Help me return to work more

July 7, 2023 5:25 AM

I work in a hybrid office/remote job but I'm finding it's better for me to work at work. However, I'm having a hard time motivating myself to go to the office on days when I don't have meetings or other obligations in my office. Help me get myself back to work more often, please.

I'm a 50-ish salaried professional person with ADHD who has a job that was almost entirely on-site before the pandemic. We went home for a few years. Now we seem to be a hybrid workplace, though this is still all in flux. My employer would like us to be at work 3 days a week, but this isn't a formal rule for all classes of employees, and it's not being enforced among my peers. Some of my colleagues are rarely in-person. I typically have in-person obligations at the office one to three days a week. Sometimes I intentionally schedule meetings at the office on other days, to force myself there. I find I get more done in my office at work, and it's hard to focus on work at home (pets, kids, laundry, dishes, etc).

However, I rarely go to my office when I don't have to. I'm not far, only a few miles away, and I have a pleasant commute (seriously). Sometimes it's just more convenient to stay home -- I can walk the dog during the day, prepare and eat lunch whenever I want, I don't have to get myself dressed and out, and it's easier to work from home if I'm going to be out in the evening -- but I also think my mental and physical health are better when I actually do go to work and then come home.

This is a long shot. Short of trying to schedule a meeting or other obligation at work most work days (which isn't totally under my control), can you all think of any ways I could truly motivate myself to go to work at work more often?

Before the pandemic, I couldn't have imagined working from home more than very occasionally (like if a repair person was coming to the house, for example). And yet now I find myself working, poorly and unhappily, at home so much more.

posted by anonymous to Work & Money (23 answers total)

Anyway you can start a walking club? There might be a wellness challenge you could use. Invite people on site to walk with you at a specific time.
posted by MadMadam at 5:33 AM on July 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

Is your work computer a laptop that you take back and forth? Could you leave it at the office some evenings so you have to come in the next day?
posted by staggernation at 5:45 AM on July 7, 2023 [12 favorites]

Seconding the "leave your work laptop at work" if that's an option. I've mostly been work at home, but I did a few years in office and literally lived across the street for a good chunk of that. Leaving my laptop at work made me feel like I was leaving work behind officially for the day, and meant I had to go back the next day.
posted by jzb at 5:56 AM on July 7, 2023

Can you go to the office in the morning then come home for lunch and wfh in the afternoon? I do this sometimes and find it works better for me than trying to be at the office for the full day.
posted by lomes at 6:03 AM on July 7, 2023 [4 favorites]

When I have this kind of situation, I find it's best to just do the thing that works. Go work at work. Maybe work at home on Fridays or Mondays if it'll let you get a bit of extra homestuff done or focus in a different way for a specific kind of task you need to do.
posted by Lyn Never at 6:22 AM on July 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

Something I have done in a similar situation in the past was give myself a reward that I can ONLY get if I do the thing I know I should do and want to do, but don't feel sufficiently motivated to do. So, for instance, I only get to stop off at the coffee place and get a specialty coffee on the days I do the thing. Or I only get to do my preferred workday wind-down activity (spend 30 minutes playing a mindless video game as soon as I get home) IF I do the thing first. So I wouldn't get wind down time on a WFH day.
posted by eleslie at 6:49 AM on July 7, 2023

Are there treats that you really like (such as chocolate?) that you normally have at home, which you could remove from your house and keep only in your office? Then you only get those treats on days when you go to the office.
posted by heatherlogan at 7:05 AM on July 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

My primary motivator for going into the office is if I have arranged to meet someone, even if it's just for coffee. So maybe try that. I also find routine helps, so maybe say Tuesday to Thursday you go into the office every day.

The thing that would be a big blocker for me if I was to go into the office more frequently is that I would need to get out of bed earlier. So I think I'd need to just decide I was going to get out of bed every weekday at 7 rather than 8 whether I was going in to the office or not.
posted by plonkee at 7:29 AM on July 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

Ah, this was me last fall. I think, counterintuitively, in my case what worked was to start going to the office five days a week. I am just not a "hybrid workweek" person - I want to work at the same place every day. I can't articulate why that is but it was clearly only once I started going in all week that I started going in at all. And once that band-aid was ripped off I was like "this is great, why did it take me so long to start going back in?"
posted by potrzebie at 7:48 AM on July 7, 2023 [3 favorites]

I'm not far, only a few miles away, and I have a pleasant commute (seriously).

Early in the pandemic, I saw reporting that work-from-home and not having to commute was seen as a boon to everybody except those who commute by bike, who generally said that they missed their commute. Maybe give bike commuting a try?
posted by gauche at 7:53 AM on July 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

Something that (unintentionally) made me want to go in to work more often: I moved to a much brighter location in the office. The difference was almost literally night and day. When I moved, I also took the opportunity to declutter, which also helped. I was gifted a wooden box of assorted teas just before the move, so I brought that in. I am thinking of bringing in one of my favourite mugs too. All of this has made going in to the office a lot more cheerful.

So if you are able to do this, I'd suggest changing your physical environment in the office. Either move physically to a different cube/desk/office, and/or declutter or rearrange or feng shui the place. You might even meet new co-workers (if that's something you are up to) in a new area in the office.

Another thing that I did a few times, again unintentionally, was I kept leaving a book that I was reading during lunch at work. It forced me to go in just so I could read it. In retrospect, I think that was a form of temptation bundling.
posted by methroach at 7:57 AM on July 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

Early in the pandemic, I saw reporting that work-from-home and not having to commute was seen as a boon to everybody except those who commute by bike, who generally said that they missed their commute. Maybe give bike commuting a try?

Seconding this, if you can do it. I have to work in the office two days a week and hate it, *except* my bike commute, which is basically the way I trick myself into going into the office. I hated not commuting during the pandemic and it's always what I missed most and was most excited to get back to when I was on vacation.

I have ADHD too. Routine also helps - I do Monday and Tuesday to get it out of the way - and I have a set approach of packing a tasty lunch with little treats in it that makes it all feel more pleasant, like being in the office is some kind of special treat. It also makes me feel like I have conquered the powers that be that want us there mostly to spend money in the immediate area because they can't be bothered to make our downtown areas pleasant places for people so that they *want* to live, work and play there.

The bed to work pipeline on my in-office days is also honed so that I don't even have time to think about it (no time for sitting down!) and just do my stuff and get out the door before I can talk myself out of it. It totally sucks that I have to do this before my medication has a chance to kick in but it's in play by the time I arrive at my desk so that's fine. Plus I have lots of nice office clothes and accessories that I never wear at home so that's part of the enjoyment, wearing a cute little outfit.
posted by urbanlenny at 8:29 AM on July 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

Things that have worked for me:
- commuting by e-bike with my neurotypical husband (we have a cargo e-bike, he pedals and I ride on the back)
- joining a gym at the office, which compels me to go in on days that are part of my workout routine
- scheduling in-person work meetings, social engagements or personal appointments that require me to go to the office
- packing my bag the night before to make it easier to get out of the house
- having a long-term creative project that I can only do at the office (right now it’s a really hard jigsaw puzzle)
posted by alicat at 8:46 AM on July 7, 2023

I hate packing lunches, so packing for several days at a time encourages me to go in because otherwise I "wasted" that energy.
posted by metasarah at 8:57 AM on July 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

Plan to do something in the evening that is near your office, so you'll have a reason to be in that part of town anyway.
posted by essexjan at 9:01 AM on July 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

Lots of good suggestions here, but one other thought: Maybe taking on a responsibility that will get you into the office even if you don't have a meeting, like being the person who waters the plants on Mondays or cleans out the fridge on Fridays or whatever. Something low-key enough that nothing suffers if you do something wild like take a vacation and skip a week of fridge-cleaning, but motivating enough that it will get you in most Fridays because you want the plants to be healthy and the fridge not to be gross.

Hell, are you the kind of person motivated by streaks or sticker charts? Go wild. Give yourself stickers for days you're in the office. Make yourself a punch card and get a treat if you go in X days straight. (But again, make sure your system has enough flexibility that your brain won't yell at you if have a perfectly good reason to skip a day.)
posted by Stacey at 9:05 AM on July 7, 2023

You could pre-arrange a certain day of the week to attend the office with the other in-person colleagues. Include lunch. Planned interpersonal connection is the only thing that would reliably get me in.

It’s super rational to want to stay at home. Your employer is paying you to finish your tasks and complete any scheduled hours, it’s ok if you’re not maximally productive. Focus on the physical and mental health benefits. Perhaps there’s another way to achieve the same benefit.
posted by shock muppet at 10:12 AM on July 7, 2023

Can you keep a plant at work? Sometimes that's all the motivation I have to get into the office.

Another motivator is lunch or dinner out. I carpool with my husband sometimes and those days we plan on picking up dinner on the way home.
posted by jraz at 10:13 AM on July 7, 2023

I envy you if your employer will let you leave things at the office because I know that would work for me as a motivator to go in, but the current situation where i work is "please come in more often, but don't you dare leave any assigned company property at the office."

What has worked for me is scheduling errands to run on the way home, which I find much easier than motivating myself to leave my home office to run the same errands.
posted by emelenjr at 10:17 AM on July 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

Maybe being accountable to others might help, you could try to find a way to make your in-office schedule common knowledge. My boss has let her team know what days are her in-office days, and will send an email out to our team if she has to deviate from that schedule.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 10:31 AM on July 7, 2023

I think the fact that your in-office schedule isn’t enforced is what makes this most difficult. Working from home is simply easier. But I, like you, also feel most productive when I’m in the office, and it helps me mentally separate my work life from home life.

I don’t like being in the office when no one else is there except that if the office is *really* empty you can have some fun with it, like bringing in a speaker to listen to music. I also like using my nice travel mugs and little lunchbox and ice packs and having some fun thing to eat at lunch, and looking at how my office plant is doing.

I think working from home every other day is the best schedule because then I can sleep in a little every other day and not having to wash my travel mugs and lunch/snack containers every single day.
posted by wondermouse at 11:48 AM on July 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

(I know how this sounds but) I LOVE going to the office if there’s someone I have a crush on there. I realize this may not be possible or advisable for you, but I thought I’d mention it as a wildcard because it was my number one motivator.

My second most persuasive motivator was the lunch out or at the cafeteria with a work friend. Could you have a standing weekly lunch with a colleague (or nearby pal?)
posted by kapers at 4:51 PM on July 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

Plan to do something in the evening that is near your office, so you'll have a reason to be in that part of town anyway.

What has worked for me is scheduling errands to run on the way home, which I find much easier than motivating myself to leave my home office to run the same errands.

Both of these things work for me.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 8:25 PM on July 7, 2023