is the lowest quality work that we accept. I think the line was in a book about teaching (and so the context was about teachers setting the standard as the worst student work that they would pass or would not require to be resubmitted). I have no clue how to track down this quote!
I think I'll try...Nebraska?
I don't know of anything in Nebraska so I'm looking for any fun roadside attractions or cool places to stay the night on a road trip from MN to CO. [more inside]
earth symbol for tattoo
I am a middle-aged woman getting her first tattoo. I want it to be a symbol of the planet earth. [more inside]
Can't Write to Partition on External Drive
My USB external drive has two partitions (partition 1 is "Mac OS Extended", partition 2 is "Mac OS Extended - Journaled"). I've had this set-up for years with no problems.
Suddenly Partition 1 won't let me write. Its "Get Info" says "You can only read", even though permissions grant me read/write privilege. Here's "Get Info" for both partitions. Help?
SharePoint, so basic I'm embarassed
How can I upload a file from my computer so it becomes the latest version of an existing SharePoint document? [more inside]
Best hot-weather dashcam
Help me buy a dashcam that will survive Florida summers [more inside]
Home server for a mostly Mac household
I’ve waxed poetic about my 2009 Mac Pro, which has been a workhorse for years. Recently, it’s been something of a home sever, including as a Plex server. It’s getting less reliable and may need to be replaced. Most likely Mac would be a Mini, but there’s the Apple premium and the Mini hasn’t been updated in about a year (I’m well aware it was not updated for years before that). Should I get Mini, or look at a small PC desktop? [more inside]
"Mantequilla" in New Zealand?
It looks like (at least some) butter in New Zealand (like this) is referred to as "Mantequilla". This looks suspiciously like a Spanish word to me, but my quick Googling isn't turning up a reason why the New Zealanders would refer to it this way.
Does anyone know where this comes from?
How can I get my washer and dryer to text me when they’re done?
How can I get my washer and dryer to text me when they’re done? [more inside]
Garment mysteriously stinks of skunk, how to stop it?
Last week I went for a walk in the park. While there I thought I walked past a group of people smoking. On the way home I thought a heavy weed smoker had sat behind me on the bus. The woman who sat beside me gave me such a funny look when she got up! When I got home spouse actively stopped himself from asking what I'd been smoking. Younger person visiting started looking for secret weed stash. Smell eventually traced to newish pair of trousers I was wearing that had just been washed. I don't smoke anything or take weed in any shape or form. [more inside]
Help me find a clue to the password for my encrypted iPhone backups.
So apparently I encrypted my iPhone backup using iTunes. And apparently I didn't save the password down anywhere because I was like "oh that's so easy, of course I'll remember it." Which means now I can't. And I need to. I've now tried 70+ passwords, I've gone through my diaries of the days I did the last restore, nothing. So is there ANY way I can get a clue as to what it is? A first letter. Number of letters. SOMETHING.
Sand in Pelvic as in Radiology Finding - Looking for Specific Name
Hi, so a while back did some imaging - I believe it was CT - and the radiologist report noted that there was a form of calculi or something akin to *sand* in the pelvic area. It is apparently a rather common finding and in most cases benign. [more inside]
Drug addiction and starting university.
I've relapsed and have fallen back into addiction and I'm supposed to be starting university in September. I'm not sure what I should do and need some advice. [more inside]
August 19
Help me find a light, fast travel laptop?
Anyone wanna help me find the best laptop I can currently get on Amazon? I'm looking for a Windows laptop, solid state drive, under three pounds, and, ideally, under $500. What's my best current option? Direct links welcome, because I am in a rush and feeling (in)decision fatigue. [more inside]
Ideas for climate strike for young kids (Sept. 20th)
I'm trying to think of ideas for how my kid's primary school could get involved with the Global Climate Strike this September. [more inside]
What are the first few chords the pianist plays in this video?
Its Post Modern JukeBox's cover of Cranberries' Zombies. I'm studying piano chords and would love to know!
That’s some good ink, bub.
Wolverine has regenerative powers. A lot of vampires, werewolves, and similar creatures have the same. Can they get and keep tattoos, or would their powers erase them?
I’ll never be as good a mother as you, but I’m trying!
I’m 12 weeks postpartum with a lovely baby. Everything is going well, except for breastfeeding issues, so I’m exclusively pumping. I am also transitioning back to work. This has all been very stressful, in addition to the usual overwhelming feeling of being a new parent. In addition, I feel judged by my mother on my mothering. [more inside]
managing a delicate web of stakeholders?
I I just started an amazing job, one that I want to really shine at. I need a way to manage my interactions with and store knowledge about a large, complex stakeholder network. Do you know of tools or techniques that can help? [more inside]
Best pizza delivery to TWA Hotel/JFK Airport
What’s the best pizza place that will deliver to the TWA Hotel at JFK Airport? [more inside]
How do I call someone in Europe from the US for free?
I need to call someone in Europe to conduct an interview for something I'm writing. I don't have international calling on my cell phone, and neither does he (he's American with a US cell number). How can I do this for free? [more inside]
Loooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg Cons
Looking for the title of this book from a comment in the recent forgery FPP:
BlahLaLa: One of my favorite novels concerns a family of forgers who, for generations, have been playing the long game: each forger makes forgeries of contemporary art of the era, using all the usual contemporary supplies—the paints, the canvas, the wood for the frame, etc.—then puts away the art to be stored for decades or even centuries, so later family members can "find" them and sell them as originals. And everything checks out because it's all authentic, except the actual artist.[more inside]
Staying warm at night
So I live alone and therefore sleep by myself . I get cold easily due to the minus temperatures we get in this part of Australia. I tried adding a sleeping bag to my regular duvet but it kept falling off, so I bought two wool blankets, but they also fall off. I can’t afford to keep the heater on all night but am using it for a few hours in the evening, as well as wearing pyjamas. What else can I do to stay warm enough overnight?
Hemline reassignment surgery
I'm looking for a trans or trans-friendly tailor in Boston for dress shirt alterations. Queer Exchange has, sadly, led me to dead ends, and I'm not comfortable taking this to a cis rando whose comfort with trans genders and bodies hasn't been tested. (A known trans-friendly cis person is fine.) Who do you recommend, or where else should I look for recommendations?
Looking for rural accommodations: convenient, comfortable, cheap
Mx. spindrifter and I are going to a friend's wedding in late September about an hour outside Pittsburg. We're trying to figure out the best accommodations for both of us, and we want to get creative about our options. [more inside]
Microfiber Laundry Ball: Is it BS?
I saw these microfiber laundry balls in a store recently and was intrigued. My question: Is this bullshit? Would it actually help the environment if I bought and used one, or would it just make me feel good? Non-PR sources preferred.
How do you research travel?
What are your go-to guides for tourist info? How do you educate yourself on what you want to do at night in a new continent? (assuming you aren't visiting to meet a local friend.)
Capitalization question
I'm doing a website called "Luxury by Design," but it seems to me the 'b' in "By" should get capped when referring to the site by name. "By" is a preposition, yes, but when used in the sense of "according to" or "by agency of" ... doesn't it look better treated as a main word?
Building out a desktop computer 2019 edition
I'm finally looking to upgrade my system after 5 years with no major modification. I haven't kept up with hardware tech so am looking for component advice on a new CPU, GPU, and RAM. [more inside]
Cats can't clean everything by themselves
Could you please give me all your best cleaning tips and "hacks"? Especially looking for advice from people who have cats. More details inside [more inside]
How do I get my shit together?
I'm a very late 20's female with ADHD, and it's kicking my ass. Im at risk of losing my job. Later this week my boss and I are going to meet and he expects me to have some strategies in place. Any and all advice welcome. [more inside]
What is the best anti-malware program for Mac OS?
My Mac laptop (MacBook Pro, 15 inch, 2018 running OS version 10.14.6) has recently started acting up. I am suspicious I inadvertently installed something I shouldn't have, possibly during an Adobe update. What is the best tool to scan my Mac for malware and delete it? [more inside]
learning, teaching, learning teaching
How do you continue to grow and improve as an instructor? (Note this is not a question about collecting feedback or pedagogical recommendations so much as the meta-cognition around reflecting, assessing, and growth). [more inside]
Gong at non-religious wedding
My partner and I are having a secular wedding ceremony in October. We're both atheist/agnostic white cis guys who play multiple musical instruments. Weirdos that we are, we're considering using a gong in the wedding ceremony, but I'm concerned about that it might be viewed as racist cultural appropriation. [more inside]
Fertility panic: Please help!
I'm 34, about to be 35, and I am really panicking about my ability to conceive and timelines. And also that I'm going to drive my boyfriend away with panic. Please help. [more inside]
plus size women's clothing recs - nth edition
A UK-specific question. I am seeking plus-size women's clothing retailers (online preferred). I am a veteran of the UK plus size high street and of stalwarts like ASOS, Evans and the plus size lines of New Look, Dorothy Perkins etc. None of them sell quite what I am seeking. I feel like questions like this get posted frequently, but I thought I would post this in case there are new retailers I am unaware of. [more inside]
Help for dandruffy kitties.
I have two 6 year old male cats who are very healthy and active overall, except for a lingering case of dandruff. They have been to the vet for annuals this year, and she wasn't too concerned about the dry skin, but I'd love to figure out a way to address this. [more inside]
Help me find a bike for poor giants
I want a really big, strong bike that does not cost several thousand dollars. I don't care about weight. I weigh 200 pounds and usually have a 30 pound backpack on. I am over six feet tall, with long legs. I bike every day, in rain and in snow, on poorly maintained roads and over curbs. I want a bike that is not constantly snapping spokes and that does not cost thousands of dollars. [more inside]
How to Open Dropbox Folder in Finder via Menubar Icon
I've got the newfangled DropBox app for Mac desktop. I used to be able to open my DB folder in Finder as an option via the app's menubar icon, but that no longer seems possible (OTOH the issue doesn't google, which usually means I'm doing something dumb).
How much should I clean up after my housemates?
So, I've recently moved into a new place, but I'm only here for a few months, so I can't go making big changes to the way things work.
Thereis no schedule for housework in place, people mostly keep to their rooms when alone, but the kitchen and bathroom in particular need some remedial work. I'm happy to just do what I feel needs doing, but am concerned about getting my housemates offside if they take my cleaning up after them as unspoken critique. [more inside]
Most polite way to refuse offer of food
I have a lot of things that don't agree with me and also follow a fairly strict eating regimen. I'm in the situation a lot where I'm in people's houses and they offer me food as a sign of hospitality. If I say something like "thanks, but my stomach's been bothering me today, so I'm fasting"--it kind of feels like too much information (and it's negative) and it often seems to result in people thinking "ok, I'll try again next time."
Any suggestions for better approaches would be appreciated.
Long-Distance Pressure
I’ve spent the past 9 months in a long-distance relationship that has been really lovely, full of a lot of compatibility and ease and trust. But it’s unclear how/if we’ll ever be not long-distance in the future, and bringing it up makes my boyfriend feel pressured. I’m not sure what to think/do. [more inside]
What is my best privacy strategy for a work smart phone?
I work for a large tech company that requires us to carry smart phones. I would like to keep as much information to myself as possible, but I don't want to pay for a private phone -- I don't use my phone too much. What's my best way to approach this? [more inside]
Getting Things Done for Artists
I am looking for books that advise artists with day jobs on how to make the most of their limited time and energy as well as get their butts into the chair. [more inside]
Fall is almost here - in search of cozy books!
Looking for a specific kind of cozy that has a domestic, connected-with-nature, everything-will-be-alright vibe. If it features homesteading, dogs, fireplaces, children or wise grandmothers - all the better! I especially like it if the cozy protagonist goes against the grain of the established system.
Things that have been the right kind of cozy for me before below the cut: [more inside]
Find me a new running playlist podcast like "Whiskey & Bananas"
For my running workouts I've been using Whiskey & Bananas, a playlist podcast by the ad agency OKRP, that I found more or less serendipitously on Apple podcasts. This is peak running podcast for me, it combines fun, funk, a bit of irony / melancholy, and, crucially, mostly a good beat that you can plod to. Please help me find a new one that's as good (difficult) as or better (impossible?) than, preferably on Apple podcasts, although I'm not averse to getting a new app if the pod is good.
August 18
Help me make a world history syllabus out of novels
I recently read a couple of historical novels, one set in Ancient Greece and one in the Roman Empire, and now I have a hankering to create a “world history syllabus” that’s composed entirely of novels. Please help me flesh out the syllabus by telling me about good historical fiction you’ve enjoyed — the more detailed and historically accurate, the better. [more inside]
When did large title cards in TV/movies become popular?
When did the recent trend of large onscreen font to show a scene's location start? [more inside]
Books about cognitive / psychological biases?
I've just encountered this long list of cognitive and psychological biases, and I've had a ball of a time reading through them. What are some recommended books that go into these biases in more detail, particularly from a psychological or evolutionary perspective? [more inside]
How to allocate limited time to lots of work
Short version: How do I, as a disabled freelance writer and would-be mindset and motivation coach, allocate 6 hours a day, 6 days a week, towards my various work pursuits? Any and all input is welcome. Thanks! [more inside]
How to mount Ikea Hovet mirror
I need some advice about how to mount this large mirror in drywall, or who in the Seattle area I should have do it for me. [more inside]
What is this mystery medieval-ish weapon?
What is it? My son won it at the Great Lakes Medieval Faire. What is this probably imaginary thing? My husband said “mumble mumble Warhammer.”
Winterize my car or buy another?
I'm thinking of bringing my 2008 Toyota Yaris from the west coast to New England. It has 220k miles but still drives fine. However I'm worried about wear since I have no experience driving manual in snow/ice, and parking would be uncovered. OR should I get another (more reliable) car once I've relocated? [more inside]
Cultural differences in conflict resolution
Are there any cultures where telling someone that something they did or said bothered you would be unacceptable? [more inside]
Interview protocol question, too weird for Ask A Manager
Interview with a former employer on the horizon, and wondering if/how to broach a mental health diagnosis that has happened since we last worked together. Difficulty: the diagnosis was a godsend and has made me a way better employee. [more inside]
Can you identify this scene from the Fox TV series Empire?
Someone is looking for answers. They go to a house to speak to the person living there (a woman?), but that person refuses to talk. So they begin to leave, but see someone else (a man?) mowing the lawn. The investigator stops them to inquire, and that person is more responsive. [more inside]
I did not get into this for the gear, I got into it for results
How did people in the olden days cut precise quilt pieces without Olfa rulers and rotary cutters? I’d like to cut reasonably precise pieces without tools beyond scissors and a regular ruler. Is there a book about this? Any kind of detailed instruction? I’d prefer pictures to video but I’ll take either. [more inside]
Maybe I should just leave it for what it is... a crush...
I ran into someone yesterday that I had found very attractive and thought I'd very unlikely see again. Help me figure out if 1) is he really interested back, or maybe he was but no longer is? and 2) should I mention that I'll be travelling very soon and would like to bring him back a gift? Would that be going too far? As you might expect... lots and lots of snowflakes inside. [more inside]
Does “banning” bad things actually work?
I was wondering if there are any examples unrelated to gun violence, where “banning” something has demonstrably proven to be effective at whatever perceived problem the ban was intended to remedy? [more inside]
What kind of car?
What kind of practical, reliable used car works well with 2 babies, city driving, and street parking? [more inside]
Chicago horror movie hosts, pre-1970
I know Svengoolie was a horror movie host on Chicago’s WGN from the 1970s onward. Which horror movie hosts we’re syndicated on Chicago TV in the 1960s? I’m specifically looking for 1968 and 1969, if that helps.
Copyeditor help, please
Hi. The sentence I'm editing reads, "the services that infrastructure deliver haven't changed." Now, "infrastructure" being a mass noun, countable or uncountable, would mean you can say "infrastructures deliver" or "infrastructure delivers," but not "infrastructure deliver," right?
I fixed my indecisiveness, why are people annoyed?
I had a reputation among family and friends for being too passive/indecisive (in response to 'where shall we eat tonight?'-type questions). So I started being decisive in these situations. Now people are annoyed at that too. Help me understand what is going on in their minds. [more inside]
Sigh, Inc.
In a few months' time, I will have to return to work from maternity leave. I am fabulously lucky in that there are technically two jobs to which I can return. But I don't want either of them. Or do I? I think I want to try my hand at finding something closer to home. Or do I? Can you help me come up with a plan and address some resume questions? [more inside]
Taming the mechanical dragon's breath
Which non-fascist extreme metal or punk tune would be the best one for me to "sing" on an xlerator hand dryer? [more inside]
Trying to find a YouTube archive of Florida cable shows
A few years ago, I found a YouTube channel that was full of archive clips from a late 80s/early 90s public access TV channel, I think based in Florida - one was a music video filmed k Tampa Beach. For the life of me, I can't now find it - does this ring any bells?
Dark deconstructions of children's TV shows/characters?
I've read fantastic, dark - often very political analyses - of TV shows like Thomas the Tank Engine, Teletubbies, Mr.Blobby, and Sesame Street's Oscar the Grouch.... but I'd like to find some more. What other dystopian, playful, surreal, philosophical, deconstructive readings of kid's television shows/characters are out there? [more inside]
Are Their Good OnLine Ways To Look For a Used Car Besides Craig's List?
I would like to purchase a used Honda CRV.
For me, Craig's List is a crap shoot. My current resources are such that I would to like to have a vehicle as fully vetted as possible before I see the owner.
I am looking for a better on-line alternative.
Best video camera under $100?
What is the best video camera for under $100? [more inside]
Built and primed a shed yesterday, rained overnight. Paint today?
The shed is made of lumber and plywood. The primer was Zinsser 1-2-3. It's small enough that we can towel it off, but I think it rained pretty hard and the shed is in a shady spot, so I don't know how much water the wood might have absorbed in spite of the primer, and conditions continue to be pretty humid. Temperatures are about 65F now, high of about 75F.
August 17
Hair lightening for the fragrance-sensitive
I want to lighten my hair so I can use a bigger range of colors (I use Arctic Fox). However, I have really bad sensitivities to certain chemical scents, including chlorine bleach and ammonia. What are my options? [more inside]
Luxurify my bath
Looking for ways, big or small, to upgrade my bath experience. [more inside]
Best way to get good used car for under $5,000
Just totaled a 2010 honda civic with 140,000 miles.
Looking for similar car that's been well maintained for 5,000-8,000 that will last me a couple years without any big hiccups along the way, and be able to withstand some roadtrips. Is that possible to find? I hear maintenance matters more than miles or age.
Also...
I've heard maintenance and service reports are free on CarMax. That doesn't appear to be true from what I can tell. Anyone know for sure?
Thanks!
Advice for acting: playing a younger character
I've somehow ended up playing a younger version of myself in a scene tomorrow. In public. With all the other actors being much younger than real me. It's not a work of genius, either - I wrote it. I would probably find this excruciating to watch. Any ideas on making this non-excruciating? [more inside]
Best conditioner for post-menopause hair? (Hair not thinning but weird)
I always had plenty of fine, shiny, somewhat oily hair. Cue menopause. Now I have dry-ish thicker somewhat frizzy hair. Any suggestions on conditioners (particular brands) or other strategies? I've been experimenting with leave-in conditioners. Also, I only use shampoo about once a week and otherwise just use conditioner in the shower.
Help me clarify the unwritten rules about naming dogs
Hi. I don't own a dog yet, but I might in a year or so, and I don't want to screw up her name. What are the unwritten rules about naming dogs? I've only had cats, and I know those rules. Dogs are a mystery. Please help me understand dog naming. [more inside]
Good morning, Mornington
As a northern ‘burbs gal, I am excitedly looking forward to housesitting in Mornington (Victoria, Australia), on the Grand Final long weekend - so close to the beach! What should I check out on the way to, and on, the peninsula? [more inside]
Open source Plex alternatives for music libraries?
I'm using Plex right now for music streaming of my collection, but I'd like something that's open source and a bit better for music specifically. Specifics inside. [more inside]
Robert Alter (or others) translation of Isaiah 46:3-4
I want to do some art referencing Isaiah 46:3-4 and I need the right translation. I heard good things about Robert Alter's version, so I would love to see his translation of those two lines, if anyone has access to it. I would also be curious if there are other variations that you love. It is for someone who is Jewish and liberal thinking (ie not gendering God as male would be good).
Soft tomes for hard times: ultimate literary escapism
Please recommend the best escapist literature. [more inside]
Stephen Colbert Bible Verse Discussion
I'm looking for where Stephen Colbert discussed a bible verse. I don't necessarily need the clip, so much as where/when it occurred. I'm positive it was either on The Colbert Report or The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (I'm leaning towards The Colbert Report), and I'm pretty positive it was during an interview segment. I was astounded by Colbert's memorization and unpacking of the Bible. I feel like the two people were having a contest in terms of who had memorized the Bible more, though I may be wrong. I feel like the main passage that Colbert discussed was Jesus turning water into wine/the marriage at Cana. I've searched for these terms online and can't find anything.
Tell me about your migraines (other than the obvious)
Help me gather some data: What symptoms do you experience before, during and after a migraine other than a headache? [more inside]
curly hair woes
I have a vague, ill-formed idea of what I want my hair to do, but I have no idea how to describe or achieve it - making it difficult to get good info from the internet. Maybe someone could help me figure out what it is I'm trying to accomplish? [more inside]
Can you recommend restaurants in San Francisco?
This is our first time in SF (two parents, one gluten-free, and two picky kids). We’re looking for places to eat that are good but not necessarily expensive. Kind of like the best taco joints , best diners, other low cost places. We’ll be exploring the cable cars, the Exploratorium, and the sound/wave installation in the park in the northern part of the city. Thank you!
Which airline has the best travel point program?
I’m about to do a lot of traveling over the next several years. Recommend an airline for the best frequent flyer program. [more inside]
Recession and Fixed Income?
As luck would have it, I just had some treasuries come due, the bulk of the fixed income in my portfolio. My plan (based on advice from a fixed income specialist), was to reinvest the money in more treasuries using the ladder technique, something new to me. But now, with things changing so rapidly, it doesn't seem like that advice is relevant anymore, and I am not sure what to do. Move to CDs? Invest in a money market fund? Keep to the treasury plan? None of the above? [more inside]
How to get 7 year old niece to wear underwear or shorts when visiting?
My 7 year old niece has ADHD with some oppositional defiance and sensory issues. She has 2 skirts that she wears almost exclusively but always without underwear. She has, in the past, worn shorts or skorts and when fall comes she'll be wearing pants so the issue will resolve itself eventually.
I suggested using a safety pin on the inner layer of the skirt to "skorten" it but she refuses. [more inside]
Fibroids and fertility/pregnancy - experiences?
I've been diagnosed with a large submucosal fibroid which seem to negativity impact fertility. What are your experiences with fibroid and fertility or fibroid during pregnancy? [more inside]
Argentina by bus
Help me plan a trip through Argentina by bus! [more inside]
YANMD: Blackout while sleeping?
Twice while sleeping tonight, I experienced an outage. It felt like the house lost electricity, but it was me not the house. I've never had a blackout, but maybe this is what happened? I didn't have any alcohol today, so a blackout seems unlikely. But I don't know how else to explain it. YANMD, but do you have any idea what this could be? [more inside]
August 16
Help me politely be rude to an interviewer
I'm in the last stages of an interview for a job I am lukewarm about; my continued interest in the process is going to be completely contingent on benefits/salary range. I don't want to activate my references at all until I know more about those details, and I don't care if it tanks my candidacy. How do I politely convey this if I'm asked for references before I'm given more details? [more inside]
What fantasy and sci fi authors do you trust for happy endings?
I’m looking for folks who write fun adventures, but also ones in which the main characters generally not only survive, but also tend to find love, fulfillment, and happiness. [more inside]
Interesting, yet very safe for work, websites
I'm working at a temp job where I have nothing better to do most of the time than browse the internet. Can y'all give me recommendations for interesting websites? Ideally they'd be things to read, not games so I look sorta professional. I saw the Ask from 2016, which I'll check out, but maybe there's some new sites. [more inside]
Help me do seekrit stuff on WordPress
I need WordPress help. What I want to do shouldn’t be all that snowflakey, but hours of searching for answers hasn’t gotten me anywhere. [more inside]
Prejudicial food names?
I'm wondering, does anyone know any toponymic foods still with us, whose names originate in some form of prejudice? [more inside]
How do I promote my weird photoshop business?
I have made a couple books of kids I know having photoshopped adventures, like this -- Henry and the fairies, Wade and the dinosaurs, Adelina presenting a poster -- you guys helped with them actually! -- and now I'm thinking I'd like to do this for strangers in exchange for money. It seems like something some parents might want. How do I find those parents? My own kids are all grown up so I'm not part of any mom groups. Thanks for any ideas!
Short day-trips from Oakland
My partner and I (couple in our early 40s, no kids) are in Oakland and we're looking to do a day-trip tomorrow (Saturday). We have a car but we'd prefer something pretty close (say, 60-90 min drive max) and that will give us a chance to enjoy the outdoors but probably is not a straight-up hike. Thanks!
Do you know of a similar sewing pattern to this dress?
I love the style of this dress from Modcloth (the official title is the Saunter Sweetly A-Line Dress, haha), and I think it would be a great sewing project. I especially like the wide waistband and wrap-style top with a neckline that isn't too deep.
I don't care about the pleats in the skirt as long as it's of a similar fullness. [more inside]
Mystery flies
I need help identifying flies in my bathroom. Alas, they are extremely small and do not photograph well at all, especially after being squished, but they often hook up in pairs that look like a stretched-out bowtie, seemingly butt to butt, and then move around like a human centipede if disturbed while hooked up. Lots more detail inside. [more inside]
Law School Cold Calls and Mental Health
My husband has been struggling with severe anxiety since attending law school, where merciless cold calls were the norm. Two years after graduating, he panics when he knows he'll have to speak publicly--even if it's in a meeting with twenty coworkers and all he has to do is say his name and position. Could this be some form of PTSD? Most of all, how do we treat this? [more inside]
Book gift for new baby in Philippines
My coworker is having his first baby next month. Yay! I want to send him a book as a gift. He is in the Philippines and I am in the US. What's a good book for him to read to his baby? [more inside]
Good history of enlightenment and revolutionary era radical thought
Political and philosophical history friends! I am curious about the outlier thinkers of the enlightenment and revolutionary eras (mainly 18th c. into the early 19th) and can't seem to find a good single volume to go over them. [more inside]
Another appropriation question
I, a white American woman, am really struggling with the idea of cultural appropriation, particularly with regards to home items that I (or family members) have bought or been given in countries with cultures that are not mine. I have read all of the recent questions and Googled to the extent of my skills, and I'm still not sure. Please help (anonymous because I feel like I should know this) [more inside]
Painter for hire?
I have a photograph I’d like painted on canvas. Not photo-realistic, but more like this style. Looking for recommendations for a painter or how to beat find one. Online is fine, but we’re local to Miami.
Low impact exercise, among other things
I love this routine from Les Mills and I really enjoy Fitness Marshall videos as well, because the only way to make me exercise is to make it as much like dance as possible, apparently. However, I do this at home and out of consideration for the downstairs neighbours, I tend to do all of it barefeet. Is that likely to be damaging to my (flat) feet/knees/some other body part that I haven't even considered? Am I just being paranoid and bouncing around in shoes wouldn't be as noisy as I think it would be or there are ways to mitigate the disturbance (nobody has complained...yet) Orrrrr, what sort of low impact exercises should I be looking at? Specific videos or folks I can follow on YT would be super helpful.
That's pretty much it. Thank you so much!
How can my home-bound friend volunteer his engineering and math brain?
I have a friend who is a former pilot and mechanical/aeronautical engineer. He's struggling with a mental health disorder and, for various reasons I can't get into, is mostly home-bound. How can he volunteer his science and math skills to help humanity and keep that part of his brain as fresh as he can? [more inside]
Help me relax in New Mexico
I'm struggling with depression and anxiety. I have a wide-open, obligation-free 5-day trip to New Mexico planned for September. What can I do to relax and heal around Santa Fe? [more inside]
Poetry markets?
I submit poetry occasionally. Most of the markets I submitted to a decade ago are gone or on hiatus (Goblin Fruit, Stone Telling). What are your favorite markets to submit to that accept poetry? I don’t know if markets are ever not free but I’m not really interested in paying to submit.
Trying to pick a new phone
I'm really torn between the Moto G7, the Pixel 3a, and the Pixel 3. I am more than familiar with the different technical specs and advantages. I'm still torn. Help me decide - if you've bought one of these three specific phones, do you love it or regret it and why? [more inside]
Tool to make a Twitter conversation more readable
Sometimes I want to read a tweet and lots of replies (say, this interesting one). But I find Twitter to be completely unreadable and if I go check out another tab it might lose my place. Are there any tools that will turn a Twitter conversation into something like a static webpage? [more inside]
Help me help myself - bossy coworker question
Last year my company hired a consultant. We had previously hired them for different work and were happy with them in that capacity. On the new project I found them to be overbearing and hated working with them. We wrapped up the project and I've been enjoying work again. Consultant just brought us a new opportunity that my boss wants to pursue. I am the key person doing the work/getting the credit, consultant would be the go-between.
How can I maintain boundaries and not hate this experience? Details that might be relevant and grievances below the fold. [more inside]
Pros and cons of spending a year in Canada
I have the opportunity to spend a year in Canada with the working holiday visa program they have. What pros and cons should I consider? [more inside]
Winter Joy Strategy
Every winter, I get very very sad and flat. I suspect SAD is at play (I live in Ontario). Every summer, I find a great rhythm and think "this is the year! this year I won't give in to the winter blues". Reader, it never works. [more inside]
Getting better at submitting work to journals
I write poetry and fiction and have been lucky enough to have a few things accepted by literary journals. But I'm terrible about sending things out. How can I get better? [more inside]
Brain fog on an antibiotic - has this ever happened to you?
So I'm taking a short course of a commonly prescribed antibiotic for an infected cut. I feel like I'm having a weird reaction to the antibiotic. [more inside]
If you give a mouse a cookie.... will he leave my house?
There is a mouse in our row house. He is terrified but still moving from room to room. We would like to lure him into a container of some sort, then scoop him up and set him free in the forest behind our house. Is there advice for this sort of thing? I'm sure pest control will be involved eventually but at the moment I am asking for a tearful and empathetic 10 year old.
Help me find a game like Civilization and SimCity
I've been playing the Civilization and SimCity games since I was a teenager. They are the only games I play. Please help me find a new game I might like. Must be playable on a PC or Mac laptop. [more inside]
Five hours in Philadelphia with an infant and luggage
We're flying to Philadelphia and will have some time to burn before we can check into our AirBnB. What can we do with a 10-month-old and luggage in tow? [more inside]
Capitalizing on a 25% off any item coupon at CVS
We have a CVS coupon for 25% off any one item. I think the only condition is that the discount is capped at $500 (making the coupon good on items regularly priced up to $2000). We take no expensive medications. The most expensive thing we buy at CVS regularly is La Roche-Posay’s sunscreen, but I feel like there must be some better use of this coupon than that, particularly at the end of the season. We already have an electric toothbrush. Any ideas for a product that will maximize this unusual coupon?
Dealing with dust allergies
Just got diagnosed with dust allergies. Dust allergy veterans, please help me learn what I should be doing/buying/not doing etc to manage them. [more inside]
Recommendations for how to build a Q&A based app?
Having spent many years training candidates for my profession's professional exams I would like to create a fun and simple Q&A app that candidates can use when revising. How should i go about doing this? (and is an app even the right solution??) [more inside]
August 15
Macbook Air not holding a charge
I purchased it about 3 years old, should this be happening already? [more inside]
Aspie menopause tips
I've used a lot of good strategies throughout my life to cope with the problems autism causes but I seem to have forgotten them in menopause. I'm withdrawing more from the world and avoiding work (casual flexible interesting autonomous job). I need a kickstart to get back to a productive healthy life. [more inside]
More like The Descent, less like The Shining
Scary or thriller movies minus the ghost children, exorcisms and torture? [more inside]
Syncing Chrome between two computers
I need to sync settings from Chromium on one computer to Chrome on another one but I'm running into problems. Details (and my possible stupidity) inside. [more inside]
Help me rock some pork tenderloins
We love pork tenderloins at our house. And I would make them more often, but except for using the meat in stir-fry and in this recipe, I don't know exactly what to do with them. Your ideas gratefully accepted and links to recipes much appreciated. Appropriate kitchen equipment, access to even esoteric ingredients, and reasonable cooking skills all assured.
A very American healthcare problem
I've had it with Medicaid. I need to see a doctor and a psychiatrist now, not months from now. What are my options? [more inside]
Should I take out Sallie Mae loans? If not, what should I do?
I’m an American graduate student living overseas. I’m starting my new program for a lucrative and exciting career in a few days. I was just informed that I have an unexpected 5 week gap before my student loans arrive, which I didn’t budget for.
How bad is it really to take out Sallie Mae loans to cover this month+?
Can I avoid the notorious Sallie Mae difficulties if I pay it back once get the other aid?
Are there any other providers or services that would be good for this short period? [more inside]
How to pitch going from freelance to FT employee?
I want a company that I've freelanced for ~10 years to bring me on as a full time hire. What are some convincing arguments I might use to make my case? [more inside]
How much will we pay in tolls driving from mid-Michigan to Maryland?
Yep, that's the question. Our destination is Boonesville, Maryland, specifically.
Neither Mr. Terrier nor I have driven on a toll road in generations. We'll be on the Ohio Turnpike for quite a spell. I understand that quarters don't do it anymore; better have dollars ready. But how much? Will they take credit cards? We do NOT have EZPass.
Accounting practices for software development costs
I have vague memories of reading about some changes in accounting requirements around development costs for software products. As I remember it, these had some sort of tax implication that is part of the reason why many companies have switched to a subscription model in recent years. Did something like this actually happen, or am I misremembering? [more inside]
Fear and anxiety, how to deal
For the past couple of months I’ve been experiencing near-constant anxiety and fear, not of anything in particular, just a strange uneasy feeling that blankets everything and makes me feel like I’m unsafe (even though I’m totally safe) or like something terrible is about to happen. I need some new coping mechanisms. [more inside]
What are backyards for?
Now that my kids are teenagers, no one uses the backyard for anything. Is there anything useful to do with the space, or should I accept that it's just something I need to mow and weed for the sake of my neighbors and otherwise ignore? I live in upstate New York. [more inside]
uberall
How do I stop unwanted Uber notifications? These aren't texts. These messages show up out of the blue at the top of my screen. [more inside]
Suggestions / Advice for a trip to Cabarete, Dominican Republic?
I'm heading to Cabarete, Dominican Republic, Sep 24 for a month. Will be staying on Kite Beach. Never been to the DR before. Suggestions? Advice? I'll be cat-sitting so no overnight trips, but pretty adventurous and not a picky eater. (I'll have a private local vegetarian chef for my stay as well so if there are local dishes you suggest I request, let me know.) Thanks!
Is there a way to stitch a large format design onto a wall hanging?
I'm making cloth banners and would like to stitch them using a digital template of some sort with a sewing machine. Does that kind of technology exist or do I need to free hand it? [more inside]
How can I baby proof my cats' litter boxes?
My daughter has mastered crawling and also developed a fascination with our cats' litter boxes. We'd rather she not enhance her culinary experience by eating anything that comes out of our sweet kitties. What is a good way to baby proof our litter boxes, or are there good boxes on the market? Thanks!
PDX to Manzanita; 4 hours, A foodie, 2 dogs
This Sunday we’re picking up our cousin at PDX around noon and driving to Manzanita, where our checkin Time is 4:00. He is a foodie/winery kind of guy, and we’ll all need to eat lunch in that time frame. (We’ve been to Manzanita dozens of times and don’t need advice about getting or eating there, thanks.) What route should we take- 26 or 6- that will provide a delicious but casual opportunity for lunch? Oh, yes, we’ll have our 2 dogs with us. . [more inside]
Seafood in Seattle
I’m visiting Seattle this month and am looking for recommendations for excellent casual dining seafood options. [more inside]
Concerts & scalpers in 2019
What’s it like to buy concert tickets from a scalper right outside the venue, in 2019? [more inside]
Short term HELOC?
Do HELOC's work for short term situations, where you plan to sell the home securing it in under a year? [more inside]
Getting rid of my smart phone (mostly)
My husband and I want to get rid of our smartphones. I think we can mostly do this, but I have some logistical questions. [more inside]
Mackinaw City overnight?
Mid-September I'll be staying overnight in Mackinaw City, to make a quick first-time visit to the island the next day. Mackinaw City looks to be packed with motels--any recommendations for which to choose (or avoid), or are they pretty much the same? [more inside]
I lost my therapist's number + now I 'm dealing with an emergency!
My phone totally shut down on me 2 days ago and then yesterday someone in my family had a serious accident. There is no one here with me right now and I'm under enormous strain trying to cope by myself. I really need to talk to my therapist but as I can't access my contacts, I don't know what to do. [more inside]
How do I express my concerns about functional medicine to my wife?
Is "functional medicine" as woo as it seems? Are there doctors who take this approach but keep it science-based, or is the unproven stuff (acupuncture, essential oils, herbal medicines) part and parcel of the approach? And how can I (or should I) keep my skepticism in check if my wife pursues this line of treatment? [more inside]
Transferring audio and hard-copy content to Word docs
I have some things I need to put into Word docs and could use some advice. [more inside]
August 14
Kicking it in Kobe
I'm in Kobe, Japan for the next five days. Today most stores and museums were closed because of the typhoon, so I'm taking this down time to plot the rest of my stay. I'm interested in art, design, infrastructure, disaster preparedness, matcha, and sake. I am celiac and I do not speak Japanese. This is my second time in Japan and my first time in Kobe. Please help me with your local Kobe knowledge! [more inside]
How to teach emotional intelligence to preschoolers
What are the best resources for teaching preschoolers emotional intelligence and the other things that they're developmentally primed to learn? What are good resources and guides and tools here? [more inside]
Is it too soon to look for a new puppy?
My beautiful puppy died unexpectedly a few days ago. I'm considering a new puppy. [more inside]
Help me find a nutritionist/meal planner for sick friend weight gain
My friend is seriously ill and it’s been messing with their appetite. They have no restrictions and can still eat whatever they want, but need help coming up with tasty and nutritious food ideas. I’d be happy to hear your tasty, nutritious weight gain recipes — but more than that, would love help finding a specialist who works remotely to whom I can refer my friend.
Blank / bogus books
Where can I get some nice-ish looking bogus books custom made for kind of cheap? [more inside]
Is there a budget color printer that doesn't suck?
I am sad to find that the lower-end color versions of my beloved Brother monochrome laser printer don't have very comforting reviews. Is there any consensus on a cheap - or I will settle for cheapER color printer - in the current general lineup? [more inside]
Is telling someone “I don’t want to talk about that” abusive?
My Mom has told me that the boundaries I'm asking for are abusive to her, and I'm scared she is right. [more inside]
Stories where the multi-headed creature defeats itself
I am looking for examples of stories in which a multi-headed creature's very multi-headedness is its downfall. The hero tricks the heads into bickering, or ties their necks in knots, or dodges when they attack so that they instead injure each other. Just generally turning this supposed strength into the means of defeat. I am more interested in situations where this is part of a fight or conflict, but examples where the creature essentially bumbles itself to death—the heads can't agree on what to eat, etc.—are also okay. [more inside]
Tips for everyday friending
Do you have friends you communicate with every day? If so, what does that look like? How do you engage a lot without becoming boring or overbearing? (I hope this isn’t chatfilter! I would like concrete examples of what’s worked for you that I can apply to my own friendships. I know my mileage may vary. I am an adult human but sometimes I feel like I didn’t learn this stuff too well.)
Go-to stores for Midcentury Modern decor?
I've inherited blonde Heywood-Wakefield dining set and a lookalike piano. I'd like more midmod inspired decor to go with this furniture. [more inside]
Tell us your Fukuoka and Nagasaki restaurant recommendations!
My partner and I are visiting Fukuoka and Nagasaki for a couple of nights each in September, and we'd love to hear your restaurant recommendations. We're adventurous eaters but we don't speak any Japanese at all. [more inside]
Silent Hill Let's Plays
I've been watching this Let's Play of Silent Hill 2 and really enjoying it. I'd like to watch other Let's Plays of other games in the series that are similar in tone. [more inside]
Is there a minivan in my future?
We are a family of four, including two little kids in car seats. For four months every year, we become a family of six, when grandparents stay with us for an extended visit. Our current car situation can't fit six people. Help me wrangle a car-buying decision. [more inside]
sixteenth century american gold and european textile costs
I have a story in my head but I don't know if it's true. When europeans came to central and south america in the 16th century, they found gold used as a decorative foil because the natives had no use for it besides decoration. Buildings were covered in it. At the same time, textile was one of the most expensive commodities in europe because it was incredibly time consuming to make. What might be the comparative cost of gold to the incas vs. textile to the spanish? [more inside]
What's the history of in-flight music?
I was listening to Joni Mitchell's song "This Flight Tonight" from her 1971 album Blue, and the lines "Got the headphones up high/ Can't numb you out/ Can't drum you out of my mind/ They're playing Goodbye baby, Baby Goodbye" made me wonder when in-flight headphones came into use, and what the technology was for playing back the music. When did multiple channels become an option?
Going back to school. Need carrying device.
So I'm starting grad school in a couple weeks and I'd like some recommendations on a suitable method of carrying things. I could always pick up a $30 generic backpack, but maybe there are better options. [more inside]
after all these years
Is it normal to experience a resurgence in grief a few years after the loved one has passed? How do I seek emotional comfort without being a burden on others? Are there productive/creative ways one can process one's grief? [more inside]
What's a car bumper worth?
Last night getting off the train and arriving at my car, a women came up, explained she'd bumped us and showed us where on our car (2016 Mazda 3) it's on the side of the car but looks like it's on the panel that wraps around to the fender). I'm trying to figure out next steps and what something like this is actually worth. [more inside]
Dying in place
My uncle in-law was recently diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and his quality of life is swiftly declining. He and his girlfriend are going to move into my house so that we can take care of him. Can you please help me get my logistical ducks in a row ? If you’ve been in this position what items have made things easier and what advice do you have ? [more inside]
getting rid of silverfish without hurting spiders?
Is there a way to get rid of silverfish without hurting the local spiders? Diatomaceous earth seemed promising, but it's bad for spiders. [more inside]
Single Task Oriented Light Fixture For Small Kitchen?
I need to get rid of my old ceiling fan (which is my only kitchen light fixture) and get some real task lighting hung in the same spot...any suggestions? [more inside]
Mortgage - recession proofing 2019
Buying our first house, can we protect ourselves against a possible recession in the next 5 years? [more inside]
Easy eating for lots of activity
I’ve upped my activity a great deal this summer. I’m going to CrossFit 4-5 days per week. This is seriously tiring me out, and I’m pretty sure that a big reason is what I’m eating. Right now I’m mostly eating microwave Quaker oatmeal and frozen meals from Trader Joe’s (Cod Provençale, Chicken Burrito Bowl). Those are about the level of effort that I want to put in. What else can I be eating at that level of effort so that I’m less tired all the time?
Gift for a new Canadian
My boyfriend is becoming a Canadian citizen soon. Help me think of a gift! [more inside]
What's in your bag - at a museum?
What's in your bag at a museum, that you a) do not want cloaked
and/or b) do not want to dig out of your bag at the counter and proceed to carry around in the plastic bag they offer you?
Am trying to get our local children's natural history museum to change it's "no backpacks" policy to address the actual issue of bulk, i.e. "no bags over X size". I'd also like better options than carrying around a plastic bag. [more inside]
Safe way to view online ads?
I'd like to learn more about online advertising and I want to check out some real-life examples, but I don't want to compromise safety or my own ad preferences. Is there a safe way to interact and explore targeted ads online? [more inside]
She's here - now what?
My sister has been unemployed for several years. Our dad had been paying her rent and bills but couldn't continue to do so. Now she's moved in with my husband and me. How do we make this work? [more inside]
Should I take the bar exam?
I received a law degree about a decade ago, as the legal employment world was tanking. I found a job/career that did not require me to be an attorney so I skipped the bar exam entirely. Ten years later it feels like I've plateaued in my non-lawyer career. I've been wondering lately whether I should sit the exam. I'm interested in hearing from/about folks who have done so after an extended period outside the legal profession. I'm also interested in opinions about whether my post-bar plans are realistic (I plan to keep my current job). [more inside]
How to stop mindless snacking at office?
The siren song of the office snack cabinet (cheese crackers, cookies, processed foods) overpowers me, even when I bring delicious healthy snacks like blueberries from the farmers market or my favorite trail mix. I try drinking fizzy flavored water or going for a walk when there’s a craving. But my hands inevitably reach for the bad stuff many times a day against my better judgement. I think it’s an impulse control issue. How to curb this mindless snacking? I’m not even really hungry but leave the office feeling bloated.
Creative boost needed
I work in a creative role and need to come up with ideas and solutions, which has always been something I've been pretty good at. But lately, I just feel very uninspired. What do you do to boost your creativity when you're low on ideas?
Raising an issue with my manager
I want to write to my manager and raise a grievance which I have. I’ll explain it to you (see inside) and I’m hoping you can help me with some language to raise it with him, in writing which is clear, comprehensive and fair. Warning – it’s long! [more inside]
August 13
auto insurance for a young AND new driver?
Have you or anyone you know ever gotten auto insurance for a new driver under 21 who can't be added to their parents' plan? Or is it just a really bad idea? [more inside]
Identify this bug infestation in Holland
Asking for a coworker: a house in the Netherlands has been invaded by bugs (warning, it's a hellscape). My colleague described them as small, hard shelled beetles, maybe 1 cm long, with wings. What are they, and how to best get rid of them? [more inside]
Trustee for a Massachusetts trust
My wife and I are have decided to set up a trust for one of our nephews, an adult in Massachusetts who has a number of challenges in his life. We're having a problem identifying a bank or other organization that we could name as trustee. [more inside]
Come Up And See My... Cocktail Shaker?
Writing a story, want one character to invite another back to their place, dot dot dot. The story is set present-day, and I'm not sure how commonly understood "come up and see my etchings" would be. Boils down to etchings versus drink. [more inside]
Best cloth diapers
Best cloth diapers? I see this as a part of larger askme questions, but not by itself. Obviously there is a lot available online but I trust askme hivemind judgement. [more inside]
Last minute vacation ideas for Caffeine Detox? (<$1500)
I'm trying to burn 56-72 hours of PTO by end of September. I'm planning to rest and quit caffeine, but thinking it would be cool to also have a change of scenery and take a trip. I just haven't got a lot of money saved up for it, any ideas for <$1500 USD? [more inside]
How to Help This Lost Parakeet?
My parents' 1/4 acre backyard is somewhat of a wildlife refuge, and there are always tons of happy birds around. A couple days ago, a parakeet turned up. He's waiting in line for the bird feeders, hanging out in the trees, generally acting like any of the other birds. But there are no other parakeets for him to socialize with, and eventually it'll get chilly (around two months from now). How can I help him? [more inside]
Does this make sense?
Is there another way of saying "Does that make sense?" or has anyone successfully trained themselves to stop saying it? I find myself saying it a lot and horrifyingly it's rubbing off on some junior members of my team. But I hate this saying! I hate it when people say this because it sounds like they're questioning my intelligence and ability to follow simple directions. And yet I keep saying it to others! How can I stop? [more inside]
Podcast Recs: Like true crime but with less murder
I'm looking for recommendations for engaging story and/or investigative-style podcasts that aren't dark. [more inside]
efficient way to block text spammers on an iphone
My current method takes ten taps. Is there a shortcut? [more inside]
What's like Chocolati hot chocolate mix, but shipped from closer to NYC?
We like the Chocolati world blend hot chocolate mix, but we're a bit sad to be paying shipping from Seattle. Is there anything with a similarly smooth, rich texture, that costs less after accounting for shipping? Alternatively, your best recipes for smooth, rich hot chocolate?
Phone & plan recommendations for the surveillance-averse?
Driven by my current phone’s decrepitude and by paying too much for a cell plan that I barely use, I’m in the market for a new phone + plan. Preferably not bundled, but obviously they need to be compatible. This question was triggered by my discovery of Google Fi, and I’m wondering what other services are out there that might meet my needs better than the traditional TMobile/Sprint/ATT/Verizon contracts. [more inside]
How do we track conversation and interactions for a grassroots campaign?
I am part of a campaign to get a company evicted from a building. Part of our campaign is asking the other tenants to publicly join our campaign. What is the best way to track our communication with these tenants? [more inside]
Kik messenger app searching contacts
Question about Kik messenger app: if someone finds you via letting the app search their contacts, is the user name matched with the contact name or number? [more inside]
The paper calls, "Marco?!" but Polo the DOI is MIA
Help me get a DOI assigned to my academic paper so it can show up in academic searches, and so I get credit for my work. [more inside]
Microsoft OneNote Sync Problem -- Need help recovering missing pages
I have been using Microsoft OneNote for some time on my Windows desktop, through the Office 365 site in Chrome and on my iPhone. All seems to have been working pretty well all that time across those devices, but I just saw two pages in a notebook disappear before my eyes and I can't seem to find them anywhere. [more inside]
Insecure Connection
Why do I keep getting this error today on many different websites? I can access many others without a problem, including metafilter and google. "Your connection is not secure The owner of www.foodnetwork.com has configured their website improperly. To protect your information from being stolen, Firefox has not connected to this website." [more inside]
Bad vibrations
I seem to almost compulsively feel guilt over things I “should” be happy about, proud of or celebrating. How can I break this pattern? [more inside]
Rubber Ducks for Rubber Duck Debugging
I teach middle school (ages 11-14) Computer Science and would like to get about 60 *non-squeaking* rubber ducks for students. They will use them for rubber duck debugging in class. Where can I get good ducks within the next 7-10 days without breaking the bank? [more inside]
ISO ergonomic keyboard with USB ports
Are there ergonomic keyboards that have extra USB ports? [more inside]
How do I get a toilet installed?
I want to replace my toilet but there have been some obstacles... [more inside]
How do I let the invisible women of Reddit know there's a menopause sub?
I know the stats: Reddit skews heavily under 30, and heavily male. (And also is toxic and terrible.) Nevertheless... [more inside]
How bad is the Kitchenaid ice cream maker
My second dessert question this week! The Kitchenaid ice cream maker gets 3.5/5 online which is an internet F, but how bad is it? I don’t want to buy a separate appliance if I can help it. [more inside]
Out Damned Spot
Coat conundrum. Half stain-removal/ half eBay etiquette question. [more inside]
Set Me Up For Failure!
Seeking help generating a list of ideas for things to try that I am most likely going to be terrible at, but with hilarious results. Explanation inside. [more inside]
I want to get HIIT in New York City
I'm looking for HIIT (high-intensity interval training) workout classes on the Upper East Side in NYC. Thanks for your recommendations!
Music for clear-eyed euphoria
I have a yen to be transported by emotional, yet upbeat bangers. Tell me the songs that make you see stars. [more inside]
Home Inspection Done! What's worth asking for credit from seller?
We had our new house inspected this past Saturday. Want some advice and input on what is worth asking for a buyers credit or to have remediation done by the seller prior to close. [more inside]
I want to make my character seriously ill. What with?
For a scene to work in my story, a character needs to have an injury/condition that is physically but not cognitively disabling - the mind/personality is as it always was, but they are unable to speak as before (maybe can only make sounds) or have full independent movement, and may be mistaken in that condition for someone who is also intellectually impaired. What circumstances would make this a likely outcome for the patient? [more inside]
Cycling Around Town
What is the best bicycle that's not too expensive? [more inside]
Where can I find clothing like Roselinlin?
I'm new to buying women's clothing and found the online women's clothing seller Roselinlin. I love the look of everything they sell. Alas, too good to be true... I've also found a lot of bad reviews about them (items received aren't in line with pictures and descriptions, poor customer service, difficulties returning items).
Where can I find clothing like this from a reliable site (especially at decent prices)?
Will I ever get to inbox zero?
I need help with Gmail and Apple Mail logic [more inside]
How to Boundary-Set and Cope with Elderly Family Member Turning Abusive
This isn't a new problem but it's new to us, and I need pointers. My elderly father has begun to more and more frequently express his anger and other negative feelings in inappropriate ways, and help is needed for best practices in boundary-setting and coping in a situation where we can't simply DTFMA. [more inside]
Should I quit and become the employee with shortest tenure ever?
I've started a new job and wondering if I've made a big mistake and how to deal with it. [more inside]
How to support a partner with (maybe) ED?
It appears my boyfriend has ED or some other type of anorgasmia, and I'm trying to figure out the most supportive way to tackle this together. [more inside]
August 12
Is it cool to re-glue visas in your passport?
Two visas are now loose and just tucked into my passport, due to old and feeble glue. What’s the right course of action? Do I glue them back in myself? [more inside]
Suggest to me movies drenched in New York grit
I’ve recently become obsessed with movies from the 60s and 70s that feature New York City during its “drop dead” years. Stuff like Joe, Midnight Cowboy, and of course Taxi Driver. My appetite is insatiable and now I want/need more. Ideally any flicks from that approximate era that feature the grime, the grit, and lots of street life shot verite if possible. Thanks!
Parents who had a 2-year-old with speech delays: what's it like now?
That is, what are things like a few years after you first realized there was a problem and started speech therapy and/or early intervention? [more inside]
Work hard for the money
I’m an adjunct college instructor in WA, and I am eligible for unemployment while on breaks since I am technically laid off between quarters. I quit my second job. Unemployment freaked out and I owe them money. Magic words please. I’m so frustrated. [more inside]
Alcatraz and Rose
The bright lights of ... Easton, Pennsylvania
Mother in law wants to meet husband, 3 year old, and I to meet at the Crayola Experience in Easton, Pa. this weekend. Is there anything else to do there?! [more inside]
at least the dark don't hide it
jason molina's label has a live minidisc with something scrawled on it and i have a list of european tour dates from twenty years ago. can anyone help us put two and two together to figure out which show it is? [more inside]
i like those dark floral flavors
Hit me with your best cardamom / anise / bergamot baking and dessert recipes. [more inside]
Choosing Oakland or NYC?
I was just offered a job in Oakland. I'm currently in NYC. Would taking this job be a terrible idea? Or a really great one? [more inside]
Is Apple Wallet a good idea?
Do any of you use Apple Wallet for your credit cards on an iPhone, and if so, why? I am wondering if there is a good reason to use it and if there are any drawbacks.
Looking for a bird specimen from AMNH
I’m looking for a photo of a bird that I saw displayed at the American Museum of Natural History in the permanent collection. I’m getting a bird tattoo soon and I want to use this bird as a use as a reference. Are there pictures of the collection somewhere online? [more inside]
I would like to pay him back....
Yay! Finally getting cornea transplants!
Nay! I have to ask family to cancel plans! [more inside]
Lofty quotes about education from philosophers, poets and other thinkers
What are some of the best quotes about learning, education, and philosophical thinking and how they affect human life? [more inside]
What do I need to do for “Corp to Corp?”
I’ve been asked by a recruiter to do Corp to Corp instead of W2. The contract starts soon, it is just myself and I’m hourly. What do I need to do to get this going? Should I push for a W2? [more inside]
Which Congress people are in this photo?
Can you identify any of the Congress members, staff, and others in this photo? The vast majority of them are new members in the House of Representatives.
Stem Cell Donation for the not quite diagnosed
I am curious about donating stem cells when I have not been diagnosed with any autoimmune disorders. [more inside]
Recommendations for a portable ergonomic keyboard
I'm starting to get quite bad RSI so I need recommendations for ergonomic keyboards. However, I am currently living on the road, so I am in the market for a keyboard that is quite portable and compact. [more inside]
Replace my favorite wallet?
My beloved old Target wallet was lost. It was perfect but they no longer make it. Is there a duplicate out there? It was basically a glorified coin purse with a card slip, but I can’t seem to find anything like it! [more inside]
Short-term car leasing / subscriptions
Have you leased (or "subscribed") to a car through Fair or Canvas? What was your experience like? Bonus if you, say, got in a minor accident, or needed roadside assistance, and can speak to either company's handling of it. [more inside]
Looking to throw a particular type of shade - the lamp edition
I picked up two of these lamps for free at the Carling Dump in Ontario this summer. Both shades are broken, and I'd like to replace them. I'm guessing they're Canadian. Problem is I have absolutely no idea how to go about finding them, given their provenance. Googling the model number on the base doesn't help. Long shot, but I'm hoping somebody here has a better idea. Very close approximations are welcome, but I'd love to find the original item. Thank you!
Where can I sell a last minute broadway ticket?
I have a ticket to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child on Broadway (both parts) for this Wednesday. The seat is good (2nd row orchestra!) and the cost is reasonable ($330 for both parts!) but since it’s so last minute I don’t know where to sell them! The added difficulty is that they are mobile/digital tickets - so I have to transfer the tickets from my Ticketmaster account to someone else’s. Ticketmaster doesn’t seem to have a resale option for them, and StubHub won’t approve me because I’ve never sold with them before. Help!
cute / creative texts to encourage bf's gym habit
My boyfriend has very specifically asked me to support his gym habit by sending him reminder/check-in/encouraging texts on the days that he plans on going after work. I'm like, 5 texts in and already resorting to cheesy gifs. Help me think of cute/funny/creative messages to help support and motivate him. [more inside]
Looking for further watching/reading/listening about large-scale scams.
What are some books/podcasts/articles about scams/frauds that I should check out? [more inside]
Interesting stop between Nottingham and Heathrow?
Later this week we're driving from Nottingham to Heathrow as we end an epic UK vacation. Hoping to get some ideas for an interesting stop on the route. We'd have maybe an hour or two to stop, but really want to do something (anything) so it's not just a day of pure travel in car and plane. Last year we did a quick stop in Winchester en route from Salisbury to LHR, and it was a perfect stop for a couple of hours, hoping to recreate that magic this time.
Please ID whatever is growing on my wooden items
I suspect it may be some kind of salt crystals but is it mold or something else dangerous/of concern? My google skills are failing me. Here are some photos. The stuff rinses off easily in running water or wipes off with a wet paper towel. I'm close to the Pacific Ocean (a block away) and the affected wood is close to a west-facing window that's almost always open. What is it and what do I do now? [more inside]
Phoenix golf courses vs. The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo
Because of intensive human use, the Colorado River no longer reaches the sea. However, Article 6 of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo states that US citizens shall, "in all time," have the right to travel on the Colorado River to and from US lands. Has Article 6 of the treaty ever been tested in court as a means of restoring (a portion of) the natural flow of the Colorado River? [more inside]
Should I get travel insurance?
I'm buying a ticket to go to Japan next April and wondering if I should get travel insurance. Cost of the ticket is about $750 and travel insurance quotes are between $35-60. Primary reasons I'm thinking of are canceling trip due to illness or job loss. Most also cover emergency health care which is a plus as I'm going for 2 weeks. Also, any recommendations for travel insurance companies?
Fun things to do after work in London?
I'm going to be working from London for a week in September near Monument Station. Can you recommend some fun stuff to do after work or on the weekend? [more inside]
All in one excema soap for color treated hair?
Is there an all in one body soap that won't flare me up? [more inside]
Help me help my feet.
I work 50-60 hours on my feet and its wrecking my body. I'm sick of buying >$50 shoes that I wear for a month only to discover that they just make my body wonky in new and exciting ways.
Yes I've tried danskos. Yes, I've tried pretty much everything in the Superfeet and Sole lines of inserts. Yes, my place of work has those squishy mats, and I am always sure to use them. What's my next step? I'm sick of hurting. [more inside]
What to do in Orlando?
I'm in Orlando for a week in October. I detest theme parks. What do I do? [more inside]
The names of my youth
Is there any way to learn more about this person mentioned who James Cagney mentioned in passing? [more inside]
Is dropshipping difficult and competitive to get into?
I have been learning about drop shipping and small business start-ups. Is it difficult to get into nowadays? [more inside]
Washington DC Auto Title Question Part II
Is it possible for our daughter to register a car in her name in Washington DC, even though the Vermont title is in our name? Do we have to switch the name on the title in Vermont first? [more inside]
We are the...?
Looking for a post “We are the world” music video about the rainforest. [more inside]
A lovely recovery
I'm having laparoscopic surgery next week to remove some ovarian cysts & my fallopian tubes (and to check for endometriosis). I'd like to hear from folks who've had this kind of surgery in the past, particularly around how to make the recovery as smooth and pleasant as possible. [more inside]
Identify some dogs, AxMe.
What kind of dogs are these?
Do you think my friend's behavior is ethical?
My friend and I are working on a project together. He's handling the money. I think the way he handled the money was unethical, but he doesn't think it's unethical. What do you think? [more inside]
Best adult diapers
Elderly male relative has advancing dementia and needs heavyduty continence products. Suggest good brands? [more inside]
I think that my ex is a child predator. What can I do about it?
My son is weirded out by some of the things that his father (my ex) is doing that are similar to some creepy things that the ex did in the past and I suspect that the ex is an online predator. [more inside]
How to buy commodity tech on Amazon with a flood of fake reviews
I’d like to buy a DVD burner for my USB-C MacBook Pro. I could pay a premium to buy the Apple external SuperDrive, which isn’t USB-C, and seems like a waste of money. (I have plenty of adapters, it’s simply annoying.) There are tons of alternatives, some name brands, some off-brand—most with rave, and likely fake, reviews. What’s your approach to finding commodity-level tech (USB hubs, power banks, DVD drives, maybe not defibrillators), when Amazon is filled with fake reviews? And what damn DVD drive should I get for my MacBook?
August 11
Best podcast aggregator
Just looking for some recommendations for a podcast aggregator for my iPhone 6s.
Must give access to a range of podcasts including ABC radio national, not download episodes automatically but allow me to choose which ones to download, allow me to choose whether I listen to the playlist in order of oldest first or newest first, be free or cheap to download.
Help this menopausal woman pick the perfect September vacation
Looking to take a solo vacation in September. Currently live in Seattle and want to spend a week exploring and resting with spectacular views -- water or mountain views preferred. The hot flashes are real, so moderate to cool temperatures are critical. [more inside]
Bicycle commuting in the outer suburbs
I am interviewing for a job on the outer edges of the DC suburbs in Maryland. How can I figure out if it would be bikeable or not? Are there resources or guidelines for bike commuting in places like this? [more inside]
Navigating a de/re/multi-transition?
What can I expect life to be like after a 4-year binary gender transition as a woman, 1 year as a nonbinary person, and maybe now identifying either male again or nonbinary masc? [more inside]
Wife and I are moving to first house in September. Looking for advice!
Moving to our first house in September. Need major advice from those who've been through it and what you've learned! [more inside]
Where to start with Ironheart?
I think my fifth grader would dig the Marvel character Ironheart. The preference is to read stuff in batches, via collections. Starting at the beginning is our normal MO, but it's frustrating to jump into an ongoing story midstream. I know that Ironheart came about midway through a volume of Invincible Iron Man. Do I need to get that collection to start her story off right? Or is there an Ironheart-specific title or collection that will let us hop right in without missing a beat?
It's not you, it's him
My early-20s daughter is going through a breakup and reaching out to me to help her not fall into the trap of thinking it's her fault for not being "good enough" and/or "asking for too much" and other pits of self-recrimination. She had seen this coming a few weeks ago and I shared the "Crane Wife" essay with her and she liked it a lot but I'm looking for essays etc. in a similar but maybe slightly younger feminist female/empowering perspective. [more inside]
How easily can mold spread from place to place?
I've heard people talk about mold spores spreading around or "reactivating" after a period of dormancy, but can't find much hard facts on this. A specific experience I wonder about regards mold spreading over my life after I left the windows in my car open during a rain storm. [more inside]
Desserts, noodles, spa in Tokyo
I would love recommendations for any of the following! Desserts, ramen/udon, or spa/massage treatments! [more inside]
Help Me Find This Look
My husband really likes the shirt & pants combo on Meek Mill for his August 2019 Daily Show interview - any hints on where similar items might be found? [more inside]
Cheese fondue: freezing leftovers?
So we had cheese fondue, it went ok, coated well, tasted good. The very plain recipe was emmental, gruyere, white wine and a bit of garlic. There's lots of cheese left, now in a solid plasticky block in a pan (emmental, man *sighs*). It was delicious when warm and is now a bit disgusting. Can I freeze it and re-heat for later? Will it regain it's pleasant properties or has the cheese now been cooked too much to go back to a liquid state?
I feel unhurried
I'm looking for songs like Donna Summer's I Feel Love - songs where the instruments are in a big hurry and the singer is no hurry at all. The tension between the two is really striking. But I can't think of a single other song with that quality! Any suggestions? [more inside]
For those who moved abroad - strategies for coping with anxiety?
I'm getting ready to move to another country where I do not speak the language and have no friends/family. I'm excited for the move from a professional perspective, as it's a good opportunity at the university I'll be attending, but as the move approaches, I'm becoming more and more anxious (more details in extended explanation). Does anyone who has made a big move alone have any useful coping strategies? I'd also be interested in any books that come to mind as being relevant or helpful (fiction or non-fiction) in such a situation. [more inside]
Critique my weight-lifting/fitness routine!
I would like to optimize my lifting routine to get stronger and/or bigger. I've never been a member of a gym (and I will not join a gym), so what I'm able to do is limited to the equipment I have on hand (dumbbells, an adjustable weight bench, a pull-up/dip tower), and the fact that I do not have a spotter. I've been pretty happy with my gains, but I'm seeking any advice. I'm 5'8, early 30s, male, 135 lbs. [more inside]
Looking for the title of an Arabic film from the past 5 years
Hey, I'm having trouble finding an indie (Arabic?) film I saw a few years ago that I want to write about in relation to The Farewell. I remember the premise pretty well. It's a large family get together (maybe in Lebanon?) and suddenly the matriarch grandmother's stash of cash is stolen during the black out. They accuse the young teenage son and the son-in-law down on his luck and the maid who is an immigrant from Africa (maybe?). Anyway, if you find any leads I'm very grateful.
How to make a NICE best man's speech.
I have to give a best man's speech.
I would like to give a good one, but on top of it being funny I would also like it to be nice.
The main issue with this is that I'm not sure I'm very nice. I'm certainly not used to being nice. How do I write, and deliver a best man's speech which is both GOOD and also NICE.
Help me find someone to solve my wifi issues who isn't from my provider
I live in an approx 1300 sq. ft. condo. The modem and router are in the master bedroom, which is dead center between the back and front of the condo. No trouble getting on wifi in the back, but it's constantly in and out in the front (living room, TV, etc.). RCN is useless; where do I find someone who come in and tell me how to fix it? [more inside]
Help us with our underweight cat
Xena weighs 5.5 pounds. She used to weigh 7 pounds, but even that was low. Recently, she has seemed just slightly “off”: She really enjoys being brushed, but doesn’t luxuriate in that the way she used to. She walks away from the brush sometimes. This morning, she seemed a little hesitant getting down from the bed. The rest of her personality seems normal for her. [more inside]
Popups in Chrome
I've been getting annoying popups in Chrome, and none of the fixes I've found online are working. [more inside]
Manitoulin Island recommendations?
We are going to Manitoulin Island for two days, midweek. Any recommendations for things to do, see and eat beyond the obvious stuff like Bridal Veil Falls? Would especially love recs for vegetarian-friendly restaurants that won't break the bank (a great pizza place that has a meat-free pizza would qualify).
How do we find the best outhouse situation?
We have a few cabins up in Maine. Our outhouse probably needs to be replaced. What are our best options? [more inside]
New Car Buying -- Manual Transmission non sports car Filter
Our 2011 Mazda 2 is falling apart. So its time to purchase a car. We want a manual transmission. The New 2020 Mazda offerings only offer a Manual Transmission in their premium package so help us narrow down what to look at? [more inside]
Where should I live in Brooklyn?
I just accepted a job in Lower Manhattan Financial District and I'll be moving from the Midwest in October/November. Where in Brooklyn should I live? I have a child in elementary school, but as a single parent, I'm concerned about long commutes with no safety net / back up if the subway has an issue. [more inside]
Herpes is no big deal, except when it is.
I have had genital herpes for the past 10 years. I know it's not a big deal for most people, but mine is a very big deal. I basically have an active outbreak about 1/3 to 1/2 of my life. I am newly single, in my 50s, and absolutely terrified to try dating. [more inside]
What are the best wireless earbuds for audiobooks?
I have a fairly physical job--lifting, walking, some climbing--and I'd like a pair of wireless earbuds with excellent sound for audiobooks. A lot of the online reviews talk about sound quality for music, but I want to hear the books well. A little noise cancellation would be nice, and if they could auto-pause when they fell out of my ears, that would also be useful. I have a Google Pixel 3a phone. Ideally looking for the $50ish sorts but can go higher. What earbuds do you recommend?
What is this melody from?
Here's an approximately accurate piano version:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1taIcFQnEkS7XhW-IlMZKmwd78m5BjRO9
If you recognize this melody, please let me know what it's from, it's been driving me a bit crazy to not be able to ID it, given how familiar it sounds. Thanks -- and thanks for listening+trying, even if you've got no clue what it is. :) [more inside]
August 10
Senior Parent Issues with Caregiver, Rehab, and Attitude
I've been taking care of my Mom since she had a partial hip replacement in May, and she is a terrible patient. How do I explain to her the difficulties of this situation? [more inside]
Missing my magnet
Last summer on a family vacation I picked up a magnet in Yellowstone (tan, shaped like a buffalo, purchased at a park gift shop). Thanks to an overly aggressive car wash sprayer, it’s now gone. I’ve tried looking online, including the NPS and park store sites, but can’t find anything similar. Anyone know where I might be able to find a replacement? It meant a lot to me and I’m frustrated that it’s gone. [more inside]
Swimming in cold open water: knowing when to stop / other safety tips
I have the thrilling unexpected gift of several weeks next to a fjord that's easily swimmable when I'd assumed it wouldn't be. After 8 hours total in the fjord over 4 days, I'm feeling confident, but I want to keep being safe – especially after this heat wave fades. I'd love some advice about which sensations in the body you've found to mean it's time to stop (because the experience is so incredible I'm battling some strong "I don't wanna stop" instincts). [more inside]
Adobe Genuine Software annoyance
I upgraded to Mojave Mac 10.14.5, which has mostly sucked since I installed it and led to a series of hassles. Because of this my old Photoshop wouldn't work and I recently started paying for a subscription for Photoshop CC. Suddenly after two months they're hitting me with these pop up windows saying I'm not using Adobe Genuine Software. But I bought and received the download from the Adobe site. It's definitely authentic. Could this be because I have a 10 yr old cracked version of Illustrator still installed?
I used cracked versions of Photoshop for 20 years with no problems and now I start paying and run into one slowdown after another.
Thanks for any help.
Keep my IBS'd gut happy in Gurgaon, India
I will likely be going to Gurgaon (India) next month for a work trip. I am looking for advice on how to protect and prepare myself for the inevitable gut distress, especially as someone with IBS-D. I'll have a generous enough expense account to look for safer food and drink, and have good insurance with international coverage. What I don't have is a lot of time to do extensive research on what to pack and how to assess my food options. Help me get quickly up to speed! [more inside]
AirPods in my bra ?
I’ve recently had to buy AirPods and they’re very lose-able so I’ve taken to storing them (the case mostly) in my bra. I’ve always stored my mobile phone (cell phone) in my bra because it’s convenient and clothes made for women seldom have pockets. Is BraPod in any way a theoretical breast cancer risk? [more inside]
Looking for a sweet tasting unsweetened green tea
I’ve been to restaurants where I was served green tea that had a vaguely sweet taste, without any sweetener added. I’m trying to find some online but am primarily getting Southern style sweet tea results, not at all what I want. Can you recommend a brand, style, or favorite blend? I prefer less astringency if possible, and greatly enjoy jasmine teas.
How can an American hire an Australian to scan a short Australian book?
I want to read an obscure little paperback that is only available in Australia. I'm in the U.S. Shipping the book will cost 55 AUD. Is that enough money to pay for a copy shop in Sydney to receive the book, cut the spine, run the pages through an automatic document feeder, and send me the images? And if so, how would I arrange that job?
Another where should I live question
I'm considering moving in the next year or two and choosing my first job out of training. I might want to buy a house or condo in the place that I move to. I'm generally looking at northeast US because that is where I have most ties. [more inside]
Insurance Billing Keep-a-way
Have an ambulance bill bounced back and forth between auto insurance and health insurance for so long that now both claim they don't have to pay. [more inside]
Translation of a Victorian description
Reading a story from approx 1900 (“The Shadow Dance” by Bernard Capes), I came across a description that totally mystified me as the references mean nothing to me. Can anyone explain what is meant? [more inside]
Alternative to Fosomax for osteoporosis
Writing for friend who has T score of 2.9. Physician recommends Fosomax. Friend would prefer to address this through diet, or other alternative approach, if possible. [more inside]
It's that same old anxiety again.
About once or twice a year, I have a major anxiety freakout/OCD flare up that is almost always triggered when I either make a mistake at work or am "in trouble" at work. I'm having one now and I need it to stop. [more inside]
Should I just sucumb to the Wawa cult? dinner in Fort Washington, PA
I am going to Fort Washington, PA for a one day training in a few weeks. Looking for a place to eat that'll scratch my "I've-eaten-the-local-thing-that's-good" itch. [more inside]
Family troubles: Macs won't talk - 21.5' iMac/MacBook Pro
Help needed getting 21.5' iMac tow as external display for Macbook Pro ... [more inside]
Black bamboo silk pillowcases ruined my sheets?
I bought cheap bamboo silk pillowcases to see if they do keep hair from tangling. Alas, I opted for black. While the effect on my hair has been positive, with any moisture (damp hair, sweat etc) they end up staining the pillows inside them and the sheets underneath. When I handwashed them, no wonder - the colour bleeds all over, to the point the sink water is black within half a minute. I'm able to rinse them until the water runs clear, but I've repeated the cycle 4 times now and the bleeding's the same strength each time I add detergent. Googling has indicated that mordants for home dyeing like salt or vinegar won't set commercial dye.
Is the only solution to chuck them and order them again in white?
Please note I'm in continental Europe, not the US.
(Bonus question: how to get blue-grey dye bleed out of white and embroidered lyocell? A regular delicates wash for lyocell didn't help at all. If anyone used stain remover on lyocell, I'd love reassurance it won't ruin it.)
Is it appropriation for a white woman to wear African fabrics?
I am an able-bodied neurotypical white woman in her 40s. I am trying to spend money with businesses owned & operated by POC & PWD whenever I can. I am currently in need of new work clothing, and I love the look of the jacket dresses made by Ray Darten. Is it appropriative for me to wear a dress made with African fabrics? I would like to support this business, run by a Black woman & named after her daughters (combination of syllables), but I understand that this clothing may not be for me.
Reputational damage limitation in a small sector
I have recently found out a volunteer on a project I manage has been spreading completely unfounded allegations about me bullying her and that I'm having an affair with one of my co-workers who also works with me on the project.
It is a small sector, and our project is high profile in it. The volunteer has been making these allegations to other volunteers in our project and also to people elsewhere in the sector. I've got the full support of my managers and coworkers who know that this is all unfounded and we are actively working on a plan on how we will handle this internally. What I'm more concerned about is what this might be doing to my reputation elsewhere, and if there's anything I can do to mitigate that apart from continuing to be myself? [more inside]
Should I try to be friends with people I don’t like (yet)?
I know that sounds like a silly question. But I’m wondering when you’re trying to make friends, how hard should you try with those who you don’t really click with yet? [more inside]
China: One-child policy lifted, any other policies?
Other than China’s one-child policy, what other policies has the Chinese Communist Party lifted in the past decade, arguably giving back some power to their citizens?
August 9
Vancouver Ice Hockey
We're going to be in Vancouver, BC from 3rd October to 16th October and would like to see an ice hockey game. [more inside]
Book Recs: Romance enriched with time and age
I'm looking for books with relationships that are between two people who are mature adults and have a long history with each other. Bonus points if women aren't written as symbols, and if the relationship ends positively! [more inside]
Glue-trapped mouse while house sitting
I'm housesitting for a friend. I just discovered that there are a bunch of glue traps in this apartment because there's a mouse stuck and screaming on one of them. Tell me what to do! [more inside]
Are frozen whole milk "ice milk pops" a thing?
I expect I'm going to be disappointed with the answers, but here goes. In my ideal world, there would be creamy milk bars that are the equivalent of frozen whole milk, no sugar added. Does this exist? Could I make it? [more inside]
Is there a phone game that approximates a social life?
Facebook is gross, Twitter is screamingly depressing, Peach is all bellyaching, and my group text is only three people—but I crave the specific dopamine hit of having interactions from a human who's interested in my life. How can I approximate this without spending (significant) money or getting sucked back in to social media which is mostly toxic for me? [more inside]
Traveling with cats, U-Haul edition
Next weekend, my boys and I will head for the Twin Cities.
I need your best tips, especially any non-intuitive ones, for making sure my critters are as comfortable, well taken care of, and safe as I can make them. [more inside]
Setting up a seamless re-ordering system for a biology lab
In the process of helping set up a new research lab at a university and wondering if any science MeFites have tips for setting up a system for inventorying and re-ordering reagents/consumables. [more inside]
Elevated liver enzymes and triglyceride levels. What's it mean?
YANMD. I was planning to start on Accutane this week but before I could do this I had to take a blood test showing my liver enzymes and triglycerides were at normal levels. My results came back and the numbers were higher than they should be, so the doctor had me do another set of labs. The numbers were still elevated. [more inside]
I don't like cantaloupe. Change my mind.
This is both a specific and a general question.
The specific: I've never liked cantaloupe, though I can tolerate it wrapped in prosciutto. I don't like not liking things, so I'd like to learn how. Do you have any favorite melon-based recipes that will help me use the giant cantaloupe I got in my CSA this week? [more inside]
Saw ugly accident, ready to ditch my car. Am I overreacting?
I have a safe, reliable car. But SO, our toddler and I were literally seconds away from getting T-boned in an accident where a distracted and/or irresponsible tow truck driver ran a red light and slammed into the passenger side of the sedan right in front of us. Everyone was okay, but we were left shaken. My anxiety says I need a new car. Or do I? [more inside]
What is this PL chant?
I heard this chant all last year and could never make out any words. It seemed to appear at loads of games, so not identified with one particular club, and I *think* I heard it during Championship games so not necessarily just a PL thing, but I could be wrong about that. (Recorded here a few minutes ago during Liverpool v. Norwich). Obviously I can’t google it because I don’t have a single word to hook the search on, and I’ve spent way too long down the rabbit hole of football chant forums with no luck. I can’t take another year of not knowing it! Help?
Watching Fleabag in Canada with a US account
I'm visiting Toronto from the US and want to watch Fleabag on Amazon Prime. It says the content isn't available in my country. I have a US-based Amazon account and credit card which seems to be the problem. But I know Fleabag is available in Canada- is there any way I can watch it? [more inside]
Baa baa black sheep, have you any salt?
My sister just sent me these awesome sheep salt and pepper shakers. One is cream colored and the other is a dark greyish mushroom brown. Here’s my dilemma - the dark sheep has five holes, and the light sheep has 3. Help me - do I put salt in the dark sheep because holes? Or pepper in the dark sheep because duh? This is seriously breaking my brain.
Trouble with my therapist
God, I don’t even know where to begin. I’ll do my best to be concise. [more inside]
Fruit flies hanging out in a plant. Oh bother.
I’ve got some pothos I’m trying to propagate so I have it in water for root development. I was gone for a week, and now there are lots of fruit flies hanging out there. I know general fruit fly measures, but I don’t want to ditch these plants—the roots aren’t quite developed enough for soil yet. Will changing to fresh water diminish the flies attraction sufficiently to allow them to be more enticed by traps?
Massively multiplayer music
I'm looking for videos of music being performed by tons of people. Maybe they're just edited together like this video of 40 musicians independently covering Porcupine Tree's Trains or maybe they gathered together like the 1000 musicians in Cesena playing Learning To Fly. [more inside]
What's this thing on my lower lip?
I have a small circular white boil-like thing on my lower lip (pictures here). What is this (is this just a pimple?), and should I do anything about it? [more inside]
Signup sheets, but 21st century
The non-profit I work for collects names and emails at events. Is there anything better than paper signup sheets? Complication: we may not always have network access. [more inside]
Strong herbal tea bag teas without hibiscus
I enjoy a variety caffeine-free herbal teas made with teabags. Can you recommend strongly flavored herbal teabags? I like things like Numi Desert Lime, Tazo Wild Sweet Orange, and Yogi Egyptian Licorice. Most other herbal teas (think ginger, chamomile, spice, etc.) are very weakly flavored, even if I use more than one teabag. I really dislike the flavor of hibiscus. [more inside]
Why do emails get stuck in Outbox?
Sometimes my emails get stuck in Outbox and I don't know why or what to do about it. [more inside]
Ebike commuting for novice rider
I've decided to get an ebike to get to work. It's a 14-18km trip depending on the route I take, and mostly on cycle paths.
I'm considering getting the Trek Verve+ (planning a test ride this weekend if I can) and I'd like to get thoughts/advice here as well as at the bike shop.
(Yesterday's 'How do I bike' is helpful but my circumstances are a bit different and I have some additional questions.) [more inside]
How to keep medications secure? With special requirements
I’m looking for a safe or lockbox or other method to keep medications and edibles secure from an adult struggling with addiction. [more inside]
How do you know whether you're having a nervous breakdown?
There have been a lot of stressors in my life for years now, but I have been Handling Them. Last week I hit some kind of wall and I feel like I can't do the things I have to do anymore. Is this what people mean by a nervous breakdown? What do I do about it? More inside. [more inside]
Help me brainstorm an Evil Device
I apologise in advance for this goofy question. It’s for a somewhat gothic, silly story set in the early 19th Century. The TLDR is that I want an evil guy to entrap a telepathic person and...record his emanations for his own later deployment. Preferably using some Evil Guy apparatus or set up. LIKE WHAT?? [more inside]
August 8
Notifications wont open
I have been using Facebook to promote a new book. Within the last two days, the notification feature has stopped working and now, I can't open individual posted messages to see comments or invite new visitors to follow me or like my Facebook page. It shows I have a number of notifications, but when I click it, I only see a blank screen and hours later, it is still blank. Insights also do not seem to work. Also, Ad Center, Inbox and Events are unresponsive. [more inside]
What is this noise I can make
There’s this grunting noise I can make with my mouth. I’m unaware of anyone else who can make it -though there are surely other people out there who can- and I’m not actually sure how I make the noise. Can you explain what exactly I’m doing to make this sound, and ideally provide a link to a more detailed description elsewhere? All details within. [more inside]
Impulsive Yo-Yo Ma
On impulse, I bought 3 tickets to see Yo-Yo Ma perform Bach in the Berkshires this weekend but my friends can’t make it. What can I do with the other 2 tickets! [more inside]
Best way to learn pop American music
As in the type of music you hear on the top 70s or todays hits radio stations. I vaguely recognize lots of the songs, but I can't really recognize the artist or the title. And I definitely don't appreciate their history. How can I learn more about that kind of music? [more inside]
Advocacy Organization: Preserve Local Flexibility OR Acquire Stability?
Our extremely new outdoor advocacy and recreational organization is being courted by two major regional/national organizations, with the possibility for engagement from others. One has asked for us to work with them exclusively.
Help me figure out how to negotiate our (again, brand new) organizational boundaries, to maximize our positive effects on our community and the spaces it's serves.
Bonus variable: I suspect our community is becoming an attractive market for these organizations. [more inside]
Looking for books like Wacky Wednesday
My 2 year old is obsessed with the Dr Seuss book Wacky Wednesday. (Written under his alter ego name Theo Lesieg.) If you’re not familiar, each page has “wacky” things on it - a shoe in the sky, a tree growing out of a chimney, a person with three legs, etc. What other books could we look at together?
What type of doctor for female hair loss?
My GP, while wonderful, is a bit stumped and the hair just keeps shedding. So what doctor may be next? [more inside]
How do I bike?
Bad News: My car has finally given up the ghost and gone to that big junkyard in the sky, and I can't afford a new(er) one at this time.
Good News: I live just a little over two miles from work, so I'm going to get a bike and bike to work. People do that, right?
Bad News: I haven't been on a bike since I was probably around 13. And I was never really that good at it. And I live in Phoenix, where it can be 115 degrees when I'm trying to bike.
Please Help! Specific questions inside... [more inside]
Help bulk-sending fillable forms (PDFs) with completion tracking
My friend runs a non-profit and needs to send out a very detailed release form for child care to dozens of parents which they can fill out online and she can track. What is the best way to do this? [more inside]
Calling all gluten-free cooks!
I need help perfecting my chicken finger technique for my gluten free wife. I'm getting frustrated as I've worked in casual and quickservice food industry for 20 years but I just can't nail this simple recipe at home! [more inside]
I wish to command a starship or space station (in space).
I wish to command a starship or space station (in space). [more inside]
Why won't ebay let me buy this item?
I'm in the US and I'm trying to buy this old phone that I found on some foreign ebay [more inside]
UK by rail for US rookies?
My parents, both 65+, are heading to the UK in October. They want to travel by rail from London to Edinburgh, Edinburgh to Glasgow, and Glasgow to London over a 7-day period. As the family member with the most international experience (though not in the UK) I'm trying to help them book tickets but it is dauntingly complicated. [more inside]
Where can we go on vacation that fits all or most of this criteria?
Are we looking for a unicorn vacation destination? Hoping to find a place within 8 hours driving distance of Louisville, KY, near an airport, on a body of water/ocean where we can swim, with some AirBnBs that would let us stay 4-5 days instead of the requisite week or more. Michigan? Virginia? Where? [more inside]
Where is our Bob Dylan?
It seems to me that we in the USA are living through a time that is equally disruptive and equally disturbing as the 1960s were. Where is our Dylan? Or to put it more generally: Where are our artists who are helping to guide us through this time? [more inside]
Is there a virtual wall for Eufy?
I've purchased this particular Eufy and really love it so far but I find myself in need of "corralling" it from time to time and am not seeing any virtual walls sold on Amazon like they have for the Roomba. I see some magnetic strips that I am not sure are compatible with this particular model. Can someone please confirm if those strips work for this model or suggest something else? Can't believe I'm wasting a question on this, but oh well =/
Help me sports!
My entire life, I never liked any professional sports - I've fallen asleep at professional sports games when I've gone with friends or for work events. UNTIL last year, when my roommate invited me to go see the Chicago Sky WNBA team! I've been obsessed ever since. Now what do I do when they are not playing? [more inside]
Why is my tea so weak?
I can't seem to brew a sufficiently strong cup of tea. What can I do differently? [more inside]
"Sprinkle a little between the sheets..."
Do you use body powder/dusting powder? What do you use it for? [more inside]
A book of their (our) own
I'm looking for children's narrative picture books with one or more explicitly nonbinary characters. Any topic is fine. [more inside]
Medical Cannabis Card in PA - Medical Records
I have anxiety, which just recently became an approved condition for medical cannabis in PA. What is an MMJ doctor going to need in terms of medical records? [more inside]
Please recommend a bankruptcy attorney in Brooklyn/NYC
I am seriously considering filing for personal bankruptcy. I'm wary of meeting with an attorney and sharing sensitive information based solely on Yelp reviews. If you have a personal recommendation or guide to finding a reputable attorney who can provide a consultation, that would be helpful. [more inside]
What is wrong with my gut?
Everything has been real weird with my guts for the last two months, and I can't figure out what's going on. Details under the cut area little gross, but nothing too graphic. [more inside]
What's a good knife for eating crusty sandwiches?
I like to use a knife and fork when I eat big sandwiches with thick, crusty bread. What knives are actually good for that? [more inside]
Can you read these Chinese characters for me?
I have a three volume Chinese book published in the 1970s with this title.
Can you tell me what it says?
Thanks!
How in the world do I clean this mystery stain?
I have no idea how it happened, but I ended up waking the morning after a road trip to find something splattered across my kitchen ceiling. How do I make it go away?
Challenge level: matte paint. [more inside]
Used laptop recommendation - Flutter development edition
I'm doing some Android and Flutter dev on my home desktop, but I'd like to take it with me. What's the cheapest laptop I could ge (used if fine) to run Android Studio reasonably well? Good emulator performance is not important because I can just test on my phone. Windows or Linux would be fine (Mac is fine too but I usually assume Max are on the expense side).
Window box ideas to encourage bees, birds and insects?
What are some plants or resources we could grow or place in two small window boxes to encourage bees and insects, or even birds? [more inside]
Is there a safe way to find passengers?
I need to go to Chicago to see a friend before they die and would prefer to drive. I would love to have someone go with me to share the driving (and gas!). There are websites for everything but I can't
find anything that helps me find a passenger. There has to be something better than just a Craigslist ad, right?
Where can I go to see the most beautiful night sky, within reason?
I want to see the most brilliant night sky I can, within reason (I don’t think I’ll be able to make it to Antarctica). Where should I go? Details within! [more inside]
ELI5 FUPA Tailoring
I have a new pair of Expensive Pants that I love in most of all th ways. They fit my thighs (thunderous) and waist (ample), BUT in between is a little loose. Like I could probably smuggle a can of beer comfortably. Is this an easy & cheap tailoring fix a small town tailor could do? Shorten my crotch seam and take in a little extra fabric in the bikini area? I know nothing of what tailors can offer me.
August 7
How do I stop hoping for reconciliation after a breakup? Should I?
Hi, Metafilter friends. I was recently broken up with (3 weeks ago) after a 3 year long relationship with the best person I know (31F/30M), mostly due to timing/mental health. I’m totally reeling. What do I do about my hopes for reconciliation? [more inside]
Non-internet (Landline) Teleconferencing Solutions
I'm having trouble finding a non-internet teleconferencing solution for a person who travels a lot, especially in China. Any recommendations or ideas would be appreciated!
Good apps/tips for mood boards
I would like to start making mood boards (that I can post on IG or wherever I decide) of different fashion, aesthetic and culture related things. How do I start? What apps are good for this to make it work physically? Any good apps to help creatively? Any tips? If someone does this, can you run through what you use to create the final product you want?
Help! I have bed bugs and roaches and I'm moving. How to do it safely?
A month ago I found 2 dead bed bugs in my tiny 350 sq ft. apartment and I haven't slept well since. There's also been an ongoing cockroach infestation downstairs. I finally bit the bullet and decided to give my notice to move because I've been stressed out living here for 2+ years despite the affordable rent. How can I ensure that I don't bring these awful little bugs with me when I move at the end of the month? I'm terrified and anxious in so many different ways. < [more inside]
I want my tombstone to offer free WiFi, so people will visit more often.
I was thinking about dying (as you do!) and about how the majority of people I know have not enjoyed a ‘good death’ so to speak. Lingering suffering with cancer, Parkinson’s, horror car crashes, diseases, suicides. In fact the only person I know who has died quickly and hopefully not too painfully was my Grandma, from a heart attack. I know most of us hope for something like that or maybe dying in our sleep, (or some other quick, pain free non-terrifying way). I’m not sure if this can even be answered, but here goes, what is the likelihood of having a ‘good death’?
Dealing with Postpartum Depression Shame
I struggled with a lot of anxiety/depression after my second child was born for over a year. Now I am great! I have a wonderful bond with my daughter. But I find it so painful when I think back to her early days, and looking at her baby pictures only brings guilt and shame, not happiness. How to move forward? [more inside]
Where to buy a leather portfolio in midtown Manhattan
What's a good place in Midtown Manhattan--or pretty quickly accessible from Midtown--where I could buy a leather portfolio tomorrow morning? Ideally something nicer and longer-lasting than a $15 piece from Target, or whatever, but I'm also not a bank executive or anything. My vague standard is: nice enough for a generic professional look, but neither so cheap nor so expensive that someone really notices or remembers it. Suggestions?
Will my half cooked chickens come home to roost?
I cooked some chicken soup by putting frozen chicken breasts in water this morning, boiling til approximately half way done.... and then, was suddenly called away! I put the "soup" in the fridge! Now, at the end of the work day, I have finished boiling these chicken breasts. They are fully cooked, the water has boiled away mostly, and the chicken is shredded and smells delicious.
Are they safe after being in the fridge for a full work day? Again, for about eight hours they were only half cooked, submerged in water, and refrigerated. [more inside]
Moving out of Hyde Park, Chicago
My expensive apartment has roaches. Where to move so that I can easily commute into Hyde Park? [more inside]
euthanasia ethics (cat)
Is it ok to euthanize my cat under these circumstances? Should I try to do more for him? [more inside]
How would Related Companies be able to removed Stephen Ross as Chairman?
What would be the process to remove Stephen M. Ross as Chairman of the Board of Related Companies?
Similar, but related, what would be the process to remove him as Chairman of the Board of Directors of Equinox Holdings, Inc. Thanks!
App recommendations for a flight with a two year old? (Sound-free)
We're taking a long flight soon and I'd like to be prepared with some games or videos to entertain our two year old in case the usual toys/snacks/books aren't enough. We don't normally do any screen time or apps so I'm not sure where to start. [more inside]
Does darker acocado oil indicate more nutrients, perhaps richer taste?
I use avocado oil for cooking, salads etc. I've noticed some avocado oils are darker, some really light colored. (Here is what I currently use.) When juicing carrots I run them through the juicer once, then run the resulting pulp through twice, each run through the juicer resulting in carrot juice which is considerably darker, almost blood-red and very, very sweet on the third run through. And that has set me to wondering if darker avocado oil is richer in avocado nutrients, richer flavor maybe. Do you know?
Indie bands with jams
I feel like in the 2000's there were a lot of "indie" bands that were doing outros in their songs that were either jams or big, explosive, loud walls of sound. When I was a teenager I had mix CDs with tons of songs by bands that had these qualities, but now that I'm 15 years older I'm having a hard time finding these. I have three that I can mention here: [more inside]
Dating while heartbroken
You were heartbroken. You met someone. Then what? [more inside]
Ex finally refinancing house; bank expects me to sign a quit claim deed
I don't want to sign a quit claim deed until I'm shown proof I'm off the mortgage/old mortgage is ended. I will of course be reading every word of anything before I sign it, but I need to know what to watch for and how to protect my financial future. [more inside]
Controlling an AC using a universal TV remote?
Every button on my window AC unit is working...except on/off. The AC still powers on via Delay Start. It came with a flimsy (infrared) remote that broke long ago.
I've seen universal AC remotes and replacements for my model, and I might go that route eventually. For today, I just want to do some cheap testing. Could an ordinary TV remote work if I programmed it with the correct Frigidaire AC code?
Nursing home time.
An elderly relative with dementia has had a rapid decline, and can no longer be cared for by their spouse. How do we go about finding a nursing home? [more inside]
PLEASE go play!?
Our almost 4.5 year old won't play alone if he's home - he just wants to be with us. Any suggestions? [more inside]
Health anxiety, lymph node edition
I've had a slightly enlarged lymph node for nine months, and yesterday it triggered a fresh spiral of health anxiety. Also, I'm moving in a week! Help me cope until my next doctor's appointment. [more inside]
What to tell my psychiatrist about taking Ritalin w/o a prescription?
I have been taking Ritalin without a prescription. I need this not to be traced back to me, hence the anonymity. My daughter was recently diagnosed ADHD and we are trying her on Ritalin. She has a large 3 month supply which I am barely giving her over the summer as it doesn't seem to improve things enough to make it worth the emotional roller coaster of how she reacts as it wears off. [more inside]
Inventions of the 21st century (not through computers or the internet)
A conversation prompted me to try to figure out what has been invented in the 21st century that isn't computer or internet based, couldn't think of many, and I'm curious to figure out some more examples. [more inside]
There's a Hole by My Window, Dear Liza
There's a hole by the bottom left-hand corner of one of the basement windows of my house (photo of the entire window, photo that shows the hole in more detail). My tenants have reported that a possum has gotten in through this wall. How should I fix this, dear Henry?
What are the best YouTube channels for at-home strength training?
I'm looking for your recommendations on the best YouTube channels for at-home strength training. [more inside]
Is my New Garage Floor Okay?
We just had a new slab poured for an old garage. Once finished there was some differences in the floor surface that has me worried. Pictures inside. [more inside]
Amazing things to do in Whistler
Headed to Whistler for three days with wife and 2 kids ( 9 and 10 ) today. Looks like there are a ton of things to do. Anything particular lakes or hikes or activities we shouldn’t miss? Any tips for Whistler newbies? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter, Los Angeles edition
Hi! Just re-located to Los Angeles and very ready to take advantage of all the amazing culture this city has. I'm not on any social media (and don't plan to join), but one way I've typically stayed on top of events is subscribing to newsletters of various museums/theaters/comedy clubs etc and actually reading them and then going to them. [more inside]
Simple solar internet?
Say you have a cellular modem that runs off a 12V power supply. Say you'd like to run it off a 12V battery bank instead of a wall wart. The battery bank's output varies from ~12V to ~13.5V depending on sunshine and what else is plugged in/running at the moment. [more inside]
Boring but comfortable men's dress socks
Looking for comfortable, breathable, boring men's dress socks. [more inside]
Allow selected sound and vibration notifications on Android
I virtually always have my Android phone on silent, and this is good because it means I'm not getting vibrations or noises to alert me to every new notification. However, it means that I miss the notifications of messaging apps where my close friends and family are trying to contact me and so I end up replying to them much later than I would prefer. What is the best way (if there is one) to keep my phone on silent while allowing sound and vibrations for notifications from only certain apps or people?
LinkedIn wants to give me career advice
I keep getting emails from my LinkedIn account - "Career Advice: You have new recommendations to view." The emails contain links to profiles. Has anyone used these? I was wondering if they are genuine offers, or, clickbait for 'premium' services. Thanks!
Material about coming off of anxiety meds after long-term use
I’m looking for reading material to support me while I come off SSRIs and Ativan after many years of use. Any science-based books, guidance by therapists, personal essays, etc. would be helpful. [more inside]
Killing the ego: wait, say what now?
I keep seeing this phrase online, used as though it’s a known thing. Googling isn’t helpful. Is this a term of art for some subculture (Christian, extremely online Stoics, etc?) and if so, what it mean?
A very proper CV.
I'm preparing a CV for a British government job. I'm used to the US job market. Is there anything I should be aware of? [more inside]
Safari spooking
When I open Safari, I get a generic page with favorite sites above and frequently visited sites below. I've never bothered to edit it, since it does it's job fine. Till today, that is. Today among the frequently visited is the site of my former workplace. How can that happen? [more inside]
Things to do in London when you're young
My two kids (5 and 8) and I will be house-sitting in London this weekend coming.
Any recommendations for cheapish / low queuing stuff to do? [more inside]
August 6
Kid-sized silencing solutions?
Smallest is 7 and wants to hear nothing at times. I have the 3M ear protection mufflers which she quite likes but they still allow some noise to come through. She wants absolute silence. The other thing is to have more options than over-the-head because there's a possibility she could be allowed to wear this at school sometimes (disability request). She has sharp physical hearing and a small-adult/big child head. Before I spend $300 on noise-cancelling headphones, is there something that just cancels? Earplugs is too finicky for school.
Good news: I've lost weight. Bad news: I'm mooning everyone
So I've now gone from around 190 to nearly my high school weight of 165. And dropping. Know what else is dropping? My pants. As in my butt, never much to speak of, has ended entirely. And now no pants seem to stay up. I've gone down waist sizes. I've tightened belts. Nada. So do any of those build your butt up things work for guys or is that bum-bunk?
Please recommend books about young women manipulating men
My brother Alex is dating a girl who is insecure, manipulative and has depression and anxiety problems. Alex’s girlfriend uses him as a psychotherapist for when she has a crisis. Sometimes she calls him in the middle of the night and Alex talks to her for hours to mitigate the crisis. This girl also regularly threatens Alex with taking her life if he will leave her.
We were telling Alex that these relationships are unhealthy, and about his girlfriend's codependency and manipulation. No success. Alex loves her and feels good about helping her to cope with her psychological problems, he feels like a superman. [more inside]
What doc management system can my small company to enable search?
What document management product / service can my small company use to enable full-organization search? That is, we would like the ability (possibly selectively, possibly with auditing) to search the entire company's documents. [more inside]
We all need love and we want protection
What was the London neighborhood of Kensington like in 1987? [more inside]
Quiet first date ideas
I’m still figuring out how much loud environments mess me up, but, uh, they definitely mess me up, to the point of pain / tension / armoring up like an armadillo. This makes connecting on first dates really hard! What are your go tos for quiet but fun first dates? I’m in Brooklyn, so anything NYC specific is great, but also I bet I’m not the only one with this problem. What say you, hivemind?
Current thinking on trans-racial adoptions?
We are beginning the adoption process, but I keep getting hung up on whether it is OK for us to adopt a black child. [more inside]
What sites do people visit for global and nationa strategic forecasting?
I am looking sites like Stratfor and Center for Strategic and International Initiatives as well as solid, well written blogs or newsletters on the topic of Global Security, Strategic Forecasting, Threat Analysis (environmental, economic, geo-political), and future studies in general.
Guidelines for behaving in a socially responsible way toward taxes?
I'm trying to be socially conscious. When it comes to taxes, the government offers many potential deductions, e.g. tax-deferred retirement accounts, deducting mortgage interest, opportunity zone funds, and some states have lower tax rates. At what point would utilizing these rules go from "being fiscally smart" to a resentment-provoking situation of "taking advantage and not paying your fair share"? [more inside]
What is this car door seal called?
I've got a 2008 Sonata and I want to replace the door seal on it. I'd like to buy a replacement online. Searching for car parts usually works for me, but not this time. What's this thing called? [more inside]
Quotations about Giving Up a Dream?
I'm looking for quotations related to the idea of giving up a dream or ambition. There are plenty of inspirational quotes about not giving up, but I'm looking for the opposite--coming to terms with the reality that something you wanted isn't going to happen. [more inside]
How to excel at retail, for anxious depressive introverts
I have not worked with actual people, or had a boss, or done a physically taxing job for ages. How do I impress the shop manager and team on my trial day tomorrow and secure this retail job? [more inside]
Poster presentation board that folds down to Letter or Legal size?
I am looking for a folding presentation board, roughly the size one would use for presenting a graph, a sales pitch, a science fair project. However, I want one that folds up into a very small form factor: preferably Letter size (8-1/2" x 11"), or Legal size (8-1/2" x 14").
I need something that can be folded up and stored in a filing cabinet when not in use. I also need it to fit into a laptop bag, backpack, or small briefcase for occasional transport. [more inside]
How do I organize all this stuff
Is there such a thing as a person who comes into my apartment and tells me what furniture and storage things I need to organize my stuff? [more inside]
What should I cook for a dinner party with a bunch of restrictions?
What should I cook for a dinner party tomorrow night, with the following dietary restrictions? [more inside]
Immigrant/Refugee Library Programs in light of El Paso
I'm the programming librarian for a midsize public library and we host a number of programs for immigrants, refugees, and new Americans with more in the planning stages. In light of the events in El Paso, how can we create a safe, welcoming space for our patrons, while also minimizing the risks of drawing attention from white nationalists and other such groups? [more inside]
How can I monetize my business ideas without running a business myself?
I have ADD, which certainly has its benefits - among them being the fact that I'm great at coming up with random ideas/frameworks for businesses which I think could really take off. Unfortunately, however, I have ADD which also has its drawbacks; I'm terrible at time management and keeping track of numbers, so I have zero confidence that any business I would hope to launch could succeed with me at the helm. Can I get some suggestions on how to monetize my business ideas while leaving daily operations to someone a bit more suited for the task? [more inside]
Unusual circulation / body temperature after swimming
I've recently started swimming (or at least futzing around in a swimming pool) regularly and am experiencing some really unexpected reactions after swimming. How normal/abnormal is this? [more inside]
Simple construction/woodworking question
I'm going to be DIY-ing an audio rack out of wood pieces and spikes to isolate each rack. How do I ensure that the holes for the spikes are drilled in the appropriate location to match up with the discs they sit in? [more inside]
Tips for workplace mediation
As a result of a formal complaint against my boss, the university we work for has asked us to undergo a mediation process. This is with an external, licensed mediator (whose professional background is as a psychologist). It's tomorrow. I'm freaking out. For anyone who has done something like this, are there any tips you can give me? [more inside]
For being an open relationship, it's getting pretty closed in here.
Am I the a**hole for insisting on maintaining an emotional affair when it makes my boyfriend uncomfortable? Caveat: I'm married and in an open relationship. [more inside]
Workplace Bathroom Etiquette Question of the Day
I have the most ridiculous question ever but it's driving me batty. A few times a week I work at a site where there is a breakroom, a restroom, and some work culture practices that leave me conflicted. Help. [more inside]
Gyms that offer day passes in San Diego
I'm going to be in San Diego for a week at the end of September. I'd like to keep going to the gym whilst I'm there, but as I'm not staying in a hotel I need options. Help! [more inside]
Why did he have this cruel behavior with me?
I met a man who seduced me only to treat me in cruelest way possible when I gave in. Why would he do that? I would like to understand out of curiosity, not because I’m still interested in him [more inside]
Cat sitting from around the corner
I asked an acquaintance who lives close by if she would feed my cat a couple of times when I went away for one night.
When I got back, she then asked me if I would do the same for her cat, for one week. [more inside]
August 5
examples of progressive victories or holding the line in swing states
When thinking about swing states, progressives often tend to focus on legislative losses or threats. I'm looking for good examples of progressive victories (including preventing losses), like the repeal of the NC "bathroom bill". [more inside]
Inspiring heroine books
Looking for well-written books with driven, decisive, inspiring (female) characters, happy to read either biographies or novels [more inside]
Looking for "A Few Good Movies"
I love the movie "A Few Good Men." I love that wrongs are righted and justice is wittily served. All the while Tom Cruise's character grows into a lawyer and a much better man. I appreciate that although the movie is a murder trial the movie itself is not crass or disturbing. What other movies would I like? For reference, I could not care less about team sports but I enjoy feel-good football movies also.
How can I learn to navigate Guess Culture?
I'm a prototypical Ask Culture critter, but I'm surrounded by High-Context Culture types. I've struggled for years, but I've finally come to understand that my way is not inherently better, and I want to learn how to interact with people‒people I'm close to‒so we can all be happy. Do you know of books or papers I should read, or things I should do? Thank you.
(My question was prompted by this article, if it helps frame the question.)
© Apple Inc. 2007
I have a last-gen iPod Classic that is still going strong after all these years. I still use iTunes to download & sync podcasts; the device doesn't have any wireless connectivity. Apple recently announced that iTunes will be discontinued in the next version of Mac OS (10.15), in favor of separate apps for Music, Podcasts, etc. Will I still be able to use this device if I upgrade to 10.15 when it comes out? [more inside]
Why can't Lookout Security's VPN work with my own VPN?
Hello folks.
I have Lookout Security Premium for my Android phone. I just learned that, as part of its Safe Browsing tool, it uses a VPN.
I also have my own VPN.
I asked Lookout if they would cancel each other out.
They said, when Safe Browsing mode is on, their VPN takes precedence over my own VPN.
I would hate to have to give up my own VPN without at least knowing if it's the best thing to do.
Does anyone have any opinion on this?
Thanks.
Cheap TV that doesn't turn itself off?
I recently bought a LG Smart TV for my cats [tax] to watch YouTube videos, but it automatically turns itself off after a few hours of no activity on the remote control, which makes it unsuitable for our purposes. I need to find a different cheap TV that plays YouTube videos and stays on 24/7 until someone deliberately switches it off. [more inside]
Another round of "Can I Eat It" - Goats Cheese edition.
Unopened package of soft goat's cheese got left out on the kitchen counter for about 20 hours. Safe to eat or not? [more inside]
Health insurance for US citizens visiting US while residing abroad?
I've been researching this question a bit and I'm having a hard time finding reliable information for how to obtain health insurance in my situation: 4 months ago I moved abroad for a Ph.D. program, and gave up my health insurance from the US. It was going to cost about $600/mo on COBRA to keep my former employer's health insurance plan, and I have excellent insurance in the country where I'm studying at $60/mo, so it didn't make sense to keep my insurance in the US. However, my family and friends all still live in the US, and I would like to visit the US for a few 2-3 month periods in the coming years. [more inside]
I want to understand Japanese current affairs. What should I read?
So there's a chance I'll be moving to Japan next year. I know a little bit about Japanese history up to the present, but not that much. I guess I want to get up to speed! Specifics inside! [more inside]
Those gender dysphoria blues, sex edition
Help me navigate this tangle of sexual inexperience, queer dating, and gender dysphoria. Yikes, it's a lot. [more inside]
Train ticket from Rome to Florence?
My girlfriend and I are vacationing in Italy in a couple of weeks. We live in the U.S. and we're experienced travelers. We land in Rome on the morning of 8/17, then intend to take the train to Florence. My question: Is it better to book my train tickets now (via web or phone app)? Or fine to buy at the train station in Rome? Thinking back to Zurich in December, it was simple to just buy the train tickets at the airport via ATM/kiosk. Not sure if they have a similar setup in Rome, though. (Yes, I know we'll have to take a train from the airport to the main train station first.)
Should I transfer from big city Canada to suburban United States?
I'm a software developer in his early thirties, based in Toronto, Canada that is considering a move to suburban Richmond, VA. [more inside]
Feel-good podcasts?
I listen to a lot of news and true-crime podcasts and I just need something lighter for this week. [more inside]
How do you interact with people begging at street corners?
My small American city has had a large growth in homeless people in the past few years, and my neighborhood has gone from having nobody visibly begging, to several corners where there are people all day (not at night). What is the best thing for me to do when I'm driving and and am approached at a red light by someone asking for money, or when walking down the street? [more inside]
Garment steamer tips and recommendations
After watching a clothing store clerk gracefully and easily steam the wrinkles out of a cotton dress in under a minute while it was on a hanger, I’m thinking of getting a garment steamer for home use and travel. Can you recommend one (available in Canada) that is durable, portable, and under $100? [more inside]
Music for a Paradise Garden
I am seeking music that will play in the public garden where I work.
It will be played twice a day for twenty minutes each time but can consist of multiple tracks for each time.
Genre: classical or sounds like it. [more inside]
Best setup for online tutoring (requiring freehand drawing)?
I'm trying to figure out a good way to tutor maths online with one (and potentially, hopefully more) of the kids I've been working with for a while. Tutoring maths really requires me to be able to draw/write freehand. I'm looking for advice on what hardware and software would make this process as slick and intuitive as possible, especially for the student. Ideally, I need a way for my student to be able to solve a past paper (i.e. writing solutions on a physical copy of the paper), and for us to then be able to both look at it and write on it at the same time. [more inside]
If you had cortisone injections, how much time it took to feel better?
My doctor told me it could take a couple of weeks to feel the effects, and the doctor who gave me the injection told me 3 to 5 days. It took me a week to get better and I was still a little sore. My doctor told me that it works very differently from person to person, and that sometimes only one injection heals, whereas sometimes it is every year, sometimes every three months. The nurse told me that it usually took three injections before healing completely. I am very lost in all the information that was sent to me. What is your experience with this treatment? [more inside]
Best rat traps and rat prevention?
The house immediately next door - feet away - is long abandoned and has a longtime critter infestation (rats, raccoons, etc.). But the house is being demolished. What can we do to reduce the rats relocating to our house? (No cats allowed.) [more inside]
Which spelling alphabet should I learn?
My name is unusual and long. This causes confusion when trying to spell it out over the phone when speaking with customer service representatives. I want to learn a spelling alphabet to improve this situation. But which one? [more inside]
The Artists' Way To Withstand Late Stage Capitalism
l've recently picked up and then abandoned Julia Cameron's THE ARTIST'S WAY for the second time, and finally realized its class perspective is why it didn't work for me. Can you help find a good alternative? [more inside]
Can I drink it? - Smoobucha
I bought an Odwalla Smoobucha (fruit smoothie + kombucha) with an expiration date of September 10th. It says it is pasteurized. It also says perishable, keep refrigerated. I took it out of the fridge and put it into my backpack to drink and then didn't drink it and didn't remember about it until two days later upon which I put it back in the fridge. Should I drink it now? [more inside]
Washington DC Auto Title Question
Help us to figure out a way to retain ownership of our car in Vermont, while finding a way for our daughter to register the car in DC, so she can park on the street there. [more inside]
Portable coconut oil
I use coconut oil as a cosmetic item (makeup remover and moisturizer). It’s very convenient when it’s cool/solid, but a huge mess when it melts into a liquid, so I’m always a little anxious when I have some in my suitcase.
What’s the best way to travel with a small amount of it (like about half a cup)?
Snacks to tempt my coworker's dog
One of my coworkers brings Frank, her 11-year old Shih Tzu, to work about once a week. Frank's favorite time of the day is when he gets to roam around the desks and beg for treats from his favorite humans in exchange for pets. What snacks should I bring to tempt Frank to my desk? [more inside]
You'll only find diamond armor in Minecraft (Material Science Jr.)
Does anyone have any recommendations for material science or properties of materials resources (books/videos/websites) for elementary age children? See details below the fold... [more inside]
How to support people with space and actual helpll ?
My Bf (26m) came back from a 8 month business trip, I found it hard to connect with him again. [more inside]
LinkedIn project basics
How do I create a new project in LinkedIn? [more inside]
Help me remember a book title
Hi, I read a fantasy novel a while ago and I was trying to tell someone about it but I can't remember the title. I also can't seem to find the right keywords to make it pop up on the web. It was the story of 3 siblings. One brother was raised by monks and he was supposed to be king after their father. The second brother was a sort of special forces soldier, part of a group that rode huge birds and protected their kingdom. The sister had remained in the palace with their Dad and when he died, she took over. Misunderstanding and greed lead to a civil war with the siblings at odds.
Does the ring a bell to anyone?
which language should I learn?
I am frustrated by only knowing one European language, but I can't decide which language I should focus on learning. Should I go for ease of learning or practical value? [more inside]
What was going on with this early 90s interactive library kiosk?
I remember there being a kiosk in the local library when I was a kid in the early/mid-90s that was my first introduction to using a touch screen. I think it involved Penn and Teller telling me to eat healthier sandwiches and I don't think I'm making this up, but I need some answers as to what this was and why it existed in the first place. [more inside]
August 4
Ballroom dancers of mefi: How do I get better at being dipped?
I have to learn some choreography where I am being dipped by my partner (my hands around his neck), and then swiveled around in a half-circle before being brought back up. I'm having trouble figuring out how to hold myself up and distribute my weight during this. [more inside]
Quick Napa/Santa Cruz advice?
We are making a relatively quick and last-minute trip to northern California; 2 days in Napa and 3 with Santa Cruz as our home base. Any advice for two active travelers who aren't particularly into winery tours? [more inside]
Looking for modern, well-regarded texts endorsing female subordination
I am looking for examples of relatively modern (1950s-present) books or other types of media that endorse a traditional patriarchal view of women - that they should be good wives to their husbands, put their husbands first, look after others, etc. [more inside]
Must I disable my router WiFi to use Eero?
I have AT&T Fiber Internet (yay, finally!), and today I installed the Eero mesh network system to improve the coverage in my plaster/brick house. [more inside]
Can I cast from my Google Pixel 2 XL to my Lenovo PC?
Any thoughts on how to cast what's playing on my phone to my Lenovo laptop running Windows 10? [more inside]
This is a question about bidets...
Since the last question about bidets is almost 2 years old, I figured I'd ask again: What's the best (but reasonably priced) bidet? [more inside]
Pick my JavaScript libraries so I don't have to evaluate all my options?
I've trying to write a simple web app, and utterly flummoxed by the array of options available for every step of it. It's as if modern web developers looked at Perl and said, "Hold my beer." Could someone read a quick description of my project and dictate to me which tools / frameworks / languages I should use? I'm happy to read tutorials and whatever for any of them, but the work of researching all of them is more than this project is worth. [more inside]
ISO stockphotos (of places) designed to have people photoshopped in
It seems like this should be a thing, but I don't really find any. Are their stock photos of places (likely big tourism attractions) that are designed (as in taken from appropriate angles with appropriate gaps) to photoshop in people. Like you if you wanted fake vacation snapshots or wanted your "fashion shoot" to take place in front of the Eiffel tower or whatever. Surely there's a name for such pictures that can be used for finding them?
Trying to use Formica as decorative interior element
I found a good marble Formica and need some input on installation, please... [more inside]
This Is (Actually) Fine
Just a quick home wiring question about two-way switches. [more inside]
What is/was the maximum number of rings on a landline?
In the olden days (i.e., 1991) when everyone had landlines, how long would a phone ring if nobody answered? I'm assuming there is/was a cut-off point -- a certain number of minutes at which point you would get disconnected, yes?
Database of old tv show and or old tv guides
i know lots of librarians use this site—-im a medical librarian—really good at bones and organs but this one is a bit out of my wheelhouse..... ihave a patron asking if there is a database that includes old tv shows—-is there a database that indexes old tv guides? two questions i really can’t answer. Thanks for any help
Most valuable post-earthquake lessons?
What were the most valuable things you learned after going through your first earthquake? [more inside]
US Queer History 101
I have a smart and empathetic friend who, due to upbringing, is largely ignorant about queer history in the US. She just learned about the Stonewall riots a few weeks ago, and now that's she's started to learn, she wants more, and is asking for resources. Her request is specifically for history, but I'm happy to share some general classic texts, too, as those are part of the history. Any suggestions? All types of media are on the table.
Books With Short Unrelated Chapters?
What are some great, interesting, immersive books with short chapters that are unrelated to one another? [more inside]
Divorcefilter -- Lawyers and Child Support and Unemployment
I'm posting this question so that a friend can remain anon. He is looking for advice on how to move forward with his divorce. Yes YANAL, but maybe you've got more experience with the divorce process/how to approach lawyers? The main questions are around how mediation works (with or without a lawyer), how to get a lawyer if that's a good idea and what role unemployment plays in the whole process as they're figuring out how to split up assets. [more inside]
To roast, or not to roast...
I’m making a tomato-based salsa, and I want to include some leftover tomatillos. Should I roast them first? [more inside]
DIY remanufacturing/recreating computer software packaging?
I bought some vintage software on CD-ROM. The discs are fine but the box and manuals are not. Dented, torn, and stained with brown splatters. How feasible is it to recreate the packaging? Make some replacement manuals in PDF, recreate box art, and print a new cardboard box and stuff? Have any vintage game collectors done anything similar? Where would I find out how to do this?
Seeking high-instep slip-on shoes for style-conscious tween
Difficulty level: boy. And while I am a cheapskate, I want to get him something cool enough.
He wears a men’s 7, and keeps growing vertically out of his shoes. He strongly prefers slip-on sneakers. The default is the Converse Chuck Taylor slip-one, which work ok, but suddenly he’s getting a cracking callous on top of his foot! Yikes. I wonder if there’s a solution that will fit his proportions better. [more inside]
Talk me through the possibility of moving to Montreal
I've been offered a job in Montreal. I'm trying to decide if I should take it. I don't know Montreal at all. I'm trying to come to grips with the logistics of it all: where to move, how to move, what I need to do from a government point of view (healthcare, driver's licence, etc.) Details inside. [more inside]
Best Kinesioloy athletic tape
I have an injury and was told by my doctor to tape under one knee using athletic tape. I've been using one kind that often comes undone. I am looking for a recommendation for athletic tape that lasts for a few days and sticks well. And does the colour make a difference as with one tape I read one online review that said beige did not stick and black and white did. Too many brands so I'm hoping someone can guide me.
How does the Steam 'Community Market' work?
I played TF2 a lot in the years before it went F2P, and continued a bit through its transition to lootbox complexity I can't understand anymore.
Consequently, I have a few hundred items in my inventory I don't ever intend to use and would like to liquidate them. How do I do this easily and get a fair value? [more inside]
Frontend programming project/lesson for backend programmer
Seeking a lesson/project/tutorial where I can learn frontend programming while/via making something. Not too picky about language as long as it's not ridiculously outdated. [more inside]
Math/Stats: Most common middleing factor
Mathematics / Statistics Filter: I have a set of numbers, but I don't necessarily want the lowest common factor or greatest common denominator. I want a number somewhere in between. [more inside]
Your favourite new music
So I’m on the hunt for some new music- please share with me your favourites.
Snowflakes:
Must be upbeat rather than slow, Must have come out in the last year and a half, Could be pop, RnB, dance, hip hop, Latino, something like that, Suggestions not in English are ok too, Would ideally like to purchase via iTunes store
Thanks!!
Modelling water flow - software
I'm seeking fluid modelling software, especially for water. I would like to do this at least partly in software as it takes more water flow than I can achieve at home. But what software? I need free, pref. FOSS, okay with cmd-line. I've looked at OpenFOAM but it's very hard to install, blender shows good graphics but I need realwater capability, and last time I tried blender 2009 it was hard to draw a polygon - also are Blender's water graphics 'real' or just pretty?! So what else is out there? [more inside]
August 3
Best Bujo Blogs?
Okay I'm totally into planners and bullet journals now, and I'd love to find a blog that just shows off a variety of other people's spreads and neat stickers/tools. I don't want just one person's blog of their spreads, but something that aggregates a bunch of the best spreads from all over bujo/planner-world. It's very easy to find one-person blogs, but very hard to find a showcase of the coolest stuff from across the bujo/planner space! [more inside]
How do I manage my thoughts around this project?
Hi, AskMe. :) I've been involved in a side project for the past while which is finally starting to come to fruition in a big way, and I'm trying to figure out how to handle my feelings about it. Any advice would be welcome. Warning, a bit long. [more inside]
teaching people to show more empathy in a conversation?
Is there a fairly clear but kind, gentle, not upset or sarcastic way to tell someone that when you tell them that something shitty happened to you, you would like them to say something empathetic? Or further, that that's a wise thing to do in general? The people in question are generally friends or dates, not family or serious partners, and have often been younger than me and perhaps not raised to talk about feelings. Sometimes I've just quietly written them off, or ignored it, but I think saying something once or twice may be a better choice.
Multicolored Chinese paper lanterns
I love a particular kind of Chinese paper lantern, which seems to have vanished from the Earth -- or at least as much of the Earth as is reachable by English-language internet. I just found some from someone on Etsy who found them used and doesn't have any more. Yay! But they only last for three months or so, before they're completely faded. I have found many, many Chinese lanterns online -- but not these. Please help me source them!
Are there non-binary pronouns in Spanish?
Knowing that Spanish is a gendered language, have any new pronouns come about? Does anyone know how non-binary folk refer to themselves in Spanish?
You're Killing Me Smalls
Help! I talked to my friend and told her she should come out to visit me in October. We didn't set any dates since she wasn't sure she could get any time off work. Next thing I know, she's booked a flight and is planning on staying for eight days. That's way too long for for my introverted husband and I. How to politely tell her her visit is too long? Details after the jump. [more inside]
Really, we could just order pizza
My partner and I live very close to their parents, who often invite us over for dinner. Frequently this is just ordering out, but sometimes MIL likes to cook. However, she has significant attention and organization problems which results in dinner often not happening until several hours after the designated time. This is negatively affecting my partner's health, and we're trying to figure how to handle future dinner invites. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
What is my job title?
What is my job title? (scanning, printing, archiving) [more inside]
What's a good way to "test" a friendship?
How do you know if someone's a true friend before they wreak havoc in your life? [more inside]
Which hanging high chair should we get?
We're in the market for a hanging high chair (the kind that clamps/hooks onto a table). Two options have come out as frontrunners, but one has a 5-point harness and the other has a 3-point harness. Is one significantly better than the other? Snowflakes under the fold. [more inside]
Dinner Recipes for the Clumsy
This is a very specific question. Simply speaking, I am very clumsy and I need dinner recipes for my ability level. My fine (and gross) motor skills are very poor. Today I sliced my finger on the sharp edge of a can in an average day of cooking (normal for me). These things are hard for me: washing up by hand, difficult chopping, stir-frying in a shallow pan. Unfortunately, I do have to batch-cook for a family of three. Please suggest dinner recipes (preferably with protein) that are suitable for me. [more inside]
What does ACC stand for?
On the Forever 21 site, the category button (with three lines) in the top left corner lists “Women and ACC” at the top. I’ve never seen this before; what does ACC mean? Thanks!
Recommend me your favourite padded cycling underpants, UK women
I’m trying to get back into cycle commuting and I’d really like some underpants with padding (not full cycling shorts) to wear underneath my 3/4 length trousers. [more inside]
"Platform for the People" that includes legislation?
I'm looking for experiences with or, ideally, strong examples of a focused, legislatively-driven "people's platform" for small cities or communities. More explicitly, I would love material developed for garnering candidate commitments ahead of an election. [more inside]
Do you put the same head shot on composite card as your 8 by 10 photo?
I have a head shot that is an 8 by 10 for a talent agency. It is for modeling and acting, but now I am preparing a composite card. I have four photos on one side and plan to put my head shot on the other side. [more inside]
Slimy Watermelon Syndrome
Most watermelons are "crisp", with tiny corpuscles of water that burst as you chew. Some watermelons are slimy. They're just as moist, but water permeates the flesh evenly. More cantaloupe-like.
Is slimy watermelon syndrome (SWS) just the result of overripeness? Or is it varietal?
Hunt for the elusive bath mat.
My shower steps out into a square, tiled landing of around 35" x 35". While we have a 34" x 21" bath mat that technically allows for safe entry and exit out of the shower, it's an open shower - meaning that wherever the mat is positioned, the rest of the tile gets wet and sloppy. I'd prefer to have a mat that covers as much of that space as possible. However, it doesn't seem like anyone makes any square bathmats in the 32"x32" to 34"x34" range, and custom mats cost hundreds of dollars. Help?
Is this naturally occurring?
I noticed this on a palm tree. Is it man-made? If yes, what is it for?
Summertime and the living is chickpeas
What are your favorite vegetarian chickpea salad recipes? [more inside]
Fayrouz in Chicago
I recently moved to Chicago from Boston. Do the equivalents of my favorite Boston places exist here? Three part question. [more inside]
Gentle, happy, bright, piano musicians and songs, spotify edition
Question - I really like piano music, find it very soothing, but the limited collection of piano artists I know are on the melancholic side of what I want to listen to right now (or at least part/most of their repertoire is). SO - what are your favorite non-sad, instrumental, piano songs and artists? [more inside]
Discussing the terrible book my father gave me with him?
The book is Mindset: Changing the way you think to fulfil your potential by Dr Carol S. Dweck. How do I review this back to him? He's going to want to have a long, serious conversation about what I've learned from it.
Sample: "Many females have a problem not only with stereotypes, but with other people's opinions of them in general. They trust them too much." [more inside]
Spice up my legumes...
I'm looking for your best recipes using beans, lentils, rice, quinoa, couscous, polenta, oats, etc. cupboard staples along with spices and sauces to make easy flavourful meals. [more inside]
Help with actionable steps for mental clarity and health?
I'm feeling super burnt out and looking for a simple "do this" plan to follow so I can feel better and sharpen up my mind. Any advice or resources for an efficient way to approach gaining more focus, when there are several variables all at once? [more inside]
My crush got outed, it isn't mutual, I'm embarrassed and can't avoid
I have had a crush on someone in my friend/hobby group. He has figured this out and told me it’s never happening, in the “I do like you but I have issues so I won’t date anyone” sort of way. I have obligations going on for the next two weeks in which I will be seeing him frequently. I don’t know what to do here. [more inside]
What is this seven-bladed implement?
With a recent purchase of herb scissors, one of my housemates received this bonus implement with no information about its use.
What is it? Our best guess is a garlic mincer but its suitability for that role seems dubious.
Books with pictures for my 8 year old
My 8 year old loves reading. She just finished Nimona and thought it was great (and hilarious in parts. I agree.) She also liked Lumberjanes. She does fine with books that have pictures. But, she won‘t read books without pictures, which rules out some really great recommendations like Harry Potter and Tiffany Aching. Can you recommend books with sophisticated content (not for 5 year olds) that have a picture on every page?
August 2
Buspirone questions
Hi, I'm taking 10mg of buspirone 3x a day (I was offered Paxil at the same time). I'm taking it because I have an abnormal panic disorder presentation because my body is in panic while my mind is not. I've been taking this for over a month after taking 5mg-3x/day to start off. I feel like I'm living my daily life on the edge of Bad Things, and I have extended-release propranolol to take for bigger maintenance and also 1mg lorazepam to take when things are truly bad. How much should I be expecting from this dosage of buspirone, are there any negatives to report, and yes my other meds work but they are as-needed measures not daily (3x-a-day) tablets, and I want accounts of taking this and what I might get from more or less.
Romertopf clay cooking pot has lid with a slight nick?
Do I need to glue a small nick on my Romertopf clay cooking pot lid? [more inside]
What else does to you what watching “The Barrel” does to you?
A friend and I were recently enraptured by the video for The Barrel by Aldous Harding (The first 3 minutes isn’t even the weird bit). It’s Lynchian I guess, but with intense emotions, complex sexuality and ironic femininity. What else might we explore in music videos and other visual art forms?
Help with choosing an apartment with equal but competing priorities
I have graduated law school and I am moving to a huge city to be a prosecutor. I don't know my assignment yet but there's a good chance I'll be at the trial level and will have long hours as is usual, as I understand, for an office of this size. I've landed on two apartments which I cannot decide on because I can't figure out where my ultimate priorities are. I'm hoping to get advice from people about factors I haven't considered, and also perspectives from people similar to me who maybe have found one of these options to be better for them. I list the pros and cons below, their costs and quality and everything else is just about equal. [more inside]
Developing Characters
What are some fun tools / techniques / tricks, etc., to help me develop interesting and dynamic fictional characters? [more inside]
Is there an app for this? Fill in a webform for me when I'm not around..
I'm wondering if there's an app that will help me fill out a webform at a specific time (when I'm not around)... or if not, how hard it would be to create?
CSS help - on MetaFilter!
I'm trying to make this all hyperlinks custom style and this just plus & minus sign custom style both work so the plus & minus signs are larger than the other hyperlinks. But it seems the former is winning and the plus/minus sign style doesn't work at all when the all-links one is active. How can I make both work? [more inside]
Goodbye, Facebook
I want to host a private, plaintext email list serv. How do I do that cheaply and easily? I am willing to pay for hosting/software. I have zero code skills and don't really want to learn much. What's a good option for me + 50 of my closest friends?
As easy as frozen shrimp?
I've recently started cooking frozen, shelled shrimp for dinner a lot. I'm trying to branch out, but I hate to cook and want to spend as little time/effort as possible. Can you suggest some other dinner ideas that have the same properties? [more inside]
Does this kind of photo book exist?
I'm looking to get the hundreds of family photos on my phone and computer printed in hard copy before they one day disappear into the cloud forever, but I'm having trouble finding a photo book service that suits my needs. [more inside]
Getting fit without losing too much facial volume? How?
I lost about 60 pounds of baby weight and lost a lot of volume on my face... so much that one of my eyes started to sag! Horrified- I went to a top harley street eye doctor and she did some filler that lifted my eye. She advised me not to do extreme exercise or to lose too much weight to prevent much further loss of facial volume. I would like to lose maybe 4 more pounds and get fitter. At the moment I am active with the kids but not exercising. Where to go from here? [more inside]
Mounting hardware for under shelf lighting.
I'm setting up a new, hopefully more attractive, shelf system for my Haworthia collection and am struggling with mounting my lights under my new shelves. I'm looking for advice on mounting solutions that retain the ability to take the light fixtures down when needed. Ideally some sort of clip in, pop out hardware that I can attach to each piece. [more inside]
Should I keep this job?
I do not appear to be a very good fit for my current job. Looking for advice on how to move forward. [more inside]
How can I figure out if bowflex 1090 dumbells are safe?
I want to buy a set of bowflex 1090 dumbells. They sound great, but a disturbing number of online reviews mention scary issues of plates falling off the dumbells. I'm trying to figure out how worried I should be about this... [more inside]
Birthday present quandary. Difficultly level: 8 yr old girl
Granddaughter is having a birthday. We had an idea for present, but it fell through. What now? Details below fold. [more inside]
Using zero-interest cards to pay down credit card debt?
I've managed to slowly but surely rack up significant credit-card debt and was thinking of using a zero-interest card(s) to help pay down the debt. I was wondering if this is a good idea and what would be involved with this. [more inside]
Help me rejigger my businesses
How do I transfer ownership of a US company to a US non-profit? [more inside]
What can I use instead of a spreadsheet for my personal journals?
I keep a personal journal, of the "stuff that happened today" variety. It's a long org-mode file. I also keep a Google Sheets spreadsheet journal, which records things like how much sleep I get each day, whether I was sick, and whether I had caffeine. Is there any way to combine these? I like using a spreadsheet so I can do things like calculate averages over time, my regular journal entries are often several paragraphs long and would be awkward to put into a spreadsheet.
I've read that it's bad practice to use spreadsheets when what you really need is a database. But I don't know anything about databases.
I'm using Android / Chromebook / Linux.
peak human
What travel experiences can I have that will leave me in awe of an experience of community or human achievement? Maybe it's a specific place? An event? Basically I'm asking a question like this or this, except I want to be connected with humankind instead of nature.
How do I Beach with my elderly mother?
My mom will be 84 in September. She would like to go to the beach for her birthday, probably for the last time. I'd like suggestions to help make it great. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
August 1
If an uninsured driver causes an accident will I be out the deductible?
If an uninsured motorist causes my insured neighbor's van to damage my vehicle how likely will it be that I'm out the deductible? [more inside]
What song did I hear at the gym the other day?
What new (I think) pop (or hip hop) song is a girl singing about wanting someone to spend his life with her and then wanting that someone to spend the night with her? [more inside]
Shopify vs Bigcommerce API quality / ease of use
I'm a developer and looking at these two platforms from an integration point of view (updating complex product pricing models, adding new customer accounts and products, etc) I'm looking for recommendations or experiences with the APIs specifically from a developer point of view - are either particularly painful to work with? how is the documentation and community in actual use? Are there scenarios that you'd expect to work that don't? [more inside]
Why does my shoulder hurt?
I am having moderate to severe shoulder pain, particularly when I move my arm in a certain way, as described below. Please help me understand what the problem might be, and how to deal with it. [more inside]
Safe to use "Send Money to a Friend" Paypal option to pay a vendor?
A non-US vendor is asking me to pay him through Paypal using the ‘Send Money to a Friend’ option. Is this safe? [more inside]
Kitchen Renovation Insanity: Tiling Edition
We are finally renovating my kitchen. I am having arguments with my husband about many things about the kitchen but the final one appears to be tiling. I'm losing my mind and my patience. Help me solve this simple problem.
Do you tile the wall behind built-in cabinets and countertops? That's it. Simple. [more inside]
Sourdough Starter Fail?
Following this recipe and using a local microbrewery ale, I was off to a good start(er), but missed day three feeding and put it in the fridge on day four. It's now day six... [more inside]
What's this chalked on our sidewalk?
After dinner my husband went to the corner store and found this [see photo] chalked on the sidewalk right in front of our building. It wasn't there when we came home earlier. It's chalked in such a way that it faces you when you exit our building. (We're in a 2-family brownstone in NYC, so it's on the sidewalk just outside our gate.) Any clues as to what it means? Should we be freaked out because it seems so directly aimed at us? [more inside]
Can I apply to a job without the recruiter that told me about it?
A recruiter messaged me out of the blue for a great job! But it looks like I'll be better off doing it myself. Is that permitted, etiquette-wise? [more inside]
How to monitor the open/closed status of a garage door?
Because Reasons, it can be difficult for us, inside the house, to be sure our garage door is closed. For over two decades we've had a simple monitor we purchased on SkyMall (!!!!) that has a battery-run sensor that sticks on the garage door, and a small plug-in monitor that we put inside the house. Green light = closed. Red light = open. Only, 20 years in, it broke. I can't find a simple replacement. [more inside]
Parking in Portland, ME in the summer
I will staying on Peaks Island, off Portland, Maine, for a week mid-August, renting a cottage. My daughter will be driving up and staying with me for a few days mid-week. She'll need to put her car somewhere in Portland for up to 4 days. [more inside]
Halloween costumes when it is hot
The kidlet loves dressing up for Halloween, but every year I have to carry a beach bag to catch all of his costume components as he sheds them because it is "too hot". We live in a hot area of the world. What can he dress up as that will meet his desires of dinosaur/world domination/rawr/etc. but also not be "too hot"? Please note: he doesn't tolerate makeup well and would prefer not to wear wigs, but will if the costume is cool (ha) enough. [more inside]
looking for a hook/clip-on small bedside waste basket
I felt sure this must be a thing which exists, but either I'm the first one to think of the idea or my usually competent google-fu is failing me. Basically looking for a small wastepaper basket/ bin/trash can but with some sort of wire hook, fabric ties, or similar which let you hang it off the side of a wood framed bed. [more inside]
Only a genius can answer this question!
Is there a name for the phenomenon where a social media post presents a lightly challenging problem as a difficult brain teaser and dares you to try and be a "genius?" Is there any background information or studies I can read about why this is a thing and so seemingly pervasive? [more inside]
Kill a couple hours in San Diego before checking in
We will be landing in San Diego around noon on Monday and have about 4 hours to kill before we can check into our rental house. What should we do? Some complications below the fold. [more inside]
Bilingual Belgians?
I'm watching Unité 42 on Netflix and noticed something puzzling. I have always labored under the assumption that Belgians spoke both French and Flemish fluently. In one scene, though, the police are questioning a government official who is speaking in (I think?) Flemish, and the older cop has to translate it into French for the younger cop. Don't they learn both languages in school? And what's the significance of a government official not speaking a language all 3 people understand?
Still at sea after several days back on land
I was lucky to go on a multi-day sailing trip with some friends recently. Though this was a few days ago I'm still feeling significant aftereffects, and rather than improving it's almost worse today than it was the first day back on land. This doesn't seem to be about getting land legs back, but instead it's a prevailing sense when I'm stationary that my whole body is still at sea and I have to compensate for phantom motion. What’s going on? How much longer could this continue? Can I do anything about it? [more inside]
Adult children at home without work or school
This MetaFilter thread discusses adult children who have chosen to stay at home with their parents without having a job or going to school for extended periods of time. I'm interested in hearing from families who have directly dealt with this or similar issues, where their adult children stayed in the home for six months or more by choice without a plan for work or school. What did you do to help support your child? What worked and what didn't? [more inside]
Is this cultural appropriation?
Having seen a recent ask on cultural appropriation, I'm now wondering whether some of the items decorating my home could be considered offensive? [more inside]
Is there such a thing as too much (LED) light in a cannabis grow box?
How much light is too much for growing cannabis in a small space? There has to be an upper limit, but I can't get a straight answer. [more inside]
How do I find a close by option to recycle soda cans?
How do I find the nearest one of these can recycling machines to my apartment? I live in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, NYC. (Or how do I find the nearest option to recycle cans? Doesn’t have to be a machine.)
Finding an image based on a not very good painting
I wanted to revisit the first painting I did (or at least the first in over 20 years) and compare my progress. The problem is, I can't find the original source image on google [more inside]
[pause] ka-CHING [pause] ka-CHING [pause] ka-CHING . . . ad nauseum
What app was this woman using? [more inside]
Things to do in Oklahoma
What should I plan to do/see during my short stay in Oklahoma? [more inside]
anniversary dinner near Booth Theater NYC?
Any recommendations for a fancy anniversary dinner that I could do before a 7pm (I know) show at Booth Theater? [more inside]
What's the easiest way to transfer my xbox 360 save files to an xbox one
I have an Xbox 360 and I just purchased an Xbox One. Can someone walk me through the easiest way to get my save files from the 360 to the One? I read that I needed to get Xbox live in order to transfer the files, so I have a 14 day trial set up. Thanks.
Superheroes in hot weather
What are some occupational hazards a superhero might experience during a heatwave? [more inside]
MEDICINE - Endocrinology - What is the DEFINITIVE Textbook Ever Written?
So, I've been told there's this HUGE tome, a textbook of 2200 pages on Endocrinology. What is the name and author?
I want to store documents online and be able to link to them
I wish to use Google Docs as a portfolio. It's easy to link to a document which has been published online, but [more inside]
If someone else pays off my student loans...
How will it affect my personal credit? [more inside]