Wedding registry confusion

December 31, 2016 12:02 PM

We are getting legally married soon, but will be having an actual wedding in a year. I have questions.

We are getting married in 3 weeks. YAY. But we are planning to have an actual wedding in spring of 2018.

We would like to put together a small registry for now. We will not be publicizing it, but want to have it available in case anyone asks (and these questions have already started). We both have large families, and know someone will probably be like BUT WHAT CAN WE BUY YOU OMG.

The issue I am running into is that Amazon requires you to list the wedding date, and then you have 6 months to return things. But as the actual wedding will be in Spring 2018 (no date set yet), I'm not sure what to do.

Are there other good registry websites? I have NO IDEA what I'm doing, and am trying very hard to avoid getting sucked in to the wedding industrial complex (I know it's unavoidable, mostly). We would also like the ability to list charities that donations can be made to in lieu of gifts.

In addition, what other websites are there similar to Honeyfund that would allow people to give money towards something (such as larger purchases) (other than a honeymoon)?

Thank you in advance!

posted by bibliogrrl to Shopping (6 answers total)

The issue I am running into is that Amazon requires you to list the wedding date, and then you have 6 months to return things. But as the actual wedding will be in Spring 2018 (no date set yet), I'm not sure what to do.

Can you create the registry now and change the date later? Just pick something in the spring of 2018 for the time being and then adjust it when you have it locked down?

(Also, it sound like you feel a little weird about having a registry -- if so, don't. Registries are great! Your friends and family want to get you things that you actually want. As long as you have a variety of items at different price tiers, everyone can find something in their budget, and you've made their lives easier. Some friends of mine tried not having a registry, and the resulting chaos was hilarious for me to watch, but frustrating for them.)
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 12:07 PM on December 31, 2016

"Thanks Aunt Mildred for thinking of us so far in advance! Since the wedding isn't until Spring 2018, we haven't gotten the registry together yet. We'll let everyone know in plenty of time when we have the date! Can't wait to see you!"
posted by AFABulous at 12:35 PM on December 31, 2016

Oh, Target has a thing where you walk around the store with a scanner and it automagically puts it on your registry (I bet there's an app for that now). I don't know if you have to provide them with a date.
posted by AFABulous at 12:37 PM on December 31, 2016

If you don't want to pick a random date in Spring 2018 because you're worried about confusing people, just put the date way implausibly far into the future. That's what I did before we had our date locked down.

For cash gifts, I've heard good things about Thankful - you do have to pay for a 12-month subscription, but they don't charge guests beyond credit card processing fees.
posted by mskyle at 12:41 PM on December 31, 2016

How about two registries? Create on now, for the next few weeks, then, down the line sometime, create a new one. Just give the information for the first registry to those who ask and don't mention it to anyone else.

You will want to update the registry anyways, as you may purchase a number of those items between now and the wedding.
posted by Vaike at 2:19 PM on December 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

Can you use an Amazon wishlist instead of a registry, until the date is closer?
posted by puddledork at 4:56 PM on December 31, 2016 [1 favorite]