Bisexualfilter: Is there a version of Skirt Club for bicurious men?

June 13, 2019 7:08 PM

I recently became aware of Skirt Club, and was wondering if there was a version for bicurious men.

For those unaware, Skirt Club is a UK-based organization that organizes parties for bi-curious women to meet other bi-curious women. The group has come to America, and there have been several stories featured about it in the mainstream media (here, here, and here).

Does anyone know if a version of Skirt Club exists for bi-curious men?

A little background: for most of my life, I've identified as a cis-hetero male. However, as I enter my late 40's, I have begun to realize that sexuality is increasingly thought of as fluid. Alongside this realization is an understanding that my own sexuality might be fluid. I have long suspected that I may in fact be bisexual. However, I live in a very conservative state and come from a very conserative upbringing. There are clubs and bathouses that cater to gay men in my local urban area, but these feel unsafe and dirty.

Then I recently read about Skirt Club. I am fascinated by this organization's sex positive mission of providing straight women with a safe, nonjudgmental environment where they can explore their curiosity with other like-minded women. I won't lie -- I'm a bit envious. I'm looking for a similar organization for bi-curious men.

I went anonuymous for obvious reasons. I'll keep checking the Green, but I've also setup an email account at [e-mail]. I would be grateful for any assistance.

One last request: please go easy on me. No flames or judgments, please. I'm genuinely interested in exploring my sexuality and am not looking for an easy hookup. This is all very new to me, and I'm genuinely interested in actual connection.

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (4 answers total)

This is sort of an answer to a slightly different question than you asked—mods, please delete if I’m too out of line—but I’ve had surprisingly good experiences on Grindr meeting sweet, genuine bi boys who were looking for a connection rather than a hookup. It’s definitely not a completely safe environment in that people do send you unsolicited dick pics, explicit opening lines, etc, but in wading through the sea of cocks it’s possible to find people as curious and inexperienced as yourself and establish real connections with them. As for an in-person event, I don’t know, but I think you might want to give the app a try.
posted by cabbage raccoon at 8:36 PM on June 13, 2019

I don’t know about clubs, but what about okcupid? Personals give you a place to say specifically what you’re looking for, a range of possibilities from hookup to friendship to love match, and some room for anonymity and vetting who you respond to, since you’re nervous.

Meanwhile, I’m going easy on you but also encourage you to spend a minute or two thinking about why gay clubs seem dirty and unsafe to you.
posted by Smearcase at 9:17 PM on June 13, 2019 [10 favorites]

I suggest getting an account on FetLife and researching bi and poly meetups (often called munches) in your vicinity. Also check meetup.com which does have some more adult/dating oriented categories.

Since what you're looking for is a connection, not a hookup, meeting people with their clothes on in a public, social atmosphere is the best start. Have some conversations, be honest about what you're looking for, ask for recommendations or thoughts.

OKC is pretty good for queer folks in dense populated areas, BUT it's not particularly private, and if you don't want to advertise your curiosity along with your face to a good chunk of the dating public in your state, best avoid it. (And yes a face photo is required on OKC, you'll get banned quickly wi/o one.)
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:57 AM on June 14, 2019 [3 favorites]

The main link and some of the comments in this recent FPP about "Why Straight Men Are Joining Masturbation Clubs" have search terms, links, and groups that you may find useful.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:02 AM on June 14, 2019