Treats / rewards other than food and new things

July 20, 2020 6:37 AM

Rewards for tasks that were difficult or new habits that don't involve food or shopping

I'm trying to train myself to build better habits, but so far nothing works as well on a visceral level as food. I also buy myself stuff as an alternative but I also don't want to own so much stuff and there really aren't that many products that I want.

Maybe massages? Baths? Walks?

posted by existentialwhale to Human Relations (17 answers total)

what about the old school elementary sticker system? get your some cute stickers and make yourself some kind of weekly/monthly count goal and post it in a prominent place in the house that you see a lot.
posted by zsh2v1 at 6:39 AM on July 20, 2020 [1 favorite]

Vices. I buy my own compliance with screentime and bong hits, but it can be whatever non-food "bad" habit you're half-ass trying to break.
posted by Freyja at 6:52 AM on July 20, 2020

Not sure what's open near you at the moment but I try to treat myself with experiences - perhaps this would work in conjunction with some sort of daily chart? Then you could have milestones and get to take yourself out to - a gallery, lunch at that fancy healthy place, an all-day walk at that reserve you've been meaning to go to, that super fancy box of 4 chocolates that costs an arm and a leg.
posted by london explorer girl at 6:56 AM on July 20, 2020

I've used massages and pedicures for this in Normal Times.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:29 AM on July 20, 2020 [1 favorite]

A day off work, if you can swing it?
posted by jennypower at 7:34 AM on July 20, 2020 [1 favorite]

If you have a garden, some new plants? Or tool upgrades?
posted by Balthamos at 7:36 AM on July 20, 2020 [1 favorite]

If leaves in water don't count as food in this context, then perhaps a mug of delicious tea of a kind you don't routinely drink already (green, black, herbal, oolong, whatever).

Something you like to smell: cut flowers, or a drop of perfume, or herbs, or a scented bath.

Something you like to look at: flowers again, or a page from an art book, or photos of cats on the internet.

Something that makes you laugh. Find a webcomic with a huge archive and read one comic (or a batch of them) as a reward. Or buy a really big book of cartoons (Complete Far Side?) as a one-off expense and read a page or two of that at a time.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 7:57 AM on July 20, 2020 [2 favorites]

If you can afford to (assuming you don't want shopping suggestions mostly because you don't want more physical items around), then what about paid versions of apps/media? E.g. Duolingo Plus upgrade, digital news subscriptions, paid version of a dating app if you use one, etc.
posted by dogwalker3 at 7:58 AM on July 20, 2020 [2 favorites]

Guilt-free me-time. "Between 8-10 i'm doing whatever I feel like doing". So that means during those times you do whatever you want to do, not what you feel like you should be doing. No work, no exercise unless you legitimately enjoy something, no dishes or other chores, no kids... just 2 hours of binging netflix/playing video games/sitting in the bath listening to a podcast/mindlessly flipping thru instagram/having a nap/whatever.
posted by cgg at 8:56 AM on July 20, 2020 [9 favorites]

Make the food less problematic. 1 very small dark chocolate is kind of good for you. The fancy white cherries, the really good apples or strawberries, lamb chops, takeout salad.

Star/ reward charts work. Make a calendar page, or use a wall calendar, drawn star for every time you do/don't do a task. 4 stars gets a sticker, 4 stickers gets a book, hair pins, cool bandana to wear as a scarf in case you forget your mask, cute usb thumb drive, burt's bees lib balm, good nail files. I love art and office supplies - colored pencils, sharpies, nice pens, post-its. cheapfiller has lists of small items to bump an amazon order up to free shipping.

also, when you do a good job, buy yourself flowers.
posted by theora55 at 9:09 AM on July 20, 2020 [2 favorites]

I really love Habitica for this. It takes a bit to get up and started, but it pings the reward center in my (ADHD) brain as well as physical rewards.

There are three categories of tasks you can set a value to and gain rewards from: habits, daily tasks you must complete, and to-do items. More points are awarded for difficult tasks (you define that level of difficulty for each one) or for overdue to-dos, which is a good incentive to check off things you’ve procrastinated on.

You can have full functionality without paying, though as a subscriber you get some cute benefits (not at all essential). There are purchases you can make but only for cosmetic things — basically, this isn’t something you have to pay for to enjoy. It’s just a wonderful, whimsical way to gamify the mundane or momentous tasks in your life. The rewards seem trivial typing them out but I find myself excited about them: I can buy new gear for my Habitica character! I can collect more pets! You can also join a team and work towards quests together (which are defeated by checking off tasks).

It’s easy to tailor the experience of Habitica for what works best for your brain. For some people, negative consequences are motivating. For me, immediate rewards are the most motivating thing, but it sounds like you may find a lot of satisfaction in working for a larger payoff. Habitica can do that! And you can earn points that you cash in for real life rewards, so if you do decide you want to spend money on something but only after you’ve really done the work for it, it’s a good way to rein in unplanned, spontaneous spending to celebrate your goals.

Also, as someone passionate about intuitive eating, take or leave this next unsolicited bit, as it’s not within the parameters of your question: food is designed to be rewarding because we need it to survive, don’t feel guilty for using it as a reward — maybe reframing food choices to remove morality (by which I mean not sorting food into “bad” or “good” categories) can help make you feel more in control and let you base food rewards on joy and experience instead of guilt?
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 9:36 AM on July 20, 2020 [7 favorites]

Adding to what dogwalker3 already suggested, perhaps a better email service or a publication whose paywall you keep bumping up against on-line? Those you won't "own".

I've never used one but I gather "Virtual Assistants" exist. Maybe use one for research/ideas or non-sensitive tasks. It would be to their advantage to help you meet more goals in the future and so a win-win.

FWIW.
posted by forthright at 9:55 AM on July 20, 2020

This may sound.. weird.. but have you done the 5 Love Languages test? Because "love" applies to self in this situation - you basically want to reward yourself with something that makes you feel good and affirms that positive nature of whatever you accomplished.

I am someone who reads "sticker charts" and thinks it SHOULD work for me (or whatever suggestion someone offers me) but the reality is that I don't ENJOY sticker charts the same way I enjoy other things. So, if your love language is acts of service (for example) a good reward might be paying for someone to come in and deep clean your kitchen for you. If it's physical touch, book a massage. Bonus points if it somehow fits into the goal you achieved.
posted by VioletU at 10:10 AM on July 20, 2020 [4 favorites]

I've started rewarding myself with just straight-up money. Takes a certain amount of self-control, because I have to put the 'potential' money somewhere I can't let myself touch if I don't 'earn' it (I use YNAB and make a category for it), but it's worked really well for me so far. I calculated how much money I had to spend on a fancy gym/personal trainer, neither of which has been particularly successful for me, and divided that by the number of workouts I wanted to do per month. It isn't a ton but I give myself that amount each time I work out and it adds up quickly.

I mentally make it 'guilt-free' money and it lets me spend money on small impulsive things if I want, or save up and get bigger things. I am normally very frugal and struggle with justifying any spending on non-essentials, so it feels super indulgent to have fun-money coming in on a regular basis and I find it really motivating. If you don't want to buy 'things', you could use it to save for massages, show tickets, travel, etc.
posted by MartialParts at 10:48 AM on July 20, 2020 [5 favorites]

ebooks can be as cheap or pricy or guilty-pleasure as you want.
posted by fingersandtoes at 12:08 PM on July 20, 2020 [1 favorite]

Give yourself time. Time all to yourself that does not include the TV, laptop, phone, social media and anything that arrived after 1980. Old school things like reading a book (not from the library during these pandemic times!!), sipping ginger tea, glass of wine, listening to the radio/classical music etc. Know thyself and enjoy your own company.
posted by xm at 1:30 PM on July 20, 2020 [2 favorites]

Depending on your wardrobe and how you feel about clothes, you might allow yourself a wearing of a favorite garment, or or something usually off limits for some reason.
posted by SemiSalt at 4:26 AM on July 21, 2020